Depending on where you live, common law marriage is probably already in affect. Not to mention child support he would be paying if you aren’t married anyways. Honestly, I’d get out. He doesn’t sound worth it to me.
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If he doesn’t want you to have those things there is a reason for it. Also, to me this means that he doesn’t see this panning out in the future. If he planned to be with you forever once y’all got married (which I’m assuming you do) then it wouldn’t even be an issue.
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Sounds like his only worry is money. I wouldn’t marry that
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Half “his” house? Half “his” paycheck? Run, girl, run
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I dunno is he taking this the wrong way… what did u do to ur last ex when u divorced did u clear him out too maybe thats why he’s worried and I would be too
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Maybe get a job and start helping contribute financially even if it’s just a couple days a week. maybe he doesn’t want it to be a permanent thing taking care of you. I was a stay at home mom when my boys were little but as soon as they were able to go to preschool I got a job. It’s nice to have your independence in case things don’t work out just saying
If he says things like that about his house and his paycheck and your a stay at home mom then you need to start planning and saving cause there is no US in his mind.
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Just do a prenup and problem solved if u love him show him your not in gor the money or he’s house but make sure alimony and child support is on the table I mean u have to end up with something too since your a stay at home mom
Guess he doesn’t want to have sex either…
Girl I’m sorry but I don’t think he sees you as wifey material and if you’re not willing to drop the whole marriage idea you guys will constantly argue
You’ve WASTED enough of your PRECIOUS TIME . Why settle there is someone out there for you who wants the same as you.
And it could also be the fact that you have two kids from a different marriage, sounds messed up but it’s true in most cases bio dad wants to make sure to leave inheritance just to bio child not step children and in marrying you he would be sharing the inheritance instead of it going straight to said bio child
I think if you two are happy in every way -as is … Then leave it the way it is.
That is more important than a piece of paper. Believe it or not people can live happily ever after for all the rest of their days without a marriage certificate.
I would think you also knew when you got together his feelings on marriage?!
In Canada being common law basically has the same repercussions as being married not sure where you live
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So many people are saying leave… however I am this person in my relationship. I don’t want to get married… my fiancé does. We tell everyone we’re married, we live like we are, we have joint bank accounts etc. the only thing is technically we are not and we do not share last names. I don’t under What the big issue is… I mean you would be willing to leave someone who loves you and who you love over something so superficial as a piece of paper? That’s odd to me. Why is it that he has to meet you half way and you can’t meet him. I hate the idea of marriage, I truly do. Everything from the actual day… the thought that everyone would be staring at me and the money it would cost… and just everything. I hate the idea of marriage and I always have.
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Prenup, problem solved. 
Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper. If something were to happen where one of you is in the hospital and unable to make life saving decisions the other has NO LEGAL RIGHT to make those decisions for one another. Common law ISNT the same thing and unrecognized in some states.
Outline his concerns on the prenuptial agreement and that should fix his concerns about finances and assets.
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After 3 years your pretty much married. If he doesn’t want to get married that fine and he has that right
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let the guy go you have the right to this baby you share with him he doesnt want to share bills and his shit the get out and make him pay for this baby if you do it right you can have almost all his money do it right
If either of the person is not willing to commit that means they’re open to see if something better comes along that way they can just say goodbye to you and MoveOn if they will not commit that means that they are still looking for something better and I don’t care what your women say that’s just the way it is coming from a man
So he is practically planning that you’ll get divorced and up with his house and half his paycheck? It doesn’t sound like he is confident you’d stay together than, and he sounds more concerned about money and sharing money and debts.He wants yours to be yours and his to be his. Spoiling with necessities is not spoiling.Those are necessities
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in other words it’s cheaper to keep her till someone else comes along
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He does know you can already leave and take a chunk of his precious money via child support, right? You have zero protections without marriage. You do you, but I’d make him get married or go- especially since y’all have a kid together.
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Little does he know ypu could end up with half his paycheck anyway. You can’t be spoiled because he buys you necessities! Necessities are things you need and should have access to no matter what. If marriage is that important to you find someone else.
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"Spoils me with necessities " 
As long as you love each other and get along what’s wrong with living together good luck
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You have to decide if you can live without getting married and just being together. I mean it sounds like y’all are "married " already just without the paper.
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If he owns the house now, I don’t think you’d get half of it. Anyway, leave him now and see how much he gets to pay in child support. And for God’s sake, DON’T get pregnant again.
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I’d walk away. Maybe some space will help him figure out what he values most.
I don’t see how a piece of paper (not a cheap one to get either) makes any difference in your relationship… I’ve seen more happiness in common law partners than in married people. No piece of paper is ever that important. Just saying 
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Sounds like you have the marriage life already, don’t get caught up over a title. And definitely DO NOT LEAVE A GOOD MAN over a paper
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Omg woman he does not want you to get half his paycheck or his house walk away now.
