I’m so sorry for your loss
First, my condolences for your loss. He is your baby. If dad hasn’t been in the picture for a majority of your son’s life than it’s not his place. He chose to stay away, he chose to lose his opinion on this. The girlfriend can kick rocks and fly a kite. He is not her son. Lay your son to rest in one place. If they want some of his ashes, they can have the keepsakes made. But not splitting him 6 ways. That is unfair to him.
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He’s your son. You do what you feel in your heart is best. Do what he would want. The step mom has no say as far as I’m concerned. Prayers for peace for you and for him. I’m so sorry for your loss.
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If you choose to cremate you can split the ashes and what he does with his half is his decision and same with yours. We did this with my mothers ashes earlier this year between me and my half siblings. They got have and me and my full siblings got half and I had them placed into smaller urns for my siblings they did a bunch of urns for the half siblings and my aunt and my mothers baby daddy. But u are momma do what u feel is best
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He is YOUR son and your soon to be ex husbands girlfriend should NOT stick her nose in your business! You should just bury your son. It’s your choice noone else’s
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I am so sorry for your loss first off. I lost my daughter when she was 5 weeks old. My husband and I had her cremated so that we could keep her with us. Honestly, I don’t think that I would let anyone sway my decision. If you feeling that burying him is right, I say go with it. This is not my life however. In the end, you have to live with you. Do what feels right for you, and for your son. I’m praying for you, and sending good vibes!
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I have decided to be buried to give the people who love me a physical place to visit. I know if I pass away unexpectedly my niece will most likely cry herself to sleep on my plot.
I would just do what I saw fit. You are the mother and his dad decided to go get a new family so he should have no say and especially NOT the stupid girlfriend. SMH I am so confused as to why she feels like her opinion matters or is warranted she needs to BUTT OUT!
I am so sorry for your loss… What would your son want?
Prayers for you and your family…
Deepest condolences for the loss of your son first and foremost. Whatever you feel in your heart is right, go with that. This is your decision your ex to be’s gf has no say whatsoever. Your ex to be opted to move away and chose not to be a presence in your son’s life. That’s on him. Sending hugs and prayers for strength and comfort for you and your family and all who knew and loved your son. 
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My aunt just went through this not long ago. Her oldest just 22 passed away. She had to travel across the country to get his belongings and everything and his dad and dads family had other ideas. They were only there for show so she put her foot down and he was burried where our grandma, great grandparents are with a memorial bench to visit. He is your son, you birthed, raised and now have to say goodbye. You make the decision not the father’s girlfriend.
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Sorry for your loss , U choose.he wasn’t in his life so shouldn’t really be getting a say , if u want to bury your son then do it and don’t worry what anyone else thinks
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What! Its ur damn kid who cares what she wants
He’s your son, you raised him, you do what’s necessary and your heart dictates. My sincere condolences, may your son RIP🙏
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U remember who his mama is and let her heart lead the way. All my love and prayers
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I had my Son cremated 2 years ago. It depends on the persons size how much ashes you get. At the time my son was 6ft and weighed 200 lbs and I got about 13 lbs. I had plenty to share since most just wanted enough for necklaces I had enogh to put in my urn and sprinkle. I hope this helps. Bless you and may your Son rest in peace.
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I am so sorry for your loss . I cannot even comphrend the hurt of losing a child. When it comes to conflict I Agee since she is not the legal wife , you the mother should make the final decision.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. The girlfriend has no say. She is NOT your sons mother. She didn’t birth him. She doesn’t have a say at all. She needs to mind her own damn business. Your ex shouldn’t have a say either if he wasn’t involved much. Ugh, this is so heartbreaking.
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That is Your Child, that woman needs to get her some Business and stay out of YOURS!!!
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So sorry you have to go through all this. As his mother and closest adult relative and if there was not a will, you can make the decisions, not his girlfriend. If you can’t afford an attorney to make sure you have the right to make this decision try to call Legal Aid in your area where legal advice is normally at a reduced rate.
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It’s his GF. I wouldn’t listen to a word she says. He left and cut him out of his life. You bury your son how you see fit.
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Honestly I would cremate and you and your ex travel to different places that your son loved and spread them there and have some in your house and your exes house. I think it would be a nice idea.
