Do exactly what you feel you should. Buy them what they need and nothing more. I had to do it with my son, and it worked. A birthday in Aug. and Christmas in Dec. full of gifts he needed and NOT A ONE HE WANTED!! He is 13 now and appreciates and takes care of all that he is given. Tough love isn’t wrong love. It works. Good luck!!
Perhaps instead of gifts to them have them make a donation to a rescue. Spend a day out doing something., hiking, biking etc. Have them in the kitchen to make a cake. Good luck
My oldest did this same thing. I took her toys. I grounded her. I tried all kinds of things to see what worked. Nothing. Now she is almost 27 she says I was a bad mother she hates me she still doesn’t take care of her things and she has my 4 year old grandson. She did not take care of his as a baby. Me and her 2 younger sisters did. For the first year of his life. And now she uses him as a pawn against me. I havent seen him in over a year now. Haven’t spoke to her either. So my daughter hasn’t gotten any better. I wish I had advice that worked.
Sounds like this parent is just buying expensive gifts more for herself then for her kids. Maybe the kids destroy the items because they didn’t want them in the first place.
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I think it’s time to take things away and then set up volunteer opportunities with the less fortunate population…
We have had to do this in The past
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A lot of times it’s due to just having too many things. Downsize maybe
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Take stuff away and make them earn it back. One birthday my kids b/g twins i think 6th were excited to get a toothbrush toothpaste and mouth wash for their birthday. They are 12 now so that doesnt work anymore lol they have a phone, chromebooks and a tablet but they only get them when they behave. The chromebooks grandma took themnaway and she broke one.
Don’t threaten to throw things away (or give it to a thrift store), do it. Set clear rules and expectations. Have a week with one warning and then things will be placed in the Rubbermade tote to be given away. The next week, ditch the warnings. It can be hard to be firm with limits, especially when you feel like you are wasting your money giving away the things you bought. Remember that your children’s character is priceless, the stuff is not. Also, kids value things more when they have less. Quality time with family matters more than stuff, but stuff can get in the way of children realizing that. I would buy a lot less and start having them earn money to buy their own things. Skin in the game also helps a lot with responsibility.
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Organize everything, take away some of the items and make them do chores to earn it back. Sit down with them and make a chore list, expectations, etc. I make my kids take out the trash, wash walls, vacumn, even make dinner, not everyday, but they have 2 chores a day they need to do, along with homework and read for 20 minutes before they can play video games or with friends and they are 11 and 9.
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My mom and dad bought a toy box for all of my toys. Everytime they found one of my toys, they put it into the box. Then would close it off with lock and key. It got to the point that I had no toys to play with. So I eventually had to start acting correctly. And then if it happened again the process would start over. … my parents were very strict so they didn’t give in when I would cry for my toys
Stick to what you said you were going to do. Gifts are a privilege, not a birthright. If you go back on your word, they will not take you seriously. Get them a simple gift each, and plan a day to overhaul and organize the toys. Put your foot down.
Everyone parents differently with different outcomes depending on the child in question. I grew up poor and we didnt get stuff throughout the year. We got school clothes, a present for our birthday, and we’d always get 3 specific presents that e we asked for for Christmas and then we’d get filler gifts. I followed a similar pattern with my kids. They get school clothes, a specific amount to be spent on them each year for their birthdays, and then I go absolutely crazy on Christmas… BUT…, they always get clothes along with their other gifts. My kids are 16, 14, and 12. The two older ones are boys and the youngest is a girl. My oldest has ALWAYS taken the best care of his stuff. My middle one has always been the hardest on his stuff, but he had improved on that a lot on the last 2 years. And my youngest is always on this I want/need this next kick. Like she can open up all of her presents on Christmas and we go to town the next day and she’s like “hey can you get me this???” They’re relatively good kids. But they also don’t really know what it’s like to go without. It’s normal for kids to have cell phones and I was the worst mom ever because my kids didnt get phones until they were 14, 13, and 11 respectively. They all have flat screens and satellite in their rooms. But they all play sports and get good grades soooo…theyve all pushed me too fast at one point or another. My oldest found out Santa wasnt real when he was 7 after I found a new video game letting out of the case on the entertainment center. I was like we have a rule about this, only one game out of the case at a time and it had to be in the console. His reply was not what I expected…” it’s okay mom, you didn’t pay for that game, Santa got it for me.” Parenting is HARD. If anyone had a manual on how to make perfect kids into perfect adults please share… also i think of they have that I’d like to reprogram myself you be perfect because some of my decisions as an adult:woman_facepalming:
In my opinion dont get them anything but clothes for there bday I have done that to my kids
Kids only have 2 hands (sometimes it seems more), a short attention span and getting an over load of goodies is overwhelming. Why worry about breaking items when there are so many more to replace them.
