My mom always said “I don’t care how old you are, when you turn 18, you’ll still be under my roof so you’ll follow my rules.”
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Well to me taking care of a child doesn’t end at 18years old. So I personally wouldn’t be making my child pay to stay but the boyfriend 100% can help out with his own groceries and stuff. They are also old enough to help out with the cleaning around the house. That’s what I would ask for, either money for groceries or he can go buy his own. And they can both clean up after themselves
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Let her go figure life out
Sounds like shes trying to manipulate you with guilt.
It’s not your responsibility. Shes an adult, she needs to learn consequences
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If she wants to stay with you then she needs to pay rent. Doesn’t have to be a lot but unless she is going to school she needs to contribute. She also needs to start looking at getting a full time job. Depending on the state she may not be able to rent an apartment till she is 19.
You have to show tough love momma, come and go as you please and put a lock on the refrigerator and cabinets I would even turn off the water/ electricity when you leave. You love your daughter but at the end of the day she is the kid and YOU ARE THE ADULT 
I promise at the end of all the bs she will love you and be thankful you did what you did she might not appreciate it now but when she gets wiser she will. 
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I would charge them clear and regular rent make it fair then use half for Bill’s and save half ( dont tell them ) for help to move out if it works out that way .
I promise you…if you set your foot down…and tell this 18 yr old daughter what you EXPECT out of her at 18…she will Not die. She will Not be on the street. And this new boyfriend? She needs to dump him Fast. In this day and age…kids better eat whatever their parent(s) are telling them. It’s a ugly evil world out there. The boyfriend went back home and left her high and dry. She needs to buckle up or face life the HARD way. I’m telling you…hold your ground and do not let her disrespect you in any way. And yes…she has to get a full time job and contribute. Pay the water or electric or something! Show her the bill.
Nothing she is 18. And not to mention think she’s a grown woman sexually active and such you shouldn’t feel the pain if I being homeless if you put her out you put her in him up for months
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You’re daughter is your daughter no matter you’re financial situation. However she needs to start learning how to care for herself…its a harsh world out there.
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My mother started charging me rent at 16, i was made to pay for my own gas, my own insurance, and keep good grades. My mom saved all the money and when I was 18 I had a choice go to school and live off that or use it to get a place. My mother taught me how to budget, save, and be self reliant. Idk what world you think we are living in but I am not a bank account I am raising small humans to be ADULTS. They might fall and need help i will always be there but I am supposed to be teaching my child to be self reliant. My four year old makes his own cereal… pop corn… my six year old unloads the dish washer and loads it… same with the washer and dryer… my two year old knows how to feed the dogs and the
Hamsters… they all know how to dress themselves and even how to start a shower and get their own towel… and i love my children more then life… i still have very bonded relationships with them and they even sleep with me sometimes… stop babying adult children… hahaha 18 and not helping with bills… idfts
Let her go fall on her face and she will come back. He has got to go and you gotta make some ground rules. You aren’t an ATM, or a maid or butler. Your ADULT child caused your boyfriend to move out, um no. Tell her what you expect if she can’t handle that there is the door. Full time job. And to help you however you might need it if she wants to live with you.
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I’m sorry but that crap will not play on my TV. If she is old enough to have a boyfriend, she is old enough to either contribute or pay some bills. As long as you support them, they will camp out.
Read the book “Boundaries” By Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend
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Hand her a breakdown of your bills for one month. show her what paying 2/3 of it (for her and boyfriend) has been costing you, compared to what it would be if you lived alone. Tell her you want her and bf to pay at least 1/3 of the bills (1/2 if you’re not feeling generous lol) until they find their own place. It’s a steal for them and they can’t complain about it because you’ve been paying everything full time now as long as you’ve been a parent, but esp since he moved in.
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Tell her he has to leave and if she goes with him that is her decision . She is trying to make u feel bad . Your the mother
I have twin girls when they left college they always paid me something towards electricity, they always bought their own food,buying own food was their decision. They asked if I was happy with that
Plus helped out with some jobs ,I was a single parent as well like person who wrote the post.they saw how hard it was as their father hardly paid any maintenance. I paid something to my parents from 15 onwards but that was the way it was years ago and was only happy to do it.I knew people years ago who were very well off,their sons paid them something,what they didnt know was it was being put into a savings account, they then had money for deposit for flats.They said would be paying money if they didn’t live at home.I actually showed my girls my incoming and outgoings they to be honest was best thing I did. You don’t stop being a parent through all their lives but they have to learn responsibilities .Time for her to stop moaning about things why shouldn’t she get a job.There were times when they were the only ones who had a proper meal,due to dad not paying maintenance girl must have seen how hard it was for her mum.Sounds as if mum is being bit soft,its sad that boyfriend had to move out because of what was going on with her daughter,poor lady wont have a life of her own if situation still carries on.I actually knew someone who was brought up in an orphanage and at 18 they had to leave. They had people who would have these people, they were given a few months money to help out after that it was down to them.My friend found a job within 2 wks and has never been out of a job since.
