Don’t take a penny from him, have him legally sign away his rights and give the child your name. That way if you do marry at some point your new spouse can adopt easily.
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Say goodbye. Your both worth more than that.
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Why is so many people being assholes assuming she wasnt on birth control 
i dont see her saying anywhere in the post if she was or wasnt or if they were or weren’t using condoms 
smdh remember birth control of any form isnt 100% effective so dont just jump to conclusions people ugh. As for the actual question she asked it all depends on if your getting any kind of assistance usually you will be forced to fill child support at least if your in the usa they do. If you refuse to do so you will be cut off. With that said dont force him to be a father it wont work jusy worry about your baby but by all means if you do need the financial help then file doesnt matter if he wanted kids or not he choose to have sex and take the risk knowing it could result in a baby. If he decides to be a father then let him it will only benefit the baby. Try and keep your personal feelings sperate from whats best for baby is great advice as well. Good luck.
You can do it alone. I am sure you have family who will support you. As for the supposed father. I would not give him the opportunity. A man like that does not deserve a precious innocent child. Nor does your child need his dirty money. Ask him to sign his parental right away. Don’t even add him on paternity papers that is his choice not yours. Good luck girl. When the time is right you will know exactly what to do. 
No, he told you he didnt want the baby, you can’t force someone into parenthood, thats how you create abusive parents. Im also a firm believer, that if theyre upfront with you, about not wanting kids, they shouldn’t have to pay you child support if YOU choose to keep the baby. At that point you made the decision all on your own to bring a child into this world, he shouldn’t be financially responsible for something he told you he didn’t want.
Just let him go. My sons dad decided he didn’t want to be a dad AFTER the baby was born. Loved me and supported me thru the pregnancy and then 2 months later checked out. I tried to force him to be a father and all it did was fuck me up emotionally. Being a single mom is hard but you can do it.
You better off. It’s better this way believe me.
You have two options & honestly I would choose the 1st.
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Have this baby, raise it on your own. That may mean your going to struggle at time. However also means you don’t have to share, fight or ask permission to do anything. Also means no support from him with the child or financial. Let him seen what he’s missing & hopefully he comes around.
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Force him to be in your child life, take him to court & make him be responsible for the child. That could go good he steps up, is a wonderful daddy & for the most part no big arguments. Or badly, he hates you, resent the child, constantly fighting or when he finds someone new she wants to play mommy & fights you for the child.
He would never see us again but I would make sure to take legal steps to get support.
Go to family court - get child support from him - move on!
I’m he’s said he doesn’t want it!!! Would you want to be forced to carry and take care of a child you didn’t want??? No?? Thought so!!! Leave him alone and buck up YOU chose to keep the baby even tho he didn’t want it!!!
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Believe a person who says that! But nvr keep a child’s birthright hidden…he dont wanna b active thats fine ur child will know when older but will hate u if u keep from them.so go court get sole custody and support if he wants to sign off his rights so b it
Just let him go!! Dont force him to stay or convince him to care for you and the baby!!! Because he will make everything hell for you in the end !
Been in and out of court for 3 years and let me tell you no fun and waste of time and only hurts our son at the end of the day:cry:
better off with you and your blessing!
Yes, file for child support and full custody or better yet, have him sign over his rights to the child so he can’t go back later and try to take the kid away.
2 choices
- Get child support, your child deserves it. If he wants nothing to do with you guys other than to help pay for the babys care, then so be it. He may change his mind down the road and want to be a father.
- Have him sign away everything to you so you and your baby can get a fresh start. Sure the money helps, but it’s not always worth it.
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I got pregnant at 16. He said he didn’t want the baby when I told him I was 9 weeks pregnant. I didnt force him to be around. 9 years later we are friends on facebook but my kid still doesn’t know. He will when he gets older. It wasn’t worth disappointing my son to try and force him to be around when he didnt want to be. Only friends on facebook so he can see as he grows up some. Debating letting them meet but dads in and out of jail so not sure yet.
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Put a good friend on the birth certificate (dont leave it blank) and then never file for child support. In most cases, its much harder to remove a name from the birth certificate… it would take him years in court as long as he was opposed by a listed father. Get remarried and dont tell anyone he is the father ever.
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He clearly said he don’t want the baby, he doesn’t want to be a father, every Guy has a right to say how he feels just like every women have a right as well. Why go for child support when you just gonna waste time,
Sounds like you the one that wanted the baby then I guess you gotta raise the baby on your own && if you can’t do it on your own you got choices. 
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Ummm, buh bye. His loss, his karma will hit him later in life.
