Buy a pack of Marlboro red and make her smoke the entire pack… she will puke her guts up and never smoke again
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Tell her I’ve been smoking for 13 years and I regret everything. 
it’s so hard to quit and now that i have a child, I wish I could use the money on stuff for him like toys and doing fun things but I cannot for the life of me quit and it was my biggest regretZ
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14 is to young for a young girl to be on her own even if she stays at a friends house how about her living with her Dad take here to a N/A meeting let her here some of the drug stories from them maybe that will help Good Luck Mom
I’m sorry I dont have any advice. I dont even know what I would do myself. my daughter dream has always been to go to college on a sports scholarship and hope that she understands the long term effects of drinking and smoking. I dont think i could throw my child out of the house but I feel your frustration and how you may feel that you don’t have a way to help her.
Sounds like both you and daughter need some help. A mother willing to throw their own child out at age 14 for smoking! That’s wrong. If u cant get a grip on her let her father if hes alive and or involved or another relative have her. I’m a smoker my children know not to smoke and never have my oldest is 14 you have to literally put the fear of god in them! And also take away all privileges!
Where is she supposed to go at 14? What kind of life will she have without the love and protection of her parent? I don’t think that’s fair or right or justified. I hope you let your child back into your home. Life is unbelievably hard without the love and protection of family or a home.
I am sorry, she has to obey her parents. Don’t let her do what she likes. Play rough, she don’t listen, remove everything from her hands, mobile, money, no extras.show her YouTube videos what’s happening with does who smoke and take drugs. Make her busy,sports,sport,sport. Her mind have to be occupied at all time. Talk to her, be her friend, her best friend.
I would take away the cell phone, all the electronics… if she’s living a cushy life style… time to change it. I’m sorry but if you’re funding her habits, you’re part of the problem as well. And don’t feel bad about it. Actions have consequences. She made a choice so hold her to it. As for her friends… I would absolutely go to their parents. Sorry, but their kids are all doing this as well.
Very difficult transition where parents now become you can’t tell me what to do , they also tell other people what they want to hear about how they are treated and yes will confer and listen to peers . There’s a running joke with my daughter and her friend when her friend at 13/14 tried to tell me how things are I said YOU go away you are juuuust her little shadow lol we still refer to it now and they are 30 and 29 respectively . Wonder what she would THINK if YOU started the habit of smoking ? I super glad non of my five adult kids smoke or ever did but kicking them out of home naaaa , It’s a hard one , mabes rules buy yr own , don’t come inside stinking of smoke , most certainly NOT in the house or bedrooms YUK , educate on how bad smoking is by getting some reading material leave it on her bed . Good luck
I don’t care what my babies do I’ll never throw them out because they are messing up. I’m going to love them and help them however they’ll let me. Get her into therapy.
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I didnt exactly kick my child out at the age of 14 but I did pack her bags and sent her to live with her father!
New school… no friends and everyday after the first month she called me every day to go get her… it broke my heart but it’s called tough love!
I left her to finish the school year. She came home after and her attitude changed 100% she ended high school with honors and went on to medical school. Tough love worked for me… in greatful I had my x husband on my side and WE accomplished the "co-parenting "thing and turned around my daughter for the best!
From a respiratory therapist, she needs to stop now. If not, she will be like one of my usual patients who come to the hospital regularly bc they can’t breath. It’s a slow and uncomfortable death if you die from years of smoking. I’ve seen it first hand…
I was also 14 and honestly I did it to get attention from my parents. They were stuck in their own world, going through a divorce and ‘forgot’ about me their 14 year old daughter. So I started rebelling so they’d give me attention.
Is there anything possibly going on at home that she’s rebelling against? School maybe? I’m her social circle?
Ground her too, sometimes you need to take her away from the other influences for you voice to be heard. Overall, you are her parent, I wouldn’t be throwing my 14 year old out, it’s a tricky time and a tricky age. Bare with her, she’ll probably come through the other end. It’s hard on you, I get that but please don’t throw her out, you’ll just help make it worse. Ground her, remove other influences, make yourself heard! Don’t try be her friend but do try to empathise with her. But remember you are mum!! Xxx
Put on counseling. Honestly hanging out with the wrong crowd isn’t the only thing that’s a start a child from acting out. It’s at the core of her being. I was once that kid and needed counseling desperately. You might not think she needs it but there’s so much going on that is unsaid and unseen by a mother even a loving one.
