I lost my son almost 10 years ago. He was 20 when he passed.
I don’t have the answer for you but I’d say do what feels right to you. When my son died, my ex and I didn’t get along and had been divorced and remarried for many years. We were able to come together and agree on everything together… as my son deserved… we respected each other’s grieving.
My son was well loved and many many grieved for him but truth and reality is… others will grieve and then eventually forget but the parents grieve forever. I would respect or let the girlfriend know her feelings have been heard but at the end of the day, it’s your choice.
DO NOT and I repeat… DO NOT turn his passing turn into drama! Figure it out…
Are u saying that’s what he is deciding or the gf? If it’s the gf her decision means nothing bury your son smh & also my condolences & prayers for your family
So so sorry for your loss 
I believe that because he came into this world as a whole he should be put to rest as as a whole.
Not an easy decision. I also feel, listen to your heart and what your hearts telling you and what your son would want!!
I think he should be buried at the burial site you would like him to be buried at and if the father wants to go see him at that burial site then so be it I don’t think that young soul should be separated in six different ways I believe he should be in one spot I may not know you but I send you a great big hug and hope this gets figured out
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Put your foot down! That’s YOUR son you went through all the pain and labour for your son so you should have the last say! Please bury him and don’t divide anything. If he has a grave then anyone can visit him. Don’t give up and don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your son. Talk direct to his father and tell him that’s what u want! God have mercy on him, I wish you all the best x
This kid is only 18, how in the world is some young gf having any say whatsoever over his body, unless she was married to gim or had bn with him for yrs, she wld hv absolutely no say, if it were me and ny kid.
So the father if im reading this correctly left with him gf and her children out of state and hasn’t had anything to do with your youngest child that passed? If that is correct they have absolutely zero say in what happens to him. Now personally I think if he ever mentioned what he’d want id do that but if not if bury him. From one momma to another im so sorru I can not imagine the pain you feel. Im sending so many prayers and love
I’m assuming the 6 way split is one to each underage child of the dad’s gf, dad’s gf, dad, and mom……Absolutely not.
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Oh naw aint no way she would have any say so what so ever! I would do what puts your heart at peace. You are his mother and he chose to follow her and not be around. If you want a grave to visit then that is how it should be done. She has no legal right to call any shots about any of it. As for the husband, he has already walked away married or not he chose to not be around so I wouldnt even consider it.
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So sorry for your unfortunate loss. I do not think the girlfriend has a say in this deeply painful decision. You raised him, ultimately, this should be between you and his father, or you alone. If his ashes are to be split, it should go to yourself and his father. I hope that helps. I know this has to be a hard time for you right and I can’t imagine your pain, just don’t allow anyone without an actual say, dictate this process. I wish you well.
Everyone has a say about what to do with the ashes. The gf has zero say. I would speak to the ex and see his views. Some people want ashes put into jewellery etc. Ultimately, it is the next of kins choice.
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She’s not his mother you are! You have the say because you didn’t up and abandoned your kids for a spouse. My sons father left for like two years came back for a month then left for some girl and her two kids and he thinks he has a say in what I do with my kids. I tell him all the time you left again. I let you come move back thinking it was good for the kids but it did more damage then good. He doesn’t do anything to show he wants to he in their life besides text me some times telling me to tell the kids he loves and misses them. My oldest wanted to stay at their grandmothers house for the summer I said that’s fine so their dad will go and see him because he is at his mothers house but will go weeks without talking or seeing my youngest. He asked me if I could drop my youngest off at his moms house because he wanted to take them to a wrestling match and I said that’s fine but before Sunday he went a month without calling or texting to see how he’s doing. We don’t text unless it’s about the kids but his new girlfriend doesn’t like him talking to me at all it giving me money for the kids. Before he left to date her he had no problem giving me money every month but a couple months after they started to date he would literally pick fights with me and not give me any money and his last excuses on why he isn’t giving me money is because I claimed both the kids on my taxes because I needed too move and by all new furniture and stuff and told him that and he said that’s fine even tho I didn’t even have to say anything to him but let him know so he didn’t claim a kid. I said it doesn’t matter how much I got they are still your kids too. As soon as you’re ex up and left especially for someone els and picked her over his kids he lost all say in what you do! You do what you want! And I didn’t write what I wrote to take anything away from your situation I wrote it to let you know you are not alone! I am so sorry to hear about you’re son I couldn’t imagine the pain you are going though but as his mama you know what’s best and what he would want! The dad’s girlfriend is just that his dad’s girlfriend she has not one say in what you do with you’re child you have raised and raised on you’re own! You are amazing and do what you want. And if you need to talk please please don’t hesitate to message me. I have no words for you’re situation but I’m a good listener! Best of luck!
