Sis you need to dig a grave.
ALWAYS get a lawyer. Legal services can help in many cases!! It’s far cheaper than having to go back and unravel a mess!!! Plus, your children do not need to get drug through an abusive relationship. Good luck to you and your children!
If there’s a record with CPS that the children endured & witnessed abuse during the time they spent with their father I doubt they would give him custody. They will probably also interview the children before anything
Im not sure where you are at but if you got sole and physical custody you can get a free lawyer and don’t agree to anything with him not even in court so that way you will remain the sole parent and he will only get visitations. He only wants joint cause he doesn’t want to pay you for child support don’t fall for it!
FYI, he can have 50% custody of his kids. If cps is involved and he’s unfit then argue that point. Unless they’re in danger …courts are inclined to give 50% custody. Make sure you have a job that covers all the basics and you can survive without support bc it isn’t income.
Save all the evidence, record the kids when they are being dropped off if there is any negative behavior, texts etc. I know women who have whole binders and the judge awarded mom 100%.
Judges are used to this scenario and they know what they are looking for and how to deal with it.
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Right down daily when he calls and most importantly when he doesn’t call or see them ,as long as you have a daily log with dates and times its considered a legal document in the courts eye in custody . Until the children are old enough to decide for themselves or atleast be able to call 911 when in his care ,keep the supervised visitation through CPS and then after positive ,consistent, positive environment etc… then reevaluate . Put aside the marital problems between yall and the main questions are …
Is the children safe in his care
Is he responsible with them
Is he violent with them or in front of them
Can he provide food ,shelter,necessities for them
Will his actions have a negative or positive impact on them
Is he trustworthy
This is about him as a father not as a husband or ex-husband.
You have to take your personal feelings out of the equation .
Kids need their daddies ,if he is a good one 
A lot of assumptions going on here…the outcome of cps involvement is not said, which leads one to believe it was unfounded. Were you the one who called The?
The way you say he left u for someone else…that doesn’t matter in the least. Unless there is proven abuse issues, he will end up with 50% custody. The children are, after all, 50% his. If cps has proven documentation of abuse, a judge will grant supervised visitation for a period of time, then add visitation in a bit at a time until it is 50/50. Unless of course you have have thousands of dollars for a top notch lawyer. Be sure to examine your own motives as well. Sometimes as mothers we take a small thing and make it into something more? Not saying you aren’t just trying to protect your kids, but your wording suggests it may be more you trying to punish him.
If he has gotten his life together they will give it to him. If he is still exhibiting the same behavior that was investigating before, then he won’t get it. He can fight for it all he wants but they won’t give him shit if he can’t prove that he would provide a stable safe home for them.
Regardless of him cheating he is still their father and deserves half custody don’t burden the relationship failures on him not being a father
Always take a lawyer…
Proof proof lawyer and more proof. Did I mention proof? Fight like hell. Its gonna be tough but you can get through it. Stay strong for your babies.
I am going through something similar but with 1 child. I was with my ex husband for 7 years and married since may 2019. He just up and left me and his son this past august. He doesn’t help at all with him. He changed his phone number. He hasn’t seen him (even tho he lives not even 5 mins away)
I want full custody of my son so bad because I’m tired of his threats but I know when you are married it’s harder to get full custody 
my son is 16 months almost and I went back to work shortly after he left me, some “men” are just rude and disrespectful pigs. I hate you are going through this, keep your head up!
the second you said abuse, all bets are off. He disqualified himself from custody or having a relationship with the kids. I sure as hell wouldn’t be willing to work out anything with him at that point. I imagine if you got the kids to share that information with the court, it’d be over
You absolutely need an attorney!
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Do not give him anything. You got sole custody. Tell him no
Get a lawyer.
No matter what.
Get a lawyer.
I thought I didn’t need one. He had one.
Nightmare.
Get a lawyer.
Yeah I know a man who tried that. The kid is still with the mother.
Definitely get a lawyer and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!
Your best bet would be to get a lawyer.