I think it means they have to much so nothing means anything this year we did gift bags with shampoos bubble bath and new jammies no toys
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Stop spending money on them and start spending that money on me 
but seriously they need to learn some gratitude. Have them do things in reparation for what they have broken or not taken care of. Give consequences that are connected not to the things but to the lack of gratitude and the lack of caring they have in their general attitude and talk with them openly about what they are doing. And in general moving forward my biggest advice is to not spend such large amount of money on young children and find ways to spend time as that’s what children remember the most anyway
Do what my mom did. Take EVERYTHING out of their room leave 7 outfits, 7 pjs, socks undies that jazz, mattresses on the floors. Everything else disassemble put away and in trashbags somewhere safe and make them earn everything back. Theyll learn to appreciate it real fast
Take everything away from them but the things they really need…clothes bed and food
Take it all away. Dont give them nothing. Make them earn it back.
This is what happens when you spoil t he m
If you get them anything for their birthday, you will be going back on your word and encouraging this kind of behaviour. If I got them anything at all it would be a certificate to have one of their Christmas presents fixed.
My kids mostly got thrift store toys, and they lived them. Most of the stuff they got new they passed to their kids.
Take it all away lock in a cabinet n they earn it back. Also ask them to donate 10 toys they don’t play with
Now for another opinion:
Yes, set boundaries. I like that only 4 gifts per person idea. But also realize that they’re 7 and 8 and that stuff breaks. All kids break some toys, not on purpose.
We had waaaay too much crap for my kids too. It took a good friend who was willing to let me be mad to say so; and that I should make them clean as part of the nightly before bed routine.
You have to teach how to clean. Set a timer for 10 minutes, and do a contest to see who can clean up the most, but also do so nicely, not just throwing it into your toy boxes.
Start with grace, and remember you’re teaching them a life skill.
To start cleaning his room I had to give my son one task at a time. First put all the books back in their shelves. Then all of the blocks or cars, or dolls, etc. Doing this one set or item at a time helps them (and us parents) to not be overwhelmed.
It’s best practice if you can retrain/reteach them to get out one item at a time and put it away before they grab the the next thing.
Remember they’re young, and have short attention spans. So you’ll have to constantly, gently remind them until it becomes habit.
Hug them, and celebrate the clean room with a 10 min dance party. Even boys like that.
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Sounds like they are spoiled. Sorry for saying that 
Spend more time with them, do things that are free, play board games, cards.
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Don’t give them nothing for awhile and when they want something tell them no and say your not getting nothing until you take care of what you already have
Sounds like they have too much stuff. It becomes overwhelming and things don’t get taken care of. Maybe have them donate old toys when they get new toys.
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This worked for me. I told my son pick up your toys and put them away … I give him 3x. Then I went in with a garbage bag and picked up all the toys and kept them. He cried and was a brat… nope. I had to do this several times… then he was asking for his tots bavk. Nope he has to EARN them back. Chores etc had to do this 2 times but it worked.
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To start, bust their butts, lock the stuff up and give them one thing at a time. Guarantee they won’t die!
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If they don’t respect or take care of their things, if it were me, I would NOT threaten to throw their stuff away. I would just do it, i’d throw it all away. And they would get just an outfit and shoes for their birthday like you said. But they are yours and what you decide is up to you but try to make it known without a doubt that they HAVE to respect their belongings and don’t bend on your rules or the things you say you will do.
