get an attorney and get a child custody in place. that’s the only way to fix this situation when she’s acting like that
Take her ass to court and get visitation set up asap!!
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Not your problem…. He’s not your husband.
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Court order for sure! But keep in mind, this is his problem to deal with. Its best you do not get involved.
She really needs to understand how blessed she is that the father wants to be in the children’s life there’s so many that aren’t
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Child support and visitation are 2 separate things in the eyes of the court. They are never dependent on the other. I would suggest getting a calendar and note book and start keeping track of every incident that happens. Then getting a lawyer and going to court
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It’s nice you are concerned about your partner but he was old enough to make the children BEFORE he met you so he is old enough to manage his responsibilities.
If he wants access he will take her to court or approach mediation as a first step.
Withholding maintenance is childish. The children need those funds regardless whether he sees them or not
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Paying child support doesn’t mean he gets to see his kids if he’s an unfit unstable parent….ask the court! Also ride or die girlfriend of 6 months to a still married but separated man….stay in your lane
Not your business. But food for thought…. If he has a child support order, he should have a custody agreement & if she doesn’t follow that he can take her to court for violating that court order. Obviously he must not want them that bad or in 3 years he would have had it done by now. And remember hunny, just becuz he’s your boyfriend you DON’T & will NEVER know the full story I can promise you that! 
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Court order. Support and visitation/access are two separate things. Even if he didnt pay she cannot withhold the kids from him if a set court order.
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I hate these posts…lots of free advice from person’s without a clue:
- LAWYER UP: if he could afford a lawyer why not just pay her the money/extra money she asking for? It’s better some of the money go to the kids than all the money going to a lawyer! If a lawyer tells you it’s going to cost you $15k tops, count on it costing $30k or more
- GO TO COURT: (defend your self) if you thing judges work at their jobs to distribute justice and better mankind, you are an idiot. Judges only care about bill able hours they charge to county. That’s how the get paid. They want maximum pay for the least effort. If your too poor to afford a lawyer or defend your self - your last on the list every time. By the time your case is resolved the kids will college age.
BOTTOM LINE: the legal system is in favor of women. That’s reality.
JUST PAY THE EX what she wants. Stay in touch with your kids. Stay in their lives. She can’t talk shit about you if you give her what she wants but she may still.
KIDS ARE STUPID…you don’t agree? Ask a kid if Santa Clause is real? Kids might believe their mom but then they grow up…eventually they learn Santa Clause was a lie and the lies their mom told them about their dad were lies as well.
MAKE A CHOICE say in your kids lives (give up your money) get screwed by your Ex or leave your kids lives for ever (save your money)…it comes down to this …what’s more important, money or your kids?
2 sides to every story and if you have only been with him 6 months there is probably a ton you don’t know. If he’s got an issue he can’t take it up with family court but you shouldn’t get involved.
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Get OUT. It’s not going to get Easier. Life is to short for problems like this
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He needs to take her to court
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He should still give child support money and take her to mediation or court if he wants to see them. That money is for the kids . Saying no does nothing for her just hurts the kids.
He should take her to court. And if he has any proof he should bring it to court and show the judge.
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Court. That’s the way to go!
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Stay out of it is the best advice ever. Do not get involved let him stand up like a man and handle the situation!
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He is hoi g to need a custody order n when she does not follow he needs to get her charged with co tempt.He will have to go to.prothonatary n file a petition. For a concealeator hear.I g usually about 300 dollars he can take a lawyer but don’t have to if that don’t work file age I. For modificatiinsame way goid luck sorry it costs money n guys pay to.much support n have nothing left
Get a diary write everything down and go to meditation.
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I’ve been through it tell him to get an attorney or go to the FOC
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Get child support court order and get court order agreement that she has to follow or she will be held in contempt charges and go to jail
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Court court court!!!
Do they have a court agreement? If they do, she’s in violation. If they don’t, she’s clearly one that you have to go to court with and have an agreement so she can’t pull this card. Tell him to go to court and file the papers. Until he does that, she has that control unfortunately.
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Time to lawyer up. Parental alienation is no joke to courts.
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He needs to go to court and keep records of all the interactions also record her according to state laws. Next custody hearing bring it over and show that hes getting blackmailed for money.
Thats the only way unfortunately some not call women and men sometimes will use the children as bargaining chips.
Go to court. Get a custody agreement. Follow it. If she doesn’t let him see kidd she is in contempt of court and can lose time with them
The only thing you can do is be supportive. This is a issue that he must handle himself he needs to document everything. Every time he gives her money, every time she disallows him to see his kids. Put dates on it and everything and then bring it to court so that he can show he been doing his part but she doing everything she shouldnt be.
