My boyfriend is trying to pressure me to get married

After being single for 8 yrs I started dating a guy a month ago. We live in different towns so we don’t see each other every day but we do travel to and fro when we can. So we’ve done these trips only twice now in the past month of being together and now he’s getting frustrated with me over kids. I’ve never been married nor have kids. He is divorced with no kids and he badly wants kids. He’s been pressuring me to move to his town, drop everything and just go to him. I told him I’m celibate so there can’t be anything like moving in together before marriage. Then he starts pressuring for marriage like he asked me what I’d say if he asked me to marry him. He still lives with his parents, works for his parents, doesn’t have a car, and is tight on money. Which isn’t a problem for me right now, but how can he just ask about marriage so soon? And expect me to just give up everything and go to him to a town I don’t particularly like? I’m in the process of starting my own business so it’s also a lot of pressure and frustration and finances aren’t where it should be. Then on top of all this he asks me if I want kids coz we’re both not getting younger. Both in late 30s. I said I don’t want to just have kids immediately after marriage and also finances need to be in place considering he still lives with his parents and there’s gonna be a wedding to pay for too and he needs to get his own place and a car and all that 1st. And I still want some time as a married couple before there’s children. Then he gets frustrated with me and cuts me short with an attitude that he doesn’t wana fight and then leaves the conversation. Is he manipulative and trying to guilt trip me into marriage and getting pregnant? He doesn’t consider my dreams he just wants me to fall into what he plans. Besides this he’s really sweet and loving but I’m getting scared this won’t work out. And I really want it to work because after being single for 8 years he seemed worth the shot. Just need some advice from you’ll please. I’m strong willed so I’m not the type of woman to just say yes and amen to everything the man wants. And he gets an attitude when i try to be reasonable and logic

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All of this after only a month? Run. Run now. Major red flags everywhere. Plus his pressuring after you stated what you want is manipulative and controlling and if this is the first month, it’s only going to get worse the farther your relationship gets. You do not want kids with that. Drop him like a hot potato because the warning signs are everywhere. This is not safe.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend is trying to pressure me to get married

That’s not a grown man that’s a little boy trying to play house.

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Uhhh what a psycho. Run.

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Nope. Nope. Nope, nope, NOPE.

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Giant red flags here!! A month in the he wants to get married? Sheesh!

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Don’t do it! If he can’t wait for you to be ready. He ain’t the one :point_up:

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One month? No way. Run, sweetie.

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If he’s living with his parents an don’t have a home or money how is he going to mine you an a baby…. I would have broke it off seems you have yourself in a stable position to go into a relationship that seems toxic

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Don’t do it. Take things slow. You don’t want to be or feel “stuck” a year or 2 down the road.

The fact that he is rushing it is a big red flag. You haven’t been together long at all. Honestly, I would not be with him. He’s looking for marriage and kids to keep you stuck by the sound of it because honestly living with his parents, working for his parents, no car?? What can he offer children or you other than more struggles? NOPE…better to be single.

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After a month? Yeah I would drop him.

He sounds like a leech. This is all sorts of weird

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Step back first of all you don’t even know this man you just questioned the obvious don’t make a wrong a choice because once you have kids you deal with this man forever and you don’t even know him now really

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I would tell him it’s not working out and you don’t see a future with him.

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This guy has more red flags than there are traffic lights in Boston.

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Get out of this “relationship” NOW!!

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Absolutely not. Move on, you guys are in very different spots in your life and if he’s in his late 30s still living with his parents that’s a red flag right there. You need to find someone who is more at level with where you are and what you want in life. Don’t settle for him only because it’s been 8 years. 8 years should have been plenty of time for you to figure out exactly what you want in a man and he sure as shit ain’t it.

:triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: run away from him!

I wouldn’t marry him. Your both on different levels in life.

Girl you better sprint.

A month…um no…he wants u to take care of him and him be a leech

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I’d run as fast as I could. That’s so many red flags in one post

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He is already your boyfriend after a month

RUN as fast as you can. Drop him. It will only get worse.

Sounds like you’re not compatible at all. Thank you, next :sunglasses:

I wouldn’t even date this dude !

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Sounds like the next season on 90 day fiance

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After one month??? RUN!!!

