maybe so he can claim the child on taxes to get more money or credit? also keep in mind, whoever claims who on their taxes gets the stimulus checks too so if the child is on his return then he gets his stimulus checks as well.
Fight it. Don’t let him take it.
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Unles there is some bad reason that you won’t win then don’t even worry about it you’ll win
Also, she will have two daycares. One is bad enough but he won’t be obligated to use the day care you chose when he has her. When he has her he’ll get to make those decisions.
Get an attorney and don’t agree to anything.
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I think this is all about control. He controls the baby girl therefore controlling you.
Get an attorney . Sell things . Whatever it takes.
You sound like a selfish bitch. Why can’t you settle for 50/50?! You sound greedy and that you want to keep your child away from your ex. These guys did the right thing it sounds like running away from you.
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You cant keep a child just cause of a sibling
What state are you in?
Who has taken care of her the most? Who goes to doctor appointments? Who takes her to/from daycare? Who does dentist? Who does bath time and bedtime?
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Every other week, every other major holiday and every other birthday. 50/50 and this is coming from a father that is going through the same thing but sympathizes on BOTH ends. Good Luck!!
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Dads are just as important as mom’s, too. Just saying
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do 50/50 and no support.
It won’t happen. Hes being a dick. Don’t consider it.
What’s best for your daughter? Maybe that should be considered somewhere…
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Do 50/50. You can also put in he can have extended weekends. Thursday through Monday morning every other week. Let him be a dad. There are so many out there that refuse…
You sound like a ahole… it’s OK to keep her from dad but you worried about your son… 
classy… I can see why he’s asking for it 
You should do 50/50. 70/30 isnt fair at all.
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It’s her living with him
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Because he’s her dad and if he isn’t unfit why shouldn’t he ask for that. Aren’t you asking for that? No parent is more of a parent if both parents are good people who love and take care of the child properly . Courts have heavily favored the mother for so long and so unfairly that it seems SO taboo when a dad does what most moms do.
You created this broken home with multiple fathers so there’s a chance she’s not going to be with her half sibling like you want but if her father is a good dad, there’s no reason he shouldn’t want her the same way you do.
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This custody shouldn’t be about your other kids. But him being primary means he can make all the decisions without consulting you.
He’s asking for primary custodian so he can avoid paying any child support. Yes the ideal situation for the child is 50/50 but realistically that’s not possible if you are living in 2 separate cities. Lawyer up & contest him being primary & request child support, especially if it’s what’s in the child’s best interest (stable home, steady set routine, location of school/ established child care, etc should all be factored in to who should be deemed primary)
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex wants primary custody: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
50/50 custody with no support is the best for your child.
Still a way to control your life probably. Primary carer pulls most strings.
I have a friend that is 50/50 and the one that makes more money pays support. Also I believe she is considered the primary (they discuss things but in the end she has final say) but she pays him child support.
He is a coward. He does not want to have to pay you . He thinks he would be in control and you owe him.
Primary custody means the child will live with and spend most of their time with that parent. I would highly suggest that you do not do that!
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At this young age most custody arrangements will be in favor of the mother having either primary custody or joint custody. Depending on where she is currently spending most of her time. Depending on the income of both parents it sounds like most likely you would be rewarded some type of child support. Do not just give him primary custody.
In these types of situations if the kids are old enough to speak and think for themselves, i recon the courts should let the children make the decision whether they want to stay with mum or dad. Kids never get a say in anything. And this should be the decision they get to make.
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I do 50.50 custody and he still pays child support. All goes by who holds the most on the children.
Don’t agree. Go with joint custody. He pays when the child is with him, you pay when the child is with you and you both split child care costs. You want to have all your rights to your child. For doctor’s appointments, medical care, school forms etc.
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50/50 time split. Dad deserves the same amount of time with the child as mom.
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Child support and Tax deduction
My lawyer always said that we ask for the most and settle for in the middle. That’s probably what he is doing as well.
He may be throwing some jabs at you. He’s trying to hit you where it hurts and most know that taking a woman’s child from her is a hit below the belt unless she is an unfit mother. Fight for your child.
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Dont change what you want to happen in divorce court. Tell your ex no. I believe that she should be with her mama. I would never, if it was me in your shoes, never give someone my child.
