Depends on the situation with the ex…if it’s a toxic situation and you need to protect your daughter then let the boyfriend step up and be a great dad…but if the ex really isn’t all that bad then tell him the truth and let him play his part
Personally I think he has the right to know that he does have a child.
What happens after that is up to all parties involved.
Put yourself in his shoes, wouldn’t you like to know that you had a child in this world.
A lot of parents are dead beats but I don’t think that’s even a reason to not allow to know. If you dont want him apart of her life or whatnot than that’s a different story but the whole just knowing that he does have a child should be said.
Everything always comes out, and you are better off saying the truth from the start, your daughter could resent you later on for not doing so.
I hope all the best to your descion 
So i think it all depends on how the ex was. Personally it sucked not knowing who my real dad was growing up. Now we dont really have a relationship at all but its not my fault. If you feel like the new bf will be a much better father then why not. I think this all depends on how you feel about your ex being around all the time as a father or the war youll have with the father
If he wasn’t abusive or anything that would put you and her in danger. I feel he needs to know. He has the right to know he is a father and given the opportunity to be that. At that point if he chooses not to then his loss. And good forbid anything health wise happens in the future and you may need him. Also if you plan on never telling him that means the plan would be to never tell her if she ever finds out when she is older could hurt your relationship. Your boyfriend is being selfish and at the end of the day it is not his choice.
Always tell the truth. He has an advantage over you if you lie to keep him happy. He doesn’t deserve you. Why start a relationship with lies.
Tell the ex , He should know, not only is it not right to without such a life changing event from them but it could be detrimental to the child. What if there is a family history on dad side and your child becomes sick , and you dont know what’s wrong with them. Could delay diagnosing ect. Of course I would wish that any child but it could be devastating. Give them a chance to be responsible and be a part of his daughter’s life. If new guy loves you he should understand this. What baby girl wouldn’t want to have two loving fathers. New guy can still be a part just be bonus dad.
Put yourself in his shoes……wouldn’t you want to know if you fathered a child?
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If you feel your daughter won’t be safe alone with her Bio dad I wouldn’t tell him. Since y’all aren’t married he doesn’t have any rights to her unless he takes you to court or you file for child support.
It’s not right to keep that from bio dad to it’s selfish of your bf to even ask that
The truth will come out eventually and your daughter will hate your for keeping the truth from her
Best advise… leave! Let him have as much or little involvement with his child because that is the right thing g for you to do for your child. The right thing for you to do for you… is, leave him.
No fuck that the bio dad has rights too. I get where you’re coming from but that’s a pretty big secret to keep from your kid imo
Would be very cruel not to tell the biological dad.
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How would you feel if you found out you had a kid and no one tells you please just tell him
So think of it this way if you had a child taken away and never had a chance to see your child because dad didn’t want the child to know you how would you feel?
You can’t do that, it’s not right and it’s not his choice or decision. YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM. You Owe it to Him!!!
Tell him, who knows he may sign over his rights and your new boyfriend can adopt her
If you have to ask then you already know the answer
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He had a right to know he has a baby…
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Tell him… its not about you or your new BF.
He needs to know he has a child it his right.
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Nevermind any of u adults, ur CHILD deserves to know who his/her dad is! Smh
If you feel like it is not good then do not tell him. Let your current bf be the father
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Your ex needs to know that it his baby. It’s only right.
I think I would tell him , give him a chance to be her dad , I don’t think I could live with that either
If he is a good father it will be enough if he is insecure get rid of him and get a man
If you do not tell her , Your baby, is going to grow into an adult .
When your adult daughter finds out the truth (she eventually will), she is going to be very judge mental about the situation.
More than likely, not very happy with you. Probably , downright angry.
Your choice, is going to effect her life.
If there is nothing wrong with her biological father , then you have” no reason” to not let her have a relationship with her biological father.
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Bullshit he has every right to know and so does the child
They both DESERVE THE TRUTH
Honesty the best policy
Honesty is the best policy!
At the end of the day the truth always comes out and if your daughter finds out at a late stage they may end up resenting you for the choice, at the end of the day its gotta be your choice but this is a minefield of possible emotional trauma, mistrust and resent… hope you find the answer and I wish I could be more help…
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Then again your posting this on Facebook he knows now lol
You tell him.
It’s not your boyfriends place to deny her father.
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Tell the father of the baby!
