I am in Oregon where it is legal. She is an adult but your house and your rules. Tell her outside only.
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Lay the ground rules down. Regardless if everyone thinks weed is ok. And the fact she’s 18 if it’s breaking your rules of the house then it’s a no go! If you don’t want her smoking at the house tell her. If she does it at school again tell her she will have to be held accountable for her decisions. She needs to learn that breaking the rules regardless if it’s at school, work or your home she will be held accountable. Just talk to her calmly. Tell her if she decides to smoke at the house (especially inside your home) that you will be forced to… you make the rules it’s your house! You have other growing children and you don’t want them following her lead. Better question is, who’s in charge of your house? You or her?
Have a serious talk…about smoking dirt weed vs higher quality stuff and not falling prey to the overtaxed b.s. in dispensaries. 
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I told my 16yr old I understand shes curious and is going to try things but for now it is not allowed in this home until shes 18 and living on her own !! Then she can do whatever she wants !!
if you’re asking a group, instead of whooping her ass, you don’t respect yourself. and she does this in your house without a care- she does not respect you.
I know a lot of people who are successful and happy and also smoke weed. There are more benefits than not so if you don’t like it talk to her about it and set boundaries you’re comfortable with but otherwise if she’s being safe and not driving high then leave her be. I’m sure as a single mother you have a lot more pressing matters to put your focus on.
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Why are so many trying to convince her to let her daughter smoke weed and just get on board with it? When she clearly just doesn’t want her daughter doing it. That’s HER baby. Her thoughts, her parenting style. PERIOD.
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Its weed…its not a big deal an shes almost an adult…
I cant say condoning it is ok however, I would focus on her grades , attendance and overall attitude. If she can maintain good grades and a healthy social life AND is not skipping school ect then it’s not a problem. Tell her to stop wont work , help her have skills necessary to do her best and be her best no cop outs so to speak. If she cannot maintain a healthy balance then tbe weed is a issue and needs to be addressed.
Talk to her figure out why she’s smoking it helps you focus and anxiety and depression listen to her if you wanna help she’s almost 18 she gunna choose weather or not to keep you in her life soon
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drugs is always a no go in this house as it should be special with kids
Repeat after me … WEED IS NOT A DRUG…
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To everyone acting like it’s not a big deal, not your kid, not your call. This is a mom asking for help on how to discipline her child, she doesn’t need your negative commentary. Marijuana IS a drug & Studies have shown the huge effect it has on an undeveloped brain. There’s THOUSANDS of studies on it. Do your research. Anything that is mind altering is and will always be a drug. It is unacceptable behavior to be doing it at school and at home. I got in a lot of trouble in school. I’ve been there done that. I use to think the same way until I got sober three years ago from everything and I have god to thank for that. How about we uplift this momma and tell her how good of a job she is doing instead of negativity. 
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She’s an adult 
as long as it’s not in the house and she’s paying for it
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I raised 5 kids as a single mom and you are allowed to search her room when ever you feel the need. If you don’t want weed in your house then she needs to learn to respect that but obviously she has lost respect for you and it’s time to take charge again. If she won’t love by the rules of your home and she is considered an adult then tell her it’s time she live somewhere it is allowed. It’s hard to make your kids move out but something it’s what has to be done to get them to understand. I had a rule with all my kids that they could come back home once but if they still couldn’t agree to my rules then there are no seconds and it has worked well for my family.
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Take everything out of her room except the mattress, take the door of the hinges. Taker her phone and any other electronics she has. Put her ass on lock down. No coming or going. She can sit in her room and watch the paint dry. Plus make her do all the housekeeping. But in reality she is almost 18. You need to make it clear if that shit is found in your house you’re calling the cops because you dont want to go to jail for it.
Mine were and still do smoke outside not in my house !
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Tell her to go outside. Dont try to ban her from it because shes going to do it anyways and id rather my kid doing it around my home than dangerous places like at school or public areas.
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Honestly i would sit n talk to her ask her why shes doing it. Is there something going on that its helping her with if so its dr time. She gonna do it regardless u gotta tell tell her u dont appriviate it and if by all means she is gonna do it she does not do it around the house or in the house.
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Tell her to smoke it in the back garden not in the house or school
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My mom was the first person I smoked with she’d rather us do it with her safely cause stuff can always be laced with more dangerous things drinking same way we hand our car keys over if we drink at her house I live directly behind I can walk home if I want to go home I know the rules same rules apply if friends come to my house I’d rather everyone be safe I know cpr and would call 911 if something happened at 18 they are an adult every parent and child are different my mom has three kids I’m the oldest I don’t like it my brothers love it just depends both my uncles and aunt and mother all use to do hard drugs weed was the start but once they got a better life everything stayed
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I was this kid. I did it for the attention. I just wanted my parents to see me. They didn’t.