If cremated NEVER split the ashes I believe the person will never be at rest 
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May be narrow minded and I cannot even imagine to relate, the pain you must be going through. You made him, you created your sons life and you carried him and nurtured him while being pregnant with him. Its absolutely your choice what happens to your boy. It has nothing to do with anyone else xx
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Girlfriend has zero say. I planned and had sole say so in my daughters funeral
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You dont descremate the dead 
keep him in one piece its not up to you to satisfy their selfishness
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Let everyone have a little bit of his ashes and bury the rest of him. There’s very cool memorial things you can have made with just a little bit of ashes
The gf has no place in your son’s rest
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She has absolutely no say in what happens to your sons remains and by the sounds of it, neither does his father. You do whatever you need to do and forget the rest.
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That’s your son!!! Her fault for kicking him outta her life. Don’t even let her have a say so.
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I am sorry for ur loss. I think it’s your choice what you want to do and what your son would want. Though if you are worried that your ex will win or cause alot of trouble then I am sure you can find someone with a log fire who would be willing to give you some ash. May sound awful but it makes everyone happy. I would be concerned if they weren’t part of his life alive how long will they care about his ashes until they are lost or discarded anyway.
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I’m sorry for your loss. I had a still birth last August and me and his dad “dont” live together. Hed never ask me split his ashes, it just seems wrong 
if he was a absent father he has no right at all x
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Bury him…he’s your son, and you should do what you want!!!
Your his mother and the one who raised him. That girlfriend is nothing to your angel. I say this only based on your story but sounds like dad didnt really care until care until your son passed away, so I also say his opinion is to be like a suggestion. You looked after and raised that baby, you were there the whole time. You lay him to rest the way you want to, not anyone else. Cremating and splitting him is what someone else who isn’t his mother wants. You want to lay him in the ground to rest, then you do just that mama. That’s your angel, not hers.
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Your son will always be with you in your if it comforts other people to have his ashes why not let the hate go you’ll feel better in the long run.
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No splitting u would not cut his body in half for dad to go bury somehere rlse keep the body whole one piece
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She doesn’t have a say. It is between you and the father.
Let him rest the way he would have wanted but splitting would have to be agreed by the parties.
Did he give an indication of what he wanted?
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The girlfriend should have no say
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So sorry for your loss can’t imagine what your going through. In my opinion the girlfriend has no say he’s your son and certainly wouldn’t be splitting the ashes. Take care
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No one should be split up
She has no say. You do as he wasn’t in your kids life … put your feet down sista, what would your son want?
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You raised him you do what you see fit…
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what are his wish’s did u ask the gf or did he talk to u about it
Im so sorry for ur loss! There is nothing worse than losing a child! But…Y r u asking complete strangers??! You’re his mother! It’s your choice n YOURS ALONE!
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Lay him to rest as you wish.
He left, he has no say.
You don’t split him up like a
Slice of cake. You be respectful of his body and do as you see is right y your son.
This isn’t a fight. Tell him you’re burring him.
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Girlfriend has no fucking say. That’s your son not hers. Take them to court if you have to.
He Wasn’t There So He Wouldn’t Have Say So In Nthn
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Its not her to get involved, its our and ex child. Do what you think is best
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She has no business in how your son is laid to rest and you tell her that!! This business is between you and YOUR husband (regardless of together or not), the father of your child. This is the parent’s decision and no one else’s. Tell her this in front of him so he also knows you will not and he should not, be dictated to over something so personal by the girlfriend!!
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Keep the love in more than one version. Grief and death are hard. I hope you can feel good about what ever decision happens. Sometimes it’s okay to just let the memory of someone be in multiple places, rather than one.
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I am so sorry for your loss. You are his mother, she was his girlfriend not his wife. It is your decision ot hers. Splitting him in 6 sounds horrible and reminds me of Greek mythology when 2 mothers are claiming 1 baby as their own. He’s your baby, not hers. Do whatever you can to bring some peace to your family. Big hugs
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First of all I send you prayers for your loss and may your son rest in peace .
Second if he wasn’t married its your decision on how to put him to rest
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You are talking about ash not the person. I think they are at rest when they leave the body they lived ln.
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So sorry for your loss!!
You are his mum and have always been around
YOU do what you want xxxx
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s none of her concern what you do it’s your son, and either your ex can get on board or not but ultimately you can make that decision without anyone.
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I lost a baby at 24 weeks my ex sulked when we split wanted his ashes my mother put pressure on me from day one after I lost the baby for somewhere for her to visit. I to this day stil have his ashes in a beautiful box. Its a personal thing ur his mum and its up to u how u preserve his memory and handle things noone else.
