Co parenting if he isn’t trusted with the baby yet or like my child she’s 4 and will scream and cry with anyone else even her dad then to make it comfortable and not make her stress out we do things together.
I personally see it as good coparenting unless he has a history of cheating or you have reason to believe he is cheating. He should now how you feel about him spending time with exes but you also have to know that being with someone with a child also means the other parent is going to be there too and there will be events such as this. As for her being too little, that’s just weird.
Just my opinion because I’m entitled to one too…people sayin “co-parenting” would be sayin different if they were in your shoes…and no I would not be cool with it at all. If I’m gonna be the woman in his life then that child needs to get to know me too. So guess what, we all goin to the zoo!!
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Communication is key, I see nothing wrong other than the sneaking… just say hey I am going with my ex to take our son to the zoo…that being said not all relationships are at the introduce my new gf to my child stage. There’s a lot of info missing so that’s all I got. But eventually if it’s serious I’d say yall should be going the 4 of you, so you aren’t left feeling confused/unsure.
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No-…but you should have been invited…
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What if the mom is not comfortable with her child around you especially if your relationship is fairly new maybe that’s the only way she let’s him see her.I think next time you should ask to go.But I honestly don’t see anything wrong it.
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Better for the child.
That’s just good co parenting. Unless you have a reason not to trust him with her. But either way they are both the child’s parents and for the sake of that child they made I hope they maintain a good relationship and put that child first.
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Wow, people on this thread should watch You, me, and my ex television show on TLC 
. Not one person noticing that the guy didn’t TELL her that he was doing that in the first place? That is disrespectful. He doesn’t need permission, but I guarantee if your SO did things without mentioning it to you, you might have a little issue with it. At least tell him your feelings If he doesn’t care, leave. That is the best advice. Trust me, co-parenting is not hanging out alone with your ex. There are boundaries. The child is old enough to stay overnight with the dad. If he is incapable of having the child or doesn’t want the child overnight and then spends quality time with the ex, you might want to look into leaving him. He will only change if he sees something wrong with it and if he wants to change. And it isn’t worth the grief if it continues to happen. I can guarantee others will have issues with it too. I think it would have been more respectful had he asked you to come along. However, that does depend on how long you all have been together. And people should stop name-calling over asking a question because it bothered you. I am sure there are things that they are jealous and childish over.
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I think you need to end the relationship. Your boyfriend should - and might in fact already - put his child before you in every decision. You have to be okay with that and work out how you fit in. It’s not a case of you being less important, though. It sounds like you’re jealous of ‘the child’ (who is it, Baby Yoda?!) and his ex. I think your future demands might lead to him having to make a choice between you and his daughter, and that’s not fair on anyone, least of all the little girl. I’d end it and save everyone some heartache down the line. Coparenting is difficult and being with someone who already has children is difficult, but neither are bad things.
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I wouldn’t trust him. He’s going and doing things with his ex and not being honest about it until you ask. That’s shady! And 2 years old is too young for him to take care of alone?? Please🙄
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Of you don’t trust him leave anyways … you already know if he would mess with her or not! If it’s only co parenting then you should ask to meet her and the child so you could come along…
Babys mamas are a package deal. If you don’t like it date a childless kid.
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Sorry but I think it’s kind of petty to be upset over this 
it’s his kid…. Co parenting is not easy. Be happy he is stepping up and being a dad.
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I’m sorry, huh?
…to small to be left alone with him…
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He didn’t try to hide it. People need to stop dating parents if they can’t understand the other parent is going to be a part of their life FOREVER. Not just until the kid is 18 either.
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No, that sounds more like the mother is just trying to be in control and he’s with his bs too. In that case, the girlfriend should’ve been included. If he were to go to court and request visitation he would get it and not be having to go to the mothers house to hang out. He could take his daughter spend time with her and return her home.
Those are the laws in my state anyway.
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As a step parent myself, you sound selfish. Im not trying to be bitchy, but the child was there before you. Yes, he has an ex, and that ex is the MOTHER of his child. He was honest with you and told you that she was there. No matter if they’re together or not, that is that child’s family. If my stepson wanted to go to the zoo with his mom and dad, I’d say have fun. If you’re not okay with them going to the zoo and him being honest with you, you will only be mad when other things happen. To me it doesn’t sound like you’re cut out to be a step parent. And if you’re dating someone with a kid, that is always a possibility. Should definitely re think where you want to be in life.
