I mean don’t have random men around your child. If you’re dating for at least 4 months or longer before introducing him to the kid. You have every right to move on and no he can’t make you suffer for doing so. But make you’re you have a court order for custody and obey it.
Legally he has no say so stop being afraid. Now if he continues to threaten you take him to court for a restraining order. No judge will take your daughter away because you bring someone else around so dont be afraid.
Make sure you take your time getting to know your next partner. And keep them away from her until you’re sure theyre serious.
My psycho ex used to say the same thing to try and intimidate me. He has never stepped up or taken care of our daughter ever. He’s usually in prison and can’t support himself let alone a child. Since my dtr was four I’ve been with someone and we’re now engaged and have a son. My advice is SCREW HIM. You do not have to be alone bc you didn’t work out.
He can’t control who you have her around just like you can’t control who he has her around. The hope would be that you both do what’s best for her and not bring people around her until you actually KNOW that person…like 6months to a year.
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Introducing a new man in your life is something you do after you’re certain the relationship is serious. With that being said, your ex cannot legally prevent you from moving on with someone else. By him telling you that you can’t bring another man into the picture is his way of controlling you. Go to the courts and make sure you have FULL legal and physical custody.
It won’t be long till he moves on and he won’t care if u have a man ,he’s still hurting because u left him and that’s the last thing he can control ,I’d stay on ur own for a while enjoy being single
He’s only telling you that you can’t have a guy around your daughter because he does not want you to move on. If you have your daughter 95% time he has no say so. Tell him if he keeps threatening you saying you’ll see what happens you well go to court get a restraining order and the only way he will be able to see his daughter is through supervised visitation. That is what my friend did when she had the same problem and it made her ex stop and think.
You shouldn’t really bring random guys around either. I didnt introduce my now husband to my daughter until the relationship with him became more serious.
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I didn’t bring my new husband around my kids for a long time.
When I did introduce him I said he was going to be an art teacher for them for 2 hours every other week and we did this for a few months .
He is an artist so I wasn’t lying 
…
But about 8 months of this they stopped him and said do you like our mommy?
He said yes I do they said go ask her out ! We want you too.
My ex was upset but now sees that my new husband is a wonderful dad and husband …
He said I can’t be mad at you when you found the right guy for the job…
It wasn’t easy and hard hell at one point the judge told my ex husband in court you have no say in what she does or who !
As long as kids are happy and healthy you have no place
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Tell your ex he has no right to tell you what to do because he left because he’s the one that left you Tell your ex he can meet the guy that’s around your kids because he’s the one that left you but if he wants to meet the guy that you are with that’s fine but he needs to he needs to let you move on he needs to let you move on he needs to quit being so possessive over you That’s all it is is possession
He legally can’t tell you what to do! However I would be cautious who you keep around your child!
Don’t let him dictate your life.
Go to court and get a legal custody agreement so he can’t take of with your child and get away with it if you do something that pisses him off. As long as you are wise about who you have around your child, he won’t be able to do a damn thing about it.
My ex drug more “women” in and out of my daughters life than you could count…needless to say, she is now old enough to know what is actions were all about and now wants nothing to do with “him”…
You can’t trust people unless you take the time to know them. I wouldn’t have a random around my kids either until i had been in a steady relationship for a decent amount of time.
My partner’s ex and him agreed to meet a new partner before they spent a lot of time with the kids, so I met her 8 years ago but my partner was never given the same respect.
You can move on without involving your child. She doesn’t need to be meeting random people until its serious anyway
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He has no say. He can’t tell you who can and can’t be around your child unless there’s a safety issue and he takes you to court regarding it.
Noone can dictate to you when u choose to move on and allow another man into ur child’s life. Im sure ur a smart enough mum to know red flags etc and safety. He has no say in the matter unless safety is an issue. Do u boo
It goes both ways. What’s good for the goose is also good for the gander. Neither one should have the child around another BF nor GF . He sounds controlling and this is his way of trying to control you and your feelings. Use your best judgment with a potential boyfriend. Ignore the ex, use your own instincts as a mother . Throw those time limits out the window .
I’m sure u can figure out how to date and not bring the man around your kid until it’s serious. Even after that I’d never ever leave my kid alone with the man end of story.
