Every situation is different, but my daughters dad asked for everything in his motion…. Just to try to make it seem like the settlement agreement that was later offered more appealing.
You’re either gonna have to fight it and try for 50/50 (because unless you can find a valid reason, why would a judge award you more time than him, ya know?) or you’re gonna have to bury him. Good luck.
I did 50/50 with no child support but dad paid health insurance and daycare since he made more money with my older two. With my youngest we do for 70/30. I have primary physical and we have joint legal. I make final decision and he pays child support since I have him most of the time. I would alternate tax years if you do 50/50 if that’s his reasoning.
It’s pretty common for one or even both parties to say they want primary. Just deny it and if he’s a good dad and capable of 50/50 then offer that and that’s more than likely what the judge will order anyway.
some men are just !00% jerks. He is probably trying to push your buttons-- and he does not want you to get ANY OF HIS MONEY!!!
It means he would be her primary guardian. And that she would live with him and he would have all the final say. Don’t agree to it
Why would a father not want primary of his child
I would want full custody of my child! I got it with my girls. He got them on the weekends. Why give him half?
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Well support is not about who makes more or less in my home state of Pennsylvania they figure 1/6 of the combined income of both parents is what should be ordered to pay
Regardless of the law, I view it as who takes better care of the child long term, regardless of funding. As siblings, they may rekindle or keep a solid relation despite what you and your previous partner do or don’t do. Despite that, the law typically sides with the mother from my experience. I’ve heard enough nightmare situations I prefer not to go into detail. I don’t really care what you want, or dream… what’s best for the kid? Fight for that even if you are not what is best for them.
You can have full ousical and share legal and he can still have your daughter for visitation. Sounds to me like he wants to be spiteful since he’s asking fir child support. He prob wants to try to not pay support to you.
To many unanswered questions to be able to give any honest opinion. Could it be the child support issue? Yes. Could it be to have power over you? Of course. But could it be he really wants to be in his child’s life? Yes! How many women beg man to be in their child’s life? And you’re trying to stop him? Like I said… We clearly aren’t getting but one side of the story so there’s no real way to give any advice.
If u live in the state of California its very rare they let the father be primary… My stepdad has his 2 sons every other weekend and has 2 pay child support even though he had a lawyer and fought for 50/50… My cousin cheated on her ex husband with 1 of his army pals left him for the army pal and took their kids to whole nother state with the court backing her 100% and 1 of their kids is the ex husbands little sister that they adopted but the court didn’t want 2 separate her from her now siblings… He followed them 2 the new state and has them every weekend and every other week during the summer…
50/50 unless there’s a proven reason why it shouldn’t be 
50/50. It’s fair. Being mom or having another child doesn’t make you entitled to more. Moms are primary parents all the time. What’s so wrong with a dad wanting it? People think dads have motives when they want their kid. Like okay so what’s your motive mother? Smh.
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His attorney probably did it as standard procedure. The hope is intimidation and bluffing to have you agree to more.
Talk to a family law lawyer before u walk into anything and it all depends on what state u live in to what terms mean what so it might have helped if u atleast specified what state u live in. Also your son would not be a reason a judge would give u primary custody he would not have any bearings on anything but where I’m from the judge usually keeps primary custody with the mother unless unfitness is proven u should have mediation first so please don’t go in there shy speak up and don’t agree to anything u really don’t want too and don’t be intimidated but you are really really better off getting advice from a lawyer or even hiring one ur ex may think u won’t do so and be able to manipulate u in that fact I’m just guessing i dont know him but if he is asking for primary and child support he def seems like the type so please have all ur bases covers and go talk to that lawyer asap
I live in Maryland and I have primary PHYSCIAL custody of my oldest son meaning he resides in my home and goes to school/daycare from my home. His father and I have joint LEGAL custody which just means that any legal decisions are to be made together. (Ex. If my son were to be on life support, I am legally obligated to include his father in the decision making process.)
