I drove my foster daughter ( who came to live with me when she was 3 yrs old) to school, her friends, activities etc from the first day she started to live with us until her very last day of school after graduation. Even when she moved out and needed a ride I would go pick her up and driver and friends to parties etc. My mom did that for me so why would I not do that for my child.
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I had to do chores all the time. Dinner on table every week note at 5pm. Took care of a baby. Picked up child every day after getting off school bus. Id say as long as you all are not working its everyones responsibility to do their part around the house without getting any money but i do say this. Dont know why neither you and hisband are not working but if its bc you both are lazy then the kid deserves his 15.00. If this is not the case and you both have real reasons not working but usually not the case bc one works when the other cant. Maybe thats why he wants paid bc he thinks youre both lazy and knows it ā¦idk. Too many gray areas here. If there is a teue legitimate reasons which is unlikely for both them the family must pull together to get through life at the time. Of course the money is for him ā¦his care food clothes and what this boy needs.
Do your kids have to pay forshampoo body wash and all the other stuff or did you just take him in for the money. If you have. Had since he was.18 mo. Old he should be your son. Not a money. Pit
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Heās been with you since he was a baby, he should be treated the same as your ābiologicalā children. If money is tight let them all get jobs to be responsible and have spending money, he shouldnāt be excluded
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The amount of grown ass adults on this thread who are raising the next generation of our society and havenāt mastered basic elementary reading comprehension is beyond terrifying. Those of you attacking this mother are either ignorant, azzholes, miserable, or all of the above. And since so many of you donāt seem to grasp reading comprehension, ignorant in this context means uneducated or lacking intelligence.
My brain never hurt so much.
If both parents are out of work NONE of the children get an allowance. Quite frankly, NONE of any of the money coming in, even that measly $80 a month that doesnāt even touch groceries for a 15 year old boy for a week, goes towards anyones wants. Also, heās 15 not 5. Itās time for him to get a job if there are things he WANTS that arenāt in the family budget. For those of you who donāt understand the original post, go ask your childās teacher for some material on reading comprehension 
Your opening statement says it all. You should allow him to find a family that cares about him.
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Lol doing chores is child slavery? No your teaching him how to live when he moves out as an adult teaching him that chores are apart of life most definitely isnāt illegalā¦ However I also wouldnāt charge my kids to take them too see there friends? Thatās a bit extreme heās 15 not 18 and shouldnt be charged and shouldnāt be buying his own personal hygiene stuffā¦ i believe you would get some sort of payment for him itās your job to supply it
The fact that you have had him since he was 18 months old and you took the time to explain that he isnāt your child biologically speaks volumes because that didnāt change the situation not one single bit! You could have even mentioned child support without mentioning he wasnāt your child biologically. I feel bad for this child. Give him a less amount maybe but donāt completely take the small thing he does have to look forward to. My daughters father pays me $51.45 a MONTH and I give it to her and she decides to use it to do her nails she looks forward to that sheās 16. Good luck.
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Dang $15 a week for an allowance?! No wonder heās spoiled. Thatās what it is. Heās spoiled. I donāt pay my kids to do chores. I teach them that itās important to take care of where you lay your head because some people donāt have that. Iād be taking away the PlayStation for one thing. He also need a crash lesson in gratitude. That boy has no idea what child slavery really is. SMH.
On another note; I agree with others who are saying that if youāve had him since he was 18 months old and heās not biologically yours, is heartbreaking. Makes me wonder more of the story.
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Tell him to call the police and see if they care, is my advice. I would have no time for his type of nonsense, and piont out to him that a different family may satisfy his his desires, if he believes he can find one, which I highly doubt, with his attitude. Just my opinion.
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Why are you accepting only $80/month in child support? Also making him pay for gas is a little much imo.
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This is why I donāt pay my kids to help clean the house they live in. Also he shouldnāt even know u get 80 a month if heās with u that long. U should use the money to help the family overall not say heās got 80 to live off for that month. Seems like u hold it over his head which is weird. Use ur 80 so I can gas up my car and drive u to ur friends? Odd.
