As a step mom myself ( been together for 6 years, since the child was 4) I would NEVER make a child that is not biologically mine call me mom. As for him, he needs to step up and tell her it isn’t right.
She has no say you need to talk to the father to your son her opinion does not matter.
Ugh
You have every right to be upset and mad
I’m not the type to sit back and not say something
If something isn’t sitting right with me it comes out eventually
Try addressing it with her, be tactful. I would tell her that I think it is great that she would like to be a mother figure in my son’s life. My son has expressed that he is uncomfortable calling you mom. I am just hoping that we both have his best interests at heart and let him call you mom only if he is comfortable doing so.
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She had zero right to block communication between the father and yourself. He is allowing that toxic behavior and you and him need to have a face to face.
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She is way over stepping. And stopping you from communicating with your sons father is completely out of line. Co parenting needs open communication not communication through another SO. I think you need to find a way to talk to him face to face about everything
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This is considered abuse. Went through this my ex and his wife. She is very controlling and would make my ex forward his emails and text to her as well. Even now that my son is an adult she still makes him give her his social media passwords etc. It’s ridiculous but it will never change. When I reached out for suggestions a social worker informed me this is considered emotional abuse. Sorry you are going through this.
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Yeah they’re wrong 110% if he wants to call her mom that’s one thing but to force him is wrong. AND he should be referring to you as mom always.
Wow, I’ve been with my bf for 9 years and his kids were 4 and 8 when we got together. I would never make them call me mom or even ask them to. They have a mom and that’s just disrespectful to her. If they did, I wouldn’t mind but only if they wanted to. Good grief 
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My fiancé is the only father my son has ever known and he calls him by his first name. And we’re getting married and expecting a daughter this November. He doesn’t push my son to call him anything. My son chose what he is comfortable with: she’s overstepped BIG TIME. I would get in touch with the father and put my foot down. That poor boy. If it didn’t stop then we’d be in court because manipulation of a child is absolutely horrid and you gotta protect that sweet boy of yours. If they’re refusing communication take it to court. This is a big deal. And some might not see it that way/ but it is a big deal. Speak to an attorney. This is just not okay on any level
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She’s a girlfriend, they’re not married so therefore I think it’s inappropriate. Furthermore, the fact that the child is facing consequences over how it’s making the girlfriend feel not being called mom is appalling and she needs to face her own feelings and how she’s not having the best interests at heart for the child by forcing him to call her something that makes the child uncomfortable. She’s not teaching the child autonomy and she’s teaching him her feelings are more important than his own. You need to have a conversation with the father and explain this and make it understood that some boundaries are to not be crossed and that you will not allow it and if the disrespect continues there will be consequences to face so that she knows gf knows her place.
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She does not get to get in the middle of co-parenting. That sounds like she’s too insecure to date a man with children.
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She has zero right to do that. I would go all Rocky Balboa in a heart beat on that ol raggedy ass hag
Basically, if they aren’t breaking the law, there’s nothing you can do. It’s gonna be ok. Your son knows who his mom is
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Confront her in front of baby daddy and let her and him both know. She is not his momma and he will not be calling her that note calling you by name. I would not put up with that. And she’ has no place to be talking to you about his son n urs.
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I would be angry but it’s just a word hun, the motherly bond, the trust, the unconditional love … its all yours … he could call her santa … wouldn’t make it true… just explain to your kid some people are weirdos and want to lie about things … she will soon get pissed off when u don’t kick off and your kid says to people I have to call her mommy coz some people lie lol
You do not have to communicate through her. Your ex should be communicating with you regarding your childs visitation or there would be no communication. I would go right to his house and speak to him, if shes there so be it, address her too. This whole situation is a Hell NO. Put your foot down, I wouldnt have it. Now if she had been around for a long time, was married to the dad then the child could come up with something they felt comfortable calling her then that’s fine. Shes just a girlfriend, and sounds like shes hasnt been around too long. No.
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Address it directly with her
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Call the courts its one thing if they was married or if he even wanted to her mommy or mom! But if he doesnt want to he shouldn’t get hurt!!
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Na that’s not on. As a step parent myself I’d never make their kids call me mum, I’m not their mum, they have a mum.sounds like you need to be getting some lawyer advice
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You need to stop her. She’s just a girlfriend not a stepmom even then she had no right. And you need to address it with your ex. Tell your son right if front of them she is not your mom. He should be calling her by her first name not you
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I would have made an end to that real quick.