When I was 18 I moved in with my bf but I contributed with the cleaning and making sure his room was always tidy when I got a job I helped out with the lights sometimes
Don’t let her gaslight you momma. If she isn’t in school or saving her money for a place she needs to be paying her fair share there. Same with the boyfriend. They should certainly be supplying their own needs.
If she does want to pay then she has to go’ taking advantage of ones mom is not ok she should be looking g out for you seeing you took care of her her whole life so far you doing the right thing she cant mooch of forever. Dint let her mom guilt you if any one should feel guilty it’s her this is her own doing time for her to take responsibility for her actions
Sorry, your daughter needs to pay RENT, especially if her & her partner are living together; under parents roof! Or hit the road!
Sorry, I was brought up to start paying bills or rent; nothing is free in this world!! TOUGH LOVE!
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She don’t want to help you let her get a taste of them streets she will be begging you to come back and help and if she don’t then you don’t let her come back move your partner back in an call it a day. She grown now don’t feel like your obligated to take care of her and if her and the boyfriend want to play house let them get their own place…you can’t stay anywhere for free even at your parent’s house!
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Stand your ground. Kick him out and tell her if she wishes to go with him that’s fine but tell her you’re not kicking her out so if she makes herself homeless that’s on her. She definitley won’t intentionally make herself homeless, she will come back when she realises how good she’s got it. She’s just trying to scare you. At 18 I was working full time and paying my mom and dad £100 a month. Not much but that’s all they asked for.
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If shes grown enough to move her boyfriend in, they can pay rent or move out!!! That’s BS!!
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Sounds kind of like my little step sister with my dad and step mom. She wont work, has wrecked my dads truck multiple times and anytime she gets with someone she moves out that week and is back within a couple months. Shes 21 and my dad has been her dad for 5 years. They are tired of it and she moved out on fathers day this time. They told her not to come back. They are tired of supporting her and her s/o
As someone who “left” to live on my own at 19 like that, it didn’t last long. She’s manipulating you. She’ll come back because she’s not going to really choose to live on the streets. & then when she comes back you can give the terms she help some. My parents & I have a great relationship now I’m 26 I’m fully financially responsible for myself, have my own home pay everything myself & even help them sometimes. Don’t let her play you.
My mum booted my irresponsible ass out at 15. It did the world of good for me! Taught me some damn manners and respect too which your daughter sounds like she needs!
I would tell the BF TO PAY FOR HER AN UR DAUGHTER RENT AN MAKE SURE SOME OF THE LIGHTBILL IN IT AN WATER BILL OR split the rant light bill and water bill in 4 ways if they did notpay w they have to go
All grown asses OUT! You dont PAY, you cant STAY. Let’em go out and get their own spot, then they will see they cant lay up"NOWHERE" for free! Dont let the "mommie guilt"get next to you, because you are actually helping her/them get a dose of reality.
If she feels she grown enough to be living with a boy then she old enough to pay her way . I never allowed my daughters boyfriend to stay over . My boys turned 18 and they had to pay rent and their gas . When they were ready to be on their own by their choice we gave them all that money back that they had been paying us for rent . Every penny was put away for them for this day
Aht aht aht!!!
That’s the pity card!
You never said she had to leave too, not once! She made the choice to want to leave bc she wants to be with him. Well maybe you should sit down and have that talk with her about what a man should bring to the table. He can’t find THEM a place bc he doesn’t want the responsibility of providing for them both, which means in the future he will be nothing more than a couch surfer once his parents get tired of him. He isn’t looking to help her find a place for them to be together which is a red flag. Once he gets tired of his parents rules he will move on to the next girl that can provide shelter and food. Leaving her broken even though she wasn’t the one supplying him with said things bc YOU were doing It.
Sit down and have that talk with her, if she chooses to play the same card then you tell her she has to learn on her own.
My parents have never turned the other cheek when I needed help but they made It very clear It was not their job to help or take care of someone they didn’t give birth to or I didn’t give birth to.
Frankly what she’s going threw is a phase. She wants to be grown but without the responsibilities. Just make sure to let her know that you’ll be there when she falls on her face, but she’s to still maintain her part bc she’s an adult now. Make It known to her it’s not your job to financially support a person that didn’t come out of you.