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should be update on child support
I do feel as most of these comments are incredibly rude. Using child support is used to support the child in this case it is being used for that. She is not saying she is charging him but giving examples of what it is used for. It was also said that none of the children are getting allowance as they are out of work. This one child has chosen to have the biggest issue about it. The child knowing about the child support and not understanding where it is used or care is the issue. My advice as I dealt with this my kids never got allowance unless it was a chore above their requirement. It Iād a child frustrated and not handling it the correct way if he wants to give up Playstation maybe he could use that money for other things
Some of yāall need reading comprehension. The 15 year old is included in the kids who get an allowance. And is now upset and demanding money they donāt have. And how dare this woman use the measly 80 a month she gets to provide for him directly for his needs. If she had said she uses the 80 to pay household bills yāall would be mad demanding she give him that money.
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Child support is child support. He thinks itās his. It is also to pay for food for him.Good time to talk to all your kids about money.
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OP Iām sorry there seems to be a lack of reading comprehension here.
He is old enough to understand that the child support is to help with his basic needs, not luxuries like allowance. Explain he gets the online subscription already out of it and allows you to be able to take him extra places. His hygiene and basic needs though should be out of your pocket as his parents. He is old enough to have a job or at least to go do manual labor tasks for neighbors and earn money for fun spending.
Until he changes his attitude and learns that he isnāt the center of the universe, Iād personally take away the playstation and online subscription. There would be no cell phone, no gaming and no extra rides. This would apply to all children behaving that way.
Iām raising 4 and we regularly take electronics away for bad attitude and behavior. It wont kill them. But less electronics can actually rewire the brain and reset attitudes.
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Are any of the other kids upset about not getting allowance and being vocal? Have you considered giving him the option of allowance or PlayStation? Can he earn money doing odd jobs for neighbors or extended family? Do all the kids pay gas money for taking them places? Teens are hard, praying you find answers to bring peace to your home.
All kids should clean there rooms and help around the houseā¦and not be paid. If they help clean outside and do the lawn then they should get 10 dollars a week.and if you dont have the money to payā¦then u pay by giving them a family fun nightā¦watch a movie make some popcornā¦and for a extra treat let the child say up an hour longer or even an extra hour on the xbox. And this way it also teaches the child when times get hard u pull together as a familyā¦ have a bless day and good luck ā¦
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Guess how much my kids allowances has been (Iāve had 3 boys), $0.00. WHY? Because I pay for everythingā¦clothes, shoes, food, living expenses. So they earn their keep. End of story.
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Eeeeeww Donāt call him āyourā fifteen year old ! You arenāt treating him like the others !! Before he is older he needs a new home with someone who can treat him as theirs
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Itās a family unit and a family situation. Maybe try explaining to him again that youāre not working so thereās no income and the allowance is cut off until youāre back on your feet. He can throw a fit if he wants to. Whatever money is coming into that household at this point heās keeping a roof over his head and the power on and the Internet on so he can play his video games and have a roof over his head. Donāt let a child be in charge.ļæ¼
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ALLOWANCE!! Hahaha I tell our teens. An ALLOWANCE YUP I ALLOW YOU TO USE MY INTERNET, I ALLOW you to wash your body with my water, use our lights use our tv subscriptions. Why they need an allowance??? Yea if they do something outside their chores they get paid for it!!! Teach them responsibilities of how to earn money not just give or they will expect it like that all their life. Just my opinion!
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I would explain to them all that an allowance is a privilege not a rightā¦ things are tight right now and everyone has to make sacrificesā¦ and we all still need to help each other outā¦
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Further he eats food and has a roof over his head ā¦ so just tell him his allowance is going towards his home and foodā¦ so technically they are all getting paidā¦ they just have bills 
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Itās not illegal at all. I tell mine, you live here so you help take care of the place. Plain and simple. I couldnāt afford allowance with 4 kids, there was just no way
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Iām sorry for this comment in advance. If this child has been with you since he was 18 months old,then he should have been treated no different than your other children. Saying youāre just his guardian hurts me, Iām sure he feels that every day. Iām not trying to take away the fact that youāve raised him, but making him part of the family should have been the most important thing.
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Sounds like itās time for him to get a real job 
Make sure he still keeps up on his chores! No pay thoughā¦ adults donāt get paid to do their own dishes !
