Once a cheater ,always a cheater.end things with him now to save you and your children years of heartbreak… file for child support and custody. He can Still choose to be a dad, but you are better off without him. I’m sorry for the pain he has caused you. Just focus on your and your kids.
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Girll. R u convincing us or your self u should stay… U already know the answer just pack the necessities and be gone. Tell him you will see him in court for child support
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It’s tough when the person you love hurts you so deeply. Then tell you they love you, if you love someone you do EVERYTHING in your power not to hurt them. You protect your relationship at all cost.
It is especially hard when they can not even give you a reason. They only say “I don’t know what I was thinking” or “I don’t know why” Yes they do KNOW exactly what they were thinking but can’t even have enough respect to explain it. That probably hurts worse than anything, the unanswered questions.
It is like they either didn’t think of you or didn’t care. Neither is a good feeling.
I may be the odd one out here, but do not make any decisions right now. You’re angry, rightfully so, you’re hurt, and are likely confused by several other emotions. Give yourself a few days or weeks to figure things out. I am not saying you should stay, only you can decide that, but you have to give yourself the proper time to decide with a clear mind.
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Firstand foremost I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if y’all have been together 10 years with no marriage, he has had no plans on being your husband. It doesn’t take a man that long to know if he wants to marry you. The more you stay after his fuck ups the more he’s going to keep cheating because there are no consequences. DO NOT STAY JUST FOR THE KIDS. It’s not healthy for them or you. I’m raising 4 children on my own and work full time so it can be done. You can do it! We can’t tell you to leave although you know that’s what’s right. When your tired enough you will!
I’m sorry for the book…
Sometimes people are amazing parents, but sucky other halfs and no matter what you do, you will never be good enough for him. I know this from experience. If he has not proposed, there is a reason for it. And something to think about, at this point, even if he did propose, could you actually trust him to be honest about what he is doing and who he is seeing? If you cannot trust him 1000 percent, then there is no relationship to be had there, just more broken heartedness. I speak from experience. They don’t stop and they never change until the “right for them” person comes along and even then, they still do what they did, they just make sure its more quiet so they do not get caught.
In a situation like this, it is best to protect your heart and co-parent the best you can. Don’t let him walk all over you, in and out of your life and your kids lives.
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this, but what I can say is that, it gets easier. It gets better. Take it one day at a time and on the days that you feel like you can’t do that, take it one breath at a time. Look at the beautiful babies that you made and remember that they are your reason for getting up and doing everything that you do. Being a single mother, you will begin to do everything you can to make sure they have exactly what they need. Then, when the time is right, everything will fall back into place and you can hopefully meet the right one for you.
My heart goes out to you. <3 <3 <3
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If you stay you are teaching your children this is how you treat a significant partner. 
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Girl you deserve SO MUCH BETTER!! He is using you.
Does he love you? Yes, probably in his own way.
Does he want commitment? Yes, he wants it from you, BUT not FOR YOU.
Will ending it with him be hard? Yes, but only for a little while and you’ll be much happier.
Right now staying with him is teaching your son(s) that this is okay to cheat and it’s teaching your daughter(s) that this is behavior that they just have to deal with.
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Mommy’s mental health and well-being is best for the kids.
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Leave he won’t change been there done it for 16 years our first 5 /6 years were great but after child number 3 all went down hill and he started cheating
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Pawning everything the kids had and that we had
It was a mess I kept trying to wrk things out but finally had to leave .BEST THING I EVER DID !!!
DON’T STAY !!!
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Leave just leave…I’m in the same boat 3rd time catching him should have left the 1st time…he won’t stop
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Over and above everything else…if you are not happy, you will not be the mom you want to be. Take care of yourself to take care of your family. 
Much love.
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Co-parent from your own home, he’s gotten all he can get from you without marrying you, you are not the one he wants as his wife, move on with your life, you will never meet a good man if you stay with this man, he will continue to cheat
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Be glad you found out how he really is before yall got married. Once a cheater always a cheater. When she cheated with him she will do the same thing to him as she done to her husband and your bf was do the same thing to her as he did to you. Get away dont feel guilty feel proud. The reason why I say proud is because 1. you will not have to file for a divorce from him. 2. You will never have to worry about will he do it to you again.
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First off, I think you did right splitting with him. Even if you tried to push your feelings aside, they would still be there and eventually work their way back to the surface. You did the right thing for you AND your kids.
