If you’re struggling with this decision you shouldn’t even be a parent.
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That’s very immature on your boyfriends part to hide from the biological father that he has a daughter. Obviously an ex is an ex for a reason however does that mean he doesn’t at least deserve the right to know? That he doesn’t deserve a choice on whether he wants to be in her life?
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You’re asking for a reason. You know it’s wrong
It’s not your boyfriend’s choice nor any of his business, really. You’re a mother now and it’s time to act responsible. He’s the dad it’s his right.
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Tell him the truth decide from there if he decides to be a dad or not
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at 42 years old I found out my dad was not my biological dad. Don’t take half of your child’s identity away. Please let her know. Life is short.
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Umm, you should tell him. Its his right to know he has a daughter
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He might be the best dad ever. (Your ex) Don’t deny your daughter that chance.
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Unless you have really good reason not to tell your ex (safety concerns, using the baby to hold power over you, ect) - let him know. He has a right to know he has a daughter just like she has a right to know her biological dad if he chooses to be in her life.
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So you’re in a new relationship with a newbie and in like 2 seconds the guy is bold enough to ask you this ? It says a lot…
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Tell the childs father. Always. Boyfriend may not last forever. You never know how the future unfolds.
That child is not his. How would you feel if someone hid a child from you? That’s messed up.
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You need to tell him, that is his child! Do not listen to your boyfriend on that one!!! He is wrong!!!
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This is your baby not your boyfriends. Every person deserves to know if they are a parent. Tell him! Iys the right thing to do.
The fact you are even asking this leads me to believe the ex may be a better parent as you can be manipulated easily
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What happens if you and your boyfriend break up next month?….You’ll be calling him then letting him know.I think it’s messed up that you wouldn’t want the biological dad to know.What will you tell your child when they grow up and ask why they don’t look like their father? I think it’s morally wrong to do something like that, and your going to regret it and if your not truthful.
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Not your right to alienate your daughter from her father. I made that mistake and I came clean a year and half later. To this day (almost 7 years later) I still feel guilty about it even tho he forgave me.
Don’t do it. Doesn’t matter if he’s an asshole to you but may be the world’s best dad, he’s still her dad. If he’s a dangerous person then I support not telling him about your child.
However if he’s a decent person, just tell him.
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Honestly, if the ex is a narcissist or an abuser, I wouldn’t say a dang word to the ex.
Tell your ex. It’s the right thing to do
I have a feeling you already know the answer.
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You need to tell your ex. Your daughter will grow up, and realize either by her birth certificate or any medical problems that your bf isn’t her bio dad and she will hate you. Besides that, if this new guy bails, she needs a dad. You can’t get child support from your (now) bf. Your ex has a right to know that he has a child. Your (new) bf is being selfish and jealous. Your guy doesn’t want the dad to know so he can have you and the baby to himself. Any real man would want you to let this guy know that he has a child.
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Not right. He has a right to know.
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If your ex can do math, he would know the kids his unless he thought you cheated on him before . So if he isn’t asking for a test he might not want a kid . But you should tell him , it’s the right thing to do .
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Tell him and give him the chance to decide. Did your boyfriend sign the birth certificate?
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Lies always come out, and the biggest guilt you will have is with your child! I would tell him! He is the father you don’t want your child to find out later! My daughter had a hard time accepting that she was not my husband’s and I regret not telling her the truth! He is a deadbeat dad and even change his name to work under a different name so he didn’t pay child support and also claimed she was not his! Took paternity test but he never looked for her after! The hurt will not be towards him but your child! If he loves the child then he would want the best for her!
You need to make the bio father aware! 
. Tough situation 
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You didn’t mention anything about the bio-dad being abusive or neglectful. Children should know both of their parents and he has a right to be a father to his daughter. Be an adult, and give him a chance to do the same, tell him he is a father and introduce him to his daughter. If your current boyfriend cannot handle that, he is telling you the kind of person he is. Being alone is scary, but living a lie is worse.
