So the days you do work you don’t have the kids. And I’m sure you don’t work 24 hours every single time you work so you have me time when you’re off of work…I think the father needs some me time too if he has the kids more than you do.
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Do you not miss your kids when you don’t have them? I would not be able to go a day without seeing my kids. I can’t even address the rest because you get where I’m going with this.
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As a mom of 3, who just lost their oldest 2 months ago, please spend all the time with your children as you can!! Make memories!! Take lots of pictures!! Take your kids on “dates” !! Please, please cherish them and every moment you get with them. Heaven forbid you lose one of your children and have to deal with not only grief, but regret too. I’d give anything to have more time with my son.
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Sorry not sorry that’s not how mom life goes that’s equal opportunity he’s offering an your declining much needed bonding time with your children I see why dad’s upset.
When u have kids you work around them it’s not a YOU world.
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Looks like you’ll have to include me time on the days you work. Lol how bad do you want/need it. Your days off belong to your babies.
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Well it sounds to me like dad doesn’t have any time to himself either being he’s the custodial parent and has them the majority of the time. All that time you’re working, your kids are with him. So if working 2 jobs you would probably have one maybe two days off, which are being spent with your kids. THAT is his time off and you’re wanting to cut into what little time he has away from the kids for a break so you can have a break?!? I feel like you’re asking too much and being a mother is about making sacrifices.
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You’re ex is wrong and is trying to guilt trip you and control you. He has no say in what you do in your free time or that you get free time. If he wants some free time he can call a babysitter and that is also what you should do as well. Moms and dads a like need a break sometimes. But we can’t be using the other parent to get this free time though. I suggest getting a babysitter and as long as the children are safe then its none of his business.
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You definitely have enough time for “me time” I have my kids 24’7 and I still have enough time for “me time” when they go to sleep. Get a grip and spend time with your kids. The world doesn’t revolve around you once you have kids.
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Divorce is something that affects the children WAY MORE than the parents. When parents separate it’s hard on us but nothing like a whole new world of adjustments for our children!!
It’s not the time to think about what YOU need. It’s time to really think about what your boys need. You can have all the “me time” when they’re gone at dads and when they grow up. Right now, let them see you. They don’t see you enough anyway clearly, as their mother. He has the children the majority of the time so it does seem quite selfish to want “off”, when it’s your time with them.
I get it’s hard being a mom, but going from full time mom to barely part time will affect your children greatly if you don’t start valuing the time you DO get. 
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Your kids come first wth
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I have to agree with him
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I think you sound selfish. Your children are living with HIM and you are barely seeing them as it is and you would rather “have time to yourself” than keeping them all night? Do you not realize how it affects them? Maybe you shouldn’t of had kids if you are more worried about time to yourself. Yes, we all need a break but they don’t live with you 24/7. I’m a mother of 4 and I’m pregnant with my 5th and I never get “time to myself”.
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The comments have spoken.
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Everyone is going to have their own opinion. Only you know the relationship you have with your children. My son drives me crazy, but I rather spend quality time with him than have me-time. That also can lead to burn out really quickly, especially working more than 1 job. At the end of the day, your kids should always come first.
I mean if they’re only coming over on your days off, yes. Some moms have their kids full time and work 2 jobs. You can have your me time when they’re grown and can take care of themselves. I could never.
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I can’t even wrap my head around this. I’m divorced with 4 kids and have them 90% of the time. It sounds to me like you get enough “me time”.
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Becoming a mom means making sacrifices, if you weren’t ready for that commitment you shouldn’t become a mom.
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What gets me is that if this was the other way round and the dad was saying this he would be getting slated! “Me time” sorry but u should have thought about “me time” before having kids! All parents deseave a breather and a break but I think the dad in this situation should be having his “me time”. Your time off should be having the time to bond and see your children, not organising dates with other men 
bloody priorities are so wrong!
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You are selfish. You barely get your kids as is. Until you are DIVORCED and have your crap together, you have no business in dating. Wtf.