I was allowed to smoke at home as long as I kept it put up and didn’t go bragging. My parents would just ignore the fact that I done it and would smell like it honestly.
I would just see why she’s doing it? Level with her? I smoked to escape the monstrosity of my step mother.
Lay down the rules and stick by them she does not she moves out period you have other children to set an example for and let them see you mean what you say.
My house my rules. Stop smoking itmove.
I’m sorry. My youngest preferred 2 shoot meth and my oldest liked 2 shoot heroin. They never smoked pot much. Wish they would have!! Choose ur battles carefully. Praying 4 u and ur family.
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It’s natural lol. Be happy she’s not shooting dope in the bathroom. Sounds like ya need to hit it with her and relax.
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Tell her to go outside when she smokes
Tell her the dangers of weed
Tell her how much you love her and if she ever needs you that you’ll be there. Don’t try to push her into quitting because it won’t work but really smoking weed isn’t the worst thing in the world and she’s 18 for crying out loud you could also just tell her to start looking for consistent employment and a place so she can live the way she wants if you just don’t want her smoking at all in your house
Be honest with her. No weed is not the worst thing in the world and she is not a “bad kid” for smoking it. But calmly and sincerely ask her why she started, its best to have a relationship where she feels she can come to you even when shes done something wrong. Finding out what made her start - depression, wanting to fit in, curiosity, or wanting to rebel, gaining this knowledge is the first step in helping her to help herself. If it is illegal in your state make sure she understands what your fears are - ruining her future by getting hooked to other drugs or by having a criminal background, most drug dealers sell more than weed so being around ppl that sell weed could put her into a more dangerous situation… all in all shes going to make her own choices you have to open with her and hope she makes the right ones
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spark one up with her
It’s obviously illegal in her state and she has several other children in the home. This child is putting her custody at risk of those children if she willingly allows it.
Weeds legal pretty much everywhere rather her do it in my back yard or her room then at school to be thrown in jail lol
U talk to her because trying to make her stop she will continue it calms her down so slow your role just listen to her and see how she feels and don’t wait too long cause she might try other things worser than that just listen to her that’s all Good bless u
And I talk from been there done that situation
She’s 18, if she’s getting good grades and has good attendance why does it matter? She’s going to continue smoking whether you punish her or not, let’s just be honest here. So instead of making this a negative experience for the both of you, allow it on your terms. Tell her that she must do it outside and when the other children would have no knowledge of it. Being extremely high around the other kids is not acceptable either. This way you can at least make sure she’s not driving under the influence. If she’s not smoking at your house, then she’s doing it at a friends or somewhere else and then coming home. A DUI charge is a lot worse than a misdemeanor weed charge
Oh honey I know how you feel. I’ve been there! So she wants to act like an adult and she doesn’t want to follow your rules then you can put her in a facility for kids with these type of issues. They are a 24 hour group home type of facility with each gender having their own homes. Staff stay with them always, they go to school and graduate and learn a trade. They learn basic living skills like cooking and cleaning , how to manage a check book and learn how to spend their money. They see Doctors and Therapist, and go to counciling . These facilities are there to help the kids stay out of prison , and have police records. She’s at that age where she’s telling you I can do what I want I’m almost an adult. Well that may be but she is your child and she lives in your house so if you want to ring her bald headed you can! She needs to under stand that her behavior is effecting everyone and could cause you to loose your younger kids to CPS. I see these posts saying it’s ok she’s almost an adult , bull shit! If you tell her no she needs to damn well respect what you say. You loose brain cells when you do drugs. To punish her make her write an apology letter to the people at school. Then call your police station and explain the situation and ask if she can do community service for a couple weekends. Kids hate writing and cleaning. Take her phone and all sources of entertainment for a few days. Call the court house and ask if you could arrange a stay in there for a couple nights, I think once she sees that no good can come from smoking pot she’ll change her ways. I am a single mother and I’ve gone through this a lot. My daughter will be 19 in March and she has Schizophrenia and some other mental illnesses. Some of it can be attention seeking behavior and some part of that rebellous stage where they think they know everything. You have to be firm and follow through with what you say and what your rules are. I have even called the police on my child. Let her have some freedom to hangout with friends but with a curfew. Remind her that you do love her and want the best for her but she will be responsible for her actions and you won’t bail her out. These ages are rocky for parents but it does get better.
