My boyfriends ex was invited to his family get together and I wasn't: Advice?

They may be good friends with her and didn’t want anything started if you met.

Your boyfriend needs to turn down the invite unless it extends to you as well. Family event or not the ex is no longer part of that and as a decent woman she should turn it down as well. I get they were together for a long time and friendships were formed but excluding you is not acceptable and since it is his family he needs to stand up for you and your relationship.

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If he goes you go or neither of you go. His family has to realize your in his life now not her.

Sounds like he still has feelings for her start looking for a replacement

Boyfriend needs to man up and let them know it’s unacceptable that you are being excluded, if this is going anywhere serious, he needs to put his foot down now.

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He shouldn’t go without you

If your boyfriend goes without you then you know where you stand with him and his family.

Maybe. You. Should. Have. Friend ly. Get. Together. With. Some one. From. Your. Past

My ex-husband’s new girlfriend was invited to his families get together. Oh wait, it’s because she’s his cousin!! :nauseated_face:

If he were a decent boyfriend he’d uninvite her or refuse to go. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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He shouldn’t want to go without you :woman_shrugging: and thats not a friend…your being played…

If some one invited either of you then assume the other is coming too. That’s how I roll

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Go anyway. And be super nice. And as you leave, tell his sister, “thanks for having me. It was a lovely event.” And if your boyfriend objects to you going, time to find a better boyfriend.

I would go. Either way he doesn’t have to bring her.

Your boyfriend should say no thanks to the invite and explain why. But I do see the sisters point. This ex has been a part of their family for 7 yrs and maybe they are great friends. Just because your boyfriend and her aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean she has to break up with the family too. It’s a crappy situation the sister has put everyone in tho.

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He could go without her or you going with him
.wtf

Nope. He better tell her your included or he better not show up to the event himself

Then he should not go either✌️

Go!!! Invite yourself… if you want to be a part of all of that.

Oh if it were I, my boyfriend better decline that invite and explain exactly y he isn’t going. That’s just rude.

If he attended without you… leave him.

If he is any kind of boyfriend he will fix it or not go himself.

Someone Is tying to start trouble, he shouldn’t go

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Dumb the boyfriend if he doesnt bring you with happily. :slight_smile:

Nope. If he isn’t standing up for you and if he is allowing this then he doesn’t respect you. He must be open to reuniting with his ex. It is emotional abuse for you to be excluded while the ex is with his family. I wouldn’t want to be in that family.

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I think your boyfriend should ask why you were excluded and if he intends to go. If everyone’s not in agreement than he should sit this one out. Our family is rather inclusive and this weekend I’m going to the family reunion of my ex-husbands family again. They always have invited me and my kids and grandkids will be there. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

You aren’t invited. It’s not your house. She’s known her for seven years so I’d say she’s allowed to go to her house if she was invited. You can’t tell his sister who she can and can’t invite. Obviously you’re both dating there’s no point for two invites.

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If he goes without you screw that find someone else you have been with him almost 1 year there is no way they should invite her instead of you .You should be included even if they have kids and that woul be the only trump card in this situation.

If he goes without you, it shows he has no respect for you.

I would not show and make plans with my new gf. And also tell my sister not to over step my boundaries

It’s ok to not be invited to things? Your bf is allowed to have his own identity.

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Move on if he decides to go.

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Show up with him. Simple.

Very insensitive! Hopefully your boyfriend takes you! If not, what else will you be left out of??? Could be a red flag.

Run. Run the other way!!!

What does the bf say?!

I would go apeeeee shittttt

Pardon my french Hell to the fuck nah sista

Guess he ain’t going :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Go with your boyfriend. Or maybe you and your boyfriend can go somewhere else together during that time.
Maybe it was a miss communication…
maybe not…

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriends ex was invited to his family get together and I wasn't: Advice?

I would not be okay with that. Talk to your bf and let him know about your feelings. He should not go if you aren’t invited especially if she will be there. Good luck!