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Your under 18 son had a girlfriend with 3 underage kids…or are you talking about your ex? Because you mention him not being in his kids life…unless your minor child had kids?
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Not the girlfriends business. I’d do what you want and feel is right. I’d personally agree with you and lay him to rest all together in one place 
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My opinion might be different if he was part of this child’s life but I say bury this child if that’s what you want to do. Since you did 100% of the parenting, you should get a hundred percent of that decision.
It’s your decision, you are his mother no one else
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I would just do whatever I had planned. Dad’s girlfriend has no say.
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All of these comments, wow.
It takes 2 people to bring a child into the world, the mother didn’t wake up one day and decide to get pregnant on her own. The father has just as much right as the mother.
More mothers need to understand that.
But the girlfriend has zero say, she had no hand in bringing him into the world.
The decision needs to be made between you and the father.
Maybe try a mediation session and try to come to some agreement that way.
Just remember, he’s not just your son.
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Nope all up to you tell her to eat sh** and so sorry for your loss mama x
Girlfriend has ZERO FREAKING SAY. split 6 ways??? Wtf is wrong with him?! His girlfriend should have ZERO IMPACT ON YOUR DECISION.
Bury him. The other people In question are more than welcome to visit his grave at their own leisure.
Do they have any children together? My daughters father died last summer in a car accident. My daughter was 3 at the time and was given a necklace that contains his ashes. So sorry for your loss.
Let him rest in peace. One piece. . Don’t split. That’s stupid. He came into this world as one not six. He didn’t care then he gets no say now.
Ur 18 yr old sons gf has 3 kids or ur ex’s gf has the kids? But either way u as the mother have final
Say as he was not married
Your son and they were never married
I’m thinking it’s her husband that passed.
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Funeral director here, if you choose to split I recommend small urns. The remembrance jewelry literally only has a pinch of cremains if that. It’s a minuscule amount that families don’t realize.
At the same time if you’re wanting a burial, would that be out of state away from the family he was living with? Just something to consider. Also since the 18 year old was unwed it is equally the mother and fathers decision on disposition. No one has more right over the other, even if one parent was out of the picture.
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Hey, momma. First, I am deeply sorry and give my dearest condolences.
My honest and brutal opinion, you should do what YOU believe needs to be done. If you honestly feel like burying your child is what’s best, go for it. I wouldn’t want to split him 6 ways between others. I believe in you. That’s your baby. Keep your head up, love.
This is ur child sister u brought him n2 the world u decide how he goes out… I couldn’t imagine prayers sweet lady
Bury him whole. Wherever he’s buried, its keeping him alive n loved in your heart that really matters
He didn’t have time to be a dad and now want part of him sorry no no no .
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My heart says bury him. They can always visit his resting place instead of splitting him up 
so sorry for you loss x
Do what makes the most of his surviving family happy. He surely doesn’t care
I wouldn’t spilt anything. That was horrible of her to suggest that.
You are his momma, bury your baby how you want. He nor hid gf should have any say so seeing he abandoned his children.
Prayers with you.
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This is why people need wills!
Only u should decide prayers to u
Locks of hair to all that loved him and bury him
In my faith we believe when you die you’re in a state of sleep and know absolutely nothing so I believe laying your loved one to rest is based on what will help you the most in the grieving and healing process especially if you are the one paying for it. On the other hand if you believe your son is already in some sort of after life and will be aware of how he will be laid to rest and he voiced before his death how he wanted that done then respect your son’s wishes.
Well, I’m gonna say, I’m sure he loves him in his own way. I know y’all moved on and regardless of the split I know he has to love him just as much.
