sounds like your daughter is just 13 and in that teenager phase where she doesn’t give a f*
if the men you bring home really adore you, they won’t care how your daughter is acting and will side with you. pick better men that don’t run easily?
sounds like your daughter is just 13 and in that teenager phase where she doesn’t give a f*
if the men you bring home really adore you, they won’t care how your daughter is acting and will side with you. pick better men that don’t run easily?
Tell the spoilt brat that you will act the same way when she brings friends around let her know her behaviour is wrong not because it pisses you of or embarrasses you just that it is wrong she is a disgusting pig if she thinks wiping snot on a wall is normal or get them back where it hurts on social media video her doing it then post it make her actions bite her not you
Whoever laughed at this is a pos and a terrible parent.
Maybe she thinks she is going to lose you to someone …maybe her dad cheated or left mom for another woman…lots of questions but your daughter didn’t ask to be here…tend to her needs first.
It’s super dangerous bringing men that aren’t your daughters father around her. Child abuse is 40 times more likely when you find a new partner. So I would wait until you 110% know.
I tried to wreck my mums relationships too. 1 as a child and even teen i didnt understand the impact of this on my mum. All i saw was the people she dated werent my dad. And i wanted him nobody else
And 2… the right people will make an effort with her no matter how much she tries to push them away.
Warn the next date your little girl is cheeky and does such things when I bring dates home maybe next chap will ignore her until she sees his not going anywhere fast!
Honestly there’s nothing you can do… find a strong man I guess.
I was 15 when my mom started dating a man and I was bogus to him . I admit I was, it was wrong. But he took it and never gave up and now it’s been 12 years since and we have a great relationship.
Tell her friends that she does these things and that will stop it quick.
She is not ready to see another guy with her mom .don’t bring any guys to your house
Disrespectful kid… You keep letting her so she keeps doing it
Maybe you should sit down with your daughter and talk to her about and how it really makes her feel?
I did not bring my fiancé around my children, even though they knew him because we worked together for a while, for a while. And then I told him that my teenage daughter was prone to violent angry outbursts. That has since stopped once she figured out she could not scare him off.
Depending on how long you have been divorced, she probably just wants your attention alone. It seems like she doesn’t want to share you with anyone. Or maybe she saw what you and her dad went through and she doesn’t want to see you get hurt. I’m just throwing things out there that could possibly be why she doesn’t want you dating anyone.
Sounds like she has seen a few come & go maybe she is blaming you for the divorce unfairly never the less this is her truth her dad needs to establish to her it was he who wanted the divorce even though she is 13 she isn’t at the point of sharing her mom like she has had to share her dad she comes first always get a sit down discussion with you & her dad he bares the responsibility of clearing this matter up don’t bring anyone else into the home you share with your daughter if she has visits with her dad overnight then have your man over divorce is difficult for adults more so to 13yr old
maybe focus on her instead of dating
As a child who reacted badly to my step parent. It was a mix of things .
Seeing my mom with someone who wasn’t my father.
Being a step kid and not wanting that to happen.
Not wanting to lose my mom to date nights with him because she didn’t do special date nights with me.
It’s not that I wanted to be most important but I didnt want her new man to be more important than my sibs and I.
There’s more to this than a bratty child. She’s in pain.
Don’t bring him home until you know him well enough to explain how your daughter is acting. That’s probably the best way even without her acting out. If the relationship progresses, if he truly cares enough, he won’t care how she acts!! He will try to make her like him. Men who give up that easy aren’t the type of men you won’t in the long run anyway.
I’m not saying you should not date, but I 1000% believe that you should NOT be bringing ANY man home and around your daughter, period. Unless you have been with the man for a long time, it’s quite serious, and he hasn’t been weirdly antsy to meet your daughter or seems really interested in meeting her. Mother’s who bring boyfriends and men around their children, far too often, have tragic and horrible things happen. There are even men out there who target women and date them just to get to their children. Again, go ahead and date but please PLEASE don’t bring your dates or boyfriends home and around your children.
You’re putting your kid thru a life. Sorry to say. Married someone like your daughter and after all the stories I’ve heard, ya, that’s YOUR fault.
