When I was 14 I was doing the same damn thing and I look at my almost 12 year old daughter and pray she makes better choices. I know this will get me bashed but maybe buy him some condoms. They are going to find a way regardless unless you send him away to a damn boot camp. Tell him to only smoke in your back yard at night and never leave the house with weed on Him. Maybe by allowing him to still be rebellious in a cautious way will keep him from going to the extremes. Honestly if it was my kid I wouldnāt know what to do but try to communicate. I feel the more strict you can be the more rebellion they will give you. Good luck
My parents locked me out, took everything I owned away minus my bedding and clothes and I had to earn it all back
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I would have a talk with her parents. See if sheās on birth control. I know itās hard to control them at this age! My daughter will be 15 on the 20th and I have her on the depo shot. Itās good to be proactive and try to have open conversations about anything. I know itās hard for them to talk to you about it, especially a son probablyā¦mine just turned 10 so weāre not there yet, but I hope he comes to me about these things. Thereās also Dad to help with these talks. Hope things get better!
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Follow him when he sneaks out to see where heās goingš¤·š»āāļø Iām nosy thatās what I would do. And then deal with it accordingly
Get an alarm system and donāt give him the code. That is if an honest conversation doesnāt work.
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I put the fear in my oldest boys. I was very clear about what unprotected sex may lead to. Kids, baby mama drama, STDs, and the financial burden of all of it. We scoured the internet for the worst possible stories and images. As explicit as it may be, neither had children under my roof. As for sneaking out itself, I was open to allowing their girlfriends to visit in my presence. But overall I put the fear in them. Probably not the best parenting advice but it worked for me. 
Talk to him and make it clear how you feel and then itās on him he knows right from wrong
Yeah I agree with everyone, do not wait for the hard lesson of consequences, because ultimately that means that it will fall on you because he himself is still a child.
I would definitely contact the girlfriends parents and let them know what is going on and honestly an alarm would be beneficial at this point. And he doesnāt get a code.
A family counselor that I have worked with for a while talks about turning their world upside down. Empty his room. All he can have is a mattress, blanket and pillow. No more fun stuff no phone, no TV no computer no games. Slowly, the longer he continues to make good choices and show you that he can be trusted again he can begin to earn those things back. I know it sounds extreme but it really works, but you have to stick with it
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Maybe supervised visits? His girlfriend can come over during reasonable times/cwrtain days while youāre home.
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Ah the terrible teen years with boys & hormones. Been there & done that. Hold on itās a ride 
My parents put a screw in my window and put a door alarm on my door so when I opened it it would wake them so they could see what I was doing
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Iād be calling her parents. Yāall got to work together. Get locks for the windows he canāt unlock. Same with the door.
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I have a 15 yr old and heās also an awesome kid but I donāt really have any advice for u because Iām not going through that and never have but I will say I have always talked to my son about everything and he truts me. Maybe talk to him and let him know how u feel and ure only looking out for him. Being too strict wonāt get u nowhere and might even make things worse. I hope u can get him to understand soon. hugs
My parents called the cops on me When i got out when i came back a cop showed up and i had to ride in the patty wagon and kept me at some place for some kids they couldnt keep me but my parents didnt even feed me when they picked me up. I never snuck out again i to was 14
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Iād be getting alarms put on the doors and windows.
Life 360 app on his phone can help you locate him at all times!
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Make him sleep on a pallet on the floor next to your bed 
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Alarm system he doesnāt have password to and absolutely call her parents. Work together for them, I would want to know if my daughter was sneaking out with her boyfriend and would hope if her boyfriends family knew they would contact me and we could handle it together
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You beat his ass is what you do!!!
Talk to him and her about birth control, trust him more, instead of keeping him away from her maybe invite her around, they are already being sexually active you wonāt stop it or prevent it, just support them to do it safely and in a safe environment? At least if they are together at your house you know heās safe
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from a teenager point of view. smoking marijuana: heās gonna do it heās a teenager heās gonna make mistakes so maybe for that you could probably make sure he only goes to friends houses that you can trust and for the sneaking out i would ground him
Get those alarms that will go off when he opens the window or door
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Screw his windows shut.