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She’s manipulating you. Set your boundaries and get some counseling.
They are adult children…this is their generation 
keep your foot down bc speaking from experience…it’s time to teach them the lessons they should have already known…self sufficiency and pride in self sufficiency.
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my daughter is 21 works part time and pays towards bills in the house and does jobs round the house. Im a single mam and I think it helps prepare her for moving out. Wifi, electricity, gas, food arent free in the real world. They should both be paying towards bills.
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Dont stand for it. My mom let me live eith her, but i either cleaned up the hous every day, or i was working or going to school. And ig i was working. I was to help out with groceries and rent and bills
Nah, I made my daughter, 20 and her boyfriend pay me rent. Nothing is free. I dont charge alot. 200 a month for each of them. Now they’re saving to move out. Love ya but don’t let the door hit ya in the ass.
Mom your being played . Tell her she doesn’t have to go just him , but she has to start paying half of utilities and buying her own food. If you pay rent she should pay half or a small amount for upkeep if you own .
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Umm speak up and split the finances 3 way or have them move out. Simple… pay or go !!! Stop allowing it or it’ll never end.
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Ok so being that child that lived with mom off and on for a year after I graduated highschool. She didn’t have me pay rent or bills when I was working she had me buy the groceries cleaning supplies and I had to pay my own cell phone bill plus gas for my car or anything else I needed. She would only get me the others if it was being nice. If I was going to school I didn’t have to pay bills yet. Granted I chose to work instead not too longer after I moved out with a boyfriend and was with him for a while when things ended I went back to my mom till be and my husband met and things got serious and the rules were the same. But I had to rent the room from her. Which yes she had it low but it helped her out and I did my part, always had to clean up after myself do my own laundry get parts to fix my own car. When I moved out again and then she ended up living with me and my husband we split everything evenly except I bought most of the groceries, because I was feeding more. And then I signed my rental agreement over to her when my husband found a new job and we moved in where we are now, and even still to this day if my mom asks for help financially I will help her instantly because she helped me in some odd weird ways when I needed it. I got tough but slightly sensitive love with ultimatums and definitely not boyfriend’s were allowed to stay more than 3 times a week because it was her house not mine. Of she cannot respect that it is your house, she will never be able to live with anyone because she may live there but she doesn’t pay bills clean cook or shop and she needs to do her part in order to adjust the say on everything. I was not my mom’s easiest child but I did listen to her rules in her house as she did with mine
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Your daughter can come live with me! I’m only 27 BUT my 8 year old knows better than that spoiled ass brat. I’ve had jobs since I was 14. I bust my ass every day weather it’s at work or cleaning up around my home.
It’s part of life and responsibility. I have the same situation. I tell them they will at least help around the house or they are both out. I’m the mother not a friend, but I’ve always said this as my kids grew up. They were doing laundry at 8 yrs old so…
Personally I wouldn’t ask my daughter is help financially but she would help around the house. And boyfriend will never live under my roof.
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Teresa Shaffer u talking about my sisters lmmfao 
Tell boyfriend no , go back home
Shes just trying to get you to do what she wants. Let her go, she’ll be back or she’ll work hard and get on her feet alone. You’re doing everything you can, you can’t baby them or they’ll never leave.
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She needs to help! He needs to gtfo!
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She needs to contribute something. Her time & if not cleaning products. It’s all about teaching responsibility. Mom should not struggle raising two grown adults while they act like they’re at the Fairfield Inn.
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She is just bluffing you. How is he planning to move in with dad again (the Covid thing)! They will use you as long as your let them. Have more pride and respect for yourself, because they apparently have neither for you. Kick them out and don’t feel guilty. Live your own life not theirs. If you truly love her you’ll cut those apron strings and let her fly on her own. Praying for you.
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You done the right thing you need to worry about you you took care of her for 18 years and if she’s like the rest of them she says she’s grown so let her be grown tell her she can pay such-and-such amount how ever she gets paid weekly monthly ever 2 weeks whatever give you a certain amount to help out make it clear if she misses giving it to you then she’s out the door no ifs no buts no nothing she just playing you I’ve been through my kids and my oldest grandkids you just got to do what you got to do
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Out she goes please do it. So she will learn now Do not feel guilty. I have a 33 yr old daughter with 3 kids loved with me .I will do anything for my grandchildren I love wthall my heart. As far as my daughter we have argued for many years we have no relationship. She has hurt to the point where I’m numb and I don’t acknowledge her. She’s that bad penny I’ve thrown her out and she comes back. I support her and 3 kids and I’m on. disability she works .I don’t see a a nickel . She helps with not a dam thing
.So please she is young there is probably hope for you. Just don’t be a me. I’m moving soon 55 and over.
