If your not married you need to get child support established. They will establish visitation at the same time and then you will be able to take care of baby with or without him.
Never expect anything from others… You can do it on your own ( I have been doing it for 22 years)… Collect child support… And keep a smile on your face and that babies face.
That is his choice to be present for the child or not.
He may not be obligated to physically but he will be obligated financially.
He knew that sex would lead to a pregnancy, he needs to own up to his responsibilities
Get him for child support. Why is that even a question. I was stupid not asking and my son was raised only by me and my family. Different circumstances but I should have done more. If he doesn’t want anything to do with y’all, he doesn’t have too. He still needs to pay for his child he made. You don’t need him especially if one y’all were just friends and you got pregnant and two he’s already told you he doesn’t want y’all In his life. Many kids with a single parent sometimes do way better than when the child has two.
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Even if he doesnt pay child supprt later he can take you to court for visitation/shared custody. Make him financially resposible. If he states he doesnt wantto be in childs life it will be on record and still pay. If he gets visitation meet at public place and everytime he doesnt show up get police report and or send certified letter stating day and time agreed upon and how he didnt show up ( time spent waiting on him. If you meet at a resturant, convient store, or with liaison. Get documentation. He may comply in beginning but once he sees u will meet him he may drop visitation but will have to pay. Good luck
I’m sorry but u asked for it. Should have been protected. He probably wanted sex and nothing more. And he doesn’t need to pay support. He probably didn’t ask for the kid. And if u did u should have said something in the beginning. Girls should now when the overlate. It’s not that hard to figure out. So don’t have sex that time of the month and u will not get pregnant.I know someone that’s in your boat. And I gave her the same advice.
Child support means he has rights to the child. So he can request parenting time, visitation, decision making.
He told you in the beginning he didn’t want the baby. You should have never thought otherwise. Take him for child support and leave it at that. That’s all you can do. You can’t force him to raise that child with you.
You do you! I personally let him off the hook bc I didnt want my child being exposed to someone who didn’t want anything to do with her. I dont get child support and he doesn’t bother us. That’s how I personally prefer it but it’s not for everybody
You need to take it to court for child support.
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I’m going through the same thing!! I’m only about 2 1/2 months pregnant, but he has made it clear that when the baby is born, he is signing away his rights 
It’s hard and upsetting and confusing but honestly at least he’s said so now and won’t let your child down once they’re here, which is even more damaging. My youngest’s ‘father’ disappeared when I was 5m pregnant, never saw him again and my son is now 6 1/2. I met a wonderful man who informally adopted him and is his Daddy. I made the choice to cut contact with my son’s adult sister after she started playing silly buggers and showing less and less interest. He has a family which may not be blood but mean more than genetics.
My eldest’s father walked out of his life after 5 years of emotional and psychological abuse and neglect when he was 12 and at nearly 16 he’s still emotionally scarred by it and has a lot of mental health struggles relating to that. Honestly no parent is better than a bad parent. You can do this I promise, good luck xxx
It doesn’t matter what the deal was, that baby is just as much his responsibility. If he didnt want a kid he should’ve wrapped it before he tapped it.
I would put him on child support but won’t ask nor beg for him to be in the child’s life. He should be held responsible for the baby is not only yours whether he likes it or not. But dont chase and force him to be involved.
Friends with benefits doesn’t sound like a good combination for a pregnancy, and yes perhaps he said that he would step up and maybe he will when the child is born but I guess you have to ask yourself what did you think you were going to get out of friends with benefits ?
I was married to a man that was inconvenienced by the baby we had together. I truly believe cutting off all legal ties with him was the best thing for my child. I didn’t have to deal with making her go with him if and when he decided he had time for her. Sure, child support would have been helpful, but I wasn’t willing to make his other kids’ life unlivable bc of child support (I was with him while he paid child support and let me tell you, child support is unreasonable when you are trying to live) (also, my child was the 2nd “set” of 3 sets of children) and I wasn’t willing to waste time and energy on fighting him to get it in the first place. If a man doesn’t want to be a father, then screw them and be both.
