If she’s a good mom just like you 
there should not be a problem with with you about that ? Would you rather have her secretly abuse your kids and be a bad step mom ? Or would you appreciate her and feel like you have a good person in your kids life .
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Unfortunately you don’t have much control over
This
It’s definitely messed up that this is happening
But unfortunately until their dad realizes it’s messed up nothings going to change
The only thing you can really do is remind yourself that your kids definitely no better and no one’s ever gonna be able to take your place no matter if they’re being called mom
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My daughters dad was out the picture when she was a couple months old when she was 2 an half going on 3 I started dating this guy an we were serious we moved in together an she started calling him daddy on her own he raised her since 1 but we didn’t move in for yr or so later her we both would tell her he wasn’t daddy an would show her a pic of her dad but to her my bf was daddy an her bio dad came back in the pic when she was 7 an is off an on with her so an im not with the guy any more we broke up after our son passed away but she calls them both Daddy black or Daddy jochy an the guy who raised her still takes care of her him an his girlfriend we have a really good relationship an with the bio dad as well we all have gotten together its not bout us its about the kids involved her bio dad has 5 other girls so she is the oldest of her sisters an her dad that raised her my sons father has 2 kids with his girl an they included my daughter as there big sister so I call it a bonus family
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Step parents are parents too.
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It isn’t how you feel it’s how the children feel. Sorry it sounds harsh but it isn’t about you. I’m pretty sure it hurt my mom when I started referring to my stepmom as mom. But in the end it was how I felt to have a second mother. And now that I’m older with my own child I can tell my mom is happy that my bonus mom was in my life and that my daughter has multiple grandmas to love her.
You’re their mom regardless. It doesn’t really matter what they call her. I sympathize with how you’re feeling & it sucks that you feel this way, but in the end, if she is treating your children well, you’re going to have to let this go…
Be happy that someone loves your kids enough that they are comfortable calling her mom? I get that it is off putting in some ways, but they know who their mom is and they know how hard you work for them and that you love them. The more people who love your child on that level the better of your child is, the safer your child is, the happier your child is. Stop fighting over a word, or find one that you are comfortable with, maybe your momma and she is mom, or ask them to call her momma (insert name).
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Why is this weird? My step-daughter has called me mom a few times, and I’ve only been in her life less than a year. She is 17. My oldest used to call the babysitter Mom! I grew up calling my close friends parents Mom and Dad. I didn’t call them that to shame my own parents, I called them that because they helped raise me too! I am a Mom and any kid who calls me Robyn or calls me Mom is gonna get the same love and nurture from me!
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Are they really being forced into it, or does that make the pill easier for you to swallow? Coming from a step mother- she is a parent. She should be respected as such. My step son started calling me mom on his own about a year and a half ago, I know it kills his bio mom, but I never forced it on him and would never crush his heart by telling him not to call me that. That’s his decision. She’s obviously doing well in her role as stepmother, otherwise they wouldn’t feel comfortable calling her that.
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Yes if that what happining just go along with it they will (Your twins) Will love you for it making it easier for them ( they feel your feeling it also make them feel sick inside)
They’re 8. They’re not being forced, they’re willingly calling her mom. Sorry bout you.
Just be thankful she’s a good stepmom to your children, if stepmom wants the children to call her mom it would be fine with me. I see nothing wrong with it.
As hard as it must be on you, you need to put your children’s best interest first. Don’t make them feel uncomfortable or like they did something wrong. This is adding unnecessary tension and guilt to your kids while the ex and his wife isn’t bothered.
Stepmom here🙋♀️. We have custody of both children. I’ve been in their lives for the last nine years, they call me Mom, they call their mother Mom. I love those children as much as my other 4. Their bio mom has absolutely no issues with it. I feel like if she is a good mother figure to them it shouldn’t be an issue. Be thankful that your ex has found someone that accepts and loves your babies almost as much as you do, if not the same. It’s very healthy and they are old enough to know the difference. Would you rather her treat them as outsiders?
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Oh just stop! How petty!!! Such a small matter! It takes a village to raise the children if she is good to your children so much the better! Your jealously does not wear well on you!
