My ex left me for another woman and now wants half custody: Advice?

ALWAYS get a lawyer when it comes to your kids

And document everything no matter how minimal it seems at the time. Day, time, incident etc.

What ever you decide with these kids being put threw the abuse keep sole custody refurlse to let that go your order will not be changed for sole custody yes he may recieve visitation rights but dont give up sole custody ever them babies depend on you

You should have a lawyer, always. The court is always going to want to foster a relationship with both parents. They could require parenting classes, and supervises visits for a while. But there is little chance of them not doing something to try to start that relationship again. This is why children will be granted a lawyer of their own. And that’s not a bad idea depending on their age. Courts want to know what the children think, but usually from an unbiased source

Get a calendar and write everything down! Get colored tabs to mark custody, visitation and fights so you can easily access it in court or tell your lawyer

Courts will usually continue with CPS outcome. Not always, but usually.

How were you awarded full custody of you don’t mind me asking? Going through a pretty nasty divorce myself… any pointers?

Just bring CPS paperwork. Get it notarized…file to be a party of the case and file rule to show cause

Take all your documents from police reports to cps and anything in between.

I’m going through this same thing but I don’t feel he should have them around her

Definitely get a lawyer. If he has a lawyer you will be at a disadvantage with legal process and strategy.

ALWAYS lawyer tf up. And make sure it’s a damn good one too. They’re expensive but worth it. Esp if its a dangerous situation for the kids.

Get a lawyer…showing up under represented can almost guarantee a win for him. Please make sure you bring all copies of whatever you can gather to prove you’ve been their sole provider. Also get all documentation from the abuse and statements from the kids teachers if they will corroborate. While you are at it ask for supervised visitation only for the children’s well being. Its your job to protect those children from harm and he sounds dangerous. When you explain this is what has to happen do it in a loving way. Let him know you want them to have their father but they also deserve to feel safe and protected. Recommend he get counseling. If he is so passionate about wanting to be a dad to them he will do it. The court can also order this. It’s going to cost a lot. Apply for legal aide if you cannot afford an attorney. Journal everything. Call the local police department and see if there have been any incident reports involving him at his address. If the police have been called this too will work in your favor. Gather every tidbit you can. Don’t talk to the kids about any of this. I mean absolutely none of it. For their health and to make visitation easier try to point out the positive things about their dad. It’s hard but this can wreck their entire childhood.

Definitely get a lawyer. Period. I think you’ll retain sole custody, but don’t take the risk. Get a lawyer.

Guardian ad lidem (idk spelling). Ya’ll are miscommunicating. Those babies need a bigger voice in this situation.

Tell him and write a statement to the judge that he can have time with kids when he is single, has a a place for him and kids to sleep that is clean and money to pay for it and other things he’s not paying for. Do not agree to sign anything.

He does realize that even if he gets joint custody and makes more money than you, he can still be required to pay child support, right!?

It sounds like he is threatening joint custody because he doesn’t want to pay child support. If you can handle finances without his help you can talk to your caseworker for child support or contact the child support place about a good cause claim. That’s what I did for my son. You fill out paperwork with the proof that he is unfit, violent, or dangerous and they can set up a court hearing to terminate the child support. It sounds like he doesn’t actually care about custody, he just cares about getting out of child support.

Get a family law lawyer!
Buy a diary/logbook and write down everything regarding kids. Any visits with him, any concerns, abuse. Any time he was supposed to take them but didn’t. It will be easier to show the court what happened when you have clear logs.
Also when you do anything concerning kids. Doctors visits, buying clothes etc.

Get all the reports regarding CPS and police involvement. Document everything.

And forget about the reason of divorce, that doesn’t matter in custody matters. DO document the initial abandonment though.

Did y’all go to court , other than child support court for custody?

Do the children have a good guardian at litum? That’s who the judge usually listens to the most

If there’s been PROOF of abuse, he will not get any kind of custody.

Ask the court to assign a CASA worker for each child.