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The hardest thing about being a parent is sticking to your guns/rules. If you told them they get no presents for their birthday then they get no presents. If you don’t mean what you say they will never learn. Lots of good advise on this feed though.
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I wouldn’t buy them any toys for their birthday I would do the outfit and shoes, just explain since they didn’t value the Christmas stuff they got, this is what happens you get boring clothes. Its hard to tough love! Stay strong mom!!
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Don’t give them anything. Make them realise the value of something by tough love. Spoiled kids grow expecting what they want and it makes life difficult for parents. Ask mine. I woke up when I didnt get what I wanted and had to work hard for it. It takes a while to programme the spoil out but it works. Owned and payed for my first house at 23.
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Have a party with cake and ice cream. Wrap the broken dolls and tablet and give them as gifts. When they can prove they appreciate things they will get the real presents. Just my opinion. I like it!!
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Definitely need to follow through on what you tell them your going to do. Maybe tell them instead of a presents they will get your undivided presence, and have a meaningful birthday with just your family, their favorite homemade meal and cake, and their favorite family activity, like a board game, movie night or family bike ride/walk around the neighborhood. I find that when my boys are acting out, some good family bonding time really helps bring them back to reality.
I get why you spent thousands but that right there is too much and probably the issue your teaching them …mom and dad feel bad they will do anything to make us feel better and they can afford to get more.
My parents had money but they never spent that much.
If we were good all year we got great presents enough to put under the tree.
I felt bad for my daughter being cooped up during the year
I got her a couple more presents than last year but I got creative and got the hard to find stuff.
Now this past holiday we saw people with children asking for food my daughter went up to a little girl and gave her $2 of her allowance and bought that little girl a toy instead of spending it on herself…proud mommy here.
She realizes now some children have nothing and she should be grateful
When she didn’t take care of her toys I threw them out in front her
She stopped.
Oh lol dolls those things break so easily we stopped getting them.
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I would avoid spending too much in the future on toys.
Maybe instead ask them what type of ‘party’ they want for their birthday in lieu of toys.
*spa day: soak feet, paint toes, facemasks and smoothies, new robe and slippers
*movie day: snack smorgasbord instead of dinner, new movies, new pjs
*Baking day: let them pick out a baked good to learn, new aprons (most kids will LOVE an apron)
And maybe alternate the toys- split it into lots of 4 and switch it week to week. That way you dont have to get rid of toys, but they’re not swimming in toys either
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I have to say that we are very “frugal” parents. Not because we can’t afford it, but because we want our children to appreciate what they DO HAVE. So, if I were in your shoes, i would TAKE IT ALL AWAY. All of it. It’s going to suck and you’re going to feel like you COMPLETELY failed as a parent, trust me, i KNOOOWWWWWW … But, if you want the kids to understand the concept of taking care of something, they will literally have to work for it.
In my home we all have “jobs”. And we all have chores we need to take care of for the house to function and look decent without one person having the whole burden. With that being said, I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. We want to spoil our kids rotten because we love them so so much, the world isn’t enough for them, it’s our job and RESPONSIBILITY to teach them that nothing is for free. Best of luck.
Time to start chores for allowance money. They need to be earning their own money for at least some of their toys, they are old enough, my 5 year old does it, the only time she’s given anything is on special occasions like birthdays and Christmas and holidays, anything else we have a chore chart she can earn money and I take her shopping or she can save for something big. It helped with that behavior. They will appreciate things way more. I promise.
I would keep it to necessities like clothing, shoes, books for education and one “play” thing until they showed more responsibility with their old toys and sit down and explain that’s what’ll be happening until behavior changed
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Money spent on doesnt equal love. I wouldnt go overboard on bday gifts. Set clear rules on what times electronics can be played after they earn that time… Bu doing certain chores… Finishing schoolwork…cleaning room. Make all electronic have a home base… Where they stay at till allowed and ask to play with. Thats where they go when done and where stay at night to be charged. We usually had everyone put things in kitchen… Even phones .
