Take her to court and get a order for visitation
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If its court ordered then take her to court for contempt.
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Honey, I’m not saying this is true in his situation, but…lots of men say this kind of stuff when in reality, they’re the ones being deadbeats or unfit. My first husband did this to me. Convinced me that his ex was keeping their daughter from him, and only wanting his money. I believed this for almost 2 years before I began to realize he didn’t want to see her. And then I had a child with him too. He has not seen nor spoke to her in 6 years. He now has 3 (that I know of) daughters that he doesn’t see or speak to, or pay child support, and he calls us crazy and money digging sluts. I’m not saying this is your boyfriend, I’m just saying…be careful. There are two sides to every story.
Google fathers rights in your state. Lots of resources typically.
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He has rights he needs to take her to court for them to handle it all also it will be on paper for this reason… keep all text and all payment stubs he has made to her for documentation for the courts
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Court and good lawyer
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He needs to get a back bone and file in court. Period… If he’s not willing to do that, there’s no room for sympathy. 🤷
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Advice? Stay out of it. You only know one side of the story. Support him but keep your thoughts and comments to yourself. Like I said you only know his side. There are 3 sides to every story his, hers and the truth.
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Court -time. She can be held in contempt
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He needs to take her to court
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Stay out of it…not your business at all…
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My advise is you stay out of it and let him sort it
He needs to continue to pay child support and take her to court for visitation also only communicate via text so you have proof of what’s going on my question is tho if she has been like this since they broke up 3 years ago why has he not taken her to court before now
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriends ex has been keeping their kids from him: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
He needs a visitation arrangement done through the courts.
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Needs to take her to court ! I never made my kids suffer by keeping them from their Dad. And there were tines child support was way behind. Some day those kids will resent her for doing this. Good Luck with the fight.
Yes yes he needs to do this he needs to do that. If he really has been as great as you’re saying then the mother needs to get her act together and stop trying to play God. Disgusts me because yes the parent suffers but the ones who really suffer in all of this are the kids. And they will recognise it as they get older and they will resent the parent who has damaged their relationship with the other parent x
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Listen, you can’t help him. These aren’t your kids, and the more you interfere, the more the mother is going to do this. Stay out of it. You can give him advice, maybe to talk to a lawyer, but that’s it. Don’t call her, don’t text her, don’t do anything. Just be moral support for him. That’s it. Chances are she’s telling people that she doesn’t want her kids around her ex’s latest fling. Show her that you are not a threat, you are not there to try to take over as mom, nor do you have any desire to get between her and your boyfriend co-parenting. If you have the opportunity to speak to her, then by all means, express this to her. Try to befriend her. BUT…do not initiate it or try to force it. Single moms are protective, and very insecure when it comes to new women in their ex’s lives. There’s always a looming fear that the new girlfriend will take their place not only in dad’s life, but in the kid’s lives as well. Now he should go see a lawyer, but you should just step back and stay out of it.
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It’s time to take her butt to court and get his kids. If he is doing the right thing then he should see them. Kids are smart and don’t forget nothing and that could come back and bite dear old mom in the butt. So tell dad to fight for his and the kids right to spend time with their dad and shame on mom for being hateful.
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Get the court papers showing where he has visitation. Call the police to escort him to her house. Show them the papere.That’s what my nephew had to do.
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You should definitely stay out of it and he should go to court get it in writing and when she violates bring her back to court. I went through it for years it is difficult but eventually you get it worked out. Do not get involved you will alienate the child’s mother more.
I suggest you stay out of a parenting issue that don’t involve you. You dont know the full story and frankly its not your business they are his and her kids. Best he can do is get a parenting plan and order for child support and you keep out of it.
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Why is the girl friend asking about his ex not letting him see his kids .I think there is more behind this than meets the eye. Boy friend telling her this to make himself look good.If all is true them all he has to do is see his lawyer.
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He needs to take her to court and get court ordered visitation. He is their father and has as much rights to his kids as she does.Don’t waste time playing games with her.
Child support and visitation are totally different even he don’t pay he has rights to his kids. She is just greedy
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In Iowa, any money given is a gift if it doesn’t go through the courts. Get thee to a attorney mister, or just give your children the money and trust it will go where it’s needed. Good luck with that
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If he has legal visitation rights she can’t withhold the childrens’ visits. He needs to contact his divorce attorney or family court. She could be in big legal trouble for her actions.
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Even if he is behind in child support she cant use that to keep the children away from him it’s the law
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Stay out of it, and let him deal with it! You will only make it worse. What he does needs to be his and her decision. Period.
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He has to take her back to court. Document all the times she refuses to obey the child agreement. I have seen this happen for sooooo long. She uses the kids. They grow up, hit their teens, she can’t control them and wants the ex in their lives. The ex has moved on. It’s sad when it happens.
