He has no say about whom you bring around the child you share. If a paper isn’t signed by a judge, it dont matter. Just make sure if you bring anyone around that he is so much more of a man than the ex.
Fuck that dude move on
Oh hell no! If the two of you are not together and he says to move on. Then move on… Well, you need to keep civil respect toward each other as you are her parents! It is now about your daughter and not you or her dad. If either one of you choose to move on just remember - don’t bring “dates” to meet her – their just dates – never have anyone “spend the night” - spend it elsewhere. Don’t disrespect your daughter!! Parents can make it work even though they aren’t together!!
As long as she is safe. Don’t worry about him. My oldest daughter’s dad tried the same. Told him to worry about him and not me. My kids are safe happy and healthy. And she has the best step daddy a kid could ask for. Now for a sperm donor. Not so much. He is jealous you will find better. Be you be happy a live life find you a good man.
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He has no say who you can and cannot see. As long as your baby is safe, and you’re not just bringing strangers around, his opinion does not matter.
He sounds like a bitter BD, tbh.
Go and be happy, mama. 
I understand him because if i was a single mom i wouldnt bring a man aroynd my baby unless i really knew him and getting to know someone takes longer than a year. He probably doesnt care if you move on he’s just trying to protect his child because you cant trust these men out there. Too many times we hear about the boyfriend killing his girlfriends kids.
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Lol all men say this when the relationship ends definitely not unexpected. But seriously you dont need to listen. Just make sure the next man around your child is a good man
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Sooooo he’s not bringing females around then right?
Cuz creeps aren’t JUST males…females do damage to kids to.
But ya. I agree with no new people around kiddo at first. Protects the child from people constantly dipping out, and allows time for you to evaluate the person and if they’re trustworthy to be around your child.
But ya. I love how it’s always “no men around my child!” And yet …women do it to.
So id just tell him “sure! But no females for you either!” …
See how fast he tries say it’s not the same lol
So date. If he tries anything, get a restraining order.
If you don’t stop him now, he’ll have control for the next 17yrs…just saying.
When the time comes and you find the right man, and after a respectable amount of time passes. (6 months or more) then do your thing. He can’t stop you. You shouldn’t have guys you date around your child so I mean you will need to arrange child care for your dates. But he can’t stop you
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Shes 1. She can’t tell the difference between a friend and romance so it’s not going to affect her in any way. I only dated 1 guy and hes now my husband, after my ex. But my ex dated like 7 women and introduced my daughter to every single one of them. She doesn’t remember any of them. It didn’t affect her in the least. As long as your not leaving her with your new boyfriend or any such thing. Taking a walk in a park with a new man isnt the end of the world. You know what’s appropriate and responsible to do and he has no control over it. I’m not saying first date introductions, but when your comfortable your comfortable. Alot of men say these things and yet the moment they have a new gf the rules go out the window. Be safe, but dont let him decide your life for you.
You go to court and get a court order of when his time is and when yours is and child lives with you. That way if the worst happens and he kicks off he cannot withhold your child over this
- He’s threatening you
- You’re grown and its your choice
- He is your ex so you don’t need to explain yourself anymore!
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Many girls are assaulted by their mothers boyfriends. Unless you have been dating for a long while and are serious then they shouldn’t be around.
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Kind of agree. I’m sorry. Run background checks on anyone you date. With a child you can’t be too careful
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Tell him too FUCK OFF
He can’t stop you unless it’s in some kind of legal agreement you two have that pertains to your daughter. And since you have her most of the time, it would be impossible for you to move on and date other people and he knows that. There’s literally nothing he can do or say about what you do with your private life. Let him try to do something, if he wants, but as long as you can show you’re providing a good life for your daughter and she’s safe, healthy, clean and happy, he’s shit outta luck.
None of his business mama!
Haven’t read other comments but he has a point. Go live your life mama, date, find someone else but until you know they are the real deal don’t introduce them to your kids. Too much disruption for them x
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He can’t do anything unless there is neglect. Make sure you get a custody agreement
Doesn’t mean you can’t date. Plus you wouldn’t want your daughter to see you with different dudes in the home. Think of her and her safety. Once you are in a serious relationship than you can introduce him to your daughter than later to your ex and be grown adults about it.
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That’s a threat!!! Get an injunction
It might be him trying to say not to bring a man around if you both are not serious about the relationship. My dad had the same thoughts when he and my mom divorced. But the way he’s going about it is wrong and very threatening like. That’s wrong too. If he’s asking this off you then it goes the same for him, no other females around the child if its not serious. Good luck and I hope things work out! I
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Use the little free time you get to date. When your Ex has your daughter then you are free to do as you please. This way it’s win/win! It keeps you and your daughter safe👍🏻
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That’s an empty threat. What’s he gonna do?? Don’t let him control you!