Your right in keeping your children together. They need the comfort of each other in this divorce. Please keep full custody and him visitations with her.
I’ll be praying for y’all.
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He doesn’t want to pay you support which is why he wants primary physical custody. Tried thinking of a nice way to say this but I couldn’t … you can request the same 70/30 visitation that you have with your other child but if your youngests father is present and capable, asking a 70/30 for your convenience is just not appropriate IMO. Your kid comes first and 50/50 should only be charged when a child is school age and parents are unable to get the child to school due to being in a different town etc.
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My EXACT situation. I have been a stay at home mom our entire marriage and he requested 50/50 (he’s never watched our two girls a day or night alone and my oldest is 4). I believe it’s for the money unfortunately. I was trying to be lenient but I’ve realized that’s not in the best interest of my kiddos. Stay touch this stuff seems like it could get crazy.
Find an attorney… He is trying to take you fir everything… That’s dirty
Not all men are bad but I would be questioning why he would want to be the primary carer and want child support and also that’s your little girl a mum and daughter relationship is precious so is a dad and daughter but it’s not like your not wanting to be there I’m sorry but I wouldn’t why doesn’t he just arrange set days xx
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Whatever primary care for you is, basically what it is for him. Regardless of who earns more or not, whoever is primary carer will receive child support based on a person’s earnings. So if he gets fifty dollars from you because you earn $250…then that is what he gets to look after the kid on. Otherwise primary caregivers can stop you from having direct contact and time with kid as long as your notified…as there can only be one primary caregiver in a split family. Generally it’s the mum, but if you don’t want that, then he is held accountable for everything and U just pay what U pay, regardless of who earns more or not. The person entitled to child support is the primary caregiver. All you can do being a non primary caregiver is complain to welfare about the injustice if the children are treated by him badly. Call your agent if primary caregiver makes unfair requests and fake claims. Even if you have joint accesses for kids or living arragements, only one person is needed to make all legal decisions surrounding child and the primary caregiver doesn’t have to tell you a thing. So really think it through about what your both truly capable off and what your both truly selfish on and what you have done or won’t do for each other from now on be it past to present. Otherwise go for primary caregiver like him and fight for the best reason for the child selflessly.
Request 50/50, then no one pays child support. At least that’s how it worked in my county. Request that you swap claiming her on taxes (even years you/ odd years him) because according to the IRS, Primary Custodian gets rights to claim the child unless otherwise noted in your order.
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He is just trying to reduce any money he would have to pay. Don’t agree to anything.
why wouldn’t he want primary custody of his daughter? He does love her…right?? He would really have to prove he is the better parent, Most judges would either do joint or the mothers gets primary custody, Unless he can prove you a bad mother… So watch what you post on FB or any other social media, Now I do understand why you are asking this, but her dad does have the right to be & see & spend time with his daughter
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He doesn’t want to pay. Primary he can claim income tax and dependant. If he wants to move or change districts he can without your say. He has final say in medical as well. Depending on where you both live, once they start school 50/50 doesn’t always work. Something to think about. Good luck
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Do not agree to ANYTHING. That is what my attorney told me. Let the Attorney fight for you. Just do what you think is best for your kids.
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Dont I fell into that and signed primary to my daughters father due to her schooling and he then since has kept her from me I do all travelling only get every second weekend they get a baby bonus plus I pay child support…my daughter constantly cries that she wants to be with me full time and it was the biggest mistake that I’ve ever made… some people cant co parent and some people dont truly care for the child’s best interest
If he gets primary she will go to school in his town not yours (elementary middle high). Demand primary for yourself or you will be screwed.
He is doing that,because he doesn’t want to pay child support, my ex son in law tried that but he lost,this is just a way they try to get out off paying child support, he would have to prove that you are an unfit mom,and that there is abuse towards the child,and unsafe living conditions, no judge is going to give him custody,he’s trying to scare you,stey strong.
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Funny how if a man wants custody he’s just doing it for the money. How do you know he’s not the more fit parent?
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Peep this… Women do the same thing you’re accusing him of. Maybe just maybe he actually wants to have his fucking kid. If you see it as some money thing you’re the reason the baby dads left you
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Never give more custody than 50
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Shared custody is best no one pays child support
My god most of y’all are just like “he just doesn’t wanna pay YOU” what about the dads who are out here begging to be a part of their kids lives? And being denied ONLY out of spite?? My late husband was killed at work, so thankfully I won’t have to deal with this again but I raised that kid from 3 months to 9 yrs old and now since his death NOTHING she (the mom) was out for her money tho! Pathetic!!!
