My ex introduced his whole new wife to my kids. The way I look at is this…as long as my kids don’t have anything bad to say and she treats them well, that’s amazing. There aren’t enough people in this world to love our babies…in my case it turned out great and we are friends. I don’t care what he does…I’m in it for my kids!
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Do you get his permission to introduce your shared children to everyone you know? You can’t control everything. You have to let go unless he’s introducing them to every one night stand and calling them his girlfriend. Instead of getting angry, use it as an opportunity for a conversation between the two of you on expectations on such issues and compromise. Everything doesn’t have to be a battle. Show your kids you can co-parent and be adults about it.
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My dude didn’t ask permission of his BM before I met his daughter. We had been together 3 months. We have now been together almost a year and I am pregnant with his child. If he asked her for permission she would have said no. Pretty sure she got mad about it but there is nothing she could do to stop him from making his decision.
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In an ideal world with an ideal co parenting plan you would talk to each other about something like this but we don’t live in an ideal world and the reality is he doesn’t need your permission. If you trust him with the child you should trust him to make the right choices as to when he introduced a partner. My ex didn’t ask me before he introduced his gf at the time and I definitely didn’t ask him before introducing my partner
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Honestly he doesn’t need your permission. You’re not together, and that’s his child too. If he felt it time to meet his gf then that’s on him. Mind you, it sucks and some people blow through bf/gf like candy so it’s not good for the child … but again… it’s not something you can have control.over. at most you can try talking to him and seeing if he’d be willing to let you guys meet. Or at least talk… so you feel more comfortable. And let him know for future you’d like to discuss introducing bf/gf so both parties feel comfortable with whose around your child
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I see the anger, however, you don’t get to control who your ex introduces his child to. Would you give him the same respect you’re asking for if you had a new boyfriend that you wanted your kid to meet? He is still a parent to his child, and obviously he thought it was time that his child met her. He doesnt have to run it past you unless it was discussed beforehand that that should happen.
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Why does he need your permission to just introduce them? He is allowed to have a new love and do as he wished in his life.
Everyone always give common advice as if it’s suppose to be normal that this happens. We buy into dysfunctional relationships and families way to much. There is little family value here in America, and it makes me sad. Out of respect the father could’ve told mom he was going to introduce their child to his partner. Respect goes a long way. Does he need her permission, and vice versa no, but out of simple respect it would’ve been nice to hear from him that this is what he was going to do. Unrealistic expectations is causing way too much disgrace. Even if we decide that the relationship will not last after children we can be considerate towards each other’s feelings. Will the person stay in the child’s life, how will their influence affect the child, etc. for it to be five how it was, there’s no telling.
Yes been in that with my son… She thi ks she has the godgiven right. But she does not protect my grand kids so selfish… I would say its your right to say when they meet up eventually… Ring social services they will advise i am sure
While most moms will agree with you, legally…there isn’t much you can do. And it sucks!!! Hopefully he will choose good people. You could try to push it in court, in your papers, but in most cases it takes a lot to do that.
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It’s his life you cant control anything in his life .
I know this from experience… I’m divorced and he got in another relationship and he deserved to be able cause we are not together… as long as he feels that’s she safe that’s all I can ask
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So my ex husband and i went through this …he asked me to respect him and not have our kids around the guy I was dating which I understood but later I found out he’d been having girls he was fooling around with around our boys. The only thing that rubbed me wrong was I never met the girls and they weren’t ever staying around. I wanted to know the other person that my kids were around and I didn’t want my ex to pit the kids on the back burner cause the girls didn’t have kids. I feel like as biological parents you should be able to meet the exs new squeeze in a neutral environment so you can see the person that’s gonna be a bonus parent for you kiddos but also make sure the respect is never one sided with all parties. What matters most is how the child feel about that person being around too. Nothing is ever perfect but putting the child’s needs and happiness above everything is best.
I don’t believe he asked he has to ask your permission to introduce your children to his significant other in his time he can do as he chooses as long as he’s not hurting them and he’s providing a safe environment for them your time is over with him let him move on and be happy that way everyone can be happy and by the way you should find yourself someone to make you happy
We had it planned to involve each other of everything involving mine and my ex husbands daughter but he introduced someone he began seeing to her within two weeks and she was there the first time they even met.
I was mad because I didn’t find out for three months until she told me because he kept denying it then finally owned up to it after she told me.
I’m still mad over the fact he went behind my back and just didn’t give a heads up and that he did it secretly after agreeing to do one thing for a year but thankfully my daughter loves her and she loves my daughter.
I never asked my ex if I could introduce my boyfriend. I also didn’t do it right away. The only thing I did do is introduce my boyfriend to my ex. I felt like if he was going to be a part of our son’s life, he should know who he is. I can’t say the same happened with my ex and his wife but that’s on him.
