My boyfriend slept with my friend, will I ever get over it?

Sisters before misters. Dump that man ASAP.

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That’s awful. If it’s still an issue a year later it will always be an issue. You need to decide if you can deal with for the rest of your life. If not move on.

You were on a break, :woman_shrugging:

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Dump him and don’t look back.

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Its done move on .you will never be ok with it and nor should you be.your self worth is more than that.

Once a cheater always s cheater

He gets mad about it because he doesn’t care love … please don’t let this continue to destroy you

All you need to do is get over HIM!! Throw the boy in the trash and start over with a man who will value you enough to atlesst be honest.

Time to leave and not look back.

No man is worth losing your peace over. We only have one life so don’t stress over anyone. Move on. It will never get better, just worse.

He ruined your relationship. And you won’t ever got over it because he lied about it and would have continued to lie had you not found out. And he isn’t sorry about it because if he was he would be reassuring you and allowing you to talk to him openly about it anytime rather than flipping out on you when he’s the one who did something really messed up. He doesn’t deserve you, you deserve better.

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She was never truly your best friend if she slept with him. Period. Sorry it was a double loss for you. Personally I would never really get over it. True colors. Harsh but true :woman_shrugging:t3:

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He sounds like real fucking piece of shit. You should flush that turd right away.

Nope! But good luck!

Nope. Move on…from both of em

I can feel the sorrows while reading your message… betrayal and loosing a friend😔 Forgive her as she has passed away. First, Love yourself. Forgive your bf, but move on as well. You’ll find someone again. Until then take your time to heal yourself, and love yourself.

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The hurt will never go away. It will always remain an issue. And if you marry him he’ll cheat on you. Cut ties now and begin the healing process.

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Save yourself and leave.

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Sorry for the loss of your friend… Were you able to forgive your departed friend? Do you miss her or feel guilty? You may be looking for some closure on your friendship…

Dont let this eat at you… there are other fish in the sea. If you cant get over him then move on and let it all rest

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Why the hell are you still with his sorry ass

Take another break and think it through. Maybe he will cheat again and not come back anyway :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Bye … to those 2 Trust me you’re never going to get over it before you lose your mind shame on her!!

It’s very unfortunate she passed and my condolences to her family… But … he still slept w her and lied about it. You definitely shouldn’t have taken him back so easily bc once he gets away w it once then there’s a chance it will happen again.

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You will never regain that trust. I’ve been in a similar situation and you will never look at him the same way again. Not to mention how shitty it makes you feel, you deserve happiness and you’ll never get it with him.

Time to go , he can’t take his bag , and you can’t forgive to stay in relationship, its done did move on

This must be a teenager who writes this shit ,I can’t imagine a grown woman putting this on social media

Get rid of both of them

Forgive yourself for taking him back. maybe get some counseling for yourself while you cut him off

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Theres only 1thing to do… the alternative is this, forever

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That’s not something that’s easily forgivable on either part. Why would you friend sleep with him? There’s a rule within friendship is there not? I’m sorry she passed away, that would of added to your feeling of betrayal aswell but I think it will always be in your mind nagging at you. And him well dam he should of been honest but they never see fault in themselves. Best of luck to you

You gotta literally tell him how you feel. You gotta tell him allllll of that. Make him understand damn well what the repercussions of that are, and that if he wants to be with you, he might have to deal with some shitty aftermath of his actions that has now affected his relationship.

Leave now. He’s a loser.

You need to leave him because you will never get over it. It’s going to eat you away if you stay.

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Sorry she passed away but sounds like 50% of the problem took care of itself. Now only to get rid of him.

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Trust me. Run. And don’t look back. He not only cheated, he lied and then has the audacity to insist you “get over it” and get angry at you for his betrayal. You deserve respect and honesty. Without trust you’ve got nothing. You will never “get over” it or be okay or feel secure, in that relationship.
I am also very sorry for the woman who passed away. That is tragic.

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He ruined it not you

In going to be the odd one.
Not only did ur bf cheat on u; which is INCREDIBLY difficult to overcome as a married couple than just bf/gf in itself…
Ur also grieving the loss of a best friend, a person u loved and than person u held a grudge against or hated after, a person u couldn’t trust and than a person u lost

To me ur first step is to forgive your passed friend not just say u do bc she is deceased but actually forgive her for giving up on ur friendship

Than If you REALLY want to try and forgive ur bf… U need separate counselling and than together counselling.

I mean you were 'broken up" and if this were a “Ross and Rachel” situation, we could easily say u weren’t together so “technically” he didn’t cheat.

Sorry ur going through this.

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It is a shame that your BFF passed. But I guarantee you would have cut ties with her like you were drowning and she was an anchor.
I’m not being cold, I’ve seen it dozens of times.
But, at this point, you have nobody to blame but him…and if his whole input to this is to ‘get over it’, I would lay $$ is down that he has since, or is currently cheating.
Let him go.