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I think in this situation you have every right to be more than just upset. Unfortunately I don’t think you’ll be able to do anything about it at the moment. How long has she been with the sperm donor ? Sounds to me like she’s jealous as hell & even more so when it comes to specifically YOU !! I hope y’all manage to figure this out. Good luck 
What’s wrong with your x ??
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Wow no that is not ok.
Wow she seems so controlling… It’s one thing he does it on his own, but to make him or he’s in trouble is wrong… And your ex is very childish for not communicating with you. Maybe go back to court
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I’m so sorry that sucks but she is over stepping her boundaries. I hope things work out for u.
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Take it court and have meet pick up time and drop off time were only he is there or his parents. Until they are married you can enforce that. Put your foot down. Your son shouldn’t be forced to say that only if he wants to.
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I have four step children and not one of those kids call me mom or mommy they call me step mom and they did that on there own after 4 years I didn’t expect it force or even ask them to .
I’d be wild.
I don’t think it should forced. My son calls his dad’s gf mom but that’s by choice. If you aren’t allowed to speak with dad because gf put herself in the middle then bring it up to her. She wants to communicate with you instead of him then she can deal with the hard shit too.
Um, as a jealous woman I understand the insecurity HOWEVER, she has absolutely no right whatsoever to interfere in communications between you and the father. Also, his father should be putting that woman in her place. He should have enough b respect for you as the mother of his child to tell her that you are the only one he HAS to call mom.
If it were me, I would go over there myself and set the record straight.
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I’m showing up at her house so we can chat like adults…but that’s just me.
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Oh no!!! That needs to be stopped yesterday!!! If you can’t address it with them then take it to the courts girl!
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1 word…Attorney…you absolutely need to communicate with your child’s father.
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Confront her about it. Call her directly, not your ex’s phone.
F that…
communication is not allowed?! A judge would NOT allow that, that is his and your child, not hers. Do not just let that go… it should NEVER be through someone else…
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If they was married. I might consider it. But girlfriend? Definitely not. This is between you and his father. He needs to man up and address it. I can almost say. He is aware. The girlfriend has absolutely no say in this. Let her know that you need to talk to him about your son. And let her know about her involvement. It’s way off base. How does your son feel about it? If he’s not liking it. Then I’d keep him home until you and your ex figure things out.
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That women sounds super jealous and controlling! What’s worse your son has told you he is being abused verbally/physically.
You need to contact a laywer and get a restraining order or something to protect your son and his rights.
Can you speak to your ex’s parents to worn him things need to change or you will be seeking legal action?
No handing your child over unless it’s with direct contact and communication with your ex.
That women is toxic even for your ex partner.
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Do u take ur son to his fathers? If so then u need to tell him u two need to have a conversation face to face between the two of u and only the two of u.
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What SPECIFICALLY does your court order state? Does it state you and thr father must communicate on shared custody arrangements? Because if so, and she’s interfering, then that’s contempt of a court order and I’m petty enough to report it.
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It sounds like she is very controlling and hopefully he runs. I wish I had some advice but I’m at a loss bc I don’t feel any child should be demanded to call a gf mommy
Have never once in 10 years asked my step kids to call me mum. Just wrong
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I’m playing devils advocate here. How old is your child? Is it possible he could be making up stories or exaggerating for attention? I would do the adult thing and sit down with Dad and the new girlfriend and talk like adults. How serious are things with new girlfriend? Do they live together? It sounds like a major communication breakdown among all parties involved.
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Do derogatory comments to the child about the other parent, either by the other parent or those charged with their care. It will hold up in court. Send a certified signature required letter and ask them to stop. It is contempt in the eyes of the court.
But you will need a lawyer.
Your ex is P-whipped, bad!
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I would get a lawyer and talk to explain everything to the lawyer and take it to court. My opinion is none of that is right - your son should not have to call her mommy and your son’s father should talk to you himself by phone or text not his girlfriend - she should stay out of it. Have you been to court? Is there a court order? Prayers. Good luck.
Absolutely NOT. She would be catching hands.
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You certainly have the right to be mad. She has no right to make him call her mommy & you by your first name. She has no right to make you talk to her instead of him. You can try to file a parenting time restriction restricting her contact to your son. Because she punished him for not betraying you she emotionally abusive. Getting him in counseling wouldn’t be a bad idea. His counselor can testify to the affects she’s having on him.
