My daughter was caught by a friends mom watching adult videos: Advice?

Take the phone till you have a talk to her she is just curious or has something happened to her ?

What about instead of a cell phone, both households get a landline ?

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Someone else is watching porn on that phone or someone showed her how to access it. That stuff doesn’t just pop up if someone isn’t watching it. What good is the phone to her if she doesn’t know the passcode?

I would change the password every month and I would not tell anyone the password to the settings to block things. They also have apps you can put on her phone to block stuff.

Locks on phones are not full proof. Restrictions need not necessarily be removed. It’s totally plausible that the filter has blind spots. They’re just algorithms that block content with certain keywords. When I was in primary and secondary school I saw students access inappropriate content. Purposefully and accidentally. It’s definitely worth finding out how she got to that content and personally I think that she is not bad or naughty for viewing bad stuff. Most likely she doesn’t understand the nature of the content and she certainly doesn’t understand how and why it’s harmful for her in the long term to be exposed to it.

If you’re gonna give a SEVEN year old a phone, it should be nothing other than a FLIP PHONE. With emergency numbers (mom and dad) since that was the purpose of getting the phone.

iPhones and androids (smartphones) that can search the web are a no no.

Why is there no parental control on the phone if you’re giving a 7 y/o a smart phone? If there is, then this shouldn’t be possible and only you and the dad should know the password to take the controls off? No one else.

In my opinion kids shouldnt have phones till they start secondary school. So 11 ish.
If she wants contact with her dad he can ring your mob or the house phone to talk to her.
Even with passcodes and restrictions on the phone its easily tampered with to show things. My sons older friends did it to my sons phone and well my son now has a app on his phone that he cant get rid of. Unless i take it off.
Its called family link. U control everything from your phone and they cant see anything bad.

Who all knows the pass codes? Start there. Why a phone with internet for a 7 year old? Why not just phone?

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Some website arnt always blocked, you have e to go on the website to block if some are able to view. Take the phone to a phone shop and ask them what they can do.

How’s the divorce going…?

7yr old didnt look that up. Check for sexual abuse. Something g is really wrong

Simple ask the child and talk to her about the videos.

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Talk to your ex husband :100::100:See what his reaction is​:100::100:Maybe he’s watching it :face_with_monocle::face_with_monocle::face_with_monocle::face_with_monocle::face_with_monocle::face_with_monocle::face_with_monocle::face_with_monocle::face_with_monocle:

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She might have seen her favorite TikTok or YouTube person promoting an OnlyFans and somehow found her way to free porn sites

Talk to her and find out who showed her how to get on these sites . Somebody knows the password !

She’s too young for a phone, regardless of the divorce.

She should only have s simple flip phone which allows calls only. Can even restrict what calls she can make. Not sure a 7 yr old should have any phone. You and her father should be responsible enough to make all the contacts needed.

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I would suspect abuse. You need to be taking to someone.

There is a web page called www.Omegle.com. It is a video chat site and no information is required to join. A lot of kids have gone to it and joined the adult link to meet w people who will “perform”. I’d want to know more about exactly what she saw because she could have been on that. It’s filled w predators who get the kids to expose themselves and stuff too. It’s scary.

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Sometimes some escape the codes. They can be very clever.

I caught my grandson around the same age, looking at porn. When I asked him how he knew about those things, he said a friend at school had shown him. Kids are smarter these days and are learning about sex a lot easier and earlier. Don’t shame your kid about it but talk to them and listen. There are great monitoring apps out there also. Or just get a basic flip phone, like others have said.

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She’s seven, get her a flip phone

This is why 7 is too young to have a smart phone. She shouldn’t be punished for something you as a parent gave her access too.

Trust your daughter not some adult.