I was kicked out at 15. This is never the way to go. She is crying for attention. She wants to be parented. Not controlled but loved and taught and valued. There is something bothering her. Kicking her out will only exacerbate the problem. She is a child. Take away her social media, phone, ground her from doing anything so she sees you care. Get her help. Therapy, medications, remove her from the temptation. But don’t turn your back on her now. I promise it will take her years to recover if she survives.
I wouldn’t kick her out. I’d talk to the other parents & see if we can come up with a solution. You need another parent from that group on your side and hopefully that parent can help with a plan.
Don’t kick her out, make her come straight home from school and take away privileges. I tried smoking when I was young and hated it even though my friends did it. I caught my kids smoking, 2 out of the 4 smoke to this day but when younger it wasnt under my roof. I love all my kids the same, there could be worse things at least they dont so drugs. I was a single parent, I must of done something right as they’re all married with kids and awesome parents
Wow slow down it’s your 14yr old daughter. Surely she deserves the help of the person who brought her into this harsh world. It’s all part of growing into a better person. I myself smoked and did drugs, however now I’m a responsible mother and wife with a good job. Teach her dont push her further.
I wouldnt kick her out but id take her whole life/privacy away an she doesnt hang out with those “friends” anymore…an id have an honest talk about where those friends may end up…(jail or a body bag) even tho she more than likely wont listen or believe it…
It’s a rough age to get thru. It’s. very hard for parents from age 13 to about 17. That’s why your hair goes grey. If you can sit with your daughter tell her you love her. She will have to accept the consequences for all actions good and bad and that you will always be there for her.
Well… I threw my son out… Breaks my heart but the disrespect was unbearable. It was years I put up with it. He’s been out since last Dec. He is 20. I love him very much but couldn’t take it anymore!
Bro u dont disown yr damn kid, ya take the ciggs. Ground her and take her privileges away!! Be a damn mom not her roommate!! She will alwsys want to try new things and discover who she is… Of course she’s going to make some bad decisions, where u perfect? Be a guiding figure and help her instead of being her enemy… that’s your baby…
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She will end up being sex trafficked. Take away all devices you pay for and any money you give her. Talk to her friends parents and let them know what your expectations are when she is in their homes. Other parents will allow it.
Spend as much time as a family together as you can. Get her counseling. Most of all, tell her you love her every day.
First of all, you are the parent so you set the rules. Re-examine who her “friends” are and who you’re allowing her to hang out with. Peer pressure is tough in the teen years. It may be a good idea to get her into some counseling and also into some sports/extracurricular activities so she’s spending her time in a positive environment.
Don’t give up on your child- she needs you. If you kick her out then her life is going to go down the gutter, and she will make even more bad choices.
Monitor her activity. Set rules. Drug test her. Set consequences. Get her help. Guide her. Be a parent!!
You still have to parent her. You can’t just toss her out into the world and say figure it out. She is a child, barley a teen. I have a 15yr old son, that has given me all kinds of hell. But tossing him out is not an option. Its my job to do the best I can to guide him in the right direction, which is exhausting. But I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night not knowing what my child is doing or who they are with.
Stop giving her money.
Stop letting her go with her friends.
Ground her. Chores and extra homework at home.
Take away social media access at home.
You’re the adult. Not her.
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Kicking her out may just lead to worse situations, and the way the world is today protect your child, yes smoking is bad but you put her out she has chances of being taken away and much worse… Punish her, take phones, do not allow her to go places, find sorts of programs, let her see what addiction really looks like, make her too scared to put things like that into her body… It took my mom almost dying for me to know how dangerous they are… She was in the floor gasping for air because she smoked for so long and she smoked a lot… Most teens will start smoking because it makes them look “cool” however it’s not cool at all and the friends you have are most likely gonna get you into one hell of a bad life. I was always told it may make you feel cool but you’re only hurting yourself in the long run…
Show her a triple heart by pass operation… she will soon change her mind.
Reality verses stories of what could happen, how u look, smell etc doesnt work. She wants to be like pals and knows best and thats a hard one to overcome.
But showing how smoking affects yr body, what operation she might need if her lungs fail and how her body will then look puts a whole different spin on it.
