Hmm some states allow emancipation and I pray to God your children, I mean servants know this and use it to their full benefit! This is 100% child abuse and technically could be considered child labor in which is illegal in many states! Seems like y’all need to look in the mirror and realize y’all are the adults and y’all are responsible for doing house chores as well! And trust me I’d be pissed if y’all didn’t lift a damn finger to help with the chores but yet wanted me to do it to your standards, I’d tell y’all real quick if that’s how you want it done get off your lazy ass and do it! I was abused by my mother and step father, I left at age 15, I’ll be 34 in Sept, the last time I’ve had communication with them was at 15 when I told them to go to hell! I hope at least the 20 year old and any other over the age of 18 has moved out of that prison! Hopefully they’re smart enough to figure out their 15 year old sister may be able to divorce you both and helps her achieve that!
While I don’t think having your kids help out around the house isn’t child abuse, getting them to do anything for your lazy ass is wrong.
I’d tell you to stick your $80 and be looking for a new place to live.
You are abusing your children. They are not your slaves. All people in the house should be responsible for cleaning it. You and husband are lazy and abusive. Your poor kids.
What the actual fuck?! No one is perfect not even you or your husband. I am so surprised none of them are actually acting out and ran away. Yes have rules and chores but this is a slave house. They are CHILDREN NOT slaves or maids. Your house you keep it maintained while your children have chores children should have. How would you feel if it was you? Name calling and belittling your children is abuse. I’m glad your daughter knows and sees the abuse and hope she tells someone that can help. Just by reading your post I fear and feel for your children. Are they even aloud to be children? Everyone is right you guys are the issue here not your daughter. Abuse is not just physical come on now you’ve gotta see this. In what world is it ok for you and your husband to not do anything but go to work and your children have to work, school and take care of your house?! Unreal
If you delete my comment I will religiously repost it because it’s the truth
Your husband is abusive and you are complicit in that abuse you allow it and to make matters worse they do all of your housework and you and your husband get to sit on your asses and enjoy slave labor because they are going to school and working 40+ hours a week doing everything and you only pay $80 per month but it’s ok for you to sit back and watch and listen while your children are yelled at and called names by their father to tell it to you straight up you and your husband are lazy abusive @$$#013$ and I sincerely hope your daughter reports y’all to child services and that you are criminally charged and that your children find homes where they are loved valued and respected and you enjoy the title of child abuser
Name. Calling. Is. Abuse. Let’s just start there.
Having chores is not a bad thing, but the extremes that y’all hold your kids to is outlandish. A home for children is supposed to be a loving, warm, and safe place for them to be themselves. Not where they are belittled because drawers aren’t organized to your specifications to where they are verbally abused by your husband and you stand by and let it happen. There’s a fine line there and you aren’t just tap dancing with it, but have crossed it.
I see all kinds of problems here; none stemming from the children; your husband is OCD and likely OCPD as well. In short, he’s controlling and mentally abuse, and you are allowing it. I feel for you too, because the disorders that I am describing do not just get turned off. It is time for you to have a “come to Jesus” talk with Mr. Husband. Nip this one in the bud ASAP. I like my stuff clean and neat, but there comes a point where enough is enough. I’m a teacher, and I have cleaning expectations of my 4th graders, but sometimes I just have to let it go. No one is perfect, and you have already described several markers of OCOD, including verbal abuse, a fixation on constant cleaning, never good enough, removing privileges (as a form of control) and there are others that you have likely noticed. Anyway, I wish you well as you need to deal with your OCPD husband before the family situation becomes worse.
My kids have chores and responsibilities, but we are a family and everyone has to do their part. The kids should not have to do all the work. Even though you have jobs you should both lead by example and create a team work environment. Calling names and screaming all the time should stop. Maybe a different approach might change everyone’s attitude
Your children aren’t slaves, yes cleaning up is fine and some chores but to yell at them etc if not done correctly?
The relationship you have with them will be gone very soon.
Yeah not got parents sorry not sorry
Wow i thought i was strict but damn my kids are lucky to have me. I feel sorry for your children.
Your children are not your employees. Disgraceful. There’s a right way and a wrong way to teach kids responsibility and expecting them to be perfect is not acceptable expectations and yelling and calling them names is simply abuse. They will end up hating you both.