My sister has done it for 10 years. She sends her kid to a babysitter if she wants to hang out. Hangs out when kid is with dad. Nothing has managed to turn serious so she’s never brought them
Over when her son is there. Your daughter is your first priority regardless of what the father is saying. You should want to use these safety precautions regardless of what he says
I’d also turn around and tell him any woman can be as bad as any man and that you expect the same from him. Especially when he barely has her he can certainly figure out how to not have women around during her time.
Track and document all of these interactions so you are ready for court if needed. Also, if he is threatening seek a restraining order.
You hire a babysitter. You go out when your daughter is with her dad or other family. You damn sure don’t involve a 1 year old in your dating life. I don’t even know where you would go on a “date” appropriate for a 1 yr old to tag along…and dating isn’t in your home hanging out with a baby. Have some self respect. Get your priorities together and grow up. No good man would want to play daddy on the first date, or even the first few months.
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Well you should really consider that it is his child too. And if he wishes that he doesnt want any men around his child you should respect that. You can be in relationship and date but do it on your own time when you dont have your child around. You really shouldn’t introduce children to potential partners until you are serious with them anyways. I’m with your ex on this one.
It truly sounds like hes jealous and wants to control you but at the same time dont bring your kid around someone who isn’t gonna stick around and if he does then maybe introduce him to your ex so he feels comfortable having y’alls daughter around him… otherwise dont worry about it.
Only introduce your child to some one that you would comfortable around her/him. He can say whatever he wants but it doesnt matter. As long as you are trying and dont make your child called your so"dad" at the beginning like some women/girls do, you are allowed to do what you want with who. Its a jealousy issue thats all it is
He has no right to tell you you cannot have another man around her. BUT what I will say is that you do not want to introduce any random guy. Please do not introduce the two until you know him very well and you know that there is potential for a future. For one it can confuse her, 2 you are potentially putting her in danger. Can never be too safe anymore. I learned the hard way with my ex husband (not the father of my kid).
Sounds like my ex! Best advise is to make your own calls and judgements. I mean if you’re a good mom all of the common precautions already ding in your head and nothing you’re reading is a surprise that you already didn’t didn’t know. He doesn’t get to threaten and dictate how you live your life. If he was that concerned he’d fought for more time with his kid. He gets to do whatever whenever he pleases and thinks he’s gonna threaten to make or prove a point? Nah don’t give him that advantage! Good luck
You need legal advice to gain full legal custody and get a court order for child support. This is the only way you can truly move on.
Unfortunately this is probably something you’ll have to deal with for quite awhile. My ex still questions me about who I’m dating and even goes as far to question our kids. I don’t tell him anything because it’s not his business. He still thinks that he can control me and what I do and I left him a year and a half ago. He’s only trying to scare you into doing what he wants you to.
My husband and I dated 8months before he introduced me to his children. They were 2 and 1. I have been in their life now for 12 years.
I personally would not bring a man or woman around my children until after we became serious. Not even introducing him as a friend. Once I knew we might work then I would start bringing him/her around to see how he/she works with my children.
I was in that situation, he’s butt hurt because you left him. You have every right to put yourself out there however I wouldn’t bring guys around that you don’t plan on keeping around. Date when you don’t have your child or find a sitter but don’t invite guys to the house or around your child unless you feel it’s something that’s going to last
That is the immature mentality that some boys have. He can not do anything to stop you from bringing a new partner around your daughter same way you can’t stop him from bringing a new girl around her. That being said, don’t just start bringing men around your daughter. You should date the guy for at least 6 months before you introduce them and at least a year before he is allowed to sleep over. Dont ever leave your child alone with him.
No way! He can’t dictate who you are allowed to have around your daughter. I mean, a bunch of men may be a little too much for a little girl because she won’t understand why they aren’t around anymore but a serious relationship is a different story. The only way he could get involved is if she were being abused. And even then he would have to do that legally through the courts.
Also, same goes for him. He can’t let some nasty woman around your daughter either. And it would be good on both parts if you could meet each other’s significant other as well. He needs to grow up and be adult about it 
what he gone do? Anyway. You should definitely be selective as a mom in who you date, and not every date needs to meet your child. I think it’s best to do/ not do what you would/wouldn’t want him doing with a new woman around y’all’s child.
Depending on what state you are in if your child was born out of wedlock you automatically have custody and he has no right to tell you how to live your life. I would suggest you look into the laws for your state.
Don’t leave your daughter alone with him.
Date without your child, have a family member or other trusted person watch your child.