His father has visitation rights (every other weekend, although has not seen him in 2 years) and we had decided on no child support on the order (I felt bad at the time 
) but for the past 2 years he gives me $100 every 2 weeks (my son is turning 13 this year and he didn’t give me anything 10.5 of those 12.5 years 
).
Honestly if I were you and if your ex is civil, I would try to come to an agreement for 50/50 and set up a visitation and holiday schedule with a court appointed mediator. That means no lawyers have to be involved, no judge is making any decisions for you guys and you both civilly come to something that works for both of you. And it will still be a legal custody agreement that the judge signs off on.
Now if he’s not civil, then go ahead an file your answer and request 50/50 physcial and legal custody (if that’s what you want to do) and give an example of a schedule that would work. The schedule my ex and I did when my son was about 3 was he had him Monday & Tuesday. I had him Wednesday & Thursday. And we alternated every other Friday, Saturday and Sunday. So who’s ever weekend it was had him for 5 days straight.
He’s probably just requesting primary custody and child support simply to be a dick at this point. I’m sure his lawyer had a lot to do with it too.
Hopefully that all helps you some. Good luck! 
All Hal saying oh just do 50/50 no child support if he has 50/50 then he cover half the expenses anyway - must be fucking nice having a baby daddy u can trust to just pay half their kids expenses… I’ve gotten 70$ one time not a dime of daycare or anything n he’s filing in court saying he wants 50/50 but refuses to pay anything towards childcare … baffles me
Primary is the child lives with him and you get visitation. Meaning he gets child support.
Primary custodian would have majority custody. And they would go to school in his district, he would be the address on file for household… stuff like that
If dad has primary he makes all the final decisions you can not even take her to the doctor with out his consent school is dads choice vacations where you live ect !!! It’s a big deal I promise your life will be a living hell if he get primary
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He’s trying to get the right to use them on his taxes and decreased child support. Fuck that. Haul his ass into court and let them sort it out.
The child would reside with the “primary” parent, but y’all would both have a say in decisions. So it would be a 70/30 thing, but he wants the 70.
5050 is what the courts will go for.
Well it depends … my sons father has primary physical but we have joint legal.
Meaning my son is with my during the day and with his dad at night. It’s works for us because I work nights and he works days
This sounds more like he’s filing because he doesn’t want to have to pay child support and he can claim on taxes. I know in my state they don’t even do “joint custody”. I honestly think you have a very good case if you fight to be the primary custodian. Judges often don’t take away a child from another sibling even if it’s not a bio sibling of your ex. They take into consideration the child’s emotional well-being, and a huge emotional factor is other children in the home. I just recently went through this myself. Don’t be afraid to let your attorney know that you DONT agree and YOU want primary custody. Your attorney will draw up a “counter” parental plan and submit that to your ex. If your ex does not agree, then it will proceed to court. It is then that the judge will decide what is in the best interest of your child. Again-I highly doubt your ex would win custody unless there’s anything he could prove that makes you an unfit mother. Bottom line, don’t be afraid to “fight” it out through court if you have too!! It can be a long exhausting road, but in the end it’s 
worth it. Best of luck mama!
I did primary custody because I still live in the town they go to school in and he moved about 30 min away. He pays child support since I have them during the school year full time-but he can see the kids or take them overnights anytime he wants. We also split 50/50 in the summer. Kids need their dad as much as their mom (assuming their both loving parents). I’d never keep my kids from their dad for extended periods of time if it wasn’t necessary.
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If you have other children, living with you, it is better for them both to be. Do not agree to your exes request.
Don’t agree to this! Once given it may never be given back.
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Get a lawyer. If you agree to this it’s the first step to loosing decisions and visitation with your child.
I was told there has to be a primary when there is 50/50 custody. If the 2 of you are deadlocked, someone has to be the tiebreaker.
The daughter primary lives with him? Good luck.
