My Boyfriend's Ex-Wife Hasn't Been Making Car Payments and It's Affecting His Credit (And Life): Advice?

Relationships
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QUESTION:

"Looking for advice: my boyfriend has been divorced for over two years now. In his divorce decree, they agreed that his ex-wife was to get the car and is responsible for the payments, debt, etc. (the car does have both his and her names on it.)

He’s told her to refinance and or sell the vehicle in the past, and she’s always told him she’d take care of it. The problem is that off and on over these two years, she keeps missing payments resulting in having late payments.

He just received a letter and found out it’s now four months straight of missed payments. This has been negatively affecting his credit and his spirits, and his life.

She doesn’t return his texts/calls whenever it’s about the car, so he’s beyond frustrated. Any tips would be appreciated. Thank you. Help."

RELATED QUESTION: What Should I Do About This Situation With My Boyfriend (Even Though Our Relationship Might Be Over)?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“Provide the divorce papers to the loan company and they will remove his name.”

“Since he gets the letter because his name is on the lease and whatnot, he needs to contact the finance company for a fax number or something to send them a copy of the divorce decree with the judge’s signature. Once they have that legal order, they will stop going after him. My dad had to do the same thing with his now ex-wife.”

“Why are so many being so rude? Technically it isn’t her business BUT maybe he doesn’t know what to do and ask her. Have him contact an attorney that did his divorce and ask for advice. That would be your best bet. Also, call the company and show the decree, though this may not help but worth the try.”

“If that man didn’t wife you don’t waste your time concerning yourself with his financial affairs.”

“Wow, some of y’all are nasty and rude. No, technically it’s not her problem to resolve, and maybe I missed where she said she called her. But I don’t see how getting some insight or advice from others on how to navigate or resolve the issue is so wrong. I’ve had a similar situation and no I never said anything to the ex about the problem, but I was listening to my S.O. rant about it. I did my best to be supportive and interject my opinion as needed. So, yeah it is her business. It’s clearly affecting her life and trying to find some reasonable solution to help the spouse seems completely reasonable to me. To the OP, I would definitely have him contact the divorce attorney and get a court order to force a refinance or selling of the car. The attorney can most likely advise him on how to rectify this problem with the credit bureaus. Good luck!”

“People can live together for 80 years and never be married so it may affect her (the girlfriend) and their living. He should contact a lawyer again and deal with the ex.”

“If there is a court order, that sounds like contempt on her part. I would contact the courts.”

“If she was supposed to get the car, take overpayments, and be responsible for the debt then it should have been transferred into her name as soon as the ink was dry on the divorce paperwork. He needs to contact the attorney who took care of the divorce and see if he can force the transfer or the sale of the car to clear the debt.”

“I would have him send the finance company the divorce decree. Most likely he will have to take her back to court because his name is still on the paperwork and they did not have it put in her name only. So due to that, he may still be responsible. I hope it works out.”

“Court papers really mean nothing to these companies. He needs to take her to court. Report it stolen if you have to. He needs to have his name removed asap!”

“The same thing happened to me and the creditor was calling me for the payments because they couldn’t find him. He was screwing up my credit so in return I told the creditor where he was located and told them to stop calling me because I didn’t have the car. I said, go get the car I don’t care if he has no wheels!!!”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

39 Likes
2

Since he gets the letter because his name is on the lease and whatnot, he needs to contact the finance company for a fax number or something to send them a copy of the divorce decree with the judge’s signature. Once they have that legal order, they will stop going after him. My dad had to do the same thing with his now ex-wife.

24 Likes
3

Provide the divorce papers to the loan company and they will remove his name.

10 Likes
4

You’re the girlfriend not the wife…not your concern.

24 Likes
5

Sounds like a trip back to court. Not following the divorce papers

2 Likes
6

Send the finance company the divorce decree this shouldve been done two years ago

8 Likes
7

I would have him send the finance company the divorce decree. Most likely he will have to take her back to court because his name is still on the paperwork and they did not have it put in her name only. So due to that he may still be responsible. I hope it works out.