Your his Mother the other woman has no say so and if his father was not in his life then you should be the only one making decisions for your child who you raised and he spent his life with you so you would be the only one that knows what he would want. Bury your child let him be at peace and do not let anyone tell you any different. My thoughts and prayers are with you
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He shouldn’t have any say in what you are to do with your sons remains (I’m so sorry) he left you and him and if he was here I’m pretty sure he’d be saying the same thing you raised him you should keep him x
Oh my goodness me he’s not a piece of cake. Please do what you think is right by your son. I am so sorry for your loss 
all the best
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If he wasn’t there for him in life, he doesn’t deserve him in death.
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Its none of her business.
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I know of people who have split their loved ones ashes between the family…I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here…He will still be at peace no matter what is chosen…sorry for your loss…
You talk about that relationship stuff so passionately yet nonchalantly about a dead child. Bury him how you want. What do you mean his girlfriend wants…she has no say especially if dad was not in the child’s life.
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Your his mother , do what you feel is best don’t let anyone make that decision for you .
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I’m so sorry for your lost. Please follow your heart and have NO regrets, bury your son as YOU wish not as irrelevant people desire. Give yourself closure and allow yourself to grieve.
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She has no right!! He is low 4 letting her suggest this. I’m assuming she’s asking for 6 so her children will have some ashes? We’re they even close? She sounds bizarre!! He’s ur son. It’s ur choice. My son just passed. I gave his girlfriend n cousin enuf ashes 4 a memorial necklace. His sisters will get a portion n his brother will keep the rest. Eventually in spring some will b scattered on his grave plot once his headstone is put in place.
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Your his Mother and you gave birth to him and brought him into this world. He’s your Son, it’s all up to you. You do what’s right for you Son like you would always do 
I’m sorry for your loss, couldn’t imagine what your going through. No mum should have to loose a child… sending my love 
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Sorry for you loss I lost my son last October dad wasn’t around so I made the decision to have my son buried, your his mum you do what you want and what you think your son would want, again I’m so sorry for your loss sending love
So sorry 4 ur loss. I lost my 13 year old son 3 years ago. Dis woman absolutely no right 2 tell u wat 2 do. Ur his mother not her, discuss wit ur close family and decide. How wud she like it if shoe on d other foot. Xxx
You are his mother - bury him and let him be at rest . Split him into 6 ??? What on earth is she thinking of . He’s not food to be divided amongst others . You brought him into this world , so you decide how he leaves it . Bury him !! So sorry you lost your son .
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So very sorry for your loss. That is enough for you to have to go through. If his dad was not in his life for so long he has no right to insist on anything As for his GF I would just ignore her. I would not be splitting my sons ashes for no one. But you go with your heart you are his mum 
sorry for your loss. Bury him so he can rest all together.
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My son passed almost a year ago , he was cremated then had them split in half for his dad and I. What they do is their choice and you as well. He wasn’t really around either but it was his son too. His dad has many, many children and I have 3 other’s. My son is in his urn nobody has asked for any ashes past the girl he was engaged to and I let her fill an urn necklace. I’m so sorry for your loss regardless.
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I’m sorry for your loss hun. Did you guys ever talk about what he wanted to do? I feel like that is always an important conversation to have.
I think he should be buried
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Um why would his girlfriend have any say so whatsoever??? It’s YOUR child…Is this a serious question??? 
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When my MIL’s sister passed, they had her cremated and split the ashes into various pieces of jewelry for her kids, sister and then they also scattered her ashes. I’m told it brings some comfort to carry a piece of their loved one with them— and the scattering of ashes at a memorable place also gives them somewhere to go and reflect— outside of a cemetery which some people find cold and uninviting. The decision is yours— not hers. If you will feel more at peace laying him to rest you way… then that’s what you should do. But try to consider all the options for their own merit and try not to let who’s suggesting it cloud your judgement.
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He is your son and it should be your choice.
I lost my daughter 15 years ago and I use to take her flowers often for the first few years I only go a few times a year now. My friend lost her Dad and she rented a boat to drop his ashes in tampa bay it was beautiful! And now every time im there i think of him we seen dolphins out there and it was peaceful knowing he was out there with them.
I was only 18 when I lost my daughter. Then I did not want her body turned to ashes but now I almost wish I would have to remember her in a beautiful place of my choice and not a grave yard. Im sorry for your loss and you should do what you feel is best.
Bury him, ask for hair locks from the funeral house give them a hair lock instead or handprint x
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I personally wouldn’t want my loved ones asses split. It makes me unsettled and I comfortable
Depending upon the laws in our states … I believe she does not have rights to the body of your son… only spouse and or parents, can make decisions… please check the state statute for information…the funeral home can also help…
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Who was named as his next of kin ? I’d say the final decision was theirs unless the deceased left instructions
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My almost ex and I are disagreeing on how to lay our son to rest, help!?
