Go play the lotto. If you win don’t share with him cause you are not married. No more getting the piece of the pie for free. Do you love him enough to disregard your dreams?
If the woman or man in a relationship is not receiving what makes them happy in life from their partner, then they need to come to the realization that they don’t have a partner at all. If one’s partner truly loves them, they want to make them happy in every way period. That is what love is. A lot of people are alone but think they have a life partner. In actuality, if your “partner” only thinks about themselves and their needs, there should be no reason why they are not with themselves. This way they can “love” who truly matters to them, themselves. I would suggest being with someone who cares about all of your needs and I would also suggest that your core values are the same so you both want and need the same things in life. This way both parties are happy in love😘
Prenup is what he want.
Just get a prenup. That way if it doesn’t work out no one looses anything that’s what I know alot of couples do. It’s safer and smarter for everyone
Sign a prenup, that he won’t lose his possessions
Marriage isn’t for everyone, but giving up your goal of being a wife may not make you happy in the end.
If you’re happy why change it marriage is created to tax and make money of it.
I’m not sure where you are, but here the fact that you have a child together basically solidifies the fact that you get to claim some stuff of his if you were to break up.
My partner was very similar, until I pointed out that if he honestly thought I was only with him for his “stuff” then he could keep the lot and I’d walk away with what was mine.
We were together for 7-8 years before getting engaged, and now 2.5 years engaged and we actually had to put the wedding off because I was pregnant, then covid…
We still have our own bank accounts, our own cars etc, but that’s my choice (been divorced before and he took everything except the bills, and I refuse to be put in that position again).
Marriage means very little here in terms of what you can claim after a relationship breaks down… after 6 months it’s deemed “joint” owned by the government anyway, sure it makes it a little harder, but not by much 
I hope you sort it out though 
prenuptual agreement perhaps? All marriage is is a piece of paper. As a friend of mine often says, “I’ve never seen a ring plug a hole”.
The writing is plainly written on the wall. You are with a man who does not want to marry. You want to marry.
So now what???
If it’s the marriage only then why not sign a prenup?
So you need to be valued as a wife
Dump him!!
Suppose it boils down to what’s more important to you…. Being married or him ?!
Why the hell would you even want to marry him anyway?
In these comments, I often never see how marriage helps kids feel secure in their caregivers relationship, esp where stepchildren are involved.
If your endgame isn’t the same , why waste time?
He sounds selfish
My husband and i were together for 7 years before i proposed to him. And 13 years before we got married i just had to be patient and do it in his time. Just like when we had kids we were together 8 years when we had our first but his been the best dad.
Marriage doesn’t matter. Love does. I’ll be engaged till I’m 90 as long as I’m loved and appreciated 
Marriage doesnt mean much these days anyway 
maybe just be glad you found a good one that treats you right and loves you and your kids!
Marriage is only a piece of paper you are married with living together and having a child together
I wish you the best. Start praying about things and go from there.
go find someone who will marry you because you deserve happiness and love
I was always dead set again marriage until I got with my current partner, now my Pinterest is full of wedding ideas and I want nothing more than to be his wife! I just wasn’t with the right guy before. Sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear but he sounds exactly like how I use to be.
4 years is along time ,but if he is good to you stay.You never know who you may get next,this world i full of creeps
Get the he’ll outta there! What are you waiting for? He’s not gonna marry you
Why do you need the piece of paper? My partner and I have been together for 13yrs, 2 kids house(his) joint bank accounts, basically married with out the little piece of paper that states it Id love to get married, but for what? Nothing would be any different, we’d just be wasting $20k on a party?
I don’t know what state you live in but here in South Australia married or living together you are intitled to half of everything.
Why are you with a selfish person? It will only get worse once you marry.
I can understand to an extent but geeze. It sounds like he doesn’t trust you or somthing if he feels that way. If he was “open minded” he would consider it. I mean you can always hold a ceremony rather than “legally” be married. But do you reaaaaaaaaly want to be with someone who thinks that way?
