He won’t add you because he doesn’t have to. You’re gonna have to learn to trust him to some degree. And if you have a court order saying he gets visitation you can’t just stop letting her go. His past doesn’t define his current situation. Don’t be that mom that rips her kid away from a dad that actually wants to be present for her.
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Grow up LoL you have no right to his personal life or time with his child. See a therapist about your anxiety. You cannot keep a child from their father because he won’t be your friend on Facebook 
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I completely understand the anxiety. But if you’re truly worried (as I would be with mine but he no longer has rights) the only advice I can give you is just check your child over to be sure no physical harm was done, if it was, ask him what happened document it and depending on severity report it to the police (not necessarily in that order depending on severity). At this point there’s really not much you can do though. Just for now, be happy that he’s in her life and making sure she’s safe, fed, has a roof over her head (assuming he does). I know I’d do (and have done) just about anything to have my sons dads back in his life. In the end it was his choice/choices that made the final call.
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Admins approved this just to watch OP get dragged.
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Having him add you doesn’t help you keep tabs on your child. It’s so you can keep tabs on him. If you have actual proof your child is not safe with him take it to a judge. If not you need to learn to enjoy your child free time and let him peacefully enjoy his time with his kid.
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Do you really think if he’s doing something wrong or shady he would post it on social media? Especially if he adds you??
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Wow. Just wow at the use of social media.
Like he’s going to be dumb enough to post pics of things he shouldn’t while with the child .
If you’re scared of your kid going over take it up with the courts and ask for supervised visits.
Social media can’t help you
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His social media has nothing to do with you!! Are you mad because you can’t control him anymore? I think you are!
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Everyone is saying it’s none of your business when you could just make a fake profile if you’re really wanting to be that nosy lol
Also, if you knew he had a shady past, why did you have a baby with him? 
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Overreacting. My ex and I were never social media friends and raised 2 kids together separately. No he shouldn’t add you. But he should get a court order so you can’t interfere with his visitation
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Girl your being ridiculous.
He won’t add you because you sound crazy. How dare you even expect him to add you. Y’all aren’t even together. And a shady past is still a past. And remember you chose him to be the father so he must not be that bad. You’re just trying to keep tabs on him. I’m sure a judge would love to hear you wanting to keep the child from their father because he doesn’t want to be FB friends… 
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It really isn’t going to help but wanting to know everything he does while having your daughter is impeding on his life with her. I get as a mother it makes you anxious but you can’t control that aspect of your life. She is his daughter as well. Also just being on social media won’t help because he may restrict you from seeing a damn thing and not post one bit while he has her.
If he was doing something wrong would he really put it on social media?? And him having you on social media doesn’t really allow you to keep tabs on your child only really on him which feels kind of unnecessary 
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Because you seem to nosy already leave it be
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He’s not adding you for his own peace of mind.
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I would never add the mother of my children on social . We are better having distance… if u feel your child is in danger file amotion but better have good reasons to file otherwise you’ll just piss off judge and waste money and time
You’re not together anymore, he does not have to have you on his social media accounts. 
You sound crazy!
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Why in the heck would he? You sound insane.
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Well I know why he is your baby daddy and not your husband. Good grief, grow up.
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Because you are crazy 
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He doesn’t have to add you. He doesn’t have to give you peace of mind. He has his weekends to do as he pleases, just as you do.
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This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read
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Wtf do you think you are?? It doesn’t matter what you think about his past, judge made a decision, which tells me the judge isn’t concerned for her safety. You need to be in therapy!! Stop using your child as the reason you want to keep tabs on him…You are insane!!!
Seriously? I won’t add my kids dad’s on fb if you’re worried about who he is hanging with around your child, you still can’t do anything about that unless there is drugs or violence involved and you have proof… Other than that his life is his life and he does not have to add you on social media ffs
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You want to keep him from his daughter because he won’t add you to social media? 
I don’t have my child’s father on my social media either! You sound nuts. Go get some counseling. Learn to stop trying to control your ex. Learn to let go! And find a healthy way to move forward with your life. Get hobbies! After my divorce I took up Kayaking and got huge into it. It helped me. I also throw myself into working as much as possible. I had a dog and I started taking him hiking alone. Just me and my dog in the woods alone for hours felt great! Find healthy things to do with your time.
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He’s your ex, he doesn’t owe you anything and you have no right to “keep tabs” on him whether you have a kid together or not
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His time with his daughter, is his time (it should be 50/50).
Unless she is actually in danger, isn’t none of your business.
Social media is just because you’re nosey (controlling) af.
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He does not have to and as her father he does not need to
If you dont trust him with your child why have him take her? Yall can work out shared time together or you could just chill & be confident that he also has her best interests at heart. Yes you’re definitely overreacting!