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Eh this is why you donāt pay your children to do chores. It gives them a lazy work ethic because they wonāt do anything unless theyāre getting paid for it. I think he needs a reality check. Heās trying o old to be throwing tantrums. So I would tell all your kids that it they want their allowance back, they must continue to do chores during this time. Otherwise itās not coming back ever and they can wait until they get a job if they want spending money
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Tell him heās doing chores ,PERIOD! U provide a roof over his head and food!!!
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Your kids donāt owe you anything. You brought them in this world when they didnāt ask it. Making him pay for all his own things isnāt right unless heās working for himself and paying for gas?? Thatās just wrong
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Our 16 year old grandson lives with us since birth,his Mom too. We used to pay him for chores,we stopped for he gets everything free from us,we.decided he can do a few chores to help us out at 70!
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I never paid allowance. I figured roof over their head food in their bellies clothes to wear and the things they needed bought taken care of that was good enough.
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Allowance he lives for free in your home.
What more does he need right now especially if out work. Maybe he is little selfish and needs to learn a good lesson. Get out get summer job !!!
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Wait til he starts paying taxes, or doesnāt get his ādesired payā.
Sounds like that boy needs a work permite start making money
I started babysitting at age 12 but had to turn my wages over to parents so we could eat, I had 6 younger siblings.
It hurts to see that you say he does not belong to you, you made that choice taking him in, that made him your son/family, do your other kids pay the expenses he does, itās not his fault your husband and you are out of work, we take children in to love them & make them feel accepted, not singled out in the family. Yes, he should have chores, but he should also get the same compensation your other children are.
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Give the child his child support Iām pretty sure if you have biological kids you donāt treat them the way you treat him.
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Give him a running bill of what you spend per month on house ,ultillites, gas and food then just on him minus the eighty dollar amount then hand him the bill say now start paying what was given to you from love cause now you want to be grown
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All the kids in your house should be treated equally. If one pays for something, then they all pay for something. If one gets allowance, then they all get allowance. Whatever you decide, decide it across the board for all the kids.
The āchild supportā can be used to help pay living expenses, electricity, groceries, clothes, etc. Not taken out of his āallowanceā.
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Make him get a real job. He will learn then.ļæ¼
Tell him to get a job at McDonaldās sounds like hes a spoiled brat time to work
You get what you give. You sound like you hold that 80 over his head. Buy his hygiene products and gas money out of it. If you have had him since he was 18 months old, how many times has he heard you only get 80 a month to take care of him?
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You took that child to raise as your own! Hes not āyoursā heās just a check for you and be lucky you even get that. Some states when you become someone guardian you assume ALL financial responsibility and donāt get anything. While not illegal he has a good reason to feel the way he does! You give your kids $135 a month for an allowance while you get $80 a month for him. How much do your kids have to give u for gas & there hygiene products? Playstation is not a need but I can see how he would want that so he donāt have to deal with you. Heād just asking to really be treated like you treat you own but in a way you donāt like.
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Tell him what you wrote!
Sounds like its time for a good dose of reality. Teach him about bills, budgets, and work ethics. Time for him to get a job so he understands the connection between all of those principles.
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I donāt remember what it was, but I got an allowance growing up. My daughters did as well. They did have chores to do around the house, but their allowance didnāt depend on their chores.
I never had an allowance growing up, my parents would randomly give me money but it was never a set amount or set day
When i turned 16 i got a job after school i paid for my gas, insurance on my car, any spending money when i went out for my class ring and senior pictures, cap and gown. But that was my choice. If you took on a child to raise as your own and have children of your own they should not be treated differently
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He shouldnāt even know how much you get a month for child support, thatās between you parents. But also it sounds like you need to teach him some basic responsibility and respect.
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My 2 cents, would you be upset if you were getting paid to do a job and then stopped getting paid but were still expeted to do said job? That is how he feels because you guys chose to give an allowance in the first place. If you arenāt paying the kids to do the chores then I wouldnāt expect them to continue to do them. If you and your husband arenāt working there should be plenty of help around the house. I have 5 kids, work part time and still do most of the chores because my kids have other things to focus on like school and being a kid. Donāt get me wrong if they cook they do the dishes, if they make a mess they are responsible for cleaning it but thatās it. Now if they do extra things like cleaning or babysitting I definitely pay them.
