Let me this straight you 2 are not together and he won’t let you get a job? He is nothing to you and you can do what you want and get a job
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PLEASE look for resources. You and your son go spend some time at the library (computer use)… Surely someone there could assist you in where to look. Once you start getting out on your own a little bit, your independence and confidence will build.
Your son should be old enough for at least half days at school. You could work part time and save some money. Little by little. 
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He WONT let you work ?!
Tell him to kick rocks take you child and leave get assistance until you get on your feet they will help with daycare and they will go after him for support !!
HE IS USING YOU !!!
Get away from him go live your life and be happy with your child
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Get out… shouldn’t even be living there still, yous are over, great that you can both co-parent but is he really as you say your left to do everything… your both using each other. Get in touch with a womens refuge and go from there you and your baby deserve better, get your good head on girl you can do it
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He won’t let you … And he isn’t your man, your husband or your dad?
I need an explanation as to why you live with someone, gave them full control over your life and now you’re shocked he’s acting like he owns you?
You need to leave. Immediately. Family, apply for aide, do something. File for custody and child support but you can not live there. 
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“won’t let you”
Say it again… How can he let you do anything? He doesn’t control you. Do what is best for you and your child and ignore what he says.
If you guys “reamined good friends” then he wouldn’t be treating you like that. Is that how you treat your friends? He’s using you.
Get a job, find a place, and move on with your life. Co-parenting may be easier under one roof but is it worth it if he’s not helping?
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Apply for all the assistance you can get especially right now since he is laid off… Max you get from unemployment is like 367 (around here anyways) so you should qualify for tanf food stamps section 8 do what you gotta do and get outta there… If there’s a will there’s always a way♥️ (((Hugs)))
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Contact WISH. Kick him out!
Please go to a domestic violence agency in your area. This is abuse. Financial abuse. Emotional and psychological abuse. Read up Tina Swithin posts on Facebook, her organization is One Mom’s Battle. Read her books (or listen on audiobooks) she has a private membership based forum, scholarships are available on a limited basis. She has authored several books that are must reads. She’s got lots of YouTube videos and a social media presence in Instagram and other platforms. You’re in an abusive relationship and you need to get your ducks in a row, quietly and stealth mode, and make an exit plan asap with the assistance of a DV shelter or organization.
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Baby, I hate to say it but you are being ABUSED. And I’m sorry so many people here lack empathy but there are TONS of resources- please reach out and get help- you and your child deserve it.
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He doesn’t get to decide if you work or not. If you must continue to live with him set up a care arrangements. On these days at these times he takes care of your child so you can work. If he refuses to agree to it, document it. If he agrees to it but doesn’t follow through, document it. Go out and get a job, any job, if he prevents you from working in anyway, document it. Don’t rely on him for things. Most womens shelters offer vouchers for work clothing and period products, or even provide them directly.
If he continues to prevent you from working, there are shelters which will help you. They will also help with housing, childcare, filing for child support and alimony(which if he’s prevented you from working in ANY way you will qualify for), and filing charges if you wish to for spousal abuse. You’re experiencing emotional and financial abuse. You need to remove yourself and your child from that environment, otherwise your son WILL grow up thinking this is how a father treats the mother of his children.
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Im confused on where you guys coparent? No judgement ive been there myself…girlllll if hes not worki g FUCK THAT
Your not together take your son and run ,thir is shelter for women that will help you and your son get out and a place to go, and you can get state help too. Start making calls get both of you outta of this.
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You need to pray, and ask Jesus to come into your !!! He will make the way as long as you ask and truly believe in the Lord Jesus Christ!!!
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If good friends he wouldn’t treat u like this
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Girl…your in an abusive relationship with your ex. The only thing you can do to better your situation is move out.
Tell ur sister in law to come get the animals or they will starve n die of thirst ( even if u dont really mean it) u dont have animals im assuming for a reason…your plate is full
You have a choice stay or leave
If you stay don’t expect anything different
You are being used and abused. Get help. If you were looking for clarification. Here it is. The ball is in your court.
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Sounds like even tho you “aren’t together” he’s controlling you. You are being used. He doesn’t want you but he doesn’t want anyone else to have you either. He apparently doesn’t care about you at all. Not that I’d want his support since you aren’t together but refusing for you to have a job and help out is beyond me. I have been working since I was 18 and I can’t imagine not working. You need to find a job pack your bags and leave. You aren’t co parenting. When you co parent you actually help with said child or children. And he def doesn’t control you. You aren’t his PROPERTY!!!
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He definitely has control issues! Time to fly that chicken coop. I would’ve left a long time ago. Get out and get yourself a job and move on. Don’t ever depend on a boy!!! I call him boy because he is not a man.
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Call social services and tell them y
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You need to call some lawyers and start applying for social services. It’s not a great situation but you can def get out of it. And start looking for jobs. In the mean time ask your family for some money for basic hygiene like a menstrual cup.