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Take his ex back to court. He has every right to see his children he should keep a calender of the days she refuses to let him see his children and when and why she insists she needs money. Keep going to court. Can’t afford attorney seek help through family courts document…document…document everything
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I can’t believe he hasn’t already checked with a lawyer, or family court or someone. If he’s paying child support, and has visitation written in the court documents, she shouldn’t be able to keep the kids from him.
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If he has court ordered visitation then there’s 2 things that he can do. 1. When she refuses to allow him to see the children he can get the authorities involved. 2. He can document everything that the ex is doing. Keep track of days, times, and detail what occurred. He can then file in Family Court a motion to enforce his court ordered parenting time. If visitation isn’t court ordered then he needs to file a motion for visitation or file for joint custody.
#HerSay
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My advice (take it or leave it): Don’t get involved. Find some other boyfriend who handles, by himself, whatever drama attempts to insert itself into his life and who wouldn’t dream of involving you in issues that developed long before you came on the scene. This is nothing but trouble — forever.
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If your boyfriend can’t see his kids and he pays child support. Call the child support office they will help him see his kids. My son went thru the same thing. The child support office called the sheriff and gave his Ex a talk with my son waiting in his car after that my son got to see his kids when he has to. The LAW is on his side if he calls child support office. Good men should see their kids.
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I don’t know what state you are in but I agree as a girlfriend probably not a good idea for you to get involved. He needs to go to family court. Unfortunately if he’s not paying child support it leaves a bitter taste in most moms mouth if that’s the case. He should not give her cash unless he just wants to be helpful but realize it won’t go towards child support if she has taken him to Dept of children services. Visitation is separate though from paying but showing you are a parent that has a safe and good environment for the kids is needed so when they don’t pay that comes into question.
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He needs to take her to court to tell the judge she won’t let him see his kids. If there us a court ordered plan for him to see his kids, and she is being difficult about it purposely, she can be in trouble for doing it. It sounds like she wanted total control.
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He needs to communicate ONLY through a parenting app…that way the record is saved and available if a legal action is taken. Speak to legal aid in your area or consult an attorney if he can afford it… he should not be giving her money beyond his legal amount unless it’s through the child support system.
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Don’t forget if she is texting her excuses make sure to take screen shots as proof.
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LAWYER UP!
And please think your involvement through. I’m speaking from step mom experience, getting involved will cause you soooooo much anxiety because there is ZERO you can do. Hopefully he has a custody order, he can file contempt of court if he wants to and document EVERYTHING. But he needs to do it. Not you.
I’m sorry you’re hurting because he’s hurting but again, zero control in this situation.
Many prayers and blessings for you and your family
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I’m wondering why he hasn’t seeked out an attorney for abuse of his visitation rights? Forget dealing with the ex- lawyer up- let the lawyers set a plan and if she doesn’t comply- there will be consequences
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It’s really none of your business but—have him talk to a mediator or his lawyer she cannot keep those kids from him. Even if he wasn’t paying child support he still has the right to see his kids. He’s just gonna have to stand up to her .
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My son going thru the same situation, he paying child support n she try to keep the kids away from him, get parenting thru the court and fight for his right as father, my son had to do it on his own without a lawyer, he did alot of research n study the how the law works, now he get the kids every other weekends n some holidays n summer, tell him to keep every receipt what he buys for the kids, n she want money, give her in money order that way way he keep track how much he give her n also how much his child support is, that what my son use in court, wish you both the best n good luck
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Attorney. She must be in violation of their court-determined parenting agreement. If they are unable to agree on visitation then if reverts back to what was determined in the final arrangement. If she is in violation, he needs to notify the authorities and get back with his attorney.
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You need to stay out of it and let him handle it. If he needs advice he should ask a lawyer, not you or FB land.
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Is there court ordered visitation and child support. If not, then he’s kind if SOL. If so, then he needs to talk to the lawyer. She CANT be demanding more money if he’s already paying and she can’t use that as a reason he can’t see them. If she’s planning on stuff on HIS visitation the SHE is putting herself in contempt
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You being his girlfriend of only six months? I’d say stay out of it. Do you guys live together? Do you know both sides of the story or just his?
I keep my kids from their dad who is toxic and a drug abuser. He has physically hurt me in front of them. Pulled the ebrake in my car with all the kids in it for no reason. He had a strangulation charge from him strangling me cause he didnt get his way. He threatened to take my kids away if I didnt let him have his family. There is always more to the story then what is being led on.
Is there a custody agreement by the court in place? Does he pay child support? He can always go to court and say she is in contempt of he legally has visitation rights. Otherwise all he can do is hire an attorney and fight it in court for set visitations. Best of luck.