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Yep, time to put alarms on all doors and windows and catch him in the act. You can do all the convos and consequences you want, but as previous rebellious teens we know that doesnāt always work
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Try having her over. Talk with her parents. Shit put alarms on all the windows and doors if its that bad. My mom sent me away when I acted up. Didnt even give me a chance to explain. Did I act up Ever again. Yes. But only once.
I have cameras on my front and back door and front porch that notify us if someone walks up or leaves and you can get alarms to put on windows too
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i would talk to her parents and def look in a security system w cameras
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Yāall lucky my door came off the hinges 
.
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Door and window alarms. If those donāt work Iād be making his hind-end sleep on a pallet on the floor in your room, and not let him have his electronics for quite sometime.
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I would definitely do the alarms people are suggesting. Although tempting to lock them in I would be afraid incase of a fire/ emergency. At least with the alarm youād know.
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Put alarms in all windows and doors and donāt let him know the code. Screw his bedroom window shut. Also take his door off of the hinges.
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Many will probably disagree. But maybe just tell him why you are worried about him sneaking out(kidnapping, killed or even pregnancy) then tell him that his hormones and sexuality is normal but he needs to express it in a safe way. Maybe invite her over more often and let them have during the day time 
this is hard because he is only 14. Just know that when my parents took my boyfriend away it made it worse. Good luck mom!
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Honestly, I tell my son to use the front door and inform me of exactly where heās going and with who and he must always answer the phone for me. Iād rather know is whereabouts and know I trust him then to be galavanting around behind my back. I donāt condone that behavior at all. But Iād rather know where he is.
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Nail his windows shut
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My mother nailed my window shut
Bring the new āenemyā closer. Invite the new girlfriend to spend lots of time at your house. Take her for a mani/pedi and talk to her about safe sex.
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Make him sleep in your room until he starts acting right.
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Give him one of those fake babies to take care of. That cries & needs itās diaper changed. I got it from a class in high school or middle school, I canāt remember. That thing scared me straight for a few years.
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My mom had door/window alarms for me, but I would just crack a window hours before so the alarm already sounded and was forgotten about by night time- that being said lol get the door/window alarms and check everything RIGHT before bed. Problem should be solved. Good luck mama 
This post makes me sad. Being a parent is hard. I feel for you, my only son is 10. And I just canāt imagine my baby doing crazy shit we did so young. Even if theyāre good kids, i was a great kid and did many things I regret. And made dumb decisions. So it seems almost inevitable. Which really sucks. U donāt wanna seem like youāre enabling them but at the same time know that a leash wonāt help either. This is sticky. I say have regular conversations with him about how u feel and your hopes for him. And give him space to be honest too about about heās sneaking out. Come to a compromise and enforce the notion of safety and respect. Whooping our kids ass and taking their stuff never really works. As much as we hope lol. It doesnāt. But yall gotta have that clear line of communication and respect. On both ends. Ask him what he needs
Talk to the girls parents
Time for a family road trip to that lil girls parents house
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My parents bolted my bedroom window shut
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I was him at that age. Talk to him and her openly and honestly and try to set some boundaries together. Being stricter is only going to make the situation worse. But you donāt want to give them free range either
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Alarms will help and so will a police office visit. Take him straight to the station and let them explain what happens or could happen. Iād also get in touch with the girls parents. Or something else, act stupid, like you donāt know heās going to sneak out one night. Then you follow him quietly and find out where heās going. That may be harder to do but Iād do it and then when I seen where he went #1 Iād knock on the door and surprise that ass with a good butt whipping all the way home. #2 find out where heās going and have the cops go there with you. #3 whoop that ass!
I would talk to her parents about getting her on birth control.