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This sounds like he doesn’t want you coming after him for child’s support since he would have to pay you, Because he makes more. Sounds like he isn’t wanting her because he loves her, he wants her for the money, so he can keep all his, plus take some of yours.
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Um joint custody is fine. He is just as much her parent as you are. Why do you deserve more custody than him? You simply do not. Go for joint. He doesn’t need full custody and neither do you.
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My question is why can’t he? isnt this child to?it sounds like maybe she don’t want to pay child support it goes both ways and I can say that cuz I’m a single father don’t receive child support and handling business so I feel he has every right to the child as she does 50/50 remember
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He wants to so he doesn’t have to pay you a bunch of child support. Talk to your attorney not people here (no offense). Every person, attorney, judge, court, county, district is different. Getting advice here will discourage you or set you up for disappointment.
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Sounds like his intentions are about him getting out of paying child support, I don’t see how this can work if he makes more money,
50/50 no child support involved.
Get someone to help you out with this issue
Go for what you want
He deserve to have his daughter to
Bunch of greedy females on this page. You got your feelings hurt,he left you for someone else and now you want him to pay! That’s why he left you! You’re greedy materialistic women. Look deep inside yourself and tell me I’m lieing!
Fuck him! He needs to step back and grow up! YOU should get full custody!
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Stop being a hoe! That’s my suggestion.
Fathers are parents too - maybe he’s asking because he wants to he then primary parent. Men aren’t assholes just cause they’re men. We want men to be involved and love kids the same or more yet we’re pissed and try to block them when they act like it.
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They’ll usually go by whoever has been taking care of her the most already. Plus where has she lived the majority of the time. Maintaining normalcy as much as possible.
Typically, custody has a specific legal meaning. It generally refers to the ability to make major life decisions for your child (what schools, what doctors to use etc). Residency has to do (again generally) with where your child lives. He wants primary because he doesn’t want to pay you support. That is usually the reason- especially if he hasn’t previously taken a lead role with your child.
You need to sit down and have an in depth discussion with your attorney.
This would mean the child would be with him more than you. You would get visitation of every other weekend and every other holiday and mothers day. You need to fight to be the custodian. Make him pay you child support as well. He is most likely doing this because he doesn’t want to pay child support himself. Your children deserve to be raised together. Good luck. I hope you get the custody stuff situated and get to be able to have both of your children as you want it.
When someone pays child support they have to pay 20% of their paycheck to the custodian parent. He would have her more than you. You said she goes to daycare in your town. But what about Drs and dentists?? You need to make sure that you do all of that as well. Also don’t allow him to take her anywhere until you have a court order because he could keep her. You can allow visits with you there at your house or a park or something.
50/50 joint primary and physical custody and leave it at that. Primary would basically give him the decision making. If he has a lawyer, they shoot high to make sure he gets 50/50. That is my opinion.
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Fight for your child and quit listening to him.
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50/50, you both made the kid.
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It’s likely he’s aiming fir the moon in response to your 70/30 proposal in the hopes the court will give him 50/50.
If you propose 50/50 with no childsupport perhaps you could save money and sanity and not even go to court.
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If he has primary he would have the final say in everything with your daughter. I would fight that.
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It’s not fair to base the custody arrangements for your daughter off the custody arrangements for your son.
Forget not being fair to him or even to you…It’s not fair to your daughter.
Your son’s father was a different story entirely.
That’s not the case here. Her father isn’t his father so it’s a little selfish that you’re trying to make it that way.
And as far as filing for full custody and child support.
As much as I hate to say it…family court…is sometimes a lot of game playing when the parents aren’t in agreement. It sucks but it’s the truth. I’ve seen it.
Now. I’ve seen it be like ridiculous and hurtful. Like calling cps and filing bogus charges.
But in a less dramatic fashion…If you’re a man who wants 50/50…and you know the other parent won’t go for it…asking for more than 50/50 is usually a good way to help get you there with less drama.
It shows the judge and the other parent that he as a father wants to be involved as more than just a weekend parent and that he doesn’t want to be pushed into that role by you.
