I wouldn’t kick her out or it will certainly lead to drugs. I drug test my child, it tests for everything including nicotine and if he fails.then he is punished. He has failed once and it’s been two years.
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Our children need us at all phases in their lives. Just in different ways. Yes, id be very upset if my 14 year old smoked but thinking of telling a new teenager to pack her bags and leave is not the answer. She isn’t 18 yet. Ground her and keep throwing cigarettes out if you have to. I highly doubt at 14 shes even addicted to nicotine right now. As hard as this is, shes being a teenager. I wish i could take back all the horrible choices I made as a teenager. She will be ok and so will you mama! You got this. Put your foot down and keep guiding her in the right direction.
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At 14 she’ll have nowhere to go, and she knows this. Definitely will just push her away more and could lead to a Waaaaayy worse lifestyle or death for her. I understand dealing with teenagers is stressful but every kid should have a safe place to lay their head.
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I didn’t go anywhere, I didn’t do anything, I didn’t talk to anyone without my mother for a year when I was seeing a boy I was told to avoid. Do that in this scenario. 14 is a rough year for girls. Show them you mean business and stick to your guns. It was the best thing my mother could have done for me.
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When is she smoking? At school? Report it to the school. Any other time, and at 14 you should know where you child is and who with at all times.
Be grateful for her honesty but take control. She’s still a child. Doesn’t matter if she doesn’t like, you’re in charge. If she’s going to friends places, contact their parents, confirm where and what they’re doing and if you aren’t ok with the answer, she doesn’t go. If they lie, she doesn’t go again. End of story.
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She’s 14. You have 4 more years of her attitude. If smoking is the worst thing she is doing let it go. She’s not going to listen. But when she’s 39 and trying to quit she will regret ever starting. Sometimes you gotta let them learn.
I have a 16 year old step daughter and I get attitude over text 
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Ok first…she’s being honest and admitting to the fault.
Need to keep that energy. How about…go to the local police station and see if she can “tour” the local juvenile facility, see what it’s like to be put in handcuffs. Let her talk to TEENS in the 16-18 year range … people she would look up to. I started smoking at the same age and the whole “my house my rules” mentality only begot a LOT of hatred between my parents and I that still goes on to today (I’m 31)
Seriously though locking her down will bite you later. You need to change her mind about her “friends” and introduce her to more productive outlets. Idle hands and all…
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My last of 4 kids just turned 18 over the summer. Their behaviors ranged from good to severe. We (over time) tried any and every form of punishment as well as reward systems, tough love, positive reinforcement and so on. There is no single right answer. Kids, teens, hell ppl in general have free will and regardless of how well or bad you do as a parent they (the child/young adult) will do as they please in the end. All you can do is try for them and plant the good seeds in their mind of morals and values and hope one day they wise up and mature enough to utilize that info. Some do just want to feel loved while some really prefer to be left alone as they feel “grown” and that you’re limiting them. Either way, they are your child and you cannot simply give up on them regardless of how negative their behaviors become. You create them and have to deal with their bs as well as their good doing. Consistency does help. Don’t make blank threats. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Make your authority known and stand firm in that but in doing so dont fail to make them aware that life has many roads and just because they may have chosen a wrong one that they can turn around at any point and try again! Good luck!
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She needs to be counseled an the cops may have to intervene to see where she is buying it remember she is a minor an she may need alot if prayers as well wish u all the best
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Where in the hell do you think a 14 year old can go??? You’re pretty much guaranteeing her life will turn to shit if you do that. I don’t get these parents that think disrespect or rebellion from the kids is grounds to put them out on the street. If you’re a parent then BE A PARENT. Jesus.
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Well im not one to judge at all but I have had both of my nieces when their mother kicked them out to me because of some idiotic thing they did or tried to do. But I didn’t allow while they was here and the one thing I actually did that their mother constantly doesn’t ever do is talk to them and get to the root of why they are doing it!!! I don’t yell and scream and tell them to pack up their belongings. I listen to them in a way I guess an Aunt is suppose to. I let them vent and cry and we may even cry together but the main thing I do is listen. Its the main thing to do. I love all babies and im gonna tell you right now that is your daughter and you need to take a different approach. She is 14. Not 18! Talk to her and see why she is wanting to smoke, ask her how she thinks she can support her habit with no job, there is so many things I can say to this. Feel free to message me for advise. Because I’m not a judger at all.
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I was like this and my parents did nothing… all I wanted was for them to be there for me and help me out with life. I was so confused and depressed.
My advice? Put your foot down. She may scream and kick… but she will appreciate it when she’s older. Tell her to find new friends and don’t let her go out with anyone you do not know.
Like so many others have said… she’s 14 not 20. She’s still a kid, treat her like one.