If you are not comfortable with him co parenting then this aint the relationship for you hun they gonna be co parenting for life that includes doing stuff together with their child and kudos to them
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Good co parenting , better for the child they get along , stop being selfish and get over yourself. If you dont like it dont date somebody with kids , im sorry , maybe he shouldve communicated but you shouldnt be getting upset.
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I’d be more worried about why he isn’t capable of taking care of his child alone…or why she doesn’t want him to…
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How long have you been together? That can play a big part. Also have you had issues with him sneaking around or anything? Sometime people want to keep things on the down low when they have kids. It’s normal to not bring kids into relationships until it’s a for sure serious thing. Also many parents coparent and do things together because it’s a comfort thing for the child. I wish my ex and I could do things like this. I mean I’m married and have been for like 8 years (my daughter’s dad split my husband is her dad now). In my situation my husband and his wife would both be there but like I said I’ve been married for 8 years. Talk to him about how you feel. Don’t make him feel attacked though. Just simply say it kind of makes you wonder. Always encourage him to have a healthy co-parenting relationship though. His child especially at 2 years old deserves to have both parents. Just tell him you would like to start thinking about maybe trying to introduce you into the child’s life. It doesn’t mean it will happen right a way though. I know it’s a hard situation just remember it’s about the child.
He can’t take his own kid to the zoo? Run! He’s totally inept. That bothers me more then going with his ex. He’s a man child!
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I’d be questioning why he isnt allowed to take his own child. Dont worry about the mother
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend went to the zoo with his ex and child, should I be mad? - Mamas Uncut
Co parenting at its best…that child is young and will have lots of visit like this…If this is not something you can handlen then maybe your in the wromg relationship
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A question for you??? Ok you asked your Man Freind what he had done today right an he answered you by telling you that he had a long day that he had took his little girl to the zoo right ok he was honest then you asked him if he was with the little girl’s moma right he said yes ok once again he was honest. Then why are you trying to read something else into something like this, he knew she would want her mommy she’s 2 most Daddy’s don’t change diapers if she still wares them maybe he didn’t want to risk taking her in the men’s Restroom get with it people He just May be a very Nice Daddy an don’t want his little girl upset and just wanted her to have a good day
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I feel like at that age was when my son started doing more independent things with his dad, them alone or I had someone else supervise from afar.
That’s a good age to start letting kids bond with the other parent alone, it breaks up the “image” of the mommy-daddy-child family, and starts clarifying that it’s
Daddy and child, and then there’s mommy and child.
I would have a talk with him about it, how you feel and how he feels and what’s going to happen and keep happening. I don’t want to say don’t jump to conclusions because sometimes our gut is just screaming. But definitely talk to him about it and the boundaries and what you feel you deserve in your relationship as far as respect.
Remember he is a dad before he is your boyfriend so be cautious how you go about the conversation as it is not easy at all.
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In these situations, you have to always think of the child. Instead of thinking about how you feel, imagine how the child felt today. She probably had the best day at the zoo. If the child is happy and healthy, nothing wrong with that. Not only is the child happy, it’s a great quality your man can coparent.
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I know it’s uncomfortable for you to have your boyfriend around his ex. Maybe you’re upset because your boyfriend didn’t tell you nor explained to you about co-parenting. You can talk to him about it but please try also to understand the child’s feeling. A child just had a very nice day with her parents. They’re doing it for the child.
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You knew he had a child when you decided to get into a relationship with him.
The fact that you refer to HIS child as “the child” tells me a lot about your feelings towards his child.
How about you suggest spending time with him and his child, instead of being jealous.
The mother of this child is always going to be in your boyfriend’s life and if you can not accept this then you are going to lose this relationship…any decent father will not choose a girlfriend over his child. It is up to you to build a good relationship with his child if you want to stay in their lives as well as with the mother of the child or do you want the drama of them both hating you? Grow up.
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Look. His babies Mom isn’t going anywhere. They share a child. Point Blank.
It’s called co-parenting.