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This situation is up to your boyfriend to handle he should be the one to put his foot down because that is not right I get inviting her because she was around for 7 years you know she’s made a bond with them and that’s okay to invite her as long as she’s not starting in trouble but it’s also okay to invite you as well as long as you’re not starting trouble

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Your boyfriend’s sister can have any friends she wants, and invite them to her house. This is mature adult life. If you think your boyfriend should either insist you are invited, or not attend himself that is a separate matter.

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It’s one thing for her to invite the ex, which is still disrespectful even if they are friends because she knows her brother has moved on to someone new and that you should be included as the current love interest. But it’s another that you were not invited at all. That’s wrong on many levels. I personally as the ex would not have showed up because no self respecting female will flaunt herself as the dumped old gf …and your boyfriend should have declined to show up if you weren’t included. It’s his job to protect you, it’s their job to respect his protection and wishes.

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You need to have the conversation with him now about that. If he has a backbone, he would put his foot down. If my ex was invited to my sisters event… I definitely would be saying something regardless. They shouldn’t be going anyways. That’s how I feel… they are done and moved on… if he doesn’t get a backbone… then I would leave him.

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I’d be pissed. Even as the host I thought this would be ackward both for your bf and the ex. I don’t know if it’s your place to say anything since the relationship is new, but I would talk about it with your bf.

7 years is a long time to not make friend and family bonds. Perhaps the new girlfriend is an assumed invite to be a plus one for her boyfriend to the family event and the ex was invited because of her long term relationship with his family making her essentially extended family. We do the same thing in my family where we “keep” long term relationship ex’s because just because they no longer date someone does not mean we shun them.

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Idk. I mean it depends how yalls relationship is. Maybe they assumed that you would be with him if they invited him cause yall are together. Probably rubbed off the wrong way since they personally invited his ex, but if I was to invite someone I’d expect their partner to come along too.

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So I’m not saying that you being excluded is right in any way shape or form but I’m curious what type of family event? If it’s a birthday party for a small child that grew up knowing the ex as aunt I can see why they invited her. It’s possible they were trying to avoid friction or drama by not including you. That said, it’s your boyfriend’s place to handle the situation. I wouldn’t make any demands of him though, as you’ve only been dating 6 months. Just sit down and tell him how this is making you feel.

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In my heart, I feel sadly, you already know what’s coming. This isn’t a relationship for you. It is so unfortunate, but objectively without even knowing you, just reading it, you are the rebound. That never works. He’s got to get this other woman out of his system, and you can bet on this as fact: for men who were in love with a woman, whether they break it off or the woman breaks it off, this is irrelevant. It will take a minimum of half the time they were together to fully be over her. That’s just how men are programmed. I’m 55 years old you can take that to the bank. I’m sorry. Tactfully bow out of any future family gatherings and keep the relationship light with your eye on the horizon for the right man to come along. He will—and his family will embrace you as his one and only true love. This too shall pass.:heart:

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Shame on him for not standing up to his sister: “either my current girlfriend goes, or I don’t go!”

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7 years WAS a VERY long time they were together and I understand the Sister cos she became like family to them.

That they are broken up does not mean they stopped seeing her as family and I really don’t think it’s personal that you were not invited…

When it gets down to it, YOU are an unknown here, girlfriend or not.

The best thing would be for your boyfriend NOT to attend the function so it saves you the heartache of “what if?”

Sounds like maybe your boyfriend don’t want you there. But then again some sisters can be like that. She have some type of loyalty to the ex, I mean she was around for 7 years.

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I don’t know what worse finding out they only invited the ex or like my current significant other and invites us all… :woman_shrugging:t2: I know you say you get it she was around for years but once he finds out she’s going im not aloud and we can’t go but he won’t stick up for me he would rather just let her go an exclude us.

He shouldn’t go with out you. Period. Its disrespectful of hin if he goes and allows hos family to do that.

