Were you aware, when you started dating him that he was poly? If so, then you shouldn’t be surprised. This is what you signed on for. If no, then he lied to you.
Regardless of knowing or not, your partner should be sensitive to your feelings. No matter what his preferences are, if he isn’t considerate of you, it’s time to go.
I mean this in the nicest way, but if you knew he was poly beforehand, and agreed to enter a poly relationship, you really can’t complain 
Obviously, partners need to be agreed upon with both parties, but you can’t just cut it cold turkey and decide it isn’t right in total. Also, if the attention isn’t there in the primary relationship, it won’t work.
Maybe you aren’t cut out for the lifestyle if it’s bothering you so much?
He’s told you right off the bat what to expect.
Some of the things people walk in and then complain. You knew from the jump he was for the streets and now u want him for yourself 
You knew he was poly so assume you knew he’d want to introduce another some point.
If you’re not into poly then that person is never going to be for you or fulfil your needs only.
Lordt…good luck girl you knew the boundaries when you entered into this type of relationship. Yes you got your things and want someone to tend to your emotions with the loss and a toxic relationship with your mom. You are also setting a standard for your child so with all that in play maybe figuring yourself out first is ideal and the proceeding with a relationship might be best.
Screw that POLY garbage…
My advice would be to focus on you and make sure you have complete control of your emotions. I think if you do that you can get a better perspective on things and how to deal with the situation.
Being with someone in the poly community and being non-poly (I can’t think of the word) is hard. Especially if your partner doesn’t respect it. Now I’m not saying that’s what’s going in. I think you need to really have a heart to heart with your partner. Explain how you feel. How it makes you feel. If he loves and respects you enough then this shouldn’t be an issue. But if he gets mad or upset or even judgemental then you really need to re think this relationship.
I myself ( and I’m only speaking for myself) so I mean no disrespect to anyone by any means …but I just couldn’t to me just one being poly is a excuse to cheat…
Why not be in a open relationship so both parties can do there on thing ?
I must add the reason I say my opinion only is I’m obviously ba jealous over thinker… and hurt my own feels …
What is wrong with you that you would accept this as a “relationship”?? Move on, get out and get yourself a paternity test. Next time find yourself a man who believes in monogamy. Your poor child 
Adults are so selfish! It’s always “me, me, me!” What about the poor innocent kids dragged into these horrible situations with zero stability in their lives??? I hope your kid grows up without any lasting damage from this situation and I hope that you make better decisions in the future for your child’s sake. You wrote this as if YOU are the victim. 
if you are not poly, and have no intentions of being that then you need to leave and be with a man who wants monogamy.
If you’re not poly, why are you in a relationship with somebody that is?
That’s what they do… they cheat with permission…
Which is fine for some people but if you’re not about that lifestyle your hearts gonna hurt all the time. Stop making it about him and excepting his lifestyle and realize what it is you want in your heart,  you brought your child into this relationship, you don’t think that’s confusing to see?? Your child‘s gonna grow up thinking it’s OK for men to have multiple women, and mom be okay with it. But hey… 
Get urself out of that toxic situation find urself a man of ur own, don’t be a fool, sorry bout ur dad
Your not poly and that’s okay but time to leave the relationship if your not okay w him being poly.
Poly relationships are not for you. You need someone who can be more attentive to your needs, and is all about you and just you. You tell him this isn’t working. You don’t like that he dates other people. You thought you could handle it but it’s really not your thing.
If that’s not your lifestyle you need to end it you’ll always feel this way
Betrayal is still Betrayal, even if he is honest about it. You need to dump him if you want a real relationship. Continue if not. I hate to be so blunt, but I think that’s exactly what you need.
Oof. Go get yourself stable and worry about you and your child. Let him go off and do whatever - without you.
If you want monogamy he isn’t the one for you. That’s all I am saying. I’m just not good at sharing a man.
Why would you lower yourself to be second choice? You deserve to be number one. He has no respect for you, and “your” relationship. I understand and sorry for your loss. But you need to take charge of your life. It’s going to cause you to step out of your comfort zone. But this relationship isn’t good by any means. Get your baby and start a new life, sweetie. 
That’s too complicated for me. I’d walk away.
Ground 
rules …… make them stick to them no wiggle room !
If you’re not down for such a relationship (tbh I would not be, but to each their own)… then don’t waste your time with him. He’ll never treat you as #1 (sad but true). I would run far away from him and never look back. Also sorry for your loss. 
No offense, but you can’t use excuses when you already knew he was poly 
I guess the question is are you also poly? Most relationships in that context only work if that’s what both partners want. I would recommend also to function (not sure if you have done this) you two need to set rules around that. I’m just not clear if this is something you also want, it sounds more one sided.