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If you kick her out you’ll be charged with child abandonment/neglect
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When I was 16 my grandma caught me with a cigarette, she went to the store and bought a pack of cigarettes, then she made me smoke the whole pack in front of her, I got so sick, I threw up. Then she whooped my ass with the belt. I haven’t smoked a cigarette since😅
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Kicking her out will only push her to do more drugs and listen to her friends I’d ground her not let her see those friends anymore even if it means switching schools/towns I was like this at 14 I haven’t lived at home since I was 14 I was out on my own it might make her hate you at first but when she gets older she will understand but whatever you do do not kick her out
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She’s not smoking crack! Quit being a shitty parent and trying to kick out a 14 year old child! Or better yet do it so charges can be pressed against you
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Where is she getting the money for cigarettes? She needs to respect you, but kicking her out is dangerous for you both. Also, does either one of you need a baby right now ? There are worse things than smoking.
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Oh Hell no, that’s when you keep her locked up and no more friends until she can make better Choices, you are her guardian and her support system, dont fail her
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Turning a child out at 14 years of age is not wise. She will be a part of the child trafficking. I would seek other ways and counselors to work with her. Check dr. Phil’s page there you can find help
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I think it’s extreme to kick.a 14 year old out if I’m honest she’s still a child we all make mistakes when we are young she needs to learn from them but throwing her out at such a young age is asking for trouble and teaching her nothing
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Find out where she is smoking underage, and call the cops on her and her friends
Ground her. No phone. No computer. No friends. Just school and home. Drop her off and pick her up from school. And get security on your house so when she tries to exit the alarms go off… if she has a cellphone id also be tracking that… then id put her into counseling as well. And get some for myself, therapist may be able to help and give you ideas on what to do.
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Dont kick her out, ground her take away all technology and have a serious talk with the parents of her friends(probably they dont even know about what theyre kids are doing) take away all social media and talk to her,show her what smoking does. She is 14 shes just a kid probably wants/needs attention try to be her friend and have a talk with her. And if that doesnt help GET HER HELP ASAP!
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Kicking her out is giving her her way! Take everything away she likes. Phone computer and tv. You pay for those things. I won’t give her a dime either. I’d pay for school stuff directly through the school. Don’t trust her with any money. Anything not earned isn’t hers. I have a 16 year old and she knows better. I’ve always been hard on her but we are extremely close and she comes to me about everything. Especially friends. I give them a chance and if I see something I don’t like then she respects that and parts ways. She knows that momma knows best. Tough love is the only way.
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I have been this kid and am now a parent. If my children did this I would:
1 not accepting of the behaviour but
2 tell my child I loved them
3 try very hard to find ways to connect with my child and the group of friends - go out of my way to Create events, do things with them, pay for getting nails done etc … ANYTHING to try to connect with the friends and Influence them (as well as my child)
4 get creative with other adults and really try to get support for you in an organic way ie. invite others along on any get togethers (ones that know what you are doing).
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Imagine kicking out your child who’s clearly having mental health crisis? Instead of seeking help from outside resources? Yikes😬
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My mom threw my ass out at the age of 14 and then she put me in placement . I was running around , skipping school, doing drugs, drinking… and it didn’t get me anywhere good
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Speaking from experience, don’t kick her out. Yes, she deserves consequences. She needs to know its not okay and you won’t tolerate it. But please, consider paying more attention to her (not that you don’t already, I don’t know your situation). Make sure she KNOWS how much you love her. Make time for just the two of you. Make sure she knows she can tell you anything. I did this EXACT thing when I was 14, it wasn’t because I “didn’t care” and “wanted to be bad”, it was because my friends gave me more attention and love than my parents ever did and I would’ve done anything to keep that (thus the cigarette smoking and drugs). I’m 23 now with two of my own kids, and though things have been so much better between my parents and I there’s so many scars that will never heal. Speak love into your children, ALWAYS. Even when they are difficult. Boundaries are important. Consequences are important. But so is love.
-Sincerely, a rebellious “trouble” child who is now a mom trying my absolute best to learn from my childhood.
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I never smoked. I always attributed that to a dear Aunt who died of lung cancer. She sat all young people down, and gave very graphic details of hospital stays, doctor visits, procedures, side effects and so forth. She spared no details, and even showed scars, equipment, bruises and so forth. I’ve never forgotten that lesson to this day, and I’m 50. My dad died of cirrhosis even though he didn’t drink. A couple trips to that area of the hospital, and I never drank either. That may not work for her, but I’ve shared my experience with my kids, and they don’t smoke, and my oldest only drinks a few times a month.