I’m not saying he’s been great parent and just leaving you to deal with everything.
If I were you, I’d bury him like you wanted. You have had to deal with it all so I say your choice and just him included in all funeral arrangements. I am so sorry for your loss, I know those words don’t help right now but just know you’re being thought of. That as a whole is a stressful situation.
My condolences but in my opinion he’ll rest either way but I wouldn’t divide it 6 ways you get 1 half he gets the other and he is free to do what he likes with it
You are his mother. Do what you want. If you want a funeral and bury him, you have a funeral and bury him. Do not let anyone tell you what to do with your child.
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Your son basically lived a torn life with his dad being away and seeing mom broken, why should he think of putting his son through this one last time? The girlfriend doesn’t have a say in it unless she thinks she birthed him!
Let your son to rest and don’t let your problems affect his send off. Tell your ex and his girlfriend they are vile for even considering splitting his ashes, he was a whole man and let him remain whole for the rest of eternity for once.
You make the choice that gives you peace. Not that death involves peace, but…. Heck no. I’d let that woman she better make herself silent and invisible. The nerve of some people!
If he wasn’t married it isn’t her decision
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What did your son want? Ask the person that was closest to him. That is your answer, regardless of what you want. If he is cremated, you can still bury him. But his kids could have some memorial jewelry.
Don’t cave to his GF wishes you are his mother and you have done the work, you get to choose not them. Don’t back down mama stand your ground whether they like it or not.
Maybe together focus on what you think your son would want… would be want to be with everyone or whole at rest
If your still married to him, then it’s up too you to decide what happens. That’s the way it works here in KY anyways. It don’t matter what she wants if your still his wife even tho separated. It’s up to you.
You’re his Mom, you already said what’s best… No splitting
You lay your son to rest!!!
You are the only one who has a say f them
If his dad wasn’t around then he doesn’t get a say, dad’s gf definitely doesn’t get a say. Do what you want done with him if he didn’t express his own wishes previously. I’m so sorry for your loss.
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Sorry the word split is throwing me off. Hes still a person. But bury him and maybe his dad will come visit him that way. I’m sorry for your loss
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Sorry but your his mum an his dad moved away to a different state so he has no say an I really couldn’t split my child if they past 6 ways that’s just cruel, I’d have a funeral my way or the way I’d think my son would want
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When my boyfriend died back in 1987 I didn’t have a say in anything. We did not have children together but it has always been my understanding that it would be the legal spouse who would have the final say. If they were not married, the decision and responsibility then goes to the next of kin which would be the parents. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your son. I hope everything can be resolved and your family can be at peace with whatever decision you make.
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Frick everyone else. You raised him. No one has a say, put your foot down. He doesn’t get split. His ashes remain together and he gets put to rest. Sorry I just get really strong greetings for kids.
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Girlfriend can can have an opinion but that all she can have… Your mama you do what you think is right and if no one else likes it who cares. Im sorry for your loss and hope he finds God 
I don’t even know what to say or advise but I am so deeply sorry.
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Cremate him & have a burial spot for you & yours and allow him to have his small amount he wants. So sorry for his loss.
I would split half with his current significant other and let her decide what to do with that half.
As a mom,I’ve lost babies during pregnancy,I had them cremated in case I ever left my state,I’d always have my sons with me.
My husband will be cremated,no matter what his mom says. Even when we were just dating. Because I wanted to keep his ashes to split between his kids and myself.
(I’ll be cremated myself)
Whoa this is super sad. I have nothing to say except I hope there’s healing 
He’s your son not her husband
Yes my condolences to you may he Rip.
Lay him to rest to hell with the others!! #mamabear
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I’m with you on this
Bury him he will be at peace 
Id bury him. U need to do what u want. And my dear im so so sorry this happened. My heart and prayers go out to u. Sending u lots of luv and hugs
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Do what your heart tells you…
Bury him and let him rest. Prayers for you
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He is YOUR baby,you do as your mama heart feels♥️
Maybe try taking this question to Stares In Mortician
I think mama gets to choose.