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I have 6 kids total. 20, 18, 15, 13 and 4 month old twins. When my oldest 2 were about 10 and 8 I saw the same issue. I took all there stuff, loaded it in trash bags and made it seem like I threw it all away. They only got cloths for their birthdays that year and on the next Christmas I wrapped up all the old Christmas gifts that I had “thrown away” and gave them the same stuff for Christmas. About 5 years later as teens I saw they were getting really entitled so we told them they weren’t getting anything and all the thousands of dollars for their Christmas gifts were going to be spent on other kids, we made them help us shop, wrap and delivery said presents. … it worked
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There is some good advice here honestly aside from some of the things that I mentioned I wouldn’t do gifts anymore do you just destination days. Let’s head out to the creek for the lake for the day things that create more memories not more toys. What I do in my household is this if I find something before it goes in a tote the tote is in plain sight and it’s locked they have to do something to earn that back now they have one week to get it back or it goes straight in the trash can and I don’t throw it away they throw it away on trash day so sometimes they get a little extra time
You overwhelmed them from the beginnings so there expect it .Don’t buy gifts make them donate their stuff .Their birthdays dollar store .Give them 10$ each and make them buy their own gift they learn what value is .I had 4 kids .
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You’ve got good intentions with what you’ve bought them and why. Kids don’t really understand the value of money at that age and probably value your interaction or simple fun…hell my toddler prefers to dig under the house with his dog than play with any expensive toy
Spend more family time with your kids. Forget the stuff. They don’t want that anyway. Stick to what you said about the birthday, too. Gifts are not love. Quality Time is love.
We’ve gone thru the same. It boils down to that I do so much for my kids (not even just monetary, but clothes, snacks always on deck, a clean house) that they take it for granted. They get a glimpse into being a mom and being “me” for a day and all that entails…laundry, budgeting, cleaning and dusting, cooking for a table of kids that suddenly “don’t eat that” etc. It works for a while and then they need a refresher lol. I also have a no warning policy that if it isn’t important enough for you to put it where it belongs, don’t bother looking for it later BC it’s in the trash. All my kids…from 19 to 6, have daily chores (and they don’t get an allowance)…those chores include trash duty, laundry for all 6 of us, bathroom deep cleaning, yard work, food shopping while tracking a budget. My biggest rule is that downstairs and common areas are to to be picked up and tidy at all times (put your crap away and if you see something out of place, pick it up even if it isn’t yours) and their bedrooms and playroom must be deep cleaned (organized, dusted, vacuumed, etc) once a week, but other days I let them have free reign in those spaces. They each have their own private bathrooms and those are checked daily (sinks and counters wiped, free of clutter, dirty clothes collected, mirrors wiped). I give my kids the world but I also know I am raising someone else’s spouse, parent. roommate, etc so I want them to be selfish sufficient and clean lol
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No I say give them five bucks tell them that’s their birthday money and now you’re going to a Walmart and buy 2 boo boo blankets at 2.50 each have them spend their $5 then find a homeless shelter or a kid out there on the street a single mom and abuse shelter and have them give their blanket away to a kid in need trust me it teaches them to start appreciating things a little bit more
Start going through with throwing things away. Empty threats mean nothing when it comes to kids. Buy them clothes or gift cards to pick their own clothes. They will learn one day. It may make you feel bad but teaching them now will save time in the long run.
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Stop threatening and do it! They are playing you… Tough love works! 
Give them chores. Make them earn their own money and then take them to the store and let them only buy what they can afford
I went threw that, on bday they got nothing. Following Christmas, I donated the amount I would have spent on them In their names to shelters. Straightened them out.
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Go to the dollar store for their bday presents . Tell them if you don’t see none of these Christmas presents in good shape by next year it will be back to the dollar store.
