He wasn’t even in his life. Bury your baby as you see fit. If he wanted to make decisions like a father he should have stuck around and been a father. It’s already something no parent ever wants to decide and he shouldn’t be making it harder for you. My condolences for the loss of your son.
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I totally agree with you.Nobody needs to be devided up.Let him rest in peace totally together
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Don’t be afraid or ashamed to do it the way you want! Splitting him up is “to me” is unconscionable and will have a major bearing on your mind for the rest of your life. First off because you’ll never feel he is at rest and second everytime it crosses your mind you’ll think of your son and then her and then the dad and then the whole situation repeatedly. Your mind will never get to rest from the loss, which is traumatic enough in itself. If there is not legal bearing in who gets to decide, you make a firm decision and stick to it, with no doubts! I know there’s a father that should matter, but you are the person that knows if he truly matters in regards to your sons ending. If the decision can be made without the father go make the burial decision without telling him and simply say the funeral is planned and done, there’s nothing else to discuss. If he has a legal standpoint, then that’s going to be tough to persuade him. I feel like if his life was chaos in anyway, dividing up would be chaos still, all over the place no rest. Idk that’s just how I feel, everyone has different views. Hope you figure it and follow your gut! Wish you well.
I agree with what Ashley said,bury him.
Nope, gf has absolutely no say!
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THIS IS THE PARENTS DECISION!!!
NOONE ELSE!
Do what you feel is right in your heart.
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If he has hair just give them locks of hair… if you want to avoid any drama, they should be content with that . But honestly they are 3 under 3 years old they do not know him and the “adults” should respect your wishes
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I am so sorry for your loss. You lay your son to rest as you feel best. That chick gets no say. None. You be strong and do what you want to do for your son. Your husband sounds like an ass. How dare this woman think she has any say in anything… I am so sorry for what you’re going through.
First …I am so sorry for your loss! No parent should have to bury their child, my heart aches for you. Second this is your son and if the father wasn’t around I’m guessing the younger kids don’t know him and there is no point in accommodating something they won’t understand or appreciate. Do what you think is best and what your son would have wanted. That’s what is most important mama! Hugs!!! 
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You’re momma, you make the decision.
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YOU were the one who carried him for nine months… YOU are the one who spent countless hours in the delivery room - bringing him into the world.
YOU had been the one to raise him.
If his dad had been absent from his life thus far and practically chose another person over his own child, then in my opinion- he should be absent in planning his final resting arrangements.
As for his fathers “girlfriend“ - rather or not the children are by your sons father- she needs to have a seat someplace. She has no business putting her nose in affairs that are NONE of her business.
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I personally couldn’t live know my child’s ashes were “split up”. Doesn’t seem right. You are suffering the worse heartache ever so do what brings you the best comfort in your soul
My condolences for you and your children… Your son your wishes
Your the mother.! So you do what you as mother think what is best for your son. My condolences to you and much love
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My heart goes out to you, mama. Do what you know in your heart, what you know is best, and decide to stick to that decision, no matter what comes against you and don’t let anyone make you second guess your opinion.
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you gave him life. he is yours. you get the say.
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Hes your baby, momma. You dont worry about anything else, but what you feel is right. If dad was mia he was mia. You were there tho, so you know in your heart of hearts what is best
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Bury him then who wants to see him can. But really you the mother.
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What did he want. I would suggest asking the girlfriend. I want to be cremated. My mother believes in an open casket if possible. I would be so hurt if my family went against what I wanted. We aim to respect the living so why shouldn’t we also aim to respect those who passed away.
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Also, I feel as if he opted out of participating in your sons LIFE- then he should also opt out on giving his opinion on what should happen to YOUR sons final arrangements! It’s disrespectful for both the “father” and his mistress to even open their mouths to even remotely make you question or second guess what it is that YOU want. Also, ask yourself this- would your son want or value his fathers opinion? If not, do as YOU wish!
DNA doesn’t make a parent a parent nor does it automatically give one the “right” to a person that they abandoned.
I have a son that I didn’t have the opportunity to help raise due to another’s actions and her blocking me out of his life - and even though I have wanted to be a part of his life so bad, out of respect, I wouldn’t dare give my opinion on what the man and woman who have raised him and been his parents, decided.
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Tell that biotch to stfu and mind her biz😡
I’m so sorry for your loss. The girlfriend has absolutely no say in how your son will be laid to rest or cremated. I don’t understand the six way split. Your son was your baby, a human, not a piece of land or money. If he is buried, everyone will have a place to go to memorialize him. If YOU decide to cremate him, a lot of people use tiny amounts of ashes to make keepsake rings or necklaces so they feel that person is always with them… maybe that would be a better option.
