If its something that comes and goes and today is just a day where things were a big reminder that he’s irrational and stilling expecting then i can see where that’s frustrating for sure. But like a few people before me mentioned this shouldnt be something taking up too much of your energy. Some guys are deadbeats and other times, well make sure you’re sure of how you’ve been too. Maybe im biased because my husband’s bm has always twisted the story to be about parenting when really she just wants to but into his life for more than that and sometimes the guy just wants a new relationship that is normal, and not off to another county to see the kids and answering extra calls all week from someone who insisted on primary custody only to be denied when he cant appease the mom. No grown man is going to let his ex tell him his new partner isnt allowed around and that he has to answer phone calls. Its not that hard to text when its just a basic relay of info or what not. Its a double standard. Not saying thats you, but its common. And stepmoms get blamed for being the reason. Did someone literally tell you shes given him these rules?
They both sound like a-holes.
Get a divorce n you want have a problem. Share custody. He want have any choice. You both playing a dangerous game n it aint even necessary
She seems childish and clearly doesn’t have any of her own. If he’s not making an effort then why should you?
Let them have it I definitely would be saying something to the pair of them
Sounds like he don’t care. A real man/father would want to be with his kids . They wouldn’t listen to his girlfriend. I would just stop letting him have them honestly if he ain’t trying.
Off topic but you do know in some states this child your pregnant with is considered your husband’s child bc your still married. I’d look into the laws of your state.
He either steps up as a father or he steps out. End of story.
His girlfriend needs to grow up. He needs to dump her and hopefully will.
Divorce and child and alimony support.
Girl give up, it will not get better!!! Quit trying. If he wants to see them, he will come to you!
She needs to take a GIANT step back and he needs to grow a pair!!
Finalize the divorce and ask for some custody he will wake up kids don’t stand small or forget
He allows it so it’s his fault
Nope. You’re correct she shouldnt be dating a father
Um…is he 4?! HE chooses not to talk to you.
He’s a grown.
She ain’t his mama.
He needs to step up
Sounds like he’s in an abusive relationship
Are you positive that the girlfriend really said that or is he making excuses. My son’s dad never wanted to be a dad when he was in a relationship. My son is 17 and can’t stand his dad. He loves his stepmother. He always made it seem like it was her fault he didn’t see him but my son told me that his dad is the problem.
I’m stuck on the fact that you’re pregnant and still legally married! What type of example is that?!
I went through the same thing. My son’s dad’s girlfriend would not let him be in any contact with me. Blocked me from all social media. A year later and she is gone and now he wants to be involved. You have to decide if you want to put your kids through that. I would say stop making the effort for him. Keep the lines of communication open but wait for him to make contact, that shows his true colors. At the end of the day, though it is heartbreaking, especially as your kids get older, they will see it for what it is. Be strong momma you got this!
I wouldnt even get in contact with him anymore. If he wants to see them he can call. Ive been here. I learned along time ago to nit stress over what u cant control.
How old is his girlfriend? Sounds like he doesn’t want to be bothered or be a dad to his kids, which is a shame. He is missing out on his kids lives. You can’t force someone to be a father if they don’t want to. Do your kids ask to see or call him? STOP TRYING TO GET YOUR EX TO SEE HIS KIDS, he knows how to reach you IF he wants to see them… " You asked him, what if something happens to them"? He tells you to text him? Well if and when something does happen to your kids ( hopefully nothing does) and you do try to get ahold of him and he doesn’t answer you, then it’s HIS FAULT HIS PROBLEM, NOT YOURS! At least YOU TRIED!!! His girlfriend needs to stay out of your business when it comes to the kids, that is between you and your ex!!! If your kids are not asking to see or talk to their dad then don’t worry about it.
I feel he may be in an abusive relationship if his girlfriend won’t allow him to even speak to you regarding the children, if he is that controlled then he needs help. I know none of you will agree because you think all dads are useless and like to blame them for everything and take their kids off them, but this sounds like a classic abusive relationship and no he doesn’t need to man up he needs help.
Sounds like you all have some growing up to do. It has been a year and your still married already carrying another man’s baby and your husband is a sperm donor with no spine or integrity. Get a divorce and have him put on child support so you can provide a better life for your kids and remember they will follow your example. You can’t make that man care about or want to see his kids because if he really wanted to a girlfriend wouldn’t be able to stop him. Hopefully he will come to his senses one day.