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He needs to take her to court. If he is giving her money on top of child support then he should do money order/cashiers check. He need to do this with ur support, and if he doesn’t do this this with ur support then ull be along for a though ride of taking care of his business. I dont mean that to be rude if it sounds that way. Good luck
I would get a lawyer and go to court and get some kind of custody in agreement and if she doesn’t abide by it then she can get in trouble .
He needs to take her to court and a visitation schedule. If on his day he goes to pick them up and she refuses, call the cops and them your court order. Don’t allow her to keep his girls from him.
I hate parents that do this she is hurting her girls . Go see someone and get shared custody. And never give extra money
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Is there a custody order? Or a child support order? If there is a child support order and are through maintenance enforcement she shouldn’t be asking for more money. Also if it is through maintenance enforcement, there is a place to put the money he directly gave her in it I do believe
Sounds like he needs to take her to court and get mandatory visits. He could try to get custody of them as well.
Geez, call the cops. If there is court ordered visitation, go to the children’s home on the appropriate day and if mom won’t release them you call the cops. The cops will enforce the court order.
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Document everything. Get a Debit Card for each child. Every time she says “No” or wants money, put it on the cards. Money trail. Document all contact. Go to court. I really despise women like that. Put your emotions to the side and lwt your children be happy.
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Yes, time to go to the courts. There should have been a parenting plan in place to begin with then they would both know what their schedule is when it comes to time with the kids. Maybe they didnt have one, I dont know but that seems to be the norm. Sometimes it has to be enforced by the courts though to make it work. Sad, because it is the kids as well as the other parent that hurt. It aint right!
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He needs to get a court ordered visitation rights. He cannot withhold child support even though she won’t let him see them but he can go to court and get visatation rights
Cart stand mothers who do that its not fear on the kids and its not there fault so wry should they suffer seems to me she wants him back …good luck
Write it all down. Send a letter to the court each and every time he is denied his visitation. She would be in contempt of the Court order for any reason other than the kids were extremely ill, he was under the influence of something when he went to get them or it was outside his scheduled time with them. Money is not a reason for denial of time. He needs to let the court know and she will have to answer to them.
Hire a lawyer & document in writing every interaction with her. Child support & visitation are different issues.
Child support and visitation are two separate issues. If there is a support order, he has to pay it… She can’t just ASK for more money…if there is a visitation schedule she isn’t following, it is against the law.
He needs an attorney and SHE needs to grow the fuck up.
If the court has ordered visitation then she is in contempt of court. Child support and visitation are 2 different areas. The attorney General can enforce child support, you need a lawyer to handle visitation. She can be fined, jailed and in a lot of trouble if in contempt.
Document document document. Video also helps both sides. Take it to court, and both parents need to be the best version of themself and dont put down the other parent in earshot of the kids. As the gf/ significant other it is not your role to get involved in their parenting issues, but discuss your feelings in a healthy way with the father. It is his responsibility to take actions to help facilitate contact and time with his children
I would suggest taking the mom to court. The kids should always come first desire any feelings towards the other parent
He needs a lawyer. Take her to court to honor whatever visitation was ordered.
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Take her to court and keep a diary of everything money, when she refuses to let him see them . Documenting !!!
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Keep a journal, video/recordings & seek counsel to go to court. This is a form of child abuse. Kids are not property!
Sometimes going to court want get you nothing mine was a totally different thing I got a divorce because he was a drunk a good way maker but went to strip bars and took drugs was very mean to our children but we AndBusiness
Has he gone to court? What is wrong with him that he doesn’t? He needs to document everything, text only and get her for contempt. If he really truly wants to see them he’ll get it in writing, and drag her sorry bottom to court.
Best advice: let than man sort his situation out by himself. This has nothing to do with you. He has the courts to act as a mediator, don’t get involved.
He needs to document every time she refuses him to let him see his kids then take this to his lawyer and seek custody of his girls or at least a firm visitation schedule
Document document…date times excuses! Extra money given. Like the ladies said should be visitation schedule in custody agreement. He needs to get an attorney. Best of luck
Honestly went through the same situation. He has to go to court. Get the custody agreement in writing. They’ll have to go to mediation and decide together what days times etc. the judge will want them to figure it out first, if not then they’ll have to go to the judge. But ya good luck. It’s a pain, but it gets easier.
If he has papers showing his visitations all he needs to do is go to pick up his kids with his papers …call sheriff if there’s an issue…too many of my family and friends have been through this…papers are proof
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Get a court order and have her bring them to police station and meet her there. If she does not show he can have police enforce.
Take her to court is my best advice. Document even single time she doesn’t allow him his visitation.