Never allow yourself to play second fiddle. Move on now and create a life that can be for you. He sounds toxic and if you can get away from a toxic mother then use that strength to find a life that makes you happy. You may feel love for this guy but it’s time you break free and love yourself. It will be worth it once you find your own happiness
That’s not an ethical polyam relationship. I’m sorry for you and him. He needs to attend to your needs before saturating his relationships with others. She is a poor meta for you as well. I’ve been in the lifestyle for over 8 years and this is unfortunately a common problem. He is being selfish. You need to express your needs clearly and if he cannot meet those needs, maybe it’s time to move on. Good luck.
If you want monogamy he’s not the one for you. Move on and find someone who wants only you.
I wouldn’t share a kit Kat bar 
let alone a man.id definitely catch a case 
Leave the man child and be happy
This is a toxic relationship and not something you need right now. You need to heal yourself and your child shouldnt see this as normal. Some people may find this type of relationship okay if they themselves are but it seems as you are not okay with it. Start fresh with someone who wants you and your child and thats enough for them. Much love to you darling.
If you don’t share the same views on poly and you’re not understanding of the lifestyle you will not be able to live in that lifestyle. Find yourself a monogamous relationship and try to set a good example for your child. best of luck
There have to be rules in a poly relationship for that to work, such as respecting when your partner isn’t comfortable with something and not pursuing it. It sounds to me like he wants to be with you and still hook up with other people and this is the way the thinks will be ok.
One partner can’t be ok being poly alone. It’s both of you being ok with it or else it’s really just one person cheating even if they tell you, in my opinion
If you are feeling lonely you need to discuss that and allow him to work on that with you.
I’m in a monogamous relationship where a lot of effort is being applied and still feeling a bit lonely. I’m not sure poly is the problem, but if it is you need to address that as well. You are responsible for your own happiness. You may need to make some changes but that doesn’t necessarily mean you need to break up. Maybe you need to be poly and find another companion, although, I’d be willing to bet you aren’t poly and probably need a monogamous partner.
I mean… you knew he was poly? But now you don’t want him to be? If you can’t accept the way he lives and believes, then you should probably leave. You knew ahead where he stood at.
I have nothing against folks that want to be in a poly relationship but I truly believe it takes a very special type of person to do such a thing. I know I am not mature enough to handle that. I’m too jealous and I can only do one on one. So kudos to the folks that can handle this type of relationship. That being said, it doesn’t sound to me like you yourself can handle this type of relationship, either. Might be time to cut your losses and dip out!
Honey you have traded one toxic relationship for another. Cut the ties completely!!! Seek counseling…get to know how to help yourself and your child!! Sharing your man leads to depression, anger, self hate. Put a stop to it and start a new life!!!
Poly sounds like a way out for cheating…idk it’s not for me but I don’t judge…I have been cheated on before so this isn’t for me at all and after basically losing both parents I’d tell him to chill out or I’m leaving…you sound too good for this
So. I’m polyam woman. When I feel jealousy I recognize whats feeling neglected.
So basically at this point in time you feel like you require extra attention and your scared him adding someone to his plate will take away from the extra care you feel you need.
I call this an adjustment period. Tell him In the adjustment period you want a little extra time for reassurance. Also consider parrell poly instead of kitchen table. Like a don’t ask don’t tell. He can say ‘i have plans on Thursday but I can make time for you Friday’ or so on and so on. Communication is free. I suggest parrell poly at the moment cause it seems like your overwhelmed and hearing about another partner will just add to that. Just use good clear wording so it’s not argumentative. And I highly suggest groups and reading into polyam. Especially if it’s a polyam/monogomous relationship.
Also, this life isn’t for everyone. It’s okay to say this isn’t for me. But recognize when to much is to much. Monogomy is beautiful, polyam is beautiful. Choose what relationship style works for you. What you can deal with and what you just can’t.
Poly isn’t for everyone. . I’ve rarely seen healthy relationships come from it. . Honey, I don’t think it’s for you.
Poly=selfish:all about me mentality
Love is not selfish it’s selfless. You’ll never have what you need in this kind of relationship.
STOP saying that children shouldn’t be involved in poly relationships their is no danger to them. Alot of children actually do better with the more love, seeing the communication between adults, parents are happy, kids are happy.
Poly is just as much of a real relationship as any monogamous relationship.
Just because poly isn’t for you, doesn’t mean it’s not perfect for others so stop being judgmental and rude !
Continuing with this man will keep your heart broken. Regain your self respect and take care of yourself and your son. This guy doesn’t deserve your love.
Y’all talking bad about this man ! He’s didn’t lie or keep anything from her from what I can gather ! The lifestyle isn’t for everyone but to say he’s a man child , selfish , and doesn’t love her! That’s not true at all ! Humans can love more than one person at a time ! Right now I do this very thing ! I love Danil and Ernesto with all of my heart ! Please don’t talk ill about a lifestyle just because it isn’t your cup of tea
Maybe not date a poly?! If your feeling some kinda way then this isn’t the relationship for you.