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She literally has no say… You are mama. You do how you please.
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The current girlfriend has no say. It was your child and your ex didn’t seem to be involved while your son was alive so you decide. Sending big hugs and many prayers for the loss of your son.
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So sorry for your loss, and sorry you are going through this 
if he wasn’t part of your sons life than you do what YOU feel is right. Make the dad included in whatever you decide because at the end of the day it’s his son but do not let him have his way when u were the one who was there for your son till the very end xx
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My heart is breaking for you may your son rest in peace. The GF has absolutely no say in how your son should be laid to rest. The decision is up to his parents noone else. If your ex wasn’t part of his life then really you should decide what you want to be done.
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You are the next of kin. You get to decide. Some mom’s are fine with this and some are not. Do what feels right to you and what you believe would honour him.
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If all you say is true your X has no say, it is up to you!!!
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In my opinion a person is truly not at rest if it’s not all of them. They came into this world whole and should be at rest the same.
You have primary custody obviously and the decision should be yours only. This is my view others may differ.
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Its your son! My heart goes out to you and im sending hugs but as a mother, you should lay your son to rest and let him be at peace.
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Some people feel better having a pice of there loved one close to them. My grandpa died a month ago and we all got memorial necklaces to put some ashes in. We all wanted him close to us. It’s really about what he wanted and not what you want. For all we know the girlfriend is trying to honor his wishes. You all need to come together and put the past to rest so you can figure this out together. He can be cremated and still be buried after some ashes are given to loved ones. Then everyone gets what they want.
She has No say. And her thinking is way off anyway. I’m sorry for your loss too. Prayers and hugs.
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I would put the girlfriend’s opinion on what should be done somewhere lower on your priority list than the 855 comments.
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Why is always the other party fault ? You’re son choose to move there n he choose to be with her so it’s not always the gfs fault he did that on his own so stop saying it was gfs or bfs fault. But anyways if the gf has kids with your son she does a say if she was married to your son she would be the one who decides what to do if there wasn’t a will in place. So I wouldn’t spilt it 6 different ways but I would give her some for the kids sight n do what ever with rest of the ashes. But I am totally sorry for ur lost n I hope you choose the right way n not the petty way
Your kids body- Your choice on burial or cremation. The husbands girlfriend has 0 say in it. That is a conversation between you and the father- and if the father wasn’t around for much of anything- honestly I wouldn’t even let him have a say either.
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You have a say. He’s your child. They weren’t married. YOU do what YOU want to
Do what you want. GF has no say in your kids life. Father either if he was not in his life. So sorry hugs and prayers 
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Only you know - the girlfriend has no say and whilst you should listen to dad, if he did one to another state and didn’t look back then the final decision should be whatever you feel is best for him.
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Why don’t you get prints of his hand and then use that and then he can be laid to rest that way they all have a peace of him and then you get what you wish for sending big hugs xxxx
Well lets be honest here, if he had children, the children have more rites then you now, so they should get a piece of him
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I can understand if ur ex wanted a peice of him for himself and maybe some for you… but 6 ways for people who were apart of his life??? Just no… I think you need to talk to your ex. And find out what he wants as well if its his kid and he wants some ashes for HIMSELF that should be honored. He wasnt just your child. New GF has no say tho, neither do her kids.
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Make them each a necklace or bracelet keepsake with his hair in it and bury him… boom solved
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With my mom’s ashes I made lots of small baggies of her ashes, made butterfly tags with her name on them and family and friends that traveled or were in different locations around the world leave her ashes in a special place to them so she could always be in a beautiful place. (She loved to travel, saw many places but never got to go to places she wanted to go in life so she got to in death) I made a fb page for her called Where is Bernie now? 
Maybe you can turn this into something everyone can be involved with.
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I would either give him a small urn with some of your sons ashes in it or a locket with his hair in it. If you want to bury him that’s your choice, you were his momma.
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If he is to be cremated then you can share his ashes. If he is to be buried, let him rest in peace with his body intact xx
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Girlfriend has not one bit of say in what goes on.
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She has absolutely no say in what you do with your child
Especially since she decided to take the father to another state and cut ties
That is your decision
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Due to family being separated in different states and my moms wishes. She was cremated. Close family has a little bit of her , some in plants, my son has a ring.
