First of all, thank you for the reminder that I’m not always the perfect mom, but thankful in a million ways I’m nothing like you. Gonna go disorganize some drawers and not do some dishes in honor of your children.
11 Likes
I have 6 kids, homeschool and run a business. Is it tough keeping up with house stuff? Yup. Do my kids have chores and responsibilities? Yup. Do I expect them to keep the house in good running order so I can focus on my business? No, because I’m the parent and it’s not their job to take care of me or their father. They don’t do everything perfectly, they’re learning. I don’t expect perfection. It sounds like the lazy ones here are the adults.
1 Like
So you’re making your children be your slaves? No wonder they’re rebellious.
You clean your own damn home that you pay for. Let kids be kids.
You’re both terrible parents.
Verbal abuse and name calling is never a way to treat people and much less your children. Come on now.
I do agree children should be given responsibilities which include chores but the family should also be working together. I think family therapy might be the best option here for everyone involved. Good luck and just remember, life is to short to stress and focus on the little dumb things that at the end of the day, don’t matter.
Just LOVE.
Wtf!? That’s all I have to say.
2 Likes
There’s just too much to say here, abuse is a life long journey… you signed your kids up for that.
Sounds like he goes a bit overboard with his OCDand it’s bullshit you stand back and don’t stick up for your children. Do they go to school? If not - WRONG, if yes and then thry have to do all the upkeep for your house cause you work - WRONG… Your 15 year old is correct about the abuse. Wait til they all move out and you have to clean your house yourselves. Aren’t we supposed to encourage and praise and uplift our kids when they try their best?? Imagine if you did the chores and they weren’t to his standard and he belittled you and treated you like he treats the kids? Get off your ass and do the damn chores yourselves and leave your kids alone! Yeah a chore each is fine, but just be grateful when they’ve done them and do some shit yourselves, they’re kids!!! Also the good home, holidays and whatever other bullshit excuses you just listed are a given when you’re a family and have kids, you do that shit regardless of anything else and because you want to - you bought thses kids into the world, thry didn’t choose to be and they didn’t choose you as parents - sort your shit out, stop treating your kids like that and stick up for them through thick and thin!!!
He would be checked if he verbally attacks my kids
1 Like
We were never good enough for my dad, makes it difficult!
1 Like
Fuck having parents like you too I mean how harsh 
yh chores can be done but you’re taking it abit to far did you have children to do you’re chores? Wow 
Omg… I would be unhappy too if my parents was ever like this 
sounds awful to me tbh… there is asking your children to help out in the house and clean their own mess up etc but why should they clean other people’s mess?:/…
Think your being a lil extreme. Chores are fine but sounds like you have way to high standards for your kids. Their kids. Let them have a childhood. Not treat them like their grown already
Wow you sound like my fucking mom, those kids are one step from being tied up out side to be whipped, your kids are not fucking slaves, I wish people like you, and my mom would learn that shit fuck you!!!
There only kids once enjoy your time with them
You literally just said, “let me birth these kids, sit on my ass when they’re old enough to do chores, let my husband VERBALLY ABUSE them, and not help them with a damn thing.” But still expect them to listen to you, do their chores to your husband’s standards, and make their lives miserable??!! WOW!! You shouldn’t be having any kids right now! What a damn shame!!
Your kids didn’t ask to be here! Nor did they ask for an asshole of a father!
By letting this go on, you’re showing your kids, that they aren’t good enough. All because you don’t like a dirty house! Then don’t have kids. If you both KNEW you hated having a dirty house, why have children to treat them like your slaves??! Oh, you cook and do the laundry, and you work a full-time job?? Great for you. Instead of letting your husband VERBALLY ABUSE your kids, why don’t you tell him to help his kids, so they have more of an understanding of what he wants done. Or idk, help your kids clean YOUR house??!! If I was your child I would act out also. That’d abusive as hell. You’re supposed to help your children. Not abuse them. There’s a huge difference between making them responsible human being, and making them your slaves so they can do all your dirty with for you. I’m sure the 14 year old is sick of yalls shit. Pathetic!