I would keep your dates away if u know she acts weird about it. She seems to have a hard time adapting to u with other people. I wouldn’t push it on her. She’s use to u being with her dad maybe. So she may be feel betrayed by u even though it wasn’t your choice. I would let her know your dating and be honest but don’t force her to be around them if she’s not ready for that. I would never make my kid uncomfortable for a fuking date or for some fukn dick… what the hell man. She don’t wanna be involved with the fukn date.
Sounds to me maybe keep your private adult encounters @ the partners home until she may be comfortable with it… I know nothing about your situation I’ve been happily married for 13 years … but as a child of divorce give her time she will learn to manage the changes …you deserve to be happy but maybe see if you can get to the root of her feelings…plan a mother daughter day …maybe she’ll open up to you…it’s rough on the children of divorce I understand that the parents are the ones who are actually going through the roughest parts but kids see,hear & feel every emotion along the way …
Perhaps you bring them round too quickly?
Dating is easier if you’ve introduced them to your child first?
I’m not saying you’re not entitled to date, however, date them for a year before you bring them round your child. She’s threatened by a new man. You’ve been divorced for 5years. That’s a long time for her to have you all to herself. And she doesn’t want to get emotionally attached to a potential stepparent and disrespect her father. Or risk them walking away again like her father did.
First off I would say I’m not sure of these occurrences and the time and space in between your dating. Unless you’re getting very serious about somebody I would bring her out with you. That way you can explain to somebody that you are very only very seriously considering a relationship with her history. I can tell you my kids try to get me out of a relationship with my husband, their step dad and I had to set boundaries with them. In the long run I knew it was best because he is a good man and any concerns they brought up were not about ny abuse or neglect. It’s just pure immaturity on their part because they were kids not anything that you wouldn’t expect. But I had to make sure that my kids knew that I love them and that they would have to just try to get along. He worked so much because he worked on commission so it was hard when he came home and blend as a family. He always treated them well and now they just love him of course this is 20 years later I understand a lot more because they’re older. 13 is a tough age regardless and it just might be best to date and not have guys meet her until you’re at the relationship part where you really are seriously thinking about a commitment down the road.
How many “serious” relationships can you possibly have in just 5 years? (I dated my now husband for more than 2 years before I even introduced him to my daughter)
She likes it the way she has it now , mama all to her self!
I’d really like to know how many you have brought home to meet her because I think that will answer this all… but if none of them have been willing to continue after her charades than they obviously aren’t step father material. Try talking to your daughter. Completely understand you wanting to be happy and you deserve that but make sure your daughter is being your top priority.
Honestly…she would lose alot of stuff…disrespect not an option. She isn’t the parent. No phone, iPad, computer, internet…etc… and if she doesn’t know how to act around your company, she wouldn’t be allowed to have anyone around she wants over either. Respect goes both ways. She would be grounded.
Is your daughter very close to her father?
So many things but if he’s scared away by those he’s not the one lol also it sounds like she’s tried expressing her feelings and doesn’t feel heard so she is now expressing herself this way. Also you said it’s been 5yrs but just how many men have you brought home in that time bc tbh this makes it sound like a lot soooo that could definitely contribute. Pretty sure she is not “jealous” you aren’t with her dad either but upset or angry mb I’d also be curious what the reason for his leaving was and how much she knows about it and what her relationship with him is also what is your relationship with him like now? All factors I’d say. But I’ll say at 13 she needs you and not a bf spend the time with her now at this age and worry about the rest later
Don’t focus on the negative behavior, focus on the good things, behavior
I think she’s making a quite obvious what to do. It’s important to remember that her life was shattered and completely changed during the divorce as well. Even the most civil divorces the children can still see and feel the pain. Again she’s a child they don’t call their girlfriends or talk to friends about the feelings they’re having or what’s going on they don’t know how to comprehend them they just know their bodies are not right. You can talk to people about your divorce system get advice and reach out kids just have all those emotions bouncing around inside of them. She has no idea what the emotions are or what’s going on no way to get them out of release them unanswered questions. She wants stability she wants reassurance and most importantly she wants your attention. I’ve been a single mom since my daughter was 3 years old. Do I miss being in relationship absolutely. Is it hard to sacrifice yourself so your child grows up feeling safe, secure and most importantly comfortable in their home NOT AT ALL. children are smarter than us adults. You bring a stranger to them in your home and for all you know a stranger to you how well do you really know people these days? The amount of sexual predators that prey on minors and the trafficking of Young children that goes on nowadays there’s not a chance I would bring someone into my home. I hope you realize that a man or a relationship doesn’t make you happy. Your child should be more than enough to keep you happy but if you think a man is going to do it you do that on your own time not around her in my opinion. I think you’re missing some really big red flags and I think your daughter is holding a lot in. You’re going to hate it when they’re about 14 or 15 and your time together gets less and less cuz they’re busy being teenagers and you’re going to wish you had every minute. Trust me you’ll have plenty of time to date and do you when she’s a teenager (I would suggest drinking during those years as well ). You think you got 18 years but by 13 or 14 just saying their name irritates them, when they do talk to you they are so irritated by you you don’t even want to talk, you’re constantly reminded that you know nothing and that’s not how the world is now and the only time you really need it is to find out where your favorite jeans are or to give them 15 rides a day. Find yourself and invest time into your daughter she’s begging you.