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Prayers that it all works out especially for your child.
It’s okay if your sons wants to call him mom. But it’s she or anyone is forcing it. It’s not okay. Well. In my opinion.
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That’s abuse,I’d stop contact immediately and go through court.
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That should solely be left up to the baby to decide when and if he would ever call her that. As for dad, if communication is shut off due to the girlfriend then I am sorry but he is not a good dad. He should always put his son before her when need be. This is need be! I would try sending the dad a text and let him know how it makes the baby feel. If it continues the next text would be see you in court. Bet he would answer then. I would also be aware of any change in your son because she might scare him enough to tell you she doesn’t make him call her that anymore but she still might. When it comes to your. Hold just remember to always put him first regardless of you might think you hurt sling the way. I mean don’t worry about hurting dad’s feelings. He obviously doesn’t care that his son is hurting.
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Next drop off/pick up, correct HER and tell it to her face, say he can call YOU by YOUR first name. You did NOT birth him and YOU have no fucking right, if you have an issue with that or give him shit when he calls you by your NAME, then he wont be around you. Plain and simple. Also tell her to back off when it comes to communication with his father it is your guys’ child not you and hers. Show you mama bear claws and if she has a problem with it, go back to court.
Um, no.
You need to get a mediator, call the court and ask for one.
This needs to be addressed, properly, before any more damage is done to your son.
Props for being able to confront level headed, I hope the other adults come around for your son.
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Next time you see her tell her to stay in her lane and make sure your ex is there and knows it too.
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All my life I’ve always let any kids that I was around me call me whatever they wanted to whether it was my first name or something different that way they’ll feel more comfortable my daughter threw her teen years was calling everybody mama every woman she met was mama didn’t bother me none
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Have him call her mommy dearest.
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If I was in that position and she wouldn’t let me talk to the dad about my son, I’d go to her azz!!!
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Just wait it out, she’ll be gone because he’ll get tried of it
Documentation is the biggest thing on this subject. As well as getting him to a counselor. They will address this with him. And then once you have documentation from a professional therapist or counselor. Take it to court. Have her to where she has no contact with your son. This is disrespectful to you as well as she is shutting down the communication between you and the child’s dad as the parents. She needs to understand her bounderies. And what she is doing is mental abuse.
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First of all… she answers his texts/calls for him? Is he a child? As a father in a co-parenting situation he should be man enough to tell his girlfriend that she has no right to insert herself into the situation in that kind of manner. He should be putting the child first, which includes nurturing the relationship with you as the mother. As much as it isn’t ok for the girlfriend to be doing this, it’s more your exes fault for allowing her to.
Second… I would be upset too if someone was forcing my child to call them “mommy”. It’s one thing for a child to do so on their own terms, but being told to and punished if they don’t is definitely not ok!
I would tell both dad and the girlfriend that if this doesn’t stop and if dad doesn’t start communicating for himself then your son will not go there until they are ready to act like adults and until the girlfriend stops putting your son in a stressful situation (which the dad should certainly not be condoning or enabling by any means).
You say he’s a great father (and I’m not saying he isn’t), but this whole post sort of proves otherwise! Any man that allows someone to not only interfere with his co-parenting relationship, but also allow a woman to manipulate his son into calling her “mommy” and punishing him for not (which is a form of mental and emotional abuse) doesn’t sound so great in my books, sorry to say 
.
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Thats brain washing also child abuse im going threw the exact same if not worse my exs girlfriend is honestly mentally ill for what shes done. 
first step , address it with him or both then document it every-time your son tells you that or whiteness etc. if your son is young get him in to a children’s counselor who can also be a whiteness to this. More legible in court than your word for it. File in court for change of custody or visitation. My best advice is to nip it before it gets worse and your own child’s mentality is at risk. Any women like that will and can do worse to brain wash a child.
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Who in the he** does she thinks she is and why in the he** is your ex not correcting that? That is not okay ever. I agree that you need to get some legal advice. She is going way too far, stepping over boundaries. Your ex is not a “good dad” if he isn’t keeping lines of communication open with you. What kind of bs is that? Ugh, I’m so livid for you.
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Oh. You need to dead that. And file a third party no interference. And he is by court order to communicate with you if you have joint custody. NOT HER.