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Ditto, tough love just needs to happen for you’d happiness.
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She’s trying to put you on a guilt trip. Don’t fall for it!
I would askthem both this question at the same time. Where will you live when I die? Do you plan on supporting yourself any time soon?
It’s time to cut tides . Also its not your place to to support her boyfriend .
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Don’t let her guilt you! Stand your ground!
You have no boundaries. She knows it. #1 your boyfriend is not living here. #2 neither are you, unless you contribute. #3 your boyfriend was right. You disrespected him, having to cow down to another man under his room. Set some rules, yes you will feel guilty. Rather guilty. Than used.
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It’s your house… your rules.
Resort to tough love. That is the only way. Otherwise you are an enabler. They become masters at manipulating you into guilt. Give them the boot. I have 5 kids, 17 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. One daughter was like yours. Was, now she has to pay her own way. Or do without.
Tough love! I think your daughter will learn to respect you and be grateful once she has to make it on her own. Stand strong Mama and teach your daughter this life lesson so she can be better for it. It will be hard but worth it.
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You have done the right thing by asking them to move out if her boyfriend gosthats OK you are not responsible for him if your daughter says she will be out on the street say no you are willing to let her stay with you but she will have to contribute ie money and house old things if she is only part time work she as the time to help and the money as you have supported both of them in the past I feel that both of them should be looking for there own accommodation so they can find out it’s not that easy being on your own I would of thought both of them would have understood that
She can help out or get out. The boyfriend can as well. There’s no sense in 3 people working in the home and only 1 person supporting them all.
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Tough love mama. Let them go and don’t let her know it bothers you. She’ll either come back wiser or not at all.
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If you let her stay with no responsibility your making the problem worse. She needs to learn what the real world is, and if you keep letting her stay with no rent and no responsibilities your enabling her. Let her go, either she makes it and succeeds or she doesn’t and needs to come back, but I promise if she comes back she’ll come back with more respect and understanding of where you came from. Good luck! 
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Let her go lady. And you go on and live your life don’t allow her to hold you back. Children can be very selfish. 8 years ago I was in the same situation and I used tough love and put him out and his still out and sorted. And today I couldn’t asked for a better child.
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She’s just trying to guilt you. Either she goes and sees what it’s like to pay your own bills/feed yourself and learns or she flops and comes home to you with hopefully a better understanding.
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If she’s not willing to help. That’s her problem. She can be homeless. You’ve more than done your part. Welcome to the world
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Let her go she’s not gonna be homeless she just wants you to feel sorry for her they all sat there grown but when it comes time to help no help they want it for free I know igor5 kids 28 grandkids tell her pay bills something
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Sometimes you gotta give tough love she needs to understand how the world works and how expensive everything is if she could pay rent of some sort if not tough love it is!!!
Tough love 18 is when they become adults… it’s either she helps out or go live elsewhere. Just let her go and make her realize what life is all about
You don’t have to do anything else for your 18 year old child if they aren’t doing a thing for themselves. These millennials have some idea that we as parents should continue supporting them even though they are adults. I would not. I am a mother and I have put my children out because they are “grown” and you can’t be grown in someone else’s home. You don’t have to get permission from your child to have someone move in unless she was helping you pay half on bills. Now you have to struggle financially and have a relationship ruined. No, she and him have to go. She will learn. It’s called tough love.
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You just have to let her go and accept that she might hate you for a little bit. She will soon get humbled by life and understand exactly why she was wrong. Also she’s just trying to guilt-trip you she’s obviously not going to be homeless on the street. Or she’ll do it for like a night to prove something and then find out how dumb that is lol. I think in order for her to learn how to be grateful she’s going to have to be let out into the world so it can humble her.
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You are not legally obligated to pay her way through life. It hurts you, and you will feel guilty for doing so, but you need to put yourself first for once. No one else is even thinking about you and what you want and need or how you feel. I am sorry they have taken advantage of your love & generosity. Make the hard choices Mama. Put on your own oxygen mask first. 
Don’t let her guilt trip you! Stick to your words!
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I was on my own since I was 14, bc my parents chose drugs and alcohol over me. I was too young to get an actual job but I still took care of myself! I had my own place at 16, my own child two weeks before turning 17 and have raised her on my own since she was two years old. I struggled plenty of times but I survived and she will too! She sounds like she needs a good dose of reality, so she will not be so entitled! Tell her they can either help out or get out! She will realize that Mommas rent is much cheaper than having to pay rent and all the other bills on her own! Sometimes you gotta be tough bc sometimes life is tough!