Your ex deserves to know he’s a dad. Your boyfriend sounds insecure about the possibility of your ex being an involved father instead of rationally thinking how all 3 of you could potentially have a successful co-parenting relationship.
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Exactly what I said about it on the other side you posted this in…Wtf why do you want a man that wants your child to not have the opportunity to know their real father? That’s taking away from her smh he would be gone in my book too selfish for me
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My thoughts on this, I didn’t have a relationship with my mother but my father never lied about who she was. How would you feel if someone was doing what you are doing to your child to you? If you wouldn’t like it then you should think long and hard about how it will effect your child’s life.
Don’t keep it from him. He deserves to know. It’s up to him as weather he will step up and actually be there. Chances are if you already had her he’s going to be skeptical that she is his.
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Go with your gut if u don’t wanna hide it from your ex don’t 
Unless the biological father is a woman/child beater, sexual predator, etc then he needs to know.
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Follow your own feelings about it… do you think your bf will still be there for her if yall didn’t work out for whatever reason? I had a similar situation but my relationship with that person failed and he also failed my daughter. I should have followed my gut and not allow him to be put on her birth certificate. I let him make that decision. I wish I could undo it but he refused to show up for court and refused to do a DNA test to prove she’s not his. It’s a mess. So think about it. Your bf can still be a father figure without making it official. But I believe birth father has a right to atleast know. You make the decision on what’s best for your baby. Don’t do what I did and let someone else take control bc now I have to fix a big situation somehow. I’m still trying to figure that out
The actual father should be told, it’s not right to keep it from him.
He has a right to know!!! Your child has a right to know her father. Whether it worked out with you and him or not!
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He should know if your boyfriend wants to be a father figure he still can but it is not fair to your daughter or her father to keep it from them.
I can’t believe this question was asked out loud. Unless one is prepared to lie to their child her entire life in order to pacify a man who will likely be temporary once the lies start unraveling his life too, the right thing to do would be to tell the bio dad and ditch the other fool for asking you to lie to your daughter for eternity.
Same exact situation except my ex knew and could careless. Not only about the baby I was pregnant with but about our other daughter. Luckily my boyfriend has taken care of and raised her as his! This is her daddy an as long as it’s up to me she will never know that her real dad is a POS…
I’m sorry but you are a sick and evil individual if you don’t let that man know it is his child. Also if your new boyfriend feels this way evidently he is a sick individual too. He shouldn’t have anything to do with the decision you make about this.
First. The fact that ur boyfriend feels he has any say about this is not his concern… and raises a red flag…
Second… as crappy as it may be the truth will come back to haunt u if u hold it in… u will layer regret it… do what’s right and tell the truth. However that being said if hes toxic and dangerous. Go to court for custody.
Put the shoe on the other foot, shouldn’t even be a question, your boyfriend sounds insecure. Stepdads are a must, and a boyfriend is not that. Stop letting men run your life think outside the box. You got your whole life with a child?
The truth always comes out at some point Good luck whatever you decide to do.
BEFORE thinking strategy CAN we
clarify something ? ? ?
- Did the first relationship end because he
depressed you ,
" O R "
Did he END the relationship when he realized You were not capable of deciphering logical answers and responsible actions when faced with anything important in Life ?
Also , . . . " I just left a relationship that was depressed for me ,. . . "
so , that line in itself is telling about you AND then add
. . . " and it turns out . . " , that continuance , structured that way says more .
Not trying to be mean; but maybe use birth control until you have you’re life in order. Good luck.
Ditch all three .
Buy a bus ticket to a town no one has heard of in a state no one wants to go .
Start your life over fresh and try to learn how to live without exposing innocent children to your mistakes ???
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Yea the real father deserves to know the truth and make his own decision if he wants to step up or not and it’s not your bf’s place at all. Besides the karma that would come back to you and the stepfather for lying about who the real father is will come back savagely and you both could easily lose your daughter in the long run. Just be honest and let things take their course.
Your ex has a right to know unless he raped you or something like that
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If he’s going to be a deadbeat why bother.
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Tell him, he has a right to know
Don’t be a shitbag and tell him!
Yee Haww, I like you girls that spread that thang around!
Tell him. He deserves to know. If your boyfriend really loves you he will understand
You should be honest
He has a right to know
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Be honest now for the baby’s sake…God bless 
I would let him know.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend doesn't want my ex to know the baby is his: Advice?