Sounds like you all are paying your kids to do what you both should be doing. Chores, ok but them up keeping the entire house 24/7 is ridiculous. Beyond chores to me. It’s a wonder all your kids aren’t acting out.
Its not wrong to give children some age appropriate chores but the vibe of this message there appears to be no compassion, empathy or love toward the kids…Its like do what i say dont question it …Which is very Victorian views…We are in the 21st and children deserve to be heared and valued…They need your patience and understanding not verbal abuse…
This will cause resentment and could even send the
kids down the wrong path in life without a family support system…Doesnt appear the children can come to you or your husband and be heard with how they are feeling…
If your parents arent fighting your corner in life who can you turn to…
There is time to rectify this before its too late…
Im sure you would want a relationship with your children as they grow up and possibly have their own children…
Be an example to them now and show them how loving parents support and love their kids…
Yep. This won’t work. Lol. My dad was strict and I turned into a hellion. I worked harder than a grown man, never had a thing, and have worked for all that I have now. I like discipline but at the same time, there should be a limit. I hid everything I did behind my dad’s back. Is that what you want from your kids? I get teaching them but they aren’t your slaves. I felt like that growing up and I have severe OCD because of it now. You can tech them without them taking care of YOUR responsibilities. That is YOUR house, YOUR yard, YOUR responsibility regardless of you working full time. I work full time, my husband works full time, and she won’t do our chores. Chores do not build structure in children. My husband had them and he doesn’t do a damn thing now. I chose to be a hard worker and that’s what everyone has to decide.
I’m all about chores but I can’t help but to feel bad for these kids.
You are both abusing your children. I hope they get out from your house soon and never look back. What awful “parents”
Don’t listen to the hate. There are too many irresponsible parents out there these days. They get paid! What. Your husband is rude, yes, but you should help instill the want for keeping their space nice and clean. You guys not doing anything at home sounds like you may be running them a little too rigged. My kids are home all day while I work and I still get home and do stuff. It is more like a communal task where we all chip in. Even the hubs cleans up and cooks. Sheesh. I want to runaway too sometimes, so I get your daughter’s side.
They are children. Your suppose to provide for them and protect them. They didn’t ask to be here. You brought them in this world. Chores is one thing. I did chores as a child. My daughter does chores. But she still gets to be a child. Children have bad days just like adults. Why hold them to a higher standard when they are still learning themselves. You need to listen to your daughter. Because as soon as gets the chance. She will leave and not look back. You need to talk to your husband. Because the name calling really does hurt a child & causes so many more issues. Have a one on one with daughter. Then talk to your husband. She’s only 15.
Me again…advice. Your husband has expectations & so do you, those are his and yours yet they are not correct or appropriate for a child. Those are adult expectations and need to reframe (re look) at the difference between adult expectations versus expectations for a child. Big difference there. KIds do well when they can… and they love to do well as we all do yet they cannot always do well as they do not have the skill set to do some things as an adult does. They do not haver adult skills yet, they are also often lagging in some thing per thier age. We are all different and learn differently and we all lag in some things at some point so take a new look and see where you have not helped them where they are lagging. As for parents lagging… you are lagging in compassion and creating a positive environment to grow in. Look at what you can do to promote compassion and an emotionally healthy environment and before getting down on them again for thier lagging in attaining your expectations of them, work on yourself instead first.
So your children cook and clean? WTF do you guys do? Instill discipline and responsibility? Sounds more like you guys use them as slaves while you sit back and bark orders and do nothing …
Please make me understand … you expect your 15 year old who has a job and I’m pretty sure is in high school to do all those chores on top of work and school so that when you come home from your job you can relax? Don’t you think your kids may be tired also? You only cook “some” meals? Guess they have to cook also and clean your mess when you decide to cook? Well ma’am I hope that laundry that you say you do is folded perfect, no stains and no wrinkles or you’ll have to do it again til it’s perfection.
Ya it seems like you are going over board should not be calling them names because dish is dirty or counter not clean I’m all for chores and discipline. But do you spend quality time with your kids do they do sports or band?
Your children are going to grow up disliking you. My husband and his brothers went through this growing up. Their dad was physically and verbally abusive towards them. If the house wasn’t clean enough for their dad, they got punished. Now that they’re older they want nothing to do with him
Incase anyone thought they were bad parents today, this post is here to make you realize you’re not…
I can’t get over this post. I hope your kids don’t also turn into narcissists. Woooooow.