Yea he don’t punish her you need to talk to her ask her why she felt the need to watch porn? Maybe she was curious about her body? Maybe she is beginning to feel these emotions? Maybe she was hurt sexually I hope not but you need to talk to your baby girl you never know maybe you guys could order books about the female body and what happens to the female body maybe if she is curious about sex you could pick a book together go over it together and let her ask you if she has any questions. This is t really a thing for dad to do the last thing you wanna do is embarrass her or punish her we are not in the “all women are witches” era and no matter how young women and girls need to know about their bodies and how to care for them have knowledge on there body and maybe when she is a bit older or even now it wouldn’t hurt to talk about what boys have on there bodies too or to have a conversation about boys…

Sounds to me like your ex may have gotten ahold of the phone and added those ‘options’ to it, in order to set you up. My ex pulled all kinds of bullshit to try and set me up to make me look like an unfit Mom, but fortunately for me he didn’t take it to the Porn level.

When my niece was 7 and had a phone to call either parent, it was a flip phone incapable of using the internet. It made calls & that was it.

So instead of thinking that it’s possible to for her to get thru your restrictions u blame someone else, great. She needs to be punished bc she got in the phone and watched what u told her not to. If my 3 year old granddaughter can work a phone your 7 year old can too. Saying someone did this and there’s no way my child could of is giving her the impression that u blame others for your choices. And what’s a 7 year old doing with a phone. I read your post. So I c where u say y. However, my kids did just fine without 1 until they were like 10, and me and their dad were not together. I got them 1 at 10 years old for emergency purposes after school bc I got home from work like an hour after they did. No 7 year old should own a phone. Devices aren’t a good substitute for your parenting and thats exactly y ppl get small children device’s such as phones.

You need to get a very low grade phone. One still with buttons, a small screen and sh*t internet access. There’s no reason for your kid to have a smart phone

Why is she able to access that…how about some parental controls…neglect in my opinion

Why does she need a phone? My step daughter isn’t allowed to have any electronic device from home. She wants to call mom? Awesome, use my phone or dads. She wants to call us? She has mom and moms boyfriends phone to use. No reason she needs a phone at all and obviously this is a bigger nail in that coffin. Take it.

Really! Why does she have data at 7, if it’s an emergency use only.phone, then a pay as you go plan offers more than enough minutes to speak with parents.

Take the phone back whenever you got it and have them review the restrictions. With you and change the pass.codes

Sounds critical to me

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter was caught by a friends mom watching adult videos: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

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Have you tried talking to the child?

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To be honest, I was around that age when I accidentally popped in a VCR at a friends house that was an adult movie. Bam that’s how I learned the birds and the bees lol

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It’s really not that deep… All you need to do is have a discussion with your child… How many times at a young age did you come across a dirty magazine in your parents room? Because I did and this is why other countries laugh at America because we see sex as taboo when it’s a normal natural thing… I’m not stating shove it in a child’s eyes but they will see it eventually it’s everywhere

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You really need to talk to your daughter about this. I’m talking a nice calm conversation absolutely no yelling and shaming. You need to create a safe environment so that shell open up to you and tell you how tf she found porn. You will only get the truth from her so you need to get it out of her in a very loving way. You can simply say I’m just trying to protect you, that’s adult content that isn’t appropriate for you right now and I’m curious how you were able to find these on here. You can even add on that there is malicious software that can be downloaded when watched, so you need to backtrack to make sure no viruses got through (which will give her another reason to be honest).
After this I would probably backtrack to a phone with no internet though…

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Her mind is now soiled at such a young age. Don’t know how you can reverse that……

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You should be more aware of what she looks up kinda your fault

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I don’t care if you’re getting a divorce, there’s absolutely no reason a 7 year old needs a phone

Could she have figured out the pass word? Or is there some hack the kids have figured out? They are so clever with technology these days. Did she use the browser incognito. That setting I’m sure means no other apps or anything can track it? Talk to her!! Ask her why she was watching it.

No 7 yr old would know how to find & watch porn on a cell phone. She is being abused. Poor baby.

Copy and pasted from an article from 2010 discussing someone’s four year old girl touching themselves…

“Though many three and four year olds touch themselves regularly, they often do this much less as when they reach six or seven years old. Childhood sexuality can become latent in middle childhood, before it takes on a new force at puberty when the hormones take over.”