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Take EVERYTHING from her, inky leave a mattress in her room and that’s it. Take all her clothes and shoes and leave her one pair of shoes and a few outfits and that’s it. Take any and all electronics, take the door off the hinges, and only allow her to go to school and come home. Set up daily chores and if she starts acting right slowly give things back
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My friends mom made her sit in front of her and smoke and entire pack right there one after another. She got so sick she never wanted to smoke again, worth a try.
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I’m more concerned that you as a parent told her to pack her bags , that is awful, If that’s ok with you packing her bags and going elsewhere makes me wonder why she feels the need to smoke and run with a rough crowd, kids tend to rebel at that age, but to be told to pack up and out is a bit much, my 19 year old died in a car wreck, he’s not ever going to hug my neck or walk through the front door again, I hope u don’t have to experience that kind of loss but giving up on a child and saying that your well on the way,
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Happen to a friend she put her daughter in military school total change for the good for the child BEST thing she could is done for her minor child
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Love, patience, tolerance for your daughter. She needs to know she can come to you when things are getting bad. Get her educated on drug abuse and the real horrors of it so she can begin to make her own educated decisions when you are not around. You may not be able to tell her because you are too close to the situation but possibly recovering addicts and alcoholics. Take her to an AA Meeting, NA Meeting. Let her hear for herself what drugs can do to a person. Sometimes you have to get constructive when it comes to kids and teenagers. I believe being a parent is also being a teacher, getting them ready for the world. Sometimes that involves getting their participation and getting them to communicate with you. Foster an environment where they can.
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What happened to boot camp… I come from a military family …take everything away and put her ass in a program …parents so scared now days of discipline its fukn ridiculous…
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A 14 year old knows exactly what they are doing. They may not know the consequences. It’s probably alot of peer pressure. I wouldn’t kick her out as that could lead to much worse. But she wouldn’t be leaving the house. She wouldn’t be seeing her friends. If she starts sneaking out, then I’d seek outside help or harsher punishments. Also remember, She can’t get in contact with friends if she has no phone or device.
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When people, especially children, pick up addictive habits, they are trying to fill a void or have a sense of control in the midst of something they feel is chaotic, whether it’s emotional, mental, parental rejection, bullying in school, poor self-esteem, or trauma. The best thing you can do is set her up with a therapist and get to the bottom of it. They will not only help her learn better coping skills, but they will help her work through whatever is going on in her mind. As a parent, it is your job to instill consequences, yes – but, also, SUPPORT. If you kick her out, you are confirming in her mind the feeling of low self-worth and further damaging her. Not to mention, opening her up to making even poorer decisions to try to survive. I’m not saying enable her by ignoring the behavior or just allowing the smoking to continue. But, set the consequences and get her help.
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My mom kicked me out at 16. We both regret not trying… I turned out fine… but I didn’t graduate. Dated a rebel boy who abused me for 7yrs. Every abuse you can think of… i I wish so badly I had stayed in school. Stayed home… don’t kick her out.
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Nearly all children go through fazes of doing things they shouldn’t do but most come out the other side, its called growing up. Just try and point her in the right direction. But be there for her. That’s what mothers are supposed to do. You have a long way to go. Hopefully she will see sense in the end.
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At 14, She is just touching on life. I would give her time to see & feel what her life will be befor you throw her out. You must remember she Is a very young girl & lot Could happen to her out there. Is she a danger to you ? do she REFUSE To DO any schooling to learn ? does she talk back to you? Do she physically fight with you ? If none of these, hold off until she do something constrlctive other than hanging out. FADS do wear out. You continue to help her as much as you can & help her to recognize her life style is not gonna take her anywhere. Let me know how you make out.
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Hell no be the parent!!! You can’t abandon your child…its your job to protect her not throw her to the wolves. Take a good long look inside yourself and ask why this is happening. Get her help don’t just give up.
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Yes she is legally too young to be smoking etc, yet throwing her out isn’t the right answer to this problem either. I was a " troubled" teen due to my parents religious beliefs and me not being able to have much of any say on MY life/body. Telling kids not to do something, makes them want to do it; push boundaries etc! (You gotta remember being a bit like that as a teen)
Remember when you feel like kicking her out that, you’re the one who choose to have your child. Does she push your limits/buttons (you bet) that doesn’t mean that you should just kick her out/tell her to pack her bags! We make good and bad choices in life, normally you realize the bad ones quicker if you don’t have people going “against” your (bad) decision(s)
I have a personal connection to this post, my younger sister was the same as your daughter, she ran off to live with a friend cuz she didn’t want to follow dad’s rules, she wanted to smoke and drink at 15, my dad told the friends mum she had permission to keep her and my sis didn’t even bother to keep in contact, it was a very hard time, she had a loving home and family and just didnt want to follow rules, it took quite a few years to forgive her selfish behaviour and we don’t bring it up or use it against her, she grew up and realised what she had done was horrible. She’s 23 now and still smokes but whatever. Point is there’s only so much a parent can take, I was 18 when my sister was rebelling and I understood why my dad made that decision, he knew she was safe with this other mum that we knew, he was hoping she would see sense of her actions but it took a few years.
