Give the kids a break. That is really abuse…….poor kids.
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Wow! I wouldn’t want to grow up in an environment like this. This is terrible.
And teaching responsibility around the house and expecting children to pitch in doesn’t mean that they might do it perfectly. And ridiculing them after they do it and making them redo it just teaches them that they’ll never be able to do anything right. That’s not a good way for them to grow up
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Yeah you and your husband are abusive C. Un Ts I hope she takes that broom and rams up your vile husbands rectum and the smacks the last of your terrible parenting out of you!
Oh and it’s YOUR you maggot
So she works and goes to school full time yet you still expect her to do full time work at home and call her names when she doesnt? Sounds abusive to me. 
Learning chores is important and knowing how to keep things clean. But the if he’s throwing out bad names and yelling that you failed and suck and didn’t do it right is abuse in my opinion. If you can’t have compassion towards your kids and teach them calmly and listen to their opinions then you shouldn’t have kids. Talk to her calmly, come to a new agreement maybe. If you worked and didn’t have your kids to clean, you’d be overwhelmed by everything too. And letting him decide on all the punishment and not stopping him if he’s gone to far shows you don’t care about your kids, in the kids eyes. You need to co-parent better. She could be dealing with other stuff you don’t know about and the chore of vacuuming the house today is just to much to handle for her that day so she needs to do it a different day. Being yelled at is never good for anyone, no matter what age or situation.
Don’t be surprised when they never talk to you when there older lol
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Yeah thats verbal abuse and youre going to cause your children to have trauma. Stop being so strict, stop letting your husband scream and call them names, and for fucks sake let your kids be kids. My parents did similar things that caused me to develop multiple trauma based mental illnesses. If you keep this up, your kids will not have a relationship with you when they’re older and will probably suffer mentally and emotionally if theyre not already. I cant believe this is real…
Kids should be doing chores, these are skills they need for when they go on their own . No they should not receive payment !! They live there , they need to contribute!! No I don’t think if something is not done it should warrant name calling or extreme discipline! Just maybe change how it’s approached!!
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You don’t have children to become servants. Sounds like you and your husband are the lazy ones
Yeah this is not right your husband is mentally and verbally abusing these children yes chores are good but running your house like a boot camp is very unhealthy to growing minds and 80$ a month??? To be treated like that and have to do that amount of chores is ridiculous
If you’re gonna treat them like employees pay them like employees stop justifying what your husband is doing bc you love him
I was with you until you said he calls them names. That’s never ok.
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Remember, kids are just that… Kids! Chores and responsibility is great for them to learn. Verbal abuse is not! They need their down time as well. All I can say is I worked full time cooked and cleaned so you can step up to help out
As well. They should be helping, not entirely responsible themselves to run your household. You choose to have them. Let them be kids too!
You’re daughter is right and I feel so sad for them. 
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I’d say enjoy the next 3 years because once your daughter turns 18, you’ll never hear from her again. She’s old enough to know that there’s something seriously wrong with the way she’s been raised and she’ll walk away from it first chance she gets.
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They are your children .not your servants .yes give children some chores but by what you have written they do the lot .your husband does what exactly? And you cook a bit REALLY !! .
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Well when someone is always told they can’t do something right it breaks them mentally so I could understand we’re their frustration comes from. Add some positivity if I was belittled all the time I would probably care less about everything and not to a single thing right ! If you are not thanking and telling them they are doing good that’s definitely the problem
So you didn’t have the kids to love them you had them so you can have slaves
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First:clap:
to dad… We MOMS may not like it; BUT HE’S NEEDED & SHOULD BE RESPECTED… Your teen is normal & doin normal teen shit… Normal for teens is to NOT LIKE US & TRY TO PUT ONE ANOTHER AGAINST US TO GET WHAT THEY WANT!!!.. SO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK & KEEP THE UNITED FRONT… NO MATTER WHAT THE COMMENTS SAY!!! GOOD LUCK:crossed_fingers:
& ANOTHER THING; Why is it ACCEPTABLE ALL OF A SUDDEN FOR THEM TO SIT & VEGITATE ON TECH, WHEN BACK IN THE DAY CHORES WAS WHAT WE DID TO FILL OUR TIME? THATS HOW WE KW HOW TO CLEAN & WASH DISHES!!! HELLO… SMDH… REALLY Y’ALL… LIKE SOMEONE SAID; 3YRS & SHE’LL BE AN ADULT; WITH HER OWN; IS SHE NOT SUPPOSE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE KNOWING HOW TO COOK & CLEAN EVERY DAY?