My ex introduced his new girlfriend to our son as a friend from school and yet she is 15 years younger so she wasn’t even born yet when he was in high school 
he don’t need your permission! trust that he wouldn’t allow anyone in yall children life that would do harm to them. i personally wouldn’t care cause i set the bar high for my children.
I mean if she isn’t on drugs or an alcoholic. Like a-long time sober woman. Then I’d be glad to have my x moving on. But there isn’t a reason if it is not a serious relationship. Because then the kids become a part of the new person’s life, and can be affected. The best thing you could do as a parent is provide a safe relaxing and encouraging home environment.
Both my ex husbands have had my kids meet a million girls and have moved them in and out of girls houses while cheating with other girls and everything else. I hate my kids have had to see all that and it definitely lingers with them but honestly there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. That’s his choice while he has them, unless they’re doing illegal stuff and you can prove it then you’re pretty much outta luck.
The key to great parenting is to not worry about whats going on in the other parent household… As long as the kids are safe and no harm or danger is around there should be nothing to concern yourself with… You cannot run to household…
It would be great if you and your ex had that understanding that each of you would only introduce the kid(s) to a significant other only when it’s serious and only after you get to meet them. Reality is, he’s not obligated to. Hopefully he’s a good enough parent to not introduce them to every temporary thrill he meets. However if things get serious, he does not need your approval, permission, or a meeting with you prior to introducing the kid(s). It’s annoying, but true.
Mothers are not superior to the father UNLESS the father is deemed UNFIT! Permission is not needed but communication from one party to the other is important! Just my opinion tho. Everyone makes their own choices and most mothers think they’re the boss of everything. My way or no way type stuff. Which is a stupid way to be.
Better to let the child try to build a good relationship with the gf because in the end you’re going to want a good relation between the child and step parent. Be proud if the child loves the step parent. That is a very good important thing.
Let the kids be with the father he’s not gonna let her harm them and if she do he will takecare of that then again she may not like kids and dont want them around the kids will let u know how they feel meanwhile go have some fun relax its ur day off
I know I would struggle with this… BUT that’s just my personal feeling. He can do whatever he wants. If u all had a good coparenting relationship there might be a mutual respect and understanding as to why this is important to u. But technically it’s his choice.
If you trust your kids dad and he is a decent father I don’t see it as an issue. He gets to have a new life as do you. When both sides get angry about these things I see it as a control issue or jealousy. Now if he makes bad choices or does questionable things with his time then yes be pissed and keep those kids away from that environment until you feel they are safe to start visiting again.
He doesn’t need your permission. Are you gonna ask him for permission when you meet someone?? I most definitely did not ask my ex! He would have said no just for spite.
My boyfriend didn’t ask his ex for permission. His ex didn’t ask his permission, and neither did my ex’s. It bothered me the first time, but I can’t dictate what they do. I started looking at it like another person to love my kids, and what’s wrong about that?
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I have no useful advice, but my ex husband was taking my kids to his new woman’s house when he would get them on the weekends and spend the whole weekend over there. He doesn’t have set visitation, I was in treatment, and my parents were keeping them for me, and he told NONE of us what he was doing (one of my kids wasn’t his biological kid). Only found out when one of them slipped up and told us. I totally understand the feeling. They got married like 2 months later and although I’ve tried my best to coparent nicely, they act like I’m just the worst. Something important I’ve found out through this process is that you must take the high road and prove to your kids that conflict isn’t the answer (although one of these day’s I’m gonna break and I’m sure one or both of us will be in jail).
Unless you have full custody and you can prove that she will harm them, there isn’t a whole lot you can do.
None of your business really. I mean you trust him enough to have kids and you trust him enough for the kids to be with him without you, so why do you feel it necessary to know his girlfriend?
permission? Ain’t they 50% his? Doesn’t he want the same good things and safety you want for them?
Sure you could be upset but would you want to have to get his permission when you move on and feel comfortable with bringing a guy around?
No permission needed. Hopefully he is serious about this girl and that is why he is introducing the kids. Hopefully he is capable of making the judgement of this person being an acceptable person to be around the kids. Are you going to ask permission for him to me you be when and if the time comes?
I think it’s common curtesy to tell each other when ur ready for each other’s partner’s to meet the kids but that just me lol xx
It’s a courtesy for the father to say “hey, so and so is meeting child today”, but he doesnt need your permission.
if there’s nothing in the custody agreement about introducing the kids to boyfriends/girlfriends… there’a nothing anyone can do. does she have a right to be pissed? sure. of course. she can be mad about a lot of things. 
if it wasn’t spelled out before - do that ASAP, make an agreement about when you’ll introduce the kids next time.
if that WAS agreed on and he went on and did it anyway, that’s worth a call to your lawyer.