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Its your time with the kids if you want to date then pay for a babysitter or ask a family member or friend to have them. Dad needs his me time to
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You deserve time to yourself as well!!! Hes getting it when you have them!!! Yes its fine to start alternating nights!!! Pffff people saying your selfish smh gtfoh!!! MOMS MATTER TOO
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They Don’t call this Mama’s Uncut for nothing 
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Your kids are more important then a " date night" geeez!!
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When does your ex get me time if he has them most nights? 
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So your kids are with you how many nights a week? Does your ex get time alone? I personally don’t think you’re selfish for wanting time alone. As women were expected to put ourselves last. He’s expecting you to relieve him of responsibility but he doesn’t feel he owes you the same. I think the 2 of you need to sit down & set a schedule in which you both can spend as much time with your boys but also get 1 day alone a week.
Have you just tried doing date nights on your work nights? Really not much time for a social life when you’re raising kids. Especially when you don’t have them full time. Not saying it isn’t natural to want some me time but it may be hard to achieve without a negative impact on your Children
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I am so sorry to offend you all but why do you think every single mother has to be the perfect mom who spends all her time with her kids? I love being a stay at home mom to my two amazing babies but it is not for everyone, and I know some ass will say “well then why’d she have kids” 
because she did damn. Y’all don’t know everything maybe her husband was an ass and she just wants to meet someone nice, shit idk but y’all don’t have to shit down her throat. Guys literally just leave their kids and wives everyday for WOMEN, she not abandoning her children she’s taking her time. Just don’t comment if you’re going to be rude, just like why?
look at all these comments that clearly are not from single moms who understand the value of me time.
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They’re already living with dad , what more “me time” do you want? How many nights are they spending over? Probably 1 or 2? You got your priorities fucked up.
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Didn’t you say they were your children? Yes? Then they are your responsibility. Yes you sound selfish. Of course everyone deserves a break here and there or a night out on the town with friends. But if they are already living with the dad, what more of a break do you need?
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He’s 100% correct. Your kids are more important than anything else. I couldn’t stand only seeing my son on my day off, then to request to see him less? Selfish move. You have tons of “me time” compared to other mothers. What’s your priority? If it isn’t your kids, then you’re dead wrong.
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I want mine every minute they are not here ! I couldn’t imagine trading in me time for time with them… always pick them!!
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Yeah, I don’t want to be the one to say it but I’ll say this:
My ex has never had anything to do with our daughter since we split up. So it’s been just me involved. My grandma would keep my daughter on the weekends while I worked and Monday through Thursday I’d go to school, but have her with me when I wasn’t in school. My grandma would keep her Friday night until Sunday evening when I got off work. I worked 12 hour shifts. The only time I had to myself was on the weekends after work. Friday nights were kinda my night. I’d work, come home and shower and go off with friends until the early hours and be at work at 7am the next day. The only reason she spent the night those evenings was because it was more convenient for me to let her stay than to pick her up late at night and drop her off early in the morning. I used my time wisely. I didn’t date for a long time (but I did talk to guys online-just never met up)
I was 19 when I became a single momma.
So she never stated her hours. She may have a job that’s over nights since why the me time. But then again a babysitter for a date night when have them isn’t bad. That’s what I would do. I’m a full time single momma and only get less than 48 hours every other weekend.
Theres a such thing as me time when you have kids? Somebody fill me in on this! And where can i buy it? 🤦
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So let me get this straight. You don’t live with your kids and only get them on your days off which is only one or two days a week. And you want to use that time off to go on dates and think about yourself? Yes, you are selfish for not putting your kids first. What about what they want? They probably want to see their mom more often but you can only think of yourself
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Sounds like your boys are lucky to live with their dad. Seriously, complaining about having your babies 2 days a week?
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But you already have so much ‘me time’… I’d give anything for a night to myself once a month!
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If they’re living with him aren’t you already getting quite a bit of time to yourself?
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I have my daughter full time. No breaks. What i call a break is going to work. Getting a day off and spending it with her is better than trying to have “me time”. We have a “we time”
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imagine if roles were reversed
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Wow can you say control
I wouldn’t say you’re horrible, but I definitely don’t think you have your priorities straight
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You sound like you’re full of sh$t. If I was the dad I’d take you to court to only allow your visitation every other weekend and that’s it. Which sounds like that’d make you happy anyway.
