My 15-year-old got upset we do not have money for his allowance: Advice?

He needs a big time reality check and learning to be grateful. I don’t know how he ended up with you, but he should be grateful for all you have given him, as should all your children. Chores are a part of being a member of a household. Allowance is a bonus for going above and beyond but not a guarantee just because you’re a kid living in the house. I’ve never given my kids an allowance and they are all extremely self motivated and responsible with money when they want to earn for something.

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I’d let him know that $80 doesn’t begin to pay the cost you oncurr on his behalf. As if he’d prefer you cut off his play station? Affirm that untill you are employed, nobody get’s allowance.

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So tell him his Playstation subscription can get canceled.

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Why it matter if his is bio or not?? If u raised him for 13yrs he is your kid. N kids these days are killing me we owe them :laughing::rofl: I don’t nor will I ever pay an allowance they better get a job. I pay phone bills internet etc that all allowance cause all I gotta do is feed you n keep a roof over ya head while all u do is clean up behind yourself n go to school. My 22 and 19 are back home n happy to do chores cause it beats fending for themselves here they have to work and save half there paycheck or get out I don’t charge them rent but expect responsibility and respect

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Tell him that money is to buy CLOTHES for him and food just bear with them cause they need that money to help them pay bills so he can have a ROOF over his head

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Make him a list of what exactly you pay then you give him the money and you make him pay you back he will find out exactly where his money goes if he doesn’t want the Playstation subscription he can cancel it and keep the money it’s reality rent food electricity is not cheap and gas to run you around

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I say that there are plenty of jobs out there and take the job, if you work you get paid if they work they should get paid Everyone works together people are lazy these days seems like the kids are working

Have you looked into assistance for the house hold like food stamps and cash assistance? I know some people think that do not want hand out and think this is that! I on the other hand have used food stamps when I did not have much or no income and it is nothing to ashamed about! This would take some burden off your shoulders and them you maybe able to give the kids in the house some money for chores!

Give him the $80, let him use it for whatever he chooses, and when it runs out, he no longer gets that subscription, rides or “play dates”. See how he likes that and show him exactly how far that money does go…

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And this is what is the problem in today’s society

Well he can get a job if he wants more money.

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15 is old enough to get a job I worked every farm around when I was 15 and now McDonald’s and all the fast food places hire at that age every farmer around us have all kinds of work but can’t find any kids that will work

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Haha kids have no idea what it’s like in the real world. Technically it’s not free of charge. Persobally i would take everything you bought him away. If he throughs a fit you can tell him you paid for it all and if he’s gonna be ungrateful he doesn’t need it.

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Ya’ll should quit spoiling your frigg’n kids!

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If you can’t afford it. Don’t give them allowance. Kids can do chores without allowance.

Kids these days have no clue about struggle. We did chores never got paid. I was never given money from my parents when I was 10, my parents told me they would not buy my school clothes or supplies, I would have to do it my self or do without. I worked for my dad’s farm boss $10 a week to feed calves or run the auger. By end of summer I had enough to buy school clothes and supplies. Been working ever since.

I have four kids. 7, 13, 18, 21. None get an allowance. They get paid, for jobs, mowing yards, babysitting. Etc. My two oldest work jobs and started working paycheck jobs at fast food at 15. They mowed grass by 8 yrs old. My seven yr old mows grass.

They don’t wake up at 18 and know how to do things

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Well technically he’s entitled to the $80 it’s given to you for him therefore you should give it to him. It’s not his fault that you and your husband are unemployed if it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t even be receiving the $80. Now I think all work is slavery even if you’re getting paid lol but you shouldn’t have to pay him for his chores

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Ditch him for the weekend or day make him wake up and everyone’s gone. Turn the power off at the main house switch before you’s leave :joy:

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This is one of those posts that just seem fake

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He’s 15 tell him to get a job and be grateful for what he gets

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Tell him to get a job that’s what my mama told me and we had to coook clean do Landry cut grass rake leaves garages out and we didn’t get no allowance Are allowance was the live there.

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Don’t worry about it. He needs food on the table. Your his legal guardian but the parent should pay you as well not all going to him. He’s 15 he should understand.