Years later, I am living my best life! My daughter is loved, she is well adjusted, she has an amazing heart. I have gone from an 18 year old dumb kid to a boss 32 year old mom with a good job, a home of my own, a new car, and a wonderful, supportive, loving husband that loves my daughter and wants nothing but her to be her beat self! And we are expecting a baby together- my second child.
You can be a kick ass mom without him. Never lie to your child, never make selfish choices bc of your hurt, never hold the child over the father’s head. At the end of the day, no matter what, that is that child’s father. And you get to help them find the best way to cope with his choices. That is your job as a parent.
Walk away put him on child support if he don’t want to be on his live his problem I when through the same 11 years ago when I got pregnant with my son very similar story I’m not going to say is easy but not impossible I hope u got ur family support like I did
It is far easier to raise your child on your own that to deal with someone who doesn’t want you. Don’t put his name on the birth certificate, don’t name your child with his name and move on. Ask me how I know! I chose to do it alone and I am so glad I did. When I married someone who loved my son and couldn’t wait to adopt him and give him his name, that was phenomenal! And I treasure the time that it was just the two of us.
I would consult a lawyer and goiter your options. If he doesn’t want to be a dad, not much you can do. You can either A) help him file to terminate parental rights or B) file for financial support (if you need it).
Having the baby is not going to magically change his mind. If you knew he never wanted the child, then deep down you knew you were going to be a single mom. You were friends with benefits. Nothing more. Why cause such a strained stressful relationship, he doesn’t want? Choosing to have a kid is just as much his right as it is yours. You chose to keep the baby and be a mother, that does not mean he is forced to be a father. Clearly he’s choosing to abandon you both. His choice and right.
You need to think about your kids future and if he would even be a good father. If he doesn’t want a relationship dont force it. LET HIM GO.
If you go for child support make sure you have him sign his rights away. Child support doesnt mean he has rights. I wish people would understand the the purpose of sex is the make babies and if you arent prepared to have kids then dont have sex!
I completely understand. Ive been through this 2x. Remember you can’t make him do anything. All you can do is worry about your and your baby and what is right for you and your baby. I havs both my children’s fathers on child support bc they had a had in creating this baby they need to be there bc babies are not cheap at all. Your life will go. You will have moments when your are mad sad angry 2nd guessing yourself and crying alot. There will be times where there is a new what if. Remember you always have a choice in what you want to do. Remember you are making the right choice for you and your situation. You have to keep your head up and surround yourself with a good support system with listening ears shoulders to cry hugs to give out and advice to give when asked of course. I was a single mom with 2 and I moved started a new job and focused on me and my kids bc let’s just say the sons father wasn’t the greatest. I did it all my own. I never relied on child support bc one minute its there and next minute its not. I was a single mom till 2009 when i met my now husband. Hes their dad and he is all they know and wouldn’t have it any other way. My belief is that if you are not wanting the responsibility of a child then he shouldn’t have been having sex in the first. I went thru both my pregnancies alone so I completely understand. You ever want to talk privately message me.
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That’s the best “help” he can give you by stepping aside. Being that type of man I would never want him around my kid.
You probably don’t see it now but you both are better off without him.
Stay strong!
Let him go but make sure he pays child support. You didn’t make the precious baby on your own.
Ask for child support but do this on your own its hard yeah but a hell of a lot harder trying to force someone to be present and NOT worth it, it will be psychologically draining and damaging to consistently be rejected, as you said it was friends with benefits nothing more, let him pay child support but file for full custody immediately after birth and have him sign over full custody when the baby is born (trust me on this one)
I was in this situation with my first child. We went through a rough 4 yrs and then I met my husband and we married. He adopted him and we never looked back.
Sorry ,not speaking from the legal angle here,but if u were adult enough to be in a friends with benefits scenario,be adult enough to not force an emotional claim.
Sorry if that hurts,but no strings means just that.
Yes get child support. You both made the baby you should both financially support the baby.
My mother always said expect nothing but speak up… I went through this sorta… ask for support, but be prepared he might leave, and if he’s not interested in the baby he might leave you to raise it but he still has to pay… my ex stopped visiting after my child was diagnosed with autism and now he’s married and has a new baby… I’m sad that my son will never know his lil brother… but maybe it’s for the best!!
Child support has nothing to do with visitation or custody. Those are separate battles. I would its to support the child.