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Why should he. You just wanna follow him . If you felt your child is unsafe then you should had ask for visitation with someone to watch. Leave that man alone and let him enjoy his daughter…you scared he gonna post them having fun with someone else 
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Yes you are over reacting! He doesn’t want you get over it. No, you don’t need to keep tabs on him!!
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You need to chill. He is not your man anymore
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How old are you? When your child is with him he is not obligated to tell you or show you anything.
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I wouldn’t say your being dramatic because as a mom I would do anything to protect my kids and sometimes I overstep. I don’t think you have the right to force him to add you. But if your genuinely worried about your child’s well-being in his care you need to address this. Also, you could just create a fake social media account 
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He doesn’t need to add you
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Because it’s not about you he doesn’t have to add you if he doesn’t want to yeah we’re not together and legally you don’t have a right to keep her from him just because of this reason you had a kid with him and sadly that’s just some thing that you’re gonna have to deal with
Unfortunately, he is her father & unless you can prove him unfit then he’s entitled to his own uninterrupted time with his child to. No judge is going to tell him he had to add you to his social media. Most you’ll get is a few phone/FaceTime calls during his visit. If your this worried then I would suggest lawyering up & going through court.
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so a grown man doesn’t want to add you on social media because he doesn’t want you stalking his every mood?
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I refuse to add my son’s dad, his girlfriend too. They tried I say no. U got his number he’s got yours, good enough!! No need to be on his social media, sounds to me you wanna keep tabs on him. None of your business.
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You’re over reacting.
You’re not with him. And he does not need to add you. If you don’t trust him, then supervised visits,
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My ex tried to make me add him to social media. I refused. You can’t control what happens at his place just like he can’t control your home
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So I’m not gonna be one of those women who come on here to shame you and tell you how crazy you are… it’s disgusting actually the amount of moms so quick to judge another mom.
None of us know the type of person he is, choices he’s made, etc. to leave you feeling like this. It can be hard to release that control and hand our child over to somebody else (regardless of that persons role in the childs life). You need to work through that anxiety you have though because it’s toxic and will only make coparenting 10x harder. You, unfortunately, do not get to dictate what he does with his time (unless your child is in harms way). You should be encouraging the time your daughter has with her daddy and maintaining healthy boundaries with him. If you are struggling that bad, I would suggest you see a therapist to work through your problems.
Try to understand it from his perspective. Would you want him keeping tabs on you 24/7? If you were to ever go to court and say this to a judge, he/she would either laugh at you or chew you out.
There isn’t a handbook on parenting and certainly not on coparenting. We all have room for improvement and growth. Just breath and remember that your relationship with your ex and how y’all communicate with directly impact your daughter.
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Because what he does when he has custody is none of your business and the same when you have the child in your custody. It takes a while to get used to if you are the one “ still in love” but that’s the law and eventually you will move on and get over it
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You got some growing up to do, honestly.
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You are definitely in the wrong. You share a child. That’s it. You aren’t entitled to access to his life. You don’t get to keep tabs on him and he doesn’t have to tell you anything about what he does with his parenting time. You don’t own the child. If the child is coming back clean, without bruises and banged up, without diaper rashes if they’re of diaper age, fed etc., that’s all you get to know.
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You can call him. His social media is none of your business
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If your mothers intuition is telling you something is wrong get custody and get her away from him early. Trust me you will regret it when you’re paying expensive therapists and psychiatrists later. That’s what’s happening to me because of what my daughters dad did to her.
I understand your insecurities. But he doesn’t have to add to to anything. Your job is to look for bruises that wasn’t there. Bumps that wasn’t there. You probably won’t find any. But you can look anyway. Let him be a father. Until something proves otherwise. Enjoy being able to get a shower without getting bothered. Just relax…
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theirs phones … you really dont need to be on his social media … you also dont need to be added to have a video chat … i think ur just wanna be snoopy person shame on you
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I honestly get both sides here.
I understand your anxiety. I understand that you want to be able to check in. Especially if your child is younger.
I also understand that given the dynamics between the two of you, adding you on social media probably feels less like you wanting to check in on your kid and more like you trying to just spy on him and be controlling.
Plenty of people don’t necessarily have the best pasts or have always had the “right” friends. Who you were doesn’t necessarily mean that’s who you are. I know society likes to think that’s not true…but it is.
Look at how much you yourself have changed over the course of 10 years.
Why don’t you guys look at some co-parenting apps instead? So you can both check in on the child, share important information, and maybe even pictures?
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Baby mama drama and this is exactly why he wont add you. Stop questioning him and look in the mirror, you had a kid with him so youve must have trusted him enough to put his _in you .
Grow up.