He deserves nothing other than a good belting
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Yes…Your babies come 1st …the father seems too toxic…Lawyer Up n all the best to you n your babies 
I’ve been with mine 9 years and have 6 kids, 6 under 6!! And just found out he cheated on me 
and this girl knew about me 
She kept asking when he was leaving me for her 
Don’t be an idiot no custody an supervised visits only
If CPS has been involved and the children are speaking of abuse in his household, he does not deserve ANY custody. I’m sure your lawyer will have no problem making sure he doesn’t. Those reports will be shown in court and I don’t see him having much of a fighting chance. Get one ASAP.
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I didn’t read all that but the answer is give him his custody don’t use the kids they will suffer in the long run co parent the best you can of he gets them he gets them If he chooses not to that’s him
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Good Luck to him. Judges aren’t quick to award 50/50 when one parent has already been given sole. Especially if it’s the same court, ESPECIALLY if you get the same judge. I think you’ve really kind of let him “show his ass” to the judge on this. Get an attorney, but do NOT mention the “other woman” or it could be used to show that you’re just bitter about the other woman. Because, factually, this isn’t about that other woman at all and the court won’t care, unless you can show proof that she physically abused the child.
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Women need to understand they didn’t. Other their children alone. If it’s safe there is no excuse why another parent should see their kid.
If what you have explained about him has already happened, I highly doubt the judge would allow it. Check out your state laws or a get a free consultation with a family lawyer. Good luck! Hopefully the kids are able to have both parents in their lives as long they are safe, healthy and loved❤️
Best thing I did was get my kids a lawyer. I had mine, he had his, and the kids had theirs. No more BS from the mediators feelings and the last time we were in court.
Get a lawyer and let him know.about.the abuse and DCFS so it can be used on ur.defense.and if the kids are older.than 12 judge can also.ask.them.if.they wanna be with him or not
Per my attorney, when I was granted full custody, my ex wouldn’t be able to take me back for more rights unless I did something to make them think I wasn’t capable of full custody
He’s wanting out of child support. Joint physical custody is what he’s going to ask for. Write everything down. Any interactions anything the kids tell you. Take it to court. If he’s already been abusive and the kids say so CPS has been involved I don’t see it happening. Good luck. Document everything.
If its an abusive environment, I would request “supervised visits” for him… those are usually done at a specific state facility or an agreed upon location. If those visits go well, then eventually unsupervised visits can be arranged too.
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Get a lawyer girl, he wants a cheaper way out of paying child support which is why he’s doing this, and the abuse is a heeelllll to the muthafuckin no, document every little thing, take pictures of abuse!!! Prayers for you and your kids and hopefully everything goes smoothly for you all:heart:
stay strong mama you got this!!!
Also- I’ve had better results using a strong defense attorney more so than a family law attorney 
Has he had any visits, calls etc in the last 3 years??? Also depending on your state will help people give you clearer advise it is different from state to state also the ages of the children factors in in some states depending on what the kids want.
My personal experience was my kids were 8 and 13 I have full everything as well as dvro after a year, they started slow with calls, then got supervised visits, then moved to unsupervised and eventually over nights. My kids had phones to contact me or police at all times and were allowed to cancel or come home to me at anytime during the visits. It was all done with therapist enrollment also.
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The CPS l learned dropped the ball. The courts don’t care about CPS. My daughter was 11 months old she was abused on the fathers time cause there was no admission of guilt and the previous judge died. A new judge came in and said CPS words don’t matter. Be careful CPS is another whole animal and let’s you down in custody courts for real
Bring out all the dirt that this isn’t a good situation. How old are the kids? They can make decisions at a certain age! Also unfortunately if he seeks 50/50 all states are going that way unless something is a major issue. Most fathers that fight get that. 50/50 l have 50/50 and trying to change that due to a change of circumstance. Seeking modification on the grounds he doesn’t work with me
I stopped reading at abuse. Why would u even want him around your children if he’s abusive in any way shape or form?! Shouldn’t even be a question!!
To those that are FOR the father… must be nice to not witness DV…
Please get a lawyer momma, you’re doing amazing, but he’s gonna come at you with vengeance.