She and him both need to get out and see what the real world is like. You have gone above and beyond for them and they are grown. Praying for you.
I was living with just my boyfriend at 17. They need to grow up. He worked full time in a factory and I always worked part time. He didn’t want me working full time. It’s time they fly the coop and learn some life lessons and by the sounds of it the hard way. I’m a single mom now of two kids from said boyfriend/ex-husband and there is no way in hell I will let my kids walk all over me when they are older, their asses will have jobs at 14 like I did.
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Let THEM BOTH go.
She’ll be back and appreciate you and what you have done more.
She’s 18. Time for her to put her big girl pants on and join the REAL WORLD.
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He stayed at ur place while his Dad quarantined so why can’t she stay with him for a while? Let her see what it’s like to depend on herself without Moms help.
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U tell her rents due or yes she can be homeless…don’t fall for the guilt tactic …she wants to continue to freeload off of you and she’s playing your feelings to do so !! Stand your ground …shes grown n thats how it is in the real world !!
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If she says she’ll be on the streets, remind her its her choice. Only he has to go.
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They sure say there grown but when it’s time to help out nothing do not give I let them both leave tell her you will pray for them both
They can either help pay the bills or move out. If he is working full time and her part time they can get their own place! That’s not fair that your relationship was put on the back burner after 2+ years because your boyfriend was tired of the lazy grown children. Time for them to grow up
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Daughter’s boyfriend should not moved in.
You’re the parent.
You need to set very clear and reasonable expectations. Then you need to stick to them. We have four kids. Our oldest two are 20 and 22. We made it very clear that we were in no rush to shove them out the door, but they were expected to get a job, go to college, or a combo of the two. Our daughter finished her associates degree in the spring and has transferred to a university. Our oldest son chose to work full time while he decides what he wants to go to school for. He makes his own car payment (so he can establish credit) and pays for his insurance and cell phone bill. He also sets money aside in savings so he has the funds for an apartment when he is ready. Both help around the house and with shopping/errands as needed. We would be doing them zero favors by keeping them from acting like responsible adults.
Belive me they got money to spend on there snacks and other stuff see what happens nothing free my grandaughter been working since14 and made good money and both my grandaughters work they pay elec. cable since they want WiFi and toliet paper ant free and there make up eyelashes don’t let her make you feel bad just pray for them I bet they will help at hes dads house that’s how it goes I seen it
Kick both of them out! She’s 18 & doesn’t have a child of her own so she has no excuses! She’s an adult & it’s time to throw her ass into the real world! Be a mom for christ sake!
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Either they split half of the bills like a roommate or they can both go together 
Um kick them out. When I was 18 I had to have a full time job and pay rent in order to live at my house and abide by my parents rules. If I had an issue with that I had to move out.
What are you teaching her by letting her continue as she has?
Tell them both they need to start paying rent & their fair share of utilities or kick them out. Can’t keep letting them walk all over you.
Till them if they stay 1/3 of are to be paid by. Both of them
Tell her to start helping out or get out. Tell him to hit the road.
Tell them to help with food dish washing clen up after themselves or get out stay out
Pay for their own way in the world
Um kick them to the curb…really. Not ok
Pay rent or get out. Period.
Agree. Let her go. No need for you to kill yourself and break your back supporting two other adults that are able to work.
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I was kicked out my senior year of high school and learned to live on my own very quickly. Show them the door… I now have 4 children of my own. Oldest will be 21 in November. She went into the military 3 months after graduation. My soon to be 18 yr old(in November)was just told yesterday if he doesnt do well and try to graduate he will be out the door. Hes welcome to live at home as long as he graduates and gets a job to help with Bill’s. If he goes on to school(college) he wont be required to help financially.
Help out or get out…
PERIOD.
Ultiamatum help with Bill’s or move out
its called hard love . make her stand on her own too feet .
With the whole COVID pandemic should be an eye opener to all.,… family is everything. This world has everyone so programmed that we must be kick our family out and turn our backs on one another. Coming from an only child , it hurts when a mother does this. Honestly it broke me to where I didn’t see life worth living and almost committed suicide. I didn’t have income and anything my husband worked for we helped it was not our plan to be living with my mom after I got married but god had other plans… anyhow anything we could do we helped. I strongly believed that we never pushed our loved ones away but stayed together to be stronger, especially in times as now. We are stronger together then divided… maybe just have a heart to heart with them both. We need family. 
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