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I had a daughter that would sneak out all the time. I wish I had tied her to her bed. She later got into drugs and now she is dead. Crackdown on those kids now when theyāre young cameras might do some good but you need to talk to him about his future and what can happen. Kids donāt know what theyāre doing wrong unless you sit them down and explain to them what they are doing wrong and what can happen to them
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put bars on the outside of the window nd lock his bed room door from the outside so he cant get out of the house he wants to go against rules. then he can face the consequences
cheap door/window alarms at home depot. theyāre white and thereās a skinny slim side and a rectangle side and if they become separated from each other itāll set off this ear aching high pitched noise
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Donāt they have a app you can download to see what kids are doing and where they go. I donāt have young ones in my house. Just trying to help you out.
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Plant a nice rose garden under his window, and alarms on all the doors and windows
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All the comments about locking him in , locks bars on windowsā¦just hope none of you have a house fire. Smh.
Adults needing to think about consequences of THEIR actions.
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Talk to them both get her on birth control and meet them halfway. Strict parents create sneaky children.
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Cameras, window/door alarms, talk to her parents
Could you get a security system? They make them with alarms on the windows so if it is opened, it goes off.
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Alarm on windows and doors that he doesnāt know the code to. Tracker on his phone. It will alarm you when he leaves your house. And I would definitely be talking to the girls parents!!
Let him no next time hes not there in the middle of the night your calling the police to find him and drag him homeā¦
Also if hes gonna say hes at āa buddiesā and you dont think the buddy exsist you shoild load him up in the car the second he walks in and demand he bring you to his buddies house. Its be a random goosechase for a bit then heāll either fess up or youāll find yoirself at some weird dudes hoise where he goes to see his girlfriendā¦ Also take any phone or access to online hes got for at least 2 monthesā¦ Hard to meet up with anyone when you cant touch base with them. L ol
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Oh and live 360 is an app that gives you live location, as long as he doesnāt leave his phone at home
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My family got a security system to keep me in when I was a bad teen. I have trackers on all my kids phones.
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They have doorknobs and deadbolts that have keys slots on both sides, he wouldnāt be able to get out without the keys, sure he might figure out a way but would make it harder.
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I would get in contact with his girlfriends parents and see what you guys can arrange also if they are not aware that she is sexually active I would bring it up even if itās tough to talk about. Birth control could definitely be the safest way to goā¦
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If he want to act like an adult treat him like one, make him get a job, pay rent, and utilities. Have him buy his own food. And I understand at 14-15 find a job will be hard but he can always cut grass and help neighbors.
If heās sneaking out from his window plant a rose bush right under it. Thatās what my mother in law did Or maybe have an honest talk and maybe come to some kind of arrangement that the girlfriends parents agree to as well? Open communication is vital.
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Freeze his cell phone / take it away, remove ipad/computer. Canāt make plans to sneak out if Canāt communicate with his gf.
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All these comments about nailing a window shut is extremely dangerous in the event of a fire. The child could become trapped in the room and cannot get out! Please do not ever do this.
If he is sneaking out. Stop calling him and giving him warnings just call the cops on him as a run away. He wants to act like that then he can face the legal consequences of doing so. Most phone plans you can add smart family and get notifications when he is leaving the house and exactly where he is at through the app. I know with Verizon you can set it up to were he canāt unistall it.
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I was this teenager once . Everyone said id amount to nothing. I behaved when my dad was around as soon as he left at 12am for work I was out the window lashing out dating and seeing well older guys trying drugs never listening. The day I went to childās panel and they said to my dad can you cope with her and he said yes then asked my mum the same question and she said no the same day I was taken into care I was there a few months a few different homes and familyās before being put back with my mum and dad it was the hardest thing my mum had to do but was good for me . Iām now 26 have my own children own place and a lovely husband and going through my training to become nurse donāt take a single drug and donāt drink at all. I just wanted to tell you donāt feel defeated donāt be upset itās not your fault I generally think itās a age thing. You could try sitting him down and having a chat and do all the window locking things but in the end as a child who did this myself we always find a way. Iām not saying donāt give a toss but maybe just explain to him how it makes you feel when you wake up and heās gone how worried you are. Fingers crossed something works for you all and things get a bit easier. It will with time 
I hope your ok. P.s im dreading the teenage years
Get an alarm on all windows and doors
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Buy him some condoms and stop treating him like a criminal
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Just put some melatonin in his food , heāll sleep all night . Take all electronics away from him. Canāt make plans if you canāt text.