And I firmly believe kids need responsibility and chores. But also a chance to be children. You two are beyond lazy. Do some damn work yourselves! I hope your kids get mother and fathers days off
There children not house help! Sounds like there whole child hood is spent cleaning and being made to feel not good enough! My children spend there days playing! Painting making mud pies! They put there toys away and help care for there pets! They will enjoy as much of there super short child hood as possible;
‘Completely perfectly’ what are a you an Army Sergeant? Teaching perfection will no doubt bring about insecurities throughout their lives!
I have very strong opinions but it’s already been said. Give them to family and away from y’all.
OVER. THE. TOP. I would NEVER let a man, father or not, speak to my fkn children like that 
. You need to grow a pair lady. You treat your children more like slaves. One day, you’ll regret it if you don’t change that.
I wouldn’t want to live there. Sounds like you are running some kind of boot camp for your kids.
It sounds to me like you guys want them to take care of you all. I mean wtf!
Seems like you had children to be your maids? I’d be surprised if they even talk to yall once they move out on their own.
This is all sooo cringy EXCEPT where your daughter is coming from. She’s right. You both sound way to strict on these children. Except their chores to be done perfectly but you admit neither of you have had to do upkeep for several years? Fucking lay off or do it yourself if they aren’t doing it “perfectly”. I sincerely hope you both step back and take a look at your parenting.
Oh yuck. That is so sad.
They are gonna rebel hard core here soon! Chores and discipline are good for children. But not verbal abuse. They are kids, do things have to be exactly perfect or up to dads extreme standards? I wouldn’t wanna live there. And your daughter is right. It is abuse the way you say yall are especially your husband! You will find out really soon! Instead of belittling them about it, talk with them and let them know how they can improve, ask them what they can do to improve on their chores! 
I feel for her. This is so wrong for them mentally. I experienced it in a home when I was younger. You are expecting them to be the adults? Your husband calling them names is unnecessary. How would he feel if his boss yelled and called him names? Have you ever heard of “do onto others as you would have them do unto you”? The children aren’t slaves. They could potentially be suffering and eventually go to suicide for an answer. When do these kids get to be kids?
I sense sad posts of why won’t our kids talk to us any more in your future.
Way to set them up to always feel they’re not good enough and nothing they do is good enough. 10/10 on parenting:roll_eyes:
And to say neither of you clean? Are they your slaves? Because that’s not what kids are for. My boys who are 6,4&2(3in august) all clean up after themselves and take care of the “communal” areas and their own bedrooms. However they have small tasks to do and get rewarded for doing it even if it’s not up to my standard and most of the time I have to redo it, they’re learning. Lead by example and stop treating your kids like slaves. They’ll grow up and despise the pair of you. Poor kids are gonna grow up needing therapy for their childhood.
You need to listen to your unhappy daughter! She’s right yall are abusing your children!
YOU MOMMA ARE THE PROBLEM NOT THE 15 YEAR OLD! I’m all for kids doing chores!! However there your and your husband CHILDREN ulls job to clean up to. I myself seen parents like this and the min that child gets a chance to get out they do not talk to there parents and stay WAY AWAY. POOR GIRL SEND HER TO US SHE CAN BE A TEEN AND NOT A SLAVE
Yea my mom did this when she was sleeping with her drug dealer; my sister and I were responsible for cleaning the house before she got home at 5 or 6 after we got off the bus. All she did was laundry and occasionally cook; which we were responsible for cleaning. Yea, she wasn’t a good mom
Ya that is to much. My mom was like this and I hate cleaning like ill clean but it is not perfect. And I don’t even have my kids do chores ill ask them to pick up toys and take out trash thats it. But my daughter offers to help with dishes laundry and what not. That is because I don’t and won’t over do it
Have you ever seen the movie “Mommy Dearest”?
My 21 and 20 year olds live in a apartment together so I can’t and won’t speak on them however my 15 year old is to wash dishes and clean kitchen once a day (I do the other times) and wash her laundry.
My 13 year old is to take out the trash feed and water all 3 dogs (we also help there) and deep clean the bathrooms once a week (everyone helps throughout the week)
The 2 year old picks up her toys and helps me wash windows.
