My daughter wants to hang out with her best friend but she has lice: Advice?

What offensive is the girls parents not taking care of the lice… You really need to set your foot down and talk to the mom and time your daughter start picking better friends… That is nasty and your kids needs to know young that is not acceptable living condition… if you don’t say something to the parents, then call the health department and let them…

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Is the parents in a financial situation nd can’t afford the stuff to treat her head and maybe a bit embarrassed to say or ask. I’d Chat with the mom and if she is maybe help her out and do what you did to your girls hair. But If she’s being lazy and rather not deal with it then that’s a no until she gets it treated.

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Lice is indicative of overly clean hair that can be easily moved through. They have become super resistant to over the counter treatment. You can pretreat your kids hair and control the areas of access. Don’t be afraid to ask the other parents if they have checked recently… Maybe mention you heard its going around again. Ask if its okay to check. Anyone can get it from almost anywhere and it doesn’t necessarily mean the child is being neglected. If you had trouble getting rid of it, they probably did too. Teatree shampoo and conditioner is a goid repellant, keeping hair tied tightly back also helps. There. Are also repellant sprays. Nothings :100: but being kind and helping is always better than parent shaming.

Do the kids hair for her, obviously her parents won’t.

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Over the counter stuff doesn’t work. The mom could be spinning her wheels trying to get rid of them. She needs a prescription for the lice. The pharmacy will give her some shampoo and it kills them. 10 minutes and they’re gone and you go on with life. Lol

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Take the girls on a girls pamper day. Get their hair washed and styled and get their nails done. If the girl has lice tbe stylist will tell you then you can make up an excuse to take your daughter home and then go tell the girls mom what you found out.

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Call the health department

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The key to eliminating lice is to buy a very good lice comb from a beauty supply store such as Sally’s. A huge cup of vinegar, hair clips and lots of patience. You section the hair and comb small strands SLOW and rinse comb in vinegar after every single pass with the comb. If this child’s mom is having a hard time getting her children’s lice under control she may need help combing her children’s hair and a prescription lice shampoo.

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Is that a question you need an answer to? Give me a break. How old are you, and who is the parent in your household? Read it twice and think about it. You will know the answer to that.

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Talk to the friends mother.

Once it gets in your house it is so hard to get rid of it. If you miss one egg you started a festation over again.

Talk to the mother.

:roll_eyes:

I’m sorry I would definitely not let my kids around her or her family until I knew for sure.

I had the same problem with my daughter, it was her and 2 friends that were all best friends . Long story short me and the mom of friend 2 talked and notice it was this 3rd friend that kept passing it along to them . I called the 3 rd girls mom and told her she needs to clean her daughters hair of the lice because she keeps spreading it . My daughter and friend 2 hung out all the time and never had a issue with lice unless friend 3 was around . I made friend 3 stay away from my daughter for 4 months and if I knew friend 2 was around friend 3 I wouldn’t let my daughter go over to their house she had to come to my house so I could check her hair as she walked in the door . Friend 2mom said her daughter keeps catching it because she was still hanging out with friend 3 . Well after 4 months friend 3 asked to come to my house for a sleep over . I said yeah but I’m checking her hair when she gets here . Sure enough right when she walked in I check her she was full of nits . I called her mom that wasn’t off my street yet and told her to come pick her . The mom stated she treated her hair the nits were dead . I said idgaf you supposed to pick everything out and treat you house and everything . The mom as pissed but I don’t care , lice is very hard and very expensive to get rid and she didn’t care her daughter was spreading it to ev 1 . That was 3 years ago and safe to say my daughter is longer friends with friend 3 because they were mad they got called out on their bullish*t .

Easy…heck no. Unless you spoke with the mom and knew they were lice free.

Talk to the mother and if all else fails report it

I used to work with kids and this 1 little girl had it bad and was left untreated and her poor scalp was horrible and was painful where she had to nap on 1 of the teachers lap bc it hurted her head 2 lay down we talked to the parent she didn’t treat it after we talked 2 her we had no other choice but 2 call cps on her the worker came took pictures that same day after the worker left I went 2 the store bought what the pharmacy recommended 4 it i also bought a hair net 4 myself went back 2 work and washed her hair she was so happy that she didn’t have 2 itch her head anymore and I put ointment on her scalp so it can heal. Talk 2 the parents and tell them ur concerns

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It’s not offensive to say to the parents…I am sorry your child cannot come over until her lice is gone…that’s like saying…i don’t wanna offend them by telling them their daughter can’t come stay with the flu…its your duty as a parent to keep your children healthy if that offends someone so be it…do her parents even know? Or does everyone just not mention it while they struggle to delice their own family? 1st of all there needs to be a talk with the parents…2nd of all…u could offer to help them rid of their child’s lice that would be the best solution

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Ok wait here. I am giving you a home remedy which will not only help your kids but you can share and help others. Results will be seen in 1 day but you just do it 3-4 time to be sure that it will not come back. LADIES PLZ READ and kindly share.