Your daughter isn’t upset about having to pitch in, not even so much about the perfection that is expected, its the verbal abuse thats making her feel unloved and abused, that is not how you encourage good behavior, when was the last time bing called names helped you improve who you are?
Also give your kids a break… perfect is not something that goes with kids period. Encouraging a better job is always good but expecting perfection is ridiculous on both your parts.
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Kids having chores is wonderful. It teaches them work ethic and responsibility. However it sounds like your children are running and up keeping your house because you “work full time” I’m assuming they cook too? Because you cook “some” meals. How sad for your children
They are not your slaves honey you talking bout you and had to do much in years what type shit is that and you let your husband call them names I’m glad she got a backbone what your self before she run away you need to check your husband that ish ain’t cool
Abuse! And as a child advocate I would recommend some changes before someone intervenes
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! I imagine there will be some pretty intense rebellion in your horizons. I hope not at the expense of their lives…
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Omg THIER kids yall need to watch the nanny you both need to be fair to the kids.hubby needs to be there too all is alot for ypur kids…KIDS YOU DIDNT HAVE THEM TO CLEAN AND DO CHORES THEY are kids a family works together.take that 80 from them hire someone to help …let them be kids duri g the week .weekendz are for all THE FAMILY doings…
Sounds like your daughter is is begging you to listen to her. If she’s that unhappy to the point she is telling you about it then something need to change. Happy kids do not make up lies about being unhappy!
It’s one thing with them helping to learn but to do everything is not fair I don’t even like my kids to help me lol I like to clean for my self because I like it done a certain way but that’s really messed up those bbys are not slave clean your own damn house if you don’t like the way they do it
Yep nup. I’d fuckin hate for y’all to be my parents, and I’d probs being saying the same thing
You had kids so you could have slaves. Gross
My dad started treating me like this when my mom and him split when I was 10. When I was 11 he had a new woman. Both of them made me their slave. I am now 30 with 3 children of my own and I haven’t spoken to him in 10 years and for good reason. There is a difference between teaching your children responsibility and making your children be the parent. I work full time in upper management. My husband works more than full time. I have a brain condition and go to the doctor frequently and STILL I cook and do most of the cleaning while he also cleans and does laundry . My children must pick up their rooms, my youngest must do the litter box, my middle (the only boy) is responsible for the dog poo, and my oldest girl must unload the dishwasher. Not load it, not wipe down the counters, not sweep, mop, cook, dust, clean my bathroom, do my laundry, vacuum. All of those things I had to do at her age. Shame on you for thinking your only required contribution to the household is monetary. Be a fucking parent and help.
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Damn you have little laborers not children.
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There is teaching your young ones to be responsible and there is toxicity. I truly hope this isn’t true, but if it is, I fear for your children’s mental health, because you have one hell of a toxic environment you’ve helped to create. Instead of asking Facebook about what’s going on with your child, PLEASE for your children’s sake seek professional help! 
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What your husband is doing is verbal abuse and you know it. They are not slaves, get a cleaning service and go to counseling.
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they’re your kids , not your servants.
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From a child who grew up similar I asked my mother as an adult why she would allow any man to treat me that way I hated her for a long time for what she allowed to be said to me
every day should be for play remember it’s the adults that have fucked the world and its your kids that will have to clean up the mess clean up your mess yourself and earn your childrens respect
don’t demand it
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Chores are realistic and should be taught to children. You let him abuse them, verbally. You are defending his extreme perfectionism and angry controlling behaviors by not getting involved when he is calling them names. They are not your maids. Sounds like they spent their childhood cleaning and living up to you and your husband’s brutal expectations. They were and are Children for God’s sake. You were entrusted to protect and love them. No one cares how clean your home is, but you 2! Ya think maybe you want to ask yourselves why having a clean house is more important than your kids self esteem and well being. You are the problem! You are both egotistical, self righteous abusers. Guess what? That’s what you’re teaching them!