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Leave his a. You deserve better
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I’ve always heard, if you love someone you can not cheat on them…I’ve been where you are and all I can say is pray. And leave him. It won’t change. Hell just find ways of hiding it better. And if you stay he’ll think it’ll be ok to keep doing it. I understand he might be a great father. But that’s not enough to stay in a relationship. You have to be happy as well. Feel loved. Feel wanted. And trust me your kids will know it’s none of that. It’s so important for your children to see you happy and loved correctly. And honestly he isn’t doing that. You can still coparent being separated. Ik it hurts and it’s gonna hurt for a long time. But you’ll get through this… I promise you will…and one day you’ll meet who God intended you to be with…this guy is a lesson
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Something I have learned after dealing with this over 10 years is if they want to be with you they will change. If they don’t want to be with you they will never change. Therapy could help and if he is willing you could put one of those apps on his phone that allows you see everything he does. But that’s completely up to you guys. I had a mental breakdown a year ago due to my s/o cheating around my birthday and after our oldest daughter almost died and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I am now physically ill and disabled because it takes a toll on your body.
If he’s cheating now it’s not gonna change once you’re married if you go down that road. His ability as a father is separate from his being a partner to you it doesn’t make him a good boyfriend just because he’s a good dad
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You aren’t in the wrong. He doesn’t love you and it’s NOT your fault. He’s a piece of poo. Leave this clown and go find the love you so deserve.
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No. If your stay, you’ll be teaching you’re kids what to expect in their relationships. Leave him. He’s nor sorry for doing it, he’s sorry he was caught. You can still coparent without living with or having a relationship with him.
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I wanted to say dumphim after the first sentence. After reading it, I still feel that way, been there… it doesn’t change. If he can cheat he doesn’t love you. Not saying he never could, but it would take loosing you and lots of change/therapy, and in my case that didn’t even help. Just know you deserve better. You can still co-parent well too, it’s hard, but you can!
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The answer to this question doesn’t take brains- once a cheater, always a cheater. You dump him.
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Goodbye . Adios for sure.
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I’d end the relationship 100%. He put too much work into cheating that he could have used to make your relationship work. He strung you along for 10 years. Definitely coparent but be done romantically.
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I went through something very similar. In my own personal experience leave while you can. He’s never going to stop and you’re always going to wonder. You are better than this. 
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Have the courage to leave him. Once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve so much better! You have yourself & your kids to take care of. You can co-parent from 2 different homes. If he is a decent dad then he will be present for them. All the very best mama! 
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Your not in wrong he is
Once a cheater, always a cheater
- you cannot disrespect the mother of your children and also be a good father. I’m so sick of that narrative. He betrayed the whole family when he decided to be unfaithful. HE is breaking up the family & your future, not you!
- staying for the kids shows your daughter(s) to stay in a marriage in which they’re being cheated on, & your son(s) that if they cheat all will be forgiven. Not the message I’d wanna send to my children. that we stay no matter how fucked it is?? NO
Ma’am. He’s still your boyfriend after 3 kids and 10 years? And he cheated? Just stay with him and have an open relationship because the simple fact that you’re questioning what you should do and pushing your feelings aside is an option “for the kids” means you’re not ready to leave and the disrespect is acceptable as long as he tries for a little while. 
Of course he knows why he did it. Wtf? Also 6&8 years old is not preschool.
You lost my sympathy at “IDK if I’m in the wrong”. Yes. You are. You did this. You allowed it longer than you should have and now you are breaking up the family you struggled for. Just let him walk all over you and let your kids see how they should treat their spouse. One should run around and act stupid and the other should just put up with it and have no respect for themselves.
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Leave. If they really love you it’s impossible to cheat.
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Don,t walk , run the other way.
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dump him an start looking after kids on your own , once a cheat always a cheat an he does not love you or would not cheat
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Run fast and furious. You are not setting a good example for your kids by staying with someone who disrespects their mother. He can be a good dad away from you. You deserve a good man that will commit to you. Stop waiting for him. He’s already let you know you are not a priority. And please don’t have anymore kids with him. He’s not worthy of your love.
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You are doing your children a huge disservice if they see that this is how a relationship works. Nope. Get out and move on. You and your children deserve better. Nobody can actually love you and do this to you. This is not your fault in any way shape or form. People cheat because they lack something in themselves, they are immature and they are incapable of proper communication.
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You deserve to be happy and your children deserve a happy mother. The only person who chooses when to leave is you. The relationship you choose directly impacts the relationships your children will have when they’re adults. Do you want your sweet babies to be unhappy and push their own feelings aside? Choose happiness for yourself now and you’re showing them it’s okay to restart when someone treats you as less than. He made the choices he made, he tore the family apart with his actions. That’s on him. Good luck 
be strong. 
I would definitely leave, if he’s continuing to do this to you, he is only putting himself first. It’s best to put yourself first now. He might be a great father, but he’s definitely not a good partner to you. I don’t know you, but I know that no one deserves that type of treatment, from anyone. I know it’s difficult, but your feelings do matter.
Think more than twice before ebarking on the “single parent” journey with one who does not care to be a married parent!