1 Like
8

Same thing happened to me!! I just had to pay the car and report it stolen because he refused to give it back. It ruined my credit and I got tons of tickets. I’m still cleaning up the mess! Is just a horrible situation.

9

Providing divorce papers to the loan company as some have suggested doesn’t always work. In Washington state, the other party has to refinance the vehicle in their name which they don’t always qualify for and courts can’t “make” the loan company/financial institution do that. I worked for a credit union for a long time and also experienced the same thing during my divorce. Court is probably your best option.

1 Like
10

We went through this. We just sent in the divorce decree as the judge gave her the car but was responsible for the payments even though his name was on it. During court it was noted that she didn’t have the credit to get it in her name only and she couldn’t buy it outright. So the judge told her to sell it or make payments and it was her choice but he was not responsible for it. Once we sent in the paperwork with the judge’s signature, she was 4 months behind so they went and got the car and they finally took it off his credit and it went to hers. Just take or fax it in to the finance company, they will get it sorted out :slight_smile:

11

He needs to send documentation to the lender showing that she is responsible financially for the vehicle.

2 Likes
12

I would just have him submit copies of the divorce papers to the financial company and go forward with trying to remove his name off of the car completely

13

I was in slightly the same situation but different. My car at the time of divorce was in my ex husbands name but my name wasn’t on it at all . In our paperwork it said I was to be able to keep that car and be responsible for Payments, insurance, and up keep. It didn’t say that I had any sort of time frame to put the car in my name. It only said he was to sign any necessary paperwork to switch it into my name if and when it was presented. The car however was super upside down compared to what was owed and what it was worth so it was kind of impossible for me to do anything about. My ex would pick fights with me constantly over doing something about it and started threatening to take me to court. When we consulted with lawyers three different lawyers told me last week if we dropped it off at his house and left the keys there was nothing that could be done because I was no where on the loan and In the banks eyes he was responsible for it. Told me tell him to bring it on. I however didn’t want that fight. Not worth the ruin it would cause in our coparent relationship so I traded it and we took a couple thousand dollars worth of debt into our new car loan. :woman_shrugging:t2: is what it is. Someone has to be the bigger adult for the kids.

14

Motion for contempt - request that car be refinanced or sold in 30 days.

1 Like
15

You can have it repo we had to do it to my son and it was taken out of his check every week he only had to pay one hundred a month and couldn’t cause he wanted drugs more

1 Like
16

Show the car company the divorce papers and go back to court

1 Like
17

He’s going to have to take it back to court

18

Court papers really mean nothing to these companies. He needs to take her to court. Report it stolen if you have to. He needs to have his name removed asap!

2 Likes
19

I’ve been in the exact position, my x husband stop paying for the vehicle back in December!! I told the bank about the divorce decree and him wanting to keep it, unfortunately it doesn’t matter! They made the agreement with the bank together and irregardless of the divorce the bank will still hold your bf responsible… sorry I’m sol as well! He has the car almost a year not paying and has not turned it back in, of course he’s just being petty but I have a no contact order against him so I can’t just call… :woman_facepalming:t2: :woman_shrugging:t2:it’s annoying!!!

20

Have to go to small claims court and fight to have his name taken off the loan or that she is solely responsible.

21

He’s still responsible. Have the car towed and do a voluntary surrender

1 Like
22

Take the car and sell it.

23

Contact the finance company and show them a copy of the divorce decree where it states that she is responsible

24

Go to loan office who ever carries the loan show proof of court judgement that will settle it

1 Like
25

He should show the divorce agreements from court to the car finance company

1 Like
26

If there is a court order, that sounds like contempt on her part. I would contact the courts

4 Likes
27

If he has kids with her maybe he should address her financially struggling?