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Since you spent money on them for Christmas n not taking care of any of it. Buy them as weather n say happy birthday. Maybe donate some of their stuff to shelter in their names. Until they show respect for what is given to them stop buying
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Kids wont know the value of something if they dont work and earn it. From what I gather in your post, you give them everything they want which is great, but if they think it is easily replaceable then it holds no value. I would take all the presents away and put a chore list up. If they get all chores done then they can choose 1 thing and have it until the next day and so on and so forth. But i do agree that you need to be firm and stick to it, it will be hard but hopefully they will start to learn the value.
There’s your problem…you spent thousands on them…try teaching them its better to give than receive…adopt a new rule, tell them that they will be in future putting quarter of their weekly pocket money into a special bank a/c so they can either buy or give to others in need, and Christmas time…and you and your husband will do the same, and will be cutting drastically back on gifts that your children recieve, so you can bring others joy…don’t give up…perhaps you may have to look at why YOU decide they need so much…more so, they obversely don’t want or need them…you could do a combined donation and give it to "Kiwi Kids in “Need” or similar…
Make them donate to children that are in need. Then don’t buy them any for awhile and see how that works…good luck:pray:
my only suggestion is rebalancing wants and needs
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That’s the problem, you give them too much. One nice present and one much cheaper. They can play outside with a lot!!! Try it until their behavior changes.
I mean the thing is is it’s the age you got a wait to spend all that money when they get older and they can appreciate things I mean at seven and eight years old we got killing bugs and crowns in Barbie dolls maybe remote control cars you know stuff our parents knew we were going to destroy and didn’t spend a lot of money on
Stick to what you said about them not getting anything if the behavior continues. Follow through with that and keeping the items you have already taken until the can earn them back and show you and your husband that they can be responsible for it. Or make them give away the stuff they got if they can not treat it right!
Kids always get for Christmas and Birthdays no matter what here.
I told them anything left on the floor or broken was trash or donate- just gather that stuff up and put it in a black trash bag and ACTUALLY get rid of it
Exactly why I stopped buying excessive amounts of Christmas presents.
Something they wear, something they want, something they read and something they need. Of course we get a few toys and stuff but I follow those guidelines for the most part. I buy them clothes and shoes, books, and a few toys I KNOW they will play with. We also donate toys each year before Christmas to clear out space, that teaches them the value of their things and that they have it really good compared to others.
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They need love
Not toys!
Take that stuff and give it to charity and never buy them any thing just give them clothes to wear food to eat and a roof over there head
Don’t buy them anything else!!
Here’s the thing: you GAVE them those possession. They belong to them. If they fail to take care of them and the toys get broken, the consequence of that is that they can no longer play with them. Make it clear that you will not be replacing any items they break, and don’t worry about it. If you, as an adult, were gifted a really nice set of plates, and you broke them being careless, you would experience two natural consequences:
- You could no longer use the plates.
- You would have a mess to clean.
As an adult, nobody is going to punish you for breaking items you own that were given to you. Why should you punish your children beyond the real life consequences they’ll face in life?
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Why do you keep buying things for them?! Take EVERYTHING away and make them earn ALL of it back by doing chores, reading, volunteering, or exhibiting better behavior. YOU made them the monsters they’ve become - WOMAN UP and fix it!
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Tough love 
Is there a local food bank or homeless shelter they could volunteer at? (Restrictions might damper this) but when my (at the time) 14 yr old was behaving this way and not appreciating anything we as a family went to the food bank for the day and handed out food to the less fortunate. Then when we got home we talked about appreciation of where we are in our lives right now. And that we could easily be at the receiving end of that line today. It changed her point of view, and she still willingly volunteers often 4 years later.
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Dont threaten or use coercion. Rather pack away the more than necessary stuff as backup for use in a few weeks and then when they do play engage with them during their play, I have found that simple connection is usually the answer when there isn’t a deeper issue.
You say you’ve threatened to throw things away? I’m guessing you didn’t follow through. And putting things in your closet and saying they have to look after their stuff? I’m guessing they have that back now and they still aren’t taking care of their stuff.
You have to follow through with stuff. If they cry and they get their own way what are you teaching them? Just throw a fit and you can get anything you want?