Unfortunately, I think it’s best to tell the ex. It’s his baby, too, and he deserves to know. However, I don’t think that changes anything. Your boyfriend is the dad that is commited to raising her and that’s okay! He can still be “dad” and a primary caretaker.
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You need to tell! Who’s name is on the birth certificate? Let him decide if he wants to be apart of her life. Maybe he would be willing to give up rights if there is a man wanting to adopt. Maybe he would love to be apart of her life. Either way, it’s not your decision to make. It’s his.
Dad should be told. If you keep it from your kid and they find out when they are older they could very well resent you and want nothing to do with you because you didn’t tell them the truth.
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He definitely needs to know and have a choice as to his involvement. The boyfriend has nice intentions and can of course still be a prominent figure in the daughters life as well.
Ultimately you don’t want to carry around a big family secret for so many years and when your daughter finds out eventually she will resent you both for keeping that from her.
Even if you think she can’t find out there’s always a way these things come out!
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I agree with everyone else! He deserves to know. Keeping that from someone is pretty messed up.
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Father deserves to know. And so will the child when she grows up. I grew up being lied too and it’s a horrible feeling. And the child is always treated different even when they dont mean too it still happens. And your daughter will hold it against you one day. The Father deserve to know. Whether you guys get along or not it’s not about you it’s about your child and her fathers relationship
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Hell no it’s not right, not to your daughter or your ex.
Tell him PERIOD.
There is no question. Your daughter deserves to know who her biological father is, and her biological father has the RIGHT to be in his child’s life.
Your current boyfriend doesn’t get a say in this one.
Technically none of you get a say…her biological father has RIGHTS to his child.
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Was best my dad didn’t know I was his would of been hell for me he wasn’t a good dad to my sibling yet acted father of the year to his ex wife’s kid who’s not his. Both kids adults now and he still plays his mind games it’s not fair. My step dad stood up married my mum I didn’t know anything step dad was my dad to my knowledge took his last name with my mum when I was 2 years old. Just don’t put dad down on birth certificate you can tell him if you want to it’s not up to anyone but it could be good or it could be bad. Your partner seems to want to have that child like his own and if his great to the kid that’s dad and if he loves that child like his own then awesome
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If the bio dad is abusive or there is a safety concern, I wouldn’t tell him.
On the flip side, something could happen to your boyfriend and you eventually might need child support. The child might need some medical interventions that are able to be given by a direct relative. There’s a lot more than just your boyfriend wants you to not tell.
Abuses and safety are the only reasons I think would deserve a no.
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Tell the BIO dad, it doesn’t mean your boyfriend can’t be her dad. Love is not based on DNA, even if he isn’t her “real” father that doesn’t make him any less her dad if he plans to raise her. You never know the BIO dad may not want anything to do with her. I will tell you from personal experience, if Bio dad doesn’t want her make sure you have everything done to remove his rights as soon as possible
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I would definitely tell him. Things come up, things happen and its better to know ahead of time. Plus one day she may do a DNA test on her own and find out.
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You didn’t tell him you were pregnant and allow him to be a part of that journey, makes no sense why you wanna include him after the fact. Of course he should know he has a child, he shoulda been told soon as you knew.
You should tell your ex. That’s good child. And it isn’t fair to not only him, but your daughter. To keep her away from her father. That is not your boyfriend’s choice to make. And that is extremely selfish. He has every right to know. One day, your daughter might find out. And, she will hold that resentment against you. For keeping her dad away. And for not even telling him that he has a child out there. He’s done nothing to not need apart of her life. Just because you’re not together, does not mean he shouldn’t be in his daughters life.
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Soooo my mom and dad broke up, she got pregnant to a guy. Got back together with my dad and they decided to raise me together. I find out at the age of 23 that my dad wasn’t my bio dad…My bio dad still doesn’t know I exist and I can’t find him. I was PISSED. I questioned my whole life. People that I thought were my blood…weren’t. My medical history was inaccurate. Don’t lie…just don’t. Tell that man you have his baby.
He has a right to know. Your current boyfriend should understand. A kid can have multiple father figures. It’s a red flag he ask you to not tell the dad.