Take 3-4 lemon, remove it juice in a bowl,add 3-4 tablespoon of Dettol. Mix well.apply on the hair from root to end. Live for an hour. Wash n shampoo your hair. Results you will see in 1 day. All the best. Plz help your kid frnd too. Hugs!

Talk to the mother! Maybe she’s having a hard time dealing/getting rid of it and embarrassed to ask for help. You obviously know how to get rid of it so step in and help her.

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Yea not only lice but the eggs will go too. Good luck

Bs she’s probably being neglected call proper authorities anonymously welfare check

Spray Lice shield in all your kids hair before letting the little friend come over

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My advice would be to speak to her parents and if they are ok with it maybe make it a girl’s day and do both of their hair together, I know not your child not your responsibility but as a girl who grew up with this issue because my bio mom didn’t care maybe it would be a blessing to her and then the girls can play happily together!! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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You need to talk to the mom. It isn’t fair bc of a living situation that your daughter doesn’t get to hang out with her friend and vice versa. As mom, you need to understand what might be going on in their household that may be causing this (for example: my family and I got lice when I was in middle school bc we lived in an apartment building/old Victorian that was divided up and gave a ride to a single mom and her toddler. Didn’t know, but the toddler was infested with lice and the whole complex got infested-we had it for months bc of something out of our control). They have chemical treatment facilities that can help with special cleaning and killing on lice on ppl. Then companies that can do the same. Don’t put out your friends daughter bc of a simple solution for the betterment of everyone.

So obviously you’re going to have to talk to the mamma about this issue especially if DD is calling that little girl her best friend so its not like shes just going to quit talking to her/hanging out with her as well as wanting sleepovers again eventually with her. I like the commenters who say to treat the Little girl yourself but i feel that would be counterproductive if the little girls mother isnt taking care of the problem on her end of things. So just get it over with and talk to the lady. You dont have to be mean about it. You could say something along the lines of "hey im (childs name) mom, my daughter loves having play dates with your daughter and she’s great to have around im just not sure if your aware or not that your daughter has lice… Give her an opportunity to say yeah or nay then you’ll know how to proceed from there
“Yeah, but im having a hard time eradicating them” ask if she could use your help
“No, thank you for telling me i had no idea” give a few weeks for the problem to be resolved.
If it seems like she doesn’t care and knows of the issue then id only allow playdates outside and no sharing anything hair related. Just remember to pull DD hair back into a bun before allowing her outside to play with the little girl and you should be ok/ wont have the lice problem again…

No! Forget offending the mom, she should be making sure her kids are rid of lice! :nauseated_face:

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Nope…what you want that in your home too? In your dayghtwrs hair, yours? Talk to the friends mom.

Don’t do it. It’s so easy to get lice. No won’t hurt her. It’s just until the friend gets rid of them. It’s not fun having to strip and wash EVERYTHING in your home when that happens.

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I would talk to the school or the mother directly if you’re able to. If it’s an ongoing issue it’s needs addressing anyway.

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When my daughter was in early elementary she was always hugging her friends…:smirk: and in return you got it she’d bring home new friends… it was horrible… I started putting tea tree oil or eucalyptus oil in her shampoo and conditioner and bam it worked for us!!!

Absolutely not. No ifs, ands or butts. When school begins again this girl needs to be called into the nurses office so that this situation could be addressed. We don’t know what kind of living conditions this girl lives in but obviously her guardian is not doing their part in raising her in a clean environment.

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Talk to the mother and tell her there was lice going around at school (that way she doesn’t take it offensive) and ask her if she’s checked her daughter and that you just wanna make sure before her daughter comes over because you just went through hell getting rid of it. Tell her you would love to have her over after she’s checked just to make sure. Then when she comes over double check her hair… hope this helps

I’d talk to the child’s mom. She should have dealt with the lice problem instead of letting her child spread it to other children

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Honestly, being a kid who had lice alot myself it was hard for my mom to get rid of it because A) My hair was and still is thick AF B) My hair was and is past my butt and C) My school was infested.