I guess my point is you kinda set it up that way. On another noteā¦the playstation subscription should have never been coming out of his child support money. Honestly with such a small amount it probably shojld have just been set aside in a bank account to help him later in life. I understand that times are hard but try to imagine how thatās going to work out for him as he enters adulthood. I canāt even imagine being a budding adult right now. I donāt know how they will ever be able to afford living on their own at this point.
Anyways, just my opinion on the matter.
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Take the allowance away you aināt doing nothing but teaching the kids that if they clean they get paid for it so when they grow up and have their own place theyāre not going to want to clean it and theyāre going to live a nastiness because theyāre not going to get paid for it they have to learn that if they want something nice and they have to do it yourself not depend on someone to pay him to do it
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Treat him like your biological childern
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He is 15 on the verge on becoming a man your job is to ensure his responsibility and preparation for independence. Your role is changing, continue to be his guidance and resource. Find a common ground to how he can self manage this monetary support responsibly along with family/homelife responsibilities
The fact that heās adopted and you feel the need to point that out and the child support while discussing AN ALLOWANCE tells me all i need to know about your character. What are you trying to get out of pointing that stuff out?
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If ALL your kids get $15 so should he
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Bring him to the family budget table. Show him each dollar you have coming in, and each dollar spent. Ask him who should be made to do without, in order for him to get what others do not.
At that age, kids need to be on the road to understanding the adult world of balancing needs with wants. Itās time you brought him (and any other kids around that age) into the deliberations.
Maybe it would also be time for you, or someone to suggest the time honored tradition of him starting to do odd jobs (cut grass, shovel walks, help with chores, etc) of others for pay. IOW making his own money to get him used to the idea of what that $15 entails in effort.
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Sit down with him and total up each of the expenses you pay for him: food, rent, utilities, etc., and what he gives in return to cover these.
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Alex Volpe it is important context on the reasoning there is child support. It specifically reads āmy 15 yr oldā which indicates she looks at him as her own. He is upset he is not getting a allowance and that he feels that he should get his allowance out of child support. I.e the reason to mention that as well. it should be used for what the law intended it to be used for. Assumptions isnāt a good look on you.
Iām not trying to be mean but having him since 18 months old would mean heās also your child just as your other 2 children and should be treated equally. If you canāt afford to give 1 of them allowance then why give the other 2? Iām actually a bit confused by what you wrote because you make it sound as if he isnāt part of your family just because heās not your biological son/child? Iām not saying thatās what you meant but the way you have written the post but it makes one wonder. But, all 3 should be out earning the money may it be cutting grass, cleaning a neighborās yard or helping a neighbor with housework or things they have difficulty doing. This will not only teach the meaning of earning money but also others life stories that will help humble a child and teach Empathy and understanding. I would hope that all of your children are treated equally because at 15 years old he sees he is being treated differently and that causes many issues with his self esteem including trust and honesty. Iām sorry but having a child in your home since they were 18 months old and now 15 years old has made that child your his mom and not treating him as equal as your other 2 hurts him for the rest of his life. Iāve witnessed this personally with others.
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I understand what your saying about money, but it sounds like you treat him as a peasant bc heās not your. Just wrong.
Show him the bill for the stuff that is paid for from the child supportā¦ invite him to use it to pay those bills himself with the child support money or do withoutā¦
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After that, heās old enough to work himself! I donāt pay my kids allowance. I canāt with 4 kids. But I try my best to do what I can when they want to do something or need something.
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Ummm he has a roof over his head, food in his belly, and clothes on his backā¦ maybe sit down with him and talk to him about āreal lifeā finances and how that all works.
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My parents told us (6 kids) they put a roof over our heads, food in our mouths and clothing on our backsā¦that is all the law requires. No allowance ever! Kids need to learn what life is really like. Tell him to get to mowing yards he can make a decent amount doing that.
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Wow the light comes on. So thatās what I was growing up, a slave, shovel snow ,Mow an acre of lawn With a crappy lawnmower, not a rider but a Push mower,wash dishes, kids and teenagers only see the moment, they donāt see the future, when they get older theyāll realize you were doing what was in the best interest for the family. Everybody. Stick to your guns, stand your ground,theyāll realize it in the future. Life doesnāt get easier either as you get older
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Heās 15. He could get a job!!