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Absolute child support
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Men know what can happen when they make the decision to have unprotected sex. He created a life… a child that will wonder who its Daddy is. No one should shrug that off… he needs to come to terms with the choice that he made. He doesn’t have to be your lover… but he is a Father. Responsibility comes with that. Society needs to stop putting it all on the woman. Try for child support.
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If he wants nothing to do with you and the baby looks like you lost a friend and you don’t want some one that feels like that around your baby anyway . Start spacing yourself so it’s easier on you when the baby is here . But make sure you get him for child support once the baby is here
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Cut your ties and move on. Don’t put him on the birth certificate. If I got pregnant and someone told me they didn’t want to be there, I would just push through for myself. In my opinion, it just ends up hurting the kid in the long run
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He may change after the baby comes ive seen it many times
Hit him where it hurts and be happy 
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My sons father is not on the birth certificate. He is still ordered to pay child support🤷♀️
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Cant blame him for your expectations
Have him sign over all the rights and leave him in the dust where he belongs
If he wont sign over his rights he pays support
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No-brainer. If he’s the dad, he needs to help support the child. He’s just as responsible for raising the child as you are, even of that unfortunately means only contributing monetarily.
Well you didn’t have any relationship that had real ties. Babies don’t motivate men to do anything so end it. Don’t try to convince yourself that it was anything else but what it was and don’t ASK him for a gd thing. He’s told you his opinion- don’t let him be apart of the kids life or yours. So no more anything with this guy it’s DONE. Move on. Child support typically equals visitation and I would want to avoid that myself. I would focus on taking care of my new family.
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Forcing someone to be a parent because you thought he would buck up is going to cause more hardship than not. You weren’t together and maybe he thinks you got pregnant to trap him example no birth control no relationship. In which case he is separating himself from the situation. Maybe like the others say he’ll change his mind once the baby is born. However with your hormones flexing anything you say might just make it worse. He was honest with you and that is something. Hugs. At least he didn’t say yes he wanted the kids and then was a absent ignoranus. Which is what most of us get. Hugs.
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Dont put him on the birth certificate.
The best thing you can do is cut ties, you don’t want to have a life long commitment to someone who won’t help out. It’ll be easier to do it on your own then have him around playing games
Get him to sign over his rights. Otherwise you’re stuck w him for 18 yrs.
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It takes two to make a child. Yes, you rightfully can go for child support, if that extra help will be beneficial for your child. Why should he get a “free pass”, when hes responsible for his part in creating that child?
and before anyone says anything, I also believe mothers should be responsible to pay child support when they decide not to stick around.
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Lose him and get him for child support. He helped make the baby he can help take care of it regardless if he wants be there with the baby or not
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If he doesnt want anything to do with you guys get a dna test & take him for child support. Hes a grown adult, should know what can happen if you dont use protection.
Yes ask for that child support!
Catarina Santos lê os comentários.
First it is not a it and i think you tried to trap him never works out
It takes two to make a baby, so he doesn’t want to help then he shouldn’t be having sex with anyone. Guess what causes that? DUH. Go for support, you help make a baby then you should help take care of the child.
I’m gonna be that person but if he told you he didn’t want it and y’all weren’t together at the time and still aren’t then just drop his butt and raise it yourself without his help. You decided to keep the kid. He never wanted it. Just leave him behind and raise the kid yourself. It’s hard but he told you from the beginning he did not want a kid and you stuck around anyways.
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Don’t ask.put his ass on child support. He created a child.
Send him on his way and get child support. You don’t need him if he doesn’t want to be there for both of you. You
Yes definitely. Get a dna test. And file for child support. It sounds like he doesn’t want either.
What ever you do don’t put him on birth certificate if he isn’t going to be involved as he isn’t entitled to parental responsibility and no go it alone he’s a loser
I’d just cut all ties now and don’t even put him on the birth certificate. You can’t force someone to be a parent. Spare yourself and your unborn child years of grief trying.
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Absolutely get him for child support but if he does not want anything to do with either one of you, you do the best you can raising your baby with all the love and support you have. Speaking from experience.
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To start with its not a it and if your man is black look at the statistics of how many black men raise the kids not many I know my grandaughter has a baby with 1 I’m sorry but it’s true
You have 2 options here.
- Get him to sign over rights and leave him be.
- Fight for child support and risk fighting for custody.
He will probably never be your childs “daddy” and that can really hurt your child badly if he/she were ever to find out. I know it hurts you, but you knew better. You knew the risks. Now you have to decide what you want to do but just know that this man is never going to be the guy you want him to be. Sadly. I feel for you because i know every mom wants their child to be loved by their parents.