Weekend normally they don’t do anything except pick up what they mess up and BE CHILDREN…
we also hang out with the kids I’ve actually grounded them from their room for the day just to hang out with them… how much time do you spend with them? Is of everything materialistic value to you and your spouse? Do you have quality time with them or even know what their favorites things in life are?
I am all for having your kids have some responsibility and learn to pick up after themselves but it is your home and your responsibility to keep up with it your children are just that children who didnt ask yo be here and shouldn’t have to keep 6our house they are your children not your house keepers!! Yall are the parents and it’s your job to make sure your children you chose to lay down and make get to have a childhood and dont have to spend that childhood cleaning YOUR home!!
O and also verbal abuse is what you’re letting your husband do! Not good I myself would have his gone out the door and let him clean his own
I’m all for the general direction you’re going, but these are kids. They need to be kids.
I’m a strict parent as well, but I see no need to nitpick how things are done. Also, if they clean, you gotta clean. It’s only fair if everyone contributes. Wanna talk about working full time? Suck it up. That’s what adults do. Back off the kids and maybe focus on what you’re not doing…
Heyyy this was how it was with my mom and stepdad I was very unhappy like the middle child I know exactly what they are going through, if you call your kids names because they can’t wipe off the counter correctly guess what you’re being way over the top and being cruel it will give them anxiety later in life especially when they enter the workforce I was miserable living with my stepdad
Y’all don’t have a family you have a maid service 
Though I disagree with the yelling and name calling and that should NOT be done there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with having your children do chores especially if they get paid for it. If I paid my son $80 a month to do chores I’d want him to do them the right way. Period. Im not giving you money to do half the dishes and leave the rest, im paying you to do all the dishes yes your kids did not ask to be born but ill be damned if my child goes out into the world not knowing how to do their own laundry or not knowing how to cook or how to keep their home clean. You ARE failing your children if you do not teach them this. If you do not teach them accountability or responsibility. “I know you didn’t ask to be born son so let me cook all of your food do your dishes do your laundry fold it, put it away give you money and clean your room for you even though you are 17 years old” 
my SO didn’t even know how to cook or do laundry himself until we got together and he moved out of mommy’s house because he never had to do any of that stuff himself. SO little brother refuses at 20 years old to make his own lunches for work because “you’re my mom you’re supposed to” and when she refuses he responds with “then I guess I just won’t eat then” this is what happens when you do every little thing for your child because they “didn’t ask to be born”
Well if they don’t meet you or your husband’s standards get off your butts and do it yourself. They are kids not your maids!
Sounds like an OCD household/home. All /and the only thing children learn from 2 perfect parents with OCD is that they are not good enough no matter what or how they do things. You 2 parents need help. Your children will grow up and you will see very little of them.
Yeah, I just think you guys should reevaluate your parenting choices. Everyone is different in how they parent, but one thing I’m greatful for was my decision in taking parenting classes to be a better mother for them. Maybe you guys could try that! Your daughter is expressing she is unhappy and you should liaten to her before you push her away. When you have children you should always understand you will also give up a clean home. I dont mean let it get disgusting, but I mean that there will be messes all the time. When they get out of the house, you’ll have a clean home so maybe try to be more understanding that they are kids. Chores are fine, but give them a break some times. Even at your job you get breaks, you have days off. So they should be able to also. You guys should also be helping not just putting all that on the kids. I have 5 kids and a clean home is just unrealistic without pushing all of them to a unnecessary standard. You’re doing more damage than good with your strict parenting and you will push all of them away from you. Talk with him about being so hard on them when they mess up or arent up to his standards because thats no fair to those kids. If they did what they were told, then let it go. If its not up to his standards, then he should consider cleaning up behind them. Don’t be the reason your kids are hurting, just do better. Take some classes and educate yourselves for them. I learned different disciplinings for certain age groups, how to help with acting out, what my actions may cause effecting my children, how to be stern, but gentle. There’s different ways, please consider this! She’s acting out because shes hurt by you guys. Be more understanding because they are humans with different minds and feelings so they wont always feel the same way as you or just obey your every order that they dont agree with.