Charging your kid for gas money… that’s sad

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i agree with a lot of the comments here, re 15 y o and able to get a part time job, i did , and my whanau when we were younger delivered papers and pamphlets for extra money…, too young and immature to know adults stresses and choices, decisions that have to be made unfortunately , some way to be educated about the real life situation you are in without burdening him, i wish you all the best

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If I’d raised him since he was 18 mo old, he would be MY son. Even if birth father helped with finances. He would not be singled out about money or food or games or…etc. In fact if I only raised him for 7 years I would consider him my son.

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Sounds like ducking Cinderella over there. I feel so sorry for your NON BIOLOGICAL CHILD. You’ve had him his whole life and it’s so obvious you treat him differently than your own crotch demons. He’s 15 years old ! You make him pay for his own hygiene products ? Wow. Do you make your own crotch demons pay for soap , tooth paste , shampoo. All stuff that can be gotten in the dollar tree. Gas :joy::joy::joy: I don’t care if gas is 19.99 a gallon. I’m not charging my own NON BIOLOGICAL CHILD gas money or any child for that matter. They aren’t even allowed to drive yet. Are you going to kick him out when he’s 18 too ? Sorry not sorry Karen. Ya’ll are going to hate me for this one and I don’t care. My daughter is 14 & has iPhone that I pay for. She doesn’t do chores either. But I will tell you what. She’s a straight A student , a freshman in high school. Taking college classes. She’s also in the art & fashion institute. She never talks back , and will get up and help me with something in a heart heart. Oh ma you need the laundry I’ll help you. Let me guess y’all are Biden supporters too :rofl::rofl:

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First of all he should not be separated from the rest of your children, if you can’t afford the allowance that goes for everyone. The extra that he gets , just give to him, let himas a teenager use how he wants, but as a family member he suffers like us all

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Say no, as you already explained. Tough love is what it is called.

Give him a lesson in child support it’s to support them like food,clothing,roof over there head including utilities not Playstation subscriptions . Cancel the subscriptions.tell him he owes you an allowance cooking meals ect.

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He should be treated like one of ur own children. What ever they get so should he. As far as the child support the eighty dollars a month doesn’t even cover the food he eats. Child support is to cover clothes, essentials, shoes, put a roof over his head, food ect. Eighty a month does not cover all that. As long as the other kids are not getting an allowance he shouldn’t either. You can explain right now there just isn’t any extra money. If he wants money right now he needs to get a part time job for spending money. He can get a job at fast food, a car wash, bagger at a grocery store, mow lawns etc. Tell him it’s only temporary until you get back to work.

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When I was about 6 I wanted a new bike. My mom sat down with me and showed me how much she made and my dad made and how much the bills and groceries and gas for them to get them to and from work and how much was left. Let me tell you, even as a 6 year old I realized it wasn’t much. Mom said if I wanted the new RED bike (literally the only thing different than the one I had) I needed to figure out what we could save money on. Well there wasn’t much to cut back.
Teens are hard at best…. Tell him he can have the $15 but you are canceling his PlayStation subscription and you won’t be driving him anyplace because gas is expensive. Let him pick

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Sounds like everyone that lives in the house needs a job. :woman_shrugging:

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Most of the people on here need to re-read “mom” post again slower!

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We tried the allowance thing when the kids were small and then that flew out the window. They live there they use the electric and water they eat off the dishes and all while not understanding the value of what it is we do and what they will have to do when they grow up. Teach them young so they dont EXPECT something for the things that HAVE to get done regardless. Make them do dishes and laundry sweep and take out the trash. Lets face it most of us cant afford a maid and neither will they🤷‍♀️

this has got to b a joke

Wait, so you give to 3 of the 4 kids you’re raising? Charging him gas money? Wow…
Don’t take him in and treat him differently. You’re not doing HIM a favor, you’re doing his parents a favor! If you can’t afford it, then cut everyone down to $10 a week.

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Get a job is how i got allowance.

