I feel everything that you are going thru,because you love your child.I completely understand that you don’t want too leave him.No one else takes care of your child the same as you do.99% of women are abused that are dependent on a man.
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Start calling churches. Call your 211 state helpline. Look for live in Nanny / housekeeping jobs, that will give you room and Board. Ask God to help. You have to step forward and try different things. It’s ok if not everything works out you at least have a better life. Contact shelters for women and children. They can help you out and help you rebuild your life.
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Go and get a job on the down lo! Then get ready for work. Hand the baby to him. Tell him he knows what to do for the baby, head out the door. Ask you walk out, yell over your shoulder, “the housework you’ll be doing, is greatly appreciated!! Bye!”
Good luck girlee.
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First, you need thtf out of there. You aren’t great friends, he’s simply using you as a maid. Get a job. Don’t ask permission, just do it.
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Won’t let you??? You are an ADULT. There are resources to help you if you want help. Good luck - we’re all behind you.
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There is always a way out - you have to choose your worth and refuse to put up with it … Set your boundaries. You are being taken advantage of. Quit being the victim and make you decision to leave. You are teaching your children to be the same - Be courageous and show your worth. Break the cycle. You can do it! I know … It will work out. Unless you make the decision nothing will change. Someone told me that and I was left with six daughters. I took a stand and showed me my worth. My daughters are all successful now and we survived. Make a choice and quit being used. It is up to you. There are choices - not the ones you want but there is always a way out!
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One thing i will advise you is leave and don’t look back.
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Sad for you. I would not be tending to chickens.
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Girl you better move out and get a job. You’re better than that.
Won’t let you work!..who the heck is he to tell you that… tell him to mind his own dang business or pay you a living wage!
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These comments are gross!! MAMA, CAN YOU PLEASE MESSAGE ME?? I know you probably want to stay anonymous but I want to help you!! I want to at least get you pads that you’ll always need!!
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You need to get on welfare asap!!
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Doesn’t sound like great friends at all. Sounds like he DOES USE YOU!
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He’s making you a slave. Literally. This is 2022 and you are a slave to him. I hate this for you and I wish I knew where you were so I could save you and your little one. You don’t have to take any of this. Do you have a vehicle of your own?
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Sounds like an abusive male tryna make u his slave/property u guys haven’t been together in over 4 years wherever u live reach out to resources go to a women’s shelter with ur son. U seriously need to get out. Like what u don’t even have basic hygein products ad a woman for your menstrual cycle. That’s legit abuse. Slavery. 0 respect. U need to get out go to a shelter they will help u find a job and low income housing.or get on assistance do whatever u need to to leave. Your wasting your only life away
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. Go to Social Services and get help for Pre K. Get services for food and possibly some money for basics. Get a job from home. Safe up quietly. Try to stay civil. Get help from legal aid and have your lawyer set up a meeting to calmly discusses co parenting. Good environment for child is essential. Does he spend time with his child? Reading . Playing catch? If he can’t provide a happy home for his child no sense in coparenting.He does need to be in the little ones life maybe just not together.If he doesn’t respect you then slowly and step by step get out.
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He won’t let you. You sound pathetic.
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I would go to a womens shelter until you get on your feet and file for child support. They have great resources and you will have basic toiletries. Gain control of your life your ex will only do to you what you allow.
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Get a job n get out!
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Sounds like a hostage situation to me… check out local resources, womans shelters… you don’t have to live like this… walk away and don’t look back! Without risk there will be no progress…
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Go to a women’s shelter and take your son with you. They will hook you up with finding a job and housing. Good luck.
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That is financial ABUSE! I recommend that you DOCUMENT it, as it could help you in court. More importantly make plans to get out quickly and safely. Once out file for custody, child support,& alimony (if you were married)… He will have nothing to say when he is forced to pay child support AND half of daycare. You and your child deserve better. Taking care of a child is a full time job that never ends. Together or not that is his son and his too so he should of maned up and did his share of the child rearing& housework. He needs to learn that his actions have consequences and when you play stupid games you win stupid prizes. I wish you luck.
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As soon as the child gets in school get you a part time job. But I wouldn’t leave a no rent or bills situation. That’s like money you don’t have to work for. Either way you have to clean and cook and take care of your household.
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Get out there your son will be starting school school get a job whilst he is at school or nursery for the 15hrs a week hes entitled too x he cannot make you not work, then save for a deposit and get a little place support is out there but you gotta get ojt of this depression stage and do something about it
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Women’s shelter mamas they will take you and your son in and help you get on your feet
I would secretly get on welfare and get help and run as far as you can.
OMG, get a job and get away from him. You’re basically his maid.
Stop being the live in maid. Just cook for you and your son or go to a family member for help you in moving out.
Get a job and take your son to a place both of you can live happily
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Please pm me your address so I can send u some stuff!