Yes get a lawyer ! You’ll probably end up keeping custody, you could go for supervised visitation if you don’t trust him. You could also argue that he’s unfit but potentially harm your children if they can’t see their father. But if the kids don’t wana go then they shouldn’t have to 
good luck . Idk how the court systems are where you’re at but I went through this with my sons dad and I have sole custody, with the help of my family lawyer.
If the kids are older then 12 they can come to court and speak on their behalves
My ex wants half custody so he doesnt have to pay child support. Courts already granted him every other weekend and tuesdays knowing that hes a total drunk and always in the bag. And theres absolutey nothing i can do about it. Have a lawyer. The bests interests arent for the child, it goes by the best interests of the judge or my kids wouldnt be aloud there period. The anount of neglect i know goes on and in basically forced the live with it.
Yes need a lawyer for sure. Start putting together a packet of evidence printing texts writing journals of what your children have said. Don’t put them in the middle though. Preparation on your part leads to a much better outcome
Ok if in doubt postpone. Ask for. Deferment to obtain representation. You need to know what type of hearing. Status conference? Orders hearing? Yes… lawyer up.
supervised visits then work his way to half time. just cause he put u threw hell doesn mean he cant see his kids. yes i read the abuse part. reason i said the supervised visits
Sounds like he wants to stop paying child support. If his home is unfit, stop taking your kids there.
Surely your kids have a GAL… if what you allege is true? I believe supervised visits are warranted.
He’s an ass! Fight for your kids.! He doesn’t matter !
Get a lawyer! Have supervised visitations
Po lil tink tink… the court has spoken, let him go through legal channels on his own dime, just to lose based on what you’ve said.
Hire an attorney… I just paid mine again🙄 but worth every penny
Lawyer up!! I worked in family law…always protect yourself.
Your children will do better w shared custody. Sucks but true
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Get an attorney…your ex is a scumbag
Get a lawyer. Document everything.
Don’t do it…keep full custody don’t give that power away …let him see the kids on your terms
Get a lawyer 100% he is walking in with one
Always have a lawyer
Get a lawyer … just because he’s there fatter doesn’t mean he deserves them in his home especially if there is abuse involved …
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You definitely need a lawyer cause it’s gonna get hectic
Yes, get an attorney
Gather the dirt and present it. Show what you’ve done and how you’ve handled it alone. Fuck him
Why are you giving these idiot’s a platform on social media? Obviously they have no concept of reasonable judgment, & then they want answers from MORE idiot’s on Facebook… misery loves company.
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Get a lawyer!! Dumb question!
This thread is crap.
Lawyer yes definitely
document document document EVERYTHING!!!good luck👍
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I have no advice.
I’m just sorry you’re dealing with this 
Please stay strong for yourself and the babies. Your family is in my thoughts💗
Lawyer. ALWAYS have a lawyer.
Keep your dirty laundry off of fb🤦♀️
Definitely need a lawyer
Lyndsay Ressler!! She is amazing
Lawyer up yesterday!
L-A-W-Y-E-R
Up.
No doubt.
Lawyer- absolutely yes
Pray, ask God to grant you a fast, read and study God’s Word have faith and confidence in God
How old are you kids? I believe when they turn 12 they can make the decision for themselves. At least in CA.
Yes lawyer up!! #1. #2 document everything!! #3 don’t forget your kids are kids and shouldn’t be pulled into adult drama keep it as friendly as possible even if he isn’t… #4 There’s no sides keep it as neutral as you can for the kids
Give him half custody.
Yeah it sucks having a break up. A lot of things go ugly and are unfair.
But its not about you its about the kids.
Get court order so you guys have rules in place.
But let him have half custody because like it or not, whoevers been there or not, THEY ARE HIS KIDS TO!
Get a lawyer especially since there is abuse and cps has been involved! Gather all your proof and information and take it straight to attorney! I called a very well known attorney in my area and was in the same day with all my paper work and by the time I got there he already did all his investigating and told me he will reach out to attorney and see if he will drop it because he didn’t stand a chance and would like a bigger low life in a courtroom!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex left me for another woman and now wants half custody: Advice?