Get therapy (not for that pos, for yourself and your grief)

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Nope… its been a year ?
If you’re not over it by now, sorry dont think you can. I couldnt either, but I would’ve never gave him a chance after I found out :confused:

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It’s like this…you found out plenty early enough to get out of both their lives. If you stay its always going to eat at you . At least you found out early enough to make a choice, at least it wasn’t 20 yrs and the truth pops out and you feel like you’ve lived a lie and wasted your time in a relationship that was built on betrayal.

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Just walk away ur mental health far more valuable than a relationship

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How can you not know what to do, your feelings say it all!

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I’m sorry, but it’s already over.

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I am old. Life is too short to deal with that shit. Get on with your life. You really don’t need him even though you think you do. Walk away and don’t look back.

Weren’t they split up? Dude can do what he wants

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Nope. You are worth more than that. He’s using you for something. Get out and feel better about yourself. You don’t deserve that

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He loses his shit about it and your the one who got cheated on!!! What the actual f. You don’t need to get over it you need to get over his worthless ass. He’s a waist of your time. Like your Is literally wasting your time staring in that relationship. He didn’t care about you when he was all up in your friend so he’s absolute trash. If he’s OK with doing that to you then he’s probably been doing it since. Leave now for your own mental health because he is going to destroy you mentally

He slept with your BEST FRIEND AND THEN LIED TO YOU ABOUT IT!!! Clearly he has no boundaries and he definitely does NOT love you!
And now that he knows that he can disrespect you and get away with it…he will most likely continue to cheat on you.

I’m sorry but that’s the truth. Leave him. You deserve better!
And I’m sorry for your loss…of your friend.

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The way I see it is that he didn’t actually cheat if you weren’t together. It’s still a very sad situation, and if there is no trust, there is no relationship. He lied about it which is the unforgivable part to me.

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Well my now ex-husband of over a decade slept with my so I thought best friends of 20 years (and MANY) other people. The short answer is NO! That level of betrayal is so deep, painful, and cruel. Im now divorced from him I have a partner I love have children with ect. Been in counseling for years have zero feelings for my ex but the pain of betrayal and trust issues to are still there. We had children together so I still have to deal with him. So the honest truth is you can never fully move forward when that level of trust and respect is broken I feel like you would always wonder in the back of your mind. Trust your gut and move on. You are worth more then that :heartbeat:

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Trust is gone no getting over it say bye bye

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Move on without them two. You will find someone much better in both positions the friend and boyfriend I promise.

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Leave him. And don’t ever look back.

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Time to love yourself and move on kiddo. He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness.

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Y’all weren’t together so he didn’t cheat but it’s really crappy that he slept with your friend and honestly was she a friend if she was able to do that to you?

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Move on. If you haven’t been able to get over it after a year then you never will. It’s better to start fresh with a new relationship then to keep being upset over it

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There are boundaries and he crossed the line even if your friend is now gone… he lied to you, he will do it again… and clearly there are no boundaries for him ,he crossed the line already so don’t be surprised if he sleeps with someone else who is close to you… you need to love yourself more.

Leave. Thats a shame that either one would do that.

Sounds like you need some better people in your life.

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Move on , new chapter

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Girl LEAVE. Don’t look back. Imagine all of the other things he will lie to you about if you continue to stay.

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Not worth staying with him what’s to say he will do it again move on your better than that I’m sorry to hear about your friend though I no it’s not what you expected but they both did play you

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My bf could never sleep with any of my friends, bc if they sleep with my bf they were never my friend. Also sorry your friend passed before you got to cope with it.

She ain’t your friend, and he ain’t no good. Ditch them both

Without trust you have nothing , move on and foces on yourself.

I think it’s time to walk away. There’s over 7 billion people in the world, you really don’t have to settle for one fella who lied to your face the day you’s got back together. Respect yourself and don’t accept that kind of bullshit :heart:

Out the door if it was me

Don’t even waste your time, eliminate both from your life.

Don’t waste your time, it’s not worth it.

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Unfortunately no, you can forgive them both and try to let it go but it will never stop bothering you. You were lied to and hurt, those feelings you have won’t change no matter how hard you try, you’ll always think about it even if you don’t want to. My ex cheated on me with one of my friends, I forgave them both yet somehow it crossed my mind at random times pretty frequently and after years of it never stopping I finally left. The memory will always hurt especially if you’re still trying to love him, I’m sorry. :slightly_frowning_face:

I think you need a fresh start for yourself that doesn’t include him.

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A relit cigarette will never taste the same and that is all that one should say about re-lighting old flames. Run and burn that bridge, and the friend has gotta go too, any real friend would never do that

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Once a liar, always a liar ! You cannot trust him. Move on to find someone who truly loves and respects you.