If the relationship gets serious then go out with your daughter too on occasion. But until you know you can trust him completely don’t have him alone with your child. As far as your ex, he can’t dictate your personal life. I agree with going to get full custody and having more visits to dad so you are able to date and move on.
I have been with my fiance for 12 years and my daughter was 5 months old. If you want to date around that is one thing. But if the guy has kids and he brings his then that would be ok. You just need to be careful who and how many are coming and going.
I laughed at this because he sounds like my sons dad. I left him when I was 10 weeks pregnant. He found out that I was seeing someone new when my son was 10 months old and he hit me. He hasn’t seen my son since. My son is now 12 and my fiance of 5 years has just moved in. We had our reasons for waiting so long because we were both single parents. Date and form a relationships all you like hun, you will know when the time is right. Don’t listen to your ex xx
My husband was always terrified because of all the stories you hear about kids getting molested by their stepfather. His request was, until the baby could talk he asked that she hold off. She moved a guy in a month later so it didn’t work out, but that was his reasoning.
I am kind of confuse since when did it become a nono to have an adult relationship with anyone you all are acting like she not capable of knowing the do and don’t around her child please live your life have alot of friends of course watch who you bring in and who you leave alone with the child but be all means live it will teach your child how to strive in life lots of roles models and when you have that super adult relationship keep it to a minimum until you know where it going and definitely do not let him control you
You need to go to court. Get full custody and a restraining order against him. No one runs your life but you. Period
I agree men don’t need to know everything unless he has you followed.
Go to court get legal custody, live your life. Unless he’s babysitting 100% of the time you are with your new man
I have my own rule that nobody I am dating comes around my kids until its talking marriage serious.
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Sounds like your priorities need sorting. Shes one…focus on her bonding with you and her own father before worrying about a boyfriend.
Of course, your ex can’t decide that for you, nor should he. Im sure hes just concerned and rightfully so. You never know what these strange men are capable of!
Sorry, your BD is a dick and has no right to tell you that you can’t have another person around your child or children. As long as said new person is not a creeper, abuser or anything as such then why not. If he can have a new woman around your child then you’re allowed to see another man.
That isn’t his decision. Live your life. Get the authorities involved if your have too. He can’t dictate who you can be with. Just like you can’t dictate who he is with.
I wouldn’t let him rule u that’s what he’s trying to do he will move on also I got this to and didn’t listen me and my partner r together 6 yrs now just do what’s best for u and ur daughter don’t worry about him it’s just a control thing he will get over it
He has ZERO say in that. However babe; be careful with it. You dont want her getting attached to someone who doesn’t stay. Or god forbid a repeat of her father leaving. He has NO SAY over you and your life.
File for custody make sure you bring that up. Chances are a judge will tell him there is nothing he can do about that. He will make your life hell
File for full custody and have a parenting plan in place that outlines this!!
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I gotta believe you’re smart enough to make your own decisions. You know when it is time to introduce a guy to your kid. You know when it’s time to date again
I’d take him to court; taking a personal issue to Facebook only results in others’ anecdotes and beliefs based on their experiences. Every case and every state differs.
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Tell him to kiss your ass, walk away & see whoever you please, as long as that person is a good person and if he continues to threaten you in any way, take out a warrant on him for threats & get a protection order against him.
You can’t blame him, she is so young…and not putting a woman down since I am one, we can be very naive in our thinking…you need to keep any men away from your daughter until proven he really is a good guy…or your daughter is old enough to tell you the truth…there are many sick people out there and many get taken advantage, don’t let you or your daughter be one of them
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He want let you !!! That right there means you need to get professing all advice. He might not trust another man because he can’t trust himself. Be aware of everything that is going on on in your daughter’s life. I would not trust him around his on daughter !!
When he has her go out on dates let others know you have a daughter when the time is right for you no one else then introduce her to him if all your doing is “netflix and chill” then he isn’t worth you introducing your child to no matter what anyone says on here or your ex it’s all up to you if your relationship lasts longer then a few months then introduce them in a public setting but, again if it’s just a butt buddy thing then it’s not serious and you don’t want to confuse your child
He’s trying to take control of.you even tho your not together anymore. Tell him , what you do with your life , and who you bring around them , as long as they are no harm to the child, it has absolutely nothing to do with him if you were to have a partner and bring g him around your child. He’s being very controlling and you need to stop him in his tracks.