Well first go throught her room find the rest and then if she has cel. Phone take it or a computer take it
I’d remind her sharing is caring lmfao
Well you have 3 other kids and you have to set up a strong boundary line. There is a lot of controversy on weed now as to it having medicinal properties but i doubt that is the. Case here . let her suffer the consequences . she needs to knowthat it is not ok to smoke pot in your home or in school. She can do that when she lives in her own place . make her move out . as a last resort . take away her phone if you pay the bill.make it crystal clear that behavior is not tolerated
This is a hard one because she is 18! There definitely should be punishment but you have to be careful she doesn’t leave in anger. I would DEFINITELY make it clear that No matter what she is NEVER allowed to do that in your house!! It doesn’t matter how old she is, it is your house and she needs to respect your rules.
(Side note… her doing this in your home with no consequences is showing your younger children that her behavior is acceptable)
Good luck and lots of prayers!
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Just because there are worse things she could be doing is NOT justification. Be her parent. Be a good example and don’t allow it in your home. Help and encourage her to make better decisions but do not coddle her. She needs to be both responsible and accountable.
I would also not tolerate her putting blocks on my phone. She is exhibiting some very rebellious and deliberate behaviors that IMHO would not be tolerated.
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If she is big girl enough to disrespect your home, and pull that crap where younger siblings could be influenced…she is big girl enough to move out. I’d be helping her pack. To allow, is to enable.
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No matter what you do or say she is gonna smoke weed so if your daughter feels adult enough to smoke weed then she is old enough to start paying mom rent every month.
Also set boundaries, dont let her smoke at school but work out an agreement with her to let her smoke at home. It safer for her to Smoke weed at home then to be smoking out on the streets just saying.
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Tell her she can do it when she’s not at school or under your roof 
she’s almost 18 and you really can’t stop her, but you can tell her you don’t want it going on during school or under your roof. I couldn’t stop my ex baby daddy from doing it so I told him not in the house. He didn’t stop doing it in the house and that among other reasons is why I kicked him out. You can kick your daughter out as soon as she turns 18 if she refuses to follow those rules because honestly that probably what my parents would have done with me, or my parents parents to them
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Drug test her and search her room when she’s at school if all is good trust her but if she fails or you find something take charge keep her close watch her know what she’s doing keep her close.
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Don’t be afraid of her. Talk to her. Find out what’s going on with her. Go out to dinner just the 2 of you and put everything on the table so to speak.
Tell her you will have to lay some ground rules since it is your house but let her know you love her and sometimes tough love is needed.
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Tell her to straighten up, send her to rehab and get her crap together, and if she wants to do that then she needs to get her own house and do her own thing. It wouldn’t happen under my roof d’nope!
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She shouldn’t have been smoking at school but honestly I wouldn’t be too upset. There are a lot of health benefits from smoking it.
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Too many parents on here wanting to be their kids friends and not their parents. Then you wonder why little Johnny/Johnna is a thief and smoking crack. 
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If she can afford weed, she can afford her own place. Especially when she doesn’t have enough respect for you, not to smoke in your house with younger siblings there.
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She’s eighteen. Maybe explain once she’s on her own if she chooses to smoke weed that’s her choice but help her understand how to be responsible with it. Still meeting all her priorities without fail and being able to support herself should come before the smoking if she can do that I don’t see why it should be a problem she smokes weed. It’s just a plant that u can’t overdose on or has any bad side effects, lots safer then any prescription or over the counter medication that’s for sure. But if she’s smoking it and throwing her life away just to do so then I’d say it’s time to step in for sure.
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I took my sons door off and started drug testing. Told him if he was caught again he’d need a new place to live. He also got NO money from me whatsoever. Haven’t had a problem since and it’s been over a year.
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Before rushing to punishment instantly, look deeper as to what may be causing the behavior. Is she stressed? Dealing with anxiety or depression?
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I tnink this story is familiar to a lot of us, especially for me! My daughter who was going to a very expensive private school also got caught smoking marijuana on school grounds. We sent her to religion classes, we sent her to a counselor and we tried to talk to her about the effects of pot. in the end, when the counselor brought her and us together the counselor agreed allow her to smoke if all her studies, chores and work was complete! I was livid, I didn’t understand how a counselor could side with a 17-year-old? But she was completely right, as soon as we gave in and set limits she was a happy camper and brought homehonor grades and is now a doctor. The way the counselor put it is there a way worst drug she could be doing and this is an outlet, and we all need outlets!