I grew up in this type of household and resent my parents for it. I’m now an adult and I am not close with them.
They’re children. They’re YOUR children. “We provide a good home for them.” Yes because you are their parents and that’s your job and responsibility.
YOU don’t like a messy house but also don’t do any of the upkeep??
Seems to me like she’s starting to understand her time and labor are worth more than a measly $20 a week. She went out and got a job worth her time and energy and you’re mad about it bc you have one less exploited child to take advantage of.
Chores are good. I have always believed that. But calling children names because they didn’t do a specific chore to a grown man’s standards- who won’t even do it himself?? Hmm….
Sounds like you know what the issue is but want to make it your literal CHILD’S problem and not the two grown adults that are responsible for BOTH their mental and physical health and happiness.
Good luck in the future… with your home when you have to figure out how to take care of it yourself and with adult children who don’t want a close relationship with you 
Edited to add: your husband IS abusing your children and you’re letting him. Those kids are not responsible for your adult feelings and emotions. Go to therapy??
25 Likes
He sounds like a prick and your no better
6 Likes
They’re kids!! Let them be kids.
1 Like
What is wrong with the both of you, you do not deserve children! This is in fact verbal abuse to talk to a CHILD that way! I am victim of this and it has been detrimental to my mental health, as a child I often felt like I could never do anything right and I was completely unhappy and depressed all the time. Unfortunately followed by self harm and acting out, I left at 18 by the way. Now I suffer from anxiety and depression as an adult. I am so heartbroken for your children, no child deserves to be called names or screamed at because the dishes were put in the wrong order, or not cleaned the way you see fit. It is your job as parents to protect, love, support, and teach them, to take care of them!! You and your husband are terrible and I hope these comments hurt and open your eyes. Good luck mending the relationship with them as well, you’re going to need it.
1 Like
Kids!!! Scrub this house from top 2 bottom while me & dad dictate!! Poor kids!! U guys sound like the lazy ones! Being a kid is suppose 2 be fun,being an adult is hard! Imagine redoing a cleaning job & ur parents hollar from the couch “do it again!! Ur lazy!!” Poor kids 
sadly they will probably do this to their own children cuz they learned this crap from yall. Parent fail!!
1 Like
Im all for kids having chores but this sounds excessively extreme. You cook “sometimes” and don’t have to do any of the other house work? Then add the name calling on top of it? Jesus. We are to teach our children to have responsibility and work together as a team, not that they are servants and doormats. Im a housekeeper and get paid $25 an hour. I wouldn’t do shit for $80 a month. Plus shes working too? You’re taking advantage of your children.
Sounds more like your maids 
Wait… they do all of the house work, but if it doesn’t meet the expectations they get slandered by your husband and punished??? And you just stay out of it?? You are supposed to be their safe place, their protectors…
Children are not meant to be your house cleaners. Just because you and your husband work full time jobs doesn’t mean your kids pick up your house slack to the extent of it being done exactly the way you and your husband want it to be. Shame on you both for creating such a hostile environment! Maybe listen to what your children have to say and fix the problems together before it’s too late and you have no relationship at all with your kids.
7 Likes
Classic example of the old excuse “we pay for this and that so I don’t know why they’re not feeling loved?” SMH. Money doesn’t equal love or respect. It’s obvious that this is an emotionally abusive life for them!!! Invalidating her feelings by looking at the other variables is still INVALIDATING HER FEELINGS. Ridiculous. Disgusting. I’m glad at least one of the four has the guts to speak up! God forbid they try to just be normal kids. 
You’ve raised your kids to never feel like they are enough. Congratulations.
2 Likes
My dad was the same way but I ended up moving out, starting a family and work full time while being a full time mom all by 18. He raised me right. Its showing responsibility to them because one day they’ll have to do it all on their own. This is my own views because I was raised this way. I wouldn’t be comfortable with name calling and taking out frustration on them but the rest sounds fine to me
2 Likes
Over the top. Sounds like a horrible life for a kid. Teaching responsibility and sharing the workload is one thing. You should all be accomplishing things together as a family group. If things aren’t done right that’s on you, the parents. Bet your kids will be glad when time comes to move out.
