QUESTION:
"The father of my unborn child didn’t want the baby when we found out I was pregnant. We were only friends with benefits, and now he basically acts like me and the baby don’t exist.
I’m upset because I thought he’d be there for me as he said in the beginning that he’d always step up if he got someone pregnant, but now that I’m six months along, I’m worried. But if he’s not gonna help me raise it, should I ask for child support?"
RELATED QUESTION: Should I Drop the Child Support Case Against My Ex?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“This also happened to me and let me tell you it is SO much easier to just move on with your life and be the absolute best parent you can be. Don’t put him on the birth certificate and don’t take him to court for child support. Best choice of my life not having done that because I don’t have to worry about him trying to pull anything and take my son from me.”
“You were friends with benefits. He probably didn’t sign up for this. Kinda naive to expect something from someone when the situation was clear in the first place. I mean that’s not an excuse for him to have an out but you both were consenting adults and knew what would happen. Prepare to be a single mom.”
“You were a friend with benefits. If you wanted to lock you down, he would have. Please, just leave it. For the child’s sake. You don’t want his permission for every choice you make for the child. He has made his feelings clear. Move on. Be the best mother you can be.”
“Honestly, I’m going through this right now too. The baby is a depo baby and I knew going into it he didn’t want kids so I wasn’t shocked when he chose not to be involved. Cut your losses and just raise baby the best you can. Just because you file doesn’t mean he will pay it. I have no intention of filing or putting him on the birth cerificate. That was his choice so I’m honoring it. And trust me, it’s a lot easier that way down the line.”
“The father of my son told me he ruined his life. I was 21, my son is now 10 and we have had an amazing man who has been his daddy since he was 2. We don’t deal with child support or anything because if he didn’t want to be a part of it I didn’t want him providing us money so he could decide one day he had rights. It worked for us. My son doesn’t have daddy issues, but I’ve also always been honest with him about it. Things don’t always work.out the way you plan hun but its not always a bad thing.”
“If he doesn’t want to man up to be a dad, tell him to sign the papers and give all rights to you. No responsibility to you or your blessing and move on. Keep your head up and keep moving. You will be blessed with or without him.”
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if I were you, I’d cut my loses and raise my baby on my own, with nothing from him. It’ll be hard, especially at first, but I’ll be damned if I keep anyone in my life AT ALL that doesn’t want my kid(s).
take it and run
also he told u in the beginning he doesn’t want you or that baby so you should’ve accepted that n moved on in the end honestly. But also remember if you file child support he can take you to court for some type of visitation especially if he starts paying for the child. But pls accept the fact that he doesn’t want you anymore
you’re not ready to be a mother just as he’s not ready to be a father. Do the right thing and give this baby to someone who will raise him/her right.
