I Am a single mom in a relationship. I have a daughter who’s five from a previous relationship, and my Boyfriend of 2.5 years is complaining that I want to split the rent and household expenses. Stating he shouldn’t have to pay half when there’s three of us… meaning the five-year-old. Am I wrong to think he should be paying half? I do get a small amount in child support that I use towards her expenses specifically. Thoughts?
I think you are correct. JMO. That just creates a red flag for me. How wouldn’t a man want to help as much as possible. Unless he makes so much less than you and can’t afford it. You are in a partnership, not a roommate situation.
So, your boyfriend thinks he shouldn’t pay any rent? Or even a third? That’s crap. Your daughter is 5 years old. She can’t work and earn a wage or salary legally. Her child support is to help you afford things for her like food, clothes, shoes, school supplies, haircuts, … etc. Rent is paid by the adults. If this is his address, he should be paying half of it. You don’t bring a child into this. That’s a big huge no-no!
If he insists on not paying, bye-bye! There’s the door, I’ll box your crap up that you can’t grab in the next 20 to 30 minutes. Honey, you don’t need someone That’s gonna try to go cheap & make you pay for everything.
Had a similar experience and this is a major red flag I overlooked. If your daughter was 18 and working and living at home, sure but 5?! No. This is going to be the first of many if I had to guess. I stayed with my ex for 7 years and he became very financially abusive. Wish I would have looked closer at all the stuff going on in the beginning.
Just my two cents here, but if he really wants to be a part of your life, he has to be a part of your kid’s life. You are a packaged deal. 2.5 years is a long time. Trust me…I know. But if he’s not willing to step up to the plate, then he’s out. Maaaaaaaaybe if he is struggling to make ends meet, then just maybe this is a perfectly fine issue for him to have. If he’s just bumming it though, not cool.
RUN… this is just the tip of the ice burg! I feel like you already know this tho you just want jump ship because your comfortable maybe? Don’t want to start over but don’t settle for a lazy man I bet you he don’t cook, clean and do laundry… best of luck to you
You need to go find you a man, not a boy. Only boys complain about handling grown man business.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend thinks I should pay half of the rent because I have a daughter: Thoughts?
I mean it makes sense to pay half the bills having a kid or not
50/50 includes bills. That’s a relationship, that’s what he’s signing up for!
Get rid of him he not no man
It’s 50/50 for expenses in most cases.
I actually believe it should be 50/50 as she is a CHILD. I can’t stand men like this. you pay her expenses and your half of rent.
he knew what he signed up for.
Yikes. Sorry but get rid of the man. He should be paying half the bills. He is complaining about a 5 year old living rent/bill free essentially. That’s a bit insane. Two adults means the bills get split in half.
Every adult in the house should be paying an even portion So two adults split 50/50 kids do not count
Sounds like a douche that wants a free ride
Does she have her own room? On the rent, I’d say ok especially if she has her own room but no on the other bills.
If he isn’t willing to split 50/50 and treat her like his own child, then why is he with someone that has a child. If you get married he would be the step dad.
my man pays for EVERYTHING, and 2 out of 3 of my kids aren’t his
Red flag number one lol
No way. He is still the other adult living there. So he should be splitting rent with the other adult. Not like you are asking him to pay for your child stuff
Asia Stewart wtf lmfao
He sounds petty counting het in when she is a minor.Tell him pay half of leave who wants to support another adult
He chose to be in a relationship with someone that has a young child. Adults split it 50/50. Otherwise, he should probably go live elsewhere …
hes lucky he isn’t paying the full amount! my husband now paid my full rent when we broke up(before we were married) and Gave me money for my 2 kids that were from a previous relationship. he obviously doesn’t want to support your child i would kick him out and pay full rent
The kid don’t count. Two Adults down the middle
Fuck that for a joke. I’d be leaving the relationship due to how childish he is
Tell your kid to get a job… lololo honestly bf sounds childish kids or not its the adults responsibility to pay if he does not want to help then atleast u know u can do it alone
So you have to pay the whole amount because you have a child? Wow. You shouldn’t be with anyone that thinks that if that’s the case. 50/50
That’s a man who will soon resent your child in many other ways as well. I would make preparations to cut him loose.
So he doesn’t wanna pay half? Or is he wanting you to pick you and your kid. I’m confused because the post said he complained about you paying half then now saying you think he should pay half…?
No no no Dump the douche
Sounds like you need a new man
I’d kick his ass out!
Find a new boy Friend that makes enough money not to be so petty with you!
Thats ridiculous. That sounds like a petty excuse to me. He was aware of the child & signed up for it & if its not something he wants to do id be kicking him to the crub. 50/50. You don’t need to expect him to pay for your child’s belongings but really he should just want to just for love & appreciation . I’m not going to ask my boyfriend to to pay more because of his 3 other children.
I feel like he’s trying to get himself out of paying bills
Shouldn’t both your salaries determine the percentage of each of you???
That tells alot more about him than just paying rent. He’d be gone.
Minors don’t pay rent and utilities. It should definitely be split 50-50 and if I were you I would find a new man. What kind of man says that?
Dude if he’s that petty cut him now !!! Like immediately.
Kick his butt to the curb he is not being supportive of u or ur child at all
He needs to go. If you had a child when you met he knew what he was getting into. He sounds petty and lazy! 50/50 regardless of a child.
Wow unreal, he’s a real winner! NOT!!! Say bye bye boy.