Kicking her out is not the answer. Sign her up for volunteer work at a cancer ward. Watching my grandmother die of lung cancer made me quit very quickly. She’s 14, keep at home but tighten the reigns up. You need to be a parent. Stop letting her go out and take away her phone/computer. I think you both need therapy.
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Everything she has is a privilege. Take everything away until she toes the line. Also this might be a bit extreme but you could always by her a pack of cigs and then make her smoke the whole pack in one sitting. After she finished feeling like death, she may never pick up another pack again. 
like I said the last suggestion is kinda extreme but could be worthwhile but I stand by my first two sentences.
It’s not the end of the world. Focus on what choices you do have control over. And emphasize to her that her choices matter. Definitely don’t kick her out. Grounding does work. I turned into a terror at that age too. Try to connect with your child in ways she relates to and keep communication open.
Take away things that are privileges like phones and tv and computers except for school work. Be a mom not a friend she’s only 14. Call police department and ask about programs they have to redirect kids
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Your child is crying out for help in the most severe of ways. Please, whatever you do, don’t abandon her. If anything, show her love like you never have before. Love on your baby girl. If you have to take things away (phone, allowance, computer, etc) than go right ahead, but love her more than ever & do not throw her out. Best of luck 
Do not give up on your daughter! I have raised 5 kids an have 2 left at home for a total of 7 teenagers will push every boundary possible! I know it’s hard an mentally frustrating among many other things! Consistency is the key momma, youth at risk is a program or family youth an links as well, message me anytime if you need to talk no judgement every child is different
You definitely can’t kick her out she’s a child. Tough love time . You gotta let her know your the parent not her. You definitely can’t stop her from smoking or doing other things but you surely can tighten that leash. Sweetie got to much freedom n a good life . You gotta be there n support her when her decisions don’t work n she needs you. Talk to her and guide her. Never give up . 
Never throw her out there to the streets! Most of us went through the drug stage. It will be a BIG mistake putting her out!! Too dangerous, plus most likely it’s a phase!!!
By telling her to pack her bags ur, telling her u give up. Which means u give up on her.
If her friends are that big of an influence, take her friends out of the equation. Get her involved with a different group. She probably feels like they are the only ones that understand her, that why she is doing what they do… to feel excepted and wanted.
Try to have a conversation about how she feels and why she feels she needs to smoke… with out getting angry, shouting or telling her she is wrong.
I hope this helps you and I will be praying for u both.
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Get away from these kids that are headed down the wrong path. Avoid pregnancy, always guys around. Hope she pulls herself out. Education is the keys to success. I will pray for her.
My dad told me to pack my bags at that age. Then was confused when I told him I wasn’t moving back with him. Its been 10 years or so since then I still haven’t really forgave him for it. Kick her ass in gear and restrict everything if need be. No phone, no data or wifi. Make sure she has a strict routine, appropriate chores to do, take her in to talk to someone about it all. Might do you some good too, help guide you to handling things a way everyone benefits. And maybe make her do an essay and deep research on the subject. It’s a huge learning opportunity for the both of you. Could be a great way to get closer and on better terms with her.
Errrr Yes she is a child! Your child 14 “wow hell she is well old enough to be told if she smokes to go live somewhere els yes should know all the rules you make by now!!! the unconditional love and support from her mummy stops is with drawn and she is to leave her home! The one place in this whole totally unstable world where she should feel totally excepted and Safe. And above all loved. Really! Your encouragement against the drug use could of been your weapon of preference. Then at you chats together with informative information. You could of encouraged the maybe giving up smoking. Don’t look back and be sorry. At 14 she is a child trying to find her place and needs guidance from you to do that.
I actually found ways to keep her busy. I made her volunteer at the Y and work with kids. There is the food bank, homeless shelter…help the elderly with chores and yard work. It will require your diligence and she will be angry at first however…mine enjoyed and appreciated it in the end.
I dont know what advice to give here. But kicking your children out is never the right answer . She is going through some shit and you need patience and understanding and she needs to understand the risks , #1 risk of doing drugs with anyone is death so many kids are killed by fetanyl < probably not the correct spelling but basically the tiniest amount can kill your child and kids will never know when drugs are laced period end of story. She needs to talk to a therapist so do you.
When my daughter did this I just kept telling her how disappointed I was and how much she stinks from smoke. I took her phone and would not let her hang out with her friends that I felt were bad influencing her. It was tough. She wanted to move out but I punished her more by making her stay. Plus made her look at discussing pics of tong and gum disease.
