It’s funny, you can’t force a woman to be a mother (abortion, adoption or safe haven laws are options for her to walk away from a child)
But men get forced into to child support when they make it clear they aren’t ready to be a dad… Fucked up world we live in
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Yes, ask for child support. And he was never your friend if this is his response.
Just let him go and do it on your own.
Of course you should. His baby also
Move on with your life and don’t put him on the birth certificate
Might sound harsh but he did say?? You made the choice to carry on with pregnancy on your own you can’t force him to be a dad & shouldn’t really to pay child support… not really fair on him from he expressed he didn’t want this from the start…
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Screw him do it yourself if he doesnt wanna be therw
This is just my opinion and This will be harsh,
You were friends with benefits.
Ofcourse he will not want to raise a baby with you because that wasn’t on the agenda.
I feel you should cut your losses and look after your baby on your own.
This is your responsibility now.
Let me save you a big head ache. Let him walk. Don’t spend years and thousands fighting for someone to be a part of your child’s life.
Trust me it will be better in the long run. Get him to sign over his rights and let him leave.
There is someone out there that is going to bring joy and love into you and your baby’s life.
Trust me it’s a blessing in disguise.
Sign over rights. Never look for him again.
It is gonna happen again with his next gf. He needs contraceptives
Yes you should ask for support…
I would run as fast as I could thr other way.
My first son’s dad was a good friend with benefits that I had been close with for 10 years, he wasnt ready to be a dad and had plans on moving out of state because he had nothing tying him here, I said no worries you still dont and wrote unknown on birth certificate, so the state wouldn’t go after him for child support. If they pay support they have every right to have partial custody and do you really want someone who doesnt want you or your child taking care of them when you arent around? Especially something he didnt want that costs him money?? My now husband is a wonderful father to my son and is going to sign the birth certificate. Even though he didnt come into my sons life until he wad 5, my son has placed him in past memories he wasnt there for, to him he is his dad and my husband feels the same. If I were you I’d do the same… drama free is the way to go, besides he could use your child against you, try for full custody, not pay, a bunch of issues I constantly hear from other people. Never had to deal with that, always been me and my boy and I dont regret a minute of it. State helps you out a lot. You got this momma.
I say it depends. When y’all first started messing around did he say he didnt want children? If that was the case then it isnt right to make him pay child support. Especially if he used a condom. Now if he didnt try to prevent a pregnancy then he should pay for his stupidity LOL Just know child support makes it easier for him to ask for some sort of rights. And if he ends up proving to be a fit and financially stable parent then he could end up with partial custody. So you need to think carefully. Even if you dont put him on child support he can still take you to court.
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He helped make this child but I agree with Mirta Rosas Manley
Yes you de serve it so does the child
Same type of situation… however there came a point where I just decided to do it on my own. Knew this guy for years. On and off we would hook up. Got pregnant and told him about the pregnancy. And he vanished for a bit. Then contacted me later on. Never asked about the pregnancy or the baby. All I wanted was for him to sign over his rights. Never did. He still contacts me and wants to hook up. I don’t get support, he has nothing to do with our child. So its just me taking care of our beautiful, smart daughter. He’s known about her from the day I found out. At least now at this point he can’t try to get custody of her if he ever changed his mind. I’ve been her full time provider, caregiver. Her everything. And to me its been well worth the struggle.
Do NOT and I repeat…DO NOT PUT HIM ON THE BC. Give the baby your last name. Move along with life. You cannot change other people, you can only change you. Letting him play the in and out game with the child will mess up your child. Just raise it as if you are a SMBC. And essentially, you are. He is choosing to abort. You are not. Time to just move forward.
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It’s not so black and white. In order for support to be established a father must be listed on the birth certificate, in order for the father to be listed on the certificate or you must a) have him acknowledge paternity b) take a paternity test. If he does agree to the above and pays support he’s automatically 50/50 legal custody and can sue for joint physical custody, he then has the right to claim the child every other year on taxes and any good family law attorney will let him know this. Child support isn’t a cut throat he pays and your done it opens up more doors to visitations etc
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Cut his right. Why bother.
Sounds like you are going to have to. What a dick.