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I don’t think he’s all there… he sounds scary actually. It’s almost stalker behavior actually

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Girl no. That’s is way too fast. Take your time. I would run if he is like that.

Run. Do. Not. Look. Back.

One month in…nothing lost. Run!

I was single for a long time and met my now husband online. After one date I was head over heels - still am. If he had asked me a month in to marry him, I would have said yes (he asked after 4 months :rofl:). But never did I feel pressured.
To me it doesn’t sound like this dude is on the same page & probably feels his clock ticking for babies, etc.
You do you. If your gut is saying hell no, then I’d be cutting ties with this dude ASAP. Mutual respect is #1.

:running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman:

This is a group for parents not dating :roll_eyes: if u have no kids why r u in this group :thinking:

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You already know the answer. This sounds ridiculous. I’m not calling you ridiculous, but the situation is.
Ofcourse your not packing up your life after only a month and moving to get married to someone you see sometimes lmao

You don’t even know someone’s true self in a month let alone a year. Say no stand your ground or leave him. Sounds like a trap.

Run, don’t walk away from this man!

Living with the parents wouldn’t be a huge deal depending on the situation but the fact he is late 30s and doesn’t even have a car and is tight on money despite living with his parents, having no car and no kids… like what is he spending his money on? And trying to rush into marriage and kids after only a month and getting an attitude with you when you resist?! Major red flags there hun, RUN

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Let’s see you have a job, a home,car and are independent. Him job not so much,lives with parents, wants marriage and baby!!! He’s looking for someone to take care of him !!! Cut off all communication!!!

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You don’t even know this guy.

You say you’re in your 30s but honey… you’re acting like you’re 12. Please don’t be naive and put yourself through any of that. Like dude is absolutely psycho. You live in different states, right? Block him so he can’t find you ever again and forget about dude forever. Like OF COURSE you shouldn’t marry him.

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I wouldn’t reading this, so sorry, but I’ve been a victim of domestic abuse… wouldn’t do it if was u could turn really nasty xx

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:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: runnnnnnnn fast as u can

Honey there is red flags there so dont ignore them.

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Bye Felicia. Creepy over load. I definitely would not marry after 1 month. That’s a big NO for me.

Girl run quickly! He wants a way out of his parents house!

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Tell him good bye. He’s trying to tie you to him. Please don’t go there.

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Seriously run don’t walk. You been together a month. You need a man not a man-child which is what you are dating.

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Run and don’t look back.

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A month is way too fast to know if you want to marry someone. Just tell him you like him a lot but need to move at your own pace and if he doesn’t understand that then you’re not for him.

It sounds like you don’t really like the guy to be honest. If you have all these issue one month into the relationship it’s probably not gonna get better. You also sound like you want to focus on yourself which is fine but he doesn’t seem like the type of guy to let you do your own thing and just go along for the ride

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Don’t understand why people have put laughing faces either??? Not a laughing matter in my eyes, this lady is asking advice…

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Is this even a real post :rofl::joy: I didn’t even bother readying it all…

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:running_woman: run girl he sounds selfish.

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You already know the answer

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Ya I would not be doing staying, run

Or asking for help out cos I would xx

Kick him to the curb because he wants everything you have.

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Bro I didn’t even have to read past him wanting you to drop everything and come marry him just to give him kids.
Ma’am, that man has known you for a single month.
He’s an entire walking red flag.
An entire dumpster fire.
He wants you to drop everything ie. Isolating yourself in a strange area with no job or place to come back to, marry him, and give him kids.
HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT HE LITERALLY VIEWS YOU AS JUST A BABY MAKER?

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The fact that he is pressuring you to do something so soon that you’re not comfortable with is a huge red flag

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He’s already not respecting your boundaries. It’ll only get worse. There’s something desperately wrong with someone who wants to rush into something.

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As something who has been pressured for marriage in every relationship I’ve been in, this is love bombing. He either thinks women want to be married so badly you would jump at the opportunity, you fit some ideal in his head for what he desires (he can’t possibly know you well enough for this decision) or he hopes to reel you in with smoke and mirrors before you see a clear picture - or all three. None of them are good options. He also seems like the type to say you “led him on.”