Nail his window shut and get an alarm he doesnāt know the code to.
I would definitely talk to them about birth control and condoms if they are going going have sex they need to use protection. Teenagers are going to have sex whether us parents agree with them doing that or not I would defend talk.to them in general and her parents as well get an alarm system on the house so when he tries to sneak out it sounds the alarm also download a tracking app on his phone. And if he still canāt follow rules put him in military school
door and window alarms on the outside of the window and door (top of the door on the outside so it makes it harder for him to try and trick the alarm (if you slide a butter knife and the open the door if its towards the bottom it wonāt make a sound if you keep pressure and close it really quick)
A security system that beeps if any doors or windows open if thatās an option for youā¦ not sure if either of you are light sleepers)
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Take his phone before bed every night. Make sure he doesnāt have any phone/computer access. Alarms on windows, definitely talk to the gfās parents about birth control. Take away his game systems and electronics if he keeps it up.
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Be open with him and try to be understanding if he opens up to you. . Buy him condoms, explain to him ALL the risks if he doesnāt use it. Show him pictures of STD, look up videos of dying people with AIDS. Find someone who has a baby and make him take care of it on his own with supervision of course. Show him how rough life can be but Iām a empathetic way. . If heās sneaking out to be with the girlfriend. Have her over more often, itās prob a disliked opinion but if he is sneaking out to have sex, I would rather my child have safe sex in my house than unsafe somewhere else.
You canāt keep him from having sex so parent him. Give him advice and some condoms and tell them they should be safe. Taking his electronics and keeping him inside is only going to make him want to rebel more. Heās a teenager, give him space and communicate with you
Allow him to make his own mistakes, just try to help guide him, dont force him
The stricter you are, the harder he will push back. My parents tried it all and I was a mom at 16. You donāt need a cell phone to sneak out, a security system will only make him work smarter and more dangerous. If he wants to smoke weed he will have to suffer the natural consequences, jail, tickets he will have to pay himself, community service.
Itās a phase mama!!! You will make it through this and he will too! Sending you love!
Make him take care of your youngest child. Like 100% for a day and see if that wonāt make him realize how much work it is to take care of a kid. Maybe heāll at least wear a condom then. Or show him pictures of stds and vaginal births and see if that leaves a mark
I have 4 boys 17 to 14. We decided to buy bulk condoms and gave them to the oldest boys already because we were worried they may be too embarrassed to buy them or ask us to. We so far havenāt had the issues you are dealing w but its so important to give them the right tools to make a stupid decision safely. I was far more rebellious than our kids. I snuck out all the time, wouldnāt come home for days at a time. Looking back i dont think there is anything my parents could have done to stop it. But they always told me i could call anytime day or nite for a ride with no questions asked if i felt unsafe or my ride was intoxicated. My dad was very open and honest about drugs, sex, etc and that really helped me navigate those situations. He told the fun stories and the bad. Be honest w your son about life. You cant stop him but you can make sure he knows you are concerned and are there for him no matter what without the fear of getting in trouble if he calls you for help. He will grow out of this.
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An alarm system is a good idea. If you go with the cheaper little alarms from the hardware store, make sure they are screwed down real good. You can also hang a grid of cow bells over the outside of his bedroom window.
Keep talking to him (without anger).
Give him incentives for making smart choices.
And speak to the girls parents.
Make friends with a leo and have them talk to him. Maybe even a tour of county lockup.
1- buy him condoms.
2- tell him he has to get a job, and set aside some money for vocational training and/or college, as well as have some money set aside for prenatal care, child support, and a future childās college fund.
If he wants to take adult risks, he has to be ready to pay the cost of those risks.
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Salina Bertin heās 14 and this is not acceptable. He could get a bad batch of weed with fentanyl in it and DIE!