At the end of the day ur her mother, if u dont want her to smoke then she shouldn’t, dont give her any money till she can spend it responsibility, inform the school so they can work with u too, ground her for abit, least then u will know she’s home and safe, and maybe sit with her and help her get a hobby or something? 14 is far too young to smoke… and the drugs situation is far too dangerous, if these friends are in her classes at school I would let the teacher aware, maybe sit them apart? Ur her mum and she needs to respect that and do as her told… i get that teenagers aren’t perfect but smoking and drugs is a big deal x
Smoking and such normally happens for a reason and honestly if you dont take the time to actually let your kid express herself without fearing the consequences you will never truely know whats going on in her life.
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Of course you’re wrong, you can’t kick you child out because she’s making bad choices then what choice do you give her other than a life or crime?! Go to therapy, bot of you. How about caregiving for a cancer patient? Get creative, show her what her bad choice will result in.
I wouldn’t kick her out as I feel she needs u at this point! Take her cell internet no friends talk w her about the bad in smoking n how it’s not cool to do things just because others do them! Have the a cop talk w her! Kicking her out allows her to have full control when she shouldt as she is only 14 it’s dangerous and unsafe and it be one hell of a wound gotta let her know u are the parent not her
A difficult one. The problem you don’t want your child to start doing things behind your back. 14 Years ooooo🙈difficult years. But rather be a friend now to your daugter. You can’t make her stop and you can’t ground her or keep her away from her friends. She will rebel even more or run away. Sit down with her and talk. Telling her what choices she makes now will follow her the rest of her life. Being cool is being the one that can say no thank you. Then you say we’ll you all grown up so fast and clearly know what you want in life the smoking and all so you not giving her a phone as she can pay for her own phone because she can afford smokes. Also get your child in a church youth groop so she can be with other kids also that perhaps will have a better and positive influence on her.
Don’t give in. She’s a child. You fight for her but always let her know you love her and you care. She will rebel but the worst you can do is make her feel you’ve given up. Lots of prayers and counseling. I pray she changes and begins to change her ways
well you could make her smoke a pack. light one up after another. I smoked at that age and made the mistake of smoking 3 back to back. lord i was sick. never got over that feeling. Either way you can tell her she is only allowed to smoke at home in a designated area. For me I did it in the back yard after I was busted. Guilt trip was hard
Having friends that their parents did that to when they were acting out, seeing them 20 years later, I’d say it’s not a good idea to kick her out. You’re basically abandoning her when she clearly needs love and guidance. She’s 14, not 18, not 30 leeching off of you. She’s still a child. Rethink your choice here cuz this will have a long lasting impact on your relationship with her and especially her life. So she disrespects you, so what? Toughen up. Lol this is just a phase. Wouldn’t you rather have her home where you can keep an eye on her and she trusts and confides in you instead of couch surfing at her friends’ houses??
I started smoking at 15yr. But none of my friends smoked, but our exchange student we had for 9 months did :/. But i wasn’t a bad kid and NEVER did drugs. There really wasnt any underlying reason that i started, other than our exchange student did. There wasnt anything that mom could have “talked” to me sbout that would have changed anything, because I “knew it all”. I am 59yr now and still smoke, but honestly don’t think mom could have done anything different. Note: i have 3 grown kids, none of them smoke.
100% wrong. You are the mother. Call your local police department ask to talk to the Chief. Explain to him you need his help with your daughter. Explain to him the path your daughter has chosen and her compete disrespect for you. He might just set up a meeting with your daughter and allow her to take a tour of the jail and see the inmates. This us the direction your daughter is headed if she doesn’t over dose on drugs. You brought her into this world it is your responsibility to get her in a program that she is answerable to a judge. She has to be respectful at home, go to school, keep up her grades, she is not allowed to hang with drug using friends, must earn the right to any social life. If she breaks these rules the judge can have the police pick her up…she will go to a juvenile facility. You have to get this situation under control…you don’t want to see your daughter on drugs.
Throwing her out is only forcing her into the life you so desperately want her away from. She needs you more than ever if that’s the path she did chose. She needs guidance and support from you, not criticism. Try a counselor, try anything you can. She’s only 14, she can’t rightfully refuse much anyways. You’re the parent, you control the home.