Primary means your claiming on taxes you get baby bonus and you have then the most
Just so sad as to what these poor children are going through these days , explains a lot as to what happens to their mental health as they become teenagers 
Seems like these attorneys ask for the sun, moon and stars when they dont even want it or expect to get it - then you can settle on something more reasonable and in the middle. They want to start out high.
If he gets primary custody she will go to a different daycare. The daycare she goes to now don’t mean a dang thing when it comes to custody. Have you done someone that would cause him to primary custody? If he gets primary custody you will only get on her specific days and every other holiday that is decided in court which means you won’t have her every year for mothers day unless he says that can be your primary holiday since it’s Mother’s day.
Depending on the state unless she is unfit they won’t make him primary they would do joint or split custody. That’s a joke. Sounds like he wants to file her on taxes and wants money. I wouldn’t even worry he most likely won’t get it. A judge won’t take a child 40 min from her mother and sibling with no what I’ve reason on moms part
I’m going to chime in here. It’s in the best interest of the child(ren) to spend equal amount of time with both parents if both parents are capable of caring for the child(ren). Most courts favor and encourage 50/50 if possible. It’s best to come to some sort of an agreement and submit it to the courts for approval. Why? Because that shows that both parents are capable of co parenting and doing what’s in the child(rens) best interest.
The courts will not care how many children you had before or after. They will only entertain the child(ren) common to both parties of the case.
It’s a shame y’all can’t work it out to stay together it hurts the kids so much your girl should stay with you
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Although it will probably go 50/50, I judge won’t rule in your favorite just because your son will miss his sister. It should be 50/50 no child support and split any child care/benefit bill.
he probably doesn’t want to pay you child support
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No No No!! Do NOT agree tp this!! If you have joint there should be NO child support ordered.
My question I want to ask is why does it matter he makes more then you? Because there’s tons of woman who make more money then the dads and the dad still has to pay enough child support to pay rent for a one bedroom apartment in some places. 
I think it would have more to do with control than money. & i dont mean in a bad way. He could just want control so she is steady. If he makes more money than u & is more stable, he could just want to make sure the baby is in a routine that wont change often. I have primary custody of my oldest, & i fought for it for many reasons. For example, my ex moves often, so with me being primary (according to my paper work) i have full control over his schooling. As well as what primary doctors/dentists & religion. The only way my ex can over ride a decision i make is if he takes me to court & proves that it is a bad choice for our son. So it dont matter if his dad moves 2 times a year, my sons school life stays the same as well as his doctors and such.
Seems like you’re making it about money though… It’s his child too . 50/50 is fair .
Stay ready. Sounds like he just doesn’t want to pay child support.
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The best option is 50/50. Both parents should be equally involved no support either way.
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Never give physical custody or primary custody away!!
Hes the primary custodial parent
To me it should be joint custody 50/50 no c.s no parent has full custody unless the child is in SERIOUS danger or the other parent is on drugs thwn it should always be 50/50
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Sounds like he wants full custody. He wants you to pay child support too.
File a motion requesting the same thing. Let the judge decide.
Him making most medical , dental , school decisions and pretty much he has 70 and you get 30
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Sounds like he wants the control
A bunch of woman i see on here asking the questions are vindictive and cruel if the daddy wants to bw in a childs life lwt thwm if a daddy wants full custody do 50/50 a dad should have just as much to do with the child as a mother if by some reason i was to split from my husband theres no way id keep ours kids from him nor would i make him pay some crazy amount in c.s or hold our kids over his head
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Get an attorney ASAP. He asking for child support IS A COMPLETE JOKE. Even if it’s joint custody, the person who makes less can still get child support. If you are with her more than you definitely should I agree to 50/50. Talk to a lawyer because the only reason he wants to do 50/50 is so he doesn’t have to pay child support. If you have her more than 50/50 should NOT be on anything. It can still be joint custody without it being 50/50.