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Listen. So much easier to raise a kid by yourself than with someone that’s going to be uncooperative at the very least.
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I wouldn’t mess with him. Take him to court after you have the baby and get the proper support.
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Take him to court now before the baby is born dublish paternity custody and child support and or terminate his rights. Go to your nearest courthouse speak to someone in Family Court on how to proceed and let them know that your child is Unborn. You can do all of this even if your child is unborn and you can establish paternity from a simple blood draw from you. You can request he pay for the paternity test and you can ask who are the court fees to file to be waived but I’m sure they can point you at the right direction when you speak to someone at the courthouse. I know you can do all of this from experience. If you were friends with benefits and nothing serious you have some responsibility there to you should have been on what made him birthcontrol or both been on birth control and used a condom.
Make him make it legal make his sign his rights away
Yes absolutely go for child support but if you do just know he could decide he wants visitation. Is he worth being in your life at all? If not cut the strings and I would have him sign away his parental rights.
I would woman up. If he doesn’t want to be in the baby’s life and he didn’t want the baby to begin with then don’t push it. You’re not gonna be able to force someone to love your child if they don’t want to.
If your question is purely about child support then leave him alone. He told you he didn’t want the baby and you still expected him to be a father.
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Count it as a blessing and get sole legal custody and do what needs to be done for you and baby to have a happy life
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Baby is not an “it”
Ask him to sign over his rights and put him on child support. He got you pregnant he needs to take responsibility.
Yes file for Child support. He may change his mind some men our just in shock more then Women… but make him responsible.
I wouldn’t harass someone that doesn’t desire to be a parent. Yall weren’t in a relationship, so I wouldn’t have expected much anyways! You will be enough for your child!!! Best wishes ma’am!
Been there done that.
When I left my husband, In the divorce I stated I wanted zero child support and zero alimony… My lawyer said I was an idiot. 
Do I want to? Sometimes… cuz he’s living his best life making more kids he’s not gonna support one day and spoiling his new gfs and their kids … it’s annoying, selfish, gross, and just plain wrong…
But, We’re good over here.
I knew long before I left, that if I ever did, it wouldn’t be long after that he wouldn’t care about our son. He has a son from the woman before me that he totally dipped out on 3 months after we got married…
That shoulda told me to think twice before having a baby with him myself, but like most women, I thought I was special lol🤦🏻♀️
I have full legal and legal custody. There are no visitation arrangements. There has not been a single call, text, card, smoke signal, nothing, for almost a year…
where I live, no contact and no support for a minimum of 12 months, is grounds for termination of rights or for a step parent adoption to possibly be granted…
If he pays support and decides years from now he wants to be involved,… even if my son goes years and years without seeing him, if he went to court and said “but I been paying” the odds of him getting those visits are pretty good.
His 80-100$ a week ain’t worth my peace or the disruption of my sons peace and stability. I’m waiting out my year and pursuing termination and washing my hands of him.
If he doesn’t want to be in his life, show him where the door is and decide if he’s worth keeping in your life for the next 18 years for support or potentially co-parenting down the road if he changes his mind. That is a looooong time to be tied to a piece of shit.
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My child’s father didn’t want either of us when I told him I was pregnant. I had a high risk pregnancy (marginal cord insertion instead of central insertion and a thyroid issue). I didn’t put him on child support. She’s 3 months old now and he’s never seen her. The best thing I ever did was leave it alone when he denied her the first time I told him. You got this!
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My sons father and I haven’t talked since I was 2 months pregnant bc he didn’t want the baby unless I was in a relationship with him. I was not able to form
Intimate feelings for him. Can’t make a boy be a father. I don’t want a dime from him. Raising my
Son by myself has been great. A struggle at times but completely worth it.
I went through the same thing with my daughter’s father. The best to do is raise the baby on your own. It might be hard and stressful at first. But its the best and you don’t want any toxic or negative trait like that. Its always helpful of you get the support from family and friends.
OK, he was in it for FWB, you knew he didn’t want kids, but you didn’t use birth control & now are surprised he doesn’t want to be a father? You romanticized a daddy from an offhand remark that he would be a stand-up guy, but maybe he just meant he would pay child support if ordered to. He might yet change his mind after he meets the child, but definitely get him to pay child support. He apparently didn’t use birth control either and didn’t make sure you were on any.
But prepare to be a single parent as that is likely what you will have to deal with.
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Get on reliable birth control you can handle immediately after birth (you will be extra fertile then).