Yeah do not kick her out she’s only 14 there is other alternatives, there’s Boot Camp, there’s counseling, or just send her out on a farm somewhere with a relative who knows skies the limit with choices. Or volunteering always works. When I was 14 years old I did a lot of community service stuff and help out people .there’s tons of clubs like that and lotta resources also usually. resources you can go to your Town hall or what not or check with library they usually can help out with that sort of thing looking for The right community service etc. etc. etc.This basically it’s a way to well around your child and Integrate then in society.
I cant give you advice on your own kid at the end of the day thats your situation but ill tell you what i’d do if it was my daughter, yer i wouldn’t like it but would i kick her out, no, you don’t like her friends? I wouldn’t even try to stop her hanging round with them coz believe me all this is gonna do is drive a massive wedge between you and she’ll do everything behind your back and you won’t know what the hell is going on with her, the way i see it is i was no angel so im not expecting my daughter to be, she’ll make mistakes, she’ll do the wrong thing from time to time but 1 thing will remain constant, i will always be there for her, I’d rather my daughter do stuff and come and talk to me about it than going behind my back and putting herself in danger. A lot of you probably won’t agree with this, but when my daughter gets to that age, she can be in my house on the weekends with her friends, ill buy them some flavored ciders (with there parents consent) she can play music loud till 11 she can have a little drink and a smoke if thats what she does by that time, why am i gonna fight her for years when eventually she’ll do what she wants anyway 
id rather her be in my house safe and warm and having a laugh with friends than doing what i was doing at that age, give her some slack and be there for her x
As someone who has been that 14 year old, my advice to you is not to push your child away it only makes things worse. Make sure she knows you love her unconditionally and that you are there for her whenever she needs you. As a parent cut her off she wants to smoke she needs a job she wants to do drugs she needs a job don’t be the supplier of her money. Telling her she “can’t” is only going to drive her to do it more and possibly worse things.
You really told her to pack her bag? You know what you did there was just give her EXACTLY what she wanted right? What you really need to do is CRACK DOWN ON HER. Take ALL her shit away. Take everything out of her room. Leave her with nothing but a matress, blanket and pillow. No phone, no tablets, no tv. Take the door off and put her ass on LOCK DOWN. Dont let her leave the house except to go to SCHOOL AND BACK!!! You keep that up until she changes her ways and starts listening. You need to be STRICT momma!!! Be hrd on her. Show her TOUGH love. She will be piss to all hell at you for a while but she will get over it and ultimately come out as a better person for it. Dont give into her attitude and difficult ways. You stand our ground. That is your BABY!!! You need to ve there to teach her between right and wrong. You can’t just kick her out and abandon her like that.
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Looks up techniques online to help get her to understand the consequences of her actions!
An example: My friends mom had her take a few puffs then cough onto a white paper then showed her the damage she is doing to her lungs etc…
She opened up to you so that’s a real good thing. I grounded my kids for the behavior. Drugs and smokes aren’t hard to get a hold of. I found my boys b were talking through snap chat. They will give the stuff to you for free and when addicted then they start charging. You have four more years to kick her out until then you have to do this not so easy parenting gig. Since your paying for the phone put parental controls on it. You can even call the phone company to temp turn it off. Oh internet that don’t work without WiFi or a power cord. Oh you want to slam the door now you don’t have one.
Only a parent knows what is the best way to handle things. I would respect the trust she is giving you.
Please don’t kick her out. Teenage years are the hardest. Anyone who ever has raise a teenager (includes myself) it’s hard. My oldest when she was a teenager she just kept lying…I literally took everything out of her room except bed and clothes and she had to earn it all back. Hang in there momma
Don’t give her ur back in her time of need.just b patient n she will get it out of her system.i was a bad child too n I eventually got over it n I put my parents thru so much heartbreak .I regret it n I lived to make it up for them now
My daughter is this age. I could never kick her out no matter what she did. She is your child. You have a commitment and responsibility to raise her and not give up on her. I couldn’t live with myself if I would do such a thing. I really don’t understand parents like this at all
She can’t smoke in the house and she doesn’t receive any money from you so you’re not buying them for her but I wouldn’t have her pack her bags, make sure she knows it’s unacceptable no matter what and never anywhere near you!