Omg that is so sad you giving your bio. Children an allowance and not your 15 yrs old WTFROGS is wrong with you!!! SMH

So… I am the mother who posted this.
The women in this comment section who are reaching is way crazy. While I have no need to defend myself, let me say a few things.
This child DOES NOT get treated any different than my other kids. As a matter of fact, I have only birthed 1 of my 3 kids. Which means two of them do not belong to me biologically. That’s our truth. And extremely relevant.
I was paying $180 a month between my 3 children. And none of his allowance was taken from child support. My husband is on state disability due to having surgery June 1st. My contract ended and I am looking for work. So we have income to survive. Just not enough to pay their allowance.
There is a big reason why I use his child support for gas… He doesn’t want to ride public transportation. If I am taking him across town and I need gas in my car, I will put 10/15 bucks in my tank. Considering I have to pick him up as well and I live in California where gas prices are insane. I gave him the choice between a bus pass or my car. He chose my car.
Next, the CS I get for him IS NOT his money. It is money we receive to HELP support him. Granted, child support hasn’t been there the last 15 years. That’s new. We supported him WITHOUT any help. Why? Because he is OUR son. So where anyone gets he is expected to live on $80 bucks a month is fucking crazy.
Also, the list I gave was very small compared to all the different things that $80 buys on a month to month basis. Sometimes it makes up money for bills, buys shoes, cologne, games, food, P.E clothes that he has misplaced 8 times this year … So much other shit. And not just his NEEDS but stuff he WANTS.
Based on these comments, I have read my child some of the shit you women have commented and he says “how can they even talk about something they know nothing about? I was just mad. These people don’t know anything”
We have NEVER held over his head that we aren’t his biological parents. His biological father even asked him to come live with him and he said no. He was happy with us.
Btw NONE of the kids are getting allowances and as soon as we start working again, all three of them will start receiving it again. I will not respond to anyone anymore. Feel free to bash me, say what you want, and look like terrible people. I know how I feel about my kid, I know how my kid feels about me, and I know what kind of person and mother I am. I don’t need anyone to tell me different.

Here’s your advise!!!

First of all at the opening of your story, made me say WoW. Right there up front you screwed up.
“My 15 year old does not belong to me or my husband…”
Right there you punched him in the gut. He doesn’t BELONG to us.
Are you treating him differently than your kids that “BELONG” to you? I have a sneaking hunch you do.
His fit about the allowance is childish ,yes but did you bother to explain the financial worries?
I also find that he has to buy his own hygiene products, gas to go to friends house is BS. the play station subscription ok I agree maybe he pay for that. Let me ask you Do you buy your bio kids soap & deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo?? Or do they need to budget there money as well.
I feel badly for this 15 year old kid who you are raising but Not Loving, Not embracing him into your family.
You and your husband Do Not Deserve this child.

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FROM THE MOM WHO POSTED THIS…GFC…So… I am the mother who posted this.
The women in this comment section who are reaching is way crazy. While I have no need to defend myself, let me say a few things.
This child DOES NOT get treated any different than my other kids. As a matter of fact, I have only birthed 1 of my 3 kids. Which means two of them do not belong to me biologically. That’s our truth. And extremely relevant.
I was paying $180 a month between my 3 children. And none of his allowance was taken from child support. My husband is on state disability due to having surgery June 1st. My contract ended and I am looking for work. So we have income to survive. Just not enough to pay their allowance.
There is a big reason why I use his child support for gas… He doesn’t want to ride public transportation. If I am taking him across town and I need gas in my car, I will put 10/15 bucks in my tank. Considering I have to pick him up as well and I live in California where gas prices are insane. I gave him the choice between a bus pass or my car. He chose my car.
Next, the CS I get for him IS NOT his money. It is money we receive to HELP support him. Granted, child support hasn’t been there the last 15 years. That’s new. We supported him WITHOUT any help. Why? Because he is OUR son. So where anyone gets he is expected to live on $80 bucks a month is fucking crazy.
Also, the list I gave was very small compared to all the different things that $80 buys on a month to month basis. Sometimes it makes up money for bills, buys shoes, cologne, games, food, P.E clothes that he has misplaced 8 times this year … So much other shit. And not just his NEEDS but stuff he WANTS.
Based on these comments, I have read my child some of the shit you women have commented and he says “how can they even talk about something they know nothing about? I was just mad. These people don’t know anything”
We have NEVER held over his head that we aren’t his biological parents. His biological father even asked him to come live with him and he said no. He was happy with us.
Btw NONE of the kids are getting allowances and as soon as we start working again, all three of them will start receiving it again. I will not respond to anyone anymore. Feel free to bash me, say what you want, and look like terrible people. I know how I feel about my kid, I know how my kid feels about me, and I know what kind of person and mother I am. I don’t need anyone to tell me different.

Hey Sue she has 3 biological children and then this 15 year old that she’s raised since hes 18 months old. She gives her biological children allow and so not this one. He may be spoiled but she is wrong.