2 Likes
28

Had this issue with my ex… not much you can do… he can take her back to court… request that either she catch up.on the payments and continue to stay on top of them or give the car to hom to either make his own payments or have it voluntary repo or whatever he wants to do.

29

I worked for a big lender and this was a thing that happened often. Unfortunately a divorce decree doesn’t trump a legal binding contract. You can take your ex back to court but that still won’t make them pay. It was a Civil issue and we couldn’t get involved in it.

30

He can go back to court and they will find her in contempt.

1 Like
31

Take the court papers up the the dealer ship and have his name took off the car.

6 Likes
32

Get a new Boyfriend :hugs:

3 Likes
33

He needs to take her back to court. They can force her to refinance or sell it or give it back to your boyfriend due to missed payments. I had to do the same with my house. I was able to refinance. The longer she puts it off the less likely she’ll qualify for a refi. Santander works with low credit scores. Also contact the finance company and give them a copy of the divorce decree. It doesn’t always work, but sometimes does. Because it was a binding contract when they signed the loan papers. My ex also let his car go back. When applying for credit I had to show my divorce decree to show it wasn’t my responsibility technically. I also used a credit repair company to have it removed eventually. Its a process. Divorce is never clean.

1 Like
34

I have the same thing happened to me she isn’t contempt of court I had to take my divorce degree to the finance company and get my name removed from it unfortunately I still had to take the bad credit marks but they told me it would have been a lot worse if I would have done this. Plus the state would not let me take my name off the title until the Lean was released

35

He would have to take her to small claims court. Even though it was given to her in the divorce decree . He is still liable for the loan. The lender that made the loan will go after whomever they wish. He can either pay the past due amount to save his credit and sue her in small claims.

36

If it’s stipulated in the divorce papers then he has to get a copy of that sent over and have his name removed from their files.

37

First of all you need to grasp the concept that it’s his problem with his ex. Not yours. Unless the 2 of you get married it doesn’t affect you. As the girlfriend “we” didn’t receive a letter HE recieved a letter. He needs to grow up, put his big boy pants on & learn to deal with his problems. I get it. As women our instinct is take care of others & solve problems. I’ve been there. I’m older now. I realize I was being used. Don’t be his mommy. If he can’t solve his own problems dump him. Look for a grown up to partner with. Not a little boy who needs you to take care of him.

22 Likes
38

If that man didn’t wife you dont waste your time concerning yourself with his financial affairs.

8 Likes
39

If he has it in the divorce decree that his name was supposed to come off then he can take her to court, if not your sol

40

If the car was her responsibility when they broke up, he should’ve taken his name off of the car. His fault lmao.

1 Like
41

He can contact the credit companies send a copy of the divorce papers saying she was solely responsible for the debt and have his name removed from the papers. He can also report to the credit bureaus that the debt is not his and also send them a copy of the divorce papers.

3 Likes
42

Same thing happened to me and the creditor was calling me for the payments because they couldn’t find him. He was screwing up my credit so in return I told the creditor where he was located and told them to stop calling me because I didn’t have the car. I said, go get the car I don’t care if he has no wheels!!!

1 Like
43

Take her back to court, she’s had plenty of time to get the car out of his name.

1 Like
44

Maybe call the attorney he used for divorce and let them know she’s not following what the agreement states & to see if he can get the car now

3 Likes
45

Ummm it isn’t your business really…unless you are paying his bills…i would be a girlfriend and stay out of his business between divorce…js

4 Likes
46

dont get involved …

1 Like
47

Or take over the car and payments and sell it.

1 Like
48

Why are so many being so rude? Technically it isn’t her business BUT maybe he doesn’t know what to do and ask her. Have him contact an attorney that did his divorce and ask advice. That would be your best bet. Also call the company and show the decree, though this may not help but worth the try

8 Likes
49

Can he financially afford the car? I’d got get it and either pay it myself, or go get it and do a voluntary surrender to whoever he got the car from.