I feel like this should be obvious, but you keep all of the evidence of this and then take her ass to court
Get a court order. That’s the only way it’s going to work.
First of all, you need to stay out of it, no opinions, no phone calls, texts, etc. HE needs to step up and take responsibility for making sure the court grants him visitation. You are a third party in this.
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Boyfriend of 6 months?? Mind your business, baby…
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He needs to take her to court.
That’s such a bitch act on her behalf. Document everything, get receipts for all money given keep all texts emails ect only contact her via emails or text and take her to court.
Get both sides of the story ,
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Money orders never cash
You been with him for 6 months… he needs to get to court and set up his payments and parenting time. If he doesn’t and makes excuses as to why. Then she isn’t keeping kids he is using it as an excuse not to forced to have them.
Court Date… this woman is being a bitch. ANYONE who uses their children as leverage is SCUM.
Get a lawyer and a court order.
It’s not your problem, let he and her handle it.
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Court will be the only way to resolve that kind of behaviour
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Why don’t you let him worry about it because it’s not your business as a girlfriend. Sorry but he can fight his own battles if he wants to and your not married so your opinion wouldn’t matter to court.
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This is what court is for.
I wonder what the mother’s perspective is…
Regardless, using children as leverage for money is at least toxic, and at the worst scocipahtic or narcisstic behavior which will deeply harm the children.
Sounds like he needs to go to court and get some legal visitation. Especially if there’s no reason he shouldn’t see them. He’s paying child support, he’s trying to be active. Well he needs to get a formal contract then. Sometimes informal stuff works, sometimes it doesn’t. Looks like this doesn’t. Have him go to court. You need to also keep your mouth shut and unless you are absolutely needed let the two of them and the courts work it out.
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Is there a court order
Get to court and get a parenting plan in set were they both agree on needs like these. Sorry girly you can nag and itch all you want, it won’t change a bit. Please or this won’t work out… From experience. Good luck
Go to court. Visitation and child support are 2 separate issues
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Court orders are a waste of paper!! If they don’t do as stated, it costs thousands to amend them. My ex was doing drugs, is an alcoholic… courts stated I needed $80,000 to fight for them. System is defected!!!
Definitely court and make sure he documents everything. All the money he is giving her needs a receipt or tracking. She can tell the court he never gave her anything.
Sticking in your lane for this is helpful not trying to be rude just without getting her side it’s hard to say what’s is fair
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Parenting plan through a court appointed mediator
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Document everything and get the courts involved.
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He needs to find an attorney that deals with custody issues and child support.
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Keep the texts, hire a lawyer, and go to court
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I love that you are concerned. But you’re the 6 month girlfriend to a guy that’s been separated from his kids for 3 years.
Again, great that you are concerned, but it isn’t your problem or your business. The guy has had 2 and half years before you to grow a brain and see legal counsel (even if just a consultation to get advice of his rights which would of cost him minimal).
He’s told you his ‘story’ and I’m sure the mother has own ‘story’ but the actual truth; is somewhere between those two ‘stories,’.
It’s not uncommon especially in a new relationship for a party to claim ‘i can’t see my kids as the ex won’t let me’. It’s a great line for pulling on the heart strings. And it’s not uncommon for latter down the track the realisation that they actually don’t want to see their kids. If they honestly wanted to see their kids … They wouldn’t wait 3 years and for a girlfriend to come along.
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A lawyer is the only way when you’re dealing with someone like that. Mines gone through the same thing for the last year and will finally start getting them every other weekend here soon. Find a GREAT lawyer. Ask around before hiring one.
Tape his conversations with her then go to court, if she lies about what was said then tapes can be introduced as evidence
Children should never be used as leverage, gambling tools or tools to hurt the other parent. It’s not only highly damaging to that parent but to the children themselves /or child.
He’s a grown man he can go to court at any time
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Court house- now. If he pays support, he has proof of the transactions. That’s a violation of a court order. If they don’t have an official one and he just pays her then time to hire a lawyer and create one
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That s what attorneys are for
Make sure he pays because child support and visitation is two different things… My ex tried to take me for contemp and when I told the mediator the reasons for them not going and last thing I said was and he doesn’t pay his support. He said the only reason he was not holding me for contempt is because of the proof I had and told me weather he pays or not he had the right to see them.
Take her back to court. Get her a contempt charge
If the court ordered child support they can order her to let him see his children. No song no sing so.
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Have your boyfriend take his ex back to court.
My son had a problem with his ex-wife years ago. She would literally block his car in the driveway so he couldn’t take the kids.
My son took her to court a number of times on it.