Even your daughter isn’t getting a free ride. U receive money for her to help pay for expenses. He needs to step up like a man and pay his Fair share or hit the road. And let the door hit him in the ass
Why has he not been paying the last 2.5 years?
Uhm shes a child how would she contribute financially to be able to split it? Sounds like he’s trying to be cheap and needs to grow up or let it go…
Maybe he should rent his own place and pay all his bills. Or you rent him a room and charge 75% of what your rent and bills are.
100% should be 50/50 kid or not. Simple
Think about if this is a healthy situation for you and your daughter dear. If he doesn’t want to help now he’s not going to 10 years from now. Trust me.
What a loser get rid of him😉
He should pay half,
Sounds like trouble hon. The baby makes no difference. I went through this, is mostly a weird jealousy on their part…best wishes hon
Tell him not to let the door hit him in the ass on his way out. No MAN would put a woman he loves in this position! 50/50 you aren’t married. She’s a child you didn’t ask him to pay for her! Sickening. Good luck to you it’s all easier said then done.
You should probably move out and make him pay all of it. Send him down the road girl you don’t need that kind of ignorance or negativity on your life.
Eww girl take that baby and leave he ain’t the kinda man you want your baby seeing you with
It’s time for a new boyfriend cause wtf kind of logic is that?
that’s why it so much better to be single!! #lovemysinglelife!
Time to move on. That is ridiculous of him!
Girrrrrl, seriously !
What Alicia said for sure
He ain’t the one if he thinks like that. You guys are dating not roommates.
Just throw the whole man away and get a new one, he a boy.
That one is broken. Send it back to the manufacturer please
Seems like you need a new man
2 grown adults should be half each. The child is a child. But if 2 people are co habitating the bills should be half each.
Don’t be petty about a child. Accept the rent and other bills and act like a responsible man.
You should be questioning this behavior. What will he nit pick next ??
That’s your child and I’m sure you care for anything she/he needs. Don’t be bullied to pay more bills or anything that makes you question him.
Not single mom if in relationship fun. Even if not with the dad
Throw the whole man out and start over wtf
What does he expect the 5 year old to get a job to pay her share? What a loser.
I’d start looking for a new boyfriend who is 100% invested in you & your daughter. Your partner should love your daughter and want to support her as much as you do.
If the tables were turn and he had kids from someone else. Would you think he should pay half the bills
Technically, if your taking up 1 and a half rooms and he is only using a half a room you should pay more. If it was a friend sharing an apartment that’s how it would be, but that Technically. As a man who wants to be with you he should have no rpblem splitting it in half and as a real man he would pay the rent in whole.
I had 3 kids when I met my man. I’ve always paid half. Once we were together long enough our money went together so at this time there is no 50 50. Going on 2 1/2 years together. All the bills are ours and we pay them with our money but not everyone does it that way. He never once asked me to pay more because of my kids.
Red flag. He’s a loser.
Yikes that would be the end for me
If you are asking you already know the answer, as hard as it maybe thank tour lucky stars that you only wasted 2.5. yrs on a man who is nitpicking about a 5yr old
Leave him now !!!
Simple: if your five year old can hold down a job …lol No you shouldn’t…your daughter is part of the package…
Oh nah… u need a whole new man.
Ugh!!! My bf of 3 years takes care of all our children(1is his) I’m a sahm with 5😍 . Your boyfriend is still a child !!
He sounds like an idiot.
Leave him seriously. He’s already trying to tell u he don’t want this anymore but he’s trying to do it by complaining instead of being a real man n saying he wants out so he tries to pick arguments instead. Take your little girl n leave that goofy man
I’m just wondering why you would want to be with a man who would even think that way. If after 2.5 years he doesn’t see that child as being like his own then he probably never will. If he’s already complaining about the child then why would you want to be with him? I can tell you 100% of your focus should be on making sure who your with also wants your child there. I say let him go and pay the whole amount. It sounds like he may still be 50% of a child.
Why is he complaining now if when he meet you you already had her ?
Dump his ass. No real man would ever come at you with some BS like that. And then get a roommate.
What child can pay rent? Why split it 3 ways? He knew what he was getting himself into. Nah, leave quick! He won’t stop with rent either!
He’s the man. Why isn’t he paying most of the bills anyway.
Y’all aren’t married? No kids together? Why in the world be with a “man” like that?
Pour yourself a wine and pack his bags.
he wants to be your ‘roommate’ but have sex with you🤷🏽♀️
Tell him to suck it up! The 5 yr old is not a roommate she’s your daughter and your a package deal. That is so petty!
I think you’re wrong for living with a man with a five yr old. Period. His character speaks for itself
Tell him he’s should pay rent for parking up in her birthing canal! What a dyke!
Throw his ass back in whatever sewer you found him in and do your own thing. That sweet little babe is a package deal. The right man won’t complain about any of that.
Oh momma. This is not a man.
Are you a roommate or a friend with benefits?
Uh… you have a child. He could be paying all the rent and you pay for other expenses… The baby can’t get a job and he knew you had a child before moving in together. He’s trippin. Get a man that pays all the bills
Sounds like he’s using you for a place to stay. You’re a single mother not a homeless shelter.
Run now!! Don’t waste you or your child’s time!
2.5 yrs and this conversation. Lmao and some of y’all agreeing with him. You’re having sex right? Dating? Not just roommate? So does he wanna just sleep with you or be a part of your family? If he is like family not just a roommate this discussion wouldn’t be happening period. So yeah bye boy