1 Like
50

Idk why so many people are being like nOnE oF yOuR bUiSnEsS :joy: if you guys are in a relationship or living together or building towards that his credit and shit matters? Tf?

51

People can live together for 80 years and never be married so it may affect her ( the girlfriend) and their living. He should contact a lawyer again and deal with the ex.

5 Likes
52

Its his probland .let him work it out.

53

Yall are being so rude. :joy:

2 Likes
54

Mind your business lmao

1 Like
55

That’s between him and her :rofl::rofl:

1 Like
56

Its 3rd parties like these that create bad tension between 2 people who got a peaceful civilised divorce !

1 Like
57

He needs to take her you court

2 Likes
58

If she was supposed to get the car, take over payments and be responsible for the debt then it should have been transferred into her name as soon as the ink was dry on the divorce paperwork. He needs to contact the attorney who took care of the divorce and see if he can force the transfer or the sale of the car to clear the debt.

3 Likes
59

That should have been fixed in the divorce. I’m sorry that is happening.

1 Like
60

Maybe she is struggling. He can probably get his name removed from the title. Not to be rude, but he’s a big boy and should be able to handle the issues with his ex wife without current girlfriend interference.

10 Likes
61

If it’s in the court order then it’s contempt of court and he can hire a lawyer to help take care of the issue

4 Likes
62

You’re not gonna like this but my best advice is to mind your business on this. Let this be something he works out with her. You shouldn’t get involved. She can be in hot water for not following court order

2 Likes
63

The best thing to do is for him to contact his attorney. He most likely will be ordered possession of the car and be liable to catch up on the payments himself.

6 Likes
64

Have him get all records of contact, reports of late bills, etc and take her back to court. Get her to either get his name off, or give the car over.

65

Take her to small claims court

66

Take her back to court

67

See if he can take a copy of the decree to the financial institute and have his name removed

3 Likes
68

Did a judge give her the car in the divorce or is that a agrement between them 2 because if it was by a judge he can show the paper work to the car comp but if it was just an agrement brtween the 2 hes screwed never do anything without a written piece if paper

69

Take his name off that car shes using him she is irresponsible and is making your partner pay for it i would look into seeing if theres a way she can be forced to pay for it?

70

That’s why I wouldn’t mess with married men

71

Contact the lawyer that handled their case.

72

If his name is on loan, she could trade it in & continue to use his credit…lawyer needs to get involved!!!

1 Like
73

Find out what he has to do to get his name off the paperwork that way if it gets repoed it won’t affect his credit

74

He can take that back to divorce court and have her ordered to refinance or give it to him

1 Like
75

Contempt of court order if it was in the divorce decree.

1 Like
76

Wait, it will get repossessed. Yeah your boyfriends credit will take a hit, but it will be the end of it

77

Send a copy of the divorce where she hit the car and is responsible for the payments to the loan company. It might help

78

Same happened to me…my ex husband got the car repossessed when I warned him that would happen and I told him every month to pay it because it still had my name on it. Kia said that despite the divorce decree stating who is responsible for which vehicle, since both our names were on it we are both legally responsible. Yes it’s on my credit and he hasn’t paid a time. It’s an awful crappy situation but there’s nothing I can do because I’m not paying the $12k he owes.

79

He’s going to have to take her or send a certified copy to whomever she’s financed the vehicle through, and go sit down with her and have the financial responsibility moved to her name solely. They won’t do anything until the payments are caught up, the contract being signed is a sealed deal. Sounds like he’s got some work to do

5 Likes
80

It’s in the divorce degree n in it says I guess she needs to refinance the car which it should yet says she is liable for everything . If he went back to court she be liable
For all lawyers fees on how n her so she really lose so tell her that I know years ago it’s was how things went n should today as well

1 Like
81

It was considered marital property and he should have taken care of that during the divorce, by having it refinanced in her name, or selling the vehicle so his name can get off the title.