Poly people can cheat too, and he is cheating
I may be ignorant but I believe the only way for poly to truly work is if you’re both poly. In this case, it sounds more like an out for cheating.
It’s sound like being with someone who is poly isn’t the right relationship for you. You can’t expect him to change. I think you should move on from this relationship. Or I suppose you can start a relationship with someone else as well.
Please take care of yourself, move away from him so that you and your child can heal properly, he is selfish.
Never seen a good relationship come out of being poly…
If you’re not into the poly thing don’t date people who are. It won’t end well. I see this too often where one of the persons are into poly and the other compromises for them and ends up hurt.
U need to tell him that of he don’t like listen he ain’t the one
It sounds more like an ‘open relationship’ maybe? Idk, but poly is all people in it together I assume.
If he’s dating someone else…you can too. If this isn’t for you then you need to end the relationship.
You need to be honest with him you want to be in a relationship with somebody who’s in a relationship only with you you need to tell him you cannot accept this lifestyle and you probably need to move on because you’re only going to get angry and hurt more and more and you don’t want to bring your child into this type of relationship so you need to be honest with him and probably move on
Sounds like theybhave different definitions of dating- but thats not important- thats really their issue… if you were feeling lonely and sad his dating others and being poly is going to exacerbate that feeling for you. It sounds like your not poly- and thats fine not everyone is- and not everyone has to stay in that just because they enjoy someone who is. Im sorry for your recent losses, sounds like theres probably another one coming- you might try to make it a friendly parting so you can remain friends post disentanglement- poly folks are usually better at that than average joes. Sounds like youll need a good friend.
I would go the other way . This most likely will never sit okay with u
Sounds like you need some monogamy from a stronger willed man!
Poly relationships aren’t for everyone. All you can do is talk to him and decide what’s best for you at the end of the day
I dont think someone who isnt poly can date someone that is and be happy. And really… Poly doesnt work long term.
You really shouldn’t be in a relationship with him if you can’t handle it. Poly isn’t a choice it’s who people are. You are asking him to be mono because of your shit. That’s selfish and not at all how poly relationships work. You screwed up letting him claim your kid so soon.
Doesn’t seem like you need to be in a poly relationship. It’s all about the consent and it seems like he’s overlooking your feelings and it’s not okay.
I think you have to decide if that’s a lifestyle for you. If this is emotional distress due to your loss or if you truly aren’t ok with this.
There are many different types of relationships and if that’s not something you’re comfortable with, let him know and move on to a different type. Also let’s him move on with that girl and whoever else they want to be with.
Nothing wrong with trial and error.
Be honest with yourself.
Right now a poly relationship may not be for you. That’s ok.
You need more right now. That’s ok too.
Your mental health matters and if it’s not working, move on. But, heal before you start anything new. Like, therapy, do the work.
Him telling you he wants to be in a ploy relationship in my opinion is him telling you, just you is not enough for him…if he truly loved you, you would be enough, period. We don’t seek outside of our relationship if we are happy with our current partner… You need to dig deep and decide what you want. If that’s bread crumbs and wasting your life with someone whom doesn’t value you, or your feelings- go for it.
Are you poly? Sounds you need to find what you are not getting from him-things change when he sees that
I don’t think I could live that way. I would tell him the poly relationship was a mistake and go on with just you and your child. Build a bond with your child. Try to come to grips with your father’s passing. Wait till you can find someone who wants a relationship with just you. That’s the best idea. Don’t introduce the new man to your child right away. Let some time go by. Make sure he’s going to stick around. You don’t want to have your child get attached again only to have it not work out.
There’s a lot of people commenting on here that have no clue about polyamory. It can be a scary concept to grasp and understand. If he’s following the rules and boundaries the two of you have set them he hasn’t done anything wrong. it’s not a “toxic relationship”. If you’re feeling jealous you need to talk to him. If you think it’s because of what’s going on in your life talk to him. Insecurities? Talk to him. No longer want poly? Talk to him. You have control over how it plays out. You said your bf is poly, does that mean he is but you aren’t?
Your more women then I am!
There’s no way in hell I could do it!
Only thing I can say is RUN!!!
Poly 
aka I want to always be able “to be” with someone else, no commitment to you and you only. How can someone even do that, especially when there are kids involved? Like wth… SMH. Like do you sit on the couch with your kids watching a movie, playing a board game, read to them and tuck them into bed maybe while the other is out getting it on with someone else? No self respect, but hey, that’s just my opinion…
Ladies, if you are strictly monogamous and against polyamory, I don’t think you’re the right person to be commenting giving this girl advice. Most of you are angry at the fact that Polly even exists and it shows in your comments 
Sounds like you’re going through a lot and your plate is full at the moment. Tell him it’s an added stressor for you right now. If he doesn’t respect that, and you can’t get over it, you need to move on for your mental health.