There is a FINE line between abuse and discipline. I have 3 kids myself. The 2 older ones know what is their responsibilities and OUR shared responsibilities are. There is NOTHING WRONG with chores. I will agree your husband blowing his top is wrong. If he is yelling, screaming or using names as punishment is a bit much. Unless it’s a repeated issue then I can understand FRUSTRATION but not demeaning your children. Yes yall are wrong on that. You not speaking up and him doing it. My kids clean, doing laundry and help with yard work. If we have left the house clean, they are expected to keep up with the upkeep. Like if they cook something, they are expected to clean their mess. I’m not cleaning after them. If their rooms don’t stay clean, I start throwing things away. Plain and simple. When they get older, their g/b friend aren’t there to pick up after them. They need to do it themselves. I’m not going to baby and coddle my kids and have them expect that same treatment as an adult. 
So all you do is laundry and cook “some” meals. Girl. Your kids are not your maid. Chores are good but expecting them to keep the whole house clean is ridiculous. You and your husband live there too. It’s a team effort to keep a house clean. What does your husband do around the house to give him the right to complain if things aren’t done to his standard?
Your excuse for not cleaning is you work, yet your 15 y/o that works AND goes to school has to clean every day. Very hypocritical. If you want a relationship with your kids once they’re grown and out of the house you’d better change your ways. Just because you provide the bare minimum for your kids doesn’t mean they owe you anything. They didn’t choose to come into this world you chose to bring them here. You’re SUPPOSED to provide for your children. It’s your job as parents. Sheesh.
Ur hubs sounds like an ass. Then u dont defend them while they are being called names?! Pssssht yeah id be acting out too. I get the responsibility of chores and discipline. But find a better way to accomplish that. And give ur kids some dang grace…
Your kids also attend school and have homework, which is also a “full time job”. Sounds like you have servants instead if children.
I noticed you added how bad your husband talked to them a little at a time and then made light of it and tried to make excuses for him. Take it from me verbal abuse is REAL and is very damaging. What you are doing is going to have the opposite affect of what it sounds like you are trying to have on them. They are more than likely going to grow up and resent ya’ll. Yes, children need to learn and have responsibility but they also need to be children. Sounds like ya’ll need a maidand if your husband is yelling and calling them names then he needs a real man to woop his ass!!!
Wow. This is a disgusting post. My jaw hit the floor reading this. What I read is we want our kids to care for us like they are our parents and we are the kids. I would be rebelling to if my parents acted this gross.
This isn’t okay. Your daughter is seeing this isn’t normal and she is right. Your husband is abusing them.
Your children are not there to be your maid and run your house while being belittled or verbally abused. Let them be children. You gave life to them and it’s your job to be a parent and do for them. Having chores and having everyone chip in is one thing. It comes across they are doing it all while you and your husband do nothing. It would be different if you said help cook a meal once a week. Keep a chore schedule of tasks that everyone is still working together and ask them to do their best. When I say everyone that includes you and your husband. Your husband is verbally abusing them with words instead of trying to encourage them. You’re their mom. You should stand up for them. If you can’t stand up for the wrong behavior then shame.
When do they have time to be kids? What yall are doing IS abuse. Way to set them up for a lifetime of therapy and relationship issues.
Let your kids be kids fs! Let them be messy, play around ect you will regret this when thier older!
This still has me upset hours later.
You’re home sounds miserable- let them be kids 
If you want something done right…then do it yourself!!!
In my opinion everyone that lives in that house should be helping out to do clean up the house daily. Not just the children. They sound like slaves. And of course she would play up. Even though you guys are working and providing them a good home. Verbally abusing you’re children is a way for them to feel like they can’t talk to you both about their feelings and to feel like they’re not good enough because they’re constantly being told something isn’t right. It’s okay to teach them good values , responsibility and what not but you’re going about it the wrong way. Bare in mind you’re children also need love , compassion and so forth. Make room for that. Talk to all you’re children about how they’re feeling and then ask them how could you as parents improve. allow them to have the floor to speak without you both getting angry , offended and interrupting! then together work out how chores in the home can be fair! When I worked full time I still came home to clean and cook etc… I would never expect my kids to take over cleaning of the home. it’s not fair.
You did not birth children so that they could be maids. Your husband is abusive and you are enabling abuse. Get help.
Imagine being born into a family who uses you as their personal maids and then be told you’re not good enough… yikes. Chores are one thing this is abuse.