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Your kids will never have another mother. Period end of story. She did not give birth to them she is not working hard for them everyday. But, She is there for them. And as much as that sucks you will either have to accept it and know that your kids will have a positive relationship with someone else who they call mom, or you will stay bitter and resentful and drive a wedge in their relationship with their father. You don’t need a social worker to help you with this you need to go to group counselling with your ex and the new wife. Holding on to these kinds of resentments are about your ex not the new wife. By the sounds of it your hurt (and maybe jealous) that she’s living the life you didn’t get with him with your kids and your feeling pushed out. And that’s a fair feeling to have, but to stew in it and to have it spill out into your kids life is not fair to them. Mom to the new wife is a name, but when you are a mom it’s a heart badge. You can’t be replaced ,in their hearts, even if it feels that way… I’d go do some talk therapy over this and work out the underlying reason.
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Ok LADIES
My 2 brothers call our stepdad by his name. When in public we refer to him as our dad, our stepbrothers are brothers to us.
Why are you so offended by this? (Seriously asking) is she mean to them? Does she not treat them like her own? the way I look at it is if she is a parental figure to them and she loves those kids as if they were her own what’s wrong with him calling her mom If she loves them like a mother. Also I think a lot of people think that calling another person mom or dad takes away from the love their children have for them. That’s not the case, your children love you all. You don’t get any less love you’re not a mother any less because I call her mom. Think about it like this each person has their own pot of love they’re not taking out of your pot to give to her.
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I don’t agree with making them call her that, but if they want to it should be ok. You will always be their mom and they know that, she’s no threat to your position in their lives, so it should be their choice what to call her.
If the kids don’t mind calling her that, then there isn’t an issue. the kids are more important than your feelings.
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It isnt fair in the least but if you guys share 50-50 then that’s the other parent. If shes babysitting whike you work though maybe try to hire a sitter?
They very most likely don’t want to call her mom. Trust me when I say that they know how much it hurts you. Just tell them 5hat when they are at their daddys house you dont have a say but they will grow to be kind wonderful people and all this mess will be in the past
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I understand you… it’s hard for her to see that her kids telling her mom… I know how the feeling going… u feel like you lost ur husband and you don’t want lost your kids too why? Just because he got new wife? Your the mother… the kids is having only 1 mother… not so many… tell their father to stop… you are the mother… not she… if he don’t like it… stop visit… let him visit the kids to your house… if he really want to see his kids… 
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My ex-husband remarried and my children call his wife mommy Renn and me mommy Jenn, they don’t love you any less or anymore then her. They know who their “real” mother is, at first it was a little hard to get use to but when I see their little faces light up having TWO mommies that love them! How can you not want that for them. Once you realize it’s all about the children your entire prospective changes.
I went through that with my daughter and it hurt me like crazy. But someone explained to me that it made my daughter feel like she fit in better there. Dont worry when your child turns into an adult they realize . Your best thing is bite your tongue and it all works out in the end.
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I’m a step mom and I don’t see the big issue with the children wanting to call her mom. Now unless you have solid proof they are actually forcing them to get mom then you should just let it be. I’ve been in my step daughters life for over 7 years, she started calling me mommy when she was about 2, her mom was absolutely angry about it and forbidden her to call me mom and even went as far as to yell at her child for doing so. My step daughter is now 8 and has wanted to call me mom but her mom said that I’m not her mother and therefore she can’t call me mom. However my step daughters mom lets her call her boyfriend dad. Now my husband doesn’t care that she does that but finds it very contradicting that she’s allow her daughter to call him dad and won’t let her call me mom. Anyways I think if it’s the kids wanting to call her mom then let them.
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They have one mum that’s you I wouldn’t have my daughter call anyone else mum I find it disrespectful of her (to you) letting/making them do it xx
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You need to explain to your kids not to call her mom… that your they’re only mother. Your kids are the only ones that can put an end to this.
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Wow. That’s just not right. Remind your ex that you and he made those babies before she was around! Maybe entertain a discussion about a special nickname for her instead… ?