Bag it all up, tell them if they want to treat their things like a baby would treat them they can start being treated like babies, and babies don’t have cool stuff
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So actually break something, tell them if you can break it and not take care of it, then so can I. Or literally take everything away and store it some place else so they can’t touch it. And leave them with only a handful of small toys. When they can learn to take care of those small toys, then they can slowly get their stuff back.
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At my house if a toy gets broken then it gets tossed and i dont replace it. I make my son throw it out too. If his room isnt clean or bed isnt made when he gets out of school he isnt allowed his video games till its done. Every day he comes home he goes straight to his room and makes his bed. His coat must be hung on a hook and his shoes put by the door. If its not no video games. He loves his gaming so he is always sure that these things are done. I also dont allow gaming during dinner. He has to wait till everyone is done. His dishes have to be rinsed and put in the dishwasher before he can play and no video games after 7pm. When he isnt playing his games have to be put in its spot. Otherwise ill put it away for the night. He is really good about doing his daily task. Better then anyone in the house. He is 5 yrs old. But this has always been a rule at our house. Everyone knows if mom picks it up. Its gone. I ask once to put things away if its not done its gone. Dvd remote controllers toys clothes. Bath time toys. If i have to take care of it. Then they must not want it anymore and its gone. I dont threaten argue or repeat myself. As a result i rarely ever have to pick things up and rooms are always clean. I have 2 teen step sons. Its the same rule for them. As a result they take better care of their things now then they used to. Oh god it was a fight at first. But i didnt back down and i stayed consistent.
I would let them pick what they want for dinner, get them something that they would need (like shoes or clothing) and then after that take them home. No point in making their birthdays huge if they can’t take care of what you got them for Christmas.
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Wrap their broken things and give them that
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I have a 8 and 9 year old and they are responsible for taking care of their room and stuff. I also have a 3 and 5 year old who always want to play with their stuff. So in order for the older ones not to have their things messed up by the younger ones they have to take care of it. Honestly, your the adult and you make the rules. If they were more responsible to make sure their stuff is nice then they would care more if it got messed up. I make my kids clean the toys, do dishes, fold their cloths, put away their plates after dinner, they also have to watch the 3 year old if I need to shower or do homework. Sometimes I will give them allowance for doing things around the house. But you have to make them realize that things are not free, they know that their dad works hard to provide for us and the reason he is not home all the time is so he can do that. Sometimes its a fight and I get back talk, but in the end they do what they are supposed to. Period!
I would be taking stuff away until they show respect. Then maybe buy 1 outfit. If you think its bad now, wait, because its going to get worse if you do nothing.
Try to save any toys they break until then
Glue the peices back on the dolls etc & those glued toys are now there bday presents
I’m right there with you mama, my 7 year old REFUSES to help clean/take care of her own stuff. Iv done EVERYTHING I can think of including taking everything away but her bed and blanket 
, grounding, spanking, standing on the wall, no deserts, you name it iv tried it! She still will throw the biggest fit to do anything 
. She’s currently grounded to her bed when she gets home from school for a week and it’s not phasing her one bit:woman_facepalming:…
Good luck to you and if you find the answer PLEASE share lol.
Have them go through their toys and donate some. Take them to see a homeless shelter. It may be hard to volunteer now due to covid but that’s what I did with my kids. Now almost every year we collect items for the homeless and pass them out around winter time
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At least u r realizing the error of ur ways while they r still young enough for u to change that trajectory. L parents want better for our kids than we had. I was one of five that grew up on a steel mill laborers salary. We got new shoes to start school and for Easter. It didn’t matter if they got too tight or not! I can only remember getting one main gift for Christmas and our bikes etc were all second hand. My husband grew up one of 11! On mother’s assistance with no father. We tried to give our kids everything they needed and what we could of what they wanted. They r all productive adults. Married with children. No drugs, no jail etc.