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I think it’s best to live together without that huge piece of paper.I really do
He may just not be ready for it, if it’s something he’s struggled with. If y’all are committed to each other, and everything else is good, why push the issue? My best friend and her husband have been together for 11 years, but only got married a year ago. Everyone’s timing is different. If your so anxious for getting married that it’s clouding your actual happiness within your relationship it sounds more like you’re ready for a wedding, not a marriage. Different people require different levels of patience. If you don’t want to stay together because of it by all means, leave; but it sounds like you have it really good if there’s no other issues like you claim.
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You could do a prenup which would address most of his concerns.
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As a sahm after 4 years it’s the same as marriage. You own half
Of what he has and because you stay home he will have to hand over money if he leaves or
You break up. This sounds like a power trip he doesn’t understand. Also if your claiming single and living together your both screwed.
Other than the paperwork that says your married you are. lol.
Don’t pay to have that piece of paper that said y’all are married.
Do a Commitment/wedding ceremony without the paperwork.
That way if y’all ever part ways you don’t have to have things tied up in a divorce.
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Get out sounds like he doesn’t want a future with you. Take your half of your money and run.
Marriage would have come first just saying
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You can have a wedding, wear, rings, and change your status on Facebook without actually applying for a marriage certificate. If he’s still against it he is lying about the reason why he’s against the idea.
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Then he isn’t the one you’re suppose to be speaking about marriage if the talk of marriage gets into an argument. Thinking you’ll get half of what he has is really absurd! Geez
Why does a piece of paper matter so much to women? So they can take half of his and steal his children away when they don’t get their way.
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Being married just changes it on paper. You can’t force someone to marry you. Should you two ever divorce, it’s alot harder than just breaking up. I will not get married again just because divorce was such a nightmare and I haven’t met anyone who makes me think I’d actually spend my life with them.
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Honey Boyfriends Don’t get Husband privileges PERIOD! He is already getting ALL the benefits of Marriage including children without the commitment of Marriage. WHY would he Marry you? He has shown you YOUR worth to him, You can provide ALL the Marital support BUT You are entitled to NOTHING should he decide to take his ball and bat to start a New game. STOP BEHAVING LIKE A WUFE TO A MAN THATS NOT YOUR HUSBAND!
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It honestly depends how important to you but I’d consider what about it matters so much and why. It sounds like you’re already living a married life and I understand wanting the title but is the title worth throwing the whole dynamic away?
Only you can really say.
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If it is that important to you then he isn’t the one. If marriage isn’t something you can do without you need to find someone who is like minded.
You have a child with him already … so everything is already half yours ( at least in Canada as soon as you have a child your automatically common law )
If he treats u well then think about exactly marriage is to u… it seems like it’s just one area ur at odds about… he at least went from not at all to open minded…. I think it’s up to u at this point to decide if not getting married is ur deal breaker
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That’s not healthy that’s Ex-able!!! If he can’t get over that you need to move on.
Well in Australia, and l am not sure where u are from he needs to be a little more educated… You are the mother of his child, you live together anyway so here it also goes in the eyes of the law that u are married anyway, if you earn less at time of a break up you would also be awarded more of the assests including the house especially as there is a child concerned… So he is being a little silly…l should imagine it is similar in most western countries. I would educate him on that and u have also been open about your views on marriage… I also had that view from my fiance… He was adamant about it also from the time met, l always told him in my eyes l found it offensive and hurtful. After sometime we had a very open discussion and l gave him a timeline of years… If we had been together 7 years( we are not young) and at the end of that time he was still opposed to not being married, and l still wanted that commitment l would leave…that would be it, and yes l meant that and my partner knew that… It was not mentioned often, 3 years in l turned around whislt cooking tea and there was a ring and my man on a bended knee. Now that l know he really would if l really needed it emotionally (l grew up in a very traditional family), lm not really worried about the 7 year thing. I am ok with it… He often laughs now and still yes lve got 3 yrs etc etc… Im not sure a time frame would work for everyone but it did for me, but l would of walked away after that timeframe if l was still with a man who was unable to compromise about something so.important to me. Also maybe reassure him that its not about a big flash wedding and spending lots of money, or is it? Goodluck for you, all the best.
Offer a prenup. If you’re not worried about the relationship, it won’t ever be an issue.
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Take care of your debts between you both before jumping into a marriage.
From someone that dealt with the same liess…Unless your gonna continue to be happy as it is stay if not cut your losses and move on…He has no intentions of getting married…So sad how some people lead others on and play with their emotions…
Married or not, after a 2 year defacto relationship means the same as being married in terms of entitlements after split .