Shouldn’t he get a choice too? You choose to have the baby… he’s been truthful and hasn’t lead you on thinking he wanted a baby. I would ask him to terminate his parental rights and go forward without any expectations from him.
First of all its not an it… Him/ her works fine. Second hes father if he chooses to see the kid cool if not thats on him. But either way he has a responsibility to help pay for the child. Also your grown ass should know better than friends with benefits.
You were friends with benefits… what did you think was going to happen here? I’m not being rude but I thought people who make the choice to be those types of friends are not the commitment type…
Holding out hope for this is only going to hurt you in the end! We have no control of others or their feelings… . You are now responsible for this beautiful life! Make it great for your baby! And move on !
Go for sole custody first, then go for child support. You probably won’t get anything, but at least he won’t be able to come after you later.
Signing away your rights is frowned upon by most judges and does not release a father from financial responsibility. Same being said in most states if a father is ordered to pay support and fails or falls behind, you cannot withhold visitation. A lot of judges then consider withholding for money is ransom. You just need to go with what is best for you and child. You can do it on your own. Not saying it is or will be easy but it can be done.
Yes and give the child your last name. It will save a lot of heartache in the future.
Get child support ASAP. He created the baby, if he doesn’t want to be involved sucks for him but he will be responsible for it.
Please don’t focus on him. It’s about the baby now. Nove forward with providing the child with the best life possible. Enjoy every smile, it will pay off
Something similar happens in my life and you can’t force someone to be anything they don’t want too not even the family and that’s okay because that baby has you and that’s all he needs sure it won’t be easy nothing ever is but the love u have for your child is all you need let him go put god in your life and look forward trust me he will get his that child will be grown all before u remember time and god and karma will take care of it all … In The meantime enjoy your Baby a dedicated mother is all he needs god guide u god be with you
Hell to the YES! Get that child support. He wants to have sex, he can step up and be responsible when pregnancy occurs. That is one of the side effects!
My personal opinion is to let him go and don’t seek child support. Don’t let him have those rights!
Yes, go to court and get child support! He has a financial responsibility to this child even though he is acting like a jerk!
He said he would set “someone up good”. He never said if he got “you” pregnant he would set you up. You got too emotionally involved in casual sex but unfortunately it happens to many women.
If you file for support, this person will be attached to your life for pretty much eternity…so ask yourself if that is something you want.
Ok bull crap, if he didn’t want a child then he should not have had unprotecteted intercourse at all. He and you are responsible for getting pregnant, he should step up, even if u r not together to help support that child.
They paint a pretty picture to get what they want and you fell for it. He was a liar from the beginning and you can’t expect much from liars!
This is what happens when you aren’t careful who you open your legs for. I mean sure most are good for a quick nut but if you couldn’t see raising a child with them then squeeze them 
together.
If he don’t wanna take his part to help raise a child . Even if it’s co parenting. I say take his butt to court for child support.
Let him go then. The lil one doesn’t need a parent that doesn’t want him. Better off. It will be hard but you can do it.
There may come a day he wants to share custody and he may have another woman by then. That is a whole can of worms
You have to decide if the money is worth it. If it were me I would ask him to sign his rights away before birth . Why would you want this kind of influence in your child’s life?
i don’t understand why a person would allow or agree with friends with benefits set up… women is always on the loosing end with that kind of set-up… self preservation and respect.
And THAT is why people need to be more discerning on who they lay down with…or at least be on birth control. Give it up and do it yourself.
I kind of agree. Let him go and do it on your own. Don’t fight with visitation rights and having to worry about your baby when you aren’t around. You got this
yes ask for child support, it took two of you to create that baby not one.
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Establish sole custody immediately after giving birth…and just give the baby your last name…and definitely get child support
Just leave him be. My ex isn’t involved with our kids and I’ve not once asked him for any money either. His loss at end of day x
If he won’t help out physically he can help out financially, you will need it!
Little does he know that whether or not he wants to be in the babies life he will be paying child support for 18 years
Yes. It took 2 to make that baby then it should take 2 to support it too.