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No you won’t. Betrayal like that will be repeated if it’s allowed.

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NOPE! Never. You can convince yourself you will, but it will seep into everything. Find someone who has respect for you. Cheating period is f’ed up but cheating with a bff? that’s a WHOLE other level.

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Well despite her death, she wasnt a friend. He’s a pig, don’t join his pigeon. Find better.

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Your relationship was ruined when he decided to sleep with your friend.
I’m sorry but he is telling you to get over it when he clearly did something wrong. I doubt it will stop there. U “forgave” him once with your friend, in his eyes, sadly it may happen again since he didn’t have any consequences. I’d say leave and find someone who values u.

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Karmas a bitch lol leave his ass

Girl. Why you gotta get over it? Why can’t you move on? Why keep yourself in that kinda struggle? That’s called struggle love. Be glad you ain’t married to him! Let him do him, cause obviously that’s what he gonna do. If you messed around with his friend believe it… he won’t “just get over it”.

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Can only move forward no good looking back!

Say goodbye to the liar

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The Issue is he is dishonest. Move on. Be grateful for the Lessons Learned. Now move forward.

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Leave, that’s messed up

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Nope, that one will stay with you forever.

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Leave! Get out! This will not have a good outcome! Pray a lot!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-boyfriend-slept-with-my-friend-will-i-ever-get-over-it/12862

Hey group admin how is it you can make comments 20h ago on a post 3mins old?

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The fact that he loses his sh*t over it is a red flag for me. Its ok for you to not be ok with it, however uncomfortable it makes him

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You can’t get over it, you can work through it but never over it.
If he loses his shit at you over you mentioning it then he isn’t the one for you. Your mental health is going to keep declining until something breaks.

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I think it’s the lying… what else is he lying about?

No you won’t get over it IMO. He’s a tosser and dosnt care about your feelings. You will resent him more and more and he will just become more of a dick from “sick of hearing about it” move on the best you can

Get rid can’t be trusted I’m afraid x

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-boyfriend-slept-with-my-friend-will-i-ever-get-over-it/12862

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I’m 66 years old, go now, I spent 28+ years with someone who lied to me, many times, stayed for the children, which was wrong on my part… there is someone out there that will truly love n adore you, you’re worth it…

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He can say it’s in the past. He can say it was a mistake. Whereas all that may be true, he is not treating you with care in the present. By trying to silence your hurt for his comfort. Since you love him, you may not see him as a bad guy. Maybe he isn’t all bad. But…that whole trauma, that changed everything. You’re not the same person that loved who you thought he was and what you thought you had. You’re loving an illusion of the past. It broke that day and it’s gone. Accept it and let yourself hurt and heal. Then move on healthy into a better life without all that baggage of betrayal. It’s not to punish him or get even. It’s to be free and not pay the price for what he chose to do. But, only you can decide. It is your life. You don’t owe him the sacrifice of misery.

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He ruined the relationship because he had to of known what he did would hurt you. If it’s messing with you that bad then it’s time to cut ties. Relationships may be hard work but it shouldn’t be stressful, hurtful, and hard to love that person and be with them. You should know that even if you have differences or an argument, that y’all can talk about it and get through it. It’s time to find someone to love you wholeheartedly with respect

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Life is too short to settle. Move on now without him. Hold yourself to higher standards period. Sleeping with your best friend shows a complete lack of respect for you as a person (whether you were on a break or not). In general, people treat us how we allow them to treat us. You are allowing him to disrespect you and he will continue to do it as long as you allow it. When you’re in a solid relationship built of trust and respect, you don’t have to question it, it’s not hard, and you simply enjoy it. This is not a solid relationship. Care more about yourself. Hold yourself to higher standards and find a man deserving of you. This is not that man.

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I wouldn’t waste my time on someone who not only lied to you but also slept with one of your best friends. That’s pretty awful. And on top of that, HE loses HIS shit if you want to talk about it? HELL NO. Talk about nerve. You deserve better than him. Being ALONE would be better than him. He’s not worth the drama, TRUST ME.

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What he did was so disrespectful. It’s nothing to get over. He wants what he wants, doesn’t care what you want, and wants you to be perfectly okay with that. No ma’am. How does it get better from here? That’s why you can’t get over it. You don’t think it can get better either.

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Honestly, if it’s a relationship ur serious about - consider counseling. You were atleast broken up but the fact that he was coming to see you that night is what would get to me the most. It really depends how much you want the relationship. I would consider the fact that u were broken up as well - I fully get why you feel the way you do. You have a right to your feelings but it’s hard to even discuss it from both sides without someone as a mediator & of course other friends & family will have their own opinions - counseling is best. You just have to decide if it’s worth it or not

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