I’m sorry.
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Don’t try to impose your will on those poor kids, it’s not about you, that woman deserves and had earned the right to be called Mom. Stop trying to keep putting the manure into that families life.
May have to inquire why husband has full custody, and not you ???
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Okay, step mom and bio mom here and I am and always have been a step daughter! IF the child is being forced then THAT is wrong. I agree 100% on that. If the children are doing it on their own accord, then drop it because she is doing something right by them. I have 4 step(bonus) children, 3 different mothers. 3 VERRRRYYYY different personalities. But 2 oldest want nothing to do with me because their mother hates me and believes her stories. While extremely heart breaking because I love them. It’s out of my hands. My step son, calls me mom, and also calls his step dad, dad. His mom is the best and easiest to communicate with because ITS ABOUT THE CHILD NOT US. My youngest step daughter on occasion calls me mom, or I’m her Sammie. But she also tells everyone she has TWO moms. I treat ALL of my children, yes my children, the same. Not once have I or will I ever ask them to call me mom, because biologically I’m not and while I have little to no respect for two of the three moms, that is one thing that should be respected.
IF BY CHANCE you are hung up on something, let it go! Please just let it go, history is in the past and can’t be changed and what needs to be focused on is the now and future. I’ve watched my husbands ex wife destroy his relationship with his daughters because he finally found someone he wanted to marry(and finally divorce her after 8-10 years though she was with someone for those 4).
Move on from the past, is she genuinely loves your children and is willing to protect and teach them. Honor and adore that.
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I am the “step mom” I have been in my daughters lives from when they were 2 and 4. They have never called me “mom” until recently, I’d say maybe 2-3 years ago. Now they are 19 and 21. I never understood why BMs can’t just be grateful for good SMs. Instead of saying thank you for taking care of my children while I am not around and for not being the “evil step mom” some BMs always seem to find some THING wrong
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Nobody ever replaces you as their mother.
I don’t think they should be forced to call her mom, if they choose to that’s different. I have two stepsons I’ve been in their life for 12 years, they don’t call me mom
A step parent is a parent, especially if she’s their primary care giver while at their fathers house, so she is allowed to parent them while they are there.
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You just sound jealous and bitter. Be happy they have someone and co parent.
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She is one of their mums, sorry 
she loves them, looks after them, you yourself say she spends more time with them, sje foes the mum stuff when the kids are with them
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Hard as it is that they refer to her as mom; you are still their biological mother. If she treats them well, and encourages them in the same interests you do be grateful. It will still hurt, but not as much as having a step that is mean, indifferent, or teaching morals, habits you disagree with. You can’t stop the situation so make peace with it or you could loose your relationship with your girls.
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Wow. I have a step dad that helped raise me. I call both him and my dad “dad”. He and I stopped the “step” early on.
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If they aren’t being forced - you need to grow up. If my children called their step-mother mom, I would be very grateful to have another woman who is willing to love my children as her own. I don’t understand petty moms. There is much more important things to worry about.
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My sons dad’s girlfriend tries to have my son call her mom, it is the most aggravating thing I’ve ever experienced, especially since she doesn’t have a clue how to parent a child, my son hates her, as well as everyone in my family and his father’s family because she treats my son horribly (worst part is that I cant say anything about it to my sons dad bc he will assume that I’m just being jealous, which is far from the truth, I’m engaged, and hes just vain). Thankfully even at 4 my son knows better and doesn’t call her mom he calls her by her first name which is the way it should be. She has no idea what it’s like to be a mother and has no right. This is my experience and I believe strongly that there is a huge difference between a mother and a stepmother, as long as the birth mother is involved in the child’s life no1 else has the right to claim to be that child’s mom. There are great stepmothers out there and yes they have earned some serious gold stars for caring for someone else’s child, but that still doesn’t change the fact that they are not that child’s mother.
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Get some therapy for the anger you have from your divorce. A pro can help you get to a place of less bitterness, more happiness.
Your kids love you and you will always be their Mom, but if you hold a grudge they won’t like you as much.