I would never kick my 14 year old out. My daughter started hanging out with a girl that was bad news. I caught the friend on a video snorting her anti depressants and my daughter was snorting makeup. She lost all privileges and all she had was a book and a bed for a month. I told her I couldn’t stop her from talking to her at school but they would never hang out outside of school again. Then the girl got in trouble for vaping and texted my daughter to tell her and my daughter responded by saying why didn’t you say it was your sisters vape. That was it she was grounded again and that girl was blocked from her phone and all social media. They are no longer friends and my daughter realized I was correct that she wasn’t a good friend and my daughter was just trying to be “cool”. It’s time to discipline your child and set her straight before she continues down the wrong path. Kicking her out will only push her further down the wrong path.
Been there. It ain’t easy. I sent my kid to live with her dad on 2 separate occasions. First time was by her request. Second time I gave her the boot.(she was 15 the second time). She learned how good she has it here in a hurry. She smoked drank and was getting into drugs. Best advice I can give is pick your battles. My kid was back home again within 6 months. She still smoked, cigarettes n weed. But I’d rather have that than her out doing who knows what with who knows who. Raising kids is never easy. You know your daughter best. Do what u think is best.
You cant just send her away, she’s 14! Ground her, take her phone away and don’t give her extra money! Also you need to talk to a doctor, drug councilor or a therapist! Don’t lose hope, you can turn this around! It sounds like she needs new friends!
I understand that you are afraid she will start doing drugs because her friends do. And that is the big issue. You can make sure she doesn’t hang around with these people. I don’t know what intervention will work. She will say she hates you, that you have ruined her life. But stay firm even if it takes constant supervision, no cell, no computer, home immediately after school. Focus on drug use not tobacco use.
Sometimes being on the road isn’t the greatest support and help needed. It’s hard for a parent to see their kids do these things and not listen. Life can be a great lesson but it’s always better to have someone who cares in it than not. Hope it all works out for you 
You don’t put your minor children out of the home with nowhere to go. If you send her with dad or a relative that may be able to help, that’s different but tossing a kid into the streets is considered neglect and is illegal. With that being said, there is no clear cut answer on how to deal with this. Every situation is unique. We don’t know why she’s doing what she’s doing. You may not either. I won’t mom shame you as I have a difficult child myself. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not always on the parents. You can do everything right and if they want to do wrong, they will find a way. I would try counseling. Maybe there is more going on than meets the eye. The teenage years are rough without these kinds of issues. And it may help if you had someone to talk to about this. It’s not easy. No shame or judgment here, but don’t put your child out. Not just because it’s illegal and immoral to do so, but you will regret it and will cause her harm.
As the once 14 yo who did stupid shit with my friends kicking her out is not the best idea it’ll only push her further into the stupidity. What she needs is an eye opener to what that lifestyle leads to. I can’t say much on the smoking part as I started at 16 and now use it for medical purposes. But the drugs her friends are using could be extremely dangerous. And until she is affected by it herself she’s not going to believe anything you tell her. If it were me I’d take her to a rehab facility. Not to be a patient there but to show her what the effects of drugs do in the long run. An officer isn’t going to scare her unless she gets herself in trouble. She needs to witness firsthand what happens to drug abusers.
Also if she still intends on doing these things you can always tell her her safe place is at home. It’s what my mom did. She told me if I was going to try anything or if I was interested in trying something i.e. drugs or drinking alcohol my mom told me she would get it and I could do it at home where I was safe and she could keep an eye on me in case something went wrong. And I think because of that I didn’t feel the need or want to try anything. It lost its appeal. But I have been smoking since I was 16 and the first time I tried it was with my mom about 6 months or so after my brother died.
Teenagers suck. You guys will get through this. I kicked my 15 year old son out. He was glad to leave at the moment of our heat. He walked 12 miles to my moms and spent a few days there. He and I both needed to be away from each other at that time. When he was ready to come back home we had new boundaries and rules set in place. We still battle and don’t see eye to eye but that wake up call of not having home made a difference. Everyone here is saying you’re wrong but I am assuming there is more to it then just smoking. Teens are ass hats and being the parent is a very hard job. Sometimes as a parent we feel defeated and give up but we always bounce back and take care of our kids. Hang in there
To many kids, making “adult” decisions here. Trust me , i was a mom at 13.
Meanest girl ever walked!!