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You need to leave. Get a job. Get child support and get assistance and get out. You can still coparent. Your son will be fine. You need to be fine too.
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He is abusing you and using you! I know its easier said than done but girl you need to leave!
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Op where do you live?
Sign your son up for day care/ pci/ head start. Then get a part time save money. You can’t leave unless you have money or go to a shelter… They only way he will appreciate you is if you leave and teach him a lesson. Show him you can do it on your own and you don’t need him. Then if y’all stay broken up, child support!
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I do think you should look for a domestic abuse shelter. It may feel from the ground up… but you kind of already are there. Good luck & I wish you the very best!
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You have become a doormat and an unpaid servant. Emotional abuse can be as much and more than physical abuse. Call social services and see if they can guide you to a possible safe location for women and children. They have programs to help you get back on your feet. Take care.
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First Sell those chickens or bring them to the Humane Society.
Then contact a womans shelter and get yourself and your kid out of there. They will help you file for food stamps and child support. Then you can get child care and school or a job. It’s time to start building your own life.
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Put your son in school and work a day job?? Then start saving and putting money away until you find a place for you and your son
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Apply for housing assistance or something. You need to leave. Everything will work out, don’t stress it now. Just work on getting a home. I think housing can find you a low income based apartment or something.
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Girl you need to contact a domestic abuse program. Take your son and leave. There is help for you and your son.
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You find a way to get out of there and take his ass for everything you can get. Charge him for the last 4 years of being his daycare and maid! Yes I know its your child, but if you didn’t stay in thay house with him and split custody, he would have had to pay for childcare and take care of his own home.
I don’t understand the concept on “wont let me” leave the baby when he there and go look for work, or put his ass on child support if he dosent want you working, or try getting at home job with equipment provided. I wouldn’t be doing shit for him either, cook your meals for you and your son and leave the heathens to do for themselves. Sorry but its time to turn hard.
This is abuse if the ultimate. Get a job and get moving on
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And why can’t you work? Time to put your son in head start and find a job.
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There’s free preschool provided by state if you’re in the USA. Please help yourself and your child now. Get out of this.
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I’m going to be the bad guy here. You choose to live there and choose not to work, he is not required to support you financially. Put the child in pre-k, apply for assistance and go get a job is my suggestion.
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You can’t complain about your lifestyle and do nothing to improve it. No one lives under that much control. Grow up. Stand up for yourself. Do online schooling. Leave. You are enabling him to rule you.
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Find a women’s shelter. Him not letting you work is abuse.
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This is abuse. No access to clothes that fit and pads/tampons?? Wtf get out. Report the chickens to the Humane Society, go to a woman’s shelter they will help you get on your feet and FILE FOR CHILD SUPPORT AND FULL CUSTODY. Even if he’s unemployed if he’s getting unemployment, part of that is for your child and will automatically come out. “Great friends” don’t treat each other like this. You are being abused and treated like a servant. Your son will be next to be treated this way if you stay. Get out. Praying for you
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Enroll your son in preschool and look for a part time job. In the meanwhile apply for aid. There are programs to help you with childcare, low income housing, etc.
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Get a job
That will solve a lot of ur problems
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Yes he’s using you, honey.
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They call it financial abuse. You have made the first step in realizing something isn’t right. Next steps depends on your location and assistance available. Look up this site:
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Not sure if males can comment in this group but churches. Call or email all the churches in your area and someone will help. Churches offer shelters, food, sometimes housing, daycare, you name it. I hope you can leave this situation. I’ll pray for you.
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This may seem harsh and I dont mean anything by it, I understand your frustrations as a sahm. That being said, you are not together, he is not responsible for you, only your child. You are not responsible for picking up after him or your sister in laws chickens. But, if you pay no Bill’s inwould consider you doing those things as paying your way to stay. When it comes to necessities, he shouldnt have to buy your pads or her your nails done or pay for you to do anything. You need to focus on you. Idk if there are reasons why you “cant work” but if there are there are many resources available to you. You are the only one who has control over your life. But he is not obligated to take care of you nor let you stay there. I feel hes already doing you a favor. But he also shows no appreciation for the things you do either. You need to move on. And move out. He needs to provide for your child too in all ways. This just sounds like a mess. I wish you luck but I think you’re out of place with some of this. I’m a single mom. This is life. Where I go he goes. No one else does it for me. Be a strong woman again good luck. I wish you the best.
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Where Are you located? I’ll take those chickens for ya!
I don’t know how you can say you’re great friends when he won’t even buy you sanitary products and you say he won’t let you get a job which must mean he’s threatening you in some way… That is not any sort of friend especially a great one. There is a lot missing from this post and so many questions I have…like do you not plan to take your son with you? Why are you relying on someone you aren’t with to take care of you? If you are being abused and he physically won’t let you you need to utilize the resources in your area such as going to a woman’s shelter when you can escape or if that isn’t the case going to obtain daycare assistance and get yourself a job and get out of there.