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marriage isnt everything. if something happened to him your kids would get all of his stuff anyways so youd still be able to take care of them and have a home. you can still own things together and be on each others life insurance policy and all the things…you can even have a wedding without a legal marriage if that makes you feel better. if there is no lack of love and he treats you and the kids amazing then dont let a piece of paper ruin your relationship and end up with some jerk later on. hell, you can even change your NAME to his and not be legally married. its all negotiable. if hes terrified that if yall were to break up and you would take everything hes worked for then offer a prenup and see what he says…
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Sign a prenuptial agreement.
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If he truly loves you he would want to make sure that you and his child will be taken care of if something should happen to him. Sounds like he wants all the benefits but, wants to deny you of benefits that as a wife you would be entitled to
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Have you told him all of this? You could do a pre-nuptial agreement regarding his wishes. After 4yrs. I would insist or leave.
I’ve been with my man for over 12 years now, not married, because I’M the one not interested in getting married. Frankly, nothing bad has ever happened to us as a result of us not being married.
Our relationship is healthier, stronger, and has lasted longer than pretty much every couple we know, married or not. Marriage isn’t a requirement to life or to being happy. You can be in love and committed to each other, and learn and grow together throughout the course of life, without being married. It doesn’t HAVE to happen.
If you’re saying your relationship is happy and healthy, why do you feel that getting married is something you guys need to do? What difference will it actually make in your lives and your relationship of you get married? What, specifically, are you seeking with marriage?
You should consider if you’re wanting to get married because you just want a wedding, or because you just think it’s what you’re “supposed to do”, or some other irrelevant reason like that? Why do you feel it needs to happen? Love doesn’t require marriage. Commitment doesn’t require marriage. Bonding doesn’t require marriage. Happiness doesn’t require marriage.
What is it you think you’re missing out on, that you think getting married will give you? 
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I manage a financial & life insurance company. If he passed away without your marriage it would be a mess for many reasons. Your kids are under 18 and the next of kin. You won’t be able to make medical decisions for him and neither will his minor children. You’ll be in probate court for years over any assets. It’s important for security.
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What about a pre-nup??
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Depending on the state your in you may already be technically common law and can file divorce if there was ever an immediate separation. But maybe discuss I think it’s called a prenup agreement on how things would be divided if there would be a separation if that would put him at ease to help when you discuss the topic of marriage.
That piece of paper is the thing that makes you both commuted to the marriage fully.its not just a paper it’s you both signing and agreeing to love each other trust,work harder,not stray.i find with out that paper it is to easy to walk away.ive been married for over 30 years.happly.sad mad hate love ,get away,come here,you name it I feel that paper makes you both try harder .because when you commit and there are times when you think it’s better or easier you have to truly think harder.do I want that person ,why did I married this person can I be good with out this person in my life? I just think it is a good thing.
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I think you need to figure out what’s more important to you. Getting married, or being in a relationship with him. No matter how much you want him to want what you want, it probably won’t happen. And if he finally gives in, is that how you want to be married?
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So there’s two options where you can both get what you want.
Have a wedding and sign the prenuptial agreement so he won’t have to worry about that and you can still be married and keep finances completely separate
- If you want a wedding just for the wedding experience (which I totallly get) but maybe have a wedding but without all the legal stuff so even if your not legally married you can still consider yourselves married in a way. It sounds weird but I know a couple who did this and it made them both happy
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And 90% of woman say that don’t care if thay have that are not truful.i believe.who dose not want a dress,flowers,family,ring,dancing, laughing,hugging,love,all in one room with that person you love.just saying
So your willing to leave and take your child from
It’s father just cause he won’t marry you
Why would he not want you to be taken care of in the event of his death or disability? That is also a consideration that he needs to look at. Seriously a pre-nip could fix the rest. Besides, you already have his child, you gave him “parenthood” and your body grew his child. You could already go after his assets via child support so he needs to cut it out and “man up”. He shouldn’t have been lying with you and getting pregnant if he didn’t want a family. Tell him to stop planning your break up and instead focus on start planning a healthy marriage
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Call bs you’ll get 60% plus if you’re married or not married if you obtain it together and be equally responsible for the debt defacto is same rights as wife just cheaper as you don’t need divorce.
I’m 100% not ever getting married. Debt is one reason but there are so many more. If thats his decision you have to respect it or leave. Tryong to change him won’t work.
far more concerning than wanting or not wanting an official marriage is the fact that you have a child together and he is concerned about you getting “his” house or half his paycheck. You have a child together! You should be sharing everything whether or not you are married! Get out of this relationship with a man who does not care about you or your child!
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What about a commitment ceremony?
That way you can still have your dream wedding but without the piece of paper 
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What about a prenuptial whatever he had prior to you is his, and you own bills is your own but whatever yous had since being together should be halfed and here in Australia usually is weather your married or not.