If you know how to get rid of them please contact the mom and offer your help she may be greatly appreciated.

I know there is a product callet NitX or LiceX I cant remember but you have to cover the head let it sit then go through with a nit comb.

Simple - H to the No. until that problem is fixed

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Nope! I’m sure they must know they have lice and this is easily spread amongst children

I would never even consider it. If mom asked why, I would let her know.

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You wouldn’t let her hang out with her friend if she were sick this is just the same as catching the flu from someone, explain that her friend needs to get better first. Why is this a question anyway? Do you really want to chance having to take care of your daughter and treat her for lice?

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Tea tree oil …use it on the friend…it works for all kinds if bugs it kills.spiders too. Put some drops in the shampoo. Offer her some Idk

How is this even a question? Your family’s health is far more important than a play date. If she always has lice, there’s something wrong with the cleanliness of her household and her personal hygiene.

Her parent/guardian should be reported to dyfus, cps, whatever child protection agency is in your state if they can’t get it together.

You are lucky it was just lice (that’s bad enough) - imagine she brought bedbugs or roaches over on her playdates, too.

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No wtf lol that’s nasty asf . Call cps honestly lol

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You just need to talk to her mom

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Keep her away they will just get offended if you asked .Tuff for your girl.

I just went through this THREE times from my daughters friend. First time she gave it to just my daughter…or so I thought. Fast forward a couple weeks and it’s two days before spring break and my oldest daughter now has it! Stupid me didn’t have all the kids treated the first time it was in the house. So the 2nd time I treated everyone in the house, including myself. I wasn’t messing around. Then I also retreated everyone while we were on spring break with the oil! Finally we are good and lice free…fast forward a couple mos and the same friend came over and yet again gave one of my kids lice :woman_facepalming:t3: So I again paid an arm and a leg to have everyone treated at our local lice nanny and to be safe had them treated again at our checkup and have not allowed the kid around again.
Until I can see the girl is lice free and or treat her head myself she isn’t coming over!
I think the girl knows she has it because every time we ask to check her head or treat her she seems to all of a sudden have plans! Sooooo because I can’t check her she can’t come over! If I was you I’d not allow the girl around until you know the child and family members and house have been treated!

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Years back this happened to me with a friend and her children, thank goodness at the time I only had one child a little boy with very short hair. I eventually offered to help her get her situation under control. I spent hours going through their hair and making a check list to clean her house.

I would be honest!
“I’m sorry but the last two times my children have gotten lice and I really do not want to keep consistently re doing areas in my home and buying new items, so I would prefer that she not come over unless it is guaranteed that she is lice free :)”
Unfortunately some can take it wrong, BUT how people take what is said to them is not for you to own!
That being said, maybe you can plan an outting for them instead? Good luck

Oh Hell no Sorry to b so blunt but those things r hard to get rid of. So let her mom deal with them and not u

My mum and aunt used to let a child we knew like it and they done her hair for her :woman_facepalming:t2:

Pero los piojos no son una enfermedad, compra un producto que tenga piretrina, eso en unos minutos les mata todo, luego, lavas y con crema de enjuague desenrreda y pasa bastante peine fino que es para eso, porque saca hasta las liendres, luego enjuaga y por ultimo hechales vinagre, enjuaga nuevamente, queda el pelo precioso, brillante y sin piojos, y en los futuros enjuagues usen siempre vinagre, eso ahuyenta los piojos. Y el peine fino usar todo los días para controlar. :+1::+1::uruguay:

So I have bonus kids that have a lice issue. I’ve gone so far as to offer her help getting rid of them. Sadly she declined my help so everytime my bonus kids come home they are infested and there have been a few times that I’ve had lice because of it. So when they come over I treat them with a Licefree treatment. While they are over, myself and all of the kids use the preventive shampoo that comes in the Licefree kit. Then daily I spray their heads with the Licefree spray but I mix in teatree oil into the spray. When they leave I throw all pillows and stuffed animals in the dryer and wash all bedding. Don’t let the kids sleep in the same bed or use the same pillows. Then I vacuum the whole house couches and beds the kids slept in then I spray it all down with that RID house spray. It’s alot of work but it keeps the lice transfer down. I know as soon as they go back to their mother’s they will be re-infested but I can’t just not see my kids.

When the lice is gone ok.Untill then nope its just that simple.