Chores is one thing. You sound like you had kids just so you don’t have to do any housework. They are your children, not your live in housekeepers. Working full time or not, you and your husband should take YOUR lazy butts and do some cleaning. Because frankly, that’s what is going on. You and your husband are too lazy to clean yourselves, but you still want it done a certain way. And the way he’s speaking to his children? That is 100% verbal and emotional abuse, and you as their mother are standing there, letting it happen and even agreeing with him. I feel so sorry for your kids.
This is just beyond awful!! She is right this is abuse and slavery. How can you treat your children like this 
This post is really disturbing. Your children are being treated like slaves. You both should be ashamed of yourselves. Your daughter is right. This is abuse. This post made me sick to my stomach. Some people just shouldn’t be parents and you two fit that category.
My parents were just like u I had to clean and cook for everyone while they did nothing. I use to skip school just to have fun. I hate cleaning till this day feels like torture to me. Your husband is verbally abusing them and if she tells someone they will call cps on y’all. Y’all need to help clean and cook stop being lazy.
This is extremely sad. There’s a difference between chores and being maids… if you want your house that clean go pay a professional… hate to say it but I feel bad for your kids☹️
Wtffffff???
Teaching chores, and responsibilities is one thing.
You literally just said how your kids take care of everything in your home, and that you cook “some” meals!!!?? LOL
Sounds like a military camp …poor kids when do they get time to be children …
Sorry but if he’s yelling at them and taking out his frustration on them verbally then yes it’s abuse. You are both the adults and making your children do majority of the housework is not okay especially to the point where u and him haven’t had to do anything basically for the last few years. You’re both in wrong in the end and you just stand there n let him abuse the children is definitely not okay whatsoever under any circumstances. Too bad your family members haven’t seen it happening in front of them for they can contact child services on y’all or take custody of the children.
The name calling is 100% verbal abuse. Belittling, and terrorizing your kids plain and simple, is emotionally, and mentally damaging them.
I understand that you guys want kids to help with the chores , but even us as adults don’t clean the dishes well sometimes ,so stop letting your husband call them names , if he is so unhappy then he can wash the dishes himself… these are kids not maids, and working full time is what adults do , the children did not asked you to bring them to this world you guys made them because you wanted to… let them be kids, let them help but don’t expect them to clean very well all the time, mistakes happen.
You work full time and you expect these children to clean in return of having a good phone pets etc, well children are YALLS Responsibility, you have to give them a home 
!!!
I’m sorry but I was bought up with having to sit on a hard chair and wrote a thousand lines. I was expected to do chores and if not done properly I’d have to re do them or not get paid. I was grounded. And got smacked ass and clip around the ear and more. I think people are too soft on their kids nowa days BUT as much as I love my adoptive parents and I am stronger because of them but I left at 16 got my own flat. Our relationship was never solid though maybe look at doing things a little differently but with with same principles behind things
Sounds like your trying to raise soldiers. Their only kids once.
Sounds like the army…no wonder they are acting out…must be a horrible experience living there and having to be perfect…poor kids 
You need to talk to your husband. It sounds like he very well could be verbally abusing your children. In which case you need to put a stop to it now. Those words he is using carelessly now will stick with them forever. I mean it…FOREVER. Words like “lazy” just aren’t necessary. Chores are good. Responsibility is great. Being paid for chores?? AWESOME! I never got paid for chores as a kid and I think that is absolutely wonderful. I wish we could talk more so I could get more details because I can’t get an accurate representation from just this bit here. But…from what I can tell…I just want to say that praise, love, understanding, and affection also go a long way as well as teaching kids responsibility. Taking a softer approach at times can be a very wonderful thing and teach a child how to treat others when they are an adult. Its not easy…that difficult balance you must find between structure, tough love and also understanding and kindness. But BOTH are important. Kids make mistakes, go through things, have bad days…they have whole lives and feelings of their own. I would sit down and talk to your husband calmly about taking a different approach to how he speaks to your kids. It might be good if you stepped in to talk with your kids as well instead of leaving it all to your husband. I don’t doubt that you love your kids it sounds like you do. Also, both of you sitting down with your kids and having a good long talk with them and reaffirming your love for them, telling them you are proud of them, and apologizing for any mean things that might have been said in the past is also something I would talk to your husband about doing. I’m not sure how much help I can be because I don’t live there with you and I can’t accurately see what’s going on. But this post hit me right in the heart and I felt I needed to say something. You guys got this. 