If you want the relationship, the sooner you realize that, the better.
I would never have let anybody take my nearly 2 year old child, without me, when mine were that small. That includes their father.
If you have a problem with him being around his babies mother you might as well move on.🤷
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Weird that your first question was was it with the mother and not did you have a good time.or how is the baby. I just think you are jealous and should probably not be involved in this type of relationship with a man who is co parenting because you’re just gonna wreck it for the kid.
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I do this with my ex husband all the time with our kids, we’re co-parents and like that the kids get to spend time as a unit even though we’re split. As long as he’s up front, I don’t see a problem
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The fact he can’t take care of his own child alone. Um yea there is a real winner. Lose this dude quick.
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The way it seems, if your boyfriend isn’t mature enough to watch HIS 2 year old child…what does that say about him? My fiancee has cared for his child alone since newborn, when necessary. Express to him how you feel about it and if you don’t like that situation remove yourself from that equation or maybe next time he will include u.
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Grow up. It’s good that the parents can do things together with their child. The kid is going to grow up knowing that even though their Mum and Dad are not together that they still hangout and do things together. As long as it’s not crossing any relationship boundaries like them still seeing each other in a romantic kind of way. Also he is a Father before he’s your boyfriend and you knew he had a child before dating him.
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family days are important especially for a 2 year old! encourage it more often please.
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Unless he gives you a reason not to trust him, I’d say be understanding. Not every parents that aren’t together are vindictive towards each other, some are lucky and are great co parents and that’s so amazing for the kid. Try talking about your feelings of insecurity without blaming or accusing, and tell him you don’t want to upset him but you feel a certain way and are worried. Open up and have good communication, maybe even ask if it would be okay to meet the mom because step parents should have good relationships with each other too, it just makes everything better for the child in the end if everyone, bio and step, get alone
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The zoo with his x and you are asking
And the mother went cos he can’t take care of his daughter
Taking care of a child comes natural to any woman so ask him y you and him and his daughter go to the zoo
If you sleep with this man
Then you need to let him know that this is not jersey shore
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It’s a great co-parenting relationship. Don’t be insecure about it. He sounds like a good dad and it’s great he gets along with the ex so they can show his kid they are still friends and get along. Kids need that. If you can’t handle it then you need to end the relationship now and be single or in a relationship with man who doesn’t have kids. On a sidenote, the kid is 2 and is old enough to be with dad without mom around. A judge would grant visitation unless there’s a good reason no to. Just because mom doesn’t want the kid out of her sight is not a valid reason. So why can’t he see his own kid without mom around?
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Uh why couldn’t you and him take her to zoo? Nope wouldn’t work for me. If mama was going she could’ve gotten grandma or sister to go.
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If the mom is supposed to be there for him to spend time with the kid, then it makes sense to me that the mom would be at the zoo with them. That doesn’t make it a date or necessarily mean he’s trying to get back together with her, it probably just means that he wanted to take his kid to the zoo so they co-parented and took their kid to the zoo. Seems reasonable to me if that’s all it was. If it bothers you, talk to him about it and see where his head his, definitely don’t go about it in an accusing manner. Just see how he’s feeling and if it was simple parenting or meant something more.
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I see no problem with that. It wasn’t a date. It was two people co-parenting and coming together for a few hours for their child’s sake. My ex and I did tons of stuff together for our sons as they grew up.
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So u will have to learn that a child is a lifetime commitment even if the parents aren’t together…he has every right if u dont like it and cause a fuss about It I can almost guarantee the relationship wont work…u should feel proud to be dating a guy that steps up to his responsibilities most men dont do this after a split up… speaks highly of him
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The mom will be around your whole relationship… if you can’t handle it now, leave. Let that man find someone that is confident enough in the relationship to realize the kid comes first.
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That is great coparenting and teaches the child that they have parents United
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Personally my sons dad would invite me and I him when my son was younger we weren’t in relationships and we got to spend time with him and get along. We never got back together and didn’t want to. I personally felt a lot more comfortable being with my son with his dad then leaving my son with his dad alone. I can say I trust his dad but I feel men don’t watch kids as well as mothers. I don’t think you should be upset about it. Maybe just be like oh okay cool let me know next time atleast please if that makes you more comfortable
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The kid is blood your not. You need to accept that his child is more important than you
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My daughter and her ex get along great. His new wife and her get along like family. They often do things together. It takes a village for sure. Try to understand not everything is about cheating.