Can the kids call you Mom and their stepmom Mom first name? Just like my kids had Grandma Rose and Grandma Marge. Maybe that could be a compromise everyone could live with.
Why u so worried for ? Let it gooooo let it goooo
It’s up to your kids what they call her. Not you. It hurts but 
she’s been around for afew years now and is married to their father so she’s not going anywhere, not for a while atleast. He’s not your husband anymore, he’s hers.
Honestly You sound petty/jealous that your relationship didn’t work with him and your man that she gets to stay home while he works and you can’t cause she’s not with you.
What would/could a social worker do? They can’t make someone work. They can’t make your kids not call her mom. They can’t make you not work to be with them more.
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Your mad that she is willingly accepting your children into her life and treating them with love and respect like she would treat her own children?
Geeeh can’t win no matter what you do when you co parent. If your kids are comfortable calling her mum let them if there being forced sit the adults down and have a civil discussion.
You just sound jealous and petty.
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So, you’re comfortable letting her keep your kids all the time but uncomfortable with her being a “mom” too?
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My son calls his step mom… Momma Susie. I do not agree with a child calling adult by first name alone… So mamma Susie or aunt Donna is how they address an adult…
See if father or step mom is insistent on child calling her mom… Explain to child you are their only mom… But they can call her momma (her name) make sure you address this with the children in front of ex and new wife so all are on same page.
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Wow. The whole post started off wrong, ‘My children call MY HUSBANDS wife mom?’ He’s not your husband anymore and her not having to work has nothing to do with you. I highly doubt they are forcing your kids to call her mom, if they are then yes they’ are very wrong for that and I can understand being upset but I doubt that’s happening. As far as her being a parent to your kids, umm, you stated yourself she has them more than you do and she is a STEP-PARENT. It’s not all about you and what you want, it’s about the kids. Unless you have solid proof that they are forcing your kids to call her mom then I’d be grateful that there’s someone there for my kids while I have to work. By what you posted I’m gonna guess that step mom and dad are the primary caregivers. Unless those kids are being abused or something, a social worker or CPS isn’t going to do anything, they’re probably laughing behind your back because of the pettiness. I wi,ll never understand some mothers and their hatefulness towards the woman that their ex is with. You need to leave whatever’s going on in your head in the past because it’s not going to change anything. You are their mother and you will never be replaced but be grateful that there’s another woman who’s there when you can’t be who loves and cares for your children just as much as you.
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I agree with the therapy. It’s not the kids fault, it’s not the step mom’s fault. I understand your hurt, I would be hurt also but I think you need to talk to someone that can help you deal with the feelings so that they are not taken out in the kids.
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You had a social worker involved over them calling her mom. Sounds as though you have some issues to work through. If you’re secure enough in your motherhood it wouldn’t bother you. Stop worrying so hard about them and worry about you as a mother and be there for your kids.
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As a mother, you should be glad there is another female figure in their lives to help parent them when you are not around. Also, if the kids wanted to stop calling her mom, they would. My step dad has been in my life since I was 7 (almost 21 years), and I’ve called him dad for 20 years. Yes, my biological dad is still in my life and always has been. And why do you have a social worker involved? There’s nothing they can do. That’s asinine. There’s literally no need to have a social worker involved just for that.
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She has a right to the title mom as much as you do as long as she is taking good care of them as well she deserves the mom title too I wouldn’t be upset about at all.
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Tell them to call her bonus mom
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Stop being selfish and causing drama.
Believe it or not most step-mothers treat your children with all the love in the world by choice.
You may be shocked to learn that your children may be doing that by choice and o afraid to tell you.
Relax, she is not trying to replace you. No one can ever do that.
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My son called his step mom “mama elayne” and I miss her to this day. She passed away in May at 31. I was upset, however, when my sons dad met a new woman shortly after she died and they called her mama… I felt that was wrong and confusing for two 5 year olds and a 2 year old.
I have no advice but I’d just like to say sorry for what your going threw! Being a step mom myself I’ve always had my my fiance’s kids call me fren (my nephew couldn’t say Catherine as a child he could only get that out so it stuck lol) but I hope everything works out!!