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If she lived in my house, she would not be doing it. There would be no babying her. If she’s almost an adult she should no better.
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Depending on the laws in your state you might need to send her out of your house so it doesnt cause an issue with your other kids. She is 18. Time to grow up.
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Does she work? Although we isn’t the worst thing in the world, you can still be denied a job for it. so even if it’s something she enjoys doing recreationally, you need to get through to her that it may put up a hurdle for her employing herself soon.
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What ever you do do it now and be consistent. My parents caught me with it sooo many times and the punishments were laughable. They took my phone. Big deal right? No. I was 16 when I got it and 16 when I lost it. It wasn’t hard to do without. They yelled. I didn’t care. I’m not saying weed is a gateway drug… but I am saying I was caught with my moms pills at school and the pee test showed up positive for everything. now im 22 100% clean and have been that way for going on 5 years.
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Your house, your rules. She follows them or she leaves🤷♀️ (and don’t tell me idk what it’s like blah blah blah, I have a 17 year old, and just had this convo with because she thought she could do what shE wanted to do. )
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I’d be doing a prison shakedown in her room. And guess what, now you lost privacy privileges and I’m taking the doors off the hinges.
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She needs discipline and guidance. She may not want it but she’ll thank you later
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What do you mean what do you do ? First of all she had enough sense to block the school number from your phone so that you wouldn’t find out what she was doing at school then when she gets caught she goes to jail then she gets home says I’m gonna go take a shower and now she’s really in there getting high… what do you mean what do you do? You’re her mother you have 3 other kids to think about. Do you allow this in your home? If the answer is no, then you need to lay out some ground rules. If she’s not gonna live by your rules then maybe you need to put her ass out. Stop being her friend and be her parent.
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I am a cigarette smoker. So are my kids. Smoking inside is a big no no! We live in Northern New England. It’s cold here. You gotta want to smoke. That being said both of my kids have tried weed. (Not in my home.) I take the same stance I did when I caught them smoking cigarettes. I used to smoke weed. I can tell you all the good and bad that comes with it. But because I used to smoke I personally refuse to be a hypocrite about it. I remind them of the laws and that they will pay their own repercussions if they are caught.
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She should not have been smoking away school period. But c’mon y’all it’s marijuana not meth. I would be more worried if out was alcohol.
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Honestly, not being rude, I know it’s your child but, tell her when she turns 18, find a job and get her own house, you will NOT allow that under your roof!
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wait she blocked numbers on your phone from the school and probably other people?! id be doubled over livid on that more than her getting caught at school! shes calculating her wrong doings and will only get smarter at doing so since im guessing she was “doing good”’to get everyone off her back it seems like
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I was always told my roof my rules I moved out at 15 and have struggled every day. The grass isn’t always greener. But call the police let them deal with it.
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I’d rather her do it at home than out somewhere else…send her to the garage or backyard 🤷
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As long as she is living under my house, she will have to follow the rules. When she turns 18 and she moves out, she can do whatever she wants. Smoking weed is illegal. At least it is in NC.
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If you’re not ok with it tell her as long as she lives in your house she will not be smoking. Give her random drug tests. Take everything away. She’s 18 she will probably do what she wants, but if you’re paying her phone bill. Shut it off. Tell her absolutely no smoking in your house PERIOD.
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Why would you want to punish somebody for smoking weed? Maybe have a conversation about respect and the fact that if she’s going to smoke as an adult, she should be outside or off the property. You can’t punish her for a choice that half the country makes.
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Well I mean did you catch her pregnant, smoking in a halfway house and beaten by her boyfriend. There are worse things she could be doing. Be strategic in your response cause you can lose your daughter, your self respect and relationship. What is more important? Disciplinary action or letting her understand your side. Talk to her. Let her understand why you are disappointed or upset. Shit its weed. Not crack, cocaine, etc. Let her understand why you feel its disrespectful in your house. Explain it. But taking off doors and whipping her is just too much. Ask her why does she smoke and why she is willing to lose the comfort of her home for it. Some parents just do to much. I’m a parent but I was a teen as well. They have more crap in this world to deal with than I did in the 90’s. Talk to her. Get a break down. No friends stuff just get an understanding of what is going on.