2 Likes
Children…they are children, not maids. If you and your husband want a maid then hire one. You obviously are not perfect so how do you expect children to be perfect?? You are a poor excuse of a mother. At your own admittance, you said when your husband is going too far verbally with your children, you stay out of the way. You are suppose to be your child’s safe haven…protect them…not run and hide while they are being mistreated. You are a coward. Words hurt too or do you not know that??? If they don’t meet your or your husband’s standards then maybe you should try doing it yourself. I really hope someone with child protective services sees this post and removes your children because you don’t deserve them.
So basically, you said you and your husband rarely have to do any upkeep… So they’re your “slaves?” There is NOTHING wrong with chores, but this sounds a little extreme… YOU are the parent, YOU CHOSE to have children. Let them be kids for goodness sakes… And him screaming at them, is ABUSE… MENTAL ABUSE. Y’all need to check yourselves. Your kids are going to grow to hate you. My kids have chores, but it’s MY house, and I chose to have kids… They aren’t slaves or maids.
**EDITED TO ADD- My husband and I have 8 children between us and our house is rarely messy… They each have their chores and my husband and I work with them to help keep the house clean.
1 Like
For $2 a day,u can have ur kids clean ur whole house 
1 Like
You sound like my parents…I did rebel my mom said its her way or the highway…I was 17… 3 jobs my own car I said 
byeeee
1 Like
What you are describing is abuse. They are children who will fall short and it might do you some good to remember you are not perfect either. I agree with them having to do their parts and that boundaries and expectations with consequences are vital, but they are your children, not your house slaves or verbal punching bags.
3 Likes
I would say your daughter is justified in her feelings and claims. They’re your children not your servants.
4 Likes
Lighten up
Give him a chill pill .
2 Likes
You are not raising maids or housekeepers. They are children. Sure they should have chores and keep their rooms clean. They are not to do all of the work. And to be verbally abused because it’s not up to your expectations. I feel bad for your kids. They will only grow up to be resentful.
Ew… I would run and never come back once i was 18.
1 Like
You said you work so you only do laundry and cook a few meals. So if that’s your logic I get where she’s coming from 
4 Likes
I read your texts . All I can add is you are doing a GREAT job. And are outstanding parents. Keep up the good work. Stay the course. The 15 yr old will appreciate someday.
5 Likes
You sound like my parents dad does all the discipline mom just goes with what dads says. To say the least I moved 12 hours away at 18 and do not talk to my parents at all
3 Likes
I can’t even believe a “MOTHER” could or would put a post like this on social media. How embarrassing & those poor kids! Definitely sounds like some lazy adulting going on at that house!
8 Likes
Poor kids ! Using them as slaves to clean up your dirty work. Where’s the love? Lazy parents, controlling! What a sad upbringing for those children.
3 Likes
I work a full time job,last year i had 2 jobs. Im a sole parent & i STILL do most the cleaning becuz i want MY kids to have a great childhood!! We go on trips,they have nice phones! I just bought my 16 year old a car. Her chores are to HELP clean the bathroom & HELP ME tidy the kitchen. Send ur kids my way & i will appreciate them! I’ll even give them days off from chores like i do my kids. I love being a Mom
4 Likes
Name calling is verbal abuse. I’m not sure why there is quotes around abuse. I could yell less. I’m by no means a perfect parent but this all seems very extreme. And chores should be done by everyone including you and him. It’s not teaching them responsibility if y’all aren’t taking responsibility too. The things you listed how you are providing a good home are all monetary and unnecessary. People can have all those things and still not have a good home. And they can not have them and have a good home. I’m not saying you don’t have a good home because they do have them just pointing out that those don’t really qualify good or bad homes. It’s really more about how the kids are being raised to live and contribute to society. Are they shown love vs being told they are loved after being what sounds like constantly being put down.