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He should’ve talked it over before he went .Its not his ex fault or the baby at some point the mom and child have to get used to you , I’d talk with him gl
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My ex and I do this.! It’s important that our child have memories with her two favorite people together and not get memories with her mom and memories with her dad. The goal is to make the child feel so incredibly loved that two people that didn’t workout for whatever reason can put it all aside to give her what she needs. Sometimes my new partner participates in our outings and somethings it’s just us three.
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You will and should always come second to the needs of his child. His child needs his parents to have a healthy relationship.
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Depends on how long this goes on for it could show the child a different story. My husband had his two older children alone with they were this age and younger by himself. We did Halloween together but that’s about it. Now we switch holidays.
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The child is almost 2 but is too young to be left alone with their own father??? I’d be more concerned that he can’t take care of his child without the mother present. What makes a woman more competent to take care of a child alone than a man? My husband has been taking care of our children alone for long stretches on days when he’s off and I had work since the beginning. It would be a mess if I couldn’t trust my kids with him while I was gone.
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Think u need to get used to it if u plan on being with him. I’d be proud that hes being a good dad, maybe the issue is u not trusting him?
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Coparenting win for this dad and Mom. The suspicion of the girlfriend is really understanding but if you’re with someone who coparents, you need to understand that the child and mother will be there, bottom line. If it’s something you can’t accept, get out of those lives before there’s any trauma due to someone being uncomfortable.
He’s coparenting and clearly doing an amazing job for his baby and putting he and the mothers differences aside and doing whats best for the child. He hasn’t lied or even given you a reason to doubt him. You need to realize his child’s mommy isn’t going anywhere and for the child’s sake I hope they stay coparenting like this. If its not something you can handle maybe this relationship isn’t best for you
My daughter is 12 me and my daughters father split when she was 3 my husband has been here since a few months after me and her father broke up I wish we did things like this together for her…honestly we spent years angry and fighting with eachother when we should have been doing this type of stuff with her I would say if you are questioning it you should probably find someone else this should be a normal thing parents do with their children he seemed to be honest with you, hopefully they continue for their child’s sake I’m sure the child will appreciate it a ton when they are older knowing that even apart they still put the child first
I would be proud of him. Obviously stepping up as a real Dad to his child. If you get up set with it now you should probably remember she will be part of your lives forever it not gonna change.
I would be more concerned with the fact that he cant be alone with his own child. The childs mother is always going to be in his life. This sounds like you dont care about his child only about whether or not his ex was there. He has to see her and his child. Hopefully you grow up and get over it, because if you get serious with him there might be times you are around his kid, and as a mother myself, if my son’s dads girlfriend had a problem with me for no reason, I wouldn’t want her around my kid to possibly talk about me in front of him. I co parent. We do things together and even still buy each other Christmas and birthday gifts. Extreme jealously in any case is just not good for a relationship
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Grow up! Parents do things together with their children all the time whether they are under the same roof or not. If you can’t handle that then maybe you shouldn’t be with him. Be lucky you’re with a man who is civil with his child’s mother rather than a deadbeat.
My children are 13 & 11 we still all do things with their father (birthdays,Xmas, days out) Grow up. If your insecure - leave! If he lied about it then reason to be mad but sounds like he’s been straight up.
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The child ? Hun maybe you schould really think on your stance of being a step parent… it’s not for everyone. That child has done no wrong and that child deserves love and respect… the father being involved and a part of his child’s life around the mother ? I mean why is that bad? In a public space. Where he told you where and what he was doing. …
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Trust issues arising, let him get too know his child too, after all the child could stay with you&partner eventually, don’t be quick to judge,perhaps offer to meet with them😉
I went with my kid and her dad my ex she was 11 but didn’t wanna go with him. I went everywhere for a summer and my kid that wasn’t him. After she got used to him her and her bigger sister went
He needs to go-parent with her and honestly you need to accept that. If they only took their child to the zoo what’s wrong with that. The only one that matters is that little girl and that she can see that her mommy and daddy can get along despite not being together anymore. It was in a public place
We do the same. Has zero to do with us and everything to do with the kids being happy and showing them we continue to be a family, only structured a bit differently now.