My ex did the same thing with our son right after setting an agreement with me to not introduce our gfs/bfs to our son until we had been dating them for almost a year because we both agreed that you don’t really know a person until you’ve been with them at least that long) and (I find out almost a year later) he moved right in with a woman right after he left me that he was most likely seeing months before he left me and had our son around her without my knowledge. I was absolutely livid because he broke an agreement between us and as a parent you should know who is going to be around your child. My ex also has a history of making very very poor choices
Of course he should of talked to you about it if you have a healthy co parenting relationship. Ultimately he doesn’t legally have to notify you. Im sure your kids are around plenty of people he doesn’t know when they’re with you.
He is other parent. You can’t control what he does or who he introduces his children to. May bother you but not your place. Get a counselor for your emotions
When it’s his turn to have his kids it shouldn’t matter what happens as long as no danger comes to them. He has a right to move on and so do you.
They are his kids just as much as they are yours. As long as they aren’t in harms way … there is nothing to do. Allow them to live their life.
Mind ya business. You probably don’t include him in all decisions you make either. Let the man live his life and you live yours.
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I would only be upset if they have been together for a short amount of time.
… you mean you still want control of who he is as a parent? That’s weird. Ask yourself why. You dont trust his judgement? Is he allowed to introduce anyone to his child? A new boss? Neighbor? Coworkers or friends? Or is it just the girlfriend part that upsets you? I say get over yourself. Big time. Its normal to want to make sure your child isnt around unsavory characters but this doesnt seem like that at all. Seems like a control issue and incase you didnt know, you shouldn’t strive for that and you lost any say when y’all split. If he’s not putting the child in harm’s way, sit down cupcake and pick your battles. You have no power over him and you shouldn’t use your child to try and gain any. Shame. On. You. And every. Last. One. Like. You.
Sounds like yall have control issues because a man shouldn’t haft to ask permission from his ex if he can bring a woman around his kids. First off he should do a background check on her first to see what she has been about and this should go for the ex’s bf too.
Do you need his permission to introduce your children to new people??
He doesn’t need your permission. If he has any morals though it shouldn’t just be a fling
Why would he need your permission? I see the reason for divorce. He does not need your permission for ANYTHING. The ONLY thing joint DECISIONS should be made on concerning the children are out of state excursions, medical care, extended visitation and that’s it. Permission, geesh.
Don’t fight it. The less you fight for control of everything the better the kids lives will. Its life things happen. Unless its hurting your kids just flow with it. I think its hurting your ego not theirs
if his there dad thats ok he dont need ur permission…that is life it might suck but ypur there mum they know that…time to build a bridge get yourself a man too
Would you tell him if you were introducing a boyfriend? Co parenting works both ways. Now if he demanded to know if you introduced someone to the kids then didn’t tell you that’s wrong
I get it but he doesn’t need your permission
Don’t know all the details but seems childish to get worked up over such a thing.
Um…do u ask his permission before introducing your kids to your man?
Did you agree to run it by each other first? Do you not trust his judgement?
He does not need your permission unless its in court papers that both of yall cant have gf/bf around children
Yea I wouldn’t be happy either… He could least av the decency to run it buy you first…
Why would he need your permission?
Is it on the custody order?
I’ve been divorce for 20 years . I was always ok with my kids meeting my ex’s gf because he’s just thst my ex
As long as she is nice to your kids who cares hes happy and ur not with him
Why does he need your permission? lol
Why does he need your permission
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Umm ,his life , his kids. He don’t need your permission. Next
He don’t need your permission
They are his kids just as much as they are yours ! You sound bitter
Wtf
Get over it he doesn’t need your permission
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Depends on how long him and the girlfriend have been together.
How old are the kids? You cant really control who your exs introduces your kids to when you are not there…just like he has no say who you have around your kids when hes not there, he is the parent to, and while it makes us uncomfortable it’s just life, as long as the kids are not telling you awful things about the new gf there is no reason for you to involve yourself. Do you tell him everytime you take your kids somewhere and give details of everyone that might have contact with your kids?
They are His kids too!!!
My ex did this with literally everyone he was with in any way. I let him know that my kids aren’t his score card. He’s a terrible father and was a terrible partner. After the second time I put my foot down. My kids lives aren’t there to convenience him only when he sees fit and ignore them the rest of the time.
My kids stopped asking for him to come over and stuff when he posted a picture of him and his latest fling’s kid and refused to talk to them.
They have my husband they have taken and put in that role themselves and he has been there for them for 12 years - even when he was just Mark, mommy’s boyfriend (after a year of us dating).