So my best friend passed last November. They had her ashes put in 25 different “shells” that look like sea shells that melt when they are put in water. Once in the ashes come out like glitter. She gave them to her family and us 5 best friends. We got to take ours to the beach of our choice. Her husband did this for us without us knowing until the funeral and then gave them out to us. I got two…one for the beach, and one to take to our land and put in our stream. It was the most selfless act of kindness I have ever seen.
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Dad’s girlfriend has no say.
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I’m sorry but you are mother and if girlfriend had no involvement in his life this shouldn’t even be a debate on what you and him decide. I could have read that wrong but I think you need to set some boundaries with her and do what you feel you need to do and what you think your son would have wanted💜 Prayers to you and I’m so sorry for your loss.
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If you were to go with cremation, I would only split with your husband. If you want to give a small amount to your other children I’d recommend that and he can do with his what he wishes
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Honestly, he’s already at rest. What is done with his remains is for the living. If he was with her then he cared about her thoughts and feelings. We split my mom between the ones who desired to have their own ceremony in her honor and it worked. My daughter’s father committed suicide and his mother was kind enough to give my daughter and I necklaces with a bit of his ashes inside.
My mom and my daughter’s father were always with their loved ones in spirit when they were alive and it makes sense that a piece of them be with them now that they are gone. Imo…
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First off I am terribly sorry for you lost, my love and prayers are being sent to you!!
Second I feel if he was not a stable person in your sons life why does he deserve a say in how you lay him to rest?
I do not think I could split the ashes either I really don’t. I didn’t even want them splitting my big brothers ashes and in the end my mom did not split his either. She felt like it was not right to take a part of him away from the other
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First, my deepest sympathy for your loss, that is a pain I don’t know. Personally I agree with those that say you were the primary parent in his life, you have total say in his burial. Do you know his wishes? At 18 I don’t he ever thought about it, but try to do what he would want or would best honor him and most especially give your self a place to go to feel close to him when you need to. It’s a tense situation but be strong in what you believe and want.
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Samantha Paschen I had to read it many times. There are many factors. Is the new girl friends kids his? Maybe your and his kids could careless since he wasn’t in their lives. Are you wanting the opposite of what she wants just being spiteful?
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Have a discussion with the dad. My personal belief is , the ashes stay together. Or only blood relatives receive ashes. I am so sorry for your loss and that you are having to decide this. I pray you can lay him to rest for your grieving and peace.
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Your “youngest”… and they r wanting six ways? I’m assuming mum , dad, stepmom, and their three kids?? What about YOUR other children? The siblings in his life ALL his life?
No, the gf needs to not be selfish. If anything, at absolute best, I’d keep him as a whole, and maybe have a TINY bit put in a locket or something for each person (minuscule) if it’s THAT important for everyone to always have a part of him. Otherwise no I think he should be able to rest.
At the end of the day only you have a say if his dad wasn’t around thru his life growing up imo. But definitely no more than U and his father, and siblings he grew up with all his life… would I personally consider input from (or maybe nan n pop if they were in his life). But definitely NOT the GIRLFRIEND of a dad who wasn’t even around. SHE IS NOT HIS PARENT N HAS NO RIGHT. U do what U feel is best and right by your son. Don’t let ANYONE pressure U.
Am so sorry for Ur loss, hold Ur head high n think of the good times and blessing of Ur son’s life. Sending big hugs Ur way. Rip young man. Fly high x
As his mother, and I assume next of kin, follow your heart and do what you feel is right. If you want to lay him to rest, let it be so. However, you may consider giving them a lock of his hair as a token. Condolences.
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If it was my child absolutely no girlfriend/wife would have any say in knowing what my child would want. Do what you feel is right and if anyone thinks otherwise don’t bat an eye in knowing your fulfilling what YOUR child would want. I’m so sorry for your loss and hope you find some kind of peace thru this
I think his birth mom should be the only one making the decision. She brought him into this world, he should go out the way she chooses (since I assume your son was not married).
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If I were in your shoes and it was my son, I would be damned if anybody but me even had a say! Mama, I think laying him to rest is the best decision here.
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
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Perhaps the best way to honor him is for everyone who loves him be peaceful and supportive of each other in their grief.
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Both parents need to sign release papers to have the body cremated and ashes released. I’m so sorry for your loss, good luck.
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Tough one to decide imo. But yours and dad’s decision is what matters. Sit and discuss it calmly and rationally. Respect each other’s feelings and opinions. It’s a tough time for you both and you don’t want to say things you’ll regret later