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I don’t think he’s such a great father if he lets her punish him for not calling her mom!!! He needs to grow a pair!!! 
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Oh hell no! Sge has no right to force him to call her mom or get in trouble. That’s a deal breaker.
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Confront that girl if she’s texting for him or watching his phone send him a nice long text explaining how she did not push that child out of her body and he has a mother in his life and if she does it again she might be missing some teeth…shit I would loose my mind !!
Your ex needs to grow a set of balls.
You have every right to be upset.
She needs to understand that you two co parent and need to be able to talk.
I would say get a mediator and discuss it. This is ALL about your son and that is it! She is the girlfriend so why is she having so much control? Is he so weak that he can’t stand up to her!? It should be your son’s choice what he calls her and as for her FORCING him to call her mommy, she sounds like an insecure bully
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That is NOT acceptable. If you are unable to contact dad without interference from his girlfriend I would have my attorney set up an appointment to discuss this situation. Sounds like this situation has reached a level where a simple conversation to clear the air and establish ground rules has passed. You need to make this official. Contact between parents is imperative. There are situations that can and will arise that you will need to discuss. What she is doing is wrong on many levels!! Legally she has NO control or imput over anything involving your child. Nor does she have the right to restrict your contact with the father! This needs to be addressed. This entire situation based on what you say is extremely disturbing. I’m curious does she also restrict your childs ability to contact you during visits? If so you and your attorney need to be aware. There are several red flags that are concerning me. It seems your child is not on board with calling her mom. Sounds like he is extremely upset at being forced to do so or face punishment!! That in itself could be and has been considered abuse. Your attorney will be able to better advise you on how to handle this matter.
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All I have to say is… what the fuck. Would not fly.
Definitely not acceptable behavior from both your ex and his gf. If he is not man enough to stand up for your child because of a woman, then he definitely does not deserve joint custody. The gf is not supposed to cut communication between you and your ex. I would say the best thing is to go to court but first send a message to your ex stating that you need him to call you to discuss this situation. If there is refusal, u keep that proof. Keep all the correspondence as proof she is not allowing communication. Also, record your son telling you everything, be very calm, you need to show that you are asking your son to get the full story and to show him support, nothing more. So no harsh words or letting your anger come across. Rather let your hurt, disappointment and support come accross in the recording. U recording it as u can use it in court and u dont have to make your son tell the story over and over. It’s traumatic.
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If she insists he call her mommy say “call me mommy and her mommy dearest.” It’ll be a running joke for the 2 of you for a long time. But I’d have a serious discussion with her and let her know it should never be forced. If he feels comfortable calling her that and wants to then fine but not forced! Otherwise it’s mommy dearest for you!
You are better than me
Id show up at her house and end up leaving in the back of a cruiser 
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You need to screen shot everything. You need to put in for “change” and address to the judge the issues. And have your son be allowed to be questioned by the judge to allow child input.
Joint Custody doesn’t give any rights to the girlfriend except her being around the child and making decisions if she’s the only “caregiver” with no parent present at that particular time.
But Joint Custody means you and the father are to communicate, not the girlfriend.
My ex and I had the same problem and they jumped his butt, and he continued to do it but I just kept all documents.
I would address it with her! I don’t care if she is doing something wrong I would correct it then and there. "You are not his mother and just cause you walk all over my ex doesn’t mean you are the boss of my kid."Obviously he doesn’t stick up for the little one so go momma mode.
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Well since she is the one who answer his phone, you tell her !!! And see a lawyer… a joint custody means communication between you and the dad ,not you and his gf… she is nothing !!!
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Nope that bitch needs to pull her head in, and go see both of them without your daughter. If she wants a title it should just be her first name or Aunty…
Tell her to back up and to make her own if she wants to be called mommy. So not cool.
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Your ex’s gf has some serious issues!And as for your ex, well he’s a loser for not stepping in to correct your son!He’s also a muppet if he can’t talk to his baby mama if it’s child related !
Thats crazy my partner has a daughter from a previous relationship and I would never dream of telling her to call me anything other than my name, when she was little she would by accident and we would giggle about it and how she got mixed up
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Oh hell no there is a line and she has crossed it she can’t force a child that isnt hers to call her mum she isn’t even a step mum she is just the gf take the ex back to court
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Wtf…straight up HELL NO!!