3 Likes
82

Take her to court. He can not just take his name off the loan unless he pays off the entire balance then who gets the pink slip? If she has arrears, rest-assured his credit is already tainted. Too bad. Put it in the hands of the Judge. Small claims court should be able to handle it.

1 Like
83

Go back to court & have the car put in her name only. Since she has late & missed payments they will do that.

3 Likes
84

If she got the car in the divorce and it is in the division of assets, he needs to send the people holding the deed a copy. And the credit bureau. He is in no way responsible. Had to do this myself.

4 Likes
85

I had this issue with my ex and the apartment we shared. The leasing office wouldn’t allow me to take my name off since it was a lease. We agreed in the divorce he would live there and pay. He never paid and got evicted. It stayed on my credit. Even though I had the divorce papers, that was agreement between us and the courts, not the apartment complex.

86

If it’s already negatively affecting his credit just quit paying on it and let it be repossessed and he can start rebuilding his credit without her. If the judge said he doesn’t have to then don’t.

3 Likes
87

Did he tell her or was it granted in the Judgment you might not be getting all of the information. If the judge did not Grant for her to take over payments then it is on him as well. He cannot tell her anything it’s up to the judge and if it was not pursuant to a court order then it’s just too bad so sad somebody needs to take up the payments take over the car and it looks like you are in the clinker for it with your man

5 Likes
88

He needs an attorney to find what he can and cannot do. Take it back before the judge. All our opinions are just that opinions.

2 Likes
89

Have the bank pick up the car … unfortunately he is responsible if he is on the loan and no way the bank will refinance if she is in arrears. I saw quite a few people think a judgement took their financial responsibility away and it just is not true … I have even seen people do a quit claim deed on their homes and then are shocked when the house is foreclosed on and they are still responsible for the debt and they had signed away property rights! :woman_facepalming:

1 Like
90

This happened to me with a mortgage I quit claimed the house to my ex but I stayed on the mortgage until he sold years later. In my case he paid b7t that was on my credit report and all his addresses followed me to the point I could not pass security questions. It was a mess. He may have to go back to court and split the liability at this point.

91

She is in contempt of court if she is not following the divorce decree. He can take her back to court and should be able to file the paperwork himself if he can’t afford an attorney. The court can order her to refinance the car in her name only. It may help for him to provide a copy of the divorce decree showing that she is responsible to the lender. That varies from state to state/ finance company.

1 Like
92

I have worked for car companies and if he cosigned the loan, then his divorce decree is irrelevant to them and the financing. He has to go back to court. He can force a refinance to get his name off.

5 Likes
93

File for attempt of court The judge should tell her if she doesn’t get it paid he would put her in jail and maybe you can get the car back

94

The problem is that if the loan is in his name, and she defaults on it, even if it’s in the divorce agreement, he’s still legally responsible. That’s just wrong. Laws need to be changed.

3 Likes
95

He needs to look at his divorce decree, if it states in the divorce decree that she has to pay the payments and it states that it’s her responsibility then he needs to take her back to court

5 Likes
96

I had this issue along with other debt and had to take my ex back to court. The judge awarded me money for the debt he owed along with interest.

97

It doesn’t matter who’s name is on the title… if car loan was or is in both names the bad or good credit will show up on both their credit what he should have done was to have her refinance the loan into her name only that way his credit would not be affected… The only thing for him to do now is 1. Talk to his lawyer explain what has happened and see if there is any way to clear his credit or 2. Call the finance company explain to them what is happening see if there is something they can do maybe he could buy the loan from the finance company then repossess the car from her…

1 Like
98

Talk to the finance company and send them a copy of judges verdict and tell them that you want your name off the loan. Have them contact her because legally it is her responsibility

99

Get a copy of the divorce decree stating that she is responsible for the payments and get a copy sent to the lender.

4 Likes
100

Take her back to court. She should have taken his name off when they got divorced. If she didn’t then she needs to be penalized and held responsible for the car payments

3 Likes