Leave! Follow your heart, life is too short to waste on people who don’t share the same vision!
Doesn’t sound very healthy. He definitely has commitment issues.
You got two already, an gave him one before the ring??? Yeahhhhhhh not happening
Prenup. I wouldn’t want to marry him.
That’s not a healthy relationship. Personally, I would consider ending it. Too many red flags.
Ah yes, things are going so well between us, we should get the government involved…
Marriage is a commitment and with out it you are just playing house and sleeping in sin.
You don’t have to be married to be with someone for the rest of your life.
What does his parent’s situation look like. It could stem from that?
So him treating you right isn’t enough ?
Where can u go with 3. Children. Stay and be happy haunt him and you will
Lose him
I read it on line… if you have to fight for love it’s all over any way…
Be honest, if he loves you, you will get married. If not, do what makes you happy.
Why does a piece of paper have to get in between people ? If it’s working good, leave it alone.
Save up to his level of savings then ask again he’s not trying to lose his for a PC of paper
My opinion you may not like…Sounds like he is more of a ‘boyfriend’ than a quote ‘man friend’…If nothing would change but you would just be married…with life going on as it is…THEN I do not understand his 'hang-up.??? Good Luck…
What’s more important, being married or having a partner/man who treats you well???
Think about it. How strong are you???
Well, my fiance and I are not married. I rarely bring it up because Im not sure I want to be officially married. We have a baby together and are pretty happy…but there are times where our relationship is so volatile that I want to leave. So…I like leaving the door open, so to speak.
My question is why are you so fixated on this? Is it for security? Ceremony? I just hit my 4yr anniversary yesterday and while we want to one day get married we couldn’t care less if it’s now or ten years from now. Your with the person you love what difference does a title make?
You are common law married in Colorado
Pray to God, he will help you.
When you’ve been living together for 6 months (could even be 3 mths now) a split is pretty much the same as when married anyway, so what’s the difference. You can still get 1/2 the house and child support payments. 
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It’s not always about you. Just cause you want something doesn’t mean someone else does. If it works out how it is then stay how you are.
Forget marriage. It’s only a document that costs money to obtain and heaps to dispose off
Marriage is a fancy bit of expensive paper from the government.
Compromise. Have a ceremony the wedding you want, and get pictures to hang around your house. Dont go to the courthouse and sign a certificate.
Have you heard of a prenup? Bottom line does a piece of paper make or break your HAPPY RELATIONSHIP
I have been with my husband for 32 years and we both just got married 5 years ago he wanted to wait to but we got 5 kids to gather and he got one with someone else but I love her just like my own just be patient he will come around if he really loves you
A piece of paper doesn’t make a marriage. You already sound “married”. Be happy and enjoy your life.
After 4yrs I don’t think it will ever happen for you . Give him a time limit . I did my husband. I said after 2 yrs we should know if it will work . He purposed after 18 mo but I was serious about leaving after2 if we were not married. I’M sure it would be hard to leave but leave if you must if you don’t get what you want . After all to each your own
If you live with him longer than a year in Canada you still get half
He has a roommate that comes with sexual benefits and live in maid.
My dear: Please hear me. I am 70 years old and all alone, except for my adult children who are married and have children. They have their own lives to live and really don’t have too much time to spend with me. I was divorced and my x who we got along with past away. I was involved with a man who I loved very much and I thought he loved me. We were together for 14 years and he moved back with his family due to money problems. He was in his 50’s. Yes that’s right. In his 50’s. I was in my 40’s. However, he took care of his elderly parents, his job was located out in Nassau County. I lived in Suffolk County. He would come out to spend the weekend with me but I wasn’t comfortable with that arrangement. His father then past away and his mom became very dependent on him as she didn’t drive. So him coming over on the weekends became more difficult. We were together for 14 years on and off. We financially got ourselves in a better situation , became independent and helped each other when needed. I always thought one day we would get married and when I brought the subject out his reaction was a real shock to him. And had no idea that, that would ever take place. I realized too late that was a big mistake. Even though we only saw each other on weekends, I hoped things would improve with our relationship, it became harder because of the word MARRIAGE, I should have not said. I had a hard time dealing with only seeing him on weekends and he didn’t give in for anything. So I became resentful. To the point of telling him maybe we should just end the relationship. Well he left. So then I tried to get in touch with him many times after that without any acknowledgment from him, finally after 4 months he came to get his belongings. As I tried to talk with him about our situations, his reply was it’s too late. I was in shock that after 14 years it was over just like that. So my dear, if you have his love, a child with him, a house. Finances are good, I suggest to just get engaged and an agreement, and live with each other till then. Don’t make the mistake I made. Good Luck to you both
How is this “healthy”? A man that won’t commit and shows indifference to your wants with gifts is perhaps a man to accept AS IS or find another.