Love just get on with your life and let him do the chasing of his kids. Maybe get a cheap pre-payed phone and tell him thats the number the kids will always call off so he knows its the kids and leave it at that. It doesn’t sound like it’s gonna get any better so your only setting yourself up for more heartache
He is the problem. He is Their Father, not her.
New girlfriend is controlling, insecure and immature. Let him suffer and find out on his own. He is a selfish gutless wonder and has zero interest in his biological children. They don’t need this sperm donor in their lives if he has no heartfelt connection to them. Focus on yourself and mental health and well-being and stregthen your relationship with your children.
Bottom line. The kids are the ones that pay for all this nonsense.
If i was you but I’m not I’d go to court and get a junction for him and her to stay away from the kids, you and the kids don’t need the stress there giving you and them…I know its alot to handle but you don’t need a part time father for your kids…Just tell him if he wants to see the kids he needs to come not her she really doesn’t need to be around your kids there not hers so she has no right sticking her nose in it…Thats what I’d do and tell them…
Start texting her all day every day. For every little thing. The kids say good night. The kids say good morning. The kids wanna see you. Drive her nuts.
…you ever think its him and not her?
So easy to blame a new partner…
I’m not a parent so my opinion might be moot but if he’s not actually stepping up and hasn’t for a whole year, then stop begging him, stop calling and stop texting him. He’s already made his decision to not have a relationship with his kids. 🤷
If he doesn’t want to make effort, fine. Their step daddy might be more of a dad then he is.
Focus on your children and do not contact him. Let him deal with his girlfriend and get a divorce before you have your next child.
She is an insecure, jealous, pathetic excuse of a woman. Your ex husband needs to grow a backbone & prioritize his children over some rebound chick. Do not contact him for any reason until he reaches out to speak to or see his kids. See how long it takes.
As their mother you need to PROTECT them against ALL and a neglectful and immature father who is really just not engaged is one of them. Tell the kids he’s out of the country and unreachable. Push your divorce and have your new blessing and just act like he doesn’t exist. The lawyers can hash all that out in the divorce and block his number. If he cares for them he’ll call around looking for them and figure something out. Don’t hold your breath ok.
It is not your concern how she behaves. Since he isn’t man enough to put the kids first, time to cut ties. If he wants to see his kids, let him go to court.
Let me say this:
My ex husbands girlfriend will not let him talk to me: Advice?.. NOT TRUE! He is a big man. He don’t want to talk to you or see the kids. A good father call, visit, love his kids. He is the problem, he don’t want to be a dad. Stop searching him. Your kids are better without him. Trust me. I know because the father of my son is just like your ex. He decided he don’t want to be a father anymore. So, let him go. My son and I are fine without him.
Maybe she’s insecure but just talk to them both
That’s not a man. That’s a little boy! Men put their children first, always. That’s sick. You’re not wrong, but she’s a beeeeech.
Icky.
I’d introduce a co parenting app
Just do you. If you even try to reason with them, you will get labeled the crazy bitch. You can’t force someone to be a parent.
I don’t even have any advice because this situation annoyed me so much…the only thing I have is to ask if you want me to punch them both in the face 
Oh love I feel sorry for you. I hope he gets rid of this one. I have had the same thing happening for 38 years now. If they start like this , they only get worse. My poor kids have had to deal with way to much From this terrible person and my ex never stood up to her and allowed this to happen all of these years. My kids have not seen their father for years and she is still posting shit about the kids and me and grand kids on a constant basis. Some woman just never grow up. She made him choose between her and the kids and he made the wrong decision for as far as we are concerned.
Tell him either he is a partner, or he isn’t, and it’s better if the kids don’t have him in their life. If that’s the case, you can file for sole legal custody, but stop catering to him. He wants them, tell him to make a schedule to see them and an effort. If it’s between them and his girl, and he chose the girl, then that shows where he puts them right there. So just let him be. And let him know that, from now on, you’re telling the kids the truth; he’s unavailable, because he has decided to live without them, and is too selfish to give a damn. But that you and your boyfriend will love them enough to make up for it. And send that in a text, so Ms Obsessed can read it, too.