3 Likes
Let your kids be kids and learn responsibility accordingly with appropriate chores and tasks. They aren’t your personal servants. This will eventually lead to rebellion and resistance when you are consumed by your own personal standards and perfection. They are who they are and you can only instill so much, it’s best to have it be positively. They’ll be grown up and gone before you know it, instilling such strict standards won’t mean much when there’s a space that’s been forced in between you and them. It takes years for overbearing and controlling behaviors to work itself out.
3 Likes
Sounds awful. Let them be kids. Chores yes but come on this sounds like the military. Lay the hell off. Stand up for your kids let them be heard.
3 Likes
I think its good for children to do chores but this is extreme 
I would never expect them to do everything !
As a Father who is/was like this. Your husband should take a parenting class maybe a Domestic Class( not all are the same) it helps a parent deal with teenagers and be a more loving parent in all aspects. Times are different from when we grew up. And these classes are a lot more affordable then therapy.
1 Like
Imagine someone doing that to you.
Just because they are your Children doesn’t mean you own them.
Listen to them.
1 Like
Y’all need to back off. Or once they’re grown, they’re gone.
2 Likes
Wow …. That’s horrible. Poor kids . Don’t be surprised when they grow up and move far away from you guys . And your daughter is right ! It’s abuse .
1 Like
There children not your personal housekeepers
Kids more like slaves to me my heart goes out for these kids
2 Likes
Hmmm… I work a full time job, and have an 11 year old son… know what he’s responsible for? BEING A KID! During the school year, he has school and his school work… if he helps me mow or clean, he is praised for helping and told how much he’s appreciated… if he doesn’t mow or weed eat the way I would, I go back and get it after telling him how much I appreciated his help… if he folds a towel differently than I would, it stays that way and gets put away that way… because he cared enough to help me. I get a lot of voluntary help and there’s no name calling or verbal berating that has to take place to get it done.
You should both be ashamed of yourselves for treating your kids like servants, and you for allowing your husband to speak to your kids in such a manner. You are their protector and you’re failing at it… when you raise children who have image issues and no knowledge of their self worth, you have nobody to blame but yourselves.
Grow a set and stand up to him… and do your own housework.
2 Likes
I’m sorry but you ARE abusing you kss!
1 Like
The admin should report whoever submitted this question to them if they can. This is child abuse in my opinion. Teaching your children to do chores is great, but the way you’re doing it is exploiting your children to do YOUR jobs as mother and father while you “work full-time jobs” (boohoo lady, welcome to every parent’s reality… suck it up and be a mom). NO child should receive any form of verbal abuse for any reason whatsoever and sorry to break it to you, but what you say your husband is doing to your kids is verbal abuse. I feel so bad for your children and am not surprised at all that they are starting to “act out” and defend themselves.
5 Likes
Your husband verbally abuses the children and you want to know why she “acts out” and is unhappy, pretty sure you answered your own question.
4 Likes
they sound like your maid not your children and sounds like the Father is verbally abusive,maybe you two should jump in and help with the chores if the kids aren’t doing them to his standards,they are kids not maids
1 Like
Sounds like you suckk as parents your kids will do better without you im sure
1 Like
Cant actually believe what I’m reading!!
They are not your slaves!
Sorry but I think your husband needs a kick up his arse! And you as a mother should not be allowing your husband to be treating your kids like this!
Disgrace.
If I was your child I would of packed my bags and left!
Sounds like you had children to do all the housework for you.
2 Likes
This just doesn’t seem right your the adult your kids shouldn’t be keeping the house up y’all abuse these children you may not yell and call names but you let it happen when your husband does it!!
1 Like
I’m surprised only one is pushing back. Did you expect support from this post?
2 Likes
he is abusing them. Verbally. It is a families job to clean the house and that includes the parents. If they do their part everyday and miss something maybe you two should get up and do it yourself. Working doesnt change any of it. Thats your life you do that. Dont put the house work on your kids. Then get mad at them when they want a day that is laid back.
