I have never understood why parents pay their children to do chores. Its part be functioning in a home. Next time they want you to take them somewhere tell them sorry you have to stay home and do all the jobs that require doing. If they lived on their own who would have to clean up after them. You are preparing them for real life… just my opinion of coarse.
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Horrible parents … don’t belittle children…this makes me sick to my stomach …
Wow sounds like a prison. You guys are way too hard on them for sure. Ease up a bit they are kids, they should be worrying about school and stuff not oh they will be mad if I don’t clean exactly how they want smh. Stop your husband from emotionally abusing them!
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Good for her standing up and saying the way it is. She is strong and brave. That should be something you are proud of. Sounds like the lazy ones are your husband and yourself. Sure kids need structure and chores but for them to be expected to do all your housework…so u don’t have to…hmmm…think about what you are saying.
What do yall do around the house besides bitch at them and yell.
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Ew this is gross. You and your partner are toxic people, how do you let your husband sit there and abuse your kids?? Disgusting. It is your house, there is no way you and your partner should have nothing to do around the house, your poor kids sound like like slaves. They school full time which affects their future, how are they meant to do that when they’re getting burnt out and abused at home? Yuck.
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this sounds miserable .
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Your husband IS abusive. And clearly not just to the children but to their mother as well. Otherwise you would not be so accepting of such harsh behaviour towards children. Yes children should have chores and contribute to the home but going by your post they do the majority share and u guys work full time and therefore excuse your parental responsibility. They are kids not slaves!
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Your husband is a screwed up bully …bet he doesnt act like that to adults at work or outside…good chance he’d end up with a sore face …and he would deserve it
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You say you keep up on the laundry and cool SOME meals. You are their parents not slave keepers! YOUR HUSBAND IS ABUSING THE KIDS & PER YOUR OWN WORDS YOU SIT BACK & ALLOW IT. You should be ashamed! Yes children need rules & responsibility, but they are not the keepers of the house, that is your job. You say neither of you have to do anything in terms of upkeep in years, so what have your kids been able to do as children? How have they had time to study properly, get sufficient rest, participate in school sports or anything else for that matter?? You have abused & deprived your children!!
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I feel so sorry for your children you both should be ashamed of yourselves.
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It makes me wonder why the older two haven’t spoken up sounds like your children have alot of fear in both of you and that is so sad.
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Instead of having children maybe you should have hired a cleaning service or better yet clean it yourself
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I’d feel the same way 
lighten up.
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Far out thats a bit over the top! You chose to have children so you should be doing MOST of it not them. Let them be kids. My kids have chores to do but they also have school and work and a little life. Your kids will probably not really want anything todo with you if you treat them like this. This is child abuse 
you will ruining these children
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$80 a month = $20 a week = $2 a day !! Wow you are generous. You both are disgusting parents!!! You should be put in for abusing those kids
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You’re parents not slave owners. Speaking from experience, your children are going to resent the hell outta you. Have fun with that. 
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Don’t get upset if when your kids move out they don’t fuck with you and your husband at all. Sad!
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“Your kids fall short quite often?” And your husband calls them names? Honestly, I don’t like to criticize other’s parenting styles, but you guys are terrible. Having boundaries and expectations is normal… Instilling fear is not. Emotional abuse lasts a lifetime and is cyclical- which means the likelihood of your daughters ending up.in abusive controlling relationships and your son’s being abusive and controlling in their own is very high. Shame on you both for damaging your kids and then having the audacity to complain about their"perceived shortcomings"
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You don’t sound like parents, you sound like abusive jail guards.
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It is abuse nothing more than emotional abuse. You should be reported and kids taking off you. So you keep up with the laundry and cooking… your sick your less of a man so called husband is sick… you are delusional standing back while your kids are being abused. They are probably scared out of their minds.
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Those poor kids are living in a hell hole! You work full time, so what!! If you n your brute of a husband want such a high standard of housekeeping do it yourselves!! 
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I left a man who fits nearly the same behavioral description as your husband because of those behaviors of emotional and verbal abuse! This is NOT healthy or normal! This isn’t an issue of your child, it’s how YOU and their dad are treating them!! Wake the hell up!! They won’t want anything to do with you if you keep this crap up!!
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Yes kids should have chores but not all the cleaning in house. It’s to the point you don’t have to do any up keep. You live in that house. You and your husband need to do jobs too.