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YOU should be the one to decide, we as mothers bring them into this world we should decide how to let them rest
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Bury him … and tell her if she carries on with her bs there’s a hole being dug so if she wants to shair that bad she can get in it to… this is ur baby not hers … sorry for ur loss hun
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Both parents are going to have an opinion on the action to take. Both should be weighed in. Not the girlfriends opinion. Maybe find a neutral family member to weigh in
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As he’s mother the decision should be yours to make. But, I would check with he’s close friends to see if he ever mentioned what he wanted.
He might have mentioned something to them.
You can chose other options like having he’s handprint framed for them instead.
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This is a discussion that you and the father need to have without the girlfriend. She really doesn’t need to be a part of this. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope yall get everything worked out
Keep him whole, you’re his mother, screw what anyone else wants, you were the constant and forever, his sperm donor took his leave with no consideration to his kids…or their mother…he should be thankful you’ve included him at all. Pay no attention to what anyone else wants, do what you want to do. Pieces of your child are to be given away? Too morbid for me, id bury my child.
This is between you and his father. You both need to sit down and come to an agreement. I’m so sorry for your loss!
Sorry for your loss. Did he ever say anything about what he would want? If so honor that. If not try to work something out with his father. The parents have the last word
Dads girlfriend has no say and can fuck off.
You gave birth to him…you plan how he’s left afterwards🥰
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As a father it should be up to both parents what happens. If he should not be considering his girlfriends feelings in Themis matter the death of a child is hard enough on both parents. Both parents can win here. She can cremate the body and split it in half so the father can have some of his son and do what he wishes with them. The mother can bury her half. It’s not ideal but the father should have a say in this as well. I hope I never have to have this discussion with my ex. I’m sorry for your loss
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First off I’m am so so sorry your going through this. I truly couldn’t imagine losing my baby son also 18 years old. My heart goes out to you. Now what YOU want is the only thing that matters. You raised that boy. You stayed when his dad left. Anything and everyone to help you cope. Your ex should see that. If he was a good man he could only want you to have what you want. Since he’s not a good man, girl fight for what you want. Whatever is in your heart. What you want for your son is what should be done. Best wishes. So sorry. With love.
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Bury your son she has no say so
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Let your son rest, if they want to visit they can, I am so sorry your going through this x
I’m so sorry for your loss. If I’m reading this correctly your son’s father wasn’t in his life? The father’s current girlfriend has no say in the matter whatsoever and the father can give his opinion but the decision should ultimately be yours. If dad was absent and you raised the boy then you decide…
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Wait a minute… your almost ex-husband’s girlfriend wants your 18yo deceased son’s ashes split 6 ways? Almost ex whom has had little involvement with your son… and girlfriend has her own children.
Please don’t waste your time or energy giving her opinion or want a single thought. He is yours, she has her own.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of your heart and pay no mind to others during this time. You do what you feel is right and what you need. Your son, I am sure, will watch over the situation and support you. Your loss trumps all else here. She seems selfish, and as a mom herself, should know better than to try to be involved or get a vote in this decision.
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If u go with cremation u can get small vials and put some of his ashes in it and put the remaining ashes un a bigger vale and let the mother have it. We did that with my mother. Still it’s your decision if he wasnt married to make.
Sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine 
The dad and the new gf should have no say. He left and chose not to be a dad so he forfeit his privileges in making those kind of decisions.
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Hon, they were not married therefore she has no rights…bury your baby! Take her to court for ur rights to have relationship with ur grandchildren…she sounds evil!
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Shame on that evil girl!
Your his mumma regradless u decide
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I am so very sorry for your loss, first of all, why does your ex even get a say? Who does she want to give his ashes to? You do what you want for your son, if you want to bury him, you do just that. She has absolutely no say in the matter.
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So sorry you have to go through this. My opinion is he was not part of your son’s life so he should not have a say. But if your heart leads you to be kind. Then maybe split the ashes two ways not six. Also I hope he is helping in the financial part with half of the expenses. Again my heart goes out to you. Trust yourself and follow your heart
If they are his kids with her then I agree split him so the kids can have some ashes if they aren’t his kids bury him like you wish
If she cares so much about that tell her she’s more than welcome to visit him where you have chosen to let him rest. End of story. Don’t waste a second of your time worrying about her need to divvy ashes he’s your baby
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