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He’s a controlling narcissist.
He’s an ex and your child’s father. Move out, get a job, and make him pay child support to help you with your guys son. Itll be tough at first but you can do it.
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He is abusing you. It’s all about control! He will pay support abd help with child care or help take care of your child abd you will have money for freaking pads! I wouldbt be taking care of chickens or cleaning after anyone but your son. Apply for state aid, food stamps, insurance, day care help and get out!
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See if u can find online income save and move
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Get out anyway you can.
“He won’t let me work while he’s laid off”
I’m sorry that’s an excuse! Why do you listen to what he says? Go get a job, get your child into child care and get financial freedom to move. I left my ex husband after coming up 16 years with him and we had 3 children I had no job there is never an excuse except the one you make. If you want better reach for better. I hope you find the strength to see your value . Good luck 
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Do it and do it soon…as Kim said…you CAN do it!!
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Ummmm yall aren’t together but he tells you what you can and cant do?? Hes just getting the best of both worlds. He has you at home to do everything and take care of your son while he can go out and sleep with whoever he wants. Plus he doesn’t have any financial responsibility to you either??? Yeah not a chance Id be in that house another second. He just doesn’t want the responsibility of caring for his son or paying you child support.
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There is always a way out
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Stop doing everything
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You need to just get your kids and go. Stop doing for him he’s not deserving of any of it. You’re being taken completely advantage of, not taken care of. Go to a shelter, call a friend or family, get a job. You can do it all.
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Just stop cleaning and cooking except for you andcyour son. When he says something tell him you are just a stay at home mom not his maid or cook. Place a few for everything you do for him
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Get a job. Without an income you are placing yourself at his mercy. If you want something different. You need to make it happen. Much peace and love ☆
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Women. Please don’t give up your job or career. It rarely works out well.
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What? He won’t let you work?…. How do you give anyone that much authority over you? He isn’t your boss and you can take your kid with you. There is a way out. File for government assistance, you can get food stamps, childcare, and also help with your bills. You can have a better life if you really want it.
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I am not going to tell you what to do, its nobodies place to do that. I do advocate for women who find themselves in this unfortunate position. Right now I hear the hopeless helpless feeling coming from your message and Im very sorry this is happening. It is possible there are resources available and would be happy to suggest some depending on where you are located. You are a wonderful beautiful person, you are important, you are a mommy that makes you extra special.
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Get a job. Apply for state benefits and daycare then go to a shelter if need be and they will have resources to help you find a place.
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You’re being held captive. Please please get out!!! Start an exit plan. Start saving money somehow. Get out!
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You’re both using each other. This is so dang toxic. He provides the roof and has an expectation of you cleaning and cooking in exchange. He’s not your man and its time for you to step up and provide for yourself. Get a job and get out of his house pronto.
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Most states have programs for TANf temporary assistance for needy families) some have cash assistance and rental help too I would see if you have local resources to help you so you are able to feel good about yourself and that your basic needs are met. I know lots of people who don’t have money for hair or nails BUT you should be able to to get feminine hygiene products or something. You know you and your deserve better and you do. Good luck!
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Time for u to go back to school
This situation sounds toxic AF! This is just crazy to me. So is the ex sister inaw he moved in his new gf??? Or just a friend. I’m just wondering if you guys do family things together, Christmas, vacation, family parties?? This is such a bizarre way to live… how do you guys date if you wanted to?? Just bring your bf or his gf home and expect everyone to be ok with that. Imagibe telling a new guy this is how you live… he would run… you owe it to yourself to move out… asap… You’re still in a relationship with him because he’s financing you (I understand barely but still) you don’t work and do all the wifey stuff without any commitment on either end. you need his help to keep a roof over yours and the kids head and he needs you to take care of the house and child. But why haven’t you got a job yet? It’s been at least 3 years of this and you’re ok with it? I know how hard it is to get a job with a little child and have no support or childcare, and you probably don’t even have a car, but still you should have found at least something part time and been saving up to get out of this toxic situationship. And what kind of person is he that he won’t even buy you pads? That’s shameful and ridiculous. If he’s buying everything else for the house and family he can buy those. Have you asked him? Or you just don’t want to?? You need to ask him… Toilet paper is not in anyway a suitable substitution for feminine products.if he won’t get them or give you a few bucks to get them That’s super messed up… Sounds like you need to just say oh well and go get a job while he’s laid off and save money to get out of there. Take your child with you, file for support and custody and just move on with your life already. You say your still great friends but you argue and he throws stuff in your face and he moves a girl in without talking to you, he does nothing and let’s you be a slave and doesn’t eve. Take care of your child. Your both using each other. Toxic
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Just go and get a job and move out. File for child support to help with the child expenses. Never say “he won’t let you”. He is not the boss of you now, and never will be
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This is astounding. You are an indentured servant.