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You should look for sources online to help a single mother like yourself. There are options. You just have to get the courage and look for resources. I know you’re scared right now, but you have to do what’s best for you and your kid. If he lays a hand on you or your son, call the police and press charges against him because no MAN would ever lay a finger on you. Right now, he’s a BOY, not a MAN. A man would make sure you have your basic needs even if y’all aren’t together. A boy would just walk all over you and not get your basic needs
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Definitely get a parenting plan in place and file for full custody and child support!
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If you PM me your address I will send you some basic toiletries untill you get on your feet! Does your kid have everything they need?
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Basic human decency is pads or sorry I forgot dinner I was on the toilet. Or o I left tissue on the plate for u. Damn. We don’t live in a 3rd world country. Planned parenthood or a church could help u get that free just ask honey.
Get on gov’t assistance, you’re eligible. There are free services.
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Of course he is using you and you are enabling him by allowing! Sinful!
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For God’s sake get a job and stop giving him power over you.
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Whose he tanning for… where is your happiness…self worth. The woman who moved in may be your replacement. Get plan B quick.
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Financial abuse. Take yourself and your son to a shelter, they’ll figure everything out for you, you wont lose your son, he has no right to control whether or not you can work and has no right to deprive you of basic needs and necessities. Its abuse and a control tactic. He has no right to use you like a slave, and as far as the other mother goes, who the fk is she to dump her kids on you? Get out before you have a mental breakdown!
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He not letting you get a job his not your daddy I would put my child in a daycare get a job then move out women do it now on there own I raise two childs myself
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Go on welfare sign up and jus do it until u can get on ur feet then u can get ur own place and start looking for a job… best way out !! So sorry for ur situation, he sounds like an ass.
Kick them out! Rent out empty rooms! Get a job! Problem solved! Best of luck! Brightest blessings!!
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What is this about him not letting you work??? You are grown and can do whatever you please. Your son in 4 is he not in preschool. If so get a little job while he is at school. That gives you enough money for the things you need. You can’t sit around waiting for your ex to help you have to make it happen for you and your son.
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Try TANF (or the equivalent in your state). Youre a single mom with no job. Thats food stamps(around 350) and 400$ in cash a month right there. You qualify for that, you also qualify for cccap. You qualify for any of those, you qualify for the head start program with daycare. Touition will be fully funded. From there they can help you with housing and jobs. If youre working with a case worker, you can get up to 4500 in tuition for cna etc. Taking from the government isnt easy because people see it as an easy way out, but it’s really a saving grace and well earned after hiw much the government takes from you. If you need to mama message me.
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Let you? F that. You can do it. He is NOT your friend. Seek from a women’s shelter, they can help with all that. No family or friends??? If not then at least go to a woman’s shelter. This will not get better. GET OUT for the sake of your sanity and both of yours safety
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DFS has lots of options that could help. They can help pay for child care while you’re in work, you can get food stamps, and when you are able to move you can get on POWER until you get on your feet to help with rent. Go talk to them. Explain the situation
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How can he not let you? You have no ties to him
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You’re going to have to take the next step. Remind him what you do versus what he does. Sounds like you’re doing all the work. Stop being a milk toast.
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See if there is a woman shelter near by,if you go there they will help you and your son
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You’ve allowed this for years that’s why. Stop being a doormat. Get ready tomorrow morning and go find yourself a job. There are 2 adults in the house they can handle everything you’ve been doing. Or go on welfare and apply for housing if you can’t trust them with your child.
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Don’t listen to him and go get a job secretly, then just pop him with the news that you have a job. Meal prep for you and for your son. Only clean your and your son’s stuff/ rooms and let him do his and cook for himself. You have to stand up for yourself or this will never end. Yes he won’t like it but he has to deal with it.
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Also, the people blaming you and saying “You gave him control” are dim-witted and shallow. It’s called abuse my desr. And these ladies have NEVER experienced it.
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Girl, you would be better going to a shelter and getting state support. Honestly. I would start applying to low income housing in your area
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File for state assistance for money/food for now and look into daycare programs so it won’t be up to him if you work or not. At the end of the day you are grown adult it’s not his choice. Take it one step At a time I know right now your situation feels helpless but it will get better you just have to work on it.
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Figure out how much he would owe a house keeper and babysitter. Then charge him.
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Please pack you & your sons bags & head to a women’s shelter. Call them 1st & let them guide you. You can do it! You & your son deserve peace & joy. None of which you have staying in that house. All the best mama 
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You can do this! See if there is shelters in your area and they always help you get on your feet. You have been his dormant long enough. These men think we will never leave them. But plan things and believe it or not there is help out there
Don’t put up with it anymore.you can get welfare assistant.explain to them exactly what your written down.surely they will help.