I’m confused as to why u would get pregnant by someone u was just having sex with and I would ask him the same question.
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He didnt want the baby when you got pregnant, and he doesnt want the baby now? You made the decision to keep the baby so walk away and have him sign over paternity.
He told you he didnt want kids. Hes not going to change hat mindset. Dont have sex with people who dont want children, because there is ALWAYS a chance.
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Friends with benefits. Should have protected yourself and been more careful who you let deposit that sperm in you 
Possible unpopular opinion here…I would think it would depend on your belief in equal rights and fairness. As the woman, you would have the right to keep, adopt out, or abort. I would think he should have the same rights. If he chooses that he does NOT want a child, then he should have the right to step out. I know the states and courts don’t see it that way, but we cannot scream and demand equality in one breath and make unequal demands in the next.
Say Goodbye. There is something better awaiting you
Well give him what he wants. He’ll resent you and the baby if you beg him to stay. I wouldn’t even ask for support.
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Im kinda in the same boat, im 35 weeks pregnant with my ex boyfriend of a year . I found out after we had already broken up for 2 months. Now he doesny want anything to do with me . I’ve been getting baby things and dealing with this all moslty on my own . Best I think we can do is know its all for the out baby. Whether dad wants to be there or not . You should definitely get child support , but he doesnt have to bring you and the baby down . Better to be happy .
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My son’s sperm donor literally done the same. My son has just turned 17yrs i have bought him up by myself. At the end of the day its the sperm donors loss my gain. Twice the work twice the reward 
never received a penny
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Well I was with a guy for a year and half when I got pregnant. He wanted nothing to do with my son. I didn’t put his name on the birth certificate or anything. I never took it to court to ask for child support. Because I felt like we both had options. I didn’t want to force someone to be there or pay even though we both created a child together. Now that is how I saw it and was the best decision I could of made! Everyone is completely different. I hope it all works out for you in the end.
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I just don’t see how all of you saying take him for support find that in any way okay. First of all they were friends with benefits meaning she went into this knowing that he was not ready for any kind of commitment including a kid, so she knowingly had sex with this guy knowing he was not going to commit to her let alone a child. If the roles were reversed and she wanted to terminate the pregnancy, put the baby up for adoption, etc and he wanted to keep the baby would you be saying “well he has the right to keep it” “make sure you take her for child support” no you all would be sitting here saying “your body, your choice”. If women want the option to force a man to support a child he clearly does not want and stated he does not want and she does want, men should also be given EQUAL rights to force a mother to carry a child that she clearly does not want and stated she didn’t want unless medically necessary to terminate, women are all about equality unless it comes down to someone forcing you to do what you don’t want.
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Everyone is different, so I dont think any response will be exactly alike.
My middle child’s dad did this, but we had been together for 2 years at that point. I let him walk. He didnt show up for the birth, didn’t sign the birth certificate, and met my son once 4 months later.
I didnt put him on child support. I didnt push to have his paternity acknowledged. I let him walk. For the sole fact that my son deserves better. Sure, he should have to support him financially, but if it was that easy for him to walk I don’t want my son to know him and think that he wasn’t wanted or cared for.
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I hate these types of situations…
I feel like if a woman can choose to have or not have a baby then a man should be able too as well. If you tell a man your pregnant and he doesn’t want the baby but you do, you should be willing to be a single mom because if it was the other way around and he told you he wanted to keep the baby and you didn’t it would be your body your choice.
Especially since he told you from the beginning, he didn’t stay throughout your pregnancy and then leave, he’s been gone.
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I have a 14 month old and im 38w pregnant. I left their dad a week before i found out i was pregnant. He was toxic and has made it clear he doeant want anything to do with the kids if were not together. I filed for child support and he wants to sign over his rights (because I dont want to be with him smh). That wont happen, he helped make them and he should help support them whether he is in their life or not.