It’s good to teach and train them, but at some point you have to let them enjoy their lives as children. Try doing it together as a family sometimes, don’t allow your kids to feel like there your servants. This puts alot of stress and them and it will cause them to distance themselves from you.
They sound abused and you allow it. There is a difference between chores and discipline. Did you have kids so you can be lazy and abuse them because they aren’t good enough?!?
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Listen to your children. If she is claiming “abuse” talk to her about it. Do not allow your husband to ever take things to far. That is when you need to step in and say chill. Paying them for the work they do is not a bad thing as long as you are teaching them to be responsible with the money. Something is wrong in that household and its up to you to figure it out. I am a single mother, that works full time, I pay my kid for the work he does around the house when he does did it, if he doesn’t I will take away the things he likes. It is still MY household and I do most of the work. He is still a kid and needs to be a kid as long as he can. Fix your home before if falls apart.
How dare you both treat your children like that what are you going to do when they are all out of the house and off on their own this is wrong on so many levels no wonder your daughter is acting out your treating them like slaves there is a difference between having them help and forcing them to help and have them do it until it’s right then to turn around and let them be abused by your husband you all need help for you want your children to treat their children that way someday I think not and maybe your scared of your husband but you need to stand up for your children
This has got to be made up. 
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There are rules and discipline but by God this is extreme there are your children not your servants.
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I didn’t have kids so they could clean my house. I understand that they need chores and responsibilities and I 100% agree on that but expecting them to do everything perfect? No one is perfect. Cut them some slack they didn’t ask for you to bring them into this world so they could clean for you. They are allowed to have their own opinions and with how strict you and your husband are I do not blame her for voicing her option. You need to listen to your children and hear what they have to say and find a compromise or things are going to get harder. They are not pets they are children. As for your husband the name calling is unacceptable in my eyes. Yes I yell at my kids but there is not screaming or name calling. They are children and are still learning so they are going to make mistakes. If I had parents like that I would never want to be around them when I got older or around my children because I would never raise mine that way
Stop being pos abusive parents. Do better. These children deserve better parents. Period!!! Seek help
And I’m not going to lie, I hope reading all these comments makes you feel like absolute shit. I hope it breaks your heart the way my dad and step-mom did mine. I hope you lay awake at night crying, wondering if you are doing right by your kids because you are not. You are supposed to protect them, teach them, LOVE them, and help them be better. Not berate and belittle them because you don’t think they are. Your kids probably hate when the school bell rings and it’s time to go home. Nourish your children’s needs, not the other way around. If this post doesn’t make you feel like a shitty parent then you might as well give up because you apparently have reached your peak if shithood and can’t produce the love required to raise children. YOU PUT THEM HERE, YOU HELP THEM HERE. I chose to be homeless at 15, sleeping with party guys in their 20s so I had a place to sleep at night, because it was better to go foodless, sleepless, and homeless than to live under that roof. I was beaten, drugged, raped, and abandon at 15 and that STILL isn’t where my trauma came from. Treat your kids right. It’s a lifelong commitment, not a convenience.
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So you’re kids clean your whole house to the point you only have to keep up with washing and “cook sometimes” because you both work full time yet they go to school and now the 15 year has just started work on top of that and still expected to do it all, imagine being yelled at and verbally abused because the benches aren’t wiped down properly! Wow
P.s you don’t keep a clean house your kids do
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We hire help and birth our babies
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The very fact you have no issue with writing this status on a public forum for complete strangers to read rings alarm bells to me!! Did you both want these children? Or were they created so you could both sit on your backsides??? I am gobsmacked! I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t have a knock on your door from social services after reading this!! Poor kids 
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Seek therapy. Ur daughter is correct…Name calling etc. is abuse!
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My task for you is, find out Who hurt your husband and please try and convince him to seek help to heal. Generational curses are killing our children! My question for you is, would you allow anyone else to treat your kids this way? I am sure the answer is No. He’s abusing your children and your just sitting back and watching because you obviously believe and man should be the head but how do you follow something that is wrong? Verbal abuse leads to long term mental and emotional issues. Sounds like this has been going on for a long time so the damage may be done but nothing is too hard for God. Put a stop to this now or your kids will hate you for allowing someone to treat them that way no matter if it is their father. Tough love and teaching responsibility is one thing but this has crossed the line and is now abuse. Words hurt and once they are said, you can never un-hear them. Prayers for you and your entire family.