How is it you have had this child for essentially 15 years and you donāt consider him one of your own? Perhaps his selfish and irreverent behavior is something he has learned from his āguardiansā. Heās a kid, heāll get over it. You on the other hand need to do some soul searching
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show him what the child support money goes to, on paper, so he can see how you use it. Parents donāt have to give allowances.We feed them, clothe them, provide a home, live them. Our kids NEVER got an allowance ever.
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As a parent you do not owe him an explanation. If he has a roof over his head food in his belly and clothes on his back then damn right he should be doing chores. If he wants extra money he can make some.little business cards and walk around the neighborhood and ask to pull weeds wash cars etc. Thatās what we did as kids. We didnāt get this so called allowance. When heās older heās gonna have to work for his money and STILL clean the house. The mind set of this generation is insane.
If heās 15, you should try getting him a work permit. Itās a cruel world out there for young teens w pier judging, sadly. However, there are more jobs available now than ever! Also, try notifying child support of your income problems and hopefully they can raise someoneās child support because 80/mo is totally a joke! Good luck!
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Tell him we are gonna do an experimentā¦we are gonna give you your full 80$ for the month but you may only eat what you pay for for that time being (obviously this wonāt last the full month and you will have to kick back in as parents) but as soon as he runs outā¦sit him down and explain to him how much everything costs bills food etc, he is old enough to understand and with him having some failed budgeting under his belt explain again that you would love to be able to afford for him to get his normal allowance but that right now you just donāt have it and the whole family has to make sacrifices right now and that begins with our discretionary spending. Then encourage him to look for otherways to earn some moneyā¦perhaps side jobs for neighbors but unfortunately regardless of allowance every person in the household is responsible for maintaining their responsibilities to the household
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Tell him he is paid greatly. Figure out what his part of rent, or mortgage and the bills that keep the power on and everyone warm, food ect. Devide it by the number of people in the home.
Then tell him he lives there and is liable for his part of the chores rather he gets paid or not. I am sure you and your husband have your share of chores you do and donāt get paid for doing them.
Life is rough so suck it up little manā¦
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At 15, he is able to get a job! If he wants spending money, time to earn it!
If he wants money, tell him to grab the mower& weed eater start knocking on neighbors doors. To earn him some the old fashioned way.
This should not even be a question. If you give him to his demands. Heās never going to learn. Heās gonna think I can throw a fit, and get what I want.
Sit him down and figure up excatly how much $ it uses for him to enjoy his playstation.
Without electricity he wonāt be able to enjoy his game at all. Which is part of what child support is used for. It pays for his hot showers, food he eats, clothes he wears, gas to get around, the water he drinks isnāt free, child support isnāt just for physical items for a kid. Itās to help cover the things he needs to survive.
Great time to teach the value of a $. And the importance of teaching kids a man that donāt work, donāt eat. Better figure out a way for him to actually earn him some spending money.
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Tell him he can have his 15 but you are not paying for play station. But I would just say no play station and no allowance if he wants to act like that.
15! He should be out mowing lawns or hustling some 0ther jobs
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Ignore his tantrum. Itās just typical teen entitlement. My kids donāt get allowance at all and they have to do chores. We all have to work together as a family to make sure our home is clean and comfortable. No one in reality gets paid to keep their home clean so why would kids be taught that.
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Children should be doing chores to help the family. Doing chores is the reward they get for being a part of the family. Itās expected of everyone living in the household. They shouldnāt get paid for it. If they donāt help out with family chores then they donāt get to eat! Thatās reality. I certainly would not buy toys with his child support money
Allowance should not be chores related. Have a list of extra house jobs that can be done for extra money. My mom told us our allowance was a gift for being a good citizen behavior, school work success and keeping our rooms clean, and I had the dishwasher to empty and my brother had the yard to mow when he got older. If we were not doing our required responsibilities then no allowance. We knew the reasons if we lost allowance. If we wanted to earn more money we could refer to the list of extra chores/payments mom posted on the fridge. Formulate a plan and stick to it for all the kids, your nephew should be treated exactly the same as your own children. Donāt discriminate
This Idiot kid needs to get with the program of real life. $80.00 maybe a small amount but he is not starving & currently has a roof ,place to live, electricity & the adults are covering all that. He is old enough to understand the current situation in this nation is difficult & he should stop acting out like a 2 year old . If it continues I would simply make a call to Law Enforcement & have them have a serious discussion with him. If it continues after that I would take more steps legally as I certainly would not āTOLERATEā it in my home.