I can’t stress this enough, GET A LAWYER. And if you can afford one, there are places that help moms like you. Fight for the 70/30 and for HIM to pay child support.
Hes only doing it so he won’t pay child support…
Either He wants custody so he doesn’t have to pay child support, or he wants his child with him. But that means he will be responsible for medical and educational responsibility. At least in my state one parent has physical residential custody and is responsible for them. But I know more than one person that wanted custody for the sole purpose of not paying. Like dude… That costs way more. I see a lot of talk about taxes… any agreement what so ever means the child can be alternated by year on taxes no matter what. My best suggestion is find a way to get along and coparent without making the child pay for it. It’s not about the two of you, at all so your personal feelings toward each other don’t really matter. Either way make sure you have a good attorney or his attorney will win.
The reason he wants primary custody is so he doesn’t pay child support and you pay support to him.
My ex and I have 50/50 and I have placement. Per court he pays child support. It doesn’t come out to 5050… he only has her over night 4 nights a month and a few hours every other day.
He sounds money hungry
He doesn’t want to pay YOU support.
Go to court.
Go for 50/50 and request support since he makes more.
He had no problem requesting support from you.
Don’t give him primary. YOU keep primary with 50/50. Otherwise you lose any say.
Go to court.
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Primary custodian would be the address of the child would be his. When the child is of school age the primary would be the address used for the school in which the child will go. It’s the same for taxes. Whoever the child resides with more than 6 months out of the year is who can claim the child. My ex and I switch of every other week which is 50/50 custody so neither rof us has to pay child support. I am the primary my ex is the secondary. We switch off every other year on who aims him on their taxes.
He just wants the money! Agree to 50/50 and neither of you pays child support and as someone said earlier you alternate claiming her on taxes
Primarily means she will go to school in his district and he can make all the medical and school decisions but you more than likely get those options anyway. However if he gets primarily custody when she starts school she will be with him during the week and you on the weekends unless you move to his district.
I think it depends on where you live with joint custody and child support. In my case, my ex and I share joint custody of my youngest child. I am primary because of schooling, doctors, etc. BUT I have the option to do child support, even though we don’t do it and agree of providing for the child ourselves during our own time with her, but my attorney has stated that child support takes both incomes and divides it. So basically, even with joint custody, if I was making 5000 a month and he made 2500 a month, then they would make me pay the amount to make it even down the middle. Or vice versa. I would talk more with your attorney about it… also with the father, because my ex and I came to our agreement on good terms anyway with putting our child first. Coparenting means working together. Even if you go in front of the judge, let the judge know you want custody down the middle and always talk about the other parent as if the child is in the room to hear. It makes you watch your words and court will go over in your favor if you show you want what is best for your child AND keep things fair between both parents. Good luck and I wish you the best!! Its always a hard battle but keep your child in mind!
Primary custody is what he’s wanting to where you will have the child support obligation, tax returns are always every other year or unless Judge decides differently so thos who are saying it’s for that are wrong, and he will have her more time than you will. Go for 50/50 or well you’ll most likely get primary being the mother but child support will be given to whoever is the latter or based upon judges ruling. Just because your son has a different family than her does not mean she doesn’t have a right to be with he rather family. Explain to your children the situation based on age appropriate terms and then say hey buddy you will see your sister in a few days. All decisions based on school, religion, and such will still need to be discussed between you 2 as well. You will have final say as primary but you will still have joint. That’s how most states and courts work. Primary just means the child resides with you more than other party involved.
So all comes down to what the judge rules. If you want primary then have proof of a job, stable home, and transportation plus all medical needs/appointments and such are up to date and the kids have what they need at home(beds, clothing, toys, food, water, ect).
Good luck
If neither of you are unfit and both want custody it should be 50/50 with no support. Once the child starts school if you’re living in a different city from one another, whichever parent she loves primarily with should be the one who receives support. In my opinion, whichever parent chose to move away should be the one who pays support.
don’t do it he want power…
Sounds like he’s being petty. My ex did it too, but the judge didn’t care for how he went about it (taking our son and refusing to give him back until court). I was awarded custodial patent.
why are you worried about them being apart instead of you being a mother to her makes no sense
He wants total control and not to pay you a dime. Nothing more.