Take her back to court and have them enforce the visitation guidelines. If the judge orders it and she refuses then can get her for contempt of court and some cases people have needed the police to enforce the court order. As you being the gf you can’t get involved but he can definitely take her back to court so he can get his visitation rights, also she can not use the kids to get more money, judges don’t like it when their orders are ignored or a custodial parent tries to use the kids for leverage and refuse visitation. Look up your state laws on his rights as a non custodial parent
Tell him to keep any and all types of money transactions outside of child support for evidence. If they talk on the phone record conversations and save text messages and take her to court, if he’s serious bc that may help him. As his girlfriend of only 6 month, you shouldn’t get involved bc it could be more to the story than he’s telling you, 3 years is a very long time for him not to see his kids, and for him not to take any action against it. Honestly if I was him I’d stop paying her anything outside of child support, bc at this point she’s using him for monetary gain. Not only that he’s STILL not being allowed to see his children, if they were married, they should divorce decree and a visitation schedule set up. If not, tell him to file for full or joint custody, since she doesn’t want to do so without courts being involved
He needs to take her back to court and make sure he has documented each payment. He should never pay her in cash. No paper trail.
Time to hire a lawyer! I absolutely hate it when one of the parents uses the children as pawns! It may satisfy the parent but it does major damage to the children!
Get to court! She can’t do that if they share custody. She also can’t blackmail for more $ if they have child support agreement
Take her to family court ! Document all money given to her . Get receipts for any money given to her or spent on the kids . Document every time she denies him seeing them and why. Document everything
He needs to take her to court. He needs a journal to write all the missed visits and money order receipts showing he is giving her extra money
When they set up child support he should have also set up custody guidelines…he can petention the court to let them know she is refusing and not living up to guidelines…but he needs to be documenting everything
Take her to court let judge talk to his girls and get back with their parent. Mostly judge will demanding to see their father
Get him a lawyer take it back to court, dont give her the money send it to child support then they will see he is paying it, and she pulls that crap take her to court they will make her let him have them when its hid time and if she don’t they will fine her
First I’d need to hear the other side of this story. Is he as he claims to be? If so then he may need to petition the court for visitation. Doesn’t she realize she’s hurting the kids doing that? Like I said if there’s a reason ok, but if he’s a good dad, then no. Time to stop being held hostage by her and talk to a lawyer. Good luck.
If they have a custody agreement thru the court and she isn’t following it and allowing him to have his kids when he’s supposed to take her back to court and bring the evidence
All these people on here saying just take her to court? Well im here to tell you its not that easy. Go hire a lawyer for 5000 and still get nothing done. If she dosen’t let him see the kids even if its through the court the police won’t do anything they tell you its a civil matter so take it to court. So you go pay the attorney more money you don’t have. Its so heart breaking that parents can keep the kids from the other. Like they own them.
Hopefully he is keeping receipts of the money he is giving her. He needs to take her to court . If it’s not court mandated that he pays her , maybe he needs to hold off until she lets him see them. Try playing her way.
Why are you asking and not him?? Sorry this is HIS situation HE needs to ask questions and do something to see HIS kids. STAY OUT OF IT.
Document everything!! What was said on what date, what the excuse was for missed visits and file for joint custody. If you can record the conversations then do so. We don’t know if its the ex, or him, or if you’re just trying to prove something. But with documentation, the court will see for themselves what is or isn’t being done. Good luck to all of you. Oh and one piece of advise: DONT EVER speak bad about their mother in front of them, because when they get older and understand things THEY will get to see everyone’s true colors and decide for themselves if they want a relationship with either one
If child support isn’t going through court they won’t recognize that as child support,if it is then get a lawyer and take her to court
You not the one st a loss, you cannot do anything but support. He gotta get some legal advice and get his rights back, end of story. He get busy and make it work.
It’s none of your business. You’ve only heard his side. That was his wife and their children.
She is in contempt of court. He doesn’t need a lawyer. He can just go to the court and file for visitation again. It’s probably about $74 to file.
Why don’t more people with kids know that child support and visitation/custody have nothing to do with eachother ya can’t keep kids from the other parent because of child support issues… Its 
the law
Attorney time. If there is a visitation schedule on file, he can take her to court. He should start recording conversations and texts reguarding seeing his kids. Kids should NEVER be used as leverage against a parent.
If he is not in arrears in child support, and there is a written agreement regarding custody and visitation, he could talk with human services fir help in enforcing the agreement. If no agree exists, he should get help petitioning the court for an agreement; and human services could be a good place to start.
Good luck. My husbands ex pulled this crap all of the time and the courts didn’t care. Spent tens of thousands of dollars.
Lawyer up go to family mediation. The court’s can force her to hand them over . They need to have all visits shared and documented. They may even send them to parenting classes,court ordered.