I’ve had multiple step mom’s and dads, not once did I call them dad or mom or my brother did. We had a mom and dad. We are grateful for step parents but we just never did that. Bc it wasn’t true we seen our actual mom and dad every week. Idk if there was a absent parent maybe? But no
Personal experience I had 11 children about 5 called me mom had 3 of my own out of the 14 I have only my. 3 who still call me mom so believe me a child will never stay faithful to a person they know is not there mother. I encouraged or discouraged I k ew they would grow out of it have faith in your children they love you
Well, she’s their stepmother, and it sounds like she’s taking good care of them so there’s nothing wrong with them calling her mom; I can understand how all of this would sting though. You are their mom and they are always going to know that and love you. They just get to have 2 moms now instead of 1.
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… kids can have more than one mom. My daughter calls both my husband and her biological father “dad.” I’m not sure what the issue is. Sorry?
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As a stepmother myself. I left what my stepdaughter calls me up to her. Let the kids decide what their comfortable with. No one should force a child to call them mom if she isnt the bio mom.
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Just be thankful she isn’t being mean to them
,
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Why does it matter if she is good to them and loves them? The more people that love your kids the better! Your kids know you are their mom. The only one making a big deal out of it is you. You are essentially setting the example that another woman is not supposed to love them the same. Grow up.
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If she is good to then and stepping up as a step mother then Why be upset? Why be upset that yalls children have someone else to love and protect them? So far it sounds like she is amazing and has stepped up as there second mom. Social working being involved in any of this is beyond crazy. Shows to much jealousy. Think about what’s best for the kid’s.
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Lots of stepmoms commenting on this post. Kinda blows my mind because I am bff’s with my ex-husband’s daughter’s mother. I don’t think that would be the case if my ex-step-daughter has ever called me mom. We never dared to go there, and, fir the record, I still love my ex-step-daughter and see her often. But I would seriously flip if some woman ever tried this with my kid, especially since I never over-stepped like this. Y’all aren’t the moms. If the moms aren’t in the picture, then maybe…
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Tell your ex when you get a new man they will call him dad so he can see how it feels💁
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What bitchy fuckn comments, woman are pure heartless
Your aloud to feel like that but you should look at the bigger picture, this is Lammas lady that’s going to be in their lives just as much as you now and you should be thankful she’s not a nasty stepmom who beats and picks in them if, if she loves them like her own what’s the big deal technically she is doing what a mom does 
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I would leave it up to my kids what they call her. You sound bitter and crazy getting cps involved over that. They have actual business to deal with. Be glad you have another woman who loves your kids.
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So petty. Stop it. She’s mothering the kids so she is “mom” in that home. It’s not easy raising another woman’s kids! But the fact that she devotes herself to it & stays at home tells me she wants to make it work. Don’t try to mess the kids heads up with your politics over what the correct title is & let them call her whatever they are comfortable with calling her.
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If they MAKE your kids call her that, it’s very wrong. If they choose to, that’s different. Establish that you carried and birthed them, but that their stepmom is a bonus.
My grandpa married my grandma when my mom was 13. She calls her mama. Like, I’m not going to call her Mary just because she isn’t my biological grandma.
With all due respect, involving a social worker makes you seem really bitter. I’m sure it isn’t easy being a step parent as it is. Don’t be that woman that makes being a step parent a living hell.
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I hate this post so incredibly much. I am the other woman in this scenario I am a stepmum to 2 beautiful boys. You cannot control your children and this woman must doing something right espeically if the children aren’t complaining about being asked to call her mum. You trying to control this will alienate them and push them further away. When it came up calling me mum the only time I pushed it is when I had a baby with their dad and they say “go to mum” “where’s mum” not “where’s Emily” but outside of that we have always said you can call me Emily or mum I’m still going to be here for you regardless as you guys are my children too. I am a stay at home mum too and in the same position as the primary carer but I have no rights like this woman so maybe by calling her mum it just makes her feel a bit appreciated you know? Makes her feel like she is actually contributing to raising your children?