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My son was doing the same thing, he is 16 and a good kid, but he has done some dumb stuff. I caught him trying to sneak out one night when he was 15. We sat him down and talked to him and were empathetic to him He gave us a sob story about how he likes to take walks at night to clear his head, because even when heās alone in his room, he doesnāt feel alone. The next night, he snuck out and I figured it out because of the hickey on his neck in the morning. You can have talks with your kids til youāre blue in the face, but even the best kids are no match for their own hormones. I took his phone, his door, installed a ring floodlight in the front and back of our house. My boys know the biggest thing with me is honesty which is why he lost his door and his phone.
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I have a 15 and 14 year old sons and yes it can be nightmare. Im still learning. Both of my sons are so different. While the youngest hates trouble, my oldest loves attention. Any attention. Got this girl that bought him a phone etc etc. I absolutely hate it. Thank the Lord we live in a rural area. He has rules he has no choice to go by. Phone and all electronics are to be turn completely off at bedtime bc we have to sleep. Know his password. YOU have to supervise the phone, bc nobody else will. Your the Mom. Randomly ask to see and check his phone. If you can get in by him changing the password. He doesnāt get a phone. Periodt. If he making plans to see a girl. You let that girl know that he had rules he has to follow. Nowadays most girls are not being watches as they should be unfortunately. Give him licks with a belt when he sneaks out. Do u know how much trouble YOU can be in nc of his choices?? Talk to him abt sex. Abt condoms. Abt money. All the good and bad of making bad choices in life. He is still with for a few more years. Communicating with that girls parents. Who cares if you wanna tell on her or embarrass her. Let me tell you I had to deal with some little girls parents and its either you take control of the situation or that little girls parents are gonna be on you. I dont want no little girls Dad on my door step. No mam.
Get him up early working on whatever needs to be doneā¦no naps. They require lots of sleep at that age.
I would take his cellphone and any communication away. Maybe make him sleep in yalls room for a while. Also know who his friends are. I wouldnt worry about making him mad or being too strict. He needs it! He needs you to talk to him too about the difference in being his parent vs friend. Once you explain to him that youre doing what parents do and you love him he will begin to understand youre not just being mean. Also maybe babysit and have him around one day! I dont think kids realize how hard it is.
Another idea is to maybe make him get a job. When he asks why let him know he is making big adult decisions, assuming hes having sexā¦ and let him know with that comes responsibility. Like if he gets her pregnant he will need lots and lots of money to support her. Give him the realities lay it all out for him so he can see the magnitude of what that would look like.
Just my ideas take it with a grain of salt. Im not in your shoes and certainly not his mama. Mama knows best, but I was raised with 4 boys and kinda saw how my parents handled this. And how they handled some of my rebellion. I think the biggest thing that helped me was realizing how irresponsible I actually was and then realizing they were not just trying to be mean but were simply being my parents because they cared about me. My dad explained to me that he didnt care if he had to be the most hated in town if it meant he was doing his job, he said he didnt care what anyone thought of him and if I hated him temporarily because no one else would be there when i was in trouble or suffering the consequences ā¦he would beā¦ and all those people would be gone. He also explained thoroughly that he loved me more than anyone out there and he was looking out for me. He never really told me no, not to do things but gave me choices and lectures about each choice and how it may impact my future and what my future could or could not look like with those choices. He also explained to me how my brain was not fully developed at that age and that didnt help me make good decisions. (Youre very impulsive at that age)
Idk im just saying it helped me to really rawly understand everything. All the details
Honestly I will talk with the gfs parents
Make arrangements for them to spend time at your house if her parents are ok with it but donāt leave him alone and no doors closed and make him have a curfew
Definitely get window/door alarms.