Right now you need to raise your dtr and in 5 yrs you can fig. Out a man!
If a man can’t understand that a 13yr old might rebell, they arent ready to step up and help parent a 13yr old…
That can be scary even for a teen (fear of rejection maybe?) and may be why acting out. I’m glad she is in therapy.
If the man really loves you they can’t be scared of tactics that teens can pull. If he isn’t that understanding then he shouldn’t be meeting your daughter anyways.
Be happy with yourself and your child, before you try to “make” yourself happy with some guy… u have a child for less than 18 yrs and they are gone… u seem very selfish if I’m being honest! Clearly you have a pre-teen begging for your attention and you call her disgusting? I’d very much say otherwise! You are about two years away from her deciding to run wild… than you’ll complain about that, instead of focusing on her(#"disgusting behavior ") now and choosing men over her, wait until when she is at least 18 and grown. Sorry but I have no sympathy for your attitude, but I do for ur daughter and hope she doesn’t grow up thinking her mom chose men over her… cause that’s what it sounds like from this post.
Im probably going to get attacked for saying this but she is rude and disrespectful. Pussy footing around trying to find reasons to take away her accountability… behaviour issues would exist all the time not just when mum brings a partner home. She behaves disgustingly because she only cares about what she wants not what her mother wants. Should we all sit back and condone blatant disrespect. And yes I’m a divorced mother with 2 of my kids additional needs . The marriage ended under horrific and traumatic experiences for all of us. Doesn’t equal freedom to be rude and disgusted to others . My kids are kind to all which I’ve been an example to them of .
I too wish I could stop people coming to my house sometimes, I will try your daughter’s tactics seeing as they are working.
An important thing to note, how many “dates” have you brought home to meet her? Secondly she could possibly feel you are trying to replace her dad and thirdly maybe she isn’t ready to let another person into yours and her current family dynamic…either way you need to get to the root else it will definitely start getting worse.
End of the day her behavior is something she is missing
Maybe her behaviors are a cry for help. Assure her that potential boyfriend is not going to come between you two. Take your daughter out somewhere special. Communicate.
I personally would wait until the relationship is more serious before being a new partner home. Serious to the point you talk about the ugly sides of life (not just your divorce) Then warn them your daughter will struggle and the things she might do before it happens.
If the relationship is going to go anywhere it will out see your daughters actions. If you’ve brought multiple people home to me it sounds like you’re introducing them to your child far too soon.
Your daughter is struggling and needs to grieve the divorce too. Plus you can’t blame a relationship not working out purely on your daughters actions. If they where worth their weight then they would stick around and help
Maybe she thinks you have terrible taste in partners … take a hint… have you been in therapy mama?
Maybe dont bring “so many” guys around your young daughter if its something that keeps happening she clearly has some security concerns and You need to validate her
A good fella would understand and help you while she by passes this stage
It’s tough when there are kids involved. I wouldn’t be so quick to introduce her to people. I have 3 girls and they have only met one guy I have dated in the past. I sat mine down and told them that I really see a future with this guy and it’s important to me that you like him as well. My girls told me that as long as I happy, they will support me.