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She is NOTT MOM
She didn’t give them life
Carry them for 9 months
She is just a woman dad married.
She is not fuckn mom
Use all need to give your heads a fuckn shake and get the fuck down of this womans back
My kids have ONE mom, and ONE dad! Anyone else is just extra! Sorry, not sorry!
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Put your pride to the side I used to feel the way you felt and my daughter is 3 and has a step mom she calls her mom be thankful you children have all the love from everyone. Calling a social worker is being petty
Childish much? Calling cps on them? shows who the bitter one is.
I wish I had something godd to tell you. I am 65 now.
I had 3 children with my exhusband, then 2 with my husband now. My experience was exactly the same as you describe. The new stepmom told them, yes…told them, if they would come live with them she would get them a hoese, then a pool, then a car…guess what? They went!
They had grownup with me being a stay at home mom, I loved it, I loved them, was devoted…we were close (I thought)
It broke my heart. I hung in there, kept trying, kept loving.
They are still closer to her now, I dont even see them!
There has been so much dirt thrown at me by her & over time, even them, seemingly brainwashed to me. I was so upset it made me sick, physically sick, throwing up, hair fell out, etc.
When we retired my husband scooped me up & we moved 550 miles away. He said he was tired of seeing me cry, ignored, disrespected, abused & used!
He brought me back to my hometown. It has taken much work, but for me I had to walk away. Im happy, we go anywhere we like. My husband spoils me so much & I, him also.
Our 2 children come & we enjoy them & their children.
I pray all of this does not happen to you, but please do not become so sick over it all.
Do whaever you have to do to be as happy as you can, whole & laugh & take nothing for granted. If you remarried make it great, hold fast to each other. Be “FOR” each other.
Message me anytime, you are in my prayers!
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Speak up and voice your opinions ultimately be grateful another woman loves your children
So long as the children are comfortable. It sounds like you’re the one with the problem, not them? I think it’s stupid that they would make the children call her mom, but it’s just a word and your kids know who their mother is. There is also that chance that she is more of a mother figure than you as well? I’m not saying that is the case, but if they feel comfortable, let them be. They are eight years old and have no business being told anything about anything.
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Its wrong the children were told to do that and at their age they don’t really understand why it hurts you. My advice is to stop giving it attention the kids know you’re their only mom right now its confusing and the fact it keeps being brought up is probably harder for them.
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Sounds like all you are is jealous. I’m pretty sure thier not “making” your children call her mom but rather they are doing it on thier own. Shes a bonus mom. I think the real issue lies in the fact that you can not get over what happened between you and your ex. And for that, I’m sorry. Just be glad that woman loves your children as if they were her own.
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This.
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I would tell them not to call her that. Period. I dont care how much time she spends with them. She isn’t their mom and you are not okay with it. If their dad has an issue with it, oh well. I bet he wouldnt like them calling another man dad.
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My granddaughter calls her stepmom “Mama Sue”. It works.
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Your child will always know that you are the main mom. However, you do need to realize that they are married which makes them a team. That means they both parent your child/children on their time. It hurts every time I here my daughter say mom to her stepmom, but I will never shame my daughter or her bonus mom for my jealousy.
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My kids all call my mother mom because that’s what they hear my brothers and I call her, my nephew also calls me mom and his mother mom. I see nothing wrong with it at all, they all know who there mom is. But on the same hand my nephew calls my husband dad and his bio dad flips his lid and in all honesty the only one ot is hurting is the kids not the adult that you really upset with.
Technically ur not the only mother they have. But u are the only MOM.
The only thing that matters is that she cares for and treats the kids as her own
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This is so sad I have a step daughter and I would never have her call me mom the most is probably aunty but that’s it lol for me not even that I tell her that her mother works for her to get the the things she needs some people are so selfish and manipulative
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Maybe she’s a nice lady and the kids feel comfortable calling her mom. What’s import0ant here is that your kids have a health and peaceful relationship with their dad and new wife. Don’t stress. 