3 successful out of 3 children later… ive been thru it all… be the mom. Not because your mad. But because her choices prove her self decisions, Are Not In her , Or her friends, best interests either!
Period.
Its your job to care for and decide whats best for her. 1st is start doing new things that get u Both into new circles!! Pronto. Dont just send her to do better! Go with her and find New Adventures!
Kicking her out is just going to make her rebel even more. If she smokes she has to pay for cigarettes. She will soon be bored. £10 for a pack… tell her I’d that’s what she wants for her body fine. But you’re not funding it. Random drug test. But mainly talk to her and keep talking. Let her know it upsets you. But be there for her x
I put my parents through absolute hell and back again a thousand times between the ages of 12-17, doing a lot worse than having a smart mouth and smoking cigarettes and they never once turned their back on me. I’m a great adult now with incredible kids of my own and that’s only because my parents never stopped helping me get my shit together. I was a child, your daughter is a child, knock your shit off and go help her!
I think there needs to be a serious conversation with your daughter. Kicking her out over cigarettes feels excessive. Maybe look into local programs that show the effects of long term smoking/drug usage so she has an understanding from professionals? Talk to her doctor, set up an appointment for family counseling so the lines of communication are open. If you kick her out at 14, that’s a crime in different areas of the world, and is a major disservice to your child. I hope that you’re able to get this sorted, but please, from a child of a neglectful father, never kick out your daughter or shut her out - it will do far more harm than good in the long run.
YOU are the adult/mom. Ground her, take her phone away. Hell, take her bedroom door off the hinges. None of that work? Send her to a reform school. Or do one of those programs like “Scared Straight”.
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I started smoking at her age and it was something I grew out of. She’s obviously looking for an outlet. Try being an aly. Make her feel like you’re here for her and want to help her. Try and help her understand just how bad what she’s doing is. Show her what mouth cancer looks like and what it’s like for people who have to have part of their throats removed bc of smoking. It’s a hard habit to break (I didn’t stop until I found out I was pregnant and I still struggle with it after quitting a year ago). If anything she needs you to have her back and new friends.
I would consider therapy. She’s acting out and likely due to underlying reasons she doesn’t want to discuss with you.
You can’t kick out a 14 year old!
She’s 14! She should go to school and comes home. That’s it!
If she can’t do that then she could be put on youth a risk and you can get the courts to make her or she’ll go to a juvenile detention center.
Shes 14. You are the mother. It sounds like she needs to be taken away from her friends. Force her to go to church youth groups and maybe she will get something good out of it. Even just better friends. If shes already addicted you will have to slowly win her down to make it not so terrible on her body. But if you dont save her now she will never be saved.
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At 14 kicking her out is child abuse in my opinion. As a foster mom and a mother of an adopted child there are many ways to handle this. Are you are smoker? If so be an example and quit yourself, don’t leave butts around for her to relight. Take away internet service to the house and cell phones. If your a non smoker you would be able to tell no matter how much perfume and tooth paste. Call the other parents let them know their children are smoking as well. Bottom line put in more effort than emotion in this situation.
Yes you’re wrong you can’t tell you’re daughter to leave you could be arrested I went through the same situation and I had no choice but to show tough love it hurt me so much but my daughter was is my everything so the last alternative after her getting in trouble for breaking into a car her friend left her alone and ran so bootcamp
If you kick her out then she’ll definitely send to drugs and her friends… I was a bad addict for many many years so I’m speaking this from experience. If you turn your back on her then it’s going to cause her more grief and she’s going to do even more daring things. Get her into counseling or into some better extracurricular activities. Maybe a move for the whole family to a different area where there’s less drugs is a good option as well.
THERAPY THERAPY THERAPY:bangbang:If she’s acting up and rebelling there IS a reason for it don’t scream out in anger if you can’t hear what she’s telling you.
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Make her sit down and watch cancer videos. Videos of people overdosing. Videos of little girls getting trafficked. Videos that are hard for anyone to see. Videos that will make her think twice about doing anything that’s a stupid decision. Make sure they are the most terrifying videos you can find. Make her watch them all in one sitting. Scare the shit out of her. Let her know what life will be like if she continues the path she has chosen to take. She has to understand the consequences of her actions.