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Keep in mind everyone she might be getting food stamps for the 15 yrs old js

Sit him down and show him the facts of life.

You are not obligated to give him an allowance. Tell him that. Providing him with his clothes food and shelter is all you are required to provide. Explain that it is a privilege to have the things he does like his game subscription and any extras.

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I am gobsmacked at all the people saying he should be grateful for this person taking him FML

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You not being his biological parent is irrelevant!!! And too bad for him honestly you can’t do it!!! But throwing that in there has nada to do with it if you treat them all the same if your kids are not getting it nor is he !

I don’t give an allowance at all. My kids have set chores. We are a family. A family is a team. We all pull our part. When they fussed about not getting an allowance we posted a for rent sign on their bedroom door to prove a point. When we get them to do more than their chores then we pay them. Kids hear chores and think it’s a bad thing. I have explained to them that it’s just a part of life. They have to be done. So getting use to doing them and knowing how is important. Giving them more than their fair share is then a job and we pay them. And we don’t pay them a whole lot. Just depends on the job. If it’s a big job they get paid a little more. If it’s a family effort they don’t usually get paid. I will also add that they are 15, 14, and 5. The older two like to do things with friends. When we can afford it and they have had good behavior, grades, etc… We give them money to do so (within reason, not every single weekend and such) and don’t expect them to use the money they earn. We encourage them to save their money. Summer is nearly here. Encourage him to get a part time job for the summer. He’s old enough. Mine cut grass to earn extra money.

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Speak to his Dad that is not enough to raise him

He’s putting up a wall…just keep trying to gently (and slowly) remove the wall…patience is going to be your best friend in this situation…this is what it sounds like to me from what you’ve wrote. I have 19yrs experience, but I could be wrong. Just really depends on the family dynamics in the home. You always want to be at some level of solid ground and it sounds like there might be the need for a heart to heart when the time is right. Lead with your heart and the rest will find it’s way

Growing up i didn’t get a allowance. I got fed and clothed. If we wanted extra money we went and earned it . Plenty of things to do to earn it.

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You treat all the kids the same as you are all the kids legal guardian. If you can’t pay for him then, the other kids should miss out too. Maybe only charge $10 per child that way you have enough for him.

Honestly you are an A-hole for saying he misses out.

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Make him do all the chores by himself for a month :joy:

Go to court and get more like 80.00 a week.

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I was raised in a house where if we did all our chores and didn’t act like entitled jerks, we got to continue living there :joy: honestly you need to tell him to go find an after school/weekend job because he clearly needs to learn the value of a dollar. My parents made me get a job when I was 14 because they wanted to teach me the value of a dollar. They also made me put away some if my cheques that would go toward a car, or a trip I wanted. It taught me how to manage my money, and if I wanted to buy a new pair of pants or something, I would have to work X amount of hours to pay for it. If he keeps acting this way towards you, take that Playstation away until he smarten up and starts treating you with respect

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80 bucks doesn’t go far and once you’ve paid the items you pay i bet there isn’t any left. Break it down on paper for him and give him the option to get his allowance in place of the play station subscription. He lives in the house so he can contribute to chores or he can pay someone else to do the work from his allowance. He won’t like the outcome

I had to earn my own money at 15 started with a paper run then new world at 17 gta start somewhere :call_me_hand:

Ignore all the psychoanalysis. Not sure why people criticise posts rather than just answer the question…Maybe a slight over-explanation but that’s ok :wink: Haha the 15 yo is just trying to manipulate like they do. Mine started at 2! Lol. You can only afford what you can afford. Lay out his options and see what he’s happy to sacrifice. Otherwise is working age 14 and 9 mths still? Say go for it :sweat_smile: Some people have grown without any parental dependency. I’m sure he can do it too :heart:

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I honestly think some of these stories are made up for attention. :roll_eyes:

Ground him from getting an allowance for a year as punishment for being a brat

Do you let it stay in the house or do you you have a pen for it in the back yard.

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Dude. 95% of you commenting on this,
are obviously not quite as brushed up on your reading skills as you are on your “hella nosy, holier than thou, all up in someone else’s business, lacking empathy or any kind of understanding… Especially for people trying to raise or help raise other people, in particular, ones of the teenage kind”
lol.

I’m just going to throw this on out there for the hell of it.