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You and your Husband- especially the hubby sound like twats. Why did you have children? so they can be your slaves!?. Yes they need to learn respect and do some chores but that sounds overboard. I hope your kids rebel and tell you both to shove it up your arse, I would.
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There’s all kinds of abuse and to me this sounds like a form of abuse!ye really should be ashamed of yourselves!those poor children will be left affected from this behaviour going into their adult lives this is absolutely disgusting:rage:
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Control freaks lazy bastards that’s you 2 I feel so sorry for your children let them be children not slaves !!!
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Wow, he yells & you’re okay with that! He’s a bully & you are teaching your children that’s okay. Hire a couple house keepers & show your children respect. They will leave you one day & never return.
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Your child is letting you know that they are unhappy … why are you asking Facebook for advice ?? Your husband is in charge … ask him .
I hope your child stands up to him and calls him a lazy bastard ! And you , your too lazy to come up with your own conclusions and asking strangers on Facebook how to parent .
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Sounds like a nightmare to live in. I work, am I single parent and I still don’t expect any of that from my children. She has a good right to express her concern, she’s realised from seeing the outside world that the way they are treat isn’t normal. Yes doing some chores is OK, but to be belittled cause they are not done to an adult standard is so wrong!!!
U and ur hasband are totally arsehole bullying bastards, theyre kids not slaves. How unhappy ur children must be and will probably need councilling when older
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Lazy bullies especially the dad
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Clean the house yourself you lazy POS!
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Sounds like you have maids instead of children…
What is the correct way to handle those problems at home
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Well you and her abuser work and don’t have to do chores so why should she. Sounds like y’all don’t want kids just slaves. I get the whole chores thing my kids got chores and they range from 7-12 but for you two to not help out….that’s wrong.
You’ve ruined their childhood. Bottom line of it!!
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His not ya husband no more if ya not together
Absolutely pathetic. Your kids will probably grow up, move out and never want to see either one of you again. This is not parenting. If your goal is to have your children resent and/or hate both of you, keep doing what your doing. I feel really bad for your kids.
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Nobody is perfect! seems like you think you and your hubby are perfect your dreaming. Be happy that your kids are doing what there told but your very anal people. You suck as parents your children will have issues growing up especially self esteem bet they cant wait to get out of your home
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Your family esp husband/child needs counseling by a professional… Before it is too late. Positive reinforcement is a much better method. How will you feel if your child commits suicide or continues the abuse? This is not normal.
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You are not parents you are a pair of lazy fucktards and your children deserve better !!!
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If they are always falling short because of his standards and can never win, he’s over the line.
A job can have many benefits, but if a boss spoke to you that way, would you tolerate it? FAaaHhk no!
Micro managing is too a form of abuse!
Would you allow her future husband to talk to her that way?
No!
Would you tolerate a step dad to talk to her that way? I’d sure as fuck hope not?!
$80.00 a month is nothing. That’s just payment to tolerate his bullshit! Start pay more then.
All the nice shit means nothing, if she’s always falling short and loosing them.
You’re husband sounds like he just likes to make excuses to yell & needs help for his poorly neglected OCD issues!
You’re daughter is probably making plans to make a run for it. && I don’t blame her!!!
Stand up for your kids you fucking coward!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My 15 year old is starting to act out with how strict my husband and I are: Advice?
If your husband is calling your children names because they aren’t doing their chores “perfectly” theres a huge problem and depending on his language is emotional abuse.
You should probably sit your kids down and discuss how your husbands behavior affects them.
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Nahhhhhh this is wrong
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No comment…
#VerbalAbuse.
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You are abusing your children and they will never forget it.
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Sorry but your kids aren’t your slaves. They should help but you said you and your husband don’t clean at all? That is crazy to me. They’re kids not your employees. Yikes. If I were them I’d move out the minute I turned 18.
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This is all sorts of wrong. Verbally abusive and you both take advantage of your kids. They’re kids not maids
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Nope.
Sounds like drill Sargent not a dad.
Kids are going to resent him in the long run…IMO
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You love your kids so much , but you’re letting your husband verbally abuse them ? Okay
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You chose to have children, they didn’t ask to be born. Don’t have kids if you’re gonna treat them as slaves and do all your and your husbands work. Fair enough them doing chores and whatnot but name calling and all that over not cleaning the house to your perfect standards is a bit much.