I would take her to the cancer hospital and show her what smoking can lead too, but there is also another trick that usually works I would make her smoke a whole pack back to back, will cause an upset stomach, and vomiting, just dont get menthol because that will lead to nicotine poisoning after about 5 of them
I smoked cigarettes for a couple years when I was underage. Could be something she will grow out of. Being so hard on her as to kick her out, I hope you never want a good relationship with her again. If you want her to feel comfortable with you, you need to let her express herself a little. Sounds like you are just pushing her into her friends.
Imagine kicking your 14 year old child out because she has started smoking… You want respect… I promise you won’t get any pulling that nasty move on your kid! Send her to the streets… where she’ll probably end up hooked on alot more than nicotine. She’s more than likely testing boundaries, stick to your guns, no smoking in your house, no pocket money, grounding or whatever but don’t throw her out!
Speaking from experience dont kick her out she will turn against you…and find someone else who may be bad for them… leads them to further bad things…just ground her dont let her out to smoke. My mum made me smoke 20 cigs in front of her then battered me then kicked me out…I ended up in a hostel and in with bad ppl…as o thought they were freinds when realy they wernt x
She’s 14. Don’t kick her out! Ever heard of sex trafficking? She’d be a target! Pick your battles… But stand firm on your rules. There needs to be consequences… Take her phone… Revoke her allowance… but do keep in mind that ALL kids go through a rebellion.
I started smoking at 14… My very strict mom caught me one day but she just looked at me and walked away. I was so confused at her reaction… my mom did tell me about smoking is bad for me etc but she told me if I ever did drugs I’m dead. That stuck with me! So my friends were doing drugs but I didn’t touch it cause I knew my mom wud b disappointed so I c even with my teenager and toddlers sometimes they crying out for luv from us that they themselves don’t know… Don’t throw her out she will end up worse… Try to talk to her calmly… Don’t show her ur angry rather that u luv her and want what’s best for her
Keep at home, ground her do not let her see her friends. She’s 14, not 16 not 17 not 18. fourteen, a baby. She needs guidance and discipline. Be consistent, its better to be a tough mom rn then her friend. Speaking on behalf of a child who’s mom was her BF and I loved my mom more then anything but she coddled me instead of discipline.
I smoked really young and experimented with drugs but turned out fine. I never did anything terrible, I was just really unhappy as a teen and very insecure. What she needs is hugs, love, and understanding. Maybe a counsellor to help you both get through this. Lots of love to you
14 seems to be the bad age for girls, that’s when mine started, her dad kicked her out, cause she lived with him, and she ended up pregnant at 16, didn’t have custody of her daughter til she was 21 and had 2 other kids by then. Kicking your daughter out won’t win a good relationship with her either.
I have a 14 year old daughter and sometimes as much as you try they will still try you. You can never let them lose sight of who is in charge. No matter how close we are she knows I’m the mom. Stay in that butt because these are the years she needs you the most. Its not easy raising kids but the reward is in the end. I always say I will never give up on them.
Kick her out for her to go where exactly ? to stay round the friends that shes doing drugs with ?to end up sleeping rough? To end up doing things so she can get.money and somewhere to stay? To end up in care? Shes 14 you still have time to rein her in. Step up as a parent and turn her life around!!! Kicking her out will make it worse for her and she will turn to these “friends” more just to spite you. You are the parent sort it out!!! You need to stand your ground and stay strong shes 14 shes testing the water shes now got peer pressure shes seeing how far she can push you before you break. But do not kick her out just parent her. Good luck !
If she thinks she can make her own choices don’t give her a penny don’t wash her clothes or make her food she’s old enough to do it herself but don’t tell her to leave you causing more problems in a teenage mind
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She’s the child your the adult… never forget that… do what you gotta do, ground her, take away her phone, freedom, designer clothing, privacy … I’ve never threatened eviction but if they wanna act like a criminal I’ll treat them like one… orange scrubs, asking permission to come in and out of rooms, removed the bedroom door, give them 3 square meals a day… our bare minimum job it food, clothing, shelter, and a right to an education… all the rest is out of love and luxury… now only when you child refuses to follow the rules and acts a fool do I pull this out… I also have them write essays on the behavior and feeling behind them… and I keep them to show them when their kids act up 
good luck momma you got this… ( I’m a mother of 4 with the 5th one on the way) I went from a rookie parent to expert mode within a year as we adopted our nephew and niece 4 years ago lol