7 Likes
You’re husband needs to let go of some of his perfection and let the kids be kids. You’re only a kid once. You both out of everyone should know being an adult is hard and the kids should enjoy their childhood. Coming from foster care my whole life with neglect and abuse verbal and physical you’re kids will grow up and want nothing to do with you. Just my opinion and how I feel based off what happened to me
Sounds like you created 4 maids
3 Likes
Sounds to me like your making your children do all the house work like they live in a boarding school. And if the 15 year old is working full time, or even part time and attending school as well, yea you should probably cut some slack because she is still making more from work than you are paying her at home and when all you do is work you want to relax, not come home to more work from dictator like parents
2 Likes
Forensic nurse. Abuse is abuse! Verbal, mental, physical is ALL ABUSE!
They’re treated like slaves in your home and then beat down for not doing it well enough. 
7 Likes
Children are not your personal slaves…discipline is one thing but this does sound abusive. I’m all about the kids learning to do things for use later in life and discipline but I don’t think that’s what this is.
4 Likes
I think you should definitely think about how you are going about this wrong and you should talk to your child if they’re expressing what is wrong and what they think they are being abused than they are I think that by saying hurtful things to them that’s abuse also. He can’t just verbally abuse them. Also why can’t you and your husband clean your own home. Why do your children have to do it.
Holy crap. Your children have to do everything to YOUR extreme standards, your husband is verbally abusive if he is always yelling at them for not being perfect. They are CHILDREN. & $80 a month is nothing especially for your standards and she is going to school AND working? Cut some slack. I would HATE to be your kid.
3 Likes
I honestly didn’t think it was too bad at first. Until I got to the part of verbally abusive with the name calling. How in the hell does anyone think that that’s ok?
You have 4 kids. 1 was bound to be the “black sheep” or stand up and tell you how are a letting that abuse go on and still you won’t do anything. That kid will leave at 18 and rarely talk to you.
2 Likes
As a mother with 6 kids 2 to 15 n I’m ocd n a boss lady who runs a business and a tight ship, kids aren’t going to have everything perfect to your standards. Let them be kids in grow. My kids have choirs n ect they get them done to the best of there ability. You push ur kids they will push back. At leat they are doing them n not finger banging controllers or cell phones or running around town like a rat.
1 Like
I’m all for chores but excuse me? You have gotten to the point where you almost need to do no upkeep around your own house, these are kids! Allow them to be children they are not your slaves…and it sounds to me like your husband needs to check his attitude. You are most definitely abusing your children and as far as I’m concerned nice phones pets and trips do not make a happy home. LET YOUR CHILDREN BE CHILDREN!
8 Likes
Way to hard on them if she is working and has school she should be able to get a break to chill when she gets home
You guys sound like a nightmare
1 Like
That IS abuse and i didnt know we had children to be our slaves? Thats terrible. I hope your children move far away and never speak to you again. Holy shit
This can’t be real … seriously
A message from my mom have probably alot like you
3 Likes
My mom did this crap to me and now I don’t speak to her at all. 
So don’t be surprised if they want nothing to do with you once they become adults. Having discipline, chores, and structure is great and all but y’all are taking it way too far. He should never call your children names… That’s verbal abuse. And it’s YOUR job to keep YOUR home clean. Their rooms, their responsibility. Their dishes, their responsibility. But it sounds like you’re having them do basically everything. I’d say your daughters feelings are justified. 
8 Likes
They are kids and they want a life to. If she is working alot I don’t see why she would have to still do alot. I mean she needs to clean up after herself but let her have a life. Do they do sports or anything? And yes you are letting him abuse them. They can’t be perfect all the time. If its good enough for u then stand up for them and say hunny cut them some slack.
What is wrong with you
3 Likes
Or better yet maybe your 15 year old can have a kid to do her chores while she works since that’s what you have taught her is proper 
2 Likes
I’m all for chores. And I understand that both parents are working full time but YALL ARE PARENTS. Let kids be kids. They aren’t your live in maids. School, social life, growing up, etc are stressful enough. Home should be your child’s safe place.