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I’m a my house my rules. You dont like them move. She’s 18 she’s an adult making adult decisions. Shell come back when she figures out adulting isnt what she thought
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I know all kids try it but she needs to respect your house and your rules. She is only 17 and hasn’t graduated yet from school. She is testing you. Don’t give her money, take her phone, car, and no going out. At 17 she is still considered a child. Sit down and have a heart to heart talk about everything. If she can’t follow your rules she needs to stay with someone else like grandparent, aunt, uncle. You have other children that you don’t want to.pickup on her ways.
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your house your rules, I, moved and left the house to my grown child. lol
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Better weed than drinking liquor. But you’ve gotta let her know that shit is not ok to do in the house.
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She is 18 and honestly the worse u make it that she is smoking weed the more she is going to want it just ask her to not have it around your other kids
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18…my way or the highway. No drugs In my home period.
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Come on really probably everyone on here has smoked pot and some of you still do who are you to judge of what to do really she should have not did it at school, but talk to her about it and see how she feels and mom to
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smoked pot at 13 worked since I was 13 own my house /land still work and still smoke pot at 62
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She is in a program at school because she was smoking weed! I am sure you or her signed a contract so if I were you I would be on the phone reporting her. Usually the parent is also responsible for the child’s actions.
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Hey I rather my kid smoke weed at least she not doing meth or something else stupid…tell her how u feel…she gonna do it when she’s out with friends u can’t watch 24. 7…tell her why it’s bad for her…i kicked my 16 year old out for not following my rules…hes been gone year…i don’t give him money he has work to provide for himself…he graduates in May…hes doing great.he told me it taught him lesson
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Don’t be her friend be her parent. Might be harsh but tough love maybe the only choice. Tear da ass up & ground her. If it happens again tell her to find another place to live.
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Were I live your responsibility till 21 of age. You have to lay down the law with her, after she finishes school get job save up for her own place . This isn’t just not on you her father as well tell him get off his ass help with his kids. he help create them. 
mothers shouldn’t be the only ones have to deal with problems like this.
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She really had the guts to do it in the house like that? Phewwww. But I rather my future child smoke weed then do meth or something worse.
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She’s 18 and weed is almost legal… I would just be mad that she’s lying to you. Not that she’s smoking weed. So much worse things she could be doing
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Your house your rules if she has a car take it away phone take it away not in the house
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If shes living in your house i dont care how old she is, it’s your rules! Your paying the bills not her.
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My house, my rules. If you can’t abide by them, and you believe you are adult enough to make your own rules, it’s time you moved out. But until then? That stuff will not be anywhere near my house.
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What a shock that the stoners are going to smoke weed with their teenager.
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Would u rather her hide domewhere at home and smoke it or lie 2 u where she is going and she smoke out and about where shes more likely 2 get in trouble
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I would def get her into therapy though…seems like she is going through some things and might need someone she trusts to talk to… It’s rooting from somewhere… When it comes to what to do at home well it’s your house.
No ma’am no smoking at or anywhere set down and have a mother and daughter talk with her sometimes kids will do stuff at home or school because something is bothering them or just need more of your love and attention pray for her love her but also let her know it is WRONG and you will not tolerate anywhere l tried to do the same when l was her age and l had a praying mother and God change my life because of my mother’s prayers.
Although I smoke weed myself which came maybe a yr before my youngest graduated and was never done in front of or inside my home with them there bc of anxiety and ptsd, my children had rules against it. Their brains are still developing and smoking at young ages can stunt or even freeze so to speak that growth. There is not much you can do to stop her if she is 18. However your house your rules. You have younger children in the house that you must protect first and foremost. Blocking numbers from your phone, oh hell no! She needs rules with real consequences. I wouldn’t give her another dollar to spend, she would have strict rules or she can get to steppin!! Do not enable her.
Take anything that means anything to her that isn’t a necessity. No car, phone etc. til she can pass a drug screen. Once she does she can have things back but with random drug screens. If she fails/ she loses all again.
Once she graduates- boot her out if the house.
I’ve lived it - my goal switched from paying for college to just getting her through high school.
Wow. Some of y’all too busy trying to be the “cool” parent 
it’s easier to let them do what they want than actually discipline right?
She’s 18? If she can’t follow your house rules then she can hit the road or go back to jail. This will not only send her a message but let your younger children take note that they do not want to behave like their oldest sister.
Love an peace to you
I’m with you Heather, out u go through the window or door, just out.
Set some rules with her doing it she’s an adult
If shes old enough to go to “jail” and make negative decisions shes old enough to be on her own… I just think its disrespectful
I’d be more concerned about her messing with my phone.
…she isn’t an only child,what if something seriously life threatening had happened.