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When going into a relationship, a big thing is common interests. You sit down and talk about what you want from a relationship. Your goals and such. And what you are willing to be open minded about. If marriage is a deal breaker for you, then you need to let him know. If he is unwilling, you need to figure out if you want to lose him and find someone who has the same wants as you or if you are willing to be flexible on the matter. This is all in your hands. You may need some guidance to help you figure it out. But ultimately, you know what you want. You just need to go for it. And screw what anyone else thinks.
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I have been with my partner for over 6 years now. He keeps saying yeah we’ll get married and that he wants to marry me… at the end of the day, I don’t want too anymore and knows this. We don’t need a “piece of paper” to be happy.
Get one of those prenups done if he’s so worried. Come to an agreement
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If she’s good enough to sleep with and have his baby. She’s definitely good enough to marry
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Him not wanting to be married isn’t the real issue here… A lot of people don’t …myself included -
But wow " I don’t want you to end up with my house or half my paycheck"
Living together anyway means he is paying for pretty much half of everything anyway and he certainly should be. And the longer you live together the more you are entitled too if you break up or something happens to him. He also has a kid with you and should be making sure you and your kid will be taken care of if something did happen… what a tool…
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If Your married or not you’ll get 1/2. What a douche worried about you getting looked
After if you split
It is only a piece of paper wouldn’t get in a flap about it
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Well, if you live with him, depending on the state you’re in, there’s common law marriage, so his concerns wouldn’t matter in terms of half the house type of thing. You also don’t need to be married for child support either, so his argument isn’t exactly a valid one.
Now my husband and I only have a few of our financials tied together, but many of them we never did had a joint financial situation. So marriage does not automatically mean everything is a joint account.
Marriage is seriously over rated… I can see how important it is to you. Can you change your mindset by researching success in non married long term couples? Sounds like a he’s been burned, but is a good guy. Good guys are in short supply.
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FYI after 7 yrs u r common law and could receive half of everything he owns. Relax…marriage is a frame of mind not a piece of paper
I’d be ending things & taking my kids & leaving! Wow he doesn’t want you to have half his house or payslip. Don’t need a marriage certificate to get half. What a horrible man!
Ok so who does he want to end up with his house then. You have a child together . I agree with a pre nupt. Tell him if that makes him happier you can work on that . Your child together has to be covered .
Why would you leave a man who works for you.
Spoils you. Treats you right just over a piece of paper.
My best friends going through this right now, he does not want to marry again and she is trying to force him so it’s on and off again like hot cakes.
You live with him you share your life and everything.
I mean if all that’s missing is a piece of paper that’s sad.
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Do you think he loves you? Why would he not want you to have the house if something happened to him? There is something wrong with this picture…could he be seeing your relationship as temporary and you are seeing it in a different light?
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When I see stuff like this I always think of John Cena and Nikki Bella and we see how that worked out ijs 
If he wanted to he would
I’ll say, if you ever break up, and ask for child support, he’ll claim it’s not his kid. If he dies while your child is under 18, you’ll have a hard time getting any benefits, even if his name is on the birth certificate. It’s much easier to hide assets when unmarried too. You could be together for years, and still have a difficult time financially when either of you die. I’ve also known couples who were together for years, got married and split up within a few years. Either way, there’s no guarantee on any marriage, or relationship lasting
If you want a ceremony and a piece of paper just to celebrate your love and commitment to each other, you guys can do that without turning it into the authorities then you’re married on paper but not by law
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Offer a pre-nup. If he still doesn’t want to get married, then either accept that or walk away.
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sign a pre-nup, problem solved.
Kick that DIRTBAG out!!!
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Move on. He feels how he feels.
Ew. No. What he means is that your not worth the risk of marrying…but you can take the risk of being a single mother. When people show you who they are? Believe them.
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Calling it just a “piece of paper” is bullshit. It’s so much more than that. It’s a commitment that says when things get tough, you can’t just walk away. You work it out. I suppose you can still walk away if you wanted to but that’s not the point. Its a promise, and it stands for something.
I feel you, girl. Took my husband seven years to finally pop the question. He also treated me really well, but marriage just wasn’t on his radar. I won’t lie, it hurt… A lot! It felt like he was keeping his options open. Like I wasn’t enough.
I can’t say as I agree with your boyfriends reasons… If he loved you, and knows how important this is to you, your debt and the house wouldn’t matter. You have a child together so if he has any decency, the house should be yours and your child’s anyway.
A prenup fixes his “concerns”
Maybe he’s already married
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Not everyone wants marriage. Yall can just say your married without the paper.
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If marriage is your goal it ain’t gonna work could be the fact you have been married previously and now here you are
Its a piece of expensive paper to say you love each other. X
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Pre nup is a good compromise
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