3 Likes
I wouldn’t be surprised if your kid ran away. That’s too crazy
4 Likes
So you expect young people to be perfect and perfectionists at cleaning etc yet you and him are far from perfect at being parents. You are causing ermotional harm. IF you plan on your kids cutting off ALL contact as soon as they are old enough, you are setting it all up for that to happen. You are thier mother! you are supposed to protect them but instead you are complicit in the abuse. YES verbal abuse is abuse and it is very very harmful. Get them counselling now and get you and hubby into counselling to find out why you feel the need to treat your children or any human being this way. Asking kids to do chores is fine but expecting perfection is over the top. How about you and hubby be perfect at parenting??? need to work on that because you ARE failing horribly at that. Either start reading, classes or something… learning how to parent with compassion and correctly or expect the kids to start running away. I would! I would rather be in foster care!!!
I can’t blame her, she works and goes to school , probably has a lot of homework,she should not have chores besides cleaning her room and picking up after herself.
That’s a house, not a home – that’s what I’m getting out of this narrative. I’m pretty sure I’d be out as soon as I could & don’t know if I’d go back too often.
We’re all human & fall short. Verbal abuse is real & leaves horrible scars.
5 Likes
Nothing like an unhealthy dose of unattainable perfection. Hire a maid if you’re not satisfied? You’re just going to drive your kids away being so anal.
4 Likes
You had me with you until I came to the part where their father was calling them names etc, now he sounds more like a dictator
So… they are your guy’s slaves 
nothing wrong with chores but daily? When are they supposed to be kids? Sounds like they have grown up very fast which is unfortunate! But he is teaching them when men yell at them in the future and degrade and call them names it is acceptable its love! Sounds like you as a mom have dropped the ball
3 Likes
Wow.
They stop running a prison camp and let them enjoy life
2 Likes
My husband and I both work full time 50+ hours a week. We have raised 4 daughters. Yes they had chores and were expected to do them for their allowance money growing up. We have one left at home now and she has chores that are set for her allowance. She doesn’t do them she doesn’t get money…she’s a teenager and likes the money so we don’t have issues. But the majority of the work around our house such as deep cleaning and making things up to my standards is done by me. Your house sounds like a really fun place to grow up
Well, it is abuse. I’m all for making my kids do chores. They are literally never to my liking, but they are done. They are learning skills, it takes time. Screeching at them and calling them names every time they don’t do it correctly doesn’t teach, it belittles. My husband and I also both work full time. My children go to school full time. Full time work doesn’t excuse you using your children as hired help. You all live there.
5 Likes
Do y’all even let your children be children, or are they just y’alls servents while y’all work? I’m sorry, but you’re children are being abused. Verbal abuse IS STILL ABUSE! No one & nothing is perfect except God & his Son Jesus. Stop making them try to be perfect. If they do their chores correctly, and some little something isn’t right, FIX IT YOURSELF! Your children should be allowed to be kids & not try to be perfect. Society will not expect perfectionism. No wonder they are unhappy
1 Like
Is this a home or a correctional center? Geeze.
2 Likes
You husband is verbally abusing your children they are not your slaves damn right she should call you out on it !
As a mother yes I’d expect them to know how to do certain things but ur husband sick OCD cleaning attitude is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself to let it carry on
Your lucky your daughter hasn’t reported this to someone who could become very concerned at your treatment of the kids
1 Like
Who’s going to do all that work once they leave the house, and that will be soon as they can I bet. Mom and dad need to step up and dad needs to back off.
2 Likes
Wow! It’s acceptable to you to hold your children responsible for all the housework besides a few loads of laundry? Get off your asses and clean the damn house if y’all want it done perfect!
A 15 year old in school and working is expected to clean the whole house perfectly cause her parents have a job 
1 Like
Am not surprised you haven’t got the 20 year old babysitting the young one or even the 15 year old 
JS
Gali Velazquez wth
1 Like
I don’t do chores because of parents like you. Let that sink in.
2 Likes