I don’t know if you’ve got other children but they will be affected by this behaviour too xx
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Wow, nothing amazes me anymore although this caught me off guard and you are her MOTHER? I feel for this baby, which IS what she is I cannot fathom my momma wanting to throw me to the streets for ANYTHING let alone a pack of cigarettes this is what you DON’T do. 
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Absolutely do NOT kick her out, but set boundaries with her…no smoking in or around the house, things like that… if you think she is doing drugs, take everything she has…phone, computer(unless doing homework), allowance, anything that will “make her life miserable”…she wants you to set boundaries and she may push back but keep talking to her as much as you can about what could happen if she goes down that path…I went thru a really long scary road with my daughter and I wish I would have done things differently. Luckily she (and I) survived and she is doing well now. I wish you luck and sending good vibes your way!
She might be hard to deal with, but she needs you more now than ever. You don’t give up on your kids when they are hard. What does that do to prepare them for the world? I’m all for tough love, but in this situation that means not allowing her to be around bad friends. Not kicking her out and making her fend for herself. That’s how addiction is born and her friends are on drugs. What does she have to hold onto if she doesn’t have you?
Don’t take the easy way out
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She needs you more than ever right now.
I would start by asking why she feels the need to smoke. Listen to her.
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I’m going through the same thing with my 15 year old boy , but mine has been bullied since he was 6 n we have done everything to help him all the way but know he finally has friends, so he’s doing the same as them n thinking they have his back, I kicked him out to another family member hoping being away from the area would help, but I have such a hole in my heart n knowing we have been thought so much he should be home where he be longs n try to put sum kind of routine of order to help keep it from happening as much, but they do need the shock of of losing there comfort at home to understand what they are losing, I don’t think anyone knows how to deal with it every kid is different something’s work something’s don’t , but I made sure he was safe , n all he wants is to cum home so now parenting is back in my court I want him home n I don’t know if what I’m putting in place is going to work but I have to try as a mother I have too .
I don’t get why kids think smoking is cool it’s so gross. I agree you should just take everything away from her. No phone etc. Take her bedroom door off… privacy is not a right it’s earned at that age. Also it’s illegal for a 14 to be smoking … isn’t the legal age 17? Tell her she can smoke then lol. I can see kicking an older teenager out but 14 is still young. Unless you mean she is going to stay with a grandparent or dad. Teens are so hard. Hang in there and do the best you can.
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When I was 10 years old I started smoking; by 12 I was doing meth and smoking weed. By 14 I was so far in addiction I couldn’t be helped. I struggled with my mom fighting me and my step dad trying to help, I kept trying to ruin my life running away and bending for weeks at a time, Until I turned 18 I got arrested and was facing felony charges. I checked myself into rehab after realizing sitting in jail no one was helping me. And through it all, the ONE person who never quit, the one person who kept going to find me each time and grounding me and restricting me the one person who came and bailed me out was my MOM and I thank god every day she never gave up on me bc I wouldn’t be here today. Take from that what you will but I’ve been clean off meth since 2006. I’m 34 now with kids of my own. I will never abandon them !!!
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I, personally, would recommend getting counseling for yourself as well as your daughter. However, I don’t know your circumstances, your life style, your morals or values, if your a single parent, a working parent who isn’t home all day, or if your daughter would even go to counseling. There are some very emotional, and destructive teens out there, but if you can get her to go I believe a good therapist could help. I also believe it starts at home in teaching your kids the consequences of right and wrong, but I also know some kids are pure hard headed, and we do tend to spoil them until they think they can do no wrong. If you have other family members you can rely on perhaps a change in scenery and structure for your daughter may do some good. You might even want to see if your local police station has any programs to help troubled teens, or see if there are any activities you can put her in to keep her busy. And I do recommend taking all the electronics away. Prayers for you as I know you’re in a hard predicament.
I wouldn’t kick her out, she is just probably trying to find herself- that age is hard. Be there for her, talk to her & explain to her that she can have friends but needs to stay true to herself, be herself no matter what her friends are doing. Show her a picture of lungs with smoking & without, sometimes seeing how horribly it can affect you is what it takes. Hold strong. Parenting isn’t easy but sometimes being a teenager isn’t either. 