It’s actually the perfect time for your child to start exploring, I know some people see porn as bad, and that would be a choice ya’ll make but please don’t shame her and make her all fucked up like me

I would definitely investigate further but I was definitely a curious child and knew too much for my age and watched things I shouldn’t have at that age. I found magazines in my bathroom and it was just interesting to me and my parents were all beside themselves when thet found out. Not saying it’s normal or that there couldn’t be something going on, but kids have sex shoved in their faces at a very young age now and the more mysterious something is to them the more they want to know about it. Maybe find a good child therapist and if they don’t think there is anything more than curiosity going on you can sit down and have a healthy, child friendly conversation about sex with her. Knowledge is power and in the long run it may helo her make better, more informed decisions for herself because she won’t see it as something that needs to be discovered for herself. I hope and pray it is just a circumstance of having so much access to anything and not something more.

7 is way to young to even have access to the internet with restrictions or not, even if you think you can trust them, you can’t trust thr internet, it raising out kids for us, I am a victim of giving my kid a phone to early and I regret it, I also caught her on adult sights but she was 10, not much better, she is 16 now and it’s literally a fight when I take her phone, even if you don’t give your kid a phone some where somehow they will gets access to one

Take the phone. She’s too young for it. Get her a flip phone or one of those jitterbug type phones for kids and the elderly that only call or accept calls from a specific set of numbers. Program yours and dads numbers, of course they are capable of emergency calls. That’s all she needs. She doesn’t need the internet in the palm of her hand at 7 years old…

Instead of buying the child a phone that is made for a adult, buy the child a flip phone that has nothing on it. Not everything has to be the best. Your problem is easy to solve. You just have to be smarter then your child.

My parents got me my first phone when I was like 5, it was one of those little Nokia ones and I couldn’t even use it because we didn’t have service where we lived, but I know plenty of other 7-10 year olds with a phone, but I was always on the internet anyway and started watching porn on the computer while everyone else was sleeping at like 10, but way before that, I was always exploring my body, I’m pretty sure my parents knew and just didn’t say anything but my dad shamed me about other things before this and now I can barely have sex as an adult without crying or feeling shameful and guilty

Make sure she doesn’t have access anywhere!! Talk to your provider and see if there are more restrictions you can do. You should be able to just make a small amount of phone calls only!

Why does the kid have a smart phone? Flip phones still exist and work just fine for kids having a line of communication

Sometimes ads pop up and the child accidentally stumbles upon it…

You have to be careful with phones. They sneak nasty stuff in between. My granddaughter was watching Dora one day on YouTube and a kinky version of Dora was on there. She was about 5/6 at the time. Thank God I was around when I heard they were gonna smack Dora’s ass. Loll. Not funny though. S also Nick at Nite goes adult at 10 on weekends. But all and all yeah I don’t think she could have done it with all those restrictions.

Flip phone. Problem solved.
I highly doubt a 7yr old knew how to bypass every restriction and looked up dirty sites.

Sounds the ex has been using it to watch porn if u ask me.

Def find out if your ex knows the code.

I haven’t read the rest of the comments but where was your daughter for a friend’s mother to witness her doing this? I’m wondering if ‘dobbing her in’ is a pre-emptive strike to cover something going on in her home/sphere. Perhaps this woman - or someone around her - exposed your child to this and is trying to cover it in case your daughter told you about it. Your parenting decisions are yours to make but, IMO, no good comes of giving a child even potential access to too much information and content they cannot adequately filter. The fact that you had to apply all these restrictions and passcodes tells me the phone is not an age appropriate possession for a 7 year-old. I’d rather change my lifestyle than necessitate a 7 year-old having to carry around a smart phone.

Sounds like bullshit.

Change the passwords thats a given but if that doesn’t work idek

Get rid of the phone

Start by changing the passcode.

Seven! Take the phone away.

Get her a dumb phone.

A 7 yr old does not need a phone, of any kind.

I came here for the comments :flushed:

Get her a GABB phone

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There’s alot of porn spam, it can be directly messaged to your number without seeking it out, try changing her phone number.

Dirty websites… that’s funny

My boys weren’t allowed smart phones until high school. They had cheap flip phones. They could call or text whenever needed and that was it.