Bye bye. 10 years? No wedding? That’s a fb! You know what I mean. You just wasted 10 years why waste another 10?
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Take him to court! If you lived in Pennsylvania you would be considered a common law marriage. Check out your state laws. You could get him for alimony and palimony.
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maybe give him 1 more chance and i would deff be checking his phone if hes still doing it then yes i would part and wouldnt stay just for the kids to have a family u will be miserable
Do what makes you happy and your kids will be too! Your not in the wrong, he is!
Staying with him won’t make your children happy! Believe me I know. What makes them happy is seeing their parents happy and being in a stable loving home. LEAVE, get your own place and co parent. DO NOT stay in the same house as him. He doesn’t deserve you period. You will be happier for it in the long run. And your kids will appreciate that their mother was strong for them and did what she had to do to make sure they were happy and in the right place to grow up healthy.
Co-parenting is a thing. If he’s an awesome dad that won’t change because y’all separate. You have no reason to allow that kind of bullsh*t in your life. Respect yourself and respect your kids by not allowing him to disrespect the whole family…
Better alone than in bad company!!!
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Its not the same world we were raised in.cheating is hurtful in so many ways and this could have ended alot worse than it has.get yourself checked out for stds.these kind of lies arent always just emotional.
Leave. He doesn’t love you and will give you an STD if you stay.
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Clearly he does NOT love or respect you! Without love, respect & trust, a relationship will fail. Get out now & save yourself & your kids anymore of his B.S.!
10 years?
No formal commitment?
Doesn’t appear you are the love of his life.
Why settle for this? You and your children deserve a better life than this.
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You can coparent without being together. It won’t be easy, but it’s possible you deserve happiness and your kids deserve to see you happy 
Sorry sounds like a narcissistic prick who wants his cake and to eat it
Know your worth and kick him to the curb coz if you put up with it he will just do more&you will feel worse and worse till you feel worthless and broken
Don’t let that happen know your worth huni and know you deserve better and fell him to fuck off!! Xx
Well I don’t think you wasted 10 years. You have 3 beautiful children and you said they have a good dad. I’m sure you have many happy memories but your journey with this man has come to an end. It’s time to move on and take care of yourself and your kids. You will eventually find someone that truly loves and cares for you and your children.
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you must have taken some dumb down pills!!! He is NOT just about to change.
You have a hard choice to make! Let him stay and make him Mary you and sign a prenup that says if he cheats again you get everything or leave and find someone to treat you with the love, respect and kindness you deserve!
Taking care of you, is taking care of them. Do what you feel is best for you. Honor yourself first.
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WHAT. Why would you stay with a worm like that? He could give you a disease. Get up and get you and the children out of there. Or throw him out. Apply for child support. Get a job. You can do this!!!
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He won’t stop. And there are more you don’t know about. I pray you can come to reality and save yourself and your kids. A cheating husband needs to outed to the kids.
Grab your kids and get out of there! He will continue to cheat and cause you more heartache. I realize that is a hard thing to do, but you will be happier and less stressed when you do.
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WHAT. Why would you stay with a worm like that? He could give you a disease. Get up and get you and the children out of there. Or throw him out. Apply for child support. Get a job. You can do this!!!
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get yourself some side d**k… see how he likes when the tables are turned
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Pretend you’re ok and start stock piling. Your oldest aren’t preschool. They go to school ft now. Start making a plan. If you made it ten years with that man you can do one more and set yourself up.
If you have to ask you already know honey 
I’m sorry you are going through this you don’t deserve it and your “man” is a disgusting human being! Do not allow yourself to feel bad for his wrong doings… He did this not you… and in my opinion (although it is hard) you and your children are better off without him… Children are resilient they adapt to change quicker than us and in the long run they’d be better off with a happy single mum than growing watching you be disrespected like that… You have to set an example and his isn’t it… Good luck 
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Run and start with someone that respect s and loves you
The thing you did wrong was staying after he cheated. Leave file a parenting plan making hom pay for half of daycare costs get child support. Things will only get worse.
Throw the whole dude away !
NEVER STAY TOGETHER FOR THE KIDS!!! In the end it does more damage to the children than splitting up. At first it will be hard and the kids won’t understand but in the long run it will be less damaging to part ways now. He obviously doesn’t want to quit cheating so that will just make things worse for you if you stay
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Men can change if they truly want to even if they do cheat. We all make mistakes but to continually make the same mistakes and say idk why I have never understood. I have been there. But if he’s not willing to change for you and his family you deserve to be happy not just stay cause of the kids. He can still be a father while you move on. Good luck to you.