Hugs
Honestly i smoked and did drugs about 15 or so but however bad i was my dad stuck by my side and didnt give up on me it will pass i thank god everyday for that man i wish he was still here to see i have grown and now have 2 kids i will proably have to deal with the same way hopefully not i try my best everyday to show compassion and love
On one hand she came to you and told you the truth and your reaction is to tell her to pack her bags…on the other she is not old enough to buy them so it’s illegal. I think hammer down on her privileges would be the better route than to kick her out. I’m talking everything that makes her happy gone out of her room including the door because she forfeited privacy when she started doing something illegal in your home. But kicking her out is only going to make things worse for you both IMO
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I have a 14 year old daughter and she has made some wrong decisions. My main focus is to teach her and educate her on what could happen if she chooses a or b. Because I don’t freak out, and I educate, she is very open with me. On the contrary, my good friend has a 14 year old daughter who sneaks around constantly and doesn’t tell her anything because she is so very strict and instills very strict punishments so her daughter is afraid to talk to her.
In my opinion, you should educate, guide and listen to your daughter before you kick her out.
It’s illegal for her to do so. Take her to the police station. Let them tell her what could happen. Then take her to the hospital and visit someone with lung cancer or visit people who have lost there limbs from smoking. Ask her if she wants to be around to see her grandkids.
I would plaster info all around the house. Ask her if she likes her teeth. If you’ve paid for braces. Like I told my kids. Those teeth are mine until you are 18. So you will not do anything to harm them. By the time she is 40 she won’t have any if she smokes because those tiny blood vessels to your teeth are restricted and die off. I’m so sorry. This really hurts my heart. Make her do a report on the effects of smoking and if she wants to not breathe freely then she can start when she is of legal age. 21.
This is coming from a child of a family of 3 smokers. I was blamed of smoking. Because I smelled so horrible. At Holidays the smoke would be so thick you could see it floating like clouds. It was horrible.
PLEASE don’t make threats like that to your child and she is a Child. We all had our vice as a young kid, its how you handle it, thats important.
This year Alone has been so messed up, Imagine being a hormonal 14 yr old!
So important for you child to come to you about Anything, be there Mom. It’s not easy by any means, just don’t give up out of frustration.
Prayers sent:pray:
I don’t have much advice but I started smoking around age 13. I was going to do what I wanted to do regardless of what my parents said. Smoking is one of those things you can’t force people to quit until they are ready, and sadly nicotine is highly addictive and you get hooked fast. I was finally ready to quit when I turned 30. And I’ve been cigarette free for almost 4 years now
My advice, show her what smoking does. YouTube videos of smokers dying of cancer and trachs. Show her the reality of that disgusting slow suicide
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I think i started at 13, the same age as most of my friends. She will smoke whether you know about it or you don’t, so be thankful she’s telling you things (for now)
Tell her how disgusting it is, how much it costs, the damage in and out side the body, the stentch, the lot. Let her know she’s upsetting you and you’re disappointed etc but then you need to kind of hope thats enough for her to make wise choices!
If you’re too strict she will do it anyway and hide it from you, like several of my 13yr old friends did. Now at 34, i dont smoke (i quit in my early 20s when i realised myself that its a mugs game) yet some of those friends who had the strict parents still smoke.
Dont kick her out… That will only cause damage in the future. Asking whats causeing her to smoke is the real issue here. Peer pressure or stress or her just trying to rebel. There is a deeper reason. And its most liklely attention seeking. Love and understand is (in my personal experience) the best and only way to see results
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My youngest son ( now 18) was s bit of a handful from ages 13- 16 …he battled depression , smoking, problems at school, mood swings and was smoking pot it was a bumpy road but he has made big changes…he was never violent that would have changed a lot but we just talked to him and his friends and their parents he started to turn around when we bought him his first guitar…music has helped him so much .
.hormones play a huge part in how they feel and react give her time she will turn around .
I started smoking, drinking, and doing drugs when I was 13. One parent pushed the “no smoking” “no drugs” “no alcohol” which probably made me do it more. That parent threatened to kick me out, leave me homeless, and disown me. I haven’t talked to that parent in 6 years. The other parent talked to me, got me help, and realized that i had some mental health issues that needed to be addressed. That parent knew what I was doing, when I was doing it, who I was doing it with, etc. We decided that marijuana was the better option than prescription pills together. I stopped drinking and drugs by the time I was 18 but continued to smoke cigarettes cause I was of legal age and it was my decision. That parent is my best friend. As much as 13 year old me didn’t want help and disregarded advice, it was something I needed and eventually it settled in. I got my mental health under control and everything else fell into place. Do not threaten to kick her out! Keep talking to her. Ground her if needed. BE A PARENT! Because one day could be the last day she is in your life, or one day could be the day she thanks you and your relationship becomes unbreakable.