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Different perspective. What are you guys going to do when they all move out and your responsible for all the chores in the house. At that point your kids won’t be their to do it for you. Also what your describing is abuse. No child should be called names. Your supposed to be their to bring them up not tear them down. This can and probably will come back and bite you as they get older. Sounds like your husband needs to see a therapist to teach him how to deal
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You guys don’t do anything to keep up with the house?! The kids are expected to do all the cleaning and such? That ain’t right 
chores and Responsibility is one thing but this is something else. Esp if your husband is talking to them like that. They’re not your maids. They’re your children.
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Wait. I do have a comment after all. Your daughter is right, YOU do let you husband abuse them!
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What the he!! Did I just read?!?!
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Put yourself in their shoes. If your boss at work spoke to you the way he speaks to them, how would you feel, and what would you do? They deserve respect just as an adult does. Consequences and chores, sure! The things you described, not so much.
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Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical if not worse ur husband calling ur children names and u allowing it is wrong I understand teaching them responsibility but they aint yall slaves and not up to ur husband’s standards he gets angry again they are teenagers remember that they should be treated as such!!! Ur kids are gonna grow up to hate ur husband because how he is and u for allowing them to be treated like that just saying!!!
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Your husband is verbally and psychologically abusing your kids and your are complicit.
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That’s verbal abuse…he shouldn’t be yelling or name calling because they didn’t perfectly do something. They are children.
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Totally wrong of you both.
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I understand some chores but they shouldn’t be doing all the house work. I don’t care if you’re working or not they’re kids not slaves. He has no right to be acting that way either I’m sorry but she’s right. There’s a difference between getting onto your kids and being verbally abusive.
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Woah what goes on - your children will remember this - yes responsibility is great but this is overboard
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Wow this triggered me, sounds a bit like my abusive childhood. I have seen a therapist once a week from about 22 to still at 30 and still not healed from it.
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You work full time, they do school full time. Each of you have your “job”
Cleaning should be a shared task. Lead by example and do chores with them. They shouldn’t have to do it all.
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Don’t be surprised when they all become adults and you never hear from them again. Hope you have a good retirement fund set up because y’all are definitely headed for the nursing home.
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Just please don’t come back 3 years from now asking why your kids don’t have anything to do with you. Verbal abuse is still abuse. And Buying them nice things doesn’t make up for it.
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As much as I wish I had a hand on my kids this well, kids are human beings. We all aren’t perfect. I mean who wants to be perfect anyways. I’m sure they all feel like they gotta walk on egg shells 24/7. That sucks. But if yall are yrs into your ways honestly how will any of it change? Ur husband sounds set in his ways.
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Fuck all that. You had children, not maids.
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I’m going to be blunt here and I’m usually not. If he is calling them names and yells at them that is verbal abuse. I also think that you are way to strict with your expectations. A 15 year old is still a child. No offense but if the only thing you do is laundry and cook some meals they are doing to much. You don’t have children to have them do the housework. I understand you work full time but having them do basically everything is not okay. I was abused by my parents so I’m sensitive to this. Change your ways, if you don’t they might not want anything to do with you when they are older.
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WtF. They are not your slaves or inn keepers. Clean up behind yourself. We have 6 kids. Yes they have or had chores. But this is ridiculous.
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Your husband is being abusive; it’s one thing to tell the kids to redo the chores, it’s another to do what he’s doing. Recommend he go in for anger counseling, and see if the 15 year old wants some therapy of his own.
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I’m confused by the part where you say you the parents have full time jobs and you don’t have to do any cleaning. But your daughter has a job and u still expect her to clean to your standards?
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Kids should have chores-not be responsible for all of the housework and it even sounds like most of the cooking of the meals as well.
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There is nothing wrong with chores and putting some responsibilities on your children. However, this doesn’t sound like a few chores. It sounds harsh and like your husband is an unreasonable jerk.
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You do let your husband abuse them. I don’t agree with how he handles things/ he’s crossing a line. And for you to sit and watch it you’re just as guilty as him for doing it. You should never rule your household with the whole if you don’t respect me you will fear me attitude. That never works they just rebel more.
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So she works and cleans your house but u can’t? I’m not sure if you heard or not but Lincoln freed the slaves.
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Your kids are going to resent you, if they don’t already. And when they have children, is this really how you want your grandkids to be treated?? It’s going to continue in your family and it is toxic and unhealthy. I understand kids doing chores. I understand giving an allowance. But there’s gotta be a better way to go about this. Hire a maid a few times a month since you and your hubby work full time and seem to think your children are enslaved to you. Guess what? My husband and I both work full time and my kids don’t have to do much. But when I ask for help, they are happy to help because I’m not an asshole.