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Unless the ex is potentially dangerous (abusive), he deserves to know. I really hate how so many women think it’s okay to hide a child from the father. If he chooses to not be involved, then go from there. The longer you wait to tell him, the worse it will be. If he wants to be involved, you are taking away very special experiences from him that he can never get back. It is not your boyfriend’s decision.
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Oh please,u definately have alot more problems if u put this on FB for an answer,and u r listening to that so called boyfriend, Dump him #1,how would he feel if another girl did that to him,and never told him he’s a dad. Get your life together with your child before another relationship especially that 1,not a man if he says don’t tell your ex. he’s just doesn’t want that man to be around you period,because if u tell him,then your new beau will be totally jealous
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Do it sooner rather than later…
What’s gonna happen once you and bf split up? Are you certain he’ll remain a father figure? Why can’t he still be a father figure without the father knowing? Or does that draw the line for him? Seems like he’s trying to control you without controlling you.
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It’s not about the boyfriend
Don’t keep secrets! They will haunt you later!! I know from my own experience — be honest and do it now not later
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If he isn’t good for that baby girl… Let sleeping dogs lay… Do that for her… Unfortunately as a mom we hold all kinds of truths for very good reasons… Save her if you cant be… Mother’s love… Besides this man wants her and you…
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Imagine what that little girl will feel the truth always comes out be upfront and honest
Unless the ex is abusive and an ass who won’t even be there for her, maybe not 
but the bio might need to know but on the other hand your man is stepping up and wanting to raise her as his own than… go for it. My daughter doesn’t even know her bio dad exists, he wanted nothing to do with her and she’s known my bf since she was 8 months and she’s 3 now, as far as anyone who knows us, my bf is her dad.
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Lies always have a way of coming to light…not to mention the fact that every child, every parent, has the absolute right to know their biological parents child…it should be their right to either be a part of each others lives or not. No one should be making that decision for someone else. I know of no child that has too many caring, loving people in their lives. There’s plenty of room for bio parent and step dad.
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What if some day she should need a family medical history? Lots of things to consider before decision is made.
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You just told him. Lol
Every child has a right to know who their Mother and Father is
U should definitely tell your ex. It isn’t your boyfriend’s decision who gets to be in the child’s life. The dad deserves to know and go from there.
As much as u may hate the real dad he is still her real dad. I think no matter what even if he is a bad person he should be notified and if he is bad person also make it aware of ur intentions to file for full custody. Whatever u do u should never lie as we teach our children to always tell the truth even if there is consequences. My daughter will be 9 in September and me and her real dad were married and separated a few months after she was born due to drugs. I gave him chance after chance to be in her life but he was lost to drugs(he is sober now) my husband has raised her since she was 9 months old and that is her daddy. He just adopted her on June 1st with the bio dad voluntarily signing over his rights. Bio dad knows he messed up and accepted it because it took him so long to get his self right. He now has a family of his own. But he told my husband that he has raised her better then he ever could have. I have NEVER lied to my daughter about her bio dad I did keep some details from her as she wasn’t old enough to understand. Now she knows full details about him and the addiction that took over his life and she will tell u that he isn’t anything to her except a friend and my husband is her only dad. Don’t lie please because u telling him could seriously make him change his life around. If not take full custody but it will never fall back on u for anything as long as u always tell her the truth when she asks. Even if she never meets him she needs to know. Don’t take their right to make a decision
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Honestly i agree with most the people on here. I would tell him. Its not your current boyfriend desicion. And if the ex ever finds out it wouldnt be a good thing. I would just tell him and let him decide if he wants to be in her life.
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Is he abusive to children, if not then…you was ok sleeping with him knowing pregnancy could happen, he has a right to know!
Tell her biological father. The longer you wait the worse it will be for everyone involved and I can guarantee your child will grow up to resent you if one day she finds out you lied to her her entire life about who her dad is!! She deserves to know her daddy and he deserves a chance to be a daddy to that little girl. Just because your relationship didn’t work out does not give anyone the right to keep a child a secret.