I’d be very worried about sending your son there for now. If you can’t get a hold of him, you need to go to court or get a lawyer to help you get in contact with him. Save as much evidence as you can. She’s abusing your son. You are such a patient soul. I saw red just from reading your post. Can’t believe you have kept your cool all this time. She’s obviously very toxic and God forbid he marries her, I can’t imagine what she will put your son through! Your ex needs to step up! No pussy should ever come between a man and his child
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Apply for mediation, she won’t be invited
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Dont send him . Get it sorted first
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I’m sure you see him at pickup/drop off…talk to him then, and tell him it is not appropriate for your son to be punished for not calling her mommy. I’d approach it from a place of concern for their relationship. “I don’t want him to end up resenting her for this. They’ll spend a lot of time together, I’d like them to have a good relationship, and care about each other. This is going to damage their relationship and cause resentment/negative feelings. If it doesn’t stop, we’ll have to go to court to resolve this, and I really want to avoid that.” Empathetic, but firm. Preferably at pickup so kiddo doesn’t have to deal with dad’s foul mood afterwards.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My exes girlfriend makes me son call her mommy: Help!
So why not talk to her? Maybe there’s miscommunication. How old is your son?
I would be stopping all communication with her. If she’s answering all calls and text then next pickup/drop off talk to him face to face then about the issue. No child should be forced to call someone mommy or daddy. That should be the child’s choice and the fact he’s getting into trouble for not calling her mommy is serious bs that is not okay
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Absolutely not! I would NEVER expect my step daughter to call me “mom”, she HAS a mom and a pretty great one at that. The fact that she’s only the girlfriend makes the situation ten times worse. I would confront them in person and tell your son he NEVER has to call her anything but her name. She’s not his mother or even his step mother, she’s the girlfriend & she should learn her place.
This is coming from a step mom and a bio mom. That’s the most disrespectful shit I have ever heard. You’re a lot more decent than I would be, I would have been arrested already.
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I wouldn’t be polite, she’s not! So that is so wrong just make it clear you’re happy for them and whatever nothing personal but that’s not cool. He has a mom, you. I would flip.
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Yikes! I would not handle that well!!!
My child would not be returning until I was able to speak to them face to face. That is a form of child abuse
You can legally take them to court for that. Even if it’s voluntary that he calls her mom, when she isn’t. No, I’m not joking.
I have a brother, half brother, who was raised by my dad (who isn’t his biological dad). He’s about 45ish now.
Back when he was little, he used to call my dad “Dad” despite it not being his biological dad. His own choice, his own preference, my dad was very honored.
His bio dad caught wind and took him to court and sued him for falsely posing as his sons dad. He won the case, despite my dad never having forced the title. To this day, my dad doesn’t even like it if his daughter calls him “grand dad” and has to constantly remind her he isn’t her grandfather, because he doesn’t want to be sued again.
Just a lesson to learn, whether voluntary or forced, you can view someone as mom or dad but bio parents have over ruling in a child’s life to rights and labels over non bios, and in the case of being forced, you have an even stronger suit to sue because it is damaging to your relationship with him, his mental health, and it can be argued a “girlfriend” is not a promised constant in his life and you do not need your son being around influences that may come and go at a young age affecting his future relationships and how he sees them.
Its a stretch, but still all true, and all very real situations previously used in court.
I would definitely communicate with ex and his gf first, but if they continue the gross behavior, I’d send them a lawyers letter.
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OH HELL NO! I have a son and over my dead body would he be calling someone else Mommy! If I were you I would talk to him about it face to face so there are no excuses on his part and don’t give him time to think about it!
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That could be mental child abuse. Keep your kid away until they follow your rules
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NO! HELL NO!
I am a step mom and have been for 14 yrs and he was 1 1/2 yrs old when he came into my life and never have I expected him to call me mom nor have I ever wanted him to! My children also have a step mom and have NEVER called her mom!! They have a mom and dad and we are both present in their lives! I think you need to address this at drop off or pick up if it can’t be addressed over a phone conversation. She is most definitely over stepping her boundaries! Bonus parents are a great thing in a child’s life but should never be forcing your child to do such thing!
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I would talk to her directly… respectfully 
She has nothing to do with your son. No relation at all. He has ONE mommy and you earned that title.
He should not be forced to call her mom. If he wants to later on his own fine. She is not his mom. Ex needs to have a heart to heart with her
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