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Take everything. Guess they have nothing to break or not appreciate left. When they are bored tell them go kick rocks, play with a stick or use their imagination. I’ve thrown phones out windows and took all my kids shit. Got my point across. Good luck, hope your heathens start acting like your children again.
They should get nothing but happy birthday!
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If you give them everything they “want” or what you think they “need” you will perhaps get ungrateful children, I’m not an expert, but I know through life experiences you can’t win, if you give them it all or don’t give enough you end up being a bad parent in there eyes, not all kids end up being crabs however I don’t celebrate Christmas, but for birthday I ask my kids what they want you would be surprised how humble a child could be mine are teens now, when they were younger I would take them to the store and tell them the budget and I allowed them to pick whatever they want as their birthday gift. They would be excited to do the search and love that toy. To each there own, they are at the age they could start learning what it takes to earn things, by doing chores and others, there is a phase thou where they think we as “parents” should give them stuff because so and so has it, yeah I don’t think so.
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Make them earn it instead of just giving them things they don’t appreciate.
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They’re already spoiled brats. Jus sayin
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Stick to your word! It may hurt you too not being able to do for their birthdays but if you become serious about what you threaten, they will too.
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Take it all away. Or leave them the broken pieces.
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Number one rule of parenting is don’t make empty threats. Sit them down and explain all this to them. Then buy them essentials for birthdays and what you can afford.
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The intention behind showering them with gifts backfired but they are still young. A slow fix is best I think. Explaining cost , explaining that time spent/effort equals money etc, show value in that time … It takes x amount of time away working hard etc to provide just shelter and food as they desire continue to show what it takes to til those … Don’t make them feel guilty about it but as they see they in my experience ask for less , value it more and see things more realistically… Learning the value of money and time well spent. It’s fun bc it opens up new doors bc you look to save money when you respect it in this way. The special occassions are that much more so!
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If you think it’s bad now, wait until they get older. I personally wouldn’t buy anything for them for their birthday. Maybe a small cake and ice cream at home and that’s it. I would not spend my hard earned money on my kids if they didn’t appreciate and take care of it. Trust me. I been there with my now 10 and 9 year old. At the time they were 5 and 7. They thought they could act an ass at school and get away with it. I whooped their butts, grounded them sit in corners etc. But one day I had it. I took all their toys (and xbox) and made them throw everything away. Anything that was broken, bit on or cracked. Then got the good stuff and donated it. Besides the Xbox (we actually broke it). And to this day, they know if I say something I will do it. I’ve made them miss out on trick or treating, sit out on pool/beach days, etc. You can’t act right? Then you don’t deserve to enjoy fun time. Plain and simple. No matter how much they cry don’t give in. If you do, they will know you will always bend.
This is what you get for spending this much on them now they probably think hey Mom has all this money if we break something she will replace it
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Stop getting stuff for them don’t get bday gifts and of they ask why didn’t I get anything just tell them that "they don’t take care of the stuff they do have so why would I get anything else for u both "
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Tough love only comes in the color of ugly we sometimes have to use it.
Spoiled kids get nothing take them to a shelter let them serve people that should give them a wake up
Earn what you receive otherwise I’ll never respect it
Don’t buy them so much. Give them time rather than stuff/money. Buy them one gift for their birthday. Have a sort out. Mine is SEN so genuinely gets upset when things get broken but doesn’t take care of them! Saying it makes you sad is far more effective sometimes than shouting. And spanking does nothing except develop a hatred and fear of you.
We follow the four rule. Kids can get overwhelmed by so much stuff thrown at them. We do one to read, one to wear, something wanted, and something needed.
They are still.young. buy them each a few little things maybe something that helps organize their room? And keep confiscating things and making them earn it back.
Remove everything asap.
No more threats.
Act on your words.
Give them chores to do, and spend time reading books or do outdoor games.
Teach them how to grow plants, grow vegies.
As Parents we try to make our children happy, no matter what age they are.
Just follow through one day at a time, you will succeed.
Parenting has no rules!
Our children are all different.
Breathe!!!
You love your children so much, the things dont matter, your time with them does.
They’re so precious and give them lots of hugs.