Take into context the whole situation. Then, decide on it and what exactly made you mad. If it’s just because he has someone else that’s one thing. If he’s using your kids as a trophy system to get laid, that’s another
get over it you’re not with him anymore
Ain’t it his kids too??
It’s not up to you…
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Without this being an argument from many others. In today’s world you can NEVER be too careful with who is around your child. My and my daughters father put it in our custodial agreement that we wait a 6 month period of being with a new partner before introducing our kid to them for multiple different reasons.
- It takes an average of 6 months for anyone to truly start knowing somebody.
- Kids do not need random people coming and going from their lives (especially if the child grows attachments)
- It is just out of respect for the parent to not just allow your kid to meet somebody right away.
I get it kids go out with parents to stores,malls,events people are all around. But this is more than a person it is now a huge part of your life as well as your kids. People take this topic way to lightly. Kids don’t need somebody coming and going. One week mom/ dads bf/gf is here next week they’re not. The following week its somebody new. How is that fair to a kid? Im not saying at all control your exa life and every move they make but show some respect to your kid.
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Are you really that childish ?!?!?
Your permission? 
Although it would have been nice he doesn’t need your permission to introduce his children to people in his life just like you don’t need his!!
nothing wrong with it. you and he are done. as long as she does not abuse the kids, nothing wrong with them meeting her. sounds like there are some feelings for him yet, and making you jealous. they are his kids too, and he has every right to introduce them
Permission isn’t required. Same happened to me, and I was also livid. There is no law that states who he can be around with his children.
I went one step further tho, he didn’t want to communicate with me regarding address and phone number, even tho my daughter spent the night there. It is in our court order that we know the whereabouts at all times. Momma does better research than the FBI. I have that info now, no thanks to him. Men suck.
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He doesn’t need your permission. 
hE iS yOuR eX sO yOu CaNt CoNtRoLl HiM
Grow up who fucking cares
This is honestly so petty and pathetic.
He doesn’t need your permission.
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I would be pissed too.
There is nothing u can do,just breathe n let it go. .
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Should he ask permission to take a crap too?
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He doesn’t need your permission to introduce his children to anyone. Just as you don’t. They’re his kids too. I didn’t know my kids met their dads gf, until my oldest told me they did. Did I flip out? No. I didn’t even say anything. I also met her officially as his gf, when he was stuck at work and couldn’t pick them up and asked if she could pick them up for him. When you split from your child’s other parent, there is going to be other people involved in your children’s lives. Whether you like it or not. And, no you don’t have a say if there is or not, and you don’t have a say if or when they meet. Would you ask his permission to introduce someone? Her doesn’t need your permission for anything really.
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He doesn’t need your permission. My ex husband never asked me and vice versa…and my kids didn’t mind…
If not an issue for the children, don’t turn it into one.
Why would he need your permission ?..she’s now his A !..your his X !..Thats 1 of the benefits of being an X !..You get no say !.. Sorry !.
My parents didn’t ask each other when my sister and I were introduced to their respective spouses
Consequences of a divorce 
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Its no different than you having a boyfriend? Why are you bitter? I am so glad my kids dad has a girlfriend. She does everything for my children and I wouldn’t want it any other way! We keep in touch as well. Me and her co-parent better than me and him. I couldn’t ask for a better baby momma:heart: jealousy is an ugly thing. Time to move on. Let 
him:clap:t3:live:clap:t3:his:clap:t3:life!
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Honestly I would be upset too. I used to be one of those parents who believed they didn’t need my permission but the problem is she is OUR kid not just his. So it is my business too. Especially after he introduced her to his new girlfriend and her dad without my permission and his girlfriend’s dad wound up touching her inappropriately. So yeah he doesn’t introduce her to anyone anymore without my permission or me being there.
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The mothers on this post scare me, so y’all just let anyone around your children or what?
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Why would he need your permission? Such a controlling thing to say. I suppose he needs your permission to pee too?
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I would want to meet her first, to make sure shes a stable person. Other than that, I think its important that you trust his decision. If he feels their relationship is getting serious enough to meet your kids, then so be it. Talk to him. Tell him that you want better communication without it becoming a fight. Whats done is done but from now on, make sure he knows
I’d be pissed off 2 ! He shouldn’t have done that without your permission or vice versa me and my ex are very good friends and we have an agreement that neither would do that with out the other one meeting there bf or gf first … but that’s also something we discussed if it was never a discussion then I wouldn’t really have any ground to stand on
It’s upsetting but nothing u can do! He doesn’t need your permission to do anything! Your the X, she’s number 1 now!
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I think that if it’s a new relationship he shouldn’t have introduced them to the new gf yet but if they’ve been together awhile and he introduced them it shouldn’t be a problem.
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