I have a 17 year old daughter,
I AM MY KID’S BIOLOGICAL PARENT,
AND YES, SOMETIMES I have decided to charge for especially non essential Last minute travel specific to the temporary will of my oldest child. I think it’s just unfair how much I end up in the hole financially at times, and I DO tell her that I don’t have enough gas to Continually run her from one end of town to the other, or to the next county over. That shit gets taxing af and if you don’t understand what I’m talking about you have never yet been the parent of a full blown teenager, or you are very blessed to not have to stress over Financial matters, which is awesome for you if that be the case,
Just try to remember not everyone is as blessed as you must be…

There’s times I have had to make ends meet using the remnants of other old bottles of shampoo and conditioner, or laundry soap and dish soap, just to accommodate a weekend allowing her to bring over two of her tiny petite girlfriends over only to find the three of them thoughtlessly and aggressively eaten up and even wasted half of or at least a quarter of the months food supply for a family of five in two nights…

There’s times when I have been literally begged and pleaded with for the money to pay for things I know for a fact my kids didn’t need , and still refused to take no for the answer while relentlessly harassing me in public (knowing that they are being totally embarrassing) in order to try and get whatever they were wanting to get, for me to either watch it end up broken in the trash , or left without having been worn but once, or even completely forgotten about.

Some of those comments point out only how under qualified some of you really are* sitting there
Force feeding your opinions you’ve drawn up, based on concepts you have formed via those illiterate misreadings, about parenting, raising, or perfectly managing funds allocated specifically for someone else’s or EVEN ones own children.

They’re not cheap. That’s pretty much why the general consensus will remind everyone not to have them unless they are pretty sure financially it’s not an issue.

But guess what, even that certainty can change in a minute better believe that!!

Cause yeah. Right now my life is not what I’d like it to feel like, with all the cash I need even working two jobs. I have to budget things too.
I can’t imagine why you would think that one child would be getting treated differently than another just because the circumstances don’t necessarily apply to one , but it might to one or more of the others. Like for example;
I have enough money to get my teenager to necessary functions, pre-planned things, extracurricular activities etc… But when it comes down to being railroaded into hundreds of dollars worth of rides to and from places for kids to probably be taking bong rips or whatever teenager people think they’re doing anymore, yeah. I call it drawing the line, and it doesn’t apply to my seven year old. Because my seven year old does not bombard me for the same set of things that my teenager does .

I’m not looking forward to having to draw a line for her either when that day comes, but I do assume that I will not be able to just ignore it or not set similar or same rules.

She never mentioned the age of her other kids who are also not biologically her own
It doesn’t sound like abuse to me, it sounds more like she might have a variation of differently aged kids there.

Some of you are just super busy worried about what she wrote when half of you are probably laying on your beds, face in Facebook obviously while your kids are in your kitchen worrying about what to feed you before you start throwing up that fifth glass of weak ass white wine and telling everyone all kinds of mean spirited things .

Personally, you’re his guardian, I feel he should be treated like your other children and get an allowance if they do. Bump them down to 10 each if you have to, but if they get to hang with friends and have an allowance and whatever, this bonus child should too.

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I say send them out to do a shop let them see the value of money I mean a grocery shop with a list ye need to live on for the week and pay what ever bills you have to pay each week get l your receipts and then sit them all down and explain how much is left and keep some back in case of emergency then if you have any left over to give them do but if not you don’t he has clothes on his back food in his belly and a roof over his head and at 15 he should know better you spoiled them be firm

I don’t understand WHY you would charge YOUR CHILDREN gas money :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Why are you charging your kids for gas and why is this child not being treated like the others if you’ve raised him since he was a baby? :roll_eyes:

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Cancel the playstation subscription.

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Give him the $80.
But, take away the subscription, the hygiene products and the rides. Make him pay for his own cab fare and whatever else he thinks he needs. Chores covers his room and board.
#Economics101

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Give him his money and let him blow it so he’ll learn or let him go with someone who can take care of him better. He feeling like his needs not being met.

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Some of y’all clearly don’t have teenage boys. Do y’all realize how much those things eat?? I have two teenage boys and $80 MIGHT cover food for two days and that’s if I shop at Aldi :weary:

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Treat him the same as the other children. He is in your house living with you and you are raising him as if he is your child…treat him that way. What’s good for the rest should also be good for him. Singling him out like that will always make him the outsider.