Listen to me… put that man on child support get a recommended parenting time order from the court & live your life! Hopefully, the new man in your life is a man of integrity & can step up & be an awesome father figure to those kids. I wouldn’t call or text him for shit! Unless he can comply with the court order and be consistent in getting his kids I wouldn’t have A WORD for him! Nothing! You should’ve have to force him to be a father & I wouldn’t want my kids where there not wanted to many crazy people in this world. Is this man even trustworthy because the fact that he’s picked the woman that he has is questionable to me!
No your ex is refusing to talk to his kids!!! If he wanted to see or talk to his children he would!!! He is a piece of shit and sounds like you are all better off without him.
Nothing you can do until your ex decides he’s ready to take his balls back from his new GF 
She sounds like a narcissist to me
He’s a coward & your children are probably better off without him
Just release him into the world. Why drag dead weight? Just get on with your life you your new partner your children and the new baby. Live as though he doesn’t exist except for getting child support. Stop talking to the kids about Daddy and when they ask about him say he is busy. They will eventually quit asking because they will know the ‘answer’. It’s time women give up rolling out the red carpet for men who have lost interest in their kids. I mean who wants THAT guy in their kids lives? Don’t attempt to consult him or make him aware of anything going on with the kids…he doesn’t care. That’s pretty evident isn’t it? He will drift away…keep getting that child support…and the kids will come to know and love the family you and your partner provide them and honestly they are less hurt in the long run. Don’t answer his calls should they come, although I seriously doubt there will be any in fact he will be relieved and you will be freed of the constant turmoil trying to get a man to do something he doesn’t want to do. Release him emotionally and physically with blessings and live your happy life. One day the kids will seek him out and ask him why he was such an ASSHOLE!
I lived a similar scenario my kids were 14 mo old and 9 weeks invitro when their dad left and after years of making it easy for them to see him and he not responding to the invites with his gf included I just quit communicating and he just disappeared. The kids got older and asked questions and I told them his number call him and ask I can’t speak for him.
Say goodbye dear. Release him.
He needs to grow a set as much as she needs to grow the hell up. File that divorce. file for full custody since hes too worried about the girlfriend to not prioritize the kids.
Sounds like she does not want your kids around which would make me NOT want my kids around HER!
But also sounds like he doesn’t want to see the kids. He would rather see her!
I personally would quit talking to him. Let the kids call if they want to and if he doesn’t answer, well there’s nothing you can do about that.
You could take him to court and do 50/50 custody if you want him more involved and don’t want to have to call and text him to see the kids (sense he doesn’t answer anyway). Or you could get full custody and say fuck him.
Quit forcing the kids onto him. He’s a grown ass man…if he really wanted to see his kids…he would make that effort. It’s his LOST…not the babies!!! Trust ME!!!
The bottom line is, they’re his kids. So, it’s down to him if he’s not stepping up to the mark (whether she’s controing their relationship ship or not). He’s a shit dad by the sounds of it. You’re best off leaving him to crack on with whatever he’s too busy doing.
You can not like her all you want but the bigger issue here is him. HE ignores your texts and doesn’t answer, HE chooses to see his girlfriend over his kids, HE says he’s busy/says you have to tell him they want to talk to him ahead of time (wtf kind of shit is that) and HE waits for you to initiate visits. Be mad at the right person here
My ex’s ex girlfriend was like that. He cheated on me with her and for some reason she was jealous of me and my daughter (not sure why). I found out after they broke up how horrible she treated our daughter when our daughter was with them and was LIVID 
. When the broke up I texted her and told her not to ever contact my daughter EVER. She was trying to cause problems with me ex and his new girlfriend and was trying to pull my daughter into it. If I’d known at the time how she felt, I would’ve talked to both them and told her to cut her shit. He cheated on me with her so it’s not like I was taking her back
You are not wrong for disliking her! But he is also wrong … when a man truly loves their kids they will do anything for them no matter what their gfs say … he had kids before meeting her so her ass should’ve known what she was gonna have to deal with from the beginning … she is insecure and childish … to be honest the kids don’t need a father like that anyways … a “father” who puts a woman before them is no father but a “sperm donor” is all … 
Kids come first 100% of the time. She needs to get the hell over it and he needs to grow some cajones and tell her his kids come first
I had this happen to me lol my ex husband left me and our kids for my best friend lol she then told him he wasnt allowed to have any contact with me period. She even went as far as to arrange child pick up and drop off lol . that kind of behavior is childish and shes deff got some insecurity issues going on. at the end of the day he just doesnt want to be a dad and doesnt want the responsibility of raising kids. My advise to you would be to wash your hands clean of him and her. She doesnt want you to contact him fine then don’t. Go to court file for full custody and child support. At the end of the day the kids will figure out exactly the kind of man he is.