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Honestly this falls on your boyfriend’s response. I understand lengthy relationships bond families even if they break up. That’s ok and she is still friends with his sister that’s ok too. His decision to go or not or how long he stays is the question… Even after a marriage breaks up there are times when the two will be at the same function. It is uncomfortable but doable. If he attends the event he should make it clear as he is leaving,that he needs to go and be with you. That you both have plans and in the future if you are not included he will need to not come. The ex plays a role in this too. Is she aware you are being excluded and if so how does she feel? She should not be ok with you being excluded if there’s no relationship she wants to save. She should set the sister straight or better yet. Say she can’t attend.

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Your boyfriend can’t be held accountable for the actions of his family. Either he can make a decision to take you with him or not or not even go. But whatever he decides should be an indication how he feels towards you. The sister might have a deeper connection with the ex that’s probably why the invitation wasn’t extended to you. However, you shouldn’t have been excluded unless there has already been conflict between you and the ex.

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I mean your boyfriend should have your back and say that was very uncool and they broke up for a reason, and that you are definitely coming along with him as his +1, or he won’t go at all. If he isn’t doing or saying any of these things, then I would drop him while it’s only been 6 months.:ok_hand:

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I wouldn’t put up with that at all. Stand your ground on this. My opinion if he loves you he will speak up for you.

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With you two only being together 6 months, I wouldn’t make a scene and make peoples opinion on you shift for the negative (even though you absolutely should!!)… your boyfriend should step up for you and say that it’s an issue and if you aren’t invited, that he will won’t be going. Do not have a child with this man, not yet until he knows how to handle his family.

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Well its her function so thats her right not to invite you if she doesn’t want to…with that said your boyfriend as your man should decline the invitation if he isn’t allow to attend with his current girlfriend.

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If you are his official girlfriend (past the dating level) then U have every right to feel how U do.

Talk to him / communicate your feelings and “argument “ over the situation.

The end result should be that he invites you and You go with him as his girlfriend.

There should be no issue for you to attend this event with him. As far as his ex girlfriend goes if the sister invited her then that’s really none of either of your business. It’s her prerogative. But you have every right to feel the way you do and express it. But the end results should be that he takes you to this event. It doesn’t matter if the sister didn’t invite you directly.

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Your boyfriend needs to handle this situation! You should bring it to the attention of how this bothers you.

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Schedule a nice manicure and pedicure and May be even a massage to enjoy time with yourself. This is a great opportunity to educate anyone involved how strong and confident you are. Let him have as many opportunity to reconnect with his ex-to proof to your self that their relationship is dead. If you get anxious every time they come together I am afraid you will grow insecure and very unhappy. Get comfortable with him with reservation but guard your heart in the process. You will know when to trust him 100%. Now is not the time. He is probably feeling pressure from sister/family to get back with his ex. Anything can happen. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

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If its like this now it will only get worse and for him to go with out is rude and im sry to say this but if you stay it wont be the first time your feeling are hurt

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Have you asked her if you were invited? Or ask your boyfriend to ask her? Maybe she just thought you guys were a package deal and since she invited him, already expected that he would bring you.
I would definently find that out first before jumping to any conclusion that she doesn’t want you there. You never know!

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Somebody that dealt with a boyfriend that’s family never really excepted me and my son as their own but accepted my exes exes kids that weren’t his, I’d get out of there. The family is clearly going to be a huge issue.

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My question is if it’s a family event why wouldn’t you just go with your boyfriend? Or was it specifically said that you are not to go? If it’s the 2nd then there would be a problem but if you were simply not given a personal invitation to go it could be because you’re still new to the family. As for her being invited I understand why she would be because she was around for 7 years but that’s a disrespectful thing to do to her brother and the new gf (you).