You as the mother know in your heart what Is going on is WRONG…thats why you came to strangers to get advice. You had to have known total strangers would say you and your husband are abusing your children!! There is nothing wrong with having chores to do but, to the point where you and your husband want them done. Totally ridiculous!!! You both are mistreating your children to the point your 15 yr old is acting out. Which I might add, I DO NOT BLAME HER!!! They are not your servants, you both should be ashamed of yourselves!!! Especially you as the mother!! Us moms are here to be the reasonable one in the family. If dad gets out of hand then we as the moms step in and act accordingly!!! Your whole family needs help…immediately!! Good luck to you and God bless your children
Oh and btw, a general cleaners wage is around £15 per hour, live in cleaner a little higher! I’d advise giving them a pay rise so they can save up and move out 
God sounds like a army camp didnt see anything about fun Things as a family
I agree they should be doing some chores but not be belittle because it’s supposedly isn’t perfect, they are kids.
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You and your husband ARE at wrong… I feel really bad for your kids.
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You already know the answer your husband is abusive with your children it’s is not ok to yell and bully your children if they don’t do something to your standard they are not your slaves! And shame on you for not standing up for your children and allowing someone to verbally and emotionally abuse them there whole lives!!!
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There is a difference between chores and being your mades. Children have enough to worry about with all the school work and peer pressure and trying to be kids. Why in the heck would you force all yours and your husbands responsible on to them. I worked 3 jobs and took care of my house work and helped my children with their homework and I did it by my self all the my children were responsible for keeping there rooms clean and put their folded laundry away. Please, please, please let your children be children while they still can. And stop using them as slave laborers. And you and your husband get therapy. And probably for the children as well.
There’s always gona be at least one in every bunch that screams abuse when its nothing but a well disciplined and structured house. The yelling at kids is something ive never approved of, i believe that if you talk to them with respect but still with authority the point will be there and nobody is scared or stressed out from the situation. Personally whatever chores aren’t getting done by one i would make time to talk to them in private just both parents and the one child and i would ask first what’s going on and if its just laziness simply cuz they feel like they are working so they shouldn’t have to do their chores anymore i would simply suggest to them that they have a choice either continue getting paid the $80/mth for doing their chores or you will split the chores between the other siblings and split the $80 with them instead and then the only money they have is from working at a job. At least thats about how i would go about it.
You and your husband know that they are imperfect humans with feelings and not damn robots
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Ok hear me out kids doing chores including the ones you’ve listed … Completely acceptable especially to teach them some responsibility however they are still young nothing should be expected to be perfect because they are learning! However the name calling screaming bs is too damn much. Y’all need to re evaluate the approach mistakes are totally acceptable and normal. Your teaching these children simple mistakes are not acceptable therefore who the hells gonna want to put in full effort when they are gonna be judged no matter what?! My husband and I both work full time as well and i be tired as well but to expect my kids to do an adults job perfectly is rediculous! How about praising the effort rather than shooting down the attempt. Idk I disagree with the approach but then again each parent is diff
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UNBELIEVABLE and glad I wasn’t one of your children growing up…CPS needs to be called.
Omg that is the new age where they try to get away with all this shit. The type of gen to call mothers birthing people and chest feeding. They need to be kept in line like the rest. Spoilt bratty children when they become adults have a harder successful life compared to disciplined and well mannered children
I left home at 14… verbal abuse, mental, physical it’s all wrapped up together… it’s still abuse
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Is this for real? Your treating your children like bloody slaves. If you want your house kept to a certain standard then do it your bloody self. I’m all for kids doing chores but this is beyond that, this is abuse!
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When are they allowed to be kids ?
It is you and your husband’s job to keep the house clean, sure kids should help but they shouldn’t have to do all of it !
Yelling is abuse, and you only stay out of it because you don’t want yelled at and are to lazy to do any work around the house.