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You say you two are great friends but this situation seems rather toxic. He is calling all the shots, doesn’t allow you to work and takes all decisions about money. Get some legal advice on your options, look at job applications , ask close friends or family for help.Just take a first step.You deserve better.
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Any step you can make to get out of that situation is best. Give yourself some grace. He’s garbage. So take out the trash.
Apply for low income housing, file for child support, apply for Medicaid, ask a friend for a couch, go to a shelter, tell your family you are being ABUSED because honey you are. Any step that you make is progress. Get out of there. Much love hun I’m so sorry you have been in that situation.
You don’t sound like great friends. It sounds like you’re more of a live in maid than anything else. Have you ever heard of financial abuse? If not, you should look into it. As soon as your child starts school, get a job. If you can find someone to babysit, start working sooner than that. Have your check direct deposited so he can not steal or hide it on you. Save to move out. Also, I get why you live there, but why was your brother’s ex invited to stay there? Stop taking care of the chickens. They are her concern, not yours. Another thing, if you’re the one doing the grocery shopping, than buy yourself what you need. He may be financing everything, but you’re far from living there rent free. He can provide you with your basic necessities.
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Use are definitely not great friends
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Advice is to get a job and apply for daycare through the state… your not married so his income shouldn’t be your income. If you just share a child in common, stop letting this boy child have so much control over you & your life. Goodluck girl.
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Honey you can do bad by your selfe ,get up go get a job get a day care person and go to work get out of there
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I don’t believe anyone is this crazy to live this way. If this is really true you can do something about this. Stop the pity party.
Financial abuse is a real thing. You have valid needs and emotions. I know what this feels like but, being brutally honest here, you have to pull yourself out of the mind set of “he won’t let me”. There’s an easy solution to this: DO NOT ASK HIM FOR PERMISSION! You aren’t required to set yourself on fire to keep him warm.
And if you do decide to leave, take your son with you. He doesn’t deserve to live with that kind of dad. For some weird instinctual reason, we tend to excuse away bad or abusive behaviors from men, but your son will not get over it easily if you leave him there. Straighten your shoulders, raise your chin and take a deep breath. Givers have to have boundaries, because God knows takers don’t have any.
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You can come live with me rent free I need a helper & house cleaner and a hot meal when I get home from work… No strings attached! I already pay for my house … you can get a job here. Great schools too… I have Two spare bedrooms and I live in the country and love it
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He has no right to tell you what you can and can’t do…… contact Centrelink, child support and the commonwealth bank they will help you get out. Get a job and create a better life for you and your son……
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Get out now, call your local church, woman’s shelter and go, take your son with you. Stop allowing yourself to stay where you are clearly not wanted.
He isn’t your master. He can’t control you. You make your decisions to stay or go, to work or not and to cook and clean or not. This is on you, if you arent happy, then you have to decide that and make the change. If you aren’t willing to control your destiny, then sit back, shut up and let him control your life.
Go to local hospital asked to be admitted to me the mental health ward. He can not get you out. Social services. Will get you all the help you need. Make sure kids Re places in safety to.
He can not stop you from getting a job!
I say get a job. Save money and get out of that space you share.
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Where do you live? City and State? There are resources just about everywhere, it just depends on where you live what may be available. Are you so depressed in your situation that you can handle taking your son and going to a domestic violence shelter for women? Not a homeless shelter. If you think you are strong enough to do it I would strongly recommend it. You are a victim of financial abuse and isolation. They will help you get insurance, food, housing, child support, therapy, ect… for you and your son. The hardest part is getting out and staying gone. Change is scary BUT so is staying in your situation just because you are scared to take the leap. You really just have to think about your situation and your son’s and if you’re willing to take the leap and make the change. If you stick to it a year from now you may be struggling a little finacially but you will definitely be happier. Think about how nice it will be to not have to walk on eggshells around your ex and to have your own home and rules. It’s hard work but so worth it. First step would be to contact a hotline for domestic violence and have them help point you in the right direction. I hope this helps a little. I’ve been where you are and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Stay strong and just think about what you want to do and what you think is best for you and your child. You got this momma!
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Document everything. Take screenshots shots even anything to help you out in court. The state can help you out with food,housing even daycare
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There’s a way to get out of you actually try ya know. Sitting there and whining instead of actually figuring shit out for the kid is pitiful
Leave and go to a women’s shelter. This isn’t friendship, it is abuse.
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Find a domestic violence shelter and leave. It’s financial abuse. Take your kid with you.
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He’d have to take you to court call your local women’s shelter they will help you
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It’s abuse, you need to get out x
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I hope you open your eyes hun and get out of there, if not for yourself for your child they should not see you living like that
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