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Start prepping short- and long-term to be a single mom. Set up a nursery, check schools, day care (sometimes you have to sign up well in advance), potential babysitters/nanny services, sick child care options (if any), develop budgets, start a 529 college savings plan, check your employer’s maternity & short-term disability benefits (if any), save for time off at half or no pay, read books on pregnancy and child care, take your prenatal vitamins. If possible, figure out how you can best prepare for your work to get done while you are out having & recovering from having the baby.
Yes, get child support. He helped make the baby and he should help support the baby. If he didn’t want to support a child, he should have took precautions not to create one.
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No if he can’t be a Good man without you having to make him he isn’t worth it
Leave him alone. Ask him to sign over all parental rights
yes get child support retain full custody. try the first yr for visitation if it fails cut him off. honestly I was in ur exact situation with my first and I’m telling u know it’s better for ur child to resent u for keeping father away then them hating father for broken promises and lies. their heart will mend but urs wont if u allow the pop ins and lies and broken promises it causes more damage than saying stay away until child is old enough to find u. be honest with ur child about the situation they will understand as the grow.
If you file for child support go through the state . He might change his mind later on not saying it’s right but I wouldn’t force him the be in your child’s life . If you have good friends and good support system your child should be fine without him you might find someone in your future who will love you. Both unconditionally that’s what you both deserve.
Why wouldn’t both of you ensure no pregnancy happened…being you were only friends with benefits…it’s the child who pays the price…however I think you’re on your own in raising the child because he’s made his side very clear already…
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i just don’t under stand how mother has 100% choice. Imagine how it hurts the fathers when moms abort babies they wanted… I do t ask my daughters bio dad for a penny. He wanted an a abortion i completely understand because we were only friends with benefits as well but i expect 00 from him. because he was honest up front
In some states if you apply for assistance they will file for support for you. It will only be for support. If he wants visitation he has to file on his own for it. Child support from my sons bio- father, no set visitation, he never filed. They would not let him sign away his rights unless a spouse was going to adopt my son. I could not terminate his rights without cause, like abuse etc.
It is his responsibility to so go for support. Just because he has to pay support does t mean he gets visitation it is 2 different things
When i found out i was pregnant with my now 10 yr old, i called his dad and told him i was pregnat. His response was “thats nice, I dont care…” I was pissed, i didnt cry, didnt yell, just hung up on him. Never saw him or talked to him again.
Don’t know what country you’re in but here in Canada we have Family Maintenance Enforcement, where by the courts deal with getting the child support to you. That way you don’t have to deal with him. They will even garnish wages if he fucks up or is late too many times. If he refused then he can’t renew his driver’s license without paying the back child support.
Do NOT allow this man to financially decimate you because he doesn’t want to be a father. He was a friend with benefits. He made half this baby, he has a financial obligation for 18 years. If he didn’t want to pay he should have used a condom. Don’t cut off your nose despite your face. You’re going to need all the $ you can get. Shoes are expensive.
He is responsible for his part whether he wants to be or not. Most definitely ask for child support!!!
Ok look. All BS aside if a woman can get an abortion without the guys consent, a man should be able to walk away 4m a pregnancy also. U were responsible for ur own body no 1 else. U knew u didn’t jave a life long partner u should of taken better care of urself. So in my opinion no u don’t get 2 ask 4 child support.
Kick him to the curb he will regret it one day . Yes & child support
Have you not heard of contraception?
You got your prize, what more doyou want,?
Yes go for child support take his license and everything
Go for the gusto
he did u a favor just love your babies
Get him to pay child support.and get legal assitance.your child is what matter’s not him
I say screw him and do it alone.
Yes you should have the support order put in place. Even if you can afford to raise your child on your salary right now, there is no guarantee that the support won;t be needed sometime in the next 20 years.
My children’s deadbeat father completely abandoned them after five years for the next ten. The child support continued to accrue and he still owes the $115k arrears balance. For a reason unknown to me he is being given 10 years to pay it and there hasn;t been much enforcement action. So far he has made 50% of the payments.
Enforcement actions typically include wage garnishments, credit bureau reporting, liens on real and personal property, referral to the Federal offset program (which intercepts tax refund and lottery refunds), suspension of professional and recreational licenses, passport denial, and sometimes county jail. If the baby’s other parent is not harmed by these actions they won;t be very effective at enforcing collections.
Yes my family did fine on just my salary but would $1000 a month have made a difference? Yes. For example, college would have been saved for, there might been vacations and fewer hand me down clothes, more adventures like learning to ski or flying to visit grandma more often. My kids saw her three times during their life.
Ask if the court order is a “judgment”. I am not a lawyer but have been told if it is not a judgment it can become uncollectable under certain circumstances.