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Be careful before asking for any thing. For one if you make more money he won’t be paying you, you’ll be paying him. Child support also allows him visitation unless you can prove a legit reason why he shouldn’t have it and if he does pay you that also allows him to claim the child on taxes every other year so sometimes it’s not worth it
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Ok call me biased on this situation or call it a forced hand how ever you want put it
My baby daddy and divorced I have 2 kids by him but because after the divorce I was low income and still working I wasn’t making nearly enough money the state put him in child support but I’ll tell you less than 200 $ a month is what was ordered and most months I recived 0$ child support doesn’t help really in my Situation
I begged him to talk to to his kids he refused so eventually a year later when he did call and my kids kids essentialy told him he wasn’t thier dad and the man I was dating was well before and after that 1 call he’s had nothing to do with them
But know 3 years later I married the man I was dating and that man cares for my kids as if they were his own so in my opinion and experience if a man don’t want be there than forget him he’s losing the best thing he will ever had the chance at . You can be mom and dad until you find a man that’s will choose you and your child.
He is financially responsible. I’d love to say kids dont miss boneheads like him…but they do. They may get over it but most dont. Make him pay, give babe best life. He is no longer important
On the other hand my oldest…her dad doesn’t pay. Bc he couldn’t and now it’s not worth it. He didn’t come into her life till she was 12. She worships him. Even though he is broke, an idiot and didn’t care about her for 12yrs…it hurts…but it about baby now. Not the adult idiots
I had a similar sitch kinda. I didnt go for child support mainly because there was extra drama involved. 
My sons never met his dad and his dad prolly doesnt know he exists. So
This is a difficult situation, as there was no romantic relationship, and he was upfront from the beginning that he didn’t want the baby. A FWB is a no strings attached situation. Meaning, you go into it wanting nothing long term, including children. It this particular situation, I see it as he has just as much right to not want the child, as you would have if you wanted an abortion. You both should have been more careful, but there was an agreement to have no commitment. 
U can do a great job raising ur baby on ur own! I raised my twin girls, when my ex cheated on me throughout my entire pregnancy! Kids are such a blessing! And if he doesn’t want anything to do with tbe baby, HIS LOSS!
I would just move on from him & raise your baby! I wouldnt even go for support but thats just me.
What a loser you picked. You deserve better.
You’re a fuck buddy, not wife material or mother of his children material, you knew that from the start. You allowed that. Not sure what you’re wanting anyone to do for you. You got what you signed up for.
Just get a financial support…just love ur baby…he dont deserve to be a father.just pray and you will be fine god bless😘
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Yup. Get child support
yes ask some support
Take his ass to court
Ladies stop sleeping with fuck boys! Where too old for this shit !
Oh my freaking god! To all you woman who question asking for support?!?! This is why the world lets men slide by and get away with it. Yes. He needs to support his child. He doesn’t have to be in it’s life or your life but if he would’ve bought a condom then he wouldn’t owe for the next 18 years. Come on ladies. They don’t get out of shit because they’re men anymore.
Yup. Get that child support
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Fuck him! Do you want to fight with him for the next 18 years? Let his sorry ass bounce. There isn’t anything he can do, that you can’t. Some petty folks will say get him, but that kind of energy isn’t healthy, and why add more stress to your new family.
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Should you ask for child support? I don’t know, do you want the financial burden of paying for all of your living expenses plus all the living expenses of someone that’s going to rely on you for everything for at least the next two decades?
Hot take coming in: Yeah, get child support and yeah, go to court to get it official, not just him dropping off pampers every two weeks.
Just tell him “ bye Felisha “
You will be ok !
Not sure why I’m part of this group but here goes. That is no man, unfortunately you got impregnated by a little bitch with no morals or a sense of direction, burn his ass in court he deserves it.
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If he didn’t want the baby when you found out you were pregnant, then you already know how he feels. .
So you can either have the baby and raise it by yourself, or don’t have the baby.
Why force him to be a father?
I don’t think that’s right.
In my opinion, you wanted more from the relationship and got pregnant on purpose, you said he mentioned that he would set up if someone got pregnant, I feel you were hoping it was you, anyway take your lumps and move on you gambled and it didn’t work out the way you wanted
Start the court preceding now. Get a lawyer and ask that he is ruled to pay that. Ask for prenatal support for medical Bills, child support to start from the birthdate, 1/2 of the birthing cost and he supply insurance for the child.