Coparenting is very important as we all know. But when you began to date someone you take that person’s feelings into consideration.
First of all me and my sons dad co-parented just fine back when my son was a baby and when I allowed the dad to have our son for visitation, which was every weekend before our son was even a year old. I never joined them during THEIR time together.
There is a little missing info. I’m assuming he doesn’t have rights to the child because it seems he don’t have visitation rights (correct me if I’m wrong) It seems he’s allowing the mom to control the situation. If he don’t have any rights to his daughter; it would be smart for him to go to court and get his rights ASAP. the judge will most likely allow him parenting time/visitation (without her present). As long as the mom can’t prove him being a danger to the child in any way then there’s no reason he won’t get rights as a father should and receive visitation (without supervision by the mother or no one lol) In my case the judge allowed my sons dad to have over night stays before our son was 2 years old. Your post don’t have a lot of detail.
I’m just going to say my sons dad has had a girlfriend/girlfriends ever since we split up after having our son and we NEVER took our kid any where together. If he was to ever suggest something like that I would invite the girlfriend (ive always been civil with his girlfriends) I just feel it’s a respect thing.
Either way, if it bothers you. Your feelings are valid regardless of what anyone says. Yes, positive coparenting is great for not only the parents , but the child. However, with some parents that line can get blurred or crossed sometimes.
First come to terms with the fact your boyfriend has a child and an ex. Then think about it, would have the child’s parents arguing or getting along? Then have a conversation with your boyfriend and say I’m ok with you doing things with his child and ex as long as he let’s you know up front. Believe me it’s better for your relationship if they are getting along cause if they weren’t it would get in the middle of the 2 of you.
Be proud of your man for great co-parenting skills! If your really insecure about it get to know mom so just initiate the next adventure, for example in a group text “hey (insert moms name) they had a deal at the aquarium so I bought 4 tickets, let’s all take (daughters name) this weekend!”
He’s doing the best he can for his child. Co-parenting is hard enough without putting issues into it especially from their companion.
You shouldn’t have to ask how or what to feel. It either bothered you or it didn’t
You should be able to go with him to see his daughter and if you’re not welcome then you’re in a nowhere relationship
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The first question you should have asked was " did you enjoy your time with your child". If two ppl can still co-parent without the bullshit, then you should feel blessed that there’s no drama. Don’t create drama where it’s not needed
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Was his ex already there? Maybe he took his child to see her, you know, it being the zoo and all…
It’s something you will need to get used to
I mean the feelings are there but it will be best to put them feelings to the side
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I would let them be. Leave then alone. Move on
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Not all Daddy’s are Jerks sweetie so be careful or you just might be single again don’t stress over the small stuff
What’s wrong with that? It’s good to see parents getting along and co-parenting
i have an advise for your boyfriend, dump you in this instant.
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I’d be pissed. She is 2, she’s old enough to be with HER DAD ALONE!!
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That’s how co-parenting works. Deal with it or leave. Good luck
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Get over it, he’s spending time with his child. He didn’t lie about anything, I don’t see what the issue is 
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Yes he should if it’s something they wanted to share with their child. It’s their child always will be. Been nice to have included you though 
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I have a 2 year old to my ex, he is constantly going on about wanting us to spend time all together ( which I refuse because I can’t stand him after what he put me through and the way he still behaves towards me and wants me back and I have a new partner ) he wants us to all go to the park together and stuff like that and uses the excuse that it would benefit our child to all be together at times. But I know it’s only to benefit himself and his delusions. But that’s my story…
If your boyfriend doesn’t feel comfortable or able to have his child on his own then it’s probably best he spends time with the child with someone else. Not that it should be his ex, but for the child’s sake that seems best. Is it his first child? It can be quite overwhelming for first time dad’s to feel comfortable looking after another life that’s in thier hands and feel alot of pressure and stress. I think he should have atleast mentioned it to you before just going along and telling you about it afterwards. I know some people can get along with thier ex’s really well and do these types of outtings with no dramas and it is for the child’s sake. Father’s don’t want to miss out on things like the first time their child goes to the zoo and ect. I understand your discomfort towards this though. Having your partner Hanging out with an ex or past lover can make you wonder if they are cheating with them and question your place in thier life. I’d ask him what his intentions are with this and if he has feelings for his ex still and where you stand with him. Why can’t he have his child and spend time with you together? Why is he not comfortable to have his child by himself… if my ex could stop being an absolute dipshit I would probably go to the park together or whatever with our child at times
It’s a hard one and I can totally understand your concerns for the matter. I think he needs to be more upfront and honest with you.