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Omg….it’s like your actually entertaining the thought of this being even a potential. :crazy_face:

Run do not look back

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You got your answer when you said you started dating a month ago. Yikes.

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Is he trying to manipulate you? Yes. After only a month? Yes. Run. Really, just run.

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He’s shown you exactly who he is. He’s a pile of red flags sewn into the shape of a person. He’s looking for someone to take care of him and anchor them to him via marriage and having a child. Sorry, but you should have some kind of a job in your 30’s and be able to show some sort of stability and especially before wanting marriage and kids. I mean he’s got no job, lives at home with his parents, no car… I’m sorry, but exactly what even makes him dating material, much less marriage material? He doesn’t even have his own car! You better run before you end up having to support a whole grown azz person who refuses to adult and will try to get you pregnant and then likely take that child and use you to support his laziness. Using anger is a form of manipulation and it’s abusive. Run!

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Hunny run. Run as fast as you can.

Only a month into this relationship and he’s like that already? Girl you better run far away from this man seriously cause this man isn’t good news whatsoever.

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You’ve been together a month and have seen each other twice? That’s way too soon IMO. If he’s the right one he will wait for you.

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I was literally shaking my head reading this. It has “Nope” written all over it.

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If u want to pm me hun please feel free to pm me xxx

If your starting a business- in a completely different town then he lives and the plan is for you to move to his town- how easy will it be to move once your business is up and running? Perhaps if you see a future you should discuss where that future begins- ?

Block him. On everything. :flushed:

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RUN!!! AND DON’T LOOK BACK!!! I’ve been in abusive relationships and your entire post screams RED FLAGS :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING FOR YOUR OWN LIFE… start your business… be financially stable and definitely don’t fall for anybody living in their parents house working for their parents with no vehicle in their late 30’s :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: TRUST YOUR GUT!!! And why are you in Mamas Uncut if you’re not a mama?? Just curious

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Doesn’t sound like your the right fit for each other. Things shouldn’t be complicated. Leave. :slightly_smiling_face:

All huge red flags, break up with him, he is so NOT worth it!

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An old man told me one time, “When in doubt, stay out.”

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ONE MONTH?!?!
You’re crazy for even entertaining him. Literally

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He’s a manipulative psycho, wonder why he’s divorced? Like you’ve been dating a month that’s waaaaay to fast to be talking about marriage and he already doesn’t give a damn about what you want in life. I’d say bye to him super quick

I’d fucking run ill tell ya that much xxx

Way too soon for the m word, especially if you’re not feeling it. He is still parent dependent from what you say. Who does his laundry, buys house groceries, or pays bills. You don’t want to marry, live with his folks become the maid, and whatever else becomes needed. Many people who do this arrangement, end up with feeling used by one party or the other.
Yes, I know I’m critical and skeptical but big happy families are usually just a fantasy.

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I didn’t hear anything after I read “a month”.

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Yeah, I stopped reading after I saw y’all have only dated for a month. I don’t need to read anymore. :woman_shrugging:t4: Y’all have only known each other for a month. RUN :running_woman:t4:

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Girl c’mon now
If a man who can not take care of himself can not take care of a woman. Nevermind a child. Stay smart.

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Girl…. Ghost him. Now.
:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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I’m sorry but guys like this are a dime a dozen hun.
Hold out for the Mr. Right !!
It doesn’t sound like this is the ONE you are compatible with …
Keep searching follow YOUR dreams not his :thinking::wink:

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:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:Need more??

All this after a month… this is the reddest flag I have ever seen.

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He just wants to bang :woman_shrugging::sweat_smile:

Run :running_woman: and run away fast!!!

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Lives with his parents, no car, right on money and divorced…. Girl run

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Sounds to me he wants you do he can leave his parents and you put up the tab. Don’t change your lifestyle, he should.

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You’re not considering this guy are you? He will try to control you and make your life even more miserable than hes doing now. Drop him right now!!!

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Definitely way too soon to be pushing you for ANY of that. Especially knowing that it would cost you your dreams and everything you’ve been working on. I hate to say it but he definitely seems manipulative and like he doesn’t actually give a rats ass about what you want. If he’s like this a month in it’s only gunna get worse from there.

:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman:

He’s putting the pressure on a bit too soon. He sounds needy. R U N!

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