Don’t be surprised if you wake up one day and she is gone
As someone who grew up dealing with this same situation I’m telling you right now its abuse. I get trying to instill good habits in your children and they should have chores but what your doing is child labor. They all might as well have jobs with an overbearing OCD boss who cant control his temper. No it’s not physical abuse but it damn sure is mental, and emotional abuse. Your husband obviously has an anger issue and needs to get help BC IT IS NEVER OK TO TAKE YOUR ANGER OUT ON YOUR CHILDREN!!!
If you weren’t concerned, you wouldn’t be questioning it. Listen to their voices, they’re people too.
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Tell him to go back to the army. And I hope he gets a taste of his own medicine
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Chores are Never a bad thing. Paying for chores is something I didn’t believe in. Now I’ve read many comments that the children are slaves. If the daughter is working why does she still have to do chores? Who makes most of the messes? How many hours is she working. If the husband is being to stern you can discuss it with him. I’m sorry I’m tired of children saying their being abused. Yes emotional issues are a problem but is that really the case here. ? Just a few questions I had.
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You only get one shot and I can tell you this, yes chores are great it shows responsibility but verbal abuse of any kind is not ok change it now or you won’t see your children when they get older they will learn to hate you and the relationship they don’t have, listen to them, your standards are one thing, if the chore is done why argue or belittle your children the job was done and you didn’t have to lift a finger! Children are NOT YOUR PUNCHING BAGS
Your children aren’t your maids. They can clean up their own messes, but there’s no reason they need to clean up yours. The way you say he speaks to them is LITERALLY abuse and will follow them for life. i’m 22 and can still hear my step-dad calling me a piece of shit in the back of my head from when i was 15. I don’t know how you could possibly think that any of that is doing good for them, or is okay just because you provide for them (as a parent should, regardless). family trips are your choice, not something they necessarily asked for. Your children are people, just like you are. And they have voices, just like you do. Listen to them.
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Too bad this is anonymous sounds like your children should be removed from your home this is extreme just unbelievable
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You’re allowing your husband to abuse your children. Period.
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Sounds like a lot of excuses for someone who already knows the answer.
You better enjoy your children while you can treatment like that and they’ll be out the door asap how do you live with yourself letting your husband belittle your children over chores 
Sounds like boot camp I’d be pissed off also, bet he bounces a coin of the bed when it’s made also
Let your children be children. They should be allowed room for errors, it’s only human nature! Allowing your husband to yell and belittle your children is not discipline! It’s cruel. Children take that to heart and it hurts them more than you realize. It’s your home, your the parents, you made the choice to be parents, it’s your responsibility to do upkeep in your own home, especially if you’re so particular.
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Oh lord… where do I begin… honey you need Jesus. “Nothing too extreme” 
tell me Karen did you learn through verbal abuse 
. If you both think that your children are happy because you give them nice things. You have failed as parents. Yes discipline and and responsibility is something you teach your kids. But my God you are both treating them like servents. They really didn’t ask to be born. You both decided to have these kids to love and protect them. Not step on them when they don’t clean your fucken house up to your standards. If that’s bothering your husband so much than get his ass to clean it himself. I bet those kids can’t wait to be old enough to leave. I’ll pray for your kids.
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It’s clear from how you wrote this you know he is wrong and you’re just to scared to confront him
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Someone please tell me this sick post is a joke… If this is real shame on you dude… Wrong on every level.
Get a backbone and provide a better than good home for your children and leave yr husband. End of.
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Your husband and you, both work and rarely do chores. Why should the 15yr old do chores when shes working? There is a fine line of teaching your kids basic housework and mentally abusing them to be your personal slaves. I dont know whats wrong with yall as parents but you and hubs need a double check in the mirror.
I was brought up strict on chores and its made me grow up to be a chore resending lazy turd. Not to mention the amount of arguments there were. No worth it. Clean your own house.
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Your comments and how you have worded this post suggests that you know that both you and your husband are far too strict. You want people to tell you as much, so that you can affirm your own beliefs.
Your children are your children, not your housekeepers. I agree that children should have age appropriate chores, but they certainly should not be doing all of the housework. When do they get down time? When do they get to chill out and spend time with their friends? You will end up driving them away from the family home. Perhaps, think about how you will both feel then. It’s not too late to rectify this, but you need to honest with yourself and your husband.