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He doesn’t “keep tabs on you” so why do you need to do it to him? He is the father. He also has the fort to say no to you on his social media.
No matter what kind of person he is, his account is his personal space, and he isn’t obligated to add you or anyone for that matter. Also, let me put it this way: When your child is over there, it doesn’t automatically mean he is going to make a documentary on his Facebook page of everything they are doing/not doing. Say he doesn’t post at all during that time. Then, what was the point in adding you?
I think that if you’re that concerned with your child going over there that you need to get the courts involved. Having access to someone’s social media reveals fewer truths than you would think.
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who cares about SM if you feel your child is in danger STOP letting her go there meet at mc ds or somewhere public
If you’re that concerned about his behavior and the safety of your child with him then why let her go with him at all? If you were truly that concerned you wouldn’t be using it as a way to get on his socials… you would be at court bringing your worries to light
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I was the mom with the anxiety sending my son to his dads. To be completely honest, it was easier for my anxiety to take him off social media. That way I’m not constantly looking and being creepy. I promise you, his social media is the least of your worries& you most likely won’t find answers there. There’s 2 options, take it to court& keep the baby away from him, or allow yourself to learn to trust him when he has her. But his socials will not give you a peace of mind I can promise you that.
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You aren’t together so he doesn’t have to add you
He has no obligation to add you on social media. You made a baby with him . You chose at that point to trust him with your child. She’s his and your child . Does he keep tabs on you ?
Y’all aren’t together anymore and he doesn’t have to add you to his social media. My fiancé and his ex aren’t on each other’s and still communicate about their children. His personal life is none of your concern anymore as long as it doesn’t affect your child in any way. And like others have said… If you feel you can’t trust him with her then request supervised visits. And go talk to a therapist. It’ll help you.
Oh boy. How did we ever coparent without social media. Lol. So what? Who cares if he adds you on fb or not. I didn’t even make it pass that sentence in your post, that how ridiculous this is.
Not like he’d put anything you can use against him anyways
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He doesn’t owe you access to his social media. You have his number and address. That’s all you need. What he posts is not your concern. You are definitely overreacting. Get a grip. Using his past against him is trash. If he’s being a good father let him be. You maybe find a hobby for the time your daughter isn’t home.
You need to stop …. And that’s YALLS child
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You guys aren’t together which means you don’t have to be social media friends. He’s not tied to you except for that child. If he has a shady past, then why did you even have a child with him to begin with? I understand being concerned, but he doesn’t have to be your friend. He only needs to be civil for that child. It’s his time with her. You wouldn’t want him trying to nose around your business would you? It’s petty to think it’s ok to keep her from him just because of social media. You’re lucky he’s even involved with your child. Let him be!
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To bad. Nothing in any law says he has to add you. You want to keep tabs on “Your Child” get them a Cell Phone and use Find My Phone or Life360 to Track. Sounds more like you want to see what he is doing.
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He doesn’t have to add you🤷♀️ you decided to open your legs for him, you chose to trust him with your kid once you did that
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You don’t get why he won’t add you? You asked him to add you so you can keep tabs on him. If your that concerned about your child’s safety and well-being at his dads, you need to go back to court
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I wouldnt add you either. Y’all can’t be civil then you don’t need the added drama. Being up issues in court. Not fights on Facebook
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She is his child too. You have his phone number because that’s all you need? You don’t need to be Fb stalking him.
He doesn’t have to add you. He can take care of his child. Did you ever think he doesn’t trust you? Same difference. Would you want him on yours? Let him be.
Wow…does he bombard you with dumb shit when you have YALL’S kid? The kid ain’t the only one that apparently has to grow up… If you have any substantial proof that y’all’s child is being mistreated in any way, shape or form, don’t send y’all’s kid over there… I’m married to my kid’s father and sure, I get anxiety when they somewhere without me, however, they his kids too….also, why the fuck do people get on social media and air their business out there and ASK for advice to turn around get mad or pissy about said advice…Jesus take the wheel
Why would he? So you can spy on him.
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He has no obligation to add you on social media, ridiculous request. You spread your legs and had a baby with him, if you can’t trust him let the courts decide. 
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OP sounds super controlling and narcissistic. Don’t lie to us… it’s not for your piece of mind, it’s so you can spy on him.
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Wait so you don’t want your daughter over there with him because he won’t add you on FB so you can be nosey. See if he’s unfit then say he’s unfit and don’t let your daughter go for that reason not because he won’t add you on Facebook. You sound childish and bitter
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Just putting it out there, if you feel the need to tell your ex that you need to know what they’re doing, who they’re around, and that they need to add you on social media, you should go to counseling. That is toxic and controlling. They have a right to their privacy and do not need to check in all the time, regardless of your anxiety. They shouldn’t need to tell you all the details of their life to suit your needs. It’s a control issue, not an anxiety issue.