If that’s the real reason, go for prenup
If indeed your relationship is healthy why marry?
If his name is Chandler Bing he’s just saying it to throw her off.
Tell him you’d agree to a prenup
He’s just just not that into you
Marriage isnt for everyone.
The red flag for me is the language used. You’re a stay at home mum forgoing your own career, financial stability, etc and he’s worried about you ending up with “half his pay check and half of his house”. He doesn’t see it as a partnership.
If you two don’t work out, you’ve spent years with no income raising a child and he expects you and a child to walk away empty handed and leave him with everything. That’s not how a partnership works. You made a sacrifice, and he’s not willing to.
I truly hope things work out for you. He seems to be a very selfish individual.
Men will do what you allow them to do.
Marriage is a piece of paper .
Maybe he’s already married?
Leave, lufe is too short to spend it hoping that a selfish person will do the right thing.
Why do you actually want to get married? I know so many who have been happy living together with a child and not marry…
Shorty you got 3 kids already if he don’t marry you know one will so just chill and be happy, enjoy life. Marriage ain’t nuttn but a piece of paper.
Out the many places to seek advice, Facebook isn’t one.
If you live together you get half anyway so what’s his problem?
When I married my wife of 26 years she had nothing but debt, no job, no direction. I had a high paying career and assets. I would live in a cardboard box before I would make our children and her suffer a day without. If she leaves me I will not take any material things with me. That’s how unconditional love works for me. He should be holding you up to the highest standards not holding you back
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Good thing you had a child with him
MENTION A PRENUP ! That way you both are happy!!
You have been together that long married or not you still get 1/2 of everything . You will just have to decide if you are willing to settle with the way it is
Why is a piece of paper so important to you?
Little does he know if your living together you already own half of his stuff what is his is now yours and what is your is also his Good Luck
I was with my now husband for 10 years living together since 3 months of knowing each other. I mentioned near our “anniversary” it would be 10 years=10 diamonds and next year would be 11…he said, “why don’t you look at rings?” We were engaged in Dec and married the next fall. He was previously married out of high school so it took time for him to be ready. I wanted to make sure as well. Talk to him and find out his reasons…there are prenuptial if he’s saying it’s “half the house”. Communication is key. State things like “I feel…”, not “You always…” so there is no accusatory attacking tone but so you get your feelings across and get to the heart if the matter.
don’t waste another 4 yrs, say goodbye
A prenuptial agreement can settle many of these issues.
not the one you want to marry
To late to run as fast as you can!!!
But you can still leave
WHY do you need to be married if your happy ???damn…its a piece of paper…
Omg u guys r crazy marriage is a piece of paper…thats it…if u guys love each other and r happy… Then have u a lil off the books so to say wedding…
If you don’t want to leave then you have accepted it I’m afraid
You don’t have to have a piece of paper to be happy
Why ruin a good thing?…
All marriage is, is a contract legally binding you together. It is literally just a piece of paper. If you two love each other, don’t let a stupid piece of paper come in the way of that love.
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Can’t he just get a prenup ?
After 4years it’s time to shit or get of the pot.
Know someone before making a life with them!
Red flags…
Also he can’t “spoil you with necessities” …
don’t be pushy & accept it.
it’s not Easties or Corrie where you make a drama out of everything.