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I understand where your boyfriend is coming from. He wants to father the baby in every way without feeling second to the biological father. But the thing is, it’s wrong to take away the bio dad’s choice. Can you imagine how you’d feel if one day you learned you had a 10 year old running around that you’ve never known about? You can be very clear to him that your boyfriend will be involved. That he will be at the hospital and at your side raising this child. But the bio dad deserves to make the choice himself. I was petty and jealous about my kids when I was younger. But as they’ve grown I’ve realized that you really can’t have too many good adult role models in their life. And if he chooses not to be involved, well at least you know it wasn’t by your hand.
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I relate tthis I didn’t want to tell my exmy son was how but my fiance convinced me and let me tell you something hunny his way was " my didn’t raise me he has another family but I do talk to him he has always been there for me an to talk too about anything" I thought if that with my son now I look back after us loosing his dad in February and I’m thankful my son knows his dad he was a trigger for me but my son loves him and he’s great to him so I can’t be that B mom to him because every kid needs the dad rather the dad knows it or not. He don’t want her oh well more for you and you’re bf to love. But if does then let him enjoy her too she only gets one real dad♥️
Dont do it my current boyfriend and me thought that we should do the same thing and the real father didn’t want anything to do for like a year and a half with his kid and then all the sudden when he’s 2 and 1/2 once to see him and when I don’t respond starts telling people I’m selling my three-month-old on the black market just because he was three months old when he last seen him lol my sons almost three and this is a recent thing so
He definitely deserves to know he has a child. He should at least be offered the opportunity to be a part of his childs life. Your boyfriend can still be a father figure but should not replace her actual father. Your daughter deserves the chance to know her biological father. That would be an entire other half of her life that you’d be stealing away by keeping it from her.
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from a moral standard, the new dude is wrong. incredibly wrong.
im 30 years old, and was completely devastated at 13 years old when my biological fathers mother told me over coffee and uno that the man i had been calling dad since i could remember, indeed was not my biological father. dont do that to your child.
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Sounds like your fella wont be able to cope with ex in the picture which is on him and not your child.please tell him and come up with a plan for weekend visits and you un partner can make his own child…wink wink…all the best.
tell him, he has a right to know. just like your daughter has the right to know when she is old enough to understand
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You will not only have guilt but your baby will be an adult one day and you may have some explaining to do….not to mention boyfriends come and go….what happens if this relationship does not work out….people promise all kind of things when everything is going well…I would be questioning this boyfriend’s character for want he’s suggesting you do….that’s a red flag to me
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Honestly Only You know the birth Dad. I would have done it a whole lot differently had I know my son and I’s future. My ex made our lives a living Hell until my son went to court against him and wanted nothing more to do with him. My son is 31 has been on medication since the 5 grade because of his dad. The last time he laid eyes on is father was 20 years ago and that was in court.
I married my husband with 3 kids their real father and my husband were find with each other they got along great it’s best to be honest then I had 2 more with my husband and he treated them all equal
You need to tell the father he has the right to know . If he decides not to be apart of the child’s life its a choice hes made . But if at anytime in life your child needs blood bone marrow anything that could save them . He is the match . As a father myself I could not imagine not knowing about my child
That decision belongs to you and you alone everyone else can give u a opinion but its your choice.
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I grew up being denied the fact that my father was another man and I found out through chatter in the kitchen at 14. Things changed in the household after that. I hated my mom and step dad. Never really had a good relationship. I would of loved to have known my father more than just a name. I tried reaching out to him after I had my kids and it was ok but bc he lived in Mexico it was a little difficult to bond. I lost my dad this year due to Covid.
If you dont tell your ex and he finds out he can file for full custody because u hid it from him the courts dont like that who knows maybe he wont be in the child’s life but you live with your boyfriend so he still be there full time
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As difficult as I’m sure it’ll be. The ex definitely deserves to know. It would be great if you could all co-parent together.
The fact that he doesnt want her bio dad to know is a BIG red flag.
It could be a problem in the future there is no guarantee that you and your NOW boyfriend will stay together forever. Did you register the baby’s birth under your now boyfriends name if you did then he will pay child support if you guys breakup even if he’s not the father cause he signed at hospital saying he was the father, If he didn’t tell you he wanted baby under his name then he just wants the real father out of the way for now, but if you guys should split up the burden will fall on your old ex’s shoulders cause he will be responsible for present and back child support. So both you and now boyfriend do what’s right
Why was the relationship depressing? Was the ex abusive? Mentally or physically? If he was then I see no problem not informing him.
If it was just a bad relationship, inform him and allow him the choice.
Tell the ex but draw the line with him and make it clear she has someone to raise her