Not even sanitary pads for your period?
This is abuse and labor exploitation .
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Move out get assistant when he pays child support it will change and get online get a education stop being a victim or yours kid will be one to
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Get a job, apply for state benefits, if your son is eligible for preschool place him in it or ask for childcare. Leave now before it is too late, you shouldn’t be dealing with that. This is abuse so most definitely get out and get help! For you and your son!
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Get a job…the buses are free.
.child care will most likely be lowered for you…he’s a lazy piece of shit…do nothing for any of them try to go somewhere else if you can
He uses you because you let him. Period
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Look to local and state economic services, the resources are out there. Start your own life and get out of this nightmare. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it. You and your child deserve it. Start with food stamps, cash benefits and rental assistance, many local and state municipalities will help you find housing. Many resources for child care, schooling and opportunities for your child. This is the exact situation these resources are intended for.
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sweetie get yourself a job and get out, you will feel so much better, get yourself some help it’s out there, people our there to help you
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Move out. File for child support. Follow the other posters great advice!!
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That sounds like some long game abuse. Try and find a job that will allow you to bring your son or maybe one at a daycare where you can bring him with you. It’s going to be hard but getting out will be worth it.
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I’ve been there. You need to leave.
Looks for housing assistance, food stamps and file for child support. Find assistance to get on your feet until you can get a job and child care. Soon your child will be starting school so daycare won’t be a issue. Be brave, take a deep breath and make the necessary leap to get started.
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Oh and document everything right now and once you’re out, find a pro Bono lawyer and go after him for everything in the divorce 
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Do you have relatives or friends that will help you till you get on your feet? Basic needs, especially pads, most resources in your town helps with alot if this. Yall are really consider coparents. Churches,united way,salvation army, food pantries, you can help or some basic needs for you and your child, yall are not married. But I would find out what my options are, a shelter that may help single parents. I’m sorry this is going on with you, this is a time you need to get out.
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make sure you have ALL documents with you including his account details, every little document is important in your fight to get away, off what little money he does provide put what you can away, on another note for your personal pads you can cut up old towels and reuse (soak and wash them) this saves on using the tp for that,
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The first time youre a victim, after that youre a volunteer. Find a therapist or a support group and do your own inner work to find out why you are excepting this arrangement. “He wont let you work???” My God make choices for yourself. He doesnt own you. You are trauma bonded to him and you need to fix that.
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Why are you still there
Take good advice i other peoples comments
Get your life back
He wont “let” you work? If he is laid off and home, leave him there with your son and go walk to find a job if need be. This is crap on all sorts of levels. It wont be easy but you will think the only way out is to die if you dont pick yourself up and fight for your life. Goodluck
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Get into a Womens shelter, take your baby with you. They will help you get all the basic hygiene, get a job, get childcare, and get a place to live that’s in your budget.
You can do better on your own, and have less responsibilities than taking care of grown ass adults that don’t respect you. Let them take care of their own house, their own pets, and their own selves.
He should be paying for half of everything. Just because he’s the father of your child doesn’t mean hes your child to lol. Seriously. Why cook for him every night when he’s just your room mate… and tell your sister if she doesn’t come and pick up her chickens you will give it all away. its not your responsibility.
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There are victims and there are volunteers. You’re not a victim. You don’t want to work and support yourself and he doesn’t want to support you. Put the kid in day care, get some training, get a job and stop taking care of the damn chickens.
You started off with “great friends” which contradicted everything you said after that.
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I had a controlling ex-husband like that. Best for you to walk, if for no other reason than self preservation! One step at a time, take your life back. Look for jobs. He isnt working anyways, so you have nothing to lose and there are plenty of good paying jobs out there begging for workers. Find a good job. Also check into free childcare. Check with churches. Many offer what is called a "Mother’s Day Out’ service, where one or two mom’s will watch other’s kids, while their moms work. Check into your State about something called CASA. CHILDCARE ASSIATANCE SERVICES CENTER. They will pay working moms childcare at where ever you take your kid to. Also check into Head Start at your local school. They take children of low income at age 3 yrs old and 4 year olds. It’s like a pre-kindergarten class to help prepare them for a class room setting. It’s free. You can work while your child is in school. Check to see if the school offers a ‘after care’ program, for working moms until 5-5:30 pm. (My son’s school had this.) Tell the ex that you are taking kiddo out to socialize him at a community program. You don’t have to explain anything beyond that. (And your not lying). Save up 2-3 paychecks, then when you have enough money get an apartment. Slowly move your stuff out, ( you can say you are ‘donating’ this stuff, if he asks). When he goes anywhere, move all the rest of your stuff out! Then your free of this toxic ex- relationship. It’s kinda hard, but with determination, you can do it. If you have a friend or relative with a car, who is willing to help you move and or get back and forth for job, that’s even better! Otherwise, your left with the bus system. In which case, you will only be able to leave with whatever you can carry. (Get a furnished apartment.) But LEAVE!