No. Stay where you are and co parent together. This is not your fault. This is all his fault. My girl a man knows within the first 6 months of being with you, if he wants to marry out. 10 yrs??? Baby girl he has no plans on marrying you. You only know of one of probably the many girls he slept with. Plus he on a dating app still pursing girls. You are not the one, that’s why he’s still looking. Love your life for u and your kids and be happy. If he’s for you, he’ll catch up. But I think the right man is out there for u
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Bro FUCK THAT GUY! You deserve better and staying there for the kids won’t fix it. Find your happiness leave that fuck head and be the amazing mother you are to your kids!
DON’T STAY TOGETHER FOR THE KIDS SAKE! That’s just showing them what they can and should expect of a relationship when it clearly shouldn’t be what they want or expect of a relationship.
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You did NOTHING WRONG. The person with issues is the dude. Leave. Coparenting and staying out of fear or not knowing will only break you down further.
He is not ready for a one on one.you must move on. With him, control your fertility.
Leave hes not worth it and you and your kids will be better off without him anyway
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What do you mean? You should leave
Please get some counseling to help you process this horrible betrayal, and to help you make a healthy decision.
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Kick him out! You can do this on your own! It’ll take time and hard work, but you’ve got this!
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R.U.N.
Cheaters gonna cheat.
You deserve better,your kids deserve better. Show them the right way to treat people ,and how to be treated.
Do not accept this situation as ok.
Better to struggle and have your sanity and self respect than to continue to live a lie. He will pay child support.
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No way… especially if you have sons… they will grow to think that’s what men do to their women… not a healthy way to grow. Kick him to the curb
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Yeah, that’s a shot to 3rd with a putout. The boy would be history totally!!!
I would leave, there is someone out there for you and only you and your children.
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Get the hell out… trust me… I know exactly what you’re feeling… find a way to co parent and move on… there is no loyalty or respect for you and no concern for your children…
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Your future will come and gowith or without him,A stable home is needed for you and the children, There are many thingsout there for a struggling single parrent be strong get advice what is available to you and start planning, Good luck There is a future for you and your children.
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sounds like he made the decision for u!
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He’s never going to want to marry you after ten years together, so stop holding onto that fantasy. He’s a serial cheater who’ll only get worse with age. It’s time to consult a family law attorney to get the hell out of that relationship. Your children deserve better than to witness their parents normalizing emotional abuse and infidelity. And you deserve a faithful man.
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IMO coparent and always put the kids first but leave him. If marriage was on his mind he would have proposed by now. He can’t have his cake and eat it too. Your not at fault he’s just letting his wrong head lead the way
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I really can’t comprehend why you are asking this!! Goooooooo!! Take your Littles and leave…he will never change, it’s better for kids to have 2 happy parents that are no longer together than 2 parents who “stay together for the kids”… their lives will be miserable…you need to think of YOU 1st, if you get yourself together, everything else will fall into place…good luck
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Never live with a ex .why should he be able to come home to a clean house ,home cooked meals ,his laundry done and chances are still have occasional sex with you while having sex with other woman possible even getting them pregnant…no man deserves that …kick him out now
It sounds like he made the decision easy for you. Kick his ass to the curb and move on. There is someone out there who will love and appreciate you the way you deserve! I can’t stand cheaters. If you’re not happy in your relationship leave before cheating. It’s easier for the other person to pick up the pieces that way. I’ve been through it and I tried to forgive him but things weren’t the same. He made some comment that he was” like a shark and had to keep swimming or he’d die” when I asked why he cheated on me. As hurt as I was then(I was a lot younger) I’m glad things happened the way they did. I moved on and it’s only up from here. He still regrets what happened and tells me that he wishes he could go back in time. It’s been over 14 years and he’s still kicking himself in the ass.
You didn’t split your family up, he did! He consciously chose someone else over you and his children. Hurt, heal and move on! You got this! In the end, i hope you find someone who loves and adores you and your children! You deserve it!
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Kick him to the curb. Once a cheater always a cheater
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Get rid of the cheater!!!
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He obviously isn’t worth your time. Child support and visitation for him.
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You can leave him and still co-parent. Just explain to him you lost all trust in him but you don’t want his mistake to effect the kids. Be the bigger person but do what’s best for you. Just because he’s not your man doesn’t mean he can’t be thier father.
Walk away from that mess.
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I really hate to say this, but it’s been 10 years and he hasn’t even proposed, he’s not going to
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Well you decide is this the example that you want to set for your children because they grow up and pick partners just like ours
his behavior is never your fault, he decides for himself want he does and you are right, he wants his cake and more and nothing you do will change that, now you have to decide what you are willing to live with, you deserve so much more then being 2nd in anyone life
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Unless you are willing to put up with that behavior for ever, its time to find a new BoyFriend.
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Nope leave. It’s not fair it’s better for the kids to see you happy separated then faking it and fighting to be together for them
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Any d vision you make will affect the children. Try counseling. If that doesn’t work try to be friendly for the kids sake but nice in for you
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