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Ground her, homeschool her or put her in online school, and take away every ounce of freedom she has with these so-called friends. Do not kick her out. I am currently trying to mend the damage my daughter’s father has done after kicking her out over a f*cking lie. A LIE! If you have to, install cameras and motion sensors so you are aware of her every move. If she wants to break the law, she can deal with the consequences at home. If the problem continues, contact the authorities and let them handle it. But do not, under any circumstances, treat her like she’s a burden not welcome in your home. Counseling would also be beneficial for her. She needs tough love and guidance. Not thrown out because she’s too much to handle.
Remember that only God can put a longing for Him in one’s heart. She needs help and needs to understand the health consequences that follow health abuse. I will pray for you all.
Throwing her out of the house is a very bad idea. She is 14 yrs old her behaviour are not appropriate due to peer group pressure and adolescent stage. Alot of cancelling is needed. Chasing her away might destroy her life completely in many different ways not only by smoking. Mum keep your daughter close.
Idk maybe some corporal punishment would work (YDC, military school)… Just saying. You can always tell her no, take everything away from her. Then put alarms on doors and windows to make sure she’s not sneaking out. Take bedroom door until she can act better, and then start giving privileges back when corrected.
She 14!! A minor. A child that has lost her path. I know it’s frustrating and hurtful and your at wits end, please try some counselling with her. Maybe in a neutral setting you both can sort out these problems and learn and grow from it. I wish you the best.
My son is 14. I’d pay him to act out of line with me. I don’t physically discipline my son. But one time he screamed at me and i back handed him in the mouth and told him how dare he disrespect me. I reminded him how hard i work to be a good mom to him and I’d be damned. Never ever got out of line again. That was 2 years ago, only time i ever got physical. I would start with taking all electronics away, except for school comp if online schooling, grounding her, ect. And to earn everything back. My sister in law actually just put her 14 year old in a military school. He stayed first 3 weeks straight there and now goes every other weekend, and does training on certain days. 4 hours from home But he has changed so much. Way more respectful and responsible. Might be an option. But its time to be assertive and show her you’re the boss, you’re the mom and she is the child. She needs to follow rules but you can’t let her run all over you. Good luck
Please don’t throw her out. Have you thought about all the things that could happen to her without a home? A mother shouldn’t quit being a mother because you don’t like their actions. Love her no matter what. Punish her by taking a privilege. Or give her chores to do. If all else fails, get professional help. Pray everything will work out for you and your daughter.
I can’t say much as I’ve been smoking since I was 13. However drugs are a total different story, it’s your job as a mother is she goes down that path that you follow her through hell and if need be bust a few doors down, embarrass her infront of her friends while “drugs” are going down and such, if that ain’t your thing call the cops and have them detain her/show her how the real world works!
In the meantime, seperate her from those “friends” as much as possible, take away phones, computers, tablets, internet, the works. Leave only the basic needs in her room (a bed, blanket, pillow, dresser/closet with 7 days worth of clothes) make it clear what you want her to be doing, how to earn the “nice” things back, and stick to your guns!
I have 3 daughters that are very close in age. They were all 3 complete monsters at that age until they turned 16. I did what my parents did to me and made them get jobs when they turned 15. They didn’t have as much free time on their hands to get into trouble. I also let them know that they could talk to my about anything and that I loved them unconditionally. It was a nightmare but we got through it. They are all in their 20’s now and on their own and are very hard workers. Hang in there. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
Such an extreme and long term reaction to something that can be a temporary issue.
All you will show your child is that you were willing to give up on them rather than just persevere whilst showing them you love them, she will likely get over it once she realises it doesn’t bother you and it’ll go back to normal but that can’t happen if you send her packing…
And also you need to think she was comfortable enough to come to you with this, now she won’t want to come to you with any other issues…
You have done more damage for no reason.
Her life her choices
At that age, they know right from wrong
Her decisions don’t reflect you as a parent.
I have 7 and believe me, sometimes you just have to let them grow and learn on their own. If she gets caught, she will be arrested. It’s illegal for her age.
I can only say that kicking her out is not going to work and could push her into a worse situation. Family and individual counseling, grounding that works, no hanging with friends, lose out on privileges…
One thing I did to my two older 14 and 12 was have them watch movies that show the worst of bad habits such as the movie taken and others with addiction. Showed them real stories of people with lung cancer and such. AIDS…they were even in the delivery room when I had the younger kids 
they said they will not have children for a VERY LONG TIME
I started smoking, drinking and doing drugs at 13 after my mum died at 12. My dad was beside himself with his own grief and didn’t know what to do so he made home a safe place to do it at. It was actually the best thing he could do. He could make sure I was safe, he had my older brothers make sure I couldn’t get hold of really hard drugs like meth. It was a crazy couple years and seriously I’m very lucky. I think I would have ended up raped, arrested or worse if I didn’t have a safe place with people watching out for me. Not all my friends were so lucky and have ended up with major meth addictions and a couple have committed suicide. There parents were very strict about it all so they did it behind their backs and got in terrifying positions. It’s not ideal but it worked for me and my dad. We have been extremely close ever since. I’m so lucky my kids are anti drugs and alcohol. I honestly don’t know if I could watch them go though what I did
I don’t know what’s right or wrong. What works for some doesn’t always work for others. I smoked then as well. Was upfront with my mother about everything I was doing from 14-16 never lied. I feel I got away with too much. Much more then I want to let my kids get away with now. But I would’ve gone down a really bad path if I was kicked out.