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Take his stupid ass to court. He’s a player who thought he’d just be able to pressure you into murdering your baby before he/she is born cuz he wanted to have his cake and eat it to. Fuck that asshole.
No advice. If he says he diesnt you have to accept that. Theres no magic words to make him be a father.
It is what it is! I am a single mom my son is 3 months old and his dad has yet to be in his life or come see him! You get used to it just being you and your baby and you do the best you can do! Honestly I am perfectly fine with him not being involved because I can raise my son how I want without him telling me what to do! Just give your baby all the love and support you can and that will be enough! Good luck mama!
Oh God move on. You chose to have this baby and no matter what anyone tells you, you cannot force a man to be a parent. I love women who expect men who use them as a booty call to be a part of their lives. Start planning your life as a single mother just like the millions of others in the world who do not count on men to help them.
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He can be their for his child without being there for you. I’d worry about him being a parent once the child is here. Since y’all were FWB maybe he doesn’t think it’s his.
he told u he didnt want the child. You decided to keep it. And just like you decided to keep it, then u can raise it on ur own. Makes no sense to involve him in this. Yes he laid down w u but u had choices in the beginning which u didnt do. Leave the man alone. Not fair to make him be responsible for something he didnt want to be involved with.
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Hunny have ur baby…start the pappers 4 child support now…suck up those feelings and take care of business 4 you and ur baby…
You gotta decide if this is a man you want around your child. I’ve raised 2 boys, from 2 different men, on my own. First son was unexpected and we went our separate ways. Second son was planned but I quickly realized I made a mistake and, after nearly 3 years of trying to make it work, I left him. I’ve never gotten a penny from either, and my boys turned out just fine. I worked 2 jobs, 80 hrs a week, most of their life. They’re now 16 and 12, I’m finally able to enjoy a 40 hr work week, the boys are homeschooled, and they keep the chores done at home. It’s gonna be rough but you get to decide the path. Sometimes we don’t see past our emotions. If he’s not wanting to be a part of the child’s life, that’s your first sign you shouldn’t let him.
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He didnt want this bby although its his… oneday he will look for him/her…cut him off… let him go…be the onli parent nd be there for ur bby… forcing him to be there will leave u with dissapointment nd hurt. Ull be waiting every month for paychecks from him…
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He said what u wanted to hear to get in your pants. He wanted to get his rocks off with his friend. Not be a daddy. He clearly doesn’t want to be involved. Don’t force it. Make him sign his rights over
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Yes put him on child support. And keep moving forward in your life. If he pays good for him if he don’t the government will get him. No more friends with benefits, one night stands, and unprotected sex.
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I’m not judging anyone. This is why I don’t like to have friends with benefits anymore. I deserve the love and commitment that I actually want. For me my kids and any others that may come along. I’m sorry this is happening to you. He should have known this may happen. That he could get someone pregnant.
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Might get a stoning for saying this but if he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby I don’t think he should have to pay anything. He’s made it clear from the beginning. I think some men get the shitty end of the stick as if a woman doesn’t want a baby they can terminate and the man doesn’t have a choice, regardless if he wants the baby or not. Everyone is like ‘her body, her choice’. So his life, his choice. He said no. You were friends with benefits. Id say you should do it on your own 
Well first off being friends with benefits you should have known he wouldn’t want the child second off sounds like you tried baby trapping him and he saw right through it I wouldn’t take him to court over child support simply because just a friend with benefits doesn’t mean the only guy your fucking
Don’t ask for child support. Don’t ask for anything. Let that pos miss out on having a relationship with your child. You can do it just fine without him. Its definitely his loss.
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Been here done this… my daughter is 8 now and her donor didn’t want me to have her didn’t want to be in her life so I let him walk away… never asked for a thing… I’ve been married 5 years now to the man who CHOSE to be her daddy and let me tell you, he’s never missed a beat. Let him go… move on…
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As a single momma from day 1, here is my advice:
Even when it’s hard, it’s easier to raise a baby alone, vs trying to “co-parent” with someone who doesn’t want to be a father. Your child isn’t born yet and the father already resents him/her. Do not force an unhealthy relationship. Children need parents and role models. ALSO, if you are 100% sure he is the father, establish paternity at birth. Have him sign the birth certificate.