It’s really hard for kids to see their mom with someone else besides their dad, especially girls. I don’t think she is mad because you aren’t with her dad, it’s just difficult to bring someone new into her life and what’s more, someone else is taking your attention away from her. I always remind my girls that they always come first but I deserve to be happy too.
So you want to think about getting serious with a guy while you have a TEENAGER. And the guy can’t handle her acting like a TEENAGER and you are saying SHE is the problem? No disrespect towards you but you need to look at the type of men you are trying to get serious with .
That kind of disrespect deserves it given right back. Take her phone, ground her, give consequences for actions like that. Letting it slide isn’t going to be good for either of you.
She will always need her mom but she also needs boundaries. If she doesn’t like it, she can live with her dad and see if that’s better. Maybe she will begin respecting you because boundaries show you respect yourself.
I used to do the same thing at 11. My mom and I were alone for a very long time and had a great relationship.
So it felt like no one was good enough for my mom and feared a new man would ruin what we had.
She wants you to herself. She’s lost her dad, basically, and in her mind if you get into a serious relationship she will lose you to him. So she does these things to make sure you will always be with her. Kids do this. You have to warn your date ahead of time to what she is going to do so he is prepared. If he doesn’t cringe from the things she’s doing she may eventually come to trust him, because that is what it’s all about. She needs to trust that he will not leave if she lets him into her heart.
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How about stop bringing men home and give your daughter some time to have just you she’s having to adjust to an entire new way of life give her time
You do not bring ANYONE around your daughter unless youve fully explained to the person, SHE come first no matter HOW she acts.
Stop bringing different people home ,that will probably be the reason . Take a step back date men by all means but I wouldn’t be introducing anyone to my kids until I was 1000 percent sure things were at a serious stage maybe 6months to a year. Take more time for your daughter let her come to you .
Then don’t bring them home evidently she not ready to move on. Continue dating outside the home…
Sorry but funny
KIDS SMH DO THE DARNDEST THINGS
Maybe focus more on your daughter rather than men ! She’s at a vulnerable age probably feels uncomfortable with all the men you bring home !
I’d suggest not bringing guys home to quickly. Also if you do get serious talk to her, that way she understands how much you like a guy. Also maybe ask her what she’d like to do, bowling, ice skating ect arrange it so she meets him but she also has your attention. Your including her in the decision to add this man to the family.
Probably stop bringing men around your child. I’d like to think as a mother tov3 GIRLS, it wouldn’t be wise to bring every man you meet, around your daughter? What even makes since about that? you’re mad at your daughter because she doesn’t wanna see mommy with a strange man/men? That’s fucking weird
you should probably get your priorities straight before crying to a bunch of randoms on social media about how you basically can’t stand your teenager cuz she doesn’t want no one but daddy.
If it’s meant to be he will stick around
Also, don’t bring home so many guys😖 it’s very cringy and she’s 13…
Stop bringing men home please
Why are you introducing her to these dates? She’s a 13 year old child. She doesn’t need to know everyone you are involved with. I was “that” child and can remember doing the same stuff because I was so sick of the rotation of men that wasn’t good enough for my mom. Take time to be her mom. That’s all she needs.
Lmao burping and farting are a normal human thing if the man can’t handle that then there other problems going on. Second of all stop introducing every man to your child. They don’t need to see you jumping from partner to partner. Wait a little bit, see if the relationship is actually serious first.
Like how many men have you introduced her to?? You can’t just bring a man into your home and expect everything 2 be ok. Go out 4 dinner or something but make sure this is gonna be a for sure thing before introducing to your daughter.
So many people here jumping to attack the mom for wanting happiness, at 14 most kids are already having sex and doing their own stuff. Mom can do whatever she wants she is the adult here.
When she does that, just punish her, take her freedom and devises a way. If that doesn’t work I will personally embarrassed her in front of her friends so she learn the hard way, don’t let a teenage control your life, do you and be happy.
Dating now in days is difficult, don’t give up regardless, stay the longest you can out, maybe wait into is an exclusive relationship so they most likely understand and stick around.