I don’t know what others did. I think she is in a flower bed ( she loved them ) . My dad is buried in I big cemetery. My step-dad is a cow field some where.
I’m sorry you lost your baby. If you decide to cremate him, then you and his father can half the ashes, then he can do what he wants with his share. He can split his share with the his gf and the other children. However, I like the idea of getting a locket or a cremate necklace and putting a lock of his hair in it for each person. Especially if you feel strongly about burying your son. I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss. I’m sure this isn’t an easy decision to make. Look to God for answers and take of you and your other children. They need you even more right now. Prayers for the family…
IS THERE REALLY A RIGHT WAY ??? God will find us when He returns for us; no matter where we are or how many pieces. Some people are burned, blown up, buried, fed to pigs etc… GOD IS MIGHTY; HE IS OUR CREATOR AND CAN DO ALL… Id say bury your portion if it brings you peace. For the children… When they are older and understand can spread his ashes in a way that comforts them and so on. However God does warn us not to worship the dead… Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things. His girl friend is the mother to his children and to YOUR GRANDCHILDREN. One day they will want reach out to you for stories unheard about their daddy. Pray about it and do what brings peace. For blessed are tye PEACEMAKERS. (((HUGS))) Sorry for your loss… For everyone involved.
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If he get an urn, how he splits up his portion is on him, you don’t need to know.
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I don’t think the dads girlfriend should have a say in it. She was not your child’s parent!!! So sorry for your loss!!
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I’m sorry for your loss, but I completely agree with you, let your son rest. What is anyone going to do let alone with 6 bags split up? If he has kids put together a keepsake of items that were special to him and photos of there dad so they can have later when there older. When my father past away we didn’t split him we laid him to rest and his memories are with us
What did your loved one want?
Bury him. I think that’s what’s best.
Bury your son, you can make payments if you have to, i did and I make the payments by myself. I also through the grace of God saved enough to by him a rally nice head stone. I am so sorry for your loss but anyone with a heart needs to let you make this decision.
If he wasn’t married then you are next of kin so it’s your decision. You & your sons dad need to sit down & discuss. His girlfriend has no legal say in the matter as they weren’t married 
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Certainly I would let his father have something of him. That’s his father,even if he was a bad one. The gf can kick rocks though. If it really is just a concern that he won’t be able rest in peace being cremated, you have to decide your beliefs and stick to them. My opinion is that funerals and burials are for the living. He has no use for, nor connection to, his body anymore. Worry about you and his father resting in peace, because your son is at peace no matter what you do with his body… but that’s just my opinion.
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If you did allow cremation, y’all could split the ashes in half. Let your ex do what he wants and you do what you want. We buried the ashes of my step grandfather. He has a headstone and everything. However, if he has not been in your child’s life I would not let him dictate how to lay him to rest. That’s just me. My ex has had minimum contact with my bio kids for years and I don’t include him in decisions unless I’m legally required to.
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You do what you think is best for your son and his resting place.
Demand your rights as his mother . Bury your son. Splitting him six different ways is insane. You will never be at peace with that. Who is paying his funeral cost? Most likely as his mother everyone is looking at you to do that. Don’t worry about who you piss off. Your son is in Heaven, he is happy now. You are his mother. To me, your wishes is all that matters!
Sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort and peace in the coming days as final decisions are made. If your son was not married you are next of kin, but the father is still the father and should have some say too. If your son never voiced his wishes to you then it is more difficult. I know I was very close to my cousin (he was more of a best friend/brother) and he died of a drug overdose. I actually had some of his ashes mixed with tattoo ink and got a tattoo that meant something to the both of us. It is part of Romans 5:8 and says I loved you at your darkest. Just an idea, but i love that he is with me always! Any family who wanted his ashes got some so they could have closure in their own ways. His mom put some away for his daughter until she was old enough to decide what she wanted to do with them.
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May he RIP:blue_heart: If you are the Custodial parent, the GF has absolutely NOTHING to say about the arrangements. Do what you feel in your heart. You have my sympathy:smiling_face_with_tear:
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Give them a bag of ash from a fire
Keep your sons ashes yourself
No one will be wiser
All are happy
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Bury your child the way you want! The sperm donor wasn’t there all those years- he has no say! You gave him birth , you lay him to rest! Prayers for you. My deepest condolences
Sorry for your loss. But you go with what’s in your heart for your baby. You raised him. It’s your decision.