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He’s old enough to get a job. Pay for his bus pass for him to get there and home. Bus pass would also work for him to get to school.

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Treat every child equally…
He has been in your care since tge age of 18 mths then he is yours…
Thats it…
Simple…

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If you’re his guardian, you should also be able to get relative care giver fund/ kinship care fund if he is blood related to you or your husband. If not, the state should still be paying a stipend. I’d look into that.

I’d just take away things that aren’t necessities. I have two of my nephews under my guardian ship. I treat them as I do my two biological children. Rules are rules and we are a family. If you’re not helping out, you don’t get the extra privileges, period. Everyone has to do their part. Mine are still relatively small, but we have started small chores like keeping their toys picked up and dirty clothes in the laundry basket.

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Sell him to the gypsies and be done with it . You obviously aren’t cut out to raise children .

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This is a hard one. Actually he brings in $80.00 a month. How much do the others bring in? The gas issue is puzzling me. So, does he also pay for the other’s gas? Teenagers are a breed all their own, you have to be patient with them and take what they say with a grain of salt. If you don’t have the money, they’ll get over it or not. But, don’t treat them like a burden. Teenagers are why God gave us the precious little babies to start with. That way we don’t do away with them!!!

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Once you’re both working again offer him allowance but cut any luxuries all of them have.

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Sounds like a spoiled brat to me…someone needs to go mow some neighbors lawns for some spending money.

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Maybe take him shopping for hygiene products and have him pay using part of that 80. Figure up with him how much it cost for gas to take him to certain places to hang out with friends. He has to pay you out of that 8p for it. You can use it as a way to teach him money management. When you grocery shop explain how expensive food is ect. It’ll give him an idea of how much is being spent where and it may help him understand the situation more and help him manage money.

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And if your not charging your kids gas money stop taking HIS money for gas!

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I had a job at14 and moved out when I was 16. Sounds like he’s lazy and paying for a PlayStation subscription is not a need, it’s a want. I’d remove that expense. Tell him to apply for a job. Do all your children a favor and teach them independence by making them get jobs, stop paying them for doing house chores. They are old enough to work outside of home and do house chores for free. It’s a daily necessity that has to be done, regardless of being paid.

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Sounds like he is a little spoiled and entitled tell him he still has to do chores cause who is gonna do his dishes clothes etc wjen he moves out part of the current generation of dudes entitlement issues explain u are training jim for adulthood

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How about he gets a part time job? He is old enough isn’t he? Just like 12-15 hrs a week. Have u showed him on paper where the money is going. All the money that is coming in? Kids really dint have a clue. The really do think it grows on trees.

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Child support. For the support of the child. That includes keeping a roof over his head, lights on, and food in his belly. And if that’s what it needs to do right now, then that’s what it needs to do. And doing chores is doing your part, as long as the same applies to all your kids and not just him.

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Hand the little sh!t the $80 and tell em he has to find for himself… the only thing you’ll be providing is a roof,bed,heat,food and tough love from here on out.

So you’ve taken a child in when they where 18 mths old . But by the sounds of it you treat this child like he is someone else’s child . Because you take money from the support for transport to places . Sorry but that’s ridiculous . Just because he not related by blood :drop_of_blood: doesn’t make him less yours . A parent is someone who is there for that child no matter what , keeps them safe etc . As a parent we do things for our children out of love ( taking them to after school sport , to the movies , shops , to see there friends) these things should be automatically not well you’ve got to pay me x to go here and there no . $80 is not much but what other assistance are you getting. That money should be used for school needs , shoes , clothing . I’m sorry you and your husband are both not working but you can change that . You know kids don’t like change in routine and being understanding and teaching them to be understanding of your struggles all you can do . Teach the 15 yr old the value of money . I don’t know what state you live in but here a 15 yr old can get part time work . If that’s not the case in your area maybe talk about earning money doing up notes offering car wash or lawn mowing for the 15 yr old to get $ for him to save

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none of the other kids have to pay for gas then he shouldn’t have to pay for gas either. if you are truly treating him as an equal to the other kids. but I already seen your comments so I can almost promise you that isn’t the case so just do whatever you are going to anyway but he has every right to feel different because you are treating him different I have bio and adopted and I’ve never charged one of them for gas in my life. that is insane they are kids but if I did I would charge them all.

LOL whats allowance?!