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Listen instead of excusing what’s happening
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There’s chores and there’s using your children as professional cleaners. Pay $80 for a cleaner and treat your children as children. The way this is written sounds like they do more than you both do and can’t get anything right. It sounds far too regimented and sadly your children will potentially resent you both for it later on. Kids have so much pressures on them these days as it is. By all means expect them to help out and do some chores but this sounds a pretty horrid environment. Your husband isn’t coming across well in your explanation and I couldn’t sit back and let my husband behave like that without intervening. Poor kids
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Your both a set of c#nts especially your husband, you brought those kids into this world why are you making her work at 15 years old, its your job to look after them not the other way around it seems your the lazy ones in the household making your kids do all the chores then bollock them when its not good enough. Child abuse! How can he call himself a man when he’s calling his own children names and shouting at them for not perfectly cleaning the dishes! Assh0les the pair of you need sorting out
Y’all some shitty ass parents that’s all there is to that, the state should have take them from y’all long ago. I hope they put y’all evil selves in the worst nursing home they can find and u hope u get the worst CNA in the world I hope they let y’all sit in soiled diapers and never turn y’all to make sure u have big bed sores… That’s what y’all deserve for making those kids lives miserable.
My hubby and I don’t pay for chores. This is how we both were raised…however we don’t demand our kids to keep things spotless but tidy. Our girls are 14 and 11 they wash their own clothes and bath towels on their own. They take out the trash when asked but again we let them do it when they can which results in them doing it right away to get it out of their hair. They know when school is in session sleep is at 930 unless weekends or holidays. We have yet to have issues. You need to speak with your spouse and let him know not to demand right away but set a time limit and then deduct from their allowance if not done in a time frame set.
I’d too be miserable if i was her! Daddy’s cussing me out, mommy is allowing it & isn’t fighting/sticking up for me. Then after i get off work i am highly and disgustingly expected to slave around the house when there is a household full of grown ass adults.
She’s sick of y’all’s shit. That’s it!
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wait its gotten to a point where you and your husband dont have to do anything? so your not even sharing the chores just making the kids do all the housework!? thats not fair on your kids at all. If your husbands gets so upset when things arent done correctly maybe he should do some himself then. Your letting your husband speak to your kids like shit and take away privileges for doing their best at jobs they shouldnt be under so much pressure to do. Your clearly not doing a great job as parents because your kids are gonna grow up to be messy and also to resent you for ruining their childhood.
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Control freaks .are you that frightened of your husband that you allow him to abuse your children, yes it’s good that they do chores but what you and your husband are doing is nothing short of child slavery/ abuse
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I used to have to do chores when I was growing up, my mother was quite demanding that I did the chores rather than my brothers because ’ I’m the girl’! . I grew up resenting my mother and we had an awful relationship which carried on after I left home and got married. Is it worth losing your kids love because of a few chores. Just to add, what might just seem like words to you, is classed as verbal abuse. if you can, you should step in and stop him
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These are your children not your recruts. You both do no chores???. Its time you listened to your children. No chores no pay that’s their choice to make. It things Dont get any less regimented you will have ruined your relationship with your children and maybe damaged them for life.
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Your husband is a controlling bully and this is abuse, which you are condoning and joining in with . Your children will grow up and have their own, and they will not want to have a relationship with you or your husband . You reap what you sow
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Wow, this is sickening. I feel sorry for your poor children. They are your children, not your housekeepers! If ANYONE, including my husband, belittled and yelled at my children they would be OUT of our lives. Your kids are all going to be damaged emotionally and mentally thanks to you both. This is not parenting. This is abusing your power as parents so that you don’t have to deal with the responsibilities of being an adult, like cleaning etc. They didn’t ask for you to birth them, they shouldn’t be expected to clean up after you, it’s the other way around. Disgusting.
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I feel sorry for your children.
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No point having a spotless clean house if the kids living there aren’t happy. Sounds like ur husband may have control issues that need to be addressed.
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You praise a kid for a job done that YOU made them do, you don’t fucking have them redo it over and over to your standard. You gave birth to your slaves
There’s so much wrong here. Chores are fine but they aren’t meant to clean your home in their entity. But provide structure. You haven’t had to clean in how long it sounds like a prison if you ask me and your husband is the ring leader. Like wth
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