What I read was…my boyfriend has a 2 yr old who he doesn’t miss out on and doesn’t abandon because he has a over jealous ex who doesn’t have anything better to do with her time than whine about having to actually coparent for his kid.
You need to stop acting childish. And who are you? You are replaceable over his child. Girl continue to act this way see how long he will put up with it. And vice versa. You really need to wake up cause that kid is 2. He will always have to be there for not only his child but his child’s mother too. Idc if it’s 3am and if she calls him with I have to take him to the emergency room somethings wrong…he’s going to go. And you’ll be mad over him leaving to be there for that as well.
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I would not personally put up with this. I would be asking the child now comes to you both so you can help him on contact if you are planning on staying together your a team. I think it’s very disrespectful of him and sounds like he is trying to have his cake and eat it. Know your worth girl if this went though court she wouldn’t be there at any age of the child. Sounds like mother is being controlling also by not letting him have the child to be alone with him for contact with him and keeping him around. It’s about time it was stopped sit him down and tell him it’s about time it changed and you will be there to support him and guide him as when you took him on you took his child on also they come as a package which you want to be part of. Think you will find after this conversation you will see completely where you stand and get your answers good luck it’s a hard situation. Don’t let anyone disrespect you in that way the other option is ask if you can join them on these days out so mother can then meet and start to trust you with her child. X
Yes it’s overacting. Think logically girl .
I mean a baby mother and baby father relationship has nothing to do with you just like yalls relationship ain’t got nothing to do with baby moms!
Going to use this as 1 example. Her and him are the parents of the kiddo. You’re the new gf. I don’t know situation on why the separated and why he says she’s to young to be left alone with him. Maybe those are questions you need to ask him or her. Especially when a 2 year old kid is involved and you’re his new gf. It is healthy for the child to see both parents getting along for the child even though separated. Don’t know how long yall 2 have been together but maybe ask to be included in outings. Seems to me they are just co-parenting when he sees his child and that nothing probably is going on between them 2. Co-parenting can be difficult but if they have it figured out and working for their child then let it be. You got in a relationship knowing your bf had a kid from prior relationship. So now you have to be reasonable when it comes to him, his ex, and their child. But if it is bothering you this much then maybe you need to move on from relationship.
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That child is not too young. That’s some major bull. Get out of that relationship because sooner or later things are gonna go very wrong… there’s co parenting and being too friendly. That mother doesn’t want you around the child.
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Maybe he has family living at the zoo ??
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Clear case of him having his cake an eating it 2 smh the child is old enough to spend time with the father without the mother if there isn’t nothing goin on! An if Co patenting is that easy for them then shit shouldn’t be a problem don’t be blinded by the b.s.
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This is not about you and your feelings. This is about what’s best for that child. You’re gonna have to grow up and be mature about parents choosing to coparent how they see fit depending on what’s best for the kiddo. Gotta stay on the sidelines and keep your feelings in check.
I wont let my childs dad take her without me. Dont @ me on this with assumptions about my situation, but if this is a boundary of hers then he is respecting that while still treating his daughter to a day out.
It’s their child, they may not be together but they still jointly parent their child.
Find someone without the children and work on your insecurities.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend went to the zoo with his ex and child, should I be mad? - Mamas Uncut
Considering you’re referring to her as “the child” and not “his daughter” shows you’re jealous of this little girl that she’s “taking time with him away from you.” She’s not even two. If he doesn’t have one on one experience with toddlers, the. She probably is too small for him to handle alone comfortably. You sound bitter.
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he could be open and honest by letting you know his plans WITH the mum and child. Seems like he kept out the fact that he was with the mother on purpose idk kinda shady.
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