We do NOT know his side to the divorce, thus going 50/50 is the best choice I can see.
Being primary means the primary address is the default for school registration and gives him priority status at any future court disputes over custody. 50/50 time sharing is extremely rough on a child, especially once they’re school age. Any child therapist will agree with that and judges don’t just grant 50/50 unless that’s agreed on by the parents. Even if they grant joint custody, the time sharing is normally not 50/50. If it’s fighting and left to a judge, they will decide on the primary residence and the primary time to one parent. Get on the time share schedule that you want now. If you have an attorney and they haven’t been able to offer guidance on what you should be doing and fighting for then you’re wasting your money on a shit attorney. Don’t give up that primary title on the paperwork. Also if he’s asking for child support and to be the primary custodian are you sure he’s not asking for her to be with him full time? Because joint custody doesn’t mean 50/50, it just means you both have legal rights to get and as the non-primary you’d get visitation. He probably filed for her to be with him a majority of the time if he asked for support. You NEED a good lawyer that will explain things to you and be able to explain what they suggest and why. What’s your current schedule with him seeing her? Document absolutely everything. Even if things seem civil, pretend that he’s out to get you so you’re prepared if it gets ugly. You always wanna be in the best position you can be for a judge to see so that it lands in your favor. Do what’s best for your kids, not what seems fair to him.
Don’t sign anything. Let your lawyer do this❣️
Your best offer is a 50/50 split with no child support
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Your being selfish. He should should have 50 50. Why are you wanting to shut her dad out of her life…You can’t punish her father.
He wants money but not full custody, literally. 
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Dont go for it isvmy advise.He wants all the control
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my dad fought for us
I didn’t have a lawyer until the day of court one was provided for me. My son was almost 3 at the time. His dad had a lawyer. We share custody. And he pays child support. But it was never about the money to me. I even told the judge what’s the lowest we can do. Truth be told me and my spouse don’t need the money. We had been supporting our son since he was one with little to no help. And I was supporting my son without his bio dad help when he was 3 months old… we even helped my sons bio dad before with letting him use our vehicle, money (he would pay us back), and we have him a BBQ pit a neighbor gave to us for free that we never even use. Texas wanted him on child support for my sons medicaid insurance and food stamps. It caused drama when he found out about child support but I did what was best for my son. And I’m glad I did. Because I didn’t know in a few months my son would have broken his femur and need surgery. His bio dad was such an ass about it in the beginning and even threatened to take my son away from me, and also said for me to drop the case or he was never gonna be involved in his life and then he blocked me on messenger. Never dropped the case. He was like this for almost 2 weeks and got over it.
Definitely sounds like it’s about control. He will get over it. You will get primary custody,and eventually hopefully he will find a way to communicate with you at a better level instead of trying to control you. Since you have a lawyer build up your case but don’t be trying to have 70 to 30 custody. Your child shouldn’t be affected by their siblings schedule. It sucks but he is her father. If he is a bad dad and you know it then it is a completely different story.
I’d counter file to do 50/50 and you primary until she starts school the judge will most likely see that as a better choice and that you’re more agreeable to seeing the child’s best interest
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So why can’t you go 50/50? As much as it confuses your son, the reality is, your son is not his, he no longer has to take him into consideration. He is your daughters father tho and he has every much as a right as you do to her. You guys made her together and he’s been there for her.
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Never give joint physical custody. Your giving up your rights. You’ll get visitation he will get say and you’ll pay him. Don’t do it!
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GET AN ATTORNEY!
You have listed compelling reasons for you to maintain primary residential (physical) custody.
Primary/ residential custody and “legal” custody are two different things.