Tell the ex. Its the right thing to do. Might be scary. But if your boyfriend loves you he shouldn’t tell you not to tell her dad.
That is NOT your decision and DEFINITELY not your boyfriends decision to make. If your ex wasn’t abusive, you really are just sounding petty and the only person you’re hurting in the situation is your child. A kid deserves to know both parents. Time to grow up. The longer you wait, the worse it will get and all lies and secrets eventually comes to light
Unless he is abusive I would tell him and give him the opportunity to be a part of her life. Put yourself in your daughter’s shoes, imagine finding out as an adult that A. The person you know as your dad isn’t your biological father (if you choose not to tell her as well) and/or B. That the man who is your biological father was never even given the opportunity to know or love you. This isn’t about you, your boyfriend, or your EX. This is about your daughter, at the end of the day what is best for her is the most important thing. And if your EX isn’t a danger to her, allowing him to know and love her will just bring more love into her life.
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Th truth will set you free.
You really might want to do a dna!
Do you really need to ask what to do , FFS do the right thing and what you should have already done
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One day baby will grow up…an you’ll have explaining to do.
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I think he should know. I get his fears but if he is there for her and loves her she will see it. And if he keeps her from her father she will come to see that one day too. All he can do is be there for you both and support what’s best for her.
As much as the new boyfriend wants to take care of you both and do the right thing… the right thing is telling the biological father that he has a daughter! That would be devastating not to!! Put yourself in a guys shoes and tell me you wouldn’t be pissed if you were a parent and wasn’t told?
I would tell him … if he how ever decides he doesn’t wanna be. A part of her life. … that’s his choice. … atleast you told him. …
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Think about when your child is older. That could be a secret she never forgives you for
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Thats disgusting your daughter should know who her dad is.
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Just think if your child was seriously ill or needed a transplant and the only person who could possibly help would be her bio parent! How would you explain to your child then her " dad" couldn’t help as hes not biologically his… just a thought xx
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He has the right to know he’s got a child. Depriving him may make things worse if he finds out without you telling him. So do the right thing and tell him about him child.
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Your current boyfriend can still be an amazing father figure. My daughters dad left and we divorced and he just forgot about his daughter. I’ve been with her stepdad for 6 years. He’s stepped up and been amazing. You will always have this guilt. But just know telling him may not make everything amazing but he should be told. He can choose to walk away or he could turn out to be an amazing father to her. Don’t take her chance. Two amazing father figures is such a blessing I’ve had it since I was 5.
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Um I’ll say it if noone else will…will the boyfriend be around forever? Quite possibly no! Either way tell that man he has a kid unless ya know he was abusive or whatnot. That’s a different situation.
Yes, a kid has a right to know who their father is, but at the same time, not all kids do. My son’s dad walked out on us when my son was 7-8 months old. To me it would depend on what happen in the last relationship, was it an unsafe relationship? My son’s father was living with his abusive grandmother. She came at me with her cane while I was feeding my (then) 3 month old son. She had her cane over me and my son’s heads…. Saying she was going to F me up. I talked to my sons dad, he was not bothered by it. He didn’t care that I didn’t feel safe. I went back to my parents house with my son, and told his son to see us where it was safe. A few weeks later my sons’s dad’s grandmother kicked him out too. Then he came to my parents house. It was NOT a very good situation. In 2018 my parents bought us a house. My son’s dad went back to his grandmother a few months after we were in my new house. He doesn’t call, he doesn’t do anything. I tried to reach out to him a few times when my son was little. No replay. My son doesn’t know his dad. My son doesn’t think he has a dads. If you’re on good terms with your unborn child’s biological dad and you want him in her life, then tell him. If didn’t feel safe with him than way out and infant in an unsafe situation?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend doesn't want my ex to know the baby is his: Advice?