Don’t have her meet anyone for along time, send her to her dad’s! Or in her room away if she wants to act like a brat
Please teach her to be empathetic with you. My sons understand me and protect me because I portray myself as a human that is sensible to the way they behave. Short statements like, “when you did this in front of this person I feel frustrated and embarrassed” can help her understand that you have feelings too. Also, the more you e.pathize with her, the mor she will empathize with you.
Coming from a child that did this…my mom chose men over me my whole life. She didn’t make time for me & her! She was working and her free time was spent with men that didn’t last & were all “serious” We both ended up alone by the time I was 18… I would suggest focusing on her and date OUTSIDE of the home! Introducing shouldn’t be done in the home either needs to be a fun positive environment, she doesn’t need to feel like someone is coming in and trying to take over. No man should be worthy enough into your home with your daughter…trust me it’s scary (especially now)
My husband now dated a lady whose daughter came over to the couch sat on his arm and farted on his arm,she was 10years old. He said he felt the heat and almost threw up! He said that’s when he knew she wasn’t the one lol! I have three daughters, around the same age as that little girl when him and I met him 7 years ago, thankfully my girls have manners! I mean they aren’t perfect but I’ll be damned if they fart ON people. They save that stuff for thier bio Dad!
That’s disgusting behavior. Sounds like Mom needs to focus a bit more on the kid and maybe date without introducing your kid! She obviously isn’t ready and deserves that respect also…. I mean it comes to a point you eventually meet someone but how many men do you get “serious” with? Geez
Fart on her pillow and give the bitch pink eye !
Are u for real??? poor girl
Wait until she is 18. Protect your child from predators or other problems men who date women with kids may bring.
Maybe take her to meet them at dinner??? And then you two go home so she feels comfortable in her own home without a stranger there first???
When the dads I have dated in the past wanted me to meet their children, we met at a public park and then I went home after!!! Then we would go out for lunch and I would go home after!!! You don’t introduce people like that in your HOME
Since YOU won’t establish her privacy for her, she’s doing it for herself. I agree with the daughter
Stop bringing men home!! I did this stuff as well and my mom still kept dating. She never found happiness with any of these men and the only thing that came from it was me being molested by one of them. Do not bring men home!! Why can’t ppl understand that give her some attention.
I did the hell out of this at her age. Consider it a good test. If he can’t handle that little bit of heat early, then he needs to get off the ride NOW!
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Why you even bringing them there? My stepdad has been with my mom since I was 6, still together but I didn’t meet him until I was 7/8 she waited to bring him around until a year later. Then we didn’t all move together until I was 12. I give my mom that she put me and my safety first and made sure she had a good guy with good intentions. Don’t have her meeting anyone until you know it’s serious serious. And I’m saying months. And do it in a restaurant or something outside of the home.
She is 13 and probably feeling a little jealous of the attention the new guys are getting from you. Make sure you are spending plenty of quality time with her.
I’m sure she also doesn’t like the idea of more changes in her life. Kids and teens do better with consistency and routine.
I would also say, that just bc you are dating someone, doesn’t mean your daughter should meet them. Unless you are both going to be committed long term, she shouldn’t be meeting random dating partners. You can tell her if and when you find someone you want to be with longterm and that person can be patient with her outbursts.
If the guy can’t handle a teenager being a teenager he doesn’t deserve the 2 of you and believe it or not once she sees the guy loves you both and is sticking around, she will stop.