I would probably dislike her too and yes she has growing up to do but the real problem is your ex. He is allowing her to make these decisions and he chooses to not be there for his kids.
Hes a grown man! Nobody controls him. Hes a deadbeat and that’s all on him. Quit trying and when you go to court request full custody and he can pay child support. Also make sure your husband and boyfriend sign an affidavit saying your boyfriend is the dad or your husband will be the legal father.
A real man would tell his new hobby to go forth and do one…kids come first end of…go for full custody your fella your with now will take on the role of being a good daddy anyway
It’s all on him. Nothing and no one would keep me from my kids! He’s using her as an excuse. I would document everything and I do mean everything! Keep a calendar of when he actually sees them, who instigated the visit, calls and times he talked to them, etc you may need it later. Don’t try to push visits from him. It is what it is. She might be controlling, but it’s on him 100%!Just document, try to stay neutral for the kids sake and be there for them. Only worry about your kids and you. Get your divorce asap. What will be will be, but the documentation will help with custody. Go back and write everything down that you can remember now that has already passed. You will be glad you did in the long run. Including dates/times of texts and don’t delete those. Document, document, document!
Your ex has chosen his new flavor of the month over his children. It doesn’t matter what she says. If he were a real man, he would be there for his kids. Start preparing yourself now for the probability that Daddy may not be around much longer, because he clearly has his priorities backwards.
He’s choosing a bratty girl over his kids, simple as that. If she were an adult she would understand that his kids should come first and that includes speaking to his ex, if she is that insecure then she needs to go, if he were an actual man he would set her straight or get rid of her and be a father instead of a deadbeat baby daddy. Don’t go out of your way for them and don’t worry about it, the kids will suffer but you can’t stop that and as they get older they will definitely notice who is there and who isn’t.
You’re not wrong for disliking her, but it’s not all her fault. I say that because he’s allowing her to do this, and he’s okay with it. That’s a problem, the kids should always come first regardless and it seems like his girlfriend comes first in this situation. That’s super shitty… and what’s even worse is there’s not much you can do… you can’t make someone want to be a parent, but in the long run, your kids will get to an age they understand what’s going on. You’re not the one they’ll be mad at
It’s not her fault it’s his. No man or woman should ever put a significant other in front of their children. Stop blaming her, blame him and take him to court.
Either he’s using her as an excuse or she’s beyond insecure. Try talking to her to find the real problem to be able to figure it out. Cause if it’s her then you can push him. And find a way for her to get comfortable and grow up. But if it’s him then 🤷 he’s just a deadbeat and thats just how it goes. From experience find the problem so you stop trying let it go and be both the parents your children need.
You are not wrong any decent woman would reach out to you and encourage the daddy to be with his kids as much as possible. But I think ultimately it is still all %100 on him. He is apparantly allowing somebody to come between him and his kids and if he really wanted to be with them he wouldn’t allow it
She’s toxic and until he’s smart enough to know that then enjoy your kids. If he wants to call them he will if he wants to see them he will. They have you and they know! I’m sorry this is happening to you and your little ones but he has some growing up to do. He’s a father first and you can’t push him. Don’t call him, don’t text him and show them you’re not a bother to them and live your life with your new guy and again enjoy those kids!
I’d say leave him be. Why try to coparent with someone who isn’t even trying to be a parent. The kids have you and I’m sure your bf will love the kids as his own.
If he wanted to c the kids he would he makes the choice get on with your life otherwise it will effect your life and the rest of your family be strong your be ok
What a piece of shit. The ones who suffer are the kids. Keep track of all this for court.
It won’t matter; he has already decided to put her needs first. I would keep my kids at home, and I would make it clear that they come first. The kids will get to the point where they don’t want to see him. 