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When men tell you something l I’ll ke that they are telling you the truth. Get child support and start living your life as a singe mom. Hopefully your father can be a strong male influence in the child’s life.
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Raise your own kid. He already said he didn’t want it so yeah he is going to pretend you or the baby don’t exist. So suck it up this is what you chose
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If he wants nothing to do with the child then have him sign a legal document renouncing his parental claim, and have it notarized!!! This may seem harsh to some but it can be the best decision you make if he changes his mind in 6 years, takes you to court and a 3 year battle costing 50k (just your side) ensues. Not that I have personal experience with that or anything 
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Apply for support, they will do a paternity test and if the child is his they will make him pay. As someone else said it takes two. Be the very best parents you can be to your precious child.
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It sucks but you can’t make a boy be a father. Cut your losses. Give that baby YOUR last name and don’t put him on the birth certificate.
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Check with an attorney in your state. Child support and visitation don’t go hand in hand. Just because he’s paying child support, he can’t tell you he wants to take his child for the weekend and expect you to comply. There has to be a visitation arrangement in place, and he’s the one that has to initiate that through the courts. He helped make that baby, he helps raise that baby. And it’s not just him you have to think about. Maybe he has parents who will fall all over themselves being great grandparents when he can’t get the fathering act together.
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Cut ties now!!
Don’t put him on the birth certificate!!!
I’d rather get assistance than child support. Don’t let the child grow up thinking it wasn’t wanted!!!
Fighting child support monthly will make you bitter and will trickle down to the child!!!
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Don’t beg him! Only go to court for child support and keep those messages to show the judge. I made the mistake of begging my son’s dad and when our son was 3 he came around, took me to court and got 50/50 custody. It could bite you in the butt down the road. You’ll be a great single momma🥰
Wait that doesn’t mean the child is done with him!!! Time will come when they will meet again and you might lose.
Cash vs. visit rights are 2 different cases. I thought it was child abuse not to go after your children’s money due them from an absentee parent.
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Run away!!! Take nothing from him and get the papers signed before he changes his mind. What I would give to turn back the clock and have done the same.
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Hell yes you should ask for support and let his family know too, I bet his mama wants a grandchild and just because he’s selfish doesn’t mean she is
Foolish girl…friends with benefits and no birth control…thought you would trap him…now you’re on your own.
Innocent baby pays the price.
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I’ve been there. Me & my son’s father actually used protection and I ended up pregnant. Just enjoy your pregnancy, don’t stress, and keep it moving. I could not go through with the abortion and knew I could afford my child alone. Yes I took my son’s father to court for paternity and child support because I did not make my son alone also because he was denying my son was his. Though my son’s father is not involved physically & emotionally his grandparents are.
Go through family court. It’s the proper option for both of you while you are not committed to each other and it’s the best option for the child.
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Let him go but get him for child support if nothing else put tje money in a trust fund for college the child deserves thar much. You can’t make him step up and be a loving person but you can make him pay.
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Child support because you can’t expect a guy that doesn’t want to be a dad to help you raise your child. I know from experience and now I have 2 from him.
Leave him in the past, don’t bother him, make a new life with your baby. He’s made his choice.
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Where did she say he told her he didn’t want kids? Plus Tiffany, when two responsible adults engage in intercourse, one must assume a pregnancy could result , men should probably take precautions and use protection if they don’t want children —-
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Just walk away…dont put yourself through the stress…had my first daughter through a one night stand but kbew… For A short time after she was born he was a good dad it changed she was the one that has to go through not having her dad but she has amazing grandparents they have been part of her life since they found out about her but if I had to to it all again I would probably just kept it all to myself
Sounds like you wanted to be more than friends with benefits and he did not he isn’t just going to fall in love with you just because you got pregnant y’all were just friends with benefits for a reason
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It’s the child’s legal right to receive financial support from both parents. Don’t make this about you or the father. At this point it’s about what is best for the child.
Take him to court to establish custody and for child support, this also makes it where he can’t just take off with the child, because until its established you both have equal rights whether he is on the birth certificate or not . Let his family know, even if he doesn’t want to be a dad the baby is also their family and they may wish to be involved and be a great support system.