I know single parenting is tough. I know it gets lonely too. I’m afraid your daughter is at the age where she‘s really needing attention from her dad. She’s also probably hoping, at least subconsciously, if you stay single and unattached, that you and her dad will get back together and be a family again… or for the first time if things were real bad between you for awhile. She’s not capable at this time of facing reality. At this point, the best thing you can do is to say nothing about her behavior. Don’t date anymore for awhile. Instead, bond with your daughter. Watch movies, have girls’ nights out, do each other’s hair and nails, play cards, talk about girl stuff. Hang out. Just be with her. Let it ride for now. She’s hurting or she wouldn’t be doing these things. When parents divorce, the kids, especially if they’re singles, go through a sort of “death in the family”. Everything they thought was sure and solid is turned upside down. They see their life will never be the same. Trying to adjust to that is a big job. Bringing in another party just stirs the pot for them and they don’t know what to think. They’re already at loose ends and now your attention is divided. Kids are resilient, but it’s better if changes come in doses they can tolerate. I speak from experience. I divorced my kids’ dad when they were pretty young. I also introduced them to a new stepdad not too long after. Luckily we had bonded very tightly beforehand so they knew he was no threat to their relationship with me, but they had their doubts about him. You know, kids are pretty smart. It could be that your daughter smells creep on some of these guys you’ve brought to meet her. So, back that dating down. Buddy up with your daughter. She needs you. Bond tight. You’ve been single for 5 years. In another 5, she’ll be 18 and won’t be subject to a large part of the nonsense that a stepdad could bring to the household. Maybe the both of you would be better served if you don’t have another man around till then. Don’t date for awhile. Until your daughter is more secure with your relationship. Then date if you must, but don’t bring anyone home. Keep it outside the house and keep it light for 5 years. You won’t be sorry.
Don’t bring men around your kids till you’ve been together for a long time.
Date someone for a long time and talk to her about them… but only introduce her to them when she asks to meet them. And don’t bring them into her home and her space while she’s there. And when they meet for the first time make it somewhere outside of the home doing something fun of her choice.
I used to do the same thing. But my mom always dated horrible men. I ran every one of them off. Maybe she senses something?
Don’t bring anyone home.
I’ll tell you from experience…I was with someone I grew up with, and thought I knew! We were together for 6 year’s, before he decided to send sexual messages to my 16 year old daughter! Thank God she showed me right away! Or something worse could have happened! I am now single for over a year. And I will not date again! Or bring any man around my 3 children! You’re bringing stranger’s around your daughter! That you don’t know at all! Good for your daughter
Stop doing that and start tending to what her actual emotional needs are from you at the moment
He should be farting and putting boogers on the wall too…
I will never understand how some of y’all can be so judgemental about someone else’s situation.
You should be waiting a very long time before kids meet partners, as a single mom your daughter is 87% more likely to be sexually abused by a partner or friends .
She wants your time and not share it
It amazes me how much nonsense parents these days tolerate from their children.
Listen to ur daughter plz …kids are smart
Tell her go live with her dad
I gotta say I agree, you shouldn’t be seeing someone for anything under a couple months before you let someone meet your kid, and tbh in your situation maybe even longer. She’s 13, not 3 or 30. She knows how to behave and right from wrong. Sounds to me like someone needs to be reminded who’s the child and who’s the parent.
Have serious talk with her and find out why she does this and explain to her that adults need to move on after divorce in order to be happy
Talk to her about it and see why?
How about stop bringing home every man you meet to your daughter and focus on her.
Sit hee down and explain to her that you understand she may be having a hard time with you dating other people and toy will always be there for her but you and her dad are not getting back together that was his choice to not be with you anymore. Also tell her you deserve to be happy again and the way she is acts around other men is not ok.
Stop bringing men home.
She’s doing you a favor seriously sounds like the men you are bring home don’t have a very personal understanding of you only a shallow understanding if these men were to be right for you they would laugh and brush it off first you need to find someone who likes kids cause obviously none of these guys get gets second maybe wait longer before you bring them home to your daughter haha she saved you from a bad relationship really you should thank her a good man wouldn’t run from this my mom had a new flavor of the night / week and I did the same shit saved her and myself a lot of trouble but she still managed to bring some really bad men into her and my home !! Wake up and be their for your daughter and stop chasing men !! Grow up
She is jealous and think another person is their to walk away
She wants your love not u loving every Tom d@@@ n Harry
Yh she wil also be jealous it not her dad but another man yet again
Mayb should wait for next Man make sure been wit him a year or 2 nd tht your solid but make time for your daughter or MORE TIME If u spend time wit her
Tht age shopping or movies home or cinema or hair or what eV out or at home same way pampering BUT 1 TO 1
she just turned teenager she wil have hormones and see friends wit their mums and dad’s mayb bein bullied by the circumstances
Mayb while doing 1 to 1 after a while so it constatance try getting her to open up
Maybe she feels you PICK MEN OVER HER