What a knob, he clearly can’t move on himself just because you have and he sounds like a very jelous one. Don’t let him control you because thatswhat he wants. I can understand he is protecting his little girl but he needs to back off at what you do with your life
I don’t disagree unless it’s a long time boyfriend but no man should be around your child unless u are in a serious relationship and u trust him completely
Until then it’s a no go
He’s your ex. He can’t make you stay single for the rest of your life. He says he don’t care if you move on but how you supposed to move on if you can’t introduce your child when ready to do that. Nope he doesn’t have any say in that. What if your child is with him does the same rules apply he can let your child near any girls he dates. I don’t think she needs to meet all the guys but if you think you and he are ready to introduce her because the relationship is moving forward then do it.
I’d keep any new men away from your daughter for a long time. Child predators prey on women in your situation. Protecting your child should be at the forefront of your mind.
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I personally feel like your kids shouldn’t meet everyone you date. If you’ve been together awhile and feel that it’s gonna be long term that’s different. Also, BOYFRIENDS ARENT BABYSITTERS!! All these mom’s leaving their kids with their boyfriends and they end up dead. Regardless it’s not up to dad 
Tell him you want the same conditions . Honestly he can’t tell you what to do . The sooner you let him know that the better it’s going to be for all of you . He has ABSOLUTELY NO right to tell you who and when you can see someone. Sounds like he’s trying to have his cake and eat it too .
My personal opinion is that you don’t bring anyone around your child unless you e been in a relationship for a solid 3-6 months. Even that long you can’t truly know a person. NEVER left alone with that person. And I MEAN NEVER!
He cant stop you from moving on, you’re giving him that control and I will bet you anything he is eating it up and LOVING it!!
BUT I wouldnt introduce her to anyone that you’ve not been together long enough to have become serious.
I was and am the same with my ex but that’s only to ensure my kids safety. You never know what kind of person you’re letting around your kids so find someone to watch her so you can go on dates to get to know him better and see if that’s the kind of person you’ll want around your kids… also my ex was the same way but he watched our kids when I had a date.
Be careful, there are mfs who like to date single mothers just to get near their kids and do their sick sh.t.
Most of you desperate ladies think that it’s impossible to live without a man. Date them and keep them away from your kids. Better safe than sorry.
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If you have nothing filed. He has no say. Even in most divorce paperwork you can’t add a clause like that in
He cannot stop you from having anyone around your daughter unless that person is a threat to her safety or wellbeing. You can always allow your ex to meet whomever you are dating before that person meets your daughter. I do advice having a fair amount of time in with the person before introducing them to your daughter.
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You need to find out what the laws are. My cousin and his baby momma split and he could have a girlfriend but she wasn’t able to spend the night because of state laws.
This has nothing to do with your daughter. This has to do with controlling you. He doesn’t want you to be with anyone else. I agree with others that say not to bring everyone around your child. Make good choices and it will be ok.
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He doesnt control your life… or who your daughter is around when she is with you. There is absolutely zero he can do about it. Now that being said, I wouldn’t bring anyone around until you are in a serious committed relationship.
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As long as you get to know this guy. Take time, do as much background check as you can. I took 6 months of dating a guy once, to get to know, before we even introduced our kids to each other. Your children are your precious world don’t let any one person destroy that by bringing them around your child, if you don’t really know who they are.
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He has no control over that but would only have child around someone you get serious with. If he is still making threats there is legal aves you can take
men you aren’t serious about shouldn’t be around your children as a rule of thumb just to keep them safe. By the time you meet someone and you both decide its serious you can then introduce them to your child. until then when you go on dates have your child with a sitter.
And yes you need to be careful who you have around your kids too there is too many bad people out there because I’ve yet because I’ve learned that my lesson a long time ago
Just go easy. Dont wanna introduce new people into a kid’s life too soon so they get attached and it doesn’t Work out. Just give it time. And when you can, get a sitter and go on a date. But don’t bring them home until you are both serious. I left my son’s dad when our son was 18 months old. Dated around and stuff but didnt meet my current guy til he was 4 years old. We have been together over 2 years now. It will happen if you want it to.
Say nothing, it’s not worth the drama assuming you are not in a new relationship. Time will pass and he will move on. Just keep your own council and ignore his threats x x
According to the judge in my case, he can no more tell you who can be around your child than you can when she’s with him. Just be careful. Lot of weirdos out there.