Try talking to the other Mom maybe? If thats too uncomfortable then just say no until you are sure the cocoo’s are gone for sure

Let her mom know so she can correct the problem very simple

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It sucks cause both lose out on time together but if this lice issue has happened multiple times, I want to know have you had a talk with their parents to discuss this or have you been hoping that they would notice :pensive: in which case it seems the problem still hasn’t been fixed. I’d suggest contacting them if you haven’t already to ask them to check their child for lice and if they refuse then do what’s best for your family.

Ask the mum if she’d like you to do her daughters hair, offer help…

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Talk to the friends mom and ask if she’s been treated and if she is lice free. If she’s says there’s no more lice I would offer to pick her up and check her head before allowing her in my car :woman_shrugging: thats just me, i wouldn’t really gaf if they got offended… lice is hard to get rid of

Talk to the other mother, she maybe at her wits end with trying to remove the lice. You never know someone else maybe doing the exact same thing to her family. The only option I found that worked 100% was to go to a place that vacuums out the lice and eggs.

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Talk to the parents and check the kid before she comes into the house

Have her mom assure you that she does not have lice. Good grief. Sometimes you have to ask questions even if it offends someone.

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Its not offensive telling someone their child has lice and they need to clean their hair.

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I would either not let her, or be up front with both her and her mother! :woman_shrugging:

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If you don’t want to offend mum maybe call mum and tell her your girls had lice so she needs to do her daughter’s hair and if she can’t wouldnshw like you to do it for her? I was lucky as my nieces always have them being islanders they don’t really worry about them and my daughter for some reason was immune. Like she’d get them and I’d find eggs but they were always dead. For some reason didn’t survive in her hair

You have three choices…let your daughter play with her friend and risk having to go through the whole head lice ordeal again…dont let your daughter play with her friend and deal with an upset, bored child…or put your big girl pants on and contact the friends mother and explain what your concerns are and ask if she has managed to get on top of the situation herself. Its your choice to make.

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Salon day (with “special shampoo”) at your house for the friend and your daughter? Perhaps her family has issues you aren’t aware of?

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They shouldn’t be offended, they should’ve helped with the cleanup. I would check her friends outdoors and only allow them to play outdoors.

I have 2 daughters, the first time they ever got it I struggled for over 2 weeks to get rid of it. I treated their hair and everything but couldn’t get rid of it. The problem ended up being that the color of my oldest daughters hair (it’s like a light/medium blonde/brown color) the nits blended in with it. I couldn’t see them like I could on my younger daughters hair. Hers is dark brown. I would spend more time on hers thinking my oldest didn’t really have it. So she just ended up passing it back to the younger one. My mom figured this out when I called her crying saying I didn’t know what to do because nothing was working. After this I kept one of the metal lice combs in the shower, I started combing their hair with conditioner on it couple times a week. They never really got it again.
I don’t know how schools are where other people are but where I’m at they don’t notify parents anymore if their child has lice. They don’t even send the child home. So it just easily spreads especially in younger kids.
If it was me I would talk to the other mother she may just need some help. She may be struggling to get rid of it.

No not unless you are 100% sure no lice

Call the mom and say that the kids have been talking about a play date, casually ask as a mom if she’s been having issues with lice, it can be brought up in a non offensive way?

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At least check her hair when she first comes over. Btw soaking the hair in Apple cider vinegar before doing treatment works a lot better. It takes the stickiness from the eggs.

Also, you can buy some tea tree oil and put some drops into your shampoo and it will help ward them off before they start. I have a family memebrs who’s friends kid kept giving them to their child. Thwy had to treat their daughter multiple times and her hair started falling out because of multiple tretments in a two month time span. (They treated her about 6 times in 2 months because of reinfestation.)

Have you let this other mum know about the lice? Might be a good way to bring up the conversation and saying about how you’ve had them so many times lately but you domt understand why, or be honest if you’re definitely sure it’s coming from her. When my daughter had lice before I notified everyone.e she had been in contact with including the school. If you point it out she may think more about sorting the lice out. Have the child over and do a hair and make up day and yes you’ll prob get infested again if it is from this little girl but you can actually go through her hair and be sure and if it is when you see the mum.at the end of their playdate communicate with her politely about it and offer help/advice, you never know she might be having a mental.breakdown everyday unable to get rid of them and not sure what to do, or she might not even realise her daughter has them!

How do you know it came from her house? I mean…did you even bother to ask? Passive aggression is cheap.

Tell the parents that there’s lice going around and your kids had it so check the kids. There’s no blame placed or uncomfortable situation,it’s just the usual lice going around. Kids, especially in primary school age,get nits regularly and it’s difficult to stop them spreading so just be open that they’re going around and no one need feel uncomfortable about it. I like the idea a previous commenter had of doing spa day/makeovers with special shampoo,make it easy to discuss because the kids will feel ashamed.