That’s honestly the worst thing you could do. She’s troubled, she’s hurting… choosing to push her out now, when she’s really crying out for help, is the most damaging and hurtful thing you could do right now. Trust me, I’ve been there. It’s not ok to be disrespected, but sometimes we need to take a step back, away from our emotions and look at the big picture. Why is she acting this way? How can I be active in helping her heal through whatever is causing this behavior?? Pushing her away when she needs you the most (even though she may act like she hates everyone around her) will only cause her more damage and sink her even more.
You can’t she is a minor, you wont get any help until cops or dss are involved and still they dont give a shit about the parents who discipline their children because they love them and how they need to be and get told you can’t do that or counseling. Sorry just venting but good luck
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I was like that. My mother died when I was 12. Hung out with the wrong people at 13. I needed counseling then that I never got. I got my own counseling at 25. I should have had it 12 years sooner… My daughter was like that,she got tons of counseling and it is working.
Switch her school! Or go virtual. Get her away from the other kids! ALL of them. Even the ones you think are good influences… maybe especially them, they’re the sneakiest. Clear her phone with no contacts and new social media accounts if you even let her have them. Check her phone she’s on drugs I’m sorry 
no boyfriends either. New school or virtual learning and clean the whole damn phone. Paint her room and make it nice so that she is ALL NEW. Also throw away her slutty clothes. My mom couldn’t switch my school but when people called the house for me she would say I no longer lived there. She needs an entirely fresh start. Move if you can. Good luck!
Show her images of sick patients for smoking and other bad lungs side affects the harm of it give her a harsh reality and make sure u stay its not cool no body thinks it is
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Seriously that kicking her out is a bit extreme! I didnt like that my daughter was smoking at that age.
It’s probably time to start talking to your daughter, not being mad.
If you can talk to her civil and not criticize her but listen to her, you might find a new best friend. You won’t always see eye to eye. Just pick your battles, I do not like smoking either…but that’s a battle that you are not going to win…
Never buy them for her or give her money for them. It won’t stop her from smoking, but your not contributing. Kicking her out is not going to solve this problem…
Why would you kick your child out. She is under 18 years of age so you would be a parent that abandons and leaves your child behind and leaves them on their own because of SMOKING you are a very sad individual to EVER say you would abandon your child. You guide and help and sit down and explain things if that doesn’t work take everything she owns that you and the father bought her and tell her you want to go down a wrong path then you do not deserve all the nice things and privileges that we gave you… DO NOT KICK HER OUT.
Grounding will make her worse, just let her do what she’s doing right now and you stop being such a moody mum (meant in the nicest of ways). I was rebellious when told no, if she’s anything like i was then telling her no, or you’re not happy wigh it, will make her worse. Just say something along lines of as long as home ?pm, schoolwork done, chores done, then be happy, she’ll sort herself out. Good luck x
Why dont you just ground her take her phone or whatever communication she has to her friends not kick her out where she can go do drugs and overdose you would feel bad then shes 14 dont let her hang with her friends and very minimal freedom
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I wouldn’t throw her out… At 14yrs old it’s all about influence & environment & wanting to fit in! For me it was anyway… Honestly if it were me id take my ass down to the juvenile courthouse & get her on a program called ARY(At Risk Youth) That’s what it was called when I was a teen. & Ask for help! They will point u in the right direction… get her into counseling etc. Don’t give up on her… Fight for her. Let her know mama ain’t fucking around. That program is amazing & did wonders for my sister & I. I strongly suggest that u do it… especially if u feel like it’s that extreme, which I’d say it is! Wish u the best mama!