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I’m been a single mother twice and the ONLY thing I ever wanted was my children! They came 1st and foremost and that has never changed! Then again my boys would be with ME at all cost and not with their father! It may not be the norm now but it is MY normal… I’m not judging yes everyone needs “me time” but my time includes my children! Guess that’s why I’m 40 and single but my boys are happy and that’s what matters to me 
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Umm yeah. Sounds like u are.
Ur selfish as all get out! Being a parent it’s no longer about what u want but what is best for the kids. U get PLENTY of “me” time …freaking date after work 🤦🤦🤦 stop blowing ur kids off bcuz when they get older they r gonna see the shit u do and resent u!!
When you had kids you made the decision to put their needs, and wants before your own. My spouse has a clear record of how many days he spent with his non custodial mom growing up. They weren’t many. Kids remember who was there, and who prioritized them.
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Ef him … You deserve time to yourself as well, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
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First off have you ever heard of you play you pay??? If you don’t want your kids sign them over to the father and give up all rights. This way you can live how you want too. If this is not what you want then make yourself some free time between job’s. We all want freedom but when you become a mother your free time comes last. That is my opinion. Good luck and God bless.
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He is just jealous you’re trying to move on. Frick him girl! Go have some fun, makes us better mama’s.
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Single mom here and this “mom” pisses me off! No Youre not a bad mom for wanting a few hours to yourself, you’re a bad mom because the time you want to yourself is the only time you are with your kids. I have my kids all the time except for work and their dads get away with not doing anything for them. I couldnt imagine not having my kids all week. At one point I was working 2 jobs with having my kids. I have gotten offers for dates but I always cancel because I csnt fathom getting a sitter for my nights off work, they are at a sitter the nights I work, which is already too much time away from them.
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Imagine how you’d feel if the roles were reversed. You’d probably be calling him a deadbeat dad.
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girl just give him full custody n leave out of their life with ur “me time and new man” its pathetic u dont even have them but 2 days n u still want them away more. i dont buy that bs that u left them to him cz of ur work sched n their school etc. u left them cz u dont want them, so just do them a favor and leave for good. u dont deserve them and they deserve a person that really loves them n not think of them as a burden. ur horrible
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You sound selfish. You already don’t have your kids you only have them 2 days a week. So you want to have your me time when it’s your time with the kids that’s ridiculous. Why not after you get off work. You are a mother your kids are your priority. And why would you want to meet someone and date if you can’t already fit your kids in your schedule how are you going to fit someone else in. You sound selfish and full of it.
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Are you kidding me, you don’t know her story… some county’s absolutely make you do 50/50… Do you really think someone would choose this??? Missing her kids because she’s trying to make ends meat. Shame on you, all of you to comment hate. We are moms, we should only be in couraging.
He is just mad you’re moving on. None of his business. Take a night out, take 2!!
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You sound selfish and ridiculous. Your ex is right. Your a mom and you hardly have your kids now? So why would you ask for less? You don’t need “me” time unless you have them all the time.
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When you only have your kids a night or two a week, that IS your me time. It’s not his or their fault that you have to work 2 jobs
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Welcome to adult hood when you have kids… Your going to have to work around their schedule. Take a day off from work. But your kids will have to come first. Im sure it isnt all fun and games with him when the kids aren’t there. And even if it is… Thats his business. Even as a married woman there isnt any me time or us time. One day the kids will get older and you will have all the free time you want or need.
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I mean call off work a day so you can have me time.
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Time to yourself you should have thought of that before the kids
You are selfish kids come first
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So… you need to take care of you too. It sounds like it has been a year and a half of working 2 jobs and only getting your kids a couple nights a week. When DO you have time for yourself? You are not selfish to need some “me” time. You are not selfish to want to start meeting someone new. Nobody knows what the ex has been up to the past year and a half and he has “me” time whenever you have the kids. For all we know he has moved on and has a new girlfriend or a “new” life outside of the home. DO YOU! If he won’t cooperate with the days then get a sitter at least once a month for you to have some alone time. Don’t let the negative comments impact what you do with your life. Keep grinding, keep your chin up, some day it will feel like it was all worth it 
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So you want some me time huh? I’m sure your ex does too, so suck it up hunny buns. Y’all both have to work out what’s best for the kiddies and not date nights blah blah blah.