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I think you should focus on you and your daughter instead of worrying about dating
I wouldn’t personally bring a man around my child for at least a year.
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What a narcissistic asshole. Your daughter is as much yours as his. Tell him to piss off. Just introduce the new fella to your daughter when your sure its serious.
Girl…I too am in the same boat. I left my physically abusive relationship with my son’s father 1yr ago and have my son 100% of the time since we have split. He too has told me numerous times that I’m not allowed to bring another man around his son, when he doesnt even bother to see his son himself. I don’t plan to bring any random guy, but if I end up meeting someone I really care about, then damn straight I will. I am the same way when it comes to him and any girl he gets with…if it’s only a short term one night stand type girl, then hell no, she won’t be meeting my son, but if they’re was an actual possibility of a long term with them, then maybe I’ll make an exception and let my son meet her
That was a Threat. That did not come from a fatherly concern about the child you share. If it was concern he would be co-parenting…which is not you bearing 95% of the responsibility.
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Tell him to kiss your butt.
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Well IMO, if the proper time has passed and you know a new man is safe person then you can have him around your child and your ex can’t say shit. But your baby does not need to meet every one night stand
You can still have a relationship without bringing him around your daughter. You just plan dates on nights that your daughter is with her dad or you hire a babysitter for nights she’s with you. Don’t be one of those moms who constantly bring different guys in and out of her life. No one should be meeting her unless you’re in a serious relationship and he understands fully that your daughter is your main priority. I know so many women who think it’s okay to bring in their new guy immediately and it’s really not okay. As far as your ex goes, he doesn’t have a say when you can bring someone around your daughter. If he is making threats then you tell him he either stops with that shit or you’re gonna get a restraining order. This is not something to take lightly. Be smart and be mature about who you bring around your daughter. Just make sure it’s serious first. Don’t let your ex control you. It’s not his call. Once you do find someone worth being with, introduce him to your ex.
Your child is one, worry about her and not “moving on”. There’s more important things in life than your next man!
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Hey should not be threatening you that is unacceptable, he does not have any say about what you do with your life. but as the child’s father he has a right to request that men not be paraded in front his daughter. Just like any mother would not want strange women paraded in front of their child. Even going to court either party can request no contact with partners until a certain length of time has passed and even no overnight company .
Children get attached very easily and shouldn’t be and introduced the people untill you are real sure you want them in your life long term. Also anyone in contact with her should have a full background check.
Keep any threatening Texts and if you dont already have legal custudy get it .
Because he could just be an ass and keep her one time if you do get into a relationship.
All those verbal threats are DV…he cannot stop u from finding another loving partner…
Same as u can’t stop him having another partner…he is insecure within himself of his father role being taken away by another man.
Tell him that he will always be ur childs fsther and no man will come between that relationship…that might help to ease his anxieties.
Build a new relationship whilst child is visiting their dad. So u can be as sure as u can b before introducing ur child…then possibly to ur ex just to reassure him u are both safe.
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I went through this with my ex husband.
When I started dating again, I didn’t allow anyone meet her unless I thought the guy and I were serious.
If you and the site arent going long term, just leave the little one out of it. You can’t trust anyone around your child at first and you definitely don’t want to confuse the child.
If you ex is still acting like this after you’re committed to another relationship like my ex husband did for a couple years, I would think he just has some issues within himself
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He doesn’t need to know it’s not his business
Ok I agree with alot of these lady about 2 things. Please don’t bring a man around unless you two are serious. The ex can’t not tell you who you can have around.
I have a feeling your ex many have a posession side. Keep any threatening text & please don’t hesitate to contact the law. Make sure you & your daughter are safe!
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It makes sense for safety not to bring men around your child! Plus it can confuse them! However as a single parent it IS still possible to date.
I’m a single mother. My sons dad passed 9 years ago. But I never bring men around my son until we get to that commitment faze. If we get there. And even then they’ve only been introduced as a family friend! I’ve had boyfriends my son son has never met. And it’s possible by putting my son to bed and having my friend over after he’s asleep. To have dinner and a movie or ‘Netflix and chill’ or have someone watch/babysit him so I can spend time in/out of the house with my prospective partner.
Your ex needs to work on his issues. He may be worried about who’s around his child but it’s also something men say to control the situation/you.