My mum did this to me and the only that woke me up was having my son at 15!! Don’t kick her she will only get worst atleast she told you! Take her device she can’t get drugs if she can’t contact anyone and lock up the windows and put her in house arrest she can’t smoke anymore but be prepared for her to have her come down front drugs, you wanted to be a mother you need to act like one kicking her out is just gonna make her worst and I know this cause the same thing happened to me when I 13-14
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I would switch schools or home school until she gets better keeping her around these kinds of friends won’t help her I would get her to dr see what method is safe for her to use quiting and help support her through getting to better mind set and meeting better friends for her and limit her from being outside on her own until she matures
Not going to criticize, parenting is a hard job. i wouldn’t kick her out, but I would treat her as though she is living on the streets. First i would take everything you’ve paid for out of her room except for her bed and some clothes(legally minors need a bed and clothes, the basics) . take the phone,tv, xbox or playstation, change the wifi password, hide the laptops, take her door of the hinges, then when she complains and asks for “her” things back, you can always tell her to ask her “friends” to buy her a phone, computer, etc. They can support her cigarette habit, they can picl up the tab on “her” other stuff.
Too young to let Her decide for herself IF you have to ground Her Do It! Move her to different school monitor all her movements Until She sets her behavior well. You as A parent Have the power to straighten your Childs path. Do Not Abandon Her and let her be totally wrecked by her friends.
Be firm with Her and Yes Try Counseling and Coordinate with her school also to know whats really happening with her life.
She admitted to smoking, she told you. She is 14. Don’t kick her out over a pack of smokes… that will only lead to worse behavior. I started smoking at 14, still smoke to this day do I regret it yes I do but I blame no one but myself. Sometimes we have to learn on our own… let her learn I’m not saying let her light one up right in front of you ( lord knows I didn’t) but if she is gonna do it then she is gonna do it. But I would stop supplying the means to get them however she does get them. I was always told “ i know you smoke, but god help you when I catch you” do not kick your daughter in the streets for smoking… or for anything for that matter she is your blood your daughter. Help her. Talk to her. Don’t go straight to kicking her out. You will lose her forever. She is just a baby. We all learn, but you gotta let them. Not belittle them.
Question: Does the parent in this situation smoke? Also it is illegally to kick a child of 14 out of the home.
Ss parents we are teachers. Lead by example. Don’t smoke yourself & teach your children the truth about smoking, it causes death & disease.
Abandoning them is not the right solution, their frontal lobes aren’t even fully formed. Educate her on the dangers, spend extra time with her, talk to a doctor or psychologist. It’s not abnormal to rebel at this age, just make sure she doesn’t feel isolated and looking to others to fulfill a missing need.
Sounds like a normal teen… How about be a parent and not throw her out when times get rough. I think her telling the daughter to pack her bags is worse than the daughter being a curious teen. Be a parent! Ground her, take things away. Find out which friends are bad influence… find her a hobby keep her busy with other things. Take privileges away! Youre trying to throw her out when time gets rough because just seems easier speaks volumes.
Dont punish her for being honest with kicking her out sounds like she is asking for help! So be a parent! Starting with taking privileges away.
I would Pray for her at every chance…get family Counseling and if all fails have her committed into a juvenile centre…she will be angry but she will live grow up and get a chance to change…May God bless you and your family
I personally wouldn’t throw my Child out, however tough it is. Show her pictures of what lungs look like covered in Tar from the effects of smoking… I actually got a boy to stop Smoking in the 90s when I was at School when we were in Science class and showed him the textbook… I said here, that’s what your lungs look like. Leave leaflets in her room about effects of misuse of drugs and addiction. Take her to an addiction counseller through GP maybe but don’t tell her where you are going. Just book it and hopefully she will listen. As tough as it is, don’t give up on her. She will never forgive you for that. Good luck. 
I’d take her to a hospital ward for lung cancer patients maybe even as a volunteer. Actions speak louder than words. 
I would def not kick her out 
Shes 14 and needs guidance. She probably feels she needs to to be accepted sadly. Maybe show her some info or pics of people sick w lung cancer…or the consequences of smoking? Show her the picture of the twins…smoking n non smoking…the wrinkles…the yellow fingers. Educate her about it. Then she can make the decision…and id be thankful she was honest. Shes gotta respect you though. Maybe ask her to talk or if theres some place shed like to go with you ?
Wait! She is 14 
You need to establish back control and be the boss. Being a parent isn’t all fun, it means being the bad guy a lot of the time. Don’t throw her out that’s just awful but I would unplug the internet, take away the phone, and demand she stays home. If she runs away trust me I would be throwing her into dr Phil’s ranch for bad kids!
She’s 14, they know everything 
.
If you kick her out, she’ll be on a worse path than she is now. Get her on a schedule.
Find someone to watch her while you’re at work.
Have her talk to someone who didn’t give up smoking in time and is now suffering the consequences.
Get her into therapy.
There are so many things you can do, but do not kick her out. Kids learn by testing the limits, show her you still love her
Sending her packing at her she is dangerous! I would find a councilor or someone she respects to talk to her. Hopefully she’ll grow out of it…14 is a hard age! ! Please pray for her to listen and respect you. It’s hard for the child to respect someone who they feel doesn’t respect them! Praying!