I do think that is entitled and over dramatic about the chores, because that is not slavery, however, in the way you speak of him…… i wonder if he even feels accepted. Have you even asked him his feelings? If you’ve raised the child since 18 months, you should be talking about and treating the child as if they were your own…… but you make a very distinct difference between him and your other kids.
Maybe that’s why he’s so adamant about getting $15 of the $80 from his bio dad.
And you can comment to backtrack and say “your son” but the fact you made that distinctness in the original post says a lot. Wasn’t really needed.
Also, pretty sad you charge him to drive him. That’s what a parent is supposed to do. A bus pass? He’s 15 and that’s so dangerous. Like come on.
No offense, but sounds like you’re lazy parenting.
It shouldn’t be a problem to take your SON PLACES. He deserves to have a life and spend time with his friends without having to pay gas to do so.
If you’re having to repeat yourself “so much in the comments” maybe stop getting defensive and take time to reflect on what advice people are giving you.
I also hope you help out with the chores, as kids aren’t born to do all the cleaning around the house. It’s not their responsibility.
Stop being defensive, reflect a little, humble yourself, and take the advice you’re given from me and all these other mamas that agree.
Good luck.

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Send him to his Father I’m guessing he will calling to come back rather quickly

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If he wants to pull that card I’d give him the $80. Oh you need something from the store? I need gas to get there. Shampoo, body wash, soap, etc. you’ve got it. Food detergent, toilet paper… Oh you’re broke and can’t pay for it all? Exactly. Feed, clothe, house. Best you can do and if he doesn’t like it or any of them of working age, they can get a job to pay for what they want. Just provide needs.

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My 15 year old that’s not mine but he has been with you most of his life so sad for him that you would even say that

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We all have to do without at some point in our lives. It’s a life lesson for sure. And as far as I know a 15 year old can get a job.

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I’d give him $15 and yes he is old enough to get a part time job. Then everything else will have to be local. Very tough financially for you all. I guess there are choices to be made and I’d really impress on him the part time job idea

That’s not nearly enough that is the problem

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I’d sit down with him and make a list of how much money it costs a month to have him there. Then compare it with how much you get from his father. That should shut him up. If your kids are not getting an allowance what makes him think he should at this time.

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My heart hurts for him. He has been with you since he was 18 months old. Isn’t he your son then? Allowance isn’t the main issue here. His adults have let him down. Where does he belong? $80 child support is not much. But how are you supporting the other three kids? Please get your act together. Be a good example for all of these kids you’re raising and gets jobs. You might have to work more than one job to make ends meet. It takes hard work by everyone to make a family unit. That means treating everyone the same biological or not. You signed up to be his parents. How would you feel if someone kept referring to you as “not their child”? You’re all he knows. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted unconditionally.
Our budget was very tight while we were raising our kids. My husband worked at least 48 hours a week and was a volunteer firefighter. I worked 2 jobs and volunteered at my kids schools. We gave our kids $20 a week for lunch money. They had a choice to keep the money and pack a lunch from home. If that wasn’t enough money then they had to find a way to earn money. Babysitting, mowing lawns or having a part time job. But school and grades were first. I wish we could have given them more but we just didn’t have the income. We made sure our kids had what they needed before ourselves. But most of all we gave and give them unconditional love and acceptance.
Best of luck and love to you and your family. :four_leaf_clover::pray::heart:

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I’m amazed that as adults thye Aren’t working with all these jobs every where !!! Every place is hiring … 80$ take his sorry ass dad back to court and where is moms child support for this poor baby I knw he isn’t a baby baby but he is a child tht has never had mom or dad obviously!!!bc it is said over and over I’m sure he hears it a lot too. Reevaluate urself and how ur Living period how he is treated so all the kids buy all their own personal hygiene I’ve never heard tht. U signed up to take care of this kid. Wht if he didn’t get the 80’woidl he have hygiene products? I’m amazed at all the things u said and really expect everyone or anyone to feel bad for ya. Bc ya are adults and ya aren’t doing wht ga suppose to do which is wrk and take care of ur families !! But ya want him to be an adult lol really look in the mirror first ya lead by example!!! I can see sometimes one person may fall short not working but ya both have no jobs. How long ya been jobless ?? I mean look at urselvs first

At 15 both my son & daughter had Saturday jobs

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Tell him to suck it up, soft arse