This women definitely seems to have him wrapped around her finger. However, I wouldn’t place all of the blame on her. He is a grown man that can make his own decisions regardless of what this girl tells him. He can decide whether he wants to see his children or not and unfortunately he is choosing her. Hes not worth it
My kids father was suppose to have kids every 2nd school holidays n ring them weekly Sunday nights that happened not my daughter has heard or seen him for nearly 12 years.
You could try 2 set up a regular time for kids to their father each week
He sounds like a d-bag! If he’s going to let another female dictate his life with the mother of his kids and/or his kids that’s his own fault. I’m sorry this is happening to you but I wouldn’t reach out to him at all. Let him make all the effort for the kids.
Yeah, she needs to grow up and I wouldn’t like her either but he’s a grown ass man, he’s CHOOSING this.
She needs to grow up and he needs to grow a set. Kids come first, boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, ur kids r forever. Hes the one losing out, cause the kids will remember and theyll learn to love ur boyfriend and hate their daddy.
Why would you want to keep trying? Sounds like he doesnt care…why should u? Let the kids get used to him not being in their lives and him letting himself be phased out of your lives. Better off.
He’s whipped and should grow a pair of balls
Sister quit reaching out. He has his family and the kids aren’t included. Let him.go
She is insecure as hell.
If you don’t get divorced before giving birth I believe your husband is automatically listed on the birth certificate no matter what… check your state!! And its going to say “baby girl/boy …”
Husband’s last name.
Huge problem for him also .She is insecure,clingy and jealous without reason.
Stop asking him to take the kids. Why put the kids where they aren’t wanted? Document and use it when you go to court for the divorce
Girl you better take them kids over to her house, knock on the door and say “it’s his time with his kids, here ya go. Ill be back on Sunday to get them.” And because she’s a douché send it in a text too.
(It’s on him to see them, but don’t let him wimp out or use a girl as an excuse.)
Wow! She’s very toxic! If he’s not smart enough to call his kids or aleast make a date to visit them then I would take him to court. He was a father first before having this new girlfriend in his life. He has some growing up to do. I wouldn’t call or text him to force him in their life. He clearly choose her before his own kids. You think the father of your kids would fight to see them…. The kids will figure out what type of man their father is. They have all you and your bfs love and support!
And you have every right to dislike this woman. She’s very controlling and she has him wrapped around her finger! The real problem is that your ex is allowing her to treat you and the kids terrible and choosing some women over his kids.
He sounds like he is using her as an excuse
Simple…take his a** to court, file for full custody and child support. Don’t ever beg a man to spend time with his children. Child support payments for 3 children will break him and he won’t have any extra money to spend on his girlfriend 
I think the one who needs to grow tf up is your ex! He’s a grown man, those are his kids, his responsibility. His current gf is immature sure, but he’s the dumbass who is with her and listening to her. I don’t think you should say anything to her, but you should definitely let his ass know. But in the end honey you cant make a guy be a dad, you can’t make him be a parent. He has to want to and until then your just gonna be waisting time, energy and effort trying to get your point across.
I can see why he’s an ex … and a spineless idiot too. Don’t forget that she can only get away with what he’s happy for her to do
This isn’t on her, he needs to man the fuck up. Cut that rope girlfriend. File for a divorce, get a parenting plan and move forward.
Don’t force him. If he’s not man enough to be a father, let him phase himself out. Don’t force them on him and the gf or the chance is very high they start abusing your kids.
Your not wrong. Co-parenting isn’t easy, and she needs to just deal with it.
Don’t call him ANYMORE 
I know it’s so hard to see your kids not get to see their dad… and I know that it would probably be nice to have some time without them (all moms and dads need that!!) But this is drama you don’t need!!! Move on. If I were you I’d get a lawyer, take him to court, divorce and get your well deserved child support. His girlfriend needs a kick in the teeth.
Erica knows, I agree.
He doesn’t want to be a Dad! She doesn’t have anything to do with what he’s doing to avoid his children! You were “in love” with an asshole!
He’s a pussy lol. I’d stop trying all together and get a lawyer…sadly you can’t force him to be a father…
I wouldn’t be asking him to take the kids. He can contact you when he wants to see them and leave it at that. If he doesn’t want to man up and be the father he should that’s on him. She’s insecure but you’ve moved on. He is too “baby” to stand up to her so he can’t shove it lol