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If he is basically holding you caprive, which he is, then this is an example of human trafficking. Report his ass and get help!
Girl get you a job, cash assistance or something and buy you some pads!
Have some respect for yourself!!!
Stop feeding them chickens. It’s not another thing to do bc it’s not your problem!!! Stop being a “doormat” for everyone to dump their shit on and get your own shit together and get out of there! Get you a job, save and please, buy you some pads!!! They all are only going to treat you how you allow them too and the only way for them to treat you right is you gotta give them something to respect by first respecting yourself enough to be able to show them what you will and will not tolerate and chances are, they’ll leave!!! Or, I guess after enough is enough you’ll figure it out. Take your power back and find yourself again! You can do this!!! To hell with him, he’s a boy! I’d snip his balls and make him pay child support!!!
Start getting your things in order. Get all important documents together- like birth certificates, social security cards, etc. Then go to DES and apply for benefits (medical and food assistance, also WIC it’ll only last until he is 5yrs but its like extra benefits along with EBT.) Ask them where you can get low income housing. Seems like you’re not married to your sons father. So list yourself as single, don’t add him on anything. When you go to apply for housing, tell them you do have a place to stay but it’s temporary. This will put you higher on the list. Your son is at an age where he can attend preschool. This will benefit the both of you. As you can search for housing and hopefully a job while he’s in school and for him, he will make friends and be ready for kindergarten. This is what I had to do when I left my ex. I didn’t have anything but the clothes on our backs. I was only able to get what I have through donations and gov assistance. Now I am doing well and don’t need it. It is a lot of paperwork and running around, sometimes you will feel overwhelmed. But trust me- it’s worth it! Also, don’t forget to file for child support when you’re at DES. They also help with that but it is a different dept. You may not get it right away, but once you file it’ll be in the system and he will most likely have to back pay you from the date you filed. I truly hope everything works out for you and that you find the strength to leave. You and your son deserve so much better! 
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Get a job and move out.
Leave!! And where is your child tax credit!?? Go on OW until you get on your feet. They will even help you with moving costs and first and last. Good luck girl🙏get the heck outta there and live your life.
When a man isolates you it is because he fears losing control you gave it to him by allowing this now its up to you to take it back pray and God will make a way if you believe! I have been there but you stepped into it and you have to take the first step out of it!
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Put in for low income apt when it’s ready for and then get child support you will need money for deposit on electric and a deposit on apt start pinching Penny’s it will take awhile but then you will be free
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You do not deserve any of this. Whichever state you’re in call your counties DV agency. From your story so far he is absolutely financially and emotionally abusing you. You deserve better than that and you can bring your son into shelter with you. Pm if you want more info about the shelter I work with
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Go to Centerlink or the equivalent and see how they can help you transition to independence. This is financial abuse. Then you can afford daycare and at least work part time. All the best.
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I only got halfway through…Buck up and get out.
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Get a job ,save up ,take baby daddy to court for support, get out and save yourself .
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Get a job and move out!!! Steal that mf money Anyway you can !!
why don’t you go to work, put kid in childcare, file child support
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Go to a shelter. Take your son. Get a fresh start. It will be hard at first but a week or so in you will finally be able yo breathe and it will be the best feeling.
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Why can’t you get a job?
Get out of there. If he can’t even buy you PADS, I’d rather sleep in my damn car then “owe” him ANYTHING
Find an online job. Stop spinning things around the house other then take care of your son. Save money move out get on food stamps, walfare if you have to until you get on your feet that’s what it’s for. Your son will be taken care of because you will take care of him
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Leave, you’ll get benefits and help with rent ect till u get on your feet
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Find an organization that helps abused women and they will help you make a plan.
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Get you a cashapp if you don’t already I’m sure plenty of women who have been through this same situation would gladly donate money to get you to a better safer environment
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Trust in the Lord if your a believer. Get the hell out ASAP, God will provide. He performs miracles!
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Get a job and save your money and get food stamps and any help you can and take your son and get out and stay out. Then he see how much you do for him.
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Stop doing things that don’t benefit your son and get a job. Go to a shelter if you have to but you obviously know this isn’t a life so don’t take it lying down. You’re the only one who can save you
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Get a job save leave
For all of you saying “get a job and leave” it’s not that simple when a child is involved and you’re scared of Neglect.
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Apply for assistance & go. There are organizations that will help find you a rental, pay the deposit & get you on HUD while you find a job & reliable childcare. Apply for every assistance in your area. It’s hard, but you deserve to be more than a servant.
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Nope !!! You are a live in maid. That’s it. You need to make an exit plan. Find a lawyer, for child support & alimony… start a bank account. Of course he’s taking advantage of you !!! STOP LETTING HIM !!!
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