Baby’s a blessing given to you. You’ll never love someone the way you do your baby. It’s hard to let him walk away but you cant make someone be or feel who they are not. He will have to figure this out on his own and he will. Stay strong. You’ve got this. Remember everything happens for a reason.
PACK YOUR THINGS AND WALK AWAY!
I became pregnant at 18, my long term boyfriend was 19 almost 20. The Day I found out I was pregnant, he walked out. Couple weeks later he was living in Australia with his Dad, and let me tell you… That was the Best thing that could have happened for my son and I! Here we are 11 1/2 years later, and he is my absolute best friend. His Father recently signed his rights away without ever making contact with my son. All my son knows is that his sperm donor was not ready to be a father yet when I became pregnant, and that’s okay. It’s His loss, not ours!!!
Yes, we have had our struggles, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I never received child support, never shared custody, never split the cost of Christmas or Birthday’s with another parent, but in our eyes? It made our bond sooo much stronger. I do have other children whom I Love with all of me. But my First born, Mommy’s Baby, and I have a special bond that is indescribable and I think part of that comes from me being his sole parent.
I wish you the best of luck!!! Forcing someone in your child’s life will make the situation so much harder!
I’m n the same position with the father of my child and he says he wants to b n her life bt dont show of anyway of wanting to b there for her so yes I got him for child support and now he wants to let my fiance adopt her n not sign over his rights makes no since… so do wat u think u need to do and ull find a man who will want u and ur baby and take care of ur baby like his own… there r great man out there believe me I have one hes a great dad to my baby
Don’t bother raise your Child to the best of your ability but don’t deny the child the knowledge of his parent. This man doesn’t realize that your baby might be the only one to save his life one day. I know been there.
Get child support. Just because you receive child support doesn’t mean he will suddenly want visitation,or to make unreasonable decisions about your child. See how his parents feel-- they may be delighted to have a Grand child.
Honey, trying to get child support from him will just pave the way for him if he ever tries to claim his kid. And there is no guarantee that he would even pay the child support. Best thing you can do is pretend there is no father. Don’t put him on the birth certificate, cut all ties with him if possible. And be the best mom you can be. Wish you all the luck, health and happiness in the world
You absolutely do! That individual is just as responsible for bringing that child in the world as you are. If he didn’t want the child he shouldn’t have had sex with you, or he should have used protection. It is expensive to raise children and babies have needs. It is unfair to the child. I have 2 children with 2 different fathers. I was in long term relationships with both of these men. When I got pregnant things changed. I get child support from one but not from the other. I have went through the state to acquire child support for both. It is a lengthy process. In the state I am from you don’t have to put them on the birth certificate, but they do have to do a DNA test.
If he doesn’t get a choice in whether or not she has an abortion, then why should he be forced to pay for a kid he doesn’t want?
Don’t spread your legs, use an IUD, use the morning after pill, use the every day pill, make him wear a rubber, pull out——but if you’re going to be irresponsible sexually and you both agree (ahead of time) that you are not holding him responsible financially or any other way then deal with it.
Unfortunately it sounds like SHE did use BC… she said it was a depo baby (depo shot). I also got pregnant while taking BC!! 
HE should have worn a condom though for sure!! Crappy situation but she’ll be ok! I’m raising my son on my own with zero help from his incarcerated father. 
She has the option to abort without his consent if she doesn’t want a child. If he doesn’t want a child he has the right to abandon it and not have to pay for it.
She could have just as easily taken birth control (and made sure to do it properly so it was effective) or refused to have sex with him without a condom. It’s in no way unfair.
What’s unfair is a woman having 100% control over the child entering the world and forcing a man to pay for it if he was clear from the beginning he didn’t want it.
What if he wanted it and she didn’t? Would you consider it unfair to him if she got an abortion? That’s worse in my opinion.
My son is almost 3 now and his father never wanted kids to begin with. We decided to try and do what was best for the child by staying together. After everything was said and done I wholeheartedly wish I had never told him I was pregnant or met his family. 20+ social services visits I passed because of his family calling them because they want my son but not me in the picture. Please young mom get the support of your family and friends and raise your beautiful little one. We women are strong! You don’t need a man.
The way I look at it, if you didn’t want the baby and he did, he couldn’t force you to keep it. You shouldn’t force him to be part of a kid’s life he doesn’t want even if it’s just paying child support.
I agree … just take it to court for full custody and support … I did that and he supported our daughter and having full custody
I didn’t have to ask for permission of anything … now she’s 14 and past year he tries harder to be in her life as tim dates and taking her shopping … but she knew who her father was from age 7 …