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My step daughters mother told me us the same thing. I been with him for 2 years but have known him alot longer. She doesn’t like the idea that her daughter is 4 and calls me mommy. She was in jail for 18months of her life then went back in for another 9 months after only being out for 6 months. I was the only constant thing she had in her life so of course she is going to call me mommy. She even tried to tell the courts that she dont want me around her. Her father has full custody mom only get visitation rights. We live tougher. The judge told her to make better descions and she wouldn’t be in this situation
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You do you and the child…stop allowing this behavior from him…he’s a BF…not married…you know what u need to do!
Don’t bring men around ur daughter until u have been dating them for awhile ppl are weird and crazy these days
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Yes and no…I do not think you should bring another guy around your daughter till you know this is a long term thing and your daughter will be safe (many bad people out there who will treat your child bad behind your back…been there before) but once a certain amount of time has passed and you have more certainty then yes make the introduction. Your ex could be bitter about the break up and being replaced as a father, he could be concerned about his child’s safety or be could be being a jerk…we don’t know on this end but please do what is best for your child’s safety.
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Honestly he has a right just like you have a right to say who is and isn’t around yalls daughter my unborn son won’t be around any female that my child’s father is with unless they get serious 
. No need for unnecessary people around yalls child if they aren’t gonna be around that long. Just my
opinion though
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All yall saying stuff about the kid. She never said she was going to introduce them on the 1st date? I’m going to assume yall have never got remarried or kids have stepdads/ you being a step mom
Hate to say it but I can relate to his fears.He obviously fears that any abuse may be inflicted on your child and that tells me his heart is in the right place.While he cant control your decisions I would go by “my children doesnt meet every guy I meet and will only meet a special someone once I’m sure my child is safe and not at any risk policy”
No child needs to meet everybody we cross paths with…but ultimately when you have met the one then absolutely your child can meet that person.
He has your child best interest at heart.
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Not his decision. I’ve been a single mom since I’ve been pregnant. My son is 3 now. I have made the mistake of introducing a guy too early and the relationship not work out. I suggest either finding a sitter if you would like to go out on dates or have your date go to your house after your daughter is in bed asleep. Don’t introduce anyone to your child unless you are confident the relationship is serious and going somewhere… I suggest waiting at least 6 months. It’s easier to just introduce them right away but try to wait until you find the right relationship.
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I understand if he is being a protective father but women these days can be just as dangerous so I would tell him the same thing.
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Woukd u be ok if he had girls around her
Get a restraining order fuck that crazy shit then maybe move?
I would not bring a guy around till it was serious
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Everyone saying it’s none of his business of course it’s his business it’s HIS child too ! Concentrate on yourself and baby for a while a 1 year old needs their mama not to be sharing u with ur next man. Just my opinion
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Personally, my opinion, people shouldn’t have random men or women in an out of their kids lives. 
I choose to leave those 2 parts of life separate until you decide marriage/ long term.
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You can date as long as your not staying over together with the child but the child should never be alone with another man, things happen and maybe your ex wants to control you but maybe he is also genuinely protecting his child
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He can’t dictate what you do as long as you aren’t harming you daughter. If you have physical proof of the threats, like texts or voicemails I’d go file a restraining order against him. Those threats are just like saying if I can’t have you no one will. I will say that you should really get to know someone before introducing your child to them. But your ex has no right to make that decision. Does he bring other women around her? If he does then that’s a bit hypocritical isn’t it.
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You can date just make it on the weekend he (ex) has the baby
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You are communicating too much. Your conversations should almost be like a professional setting and do not need to be extensive. He still has control over you and he is trying to not lose that. you don’t realize how much freedom you have now. Make Your conversations through text only.
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how are u even thinking of this when u just broke up? now its understandable why he is afraid.
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But I’m sure it’s ok for him to bring other women around her
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What good mother brings men around their children til they have known them, their history, their friends and family. Read the news! Abuse, child rape, death… your child needs protection
#SaveOurChildren
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Girl wtf gonna happen? I don’t recommend bringing every guy you meet around her but thats your kid too fuck him
Some of you people act like you are supposed to just die after a break up. 
we are allowed to actually go on with our lives after
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He can’t control who you have around your child, just as you can’t control who he has around his child, unless that person is a threat to your child’s safety.
You don’t have to bring any men around your daughter while dating!! He shouldn’t be bringing any women around either!
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You really shouldn’t have a man you’re dating around your child until it’s a stable relationship. It would suck for her to get attached right away. And then y’all break up
He can’t tell you who to have around your kids but if it’s coming from a protective stand point, I agree.