It’s perfectly okay to date around, but wouldn’t introduce her till you find that special someone. Maybe he’ll baby sit on date night
Also remember there are sick people on this world. Men will date women for their children. Do it out of respect for yourself and child. Got to be very careful these days!!! Good luck!!!
Literally all threats. Dont allow him any access to your personal life. If you have another man in your life he doesnt need to know, and if he does find out then he can say whatever he wants to.
Its none of his business, his business is your guys’ kid and thats it. Nothing more.
Dont let it bother you or what he has to say have an impact on how you move on. Its your life you are free to do as you wish
He won’t “let” you? What exactly do you think he’s going to do? Call the cops because you’re dating someone else? He’s just mad & jealous & saying whatever he can to get to you. There should be boundaries of course about introducing your children to new partners, but that is something you decide on or you decide together, it is not something you allow someone else to decide for you. His song will change when he meets someone new, trust me.
Until you get to know someone really really well you shouldn’t be bringing them around your daughter. Go on dates while she is with dad or grandma. If you meet someone and date for a while and it gets serious and you decide to move in together or get married, then you need to discuss how that will look.
Honestly my daughter’s donor tried too tell me this I told him what I thought I said you have never saw her nor know nothing child support is court ordered but your alcohol cigarettes and dope is more important… She is my daughter and I will make all decisions and I have!!! If you have her most of the time I’d tell him it’s not his decision
I personally wouldn’t bring another man near my kids…especially at a age where they can’t talk. There’s so many stories on the news of moms having men around their kids and the men abuse them or murder them.
Take this from a man who said the same thing a judge does not care who you take your child around when you have her as long as there not on drugs or you are putting your child in danger. It also works the same way when he has your child you have no say in who he has the child around. The two of you should be acting in the child’s best interest at all times so neither one of you have the right to tell the other who you can have your child around or how the other should raise the child.
it’s ur call, he has no say and if he becomes irrational / threatening then document everything if something does happen
You’re entitled to not be miserable for the rest of your life because he wants to be. Unless he wants to have supervised visitation for 17 years because he wants to make threats, he needs to get a hold of himself. Buy a gun, install cameras and begin dating when you’re ready
Go to friend of court and get custody established is basically the only option
As a mother no one I date will be around my daughter unless we’re going to get married HOWEVER your ex has no right to try to control you like that.
If my husband and I were to divorce I would not bring another man around my children. You hear all those horror stories and I rather not take a chance. I’d figure out ways to satisfy my needs without risking my children.
Only bring a man around if you see a future with them. No sense in hurting a child by getting them attached to someone and then they are gone. Find a baby sitter if you want to date.
Chill a little bit. Even you should be concern of not bringing nobody in the life of your kid with out really knowing that person. So chill down, and see what happens.
Keep a documented account of every conversation, text, etc. Keep it for your records. However you shouldn’t even bother introducing your daughter to somebody unless you’ve been dating for a solid six months and even then it shouldn’t be just all the sudden some guy is there and he’s there every day. Invite him to meet you guys for lunch or to the park so that she can get to know him on a social level without the added pressure of being in her personal safe space. As far as it goes for your ex boyfriend he’s just trying to control you by any means necessary. Dont let that happen. He has nothing to do with it unless you let him.
I mean u should be careful about that anyway. However, I have learned over the years that you just cannot do that.
Whichever parent has the child is responsible for the well being of said child/ren no matter who is around at all times.
So unless someone is treating child poorly then that has no basis other than trying to control the other parents life. Which is just not a thing.
I hear it said a lot from women too. “ I’m not allowing him to have my child around his new gf” etc…
It’s wrong.
Stop it.
I think hes saying that to be safe not to be dictating. At some point another man, or in reverse another women, will be introduced to your child. And both of you will have your opinions but its better to be safe, than sorry. You could get a sitter for a couple hours to go out on a date with said person. But introducing your child should wait until it’s more serious.
I mean hes right in a way, would you allow a strange man your daughter doesnt know around her? I have a 2yo w an ex and we have the same rule when it comes to dating new people. They arent allowed around the baby unless its serious, 6 months to a year basically. It’s not wrong
It is only up to you. You’re ex cannot control what you do when you have your child. Just like you cannot when he has child. For some people it is hard to let go of control, but legally he has no say.
Keep your child separate from any relationships…it’s not impossible to do or at least until you find that other significant other.
You don’t want to cause confusion for your child either.
Make it about her, not you.