Hell yes if he didn’t want a baby he shouldn’t have had unprotected sex with you he needs to be held responsible for him/her as well and he has to file separately for visitation and or custody
Was there an opportunity to do something earlier? Did you ignore his protests thinking he would change his mind? I’d still ask for child support, but ask yourself what you knew and when you knew it because if he said how he felt, but you ignored it, that’s on you.
Yes get support started. You’ll need that if he doesn’t want to step up and be a man.
if he’s said he’s not going to help, no point in taking him to court for something he’ll never pay. just ask him to sign his rights to the baby over and move on. not much else you can do.
Friends with benefits and now a child will pay the price for 2 irresponsible people. Welcome to the real world, time to put your big girl pants on and raise a baby or give it to someone who does want a child.
He’s obligated to pay child support… I wouldn’t be upset. That is why I don’t have fwbs…
Did you get pregnant by the normal route or a proverbial “turkey baster”? If the normal eoute, he needs ro be responsible for his actions and pay child support.
Have him sign away all legal rights as soon as possible. You wanted the baby, you plan to keep it. He never wanted it. He shouldn’t pay for the choice you made. Make sense?
You and your kid dont need him, to get thru in this world. My mom always tells me,less dogs less fleas.
Baby girl, raise that child as your own, many women do.
Put out the smoke before it starts a fire. Bypass it all and ask him to sign his rights over. If he’s already thinking that way then clearly it will be a constant battle with him if you don’t. You may regret not doing it later on, and if he does chose to be apart of the childs life, then let him… Knowing you have soul custody.
You can also request child support if he signs his rights over, btw.
Don’t name him on the birth certificate. If he wanted to be apart of the child’s life later then let him go to court and figure it out
Get the support. Your baby deserves it. As for him? Move on sistah!
Takes 2 to tango yup make him pay to support baby even if he chooses not to be present
So theres another option that ppl arent addressing… it is that the father can also opt to sign over his rights and not pay you a dime.
Go get child support or just have him sign his rights away and cut him out completely
Then yu should have taken protection, cause guys sometimes this.
Just leave him be if he doesn’t want to be in the babies life but file for support and put him on the birth certificate if you know for sure of course . But he’s financially responsible regardless if he wants to be a physical presence . I wouldn’t try to force a relationship if he doesn’t Want it , it’s only draining and hurtful just move on and enjoy your baby . But absolutely get support .
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Piss him off. In his eyes and head yous were and will only be fwb that’s all.
Of course ask for support! Why wouldn’t you?
You file for support now and he will have to pay for labor and delivery
get your butt into a lawyer office or else talk to legal aid and get a support order and get them to take it out of his cheques And also spell out anything else because I have seen to many cases where stuff that was agreed on went out the window pretty fast
This is why they say, men can be a ass hole but a women shouldn’t.
I’ve been a single mom for 6 years to kids aged 9 and 11. Their dad has 3 more kids with another woman - he pays neither of us any child support and has abandoned my 2 except for holidays, yet posts stuff about being such a good dad. He’s 15k in arrears and has been in Contempt of Court for years. Don’t count on his help, financially or otherwise, a court order won’t make a good dad out of a bad one.
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Yes go to court for child support you don’t have to do it alone financially
Leave him alone but I’d ask for child support
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Absolutely! Nail him for it. If he can get up and walk out on you and your child, then he can pay for them!
My oldest’s donor left me the minute I told him I was pregnant. He didn’t come around again till I took him to court for child support and he was forced to pay arrears.
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Let him go and go for child support if you need it. If you don’t need it, I’d personally cut all ties.
Why make him support a child he made it clear he doesn’t want.
Let him terminate his rights and YOU support that baby 
or give it to people that can
Move on with your life and definitely get child support
Get that child support check and find yourself a new Man.
Seems like you need to get you a lawyer and get child support started
Yes take him to court for child support
Of course you Sue for child support. You didn’t get pregnant alone
Protect yourself and the baby, get a lawyer.
So leave you can’t make him care maybe when he grows up he will feel better about his life
Walk away, live your life… dont fight,its to much stress
Take his ass to court or just raise your baby by yourself. You can’t make someone be an active parent.
Just remember if he financially supports your child he can at any point also request rights to that child. You can argue it in court but they will give him some kind of visitation
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Never depend on child support
The only true victim I see is this innocent child.
He can also take away his own right.