This is coming from someone who has been on the end that all information is “required for the sake of the child to make sure they are safe”. It’s just another controlling tactic to make them tell you about their life. You are ex’s. You need to co-parent. Not know every detail of your ex’s life. If your child is coming home happy, healthy, and safe then that’s all that matters.
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And that’s why he won’t add you and you can’t make him.
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He’s you ex for one you want it too bad for two and three he doesn’t owe you social media…
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So, I wouldn’t give you access to social media if you were acting like this. As mothers, we are protectors of our kids but the two of you are not together any longer, therefore he doesn’t have to answer to you. As hard as that is to hear, it’s true. If you really feel like your child is in danger, you need to get a custody agreement in order if you haven’t already. A judge will determine what’s in a child’s best interests and go from there.
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What you have to understand is that you are not his “friend” and he doesn’t want a relationship with you, he wants a relationship with his child. You don’t need to be added to his social media to know what’s going on with your child while they are together. If you’re truly concerned about your child’s welfare, then talk to an attorney. If you just don’t want him and his child to have a life away from you, get over it.
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Yeah, I’m sure that’s all you want to do… 
. But he does not have to add you on social media… Are you even sure he posts her on there? If this is what the court agreed to give him every other weekend, if so, I’m sure they know about his “shady past”. Also, has she ever come home hurt or with bruises or anything? If not, it just seems like you are trying to start shit. If your daughter is old enough to be talking in full sentences you can always ask about her weekends and what they did. If you really can’t trust him, take him back to court or at least talk to a lawyer about this… there isn’t anything necessary for him to add you., maybe you should reevaluate the real reason as to why you want him to add you on social media 
Court would tell you to mind your business
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If you are concerned for your childs well being while its their time with their father, you can take more adult steps to ensure safety than worrying about his social media account. Send law enforcement for a welfare check. File concerns with child protective services. If the child truly is in danger over there, they will grant you full custody on an emergancy basis then you file court papers. You are appearing more worried about his personal life than your child by not trying to do anything other than spy on him.
Ma’am, you’re crazy.
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You don’t need to be social media friends to communicate.
You can call or text.
If there is a real safety issue, you can address that at court.
Social media is irrelevant.
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If i was him tho …i wouldnt add u either …just call
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Not sure what sm has to do with it. Sounds like you don’t want your kid to go over because you’re on a power trip. Your way or nothing. As much as it sucks, it’s his time. You’re wanting to know his exact everything and that’s not cool. I’m sure you don’t message him letting him know exactly what you’re doing and when you’re doing it. If you’re really worried about it, go to court🤷♀️ but don’t be a jerk to the dad bc yall didn’t work out. Let him be a dad and stop trying to control everything
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My child…it’s both of your child
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My youngest sons donor cried to the judge because I have him blocked on here. Judge laughed at him.
Sounds like you’re more interested in keeping tabs on him, not your child’s well being…
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Do u think if he was doing something shady when he has his child he would post it on social media? No. So there’s no point.
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He won’t add you because you want to keep tabs on him. You sound phyco. If you don’t let your daughter see her dad because you have control issues he’s gonna take you to court and he will get whatever he wants. Grow up.
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I understand your feelings, But he doesn’t have to add you to his social media. No court will force that. They will tell you to mind your business.
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I don’t have my ex on social media, Never wanted to.
Our arrangement is “business” only business I care about is our child, I don’t care about his personal life.
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I’m mind blown this is even a question? Leave the man alone. He has every right to be with his child without any interference, control attempts and harassment from you. You need to look into therapy on how to move on with your life. And let me just say it…your inability to deal with knowing your ex is done with you and moving on is going to totally screw up your child mentally. And all blame for it will rest solely at your feet.
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So he doesn’t need to add u to social media that’s what a phone is for if u want to check up on ur daughter while the dad has her. If ur concerned past that take it back to court. People were co parenting before the internet and social media existed. When he has her thats his time u really don’t need to know what he does unless it’s a safety concern then like I said take it back to court if that’s the case. So what if he dates someone else u aren’t together it would be no different than u bringing anyone around her that he may not like. Its 2022 get over urself if his past was that much of a concern or issue then it could of been handled ans brought up in court think about that. U had a child together u have to be civil for her sake doesn’t mean u need to be friends or like what the other parent does during their time together.
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Social media doesnt have anything to do with it. You can call him and check on her
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Something to hid or control!
Stay alert and call CPS if any concerns
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But seriously, if he was up to something shady u really think he gunna be posting about it on social media? Nice excuse, u just want to spy and he knows it lol
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