I think you need to do what is best for you and your child and and find someone who is for you and who deserve you.
Leave
You deserve someone who loves you and only you
I did poly for a little while it’s very hard to keep up you need to have a very hard time station with him or walk away
Why is everyone saying that he’s neglecting her? Has she told him that at this point in time she needs more from him? Or is he supposed to be a mind reader? Sooo he’s completely honest about exploring connections and yet is the villain.
Lame reactions tbh.
Sounds like they just need to have an honest conversation.
I can sorta see how it would suit some lifestyles but the person in question does sound rather confused and grieving for her Dad give her some tim/ breathing space then she may be strong enough to tell him **** off
Did you know about him being poly from the start? If yes then that’s on you, not him. If you found out after y’all were moved in and serious than I say just part ways. It’s okay if his lifestyle isn’t for you, but it’s also okay for him to live as he pleases.
Sounds like he wants just use that as an excuse to cheat. Poly doesn’t work like this. Pretty sure he sprung this on you while in the relationship and this should’ve been discussed way before hand.
From cheating, to open, to poly. We are a mess.
How can only one of you be poly? That don’t seem right
Did you know he was poly from the beginning? If not, then he deceived you and your relationship was built on dishonestly. That would be a deal breaker for me. Only you can decide if that’s the lifestyle you want and if you want to raise your child that way.
If you’re already feeling sad and lonely then of course him spending time with another woman would upset you. You have to decide if you’re willing to feel lonely in your relationship because he won’t be there for you all the time if he is splitting time between you and another woman. Toss a job in there and you might hardly ever get to see him. This is the reality of poly life and a lot of people just can’t handle not being someone’s one and only. No judgement but you have to figure out if this is what you want for your life considering you said HE’S poly I assume you’re not. That usually doesn’t work out.
Love yourself First! Why do you accept this then?? Crazy! Seems like he has all the Control! Wake up woman! Better stay alone than accept these crumbs!
Sometimes the things that we accept and how we feel changes over time… And that is OK. What at one time didn’t seem like a big deal possibly has more of a profound impact on you since you are now a mother. It is OK to change your mind. If something does not add positivity to your life, support your self-esteem, and has become a stressor then maybe it is time to reevaluate what you truly want. His lifestyle seems pretty set in stone but you are in no way boxed in. You determine your next move, no one else. Do it confidently and without any regret. I wish you the best of luck!
Um… yeah he has been.
I would say if he’s been open about being poly from the beginning and you agreed, your emotions don’t get to change him. You can’t ask someone to change because you feel some way. You have two options, you can ask him to comfort you about those emotions and get past all the other stuff, or you can leave and find a relationship more suitable for your preferences.
Listen,this crap will never bring you piece of mind. Go your merry way cuz he’s never gonna change and the child will probably get over you leaving anyway. Remember you deserve better treatment than this and you are strong enough to do the right thing. God has someone better for you in mind,trust me. And,don’t you dare act depressed,crazy,or anything like that in front of him either. Just later him,like in See ya Later! You’ll be glad you did and who wants sloppy seconds anyway.
If you aren’t able to be in a poly relationship then get out. You get to decide what you want and need. And right now you need to take care of yourself. Poly is hard. Really hard on a good day
Oh heck to the NO get out.
In all honesty you knew he was poly when you started dating him. You made it okay. You can’t just tell him out of nowhere that you’re not okay with it anymore. Should have stopped from the beginning and if he didn’t like it then BYE.
You did that to yourself knowing hes poly… dont feel bad for you fars that
Na-na-na-na hey-hey-hey, kiss him good bye.
LEAVE. This arrangement is NO longer working for you. Take your child and go. Don’t look back! Your future is in front of you! This man needs to be in your rearview mirror. I know it’s going to be very hard and you’ve suffered a lot of tragedy recently but YOU CAN DO THIS! It’s a step TOWARD the life you want. Do it for you and your child!
You both need to make sure to do the work for a polyam relationship to work…But YOU definitely need to do your own work on the subject. From books, to support groups, to podcasts. You can not just jump into a polyam relationship even when you yourself are staying mono.
Go find a another boyfriend as well
You want monogamy but he is not monogamous. It’s time to leave.
Unfortunately you put yourself in that type of relationship
Girl pull yourself together & get out … he is just cheating and the fact that you have allowed it, it will always be a thing … It’s like he is holding you having a child and him playing daddy over your head… You and your child is a package deal wtf tell him to kick rocks asap