Don’t deceive your child this way. It also may be important medically, history of her biological father’s health may become invaluable
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He deserves to know the truth. There’s nothing better than having a dad and a “bonus” dad especially when they are both present and you can coparent. With ancestry, 23 and me, etc the child and biological father are bound to find out. It’s better if they know the truth from the beginning. Biological dad deserves the right to be in your child’s life
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Give the biological dad the opportunity to be the father he is. If he chooses to not be in your daughters life, then you can go on knowing that you handled the situation right. If he accepts his new role, then he should be given the opportunity to father his daughter. Your new love can be there for her in both situations. It’s a win for him either way.
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Be sure who the father is but Gotta tell the father .you can’t not tell him and you can not keep secrets involving a child. Its accepted just more love to go around and if he doesn’t care, your new man can adopt and legally be the father.
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Why can’t your boyfriend be the step dad? It’s just extra love for the kiddo. But I definitely think bio dad deserves to know
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That’s not right. Regardless if things worked out between you two… Thats HIS kid! New boyfriend can be step parent and love just as much and be just as involved. Extra hearts to love and extra arms to hug
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It’s not right to keep him from knowing. He should know he has a child and she should know her father.
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She may very well find out at some point because of all these genetic testing sites. I’ve seen it myself several times (I do genealogy) and it always ends bad for the parent who kept the secret regardless of intentions.
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The biological dad needs to know. The boyfriend needs to understand that, and if he can’t, you probably don’t need a boyfriend. It’s great he wants to step up and be a dad.
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He has a right to know that he has a kid and given the opportunity to be a father. If he chooses not to be I’m her life, that’s on him. Your boyfriend has no right to make a choice that does not concern him.
The biological dad has every right to know that he has a child in this world. Unless he was abusive I don’t see a reason why you have a right to withhold this kind of information from him.
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This is not about you or your boyfriend. Thus is about the child, and the child deserves to have her father in her life.
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Remember what your ex put you through. He has the right to know. But look what
Your new boyfriend is doing .He will make a great DAd.
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Who name on the birth certificate- ? That’s who legal responsibility for the child…
Morality- your child has the Right to who cares about these man’s feelings-
That’s hard - because if he wants to involved you share your child 50 % of time. Missing half of her life. - ," she probably have extra mommy too - " This why I Always advice leave birth certificate blank if not married- unknown.
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Unless he was verbally or emotionally abusive or he raped you then you need to tell him. He has a right to know. It’s not your boyfriends kid so he’s really got no say in the matter. The biological father has every right to know. And your daughter deserves to know who her biological father is. And if he doesn’t want a relationship with her then that’s on him.
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Your baby girl needs her real father in her life, if he is safe.
How old is she now?
This has nothing to do with the new boyfriend. If the new BF wants to commit to being a fatherly role model or an addition to the fatherly responsibilities, he needs to make it legal.
Personally, I think the new BF is already showing signs of child cruelty, by taking her from her real dad.
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Why can’t she have 2 daddies to love her???
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To me this almost sounds like an insecurity issue on your boyfriends part, perhaps even a control thing. It comes across more of him not wanting you to have that co-parenting relationship with your ex rather than he just wanting to be the father figure. He would rather you not tell you ex because if you do then there will always be that need to communicate with your ex, something he doesn’t want you to do. I could be completely wrong, but it might be worth considering his real reason behind his reasoning.
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Thats not fair to your ex or your child who will some day find out and possibly hate you for not letting her get to know her real dad. Your new man can be there also. But whos to say you and him will be forever then your child is left lost and confused cuz he may walk out of her life or may not but either way I would tell the real dad
Dude what’s wrong with people 
. It’s not your boyfriends kid and it’s not right to the ACTUAL father
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The child has a right to know who her father is regardless!! Your boyfriend has no right to even make that choice for your daughter!! Use your own common sense as a mom!! Don’t let him make the choice for u!!