Also, at 15 years old, you bet your ass I would’ve RAGED if my parents treated me like this. I would have found a friend to live with or told you to keep your allowance to pay a maid. They are human beings the did not sign up to be your maid service. Poor kids. Let them be kids!! And to be so critical of their efforts, is really sad. They are trying to appease you and your husband and I guarantee it’s causing a lot of stress and anxiety in them.
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Yikes. I feel sorry for these children who are being raised by parents with severe control issues and OCD and you all are projecting. The fact that you support this is heartbreaking for your children. Way to teach them that they are never good enough! Smh.
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Your husband IS abusing them and probably you. I hope you take these comments to heart and protect your sweet babies 
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Wow that’s disgusting. Yes it’s good for kids to do chores. But if it’s not the way u like it u go over and do it urself. They are children not slaves
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Wow sounds like you need to stop abusing your children… I’d be acting out too… your poor children!!
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Maybe you need to sit your husband down and tell him what’s up. That is straight up abuse no doubts. You don’t call your children names or take away privileges just because they did something that wasn’t to your standards. They are CHILDREN and they should not be held responsible to be perfect. That’s so wrong. You’re supposed to nurture them and encourage them. Maybe they had a shitty day and forgot to wipe one counter down and now their a pos or something? Lol step up and be momma bear.
Shes right. About all of it.
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This is child abuse. Verbally & emotionally.
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I come from a home just like this!! I promise you they will hate you for this! It made me not have a relationship with my mom! Enjoy life a little and calm down!!!
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I don’t think the comment section is going to be in your favor
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Don’t be surprised if your kid leaves home.
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Kids should be allowed to be kids, period. $80.00 a month to be berated for things not being done up to your husbands standards doesn’t justify the verbal abuse. Kids also go to school as you work full time and having responsibilities at home is important, but they weren’t born to keep your house clean. It’s YOUR home and they live their temporarily. This is disgusting and I hope they bill you and your husband for their therapy bills when they’re old enough to recognize the damage that was done.
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I think you need to re-read what you posted. 
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Sounds like my childhood except I never got paid ever and their was cleaning parents friends houses and relatives for free as well pretty much a house maid 
either way it was good for me I have three kids and have a clean house always I guess and I take responsibility but that being said I won’t be like that with my kids chores are good but their is a limit and honestly weather you work full time or not those kids go to school which is just as much work really you should be pulling some weight and doing cleaning just like them to show them everyone has a part in cleaning up their dang mess !!! That’s my opinion and I feel very strongly that parents shouldn’t expect something from someone if they aren’t even doing what they are asked to do set and example !! Ps you need to be stepping in a tell your husband that if he can’t calmly address issue with his children with out verbally abusing them he has to step away and cool down before talking to those children !! Other wise your children will resent you for not standing up for them and they will hate their father for the abuse not to mention they will never trust you or be fully open with you because they will be afraid of verbal and possible abuse as back lash 
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Wow parent of the year award goes to you two ! 
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If we don’t teach our children to be well rounded adults the world will & it will not be nice about it or care how they feel🤷♀️
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If he’s calling them names, that is definitely verbal Abuse! Come on as you are their mother you shouldn’t allow anyone to call them names. Ridiculous! Best wishes for your family.
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well you taught them that it you work you don’t have to do chores what do you expect ?
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Cut down on the money MoMA than , Shel maybe do themn
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Your husband is verbally abusing your kids and you are standing by and defending him. Imagine how they must hate being in their own home. You seem to think pocket money, phones and pets make up for it or lead to a good childhood. Their home with love and care is supposed to be their sanctuary. You both are bad parents. Sugarcoat it it all you want!
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All i am gonna say on this BRUISES HEAL…WORDS DON’T… Enjoy her now because once shes old.enough shes going to leave ans NEVER look back…
Oh great way to teach her on what kind of man to marry and how to treat kids…bravo mom…NOT!!!
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Your household sounds fun as hell! Sign me up! 
Abuse is the right word? Or no?
It sounds emotionally abusive to me. You’re allowing it so you are abusing them as well. Chores are important but perfection is unreasonable. Imagine of your employer treated you that way? Would it encourage you to do better or quit? A 15yo can’t reasonably move out so she is quiting to her ability.
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