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Tell your kids that it hurts you, they are old enough to realise that words hurt and that mum can be hurt by word too, your ex and his wife are pigs
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Your children are trusting her enough to call someone Mum. They know the difference between mum and not mum. I call my step-mum mum because she has been in my life since I was 8 (I’m 22 now). That’s my second mum and no one can change that. My mum tried to do everything bad about it and wrecked the relationship a bit so I got mad at her. Leave your kids alone. If they are doing it because they chose too then there is nothing you can do and you doing anything can/will wreck the relationship you have with them.
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I would let them know they dont have to call her mom even if the father and stepmother want them too. You are their mom and shouldnt be forced to call anyone else mom.
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Oh no your children are comfortable with their stepmom and wish to call her mom" who has them more than you and shows an interest in their lives. 
seriously get a grip! 
your children know know your their mother but also adapted to having an awesome stepmom by the sounds of it! 
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It isn’t about you. It is about them children. She married their father and IS step MOM. So mom is allowed if they feel comfortable calling her that. She is with them often and raises them as a stay at home mom should. She earned that title. Doesn’t mean you haven’t. It means them children now have an extra person loving and guiding them.
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I’ve been a child in this situation and it hurts! I called my step dad, dad. My real father would yell and get soooo mad/bitter. It made me angry with him. I found myself walking on eggshells around him trying not to slip and call him dad in front of him. Then it was just a down hill slope because I would slip around my real dads family and feel ashamed and angry at myself when I did. I also wanted both my step dad and dad to walk me down the aisle when I got married and my real dad had a temper tantrum. It ruined my wedding. All I could think about was my step dad sitting there and how he deserved to be able to stand next to me as well. Now, as an adult who is divorced if my ex husband finds a woman who he is with for a long time and who is good to my kids and they decide they WANT (not forced) to call her mom I will be silent. I don’t want my children to feel that hurt. At the end of the day I’ll always be their mom, the one and only, the one that gave birth to them, the one that’s there thick and thin, because I am more than a title! I’m their momma! (That’s just my perceptive on it. Doesn’t mean you agree and that’s ok. Doesn’t mean it’s the same situation BUT I hope it gives an insight that it can hurt children. )!
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Sad for u as a mom it’s fine no harm
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Listen lady, grow up.
Jealousy is an ugly color on you.
Your children are comfortable to call this woman “Mom”. Unless she is physically, emotionally or mentally hurting your children you have no right to have a social worker involved because of your jealousy.
Do they not want to call her mom? Have they told you they do not wish to call her mom? Or is it you who is bitter?
I have two wonder step parents who don’t a great deal with raising me. My dad and step mom have been married 18 years. My mom and step dad almost 10 years. ( I am 26)
Neither of my biological parents where heartbroken when I referred to my step parents as mom or dad.
Why?
Because they were ecstatic that I truly loved and tested them enough to refer to them as that.
Your child will only ever have “ Mommy” but through life will have other “Moms”. Like a friend who’s parent they trust, love & feel safe with.
They may even one day have a mother-in-law.
But the fact i,s, your children spend all time with this woman, unless they are being forced to refer to her as “mom” they must love,trust and feel the same sense of security that they feel with you, that is why she is also”mom”
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If the kids want to call her that let them They know you are the real mom…I would find it a comfort that when my kids,are,away from me they feel secure enough with someone else they can trust.Im sorry but mom’s and dad’s need to stop getting jealous of their kids calling step parent mom or dad if that’s what they choose.That means they feel taken care they know who mom and dad are that will never change.
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I understand how you feel. My oldest’s dad tried to force my son to call his wife mom. My son refused and to this day some 10 years later he still refuses to. I think that it should be the children’s choice. If they have that kind of bond and loving relationship with her then I think it’s fine. If the bonus mom is kinda and loving with your kiddos then I think you should leave it alone. Love your babies. Don’t cause them unnecessary stress because you are feeling insecure. If your kids do not want to call her mom then they need to tell their dad they are uncomfortable. You going all commando make you look insecure in your position and jealous.
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My stepdaughter - doesn’t get referred as that she is my daughter calls me ‘nuther mother ‘ as I’m ANOTHER mum
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