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I wouldnāt suggest nailing his window shut but taking away all electronic devices and maybe asking him why he thinks he needs to go behind your back oh and adt has alarms that will sound if window is open or door is open Iād suggest that as well that way if the talk doesnāt help you can at least know that he is sneaking out I did the same thing at his age my parents caught me once and that was the end of that lol they took my phone away and legitimately stalked me every 30 minutes
I have two sons (they are only 3 & 1) and I am terrified of this. I was a terribly rebellious teenager and got into a lot of trouble and drugs, I donāt want that for my kids. I had friends die of overdoses/mixed drugs once a year at least. I didnāt stop until I got into a stable relationship at 19, with someone who wasnāt into partying.
My plan is just to provide unlimited condoms and a safe place for my kids (so they donāt have to sneak out). At least if they are at home doing whatever they were going to sneak out to do, I can monitor and make sure they are safe, right ?
I started smoking weed at 12, and I think if my mom would have provided an understanding home surrounding normal experimentation instead of harsh punishment, I would have not snuck out to worse places and introduced to far harder drugsā¦ā¦
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Honestly I would just let him explore and learn just be there for him.
Donāt make yours and his home a prison with alarms etc it will only make him want to rebel more.
Ask to meet the friend and have him over. Say you donāt mind him going to friends just would be reassuring for you if you knew him and where he lives.
His girlfriend as long as her mum is okay with it let her come over and have the rule when shes over/stays the door must stay open and if allowing sleepovers she sleeps in another room or he does and if they break this she will not be aloud again. Also I would have a contraceptive chat and ask her mum to have it with her too. Supply condoms if you feel better to, heās going to do it anyways.
Drugsā¦ if heās done it and has not continued great but I would educate him on whatās what. Learn about drug rings etc so he knows what to look out for and not get involved with.
Best of luck hun.
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You call the cops. Use a Find My Phone app & let the police pick him up.
Now, if this is continuing? Why does he gave electronics at all? Youāre nicer than me bc none of that would be given back.
A for weed, it may be legal. I bet itās not legal for a child. 14 is a child. Poor impulse control. Poor decision making. Nobody is saying he wonāt be a great man but heās putting himself in a position to not make it too 18. Running the streets isnāt safe.
When you notice heās gone, lock his window and doors, call the cops. *change the locks & donāt give him a key 
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Spank the shit outta him
Follow himā¦ Let him be and follow himā¦ Get to the wayā¦ And then communicateā¦ Without putting your own feelings, thoughtsā¦ first.
Meet the gf and parents u canāt stop them from seeing each other so may as well make sure there wonāt be any surprises or scares n making them hide or sneak around makes them want to do it even more
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Alarms on windows and doors keep his phone till he gets his crap together
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He reallllly reallllllllly needs to understand that if he is doing adult things he WILL HAVE adult repercussions and responsibilities in return. Once he turns in his ākid cardā he canāt get it back after that. Is he ready for a full time job and taking care of another human being? Bills? Etc? Hello thatās whatās to come! He also should be aware that any female he meets at this age will be a huge super big distraction to the beginning process of building himself up as a man. Promise. Explain the hormones that are coursing through his body right now. Theyāre almost like a drug and they trick his brain into not seeing things for what they are. Teenage hormones are something else all together! Haha!
As for the sneaking out FOR SURE heās seeing a girl. Not a buddy. Iād put $ on it.
Tell him you canāt protect him from the police.
(Just things that worked for me when I was a good girl gone a bit crazy teen)lol
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Well, first off you have to start when they are little training them as to who is the parent and who is the child. My Dad loved us but we knew when he said it we better do. No begging or telling us twice. When my daughter tried to sneak out, her dad caught her as she was coming in. She first needed a pillow on her butt before she could sit. Then we talked about the problem, besides the loss of the car keys. It is hard when they are teenagers. I understand, but you got to start young so you can withstand those teenage year. Things will get better and it will eventually settle down. Your child will grow up and be fine. It is just the road to raising a teenager is hard. I wish parents would understand you are not their best friend you are their mom and dad. You do have the right to get into their business, check their phones, see who their friends are. i am praying for you. The parent of my father and then as i was to mine is old fashioned , just not used anymore.
Alert the girlfriends parents about all of it-Do they want a grandchild? What a way to start a life 
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