Wow!!! Just Wow!! If you both don’t like the standards you clean!!! How about stand up for your kids and don’t let them get treated like that sounds like they do everything and you both just sit back and abuse them. If I was your child I would act out to
Sounds to me like this is a very abusive home.so you give them a nice home… get a grip lady it’s your job to take care of your kids.you let your husband verbal abuse your children.they will never be perfect and I bet you and your husband are not perfect
You don’t deserve to have your kids and I bet they all can’t wait until they are 18 and can get out of your abusive world
So you want live in maids that you can berate?
What I just read is absolutely insane . I’m praying for your kids ! I feel so bad that they are being treated like this by their own parents. So sad both of you are at fault !!
I feel like a child’s chores should consist of cleaning their room or any mess they make pick it up and when old enough maybe some trash but otherwise let kids be kids
You literally said that it’s gotten to a point where your kids do EVERYTHING? Sure, you work, but they also have school and are still trying to figure their passions out. If he’s calling them names, he is verbally abusing your children and you are letting them. Having your kids help you is one thing and have responsibilities, but if everyone picks up after themselves, everything else is on y’all. They can help, sure, but they aren’t your servants. Your kids are going to want nothing to do with you if this keeps going this way.
I’m going to be very blunt here.
If I was your kid I’d probably grow to hate you and be itching to move out and never look back.
I’m only 21 myself and if I was being treated anything like that I’d claim abuse also because that’s what it is, verbal abuse.
You’re yelling at your kids to the point they are claiming abuse and you think that they should be fine with it over $80 a month? Then when your child gets a job, you expect her to continue doing these things, AND taking y’all’s abuse, even though you and your husband having a job is your reasoning for doing admittedly nothing for YEARS!
This situation is twisted and your kids have every right to be pissed. I wouldn’t hold my breath for a relationship with them after they move out if I were y’all.
You and your husband’s attitude towards the kids and their need to serve you is not the most loving… to start.
I tell you, I make my kids clean too, I want to create good habits in them as well, but my standards have dropped DRASTICALLY when it’s them, and I am ALWAYS alongside them helping or doing something while in their presence so they are not left alone to do chores. I always encourage my kids to help one another and you know what my reward is for that? If I look overwhelmed in whatever I’m doing, my children will come to my side without having to ask for help. They don’t want their mom stressed over cleaning and they will help alleviate it without being told. You need to lower your standards so that it’s possible for your children to meet the expectations that you are giving them, and instead of verbally abusing them, try encouraging words instead and see what kind of response you will get from them in return. If you respect your children, your children will respect you honey.
Golden Rule in my house:: Treat Others The Way You Want To Be Treated ::
The whole point is to TEACH them, not USE them.
I get having them finish the chores. But they are children and what you described is abuse. Where is the love?? Did you have children just so you don’t have to cook or clean? That isn’t right. It’s one thing for them to have chores, but you and your husband should too. Yes you both work, but they go to school and have homework. Summer is supposed to be their vacation. In my opinion you are not very good parents.
WOW! Let them be children/teens. If they are going to school, working doing homework and then looking after “your house” I’m sorry but give them a break.
Sure make sure one does dishes (it may be washing or packing the dishwasher) and one puts them away, maybe one could do the vacuuming BUT if it’s not to your standard don’t lose your shit at them. (They are helping)
The 15 y/o has more then enough to deal with, school work, homework, hormones ect!
TAKE IT EASY ON THEM!
Calling them names and degrading them and constantly putting them down because your expectations are so high that they often don’t meet them is mental/emotional abuse. Your husband sounds like a perfectionist and you can’t expect children to be the same. He needs to calm down a little bit. I would never sit back and allow my husband to call my children names and take his frustrations out on them.
So God can give you grace every time you mess up butypu can’t give your kids the same?
You and your husband sound like lazy pricks. If the kids don’t do their chores to your standards then you both should do them yourselves
Disgusting parenting.
You and your husband are fucking gross.
Sounds like yall should of joined the military instead of having children. Nothing wrong with kids having chores but your husband is an abuser.
Wow glad you ain’t my parents! Rediculous, you are gonna lose your kids when they grow up, they will want nothing to do with you