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I understand wanting me time, every parent does. Just don’t put a man or potential man over your children, your children will be there for you when that person isn’t. They’ll wipe up your tears and hug you on your way up. Always choose them.
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I think a lot of people are forgetting that the nights when you have the kids are your ex’s “night off/night to yourself” so he’s getting them and you’re not. You’re not a bad mom for wanting some alone time, and the fact that your children’s time is split between their parents gives both of you the ability to have those nights, but there has to be better understanding of that on your ex’s part.
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You get “me time” when the kids are with their dad.
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Hire a baby sitter if you want a date night. It’s what your ex probably does or what you would do if you didn’t have a good co-parent. When it comes to “me time” you wouldn’t have that if you and their father still lived together. They’d be home every night when you wanted your me time.
Me time doesn’t exist really when you’re a parent. When the kids go to bed, that’s “me time”. If you want to go out, you hire a sitter.
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Sounds like you barely have them as it is and he has full custody. You are selfish, and he is right. The fact that you even left your children to begin with speaks volumes…you moved out and moved out ot their school district. Many kids have to change schools due to a move OR you could have found a place within the school district. I’m a mon of 4 and could never imagine leaving my children behind. Where I go, they go and I sure as hell wouldn’t be complaining about me time when all you seem to get is me time…
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I could never pick me time over our time. I adore my children.
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Sounds like you have lots of nights off. However if it is a weekend can’t you find a sitter? Or maybe your parents. That’s not really fair to him as if you had them full time you probably would make him feel that way as well
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You hardly have your kids now & you want even less time with them!? Yah your in the wrong & if i was your ex i would be getting full custody cuz you obv dont seem to care much about your kids. They deserve better.
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Me time? It don’t exist when you have children. Get over it. Alot of people work more than one job, juggle kids and an ex. Horrible to think but humm Susan Smith coming again? Oh I dont want my ex to have soul custody but new bf dont like my kids… Stay away from lakes
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It really depend how often you spend time with them and by the post, it doesn’t seem like it’s enough so I would say it does sound unfair to your kids.
Maybe plan your date nights when you don’t have your kids. When does their dad get a night to himself if you can’t even do a couple of nights a week?
You are a very selfish mother (if I could even call you that) next time you decide to have kids… Just don’t
Sorry not sorry
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My kids would be number one esp in a case where I’m split from their dad. What is ME time? Trust me when I tell you it goes to fast, mine are 19 & 21 and i worked and was a stay at home mom and loved being with them every chance I got. My youngest will move out soon and It will be so hard… your husband sounds like a full time dad who probably needs me time too… he raised them while you got things together, now I would make that Time up with them, no date night replaces time with your kids… you decided to have kids and they should be your number 1priority…
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Oh wow, check out all these Negative Nancy’s. Seems we thrive on breaking each other down and putting others through pain.
Mommy, don’t feel guilty for taking a day/night for yourself once in a while, you don’t want to burn yourself out and then they don’t have you at all! Maybe your best solution will be to get a sitter in. An ex doesn’t always want to see you move on, even if they have moved on. Keep your kids a top priority but don’t neglect their mommy/you in the process.
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Well, I have full custody of my kids and they go to their dads every other Friday from 6pm until that Sunday at 6pm. I also work those days but my husband and I make due and have date night and our time during those times. It’s my “me” time. As a mother to lose your kids…yikes. I think you are wrong and he is right. I also feel like this is a bait post 
who is this stupid:woman_facepalming:t2:
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So, taking your gender out of this. If you are done with the father then have a custody agreement done that has visitation and holidays set out. Not because of you or him. But because the kids need consistency. Then you create your schedule around them and that.
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It’s not wrong of you to want a night with no obligations work children cleaning etc. But your ex also deserves those days as well,which are the nights you take your children. Maybe take a personal day off of work on a day you don’t normally have the kids,or do u have a trusted friend or relative that can hang out with the kids for a few hours while you go out for a bit?
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Your whole life now is “me time” … You don’t have your kids with you anymore, and most importantly “me time” isn’t a thing when you’re a parent.