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For her safety, not until you are serious about someone
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Just have a guy around your daughter and see what happens. Doubt anything and if it does then he’s the fool.
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Your life has nothing to do with him anymore so 
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These days you need to be extremely cautious about who is around your children. Keeping strange men away from your children is for her/him not anyone else.
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Honestly at this day and age you don’t need to be bringing any men around your daughter. Especially a man/men that you’ve just met and that you’re getting to barely know yourself! Give yourself time to adjust to being with someone different/new and getting to know them yourself before worrying about that someone meeting your kid.
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He’s just trying to protect his daughter. I would tell him that I’m gonna move on and will let him know when our daughter will be introduced to the new person. I would also assure him that our daughter will not be left alone in that other persons presence. He can’t control who you bring around without a court order but as a parent, I truly understand where he’s coming from.
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He won’t let you??? What’s he going to do? Sounds like a threat to me. I’d keep those messages and move on with your life and if anything happens you have proof he’s threatened you.
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As most are saying, it is 100% your decision who is around your child when she is with you. It is also your responsibility to use wisdom when making that decision.
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It’s a really thin line here… you have to use your best judgement. But if you get into a steady relationship introduce father and boyfriend. Do background checks also
None of his business and he has nothing to give for a court case. Keep to yourself more as someone said. Your ex just sounds like a wanker.
This happened to me years back when my ex and I split. Needless too say I didnt listen to him or threats. We broke up and unless I am putting my child in danger by having them around any new interest, it’s none of his concern.
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I am a single mother and I understand completely. I wish you the best and my advice is this do not let any man you date around your daughter until it becomes something serious. I have found that unfortunately thier are sick bastards in the world that love to prey on single mothers. The best way to find out is to take your time and find out who you are seeing before you pull your child in to it. Alot of time we forget that children get attached to who we are seeing also and when they leave it hurts them to. Get a baby sitter and go have fun just remember to protect your child. And let your ex know you will not have your child around someone you dont know or trust. Even offer to let them meet. Also he will get better with time right now feeling are still running high.
He cannot stop you from having a man around your daughter while you have her. He’s not letting you move on because you’re letting him continue to control you. Stop discussing your personal life with him. Only communicate specifically about your daughter and visitation. Then he won’t be able to tell you how to live your life.
Oh a side note, document everything he says so you can take it to the custody judge. He should not be saying things like “have a guy around my daughter and see what happens”. That is a threat and the judge presiding over your custody agreement will not appreciate him saying things like that. If you do not have a court ordered custody agreement, then you should get one ASAP. This will protect you and your daughter. It will also make it so he has to give her back at the end of his visits otherwise if he chooses to keep her there isn’t much police can do without a court ordered agreement since he is her father.
Ask him why he says that so you can see where his concern actually is (could be to control you, could be so yall’s daughter won’t grow up with a better man, or it could be because of all the sickos out here.)
Ask him do he think you’re suppose to stay single forever?
When you eventually start dating…is he opened to watch her since he doesn’t want her around other men?
Just pay close attention to guys when you start dating if you have to bring them around your daughter or when the time comes.
How long you spend with a guy means nothing…it’s not like they’ll eventually tell you if they’re a sicko or not. All you can do is pay attention & don’t EVER assume that they’ll never hurt your daughter…
don’t open any “doors” that could lead to it…leaving them alone with her, changing her, seeing her undressed, & so on. We live in a fkd up world and we have to protect our kids. A lot of them won’t do anything until they get the chance to.
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He can’t do anything about you bringing anyone around her. I went through this with my exhusband, there is literally nothing he can do about it
Ask him to have her and clear his schedule when you want to spend time with a man.
honestly I wouldn’t bring guys around your daughter until you have been with them for a while and it’s long term. Seems like it would cause an attachment problem otherwise. I‘m a single mom and it sucks ass not having “me” time. I know 
It’s none of his business who u see and vice versa!!!. Hes just tryna be controlling.
I mean would you want your kid to meet every random chick he went on a date with? Sorry but I agree with him at this point. Your kid is young and doesn’t need to meet every single man you think you like. It’s a scary world, guys have a way of pretending to be good guys and then end up being sick in the head. Protecting your daughter should be number 1. I personally wouldn’t have a guy around my kid unless we had been dating for an extended period of time and I really saw a future with him.
- hire a baby sitter and go on dates. If a man is really interested in you he’ll wait until your available. Shit some might even pay for the baby sitter.