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You do what you want! The “father” wasn’t even around when your son was alive and now wants a say when he has died? NO! It’s what you want and that’s it. He has no damn say in anything period. It would be different if you two separated but he was still a good father and was around. But clearly this other women was of more importance to him then his own son. So don’t listen to him. You do what you feel is best
I am sooo very sorry for your loss , I think bury your son i understand the gf and kids are upset as well an want something to remind them of him but that can be done in many different ways like using his clothes to make a teddy bear or something may be good for the kids and gf, for dad maybe a lock of hair or something that way everyone has something to remember him by ,I hope things get better for you
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Condolences to you and your family. You should bury your son …
I am so sorry for your loss. You do what you think is right for your son period not what others want Girl friend has no say if not married I pray for you this is going to be the hardest thing you will ever have to do put him to rest the way you feel:pray:
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Bury your son lay him to REST its hard enough you doing all that and he wanting it split??? He plit when he left fuck him now 
When my son passed my ex husband’s girlfriend suggested we cremate him & split the ashes. I told her straight up that wasn’t going to happen. We did cremate him & his ashes are buried in the paternal family plot. This is something my ex & I agreed on.
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Sorry for your loss I could never let someone do this split his ashes up I would want him to be all in one place .he should be as one and whole xx
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Burn him ! Ur his mom
Give him fake ashes!
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Unless you think your son has other wishes, I personally feel no one’s ashes should be split up. Bury him or set his ashes free together. Sending prayers to you during your time of loss.
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That’s is your baby. You NEED to do what YOU see fit! I’m sorry this bitter women is causing problems with you during this tough time.
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No
Bury him so all can visit. Simple solution.
Sorry for your loss, losing a child is never easy. My son passed away 4 years ago…
If they want pieces of him, make pillows, bears, etc with pieces of his clothing. A lock of hair in a locket or a bracelet.
That’s 10x more respectful to your sons remains.
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We split my Father’s ashes. I regret it.
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You’re his mother she was simply a girlfriend, her wants are irrelevant.
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Condolences and prayers for you. If you decide to cremate your son there are several options. Some families have jewelry/picture frames that contain small amounts of their loved ones ashes. The funeral home can advise you on this if you want to do that for his father. You could also relinquish a small vile of ashes to him to do as he wishes. You are certainly not obligated to split his ashes up or even share them. Ultimately the decision is yours not the girlfriends!!
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The girl friend has no say as far as lm concerned. If the father wasn’t there then do what you think is right
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Don’t matter what girlfriend wants. It is the parents say.
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Bury your baby……it seems like you want a place to go for comfort and feeling like he’s there - as far as the gf and kids make them pillows from shirts that he had……or blankets with pictures of them all on it
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I wouldnt give his “girlfriend” anything
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If those kids are your grand babies then you should at least think about what she wants. It could get ugly. Plus he may have told her that’s what he wanted.
You birthed him your wishes count no1 elses momma hugs n prayers. You were his primary caregiver. Its up 2u2 decide what happens
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Did your son never say weather he wanted to be cremated or Buryed . Then if he did stick to his wishes
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So sorry for your loss
You bury your baby where you & everyone else can visit
She has no say what so ever if they were married it would have been a different story.
Yes was his girlfriend I totally understand but you are his mother.
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I am a bit confused. Did son’s girlfriend or ex’s girlfriend make this request? If it was son’s girlfriend and he was cohabiting with her then she is technically nok. If it’s ex’s girlfriend she has no say .
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What do you think his desires were? I think it is most respectful to burry a person, but that’s based on my personal beliefs.
My Condolence’s. 
I know people choose to split them up. However my parents were Catholic, chose cremation but they do not separate them. I am a Christian and their ashes are not being separated.
YOU are the mom. YOU were there for your child. YOU make that choice. He ran off. He lost that right and his gf is just that, his gf. She has no say in anything pertaining to YOUR child. My love and condolences to you and your family.
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We knew my husband wanted cremated…so that’s what we did
We divided the ashes between me my son and daughter the rest are in a veteran’s memorial wall at Ft Stanton
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What would your son want? It isn’t about anything else but that. If the ex wasn’t in the picture and let a woman control him then he shouldn’t have a say.
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so sorry for your loss… has your son ever mentioned if he’d want to be buried or cremated? Your ex’s gf has no say at all.
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He came into this world whole, that’s how he should be laid to rest.
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just girl friend you deside
Take it to court if you have to and tell them your religion prevents separating ashes.
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Do you know what he wanted? I know he was very young but if you know he wanted buried you can say this is what he wanted.