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if you live in the same area as him or his family… knowing may help your child not sleep with their relative
The biological father has rights! You need to do the right thing here by him and by your daughter. If he chooses not to be a part of her life then that’s different but to cheat them both out of knowing each other can have life long repercussions if and when the truth does come out. Telling him doesn’t change things for your current boyfriend. If he is a part of your life he will be apart of your daughters life but all of that needs to be built on a solid an honest foundation. It’s so important for your child not to grow up feeling her life has been a lie and doing differently will drive a wedge between the two of you. You would not have her if it wasn’t for him so respect that and tell him. Best wishes ! 
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The father has the right to know even if you two didn’t work out she has a right to know her father and also for medical reasons
Just think years into the future when it comes out that who this girl thought her whole life was her dad isnt!!
This happened to my husband, he was almost 50 when he found out who he thought was his dad, really wasnt. His real dad is elderly now and has moved far away so they only get to talk on the phone, he also has other siblings he never knew about. Its a sad situation for all.
The child and her father have a right to know each other. If her bio dad has potential to hurt either of you, keep him at a distance. Save her and yourself future heartache and be honest with her.
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What about his parents was they good people not fair for you to keep the baby from him or his parents… That happened to me it was not far to me or my son I am a good person and love grandkids … Now 5 yes later he has to get to no a daughter he did not get a chance to no … For me now I have to form a relationship with my granddaughter and that is not easy being that she is 5 set in her own ways … Not to say she has 2 great older sisters and 1older awesome brother she has to get to no and a bunch of cousins she has to get to no … Now mom has to come with her to see us because she don’t no us … ( my question to you is what are you going to do when he becomes your ex 5 yes from now and he say I’m not her dad because yous are no longer together) Don’t make your daughter go through that let her no her our real family… Be true to your daughter and you can be true to your self…
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You just said you would feel guilty by not saying anything I thing you need to tell him give him that choice to be there or walk away the best that can happen she has 2 dads.
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No. Your kid will resent you.
The truth is the only way.
Even if bio dad isn’t in the picture. It doesn’t change your new mans relationship, (if he really loves her) but it will change yours and your child’s.
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Every secret has a way of coming out, the truth is always best.
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It sounds to me like you have been with the guy for about 8 months. If you’ve left one ‘depressing’ relationship, it sounds like you’ve entered a ‘controlling’ one and neither is healthy. He does deserve to know. YOU are the one who needs to make the right decision for your daughter. As long as he wasn’t abusive, he needs to know and if your boyfriend can’t see that, he’s not the one, especially since 8 months really isn’t enough time to really build a solid relationship.
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Let your ex know that you are pregnant with his kid and have him make the choice if your current boyfriend isn’t happy about it he can get over it your ex has every right to know you are pregnant with his kid.
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How would you feel if it turns out you had a child that got brought into this world without your knowledge ?!
No wonder suicide rates are so high for men !
Unless your child is in harm’s way then you don’t have the right .
And what about when you and this new bloke split how you gunna go asking the ex for help hey I had your kid without you knowing but now I’m single and need help.
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If the ex us a truly good person and can be a great father then tell him but if not then don’t tell him and furthermore don’t let it destroy your current relationship
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Imagine the truth coming out in 20 years (AND IT WILL)!!! Don’t do this to anyone, the child, her Dad and all involved.
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If for nothing else, your daughter deserves to know her medical history. But the ex does deserve to know he has a child. He may not want any part of her life, but that is his choice.
I think it’s completely wrong to hide the fact that the baby is your ex’s from him. Its not you or your boyfriends place to take that away. He should be able to be as involved as he wants. So many fathers have to fight for rights to their own children, don’t make him another one.
Your new boyfriend sounds controlling too, be careful! This is your decision to make and I personally would make it on the basis of whether you want your ex in your life for ever more possibly using your daughter to torment you like many men do. You can tell your daughter when older and let her decide for herself to reach out or not.