Go to court and file full custody then he can’t do shit…
The fact that he’s trying to control you after the split up makes me think he might be narcisstic or insecure that some other man would be a better father figure. Either way, imo unless i’ve already been out with someone, I wouldn’t bring them around my kid anyway
I would state the same thing back -
No females around my daughter then.
Use the standard he set and see if it’s feasible as time goes on. At some point, each of you is going to want to introduce her to a new significant other
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A random ass dude dont need to meet your daughter right from jump. My boyfriend didn’t meet my son till 5 months
Firstly how long have you been apart? He may be defensive because it’s a recent break up. Also fathers are usually protective of their children and perhaps his scared this person could replace him. Maybe you need to have a conversation and organise for him to have more care of the child so you have more room to do you. A lot of people are saying it’s not his business but this child isn’t just yours. A child isn’t property. It take two to tango so both should be involved in decisions about the child. You may have the point of view that introducing this person to your child isn’t dangerous but he may have a different view.
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Don’t be controlled. You left him thats one step.
Do whatever the hell you want. You’ll never have a relationship if you believe his shit. Go to the police if you have to.
Then he can’t have any other woman around your daughter either, Do what you want, I split up with my ex husband when my kids were 1 & 3 yrs old, All thru out their lives, as kids, only saw me with 3 men , And one my daughter & her girlfriend fixed me up with (it was her girlfriend’s Uncle) And trust me I was with a lot more men then that (not that I was a whore 
) I just felt my kids didn’t need to be exposed to every man I ever went out with, Even after they were grown & out of the house, they still never met everyone. Really only one other guy, (PS I am still single & 67 yrs old I split from my ex when I was 20 yrs old )
I agree with the ex. She shouldn’t really have anyone around her kid until she knows knows them and maybe he’d be more comfortable if he met the guy first also. Unless its something serious she shouldn’t have her daughter around them
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To an extent I understand. You shouldn’t introduce every man you date to your daughter. If you think the man is a good person and you’ll be together a while then yes, absolutely introduce them. But I wouldn’t introduce someone you’ve only been dating like two weeks lol. You don’t want her confused if things go sour. Trust your gut always
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Same should go for him though no random girlfriends or hookups around the daughter. Predators can be women too. Be vigilant either way
In my own relationship we came to an agreement before having our kid that if we were to ever split men or women would not be involved in their lives until we knew it was stable and serious. We even decided to go to the extent of having our ex partner meet the new person 6 months in and if the relationship lasted up to a year, that’s when we as parents would come up with the consecutive decision to have our child meet this person. That being said, date and do it when she’s with her dad, his time with his daughter is just that and vice a versa. I’m sure he’s dating as well when your daughter is with you. So give it to yourself to date on your down time when she’s not with you. And as for bringing people around her, children need stability, you can’t have a revolving door or partners coming around them as that builds horrible examples to having her own love life in the future. Remember what you do set th example for their future. And with this world, it’s better safe than sorry to not bring someone around your children unless it’s serious and has been going on for awhile without the children being involved. We have to remind ourselves that most predators pray on lonely and desperate women with children knowing they’ll have every opportunity to be with the children even alone. So on one hand I get where he’s coming from, if you do date outside the time you have your daughter and he’s still giving you shit then he’s just being controlling and it’s none of his business what you do outside of the time you have daughter. At that point, set your boundaries with him and continue to be cautious and safe about who you bring your daughter around and when. Good luck! I hope you well on this journey.
Listen doll here’s the professional advice I was given not an opinion you are allowed to move on your ex does not need to know who you are or are not dating don’t allow them around your child until you’ve been together a while if he has concerns he raises them with you or ss who can do a home /background check and don’t have him overnight while your child’s there
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Lol. What you do on your time is none of his business. A judge will laugh in his face. Just remember, the same goes for you too. You cant control squat on his end either.
Ignore him. And make sure you have a legal court order in place
My kids father used to say the same thing. However his choice in females was never good. He had a couple really toxic relationships where they would physically beat the hell out of each other. I put my foot down and wouldn’t allow the kids around that either. I think dating with kids involved is tricky. Personally i don’t bring men home around my kids. If they are young it can confuse them and unless it’s serious you don’t want men and and out of their lives. Also nowadays you never know who anyone really is. You see all these horror stories. I dont want my kids being statistics. So he is prob just telling you this because he either wants to control you or maybe he’s just super worried.
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Just because you have a child together does not mean he can control you or you can control him. It is your discussion who you have around your child.