Not clearing her daughter’s hair of lice is neglect so talk to the mum

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TNo,face time, talk to the mother.go see how they living. Talk to other people who know them? IDK pick one.

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No. Purchase the lice treatment and take it to her mother and explain nicely that you would like to help get all of her children treated.

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If you don’t want to stop them from hanging out, then shave your daughters head bald and have them play outside

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You take fly spray and spray the child than band her head with a piece of cloth I did that to my daughter and my neighbors children have and she did it to

Let them play outside… no contact!!

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Eucalyptus oil and peppermint oil works wonders. It’s expensive but better than anything I have tried. We have a pharmacy that makes it up in S.C. IN Pine Ridge .It smells good too.

You are a sucker for punishment. If that child is your daughter’s friend you should be able to speak to the parents.
You need to sit your child down and tell her no .I would wait until a year .By the way are we still not in the Covid pandemic ? Find things for your daughter to do at home with her siblings and otherwise.
Clearly that family is not practicing good hygiene and the others shouldn’t have to pay for what they didn’t do

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When it comes to parenting…sometimes you gotta “offend”…you are not being rude or unreasonable in any way …it’s your job to be her parent and decide what’s best for her and the family…this “being offended” by everything is out of control…I would hope that the other mother would’ve said straight up NO you can’t hang with anyone right now to her daughter!

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Im sorry but I’ve got to check you for lice! We’re done having it in our home.

No way tell her not until the other girl gets rid of them

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Sometimes you gotta be the bad guy. Talk to the mom and if she’s offended…. Then she’s not doing her part as a MOTHER to take care of her kids correctly than I’d call CPS. There’s no excuse for her kids to have lice this long other than her not cleaning or treating properly. The kids are not to blame and need help at that point. I mean…. My niece caught lice and gave it to my daughter…. My daughters was gone in a week and my sister couldn’t get rid of it and it passed onto our other sister as well…. Instead of my sister and mom ignoring it they asked me if I’d help clean their hair out and what I did to get rid of it…… we had them clean also within a week after…… there’s no excuse.

You can buy lice repellent. It works great. Spray it in your daughters hair before she goes to her friends and she won’t get lice.

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I wouldn’t think of it as offensive, if that’s how they take it that’s on them! I would definitely have a discussion with the parents about your concern and explain what you’ve done and went through and it’s not that your trying to hurt feelings but you also want to know that you child is going to be okay hanging around her since x,y, and z has happened. Otherwise I wouldn’t allow her to come over or your daughter go over there.

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No way. If that child is continually get lice their hygiene is not good. Tell your daughter to play with her siblings. I had no siblings thats boring at least she has them to play with. Why on earth would you want to go through that again???

White vinagar let sit on hair for ten minutes rinse then shampoo as usual. The vinager kills the adults and dissolves the glue that holds the eggs on the hair

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Asking the mom and spraying both your kids heads with the stuff to prevent them before she comes over. If she stays wash the sheets.

Straight up ask. Don’t be ashamed of it. You’ve got one life to live and you sure as heck don’t want to make it more complicated by having to battle lice AGAIN. My mother died young and one of the biggest things she taught me was to speak the truth and don’t hide things. Most people actually handle the truth quite well, and in fact, know it, but are trying to hide it just the same as you.

I simply treated the kids head while she was here :woman_shrugging: it shouldn’t take 2 months to get rid if them. All that washing stuff isn’t what matters treat your kids head every few days with nontoxic treatments. Once a week with something decent say vamoose or even fairytale.

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Spray lice shield. I did it for years with my sons when they go to schools. It seem work. Just go to park to play. That’s it. Not in the houses…

Have a talk with her mom. Who knows, her mom may be embarrassed to day anything hoping no one notices because she doesn’t know how to get rid of it or to prevent it. She may need a friend herself, to help her or point her in the right direction to resources…

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Tell the best friend about the lice or call the best friend’s mum and tell her about the lice and how their own house should be flogged too.

Definitely NOT! I’d be speaking to the parents. I was lucky that none of my boys got lice from anywhere, but if they’d have had a friend with it they wouldn’t be coming into my home or playing with my sons!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter wants to hang out with her best friend but she has lice: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

That shouldn’t be a question you need answered🤷🤦

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Seriously…uuuhhh…no…since u feel u need someone to tell u so :roll_eyes::unamused::woman_facepalming:

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