He finally got a lady judge who told her if she did it again her ass would be in jail. The judge also told her she was lucky that he pays child support and he wants to see his kids many men don’t.
I would document every time she pulls that. I wish him luck.
My son went to hell and back because he loved his kids so much. Payed thousands of dollars ,and she put him in bankruptcy and he lost his home
He should be allowed legal visitation which he will get from court
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He’s just your boyfriend for 6 month, I know you’re in an infactuation period and u’r crazy about him. But it’s his fight he need to battle alone.
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K wait so 3 years and he hasnt done anything about it yet?..
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if there is a court order call the police show paper work get it documented
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Get a parenting plan.
Child support and visitation must both be court ordered. When she doesn’t surrender the children she’s in violation. Hell win his kids full-time. Its really not that hard, involve the court system.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriends ex has been keeping their kids from him: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Court is the only way, he needs to get legal documentation outlining his time
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Tell him to take her to court, that way if she refuses to hand them over, she will be held accountable
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Let him worry about it. Stay out of it. Not your job or business to fix it or him.
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He needs to get an attorney and handle it before she does and has false claims against him. If she does that now, she’ll be worse later. Get that attorney and show proof she does that.
He needs to petition the court for a DNA test then file for joint custody!!!
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Start using only texts (so u have a log of what was said). Get an attorney and file for visitation. Do not give her any extra money either.
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She can get arrested for keeping the kids from him. Hope he has a custody order for being able to see his kids
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He should keep a notebook about what happens each time he’s supposed to see them.
Why hasn’t he went to court and got visitation rights? She can’t keep the kids then
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Well first he needs to get a court ordered visitation schedule. All the money he is handing her won’t count. He needs to go to court.
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He’s the father so he has rights. Literally all he’s gotta do is go to the courthouse and it’s free too
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Get a court order, and if there is already one then she has to abide by it.
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Start using all contact through text and save them, hire an attorney and go to court
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Write everything down. Dates times and everything she says or reasons why he can’t see them. Call a lawyer. See if they can settle it in mediation to avoid a trial. But as long as there’s a court order she can’t keep them from him or she will be in contempt.
Unfortunately HE has to get an attorney and go back to court. My ex husband and I were in the same boat with his daughters mother while we were together, we would have to get an attorney and go back to court to make sure the court order was being enforced.
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Court. Then when she violates, she gets smacked with contempt of court.
When I hear someone say they cant see their kids its an excuse. Because he should had already taken her to court if he really wants them. The fact that he isn’t just because she said so is a low ball excuse.
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Take her to court and get the judge to make the decision for her that if he has a special time for the kids she Had to let them go.
All the man has to do is go to court. I’m just saying it’s not rocket science. She can only keep them from him if he lets her… my brother is a single dad and he went HARD in court for his son, for visitation, for equal rights** and time, and to make sure his son has everything he needs (even if my brother does without) then after. There just aren’t any excuses if you ask me after seeing that kind of fatherly love.
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Keep everything documented and take it to court! If you have proof of everything you’re saying a judge definitely won’t like seeing the mother doing that kind of stuff especially when she’s scheduling activities for the kids on days they have agreed for him to see his kids!
Court ordered visitation. That’s the only way my husband got to see his boys again. But go with a lawyer, lawyers are always best. We have done self represented and lawyer. We found having a lawyer is better.
First off you are new to the scene and as a Mom who is divorced and has remarried my kids didn’t not meet my now husband until 6 months of us dating to make sure it was a real thing and my ex husband waited 4 months ! So yes this needs to be documented with text communication but maybe she is making excuses because she wants to make sure before she sends her kids to stay with him ! Not sure if you are a live in girl friend or what but that may have something to do with it ! If so she should address that and let the kids see their Dad but maybe with you not around ! The kids come first ! Some people don’t care about how fast and move from girlfriend / boyfriend to the next and that could be a concern
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I get it, you’re only trying to help… but he is your bf of 6 months. There may be more to it than you’re aware of.
You’re intruding may be putting the mom in a spiteful mood… that’s totally wrong of course, maybe you should keep out.
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Get a court order set up for custody and visitation. She will then have to comply or be held in contempt. Also hopefully you have written proof of her withholding the kids, judge won’t like that. I agree with others, why he waited this long is beyond me. First time a parent withholds the kids, get a court order. Same for child support
Sounds like a trip back to Family court. What a horrible witch she sounds like for keeping a father away from his kids. Very selfish.
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Get an attorney. Start documenting EVERYTHING. judges don’t like that at all and there’s a good chance he could get more than 50/50. I’ve seen judges actually flip custody for parents doing this crap.
Gotta go to court even when everything’s goin good u should still have a court agreement