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OK. Welp. Bye playstation, bye additional excursions to visit your friends. There, now you have your allowance.
As for the hygiene productsā¦ Iām pretty sure providing appropriate hygiene stuff is still the parentās job, so whether heās yours or not, youāre his guardian. You could choose not to get it out of the dadās money but then youād get bit in the butt cuz youād have to get it yourself. You know dang well that kid wonāt get it himself. He wonāt learn.
My I also sayā¦I love that everyone is expecting a 15 year old to work when the adults are having trouble with it? I donāt think it is as easy as you all seem to think to find people with extra cash to spare on a teen trying to earn spending money.
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His allowance is a ROOF over his head, FOOD in his mouth, and CLOTHES on his back!!!
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No play station. Grass is growing and he can get out of the comfy AC and go mow yards. Believe me I know about entitled teens. Your income is 0 he might want to figure out about his own income. They dont teach it in schools
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You dont owe him an allowance.
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I have 4 kids & Iāve never payed them an allowance.
They have always had age appropriate chores & made to take care of their own laundry & rooms. My boys mow lawns & do other neighborly things to earn some pocket change. My oldest is 20 but when he was 16, he got his first job because he wanted spending money. When he got his first car, he was responsible for putting money away for insurance, gas & maintenance.
I would start teaching him about money & bills. When mine wanted money for extra stuff & didnāt understand why we didnāt have extra, thatās when we laid out everything we pay for to provide for them. I think it gives kids a little more understanding on what it takes to run a household/family.
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My kids will never get allowance for chores. We all live in this house, we will all take care of it. If they want money they can find extra things to do for money besides their chores.
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No way! Heās lucky to even get an allowance, most kids donāt!0
Nope nope YOU need to teach them whoās the one who they should be grateful for, we are responsible for this brats youāre great mama/papas but we need to draw a line of being understandable and being mistreated!!
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My āallowanceā was the QUARTERS I earned per chore I did. Laundry? 25 cents. Dishes? 50 cents.
$80 is nothing these days especially if it already pays for things He Wants To Do (rides to friends, playstation).
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Iām probably going to get bashed but thatās fine, yes he is being a brat! But why should he get punished bc grown ass adults donāt have a job??!
Itās a tough one, the fact that you do pay an allowance to your other kids makes it a bit unfair though, it singles him out. I am guessing that being part of the family for 13 years he does household chores so he should get the same as the others. Maybe stop paying for his Playstation and change your kids allowances to $10 each per week. You would save $5 (allowances would be $40 for 4 instead of $45 for 3) and it would be fairer then he could decide Iād he wanted Playstation or not by paying for it himself, all the kids could. And while you are out of work they all donāt get an allowance.
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Chores are his/the childrens contribution to the home. Please check out parenting with love and logic
I Agree That He Needs To Get A Work Permite And Go To Work.
Shew then he definitely doesnāt want to come live at my house. My kids donāt get an allowance. They live in our home they help make the mess they can help clean it up. They all have ps5ās they all have their own TVs they get to do extra things like skating go carts eating out. So I feel my kids donāt need an allowance since every need and pretty much every want they have we do! My kids did ask for an allowance one time and we agreed to that amount but when they wanted the extra stuff that allowance went out the window lol
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Social services should take the biological father back to court and adjust the child support amount. In nc you can do that every 3 years. Maybe he can also look for some dog walking, helping neighbors move thing paint or cut grass that is what my grandson did when he was 15. Also some grocery stores will let 15 year olds work as baggers and stockers. Best of luck to you. Prayers!
When I was growing up I had chores but no allowance for doing them! And itās not child slavery! Itās called teaching you the fundamentals you will have in life once youāre grown up and out in the real world and have your own Apt/Houseā¦ These kids today just have no concept of lifeā¦
Tell him heās old enough to get a job in some states.