I would always get a lawyer, if he is in fact abusing the children then I would fight like hell to keep full custody so definitely get a lawyer.

Why did you put paternity test in your hashtag though? They are his kids right?

Your relationship with your ex should not affect their relationship with their dad

No, he is doing this to avoid paying child support. This is a tactic. He doesn’t care about the children. Get the children to give statements about the abuse and take pics…You are going to need those pics. Call social services and get them to investigate ahead of your court date.

April Valot if your going thru this I would haha to you as well going thru difficult times. Hope nothing but bad krama to you :sunglasses:

The children still have a right to see the dad

I have no advice since this is out of my area. But what I do have is a praying heart!!!

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I don’t know about the laws in your country but PLEASE GET A LAWYER
Your kids are too important
Sending love :two_hearts:

Get a lawyer. There are free ones through social services

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Lawyer up! Have all of the documents! Maybe they will give him supervised visitation.

Get a lawyer. Fight for ur kids n their safety!!! Keep ur head up ur doing wats right for the children!!

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He’s not getting shit!!! Cops and COS has been called and involved?? Keep dreaming buddy!!
Lawyer…For sure!!

Please get a lawyer. Courts are tricky. Play on words.

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Fight for your babies. Stand up for yourself and protect them like you have been. No judge in his right mind would let him near your kids.:heart::pray:t2:

Absolutely hire a lawyer. Not having a lawyer can turn on you

Get a lawyer. Document everything@

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YES, YES to lawyer, and good luck🙏🏻

Joint custody means no child support.

Definitely get a lawyer! Best of luck to you!

Yes get a lawyer. Especially if he’s being abusive to the children

Get an attorney. Take all the Dhs paper, police reports everything you have.

Always have an attorney!!! Always!

Be sure you have all interaction documentation…everything in writing. :four_leaf_clover:

Definitely need a lawyer!

You need a good family lawyer, and get sole custody.

Yes, get a lawyer. Better safe than sorry.

Sounds like he wants the kids minimum enough time to not have to pay child support

Yup get lawyer… I’m in the exact same situation.

Mos def get a lawyer!! It will be helpful in the long run!

This is all great advice and through it all stand your ground!

I’d get a lawyer yes. I don’t see him getting half right now.

Best advice is talk to a lawyer for thos advice.

Get a lawyer. He can be court ordered to pay the lawyer fees. Do not go to court without one.

Yes u need a lawyer!! N he needs 2 piss off. But a good atty is always worth the money.

Get the absolute best lawyer that you can!

Absolutely lawyer up if OCY was involved.

I dont think it will hold up if you have all that on him. But i agree, get a lawyer

Get a lawyer and if there are police reports get them to strengthen your argument.

Guardian ad Litem and needs to be appointed by the court

Get a lawyer. You won’t regret it.

I would take a lawyer.

Sounds to me like your still angry that he left…if he’s truly unfit then you won’t need a lawyer.

So- did the CPS case amount to anything? Was abuse found? I feel like just because he’s with another woman doesn’t mean he can’t see his kiddos and does deserve half custody unless there’s reasons he shouldn’t? I dunno- I need more info to offer true advice.

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You need a lawyer. Do not hesitate.

Absolutely get a lawyer.

Sounds like a mess, hire a lawyer…

Get a good lawyer immediately. Start documenting everything.

Lawyer, and get the kids in therapy

Get a CFI, child family Investigator. That’s what I’m doing.

Hire a lawyer immediately!
Do Not go to court without one.

Get a lawyer. He doesn’t deserve the dirt off your feet never mind half anything. :woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3:

The only things the judge will take into consideration is whether the kids are safe or not. Why and how you divorced is irrelevant. So bring all documents with you, maybe ask cps for paperwork to bring with you. Also lawyer up. Good luck.

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Supervised visitation at a family center.

Get a lawyer… You will need one… Do it quickly

Get a guardian ad litem if you can’t get a lawyer.