Judges like to see both parents involved and don’t like seeing one parents try to stop the other. My advice would be to appear as cooperative as possible, by agreeing to visits but request supervised visits with a willingness to give non supervised time after he completes anger management classes, a parenting class and a drug and alcohol evaluation. I haven’t seen very many people jump through the hoops that weren’t actually serious about being a good parent. The parents seeking time out of pettiness, tend to give up.
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If you can afford it, get a lawyer. If he requested the court, you can also try to have him cover court and lawyer costs, but this may vary depending on where you live/where court takes places. Make sure to get records from the police and CPS, but a lawyer should be able to do that if you get one. They may also have the children talk to a mediator.
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Get a lawyer and fight. I was just successful in having my sons sperm donors rights revoked completely due to his abusive behavior.
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Get a lawyer and if there is abuse then no way. Your first job as a mother is to protect your children
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I agree. Get a lawyer. It’ll be worth it. Especially when you know his house is unfit. Make sure you have your evidence to back it up.
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Get a lawyer! Gather all evidence (CPS/ police reports). Document all encounters with him and what kids tell you. Some advise: do not talk trash about your x around your kids, ever! Good luck!
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You always need a lawyer. Never ever go to custody court without a lawyer. Not only will they be better at it than you, but it shows the judge that you’re serious. They also will know the judge.
If you honestly believe there has been abuse involved then document everything and collect all the evidence you can find. The judge is looking to for the interests of the child so always think in those terms. He abandoned his children? Not good. He paid child support? Good. He is abusing people in front of them? Not good. Proof the not good outweighs the good.
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The fact that he left for another woman has nothing to do with the custody issue. But since you’ve already got sole custody they must have already determined it an unsafe situation for the kids and that’s really hard for someone to come back from to prove they’re now fit to be a parent. It’s very unlikely unless they can prove a huge positive change in their lifestyle.
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I’m a family law paralegal. Yes, you need a lawyer so they can request records and reports from CPS (a lot of times there are internal reports that CPS does not provide unless it is reviewed in court), you need to journal everything that happens or has happened regarding the kids in his care with dates and times to show how often this is happening when they are in his care (your lawyer will thank you), and to obtain other necessary evidence to fight for you. He should not get joint custody as long as you fight it and provide your proof. Those CPS records have a lot of weight in family court. Get an attorney and fight him on this.
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He is probably only trying for more custody in order to pay less child support. Get a lawyer, the best one you can possibly afford.
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You NEED a lawyer. Save all emails. All texts. Take pictures. Document. Save it all in a file and google drive and maybe even a backup flash drive. CPS report the abuse.
Do not ignore his requests for contact.
I’ve been in an awful custody battle for 5 years involving abuse and neglect reports. He fights dirty. I tried to work with him and agree 50-50 and it was bad bad for these kids. They come back attention starved, afraid to be locked in their rooms, haven’t bathed or brushed their teeth all week, bruises they won’t explain, obessed with sex and sexuality, ect.
Family court still wont believe me. Don’t do what I did so that you can be agreeable and get it all over with faster. Get an attorney and fight for these babies. I learned this too late.
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Get a lawyer and also is you can get a children’s lawyer so that person can speak in their behave
Document, document, document. Literally bring every single item you have just in case it’s needed. All police reports. All witness statements etc. Lawyer is beneficial
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I read the first sentence and thought you were being petty about him leaving you for another woman. That part really doesn’t matter at all. But if a mfer abused my child he would never see her again. Reach out to legal services and get a lawyer.
It is so sad when children are caught in the middle of parents bad behavior. I say you should fight for what is best for your children. No amount of abuse or neglect is justified. Best of luck to you all
I would get a lawyer to help get all the data In order, but just because he wants that time, he won’t necessarily be given extra time. My ex took me to court for the same thing, similar story minus the time together and police involvement, and he tried portraying me as a bad mom. But because of how inconsistent he was, he wasn’t going to get more additional time unless I agreed to it