It’s better for your daughter for you guys to have a good routine custody wise at a younger age. It makes things easier on her as she gets older.
I personally cannot tell you what to do. But if he’s a good father 50/50 should probably your first consideration.
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Court is not about the child and what’s best for the child.Its all about the money!!! You both need to come to an agreement and stick too it.
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Maybe your not very good at making the best decisions. Or maybe he just wants the money. How do we know , we don’t know both sides of the story. If you go to court I hope the judge makes the best decision for your child.
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At the end it’s always what’s best for your child.They live with you at the most only 18 to 19 years.Those are the most important basic child rearing years of schooling and college or university. Think about the outcome as to how your daughter will feel.Fathers are also part of the conception and believe me there are fathers that love their children and care…BUT…if there is an ulterior motive…BEWARE!
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Most states go in favor of mom’s he has to prove ur an unfit mother if he wants primary
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Do what’s best for your daughter. Is he a good father? If he is, custody should be 50/50, no child support.
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I’d get child support. Fifty fifty fifty at Maxx try for less . Trust ur gut
I’m not a fan of 50/50 placement plans. Especially when one parent lives almost an hour away. It’s hard on kids to have to switch back and forth all the time, especially when school starts. Kids need consistency and stability and I think 50/50 is more about being fair to the parents and not always what is fair to a child.
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So I have joint custody and I’m primary conservator with my 6 year old. It’s 50/50 basically i have the say in where she lives what school she goes to who her drs are and all that. I said I wanted 50/50 and the judge granted me primary. I have another kid now but I wouldn’t make my daughter stay home more just for my 19 month old. He pays child support but we agreed on a lowered amount. Even when we lived 4 hours apart we made it work by having a meeting spot half way. I’m not trying to come off rude but think about what’s best for your daughter not your son. I would totally fight for joint with you as primary but as for more they likely wouldn’t give it without reason. My ex is the one who went to the court first but since we agreed before hand I swore I would never keep her from him we decided 50/50 was best we don’t even go by the orders now 3 almost 4 years later
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It sounds like he’s just trying to get out of paying child support himself. You need a lawyer. 50/50 is fine, but you need to be primary. That’s assuming you are a good mother. We don’t know the whole situation here. Hopefully the child is put first.
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This is definitely not the place to receive advice about this. Every situation is different and every state/county has different laws. You really need to consult your attorney for advice and not listen to people who do not have a dog in the fight.
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Get a good female attorney, don’t let him intimidate you.
Joint custody, but you get primary. Primary means the child gets your address and your home is their first home. As long as the father is a good dad then joint is the way to go. Always want to keep both parents involved. If you have a lawyer then they should know and fight for what’s best for your child. Good luck.
Your lawyer should advise of your options. Good luck
I’m pretty sure his agenda is not having to pay support. Get a lawyer like now. Don’t get screwed over.
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It’s best if you all can settle on an agreement outside of court. You don’t want the court to ultimately make these decisions for you. Trust me.
He just doesn’t want to pay child support and wants you to pay him.
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He don’t want to pay child support. And it’s pathetic hes trying to do things that aren’t in the best interest of your child so he can get out of giving you money. I find it very very unlikely they’d give him full custody. The judge will ask him about dr, shots, daycare, whether he has a bedroom etc etc and I guarantee he hasn’t thought out any of that.
My ex did the same thing we settled for 50/50 custody with no child support think he just didn’t want to pay child support and still have a say in what happens with his kid I would try to work it out if possible if he’s a good dad my son’s dad is always there when his son needs him or needs anything and he provides for him when he’s at there house and we split costs for school, activities, and anything that comes up or we cover one another if he needs something and the other one is short it’s all about co parenting.
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A child who is 2 should not be going back and forth between parents. It often causes attachment disorders later in life. Research Early Childhood Development, specifically related to attachment disorders.
The judges 1st priority is the best interest of the child.
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A lot of y’all on here are bitter. Fathers are important as well!! Sometimes even the fathers make better parents then the mother does! Not all parents are out to get $, all they want is time spent with their children.
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Ask you’re lawyer. If y’all do 50/50 there shouldn’t be child support. I hear what
You’re saying about not wanting to keep the kids separated, but at the end of the day 50/50 is best if he’s a good father.
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