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Just get them an old ass phone like a Nokia 3310 or something , all they need is to be able to text or call.

Maybe change phone to non smart phone with no internet capability

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Sometimes even typing or leaving off one letter from a url will make a difference

Get her a Flip Phone…problem solved

Could it have been hacked?

Andrew the comments on this are pissing me off

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Get a flip phone without internet service

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She can use a landline

7!!! Wtf!!! Issues coming here

For school aged kids (i.e. ages 5-10 or 11):

– first do all you can to avoid shame

– ask the child what he or she saw

– ask your child how he or she feels about what he or she saw

– stress that you’d like the child to let you know if he or she comes across this material again, and stress that this is material intended for adults and that not all adults are comfortable with this material

-if your child asks questions, have an honest discussion. Tell them how babies are made if you are comfortable with this kind of discussion. Most will be grossed out by the idea and most will then go about their day without thinking much more about what you said until they’re older.

Get a cheap Pay-as-you-Go less smart phone or flip phone that doesn’t have internet capability

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Get a flip phone and have a serous talk.

Gabb Phone - Best Cell Phone For Kids | Phone With No Internet Phones and phone watches with no internet, social media or games.

Also, I recommend using the Google family link app for kids.

if it has a web browser, it can get to porn.

Buy here a flip phone like old school kind they still make them.

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I will say that at 7 she has no email… but you need an email for most smart phones… if your email or hubby’s email is linked… it’s a portal to get around passcodes…
Second… all the judgement out there is absolutely disgusting.
Who cares what you think about her age and having a phone… kids are gonna find ways to do things out of curiosity. Do what works for you and yours…leave the Nancys to stew.

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Take it back to court

You’ve failed at parenting if ur kids into porn

They still have older phones without internet.
Quick fix…

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First of all, Start being a parent, NO PHones at all for the young ones, teach them to Garden, play an instrument, sing, read, cook…arts and crafts sew…so many things to learn, we are destroying our children by giving them tech at an early age. Just so wrong. your child will not be as creative and inventive by giving them mind-numbing tech. We have lost our children now. We are teaching humans to be a go along, this is wrong, it is destroying our society, no one can think for themselves anymore. Tech does not make for a good human with critical thinking skills.

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Get her a flip phone

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Honestly, anything can be accessed because it’s through the web browser as well. So unless you have software that can restrict these sites, there’s are ways to get around them just by surfing the internet. Type in what ever you want. Nothing is fool proof. To be safe I wouldn’t go with a smart phone. She has to have consequences and having her phone changed would be a good start.

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They have watches that have call features only and my nieces used to have them. Just buy one of those I think Verizon has them.

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Well, you can get around the block? You can always find a cheaper cell phone that doesn’t have the data like a Tracfone. I still own this brand and I love mine. But do have a conversation with your child about what she saw on that phone? And be honest with her on watching that. It’s not real! There are better things on websites than watching that. Get her into reading books, or playing games on Nintendo, something more positive.

I doubt a 7 year old knew to look up porn , everything about this post is wrong . She is going to be talking about this to her therapist one day ! What ever happened to actually talking to your children and explaining these things are for adults but you understand she is curious and actually talk to her about it. If she even looked it up.
If she didn’t all you have done is victimized her her and “beat her ass” and made her feel like a dirty person when she isn’t. Did anyone actually ask her?

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First off, I sympathize with you, I think we parents can all agree that this is something we all will deal with in some form or another at one point. I haven’t been in your shoes but fresh eyes, I would get info from the other mother and then let her father know and together you’ll need to talk with her. Focus the conversation on what can be done to prevent this again and to not shame her. I don’t think she should be in trouble or be told she now has more restrictions and placing the blame on her. Open the conversation with her about what she has seen to maintain open communication. You and her father need to really work together here.

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No more phone at that young age. Period. She can use yours if supervised.

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Don’t make a big deal in front of your child and talk to her, I’m sure she will tell the truth and then you can make a desicion. She is too young to understand what she is watching I’m pretty sure someone introduced it to her.