I understand the family may like the ex however she is an ex fiance for a reason. If he says to his family that they aren’t on speaking terms the family should not have invited her to the party. What kind of family still keeps in contact with someones ex. Unless they are a toxic bunch and don’t care about one another. Then the ex absolutely should not be coming to family get togethers. And really why would she agree to it. Cut ties move on with your life.
Has your boyfriend had a conversation with his family explaining how he feels? He needs to have that conversation. Also 6 months is not that long of dating. Personally neither you or the ex should be there

I personally would remove myself from the situation. The fact that you said she says she’s your friend tells me that they are all aware of your relationship and just does not give a damn. Yes she has had a bond with the ex fiance for 7 years but she was under no obligation to invite the ex. She could have told the ex that her brother was bring his current gf along and that she didn’t want to make things awkward by inviting her as she needs to create that bond with you now that she had with the ex fiance. Your bfs sister is being shady and I would watch out for her if I were you. My husbands ex wife does not get invited to any event in the family and they were married for 15 years. She also never visits his mother. They do speak on the phone and their kids are always invited to events but she knows her place and never shows up to anything except a funeral. I wouldn’t even bring it up if I were you just forget him and them. It’s been made clear where their loyalty lies.

Such is life dear, heal & move on… Families got that tendency of match making

He wouldnt go or he wouldnt be a boy friend he should stand up for you if not dont miss those red flags

Seems like the family are trying to match make your boyfriend and his ex… definitely something fishy going on there…

Get out! Plain and simple. He should know that you’re his girlfriend and they shouldn’t invite the ex-girlfriend.

He should handle this and tell the sister that he’s bringing you end of discussion, so disrespectful in many ways.

Your boyfriend needs to defend you. That’s shady as hell.

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If your boyfriend does go to that party he better take you with you, Period.

Boyfriend should have stood up for you and not went at All if you couldn’t

First thought…what the hell? But, try hard not to let her poor behavior transfer to trouble between you and your bf. How does he feel? Maybe he should sit this one out…just not go to the function.

Sis wants to submarine the new relationship …if your new boyfriend is OK with that… then it is time to get a new boyfriend.

Not ok. I’d show up or tell boyfriend not to go if you aren’t allowed to.

People say one thing n show you another. Boyfriend’s sister is not your friend!

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How was the invite given out? Word of mouth to your boyfriend? Who said you weren’t invited? Maybe they invited him and just assumed you would come knowing your together

Your his plus one and she is a guest with a plus one. You don’t have to be asked he should know your going with him . If not say bye bye

Why does HE say?? If he’s ok with it, girl, don’t waste your time!!

And he accepted the invite? That would be my issue.

I wasn’t invited to my fiancé’s (been together going on 4 years) sisters wedding. Which I was originally in & a month before she pulled me out after one drunk night of saying things we don’t remember. After the dress was bought. After I paid 2500$ for her caterer. We were very close friends which is why I felt betrayed. How could one night change this decision?! How could it trample our friendship we had been building for years?
I was upset. My fiancé was even more upset. He didn’t even want to attend the wedding. I pushed him to go. It’s a one time deal. That’s his sister. I would never make him choose even though his sister did. The way I look at it…. It’s her loss. If you and your bf stay together and end up getting married, then what? She going to exclude you from Christmas? I don’t think so. She’s the one that looks like an ass. Stay home. Stay strong. Be the bigger person. She’ll regret it one day. As far as the ex…. Do you trust your boyfriend? If so, he should be able to attend, un- disturbed. In my opinion. Prove to the family you’re not leaving the man you love. They’ll come around.

He needs to put his foot down. If you can’t go, he can’t either. That’s petty & childish ish.

Your man should kindly tell his family to fuck off if they can’t respect your place

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He needs to be a man and stand up for you, thats messed up!!

Well here you go: IF HE doesn’t put a stop to that, DUMP HIM AND RUN!!

I hope he doesn’t plan on going without you !!

talk to the bf and explain the situation and get him to ask his sister why the snub.

Do they have kids together? If so they may have invited her so they’re not alienated from their cousins. It sucks, but if his family is going to be petty you don’t want to be involved with them. You need to cut your losses because they’re going to see you as the outsider

All good advice but im available?

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Total bullshit. Your bf should have said no! Or he wasn’t going. Ugh!

Unless HE stands by you 100%, RUN… FAST & FAR!!! Speaking from 16 years of experience!

I mean, if that’s her friend, cool. But there’s no reason she couldn’t invite you as well. As a man, your boyfriend should have just brought you or not gone.

I would just go as his plus one.