The fact that he filed for residential “primary” custody and has requested that you pay him child support indicates that he is wanting to play dirty and try to bury you in legal fees. (Sad but not uncommon).
The courts often determine primary custody based off of who is and has been the child’s primary care provider.
Example: who takes care of the child the “most”… bathtime, meals, play time, teaching (potty training) and who takes the child to Doctor appointments, daycare/school, play dates, etc…
If this is you, get copies of medical, dental, school, etc… records. These should be noted who attended with the child.
Dad also lives quiet a distance from you and your YOUNG child.
How will this effect your child’s normal routine ?
Keeping routines as normal as possible is in a child’s BEST INTEREST.
Again,
GET AN ATTORNEY!!!
Document everything. Date, time, duration, etc… Calls, FaceTime, visits. Even bumping into him at the store.
Who initiated contact. Every single time!
NEVER say anything negative about the other parent to or in front of the child(ren).
Always try to encourage a positive relationship between the other parent and child.
*UNLESS there is ANY type of abuse that you didn’t mention. If that is the case… Tell your attorney who will advise you.
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His attorney advised him of it. The attorney gets paid more that way. Seen it a thousand times. But if you have her now, you have your son, and you aren’t unfit, no judge is giving him physical custody. You will probably get 100% physical with 50/50 on important decisions. Don’t worry as long as you work, don’t have strange men around, aren’t neglectful, abusive, or an addict, the judge isn’t splitting up siblings
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I’ve never known a man to have primary custody that didn’t have his momma, sister, or girlfriend/current wife doing most of the child care. Most men(not all) want full custody just to say they won and to get back at the mother.
If you have always had primary physical custody, it will take a lot for that to be reversed. He would basically have to prove you unfit. And I don’t know your circumstances, but typically it just doesn’t work like that. I don’t know what state you’re in, laws are different everywhere, but this is a fact in general. Also, she’s only two years old … Has he had overnights the entire time? During the separation? It’s a very important question.
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You would likely get primary custody because you are the mom. Plus, they’ve probably been with you this entire time.
My ex tried the same thing and didn’t work. Judge’s don’t typically give males primary unless there’s drug use or unsafe living conditions on moms end.
He wanted primary. I wanted joint. Now we have 50/50. No child support for either. He pays for his place. I pay for mine. We go half on dr co-pays or school pics…
During the school year, parent A gets Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. Parent B gets Wednesday and the weekends.
We split things like spring break in half.
During summer, 1 week moms, 1 week dads.
He wants primary custody as in she live with him not you and only sees u certain times
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Something stinks! Most men would not want to be straddled with the care of a 2 yr old girl! Are you sure your ex has no inappropriate plans? All children should be mandated to have joint custody and equal support of the child:bangbang:
My ex did this with our son… They now get money for my son and his gf gets WIC, foodstamps and soon to be cash assistance for him… While I’m pulling money out of my rear end to support him and completely start over from scratch . I was his main parent /provider from birth … I now only get to see him every other weekend They still dont have diapers for him a majority of the time and even ask my sister who lives in their building to help with diapers/milk food … I’d be very careful in your final decision … In the long run your bond with your child, the way you want to parent/raise them etc is jeopardized… I’d push for the 50/50 or 70/30 as you wanted… And see where that goes
No child support and you each have 50/50. If he gets primary, he has the control over everything. Don’t do it!!!
You ask for primary custody. Then compromise with 50/50.
No support if you are on equal financial footing. Both get to make decisions.
Your child’s relationship with the father needs to be equal. Siblings all over the country go through this. It’s not a reason to take time away from the other parent.
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Because he will get to make the decisions without discussing it with you. And you wanting 70/30 is just as bad. 50/50. Your wants don’t supercede his RIGHTS.
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If he makes more that is probably why he is seeking custody because he doesn’t want to pay child support to you
In my opinion it sounds like he wants to give you a run for your money. I’d push for joint custody so she gets to see dad and you n her brothers honestly