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Yeah… your definitely the walking definition of selfish right now. I feel bad for your kids honestly. 100% agree with your ex.
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You’re sacrificing the wrong thing for me time. Find time elsewhere, don’t take it from your kids 
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This whole thread just showed me EXACTLY why I don’t go to anyone, especially a Facebook site for advice because the hatred that spews from people who think they know everything is absolutely unreal. This is what’s wrong with the world today. I’m starting to think that empathy is a lost art at this point. We should be empowering others, not tearing them to pieces because their views don’t line up with ours. It’s all very sad to see 
Wanting a few hours to yourself to do whatever the heck you want is never asking too much but for some reason our society has deemed us “terrible” mothers if we don’t make every second about our kids and I’m sorry but coming from a SAHM for the last 5 years, it’s absolutely crucial to fill your cup in any way you need to because a healthy-fulfilled mom has no comparison to a burned out, stressed, resentful mom. And that DOESN’T make you a bad mom, it makes you freaking human!
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You have alot of free time as it is. You only get the kids a couple of times a walk. Dad as them full time he is the only that shoul get a break from the kids. Your want less time for ur kids.
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I love how none of y’all but a handful is being supportive. You can’t say you haven’t wanted any even for one night time to your self. Yes having kids means it isn’t about you any more and they come first. But you also need to take time for your self. Working is not time to your self. Everyone deserves time to be alone. I would lose my shit and have a break down if I don’t have even an hour to myself to just breathe and re collect my self every now and then. It’s a lot being a single parent and working two jobs on top of that. You can only do so much asking for one night or even a couple hours every now and then doesn’t make you a bad parent. You have to take care of your self so you can take care of your kids. It’s not wrong for trying to be happy. And like others have said just get a sitter for an hour or so while you have them. I can’t believe in 2021 we are still bashing moms for wanting time to ourselves. Do better! Cause y’all are starting off 2021 the wrong way.
Yes u are a bad mum Sophia Poulos
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Your not a bad mom but if it’s your time with them it’s your responsibility to hire a sitter or ask a relative to keep a eye on them.
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I would have to agree with him.
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Sounds like you get me time… they’re not there with you all the time. I would never give up my overnights with my daughter for a date night and having kids I don’t know what me time is 
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This page is for moms, and you clearly aren’t one.
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I would have to agree with him, i’m sorry. Not judging you, but you already have them not as much. He is the fulltime parent. I’d feel the same way.
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You don’t even have your kids living with you, so any time they get to stay over you should cherish. I don’t give a fuck, you sound like a selfish cunt go get your roots on the nights they are at their dad’s, I don’t know how any mother would pick dates over their kids. SMFH you shouldn’t even be a mothet
hmmm. I wouldn’t say you’re a bad mom. It does sound like you two have a custody agreement between yourselves, so on the days and nights you have them, it seems only fair that if you were to go out, you’d get a babysitter.
From my understanding of what you posted, you have them two days out of the week? I understand that you work, but I think you just have to schedule your me time and date nights around getting off work.
regardless of what I see other women saying, you still do deserve me time. but you are also a parent and not the parent with full custody atm, don’t beat yourself up for being selfish, just sit down with what you have, and work to figure out how to get those little bits of me time in when you can.
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I am a 62 year old mom of 3. I had 2 that were a year apart. I took mine EVERY where I went. Their dad was no help. I loved the time with my kids. When their dad and I divorced, not being with them on a daily basis broke my heart. They are grown now and have families of their own. I am lonely for them. So yes, you are extremely selfish and your kids know how you feel. I am sad for them. Some day you will not have them at all and will wonder why they don’t want to be around you. They will always remember who put them first. selfish doesn’t begin to describe you.
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While I think some of these comments are a bit judge mental your kids are only small for a short time and you may regret the time you gave up one day.
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Are you actually serious? when does dad get tome to himself? Hes basically raising the kids alone because of your worl schedule… if the genders were reversed, the dad would be called a deabeat…
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Sounds like you just want to chase dick instead of actually parent the little humans you created. They are only little for so long. Your ex is 100% right.
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When dads do this they would be considered “selfish”
That’s probably the nicest thing he would be called.
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