If you can afford a lawyer I would get one

Always go Woth an attorney or regrets will suck

Do not buckle you can go alone you already have custody. Only state its in the best interest of your children to stay with you. Dont be emotional they dont listen to that. Be strong and confident in why you feel they are better. And ask for supervise visits if you have proof of abuse. Dates times pictures are very helpful. Document visits…dont let him think he can control things.

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If police AND cps were involved, you should have the paper work. Keep it and bring it with you. I’m not understanding why he thinks he could keep the kids within joint custody… without supervision if he’s abusing them and only doing this out of anger. It shouldn’t be hard to fight him on this. They may say supervised visitation, so that’s something you’ll have to prepare for. Him leaving you for another women, won’t matter to the judge. They don’t care about the reasoning unless it was violent or serious. But certainly, do not keep the kids from him because he left you for another girl. At least try doing it supervised or ask the kids if they even want to, if he abuses them. This sounds like both of you are acting out of anger…y’all should be able to do it civil like, without court date after court date. If he gets joint custody, his CS (I think) will lower the cost you get. So you won’t get what you get now.

If he abuses anyone, including you or the kids or his girlfriend or whoever, that should be enough for the judge to determine what to do next.

Good luck!

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Get a lawyer. Period. Family court is a tricky environment. No matter how much you might think you totally have this, get an attorney.

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If you can’t get a lawyer ask a women’s center if they have legal advocates for this in your area. Women’s center or domestic abuse centers have them or can direct you

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Stick to your ideas , have a lawyer

Get a lawyer. Without one things will get twisted

Coming from experience on the “mom side” AND the “dads side”, Quit talking to him and get a lawyer ASAP. Let him know you will be retaining a lawyer. Have everything go through your lawyer and if y’all do “speak” keep it in text message format, especially if it comes time for proof for court. Also, ANY AND EVERYTHING can possibly be used against you in court so don’t put anything in text message that you wouldn’t want a judge to see/hear about.

I always recommend getting a lawyer for something like this. I’ve been through this but it was over 30 years ago back then they always gave the kids to the mother. Things have changed now so I can’t give you any advice except to get you a lawyer to protect your children.

All these people saying he deserves the kids half the time…did you all not read the part about the abuse? If he is abusing the kids and has them in a hostile environment then no he definitely does not deserve half time, supervised is what he really needs.

Definitely would get a lawyer. The abuse etc isn’t ok. I hate when people try to push that aside. It doesn’t matter if it towards you or the kids being exposed to an abusive person is emotionally damaging. I’d be asking for supervised visita so the kids and are safe but cna still see thier biological father

I absolutely would not go in there without a lawyer… I would be requesting that he doesn’t have your children around other women. You will have to follow the same rules about boyfriends… but many judges with agree to that.

If they give him anything ask for supervised visits first that way maybe yall can ease into more visitation and you can keep your babies safe :sparkling_heart:

You definitely need a lawyer, and he pretty much could get joint custody, just depends on how bad what you’re saying happened, and all that cps stuff…

I highly recommend you lawyer up. Also if he is requesting that he gets half time which would be you and him have equal days he no longer has to pay child support and will get to claim them on taxes every other year. That may be his angle here.

Get a lawyer, document EVERYTHING, if you have that, bring it with you. Get all documents from the cps investigation, child support hearings. You can NEVER have enough documentation.

If there are cps cases and police reports bring all documentation depending on age of kids they may ask the kids how they feel. You may want to lawyer up but I think if you have all cps and police records regarding the abuse and any documentation from Schools if they have anything noted then you may not need a lawyer. Just go prepared with evidence.

Probably the only reason he wants shared custody is so he can get out of paying as much child support. Get a lawyer , have all paperwork and do not give up sole custody.

Always get a lawyer.

Protect them by moving on. If u have sole custody keep it that way and leave. Many many spouse often do cause harm . He can see his children on zoom.

Yes get you a legal lawyer if he did his children like that before he still will.All he wanting is to get out of